troperville

tools

toys

Wiki Headlines
It's time for the second TV Tropes Halloween Avatar Contest, theme: cute monsters! Details and voting here.

main index

Narrative

Genre

Media

Topical Tropes

Other Categories

TV Tropes Org
random
Funny: Jim Cornette
Jim Cornette isn't a man known for his reticence, past or present. There exist numerous promos and interviews featuring him, in which you will hear some of the funniest shoot material ever. Listed below will be some of his greatest hits:

  • The Dairy Queen Incident, which could also double as a Moment Of Awesome. In 1994, after a disappointing show in Hyden, Kentucky, Cornette is riding shotgun in a van with a several wrestlers, driving back to Knoxville, and they had stopped at a Dairy Queen along the way. The line at the drive-thru was slow and backed-up, and from the time they ordered at the speaker to when they arrived at the window, a full twenty minutes had passed. When they got to the window to pay, the employee told them that they hadn't even started on the order; because it was a big order (around $40 for eight wrestlers), they thought Cornette and the group placed it as a joke. Cornette begins cursing, saying they wouldn't have placed the order if they weren't hungry, and the employee snaps back at him for cursing at her.note  He then gets out of the van and proceeds to lay into everyone in the building! The manager sheepishly apologizes, and Cornette gets back in the van, where everyone had been holding in their laughter up to that point.
    Cornette: I'll goddamn come through that fucking window and cuss you, you fucking cunt!
    • Even funnier was the fact that one of the wrestlers in the van was none other than a young Chris Jericho! Contrary to popular belief, Jericho was not the one with the video camera,note  but he contributed to the exchange with this gem:
    Jericho: Does this look like a fucking comedy bus to you?!
  • Shit's on!
  • After TNA Victory Road '11, Cornette ascends the Cornette Face on Twitter: "Just watched TNA, and now I need a new face."
  • One shoot interview has him describing Mark Calaway preparing to beat Shawn Michaels to a pulp should he screw over "Stone Cold" Steve Austin like he did Bret Hart in Montreal Screwjob. (thankfully, Michaels lost as planned.) He sums it up by outright speaking "to" Michaels.
    Cornette: Because Undertaker cared about the business and the rest of the boys rather than his own fuckin' little meager self. Shawn. Hi. "Born again." I was not in favor the first time.
    • In another shoot on the Montreal Screwjob, he described Mick Foley's reaction to the whole thing.
      "I love you, Cactus, but you were upset that a promoter would fuck one of the boys. That's like being upset that Jenna Jameson would take one up the ass! It's unheard of!"
  • His shoot interview about Joey Styles started off relatively calm until Republicans and Obamacare are discussed. Then it gets colorful.
    Cornette: "I've paid approximately, probably a million and a half dollars in income tax over the past twenty-five years; if I get sick, they oughta have a nurse come to my house and blow me for free!"
  • He also has quite a bit to say about some people hoping the president of their own country to fail.
    Cornette: "And what's more un-American than publicly hoping the president of the United States fails? That's like hoping the power of your airplane fails because you don't like its opinion on Global Warming! We're all in this together, you fucking morons! You hope he fails; if he fails, we're fucked!"
  • Cornette had a great throwaway line in the leadup to Wrestlemania 12(after Yokozuna's face turn) to acknowledge Mr Fuji's absence: "I have no idea how poor old Mr. Fuji fell down that flight of stairs...and I was right behind him!"
  • Cornette watching and critiquing the WrestleRock Rumble (a promotional song/video for the AWA's pay-per-view WrestleRock '86 and a parody of the Super Bowl Shuffle) during a shoot interview. His reactions are humorous, but the icing on the cake is his reaction to seeing Jerry Blackwell splash a piece of lumber.
    Cornette: *laughing* "God damn, I could break that!"
  • Jim Cornette guesting on Stone Cold Steve Austin's podcast some time ago and telling a bunch of road stories:
    • One story featured Cornette telling about how Gene Anderson would grip the nerve point on the elbow and "he would grab the Barbarian and he'd say "Tell me you're a faggot, tell me you're a faggot" and the Barbarian would go "I'm a faggot Gene please let me goooo!"
    • Another one had a rib being played on Tojo Yamamoto and Phil Hickerson by Dennis Condry.
  • At a Mid-Atlantic Wrestling Convention February 4th 2004, the crowd who attended broke out into an impromptu "Russo Sucks" chant. Jim, one of the "legends" being in attendance, said that if anyone got that on tape he would send it to him.
  • His Kevin Dunn impersonations. Cornette's hatred of him and how over the top he is, plus whenever he is asked he gleefully obliges.
    "Well, (nit nit nit) we're gonna have Bret say shit. And I know you're not supposed to say shit on your network." (nit nit nit)

Michael ColeFunny/Professional WrestlingBo Dallas

random
TV Tropes by TV Tropes Foundation, LLC is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.
Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available from thestaff@tvtropes.org.
Privacy Policy
11597
33