In "Your Ed Here," Kevin makes Eddy kiss Eddon the lips. If you listen closely, you'll hear "nooo" and a "lock n load" sound effect before Eddy kisses Edd. Kevin and Nazz's reactions are funny too.
Kevin making Eddy bark like a seal and play horns with his mouth, then throwing him a fish as a "reward."
In "The Good Ol' Ed", in a fake flashback, Edd was suffering from an extreme case of hiccups, which Ed tried to cure by holding Edd's mouth open very wide and shouting "I am a zombie, and I will malice you with a shoehorn!" into it.
Rolf using a corkscrew to make Swiss cheese in "Stuck in Ed"
The climax of the Valentines' Day special. "The harsh realities of your miserable lives have been restored! Thank you."
From "For The Ed, By The Ed": "A wooden board saved you from three evil witches and a creepy-crawly? MAMA! The fairy tale that haunts Rolf has come true!"
After getting a cow tipped on him in "Ed, Ed and Away": "Never again will Rolf store house keys in his trouser pockets..." Even better is how the split second before the cow falls on him, he has enough time to scream "Mama! A bandage for Rolf!"
The entire "That's My Horse" sequence from "Wish You Were Ed".
Rolf's tall tale about crossing the sea in a leather canoe in "Knock Knock, Who's Ed": "A giant sea cucumber arose from the depths with one eye, blinking and blinking and looking at Rolf like a sandwich!"
While helping Sarah search for her diary in "For Your Ed Only": "The space beneath the rock is vacant, she who gives migraines."
"Are you weak in the upper story?"
Being caught on film in the ending of "An Ed is Born": "Are you stealing Rolf's soul with your film-box? Rolf will release his rage now!
"Excuse me Ed-boy, a moment of your time? Never use hot wax to soothe enraged lobsters. Thank you."
His doomsday speech about school in "Out With The Old, In With The Ed." Or at least, the fact that it's a doomsday speech. Especially "The time of reckoning is upon us, half-naked Ed boys. For it is here we will be mercilessly judged."
In "Rent-a-Ed" when he turns up the steam in the sauna causing his towel to fall off causing everyone to run away. Even funnier is how HE was the one who got offended.
Rolf: I must protest the rudeness of your guests.
Ed with bananas up his nose.
Ed: Buy one, get one free! Ha ha ha.
In "A Boy And His Ed", Edd is teaching Ed and Eddy about Kevin while they plan to get jawbreakers from him. At one point, Ed and Eddy shoot spitballs at the Kevin dummy Edd made.
Eddy: Not bad, huh, burr-head? Ed: Graah. (Ed puts a book in his mouth, chews it up, and tries to spit it out through the straw, but it backs up) Ed: Oh no! My brain came out! Eddy: That's too big to be your brain!
Edd: What's the first thing you notice about Kevin here? Eddy: His chin is almost as big as yours? Edd: (quickly pulls his shirt collar up over his chin) No, I was talking about, um... Eddy: Those three stupid hairs on his head?
In "Key to My Ed", Eddy is trying to figure out what a key they found opens. Edd starts to drone romantically about what it could possibly open, until Eddy tries to pry open a manhole cover, and the key flings away and ends up stuck in Edd's gap.
Eddy: It's a key! It�s supposed to open something! Edd: That's right, Eddy. Something dear and personal, like a box of photographs, or a diary with pages of truth and duration, or as simple as a locket of love. It's our responsibility to see that this key returns to its forsaken owner so life can- *thunk* *beat* Mortified? Yes. But I won't let myself fall prey to such shallow emotion. Not now. [continues talking through the shift in scenes] There's a fellow human crying for help, trying to mend the unraveled ball of yarn handed to them. Maybe that's the kind of world you wish to live in, Eddy, where the unyielding and the indifferent supersede the benevolent. I say- Eddy:SHUT UP, DOUBLE D! Ed, you understand anything Double D said? Ed:Pass the mustard.
The "Slide on the soap!" sequence in "From Here to Ed".
From the same episode, when Eddy prepares to fire a cannon at Kevin from a very crudely-built cardboard cloud contraption, Double-D's reaction takes the cake:
Edd: No one would ever suspect Mother Nature to harbor a spring-loaded circus cannon and blow innocent bystanders to kingdom come!
Eddy: *beat* I'm rubbing off on you, Double D!
The Eds' disguising themselves as Johnny by dressing up in a giant papier-mache head with a crudely-made replica of Plank glued to it. At the end of the cartoon, Johnny walks by wearing the thing and quips "Check it out, guys! I'm inside my own head!"
Kevin doesn't even take a second-glance at the disguise and just says "Oh! Hey, Johnny!". Then, the Eds trip over a fence and get stuck because of the large head, prompting Kevin to snark, "What a freak."
Ed: [jumps above Jimmy] "Prepare to meet your maker!"
Jimmy: "Antonucci?" [Ed crushes Jimmy; Kevin crosses Ed over and whistles by]
Then there's "It Came From Outer Ed", showing us exactly what happens when Ed comes up with a scam. It involves many parts that make no sense, including Ed telling Edd to move a bunch of rocks onto an X on the ground, despite the fact that Ed actually painted a Q. This is probably the highlight:
Ed: Nice job, Double-D! That looks just like a Q. Edd:Excuse me? Ed, I think somewhere along the line you lost your train of thought. Your plan is irrational, muddled, and inconsequential... Is that a doggy treat? Ed: * munching on a dog biscuit* What's the rock for, Double-D? Edd: * bewildered, drops the rock on his foot* My foot! Eddy: * comes into scene brutally injured* MY HEAD!
Ed: (Eating the mattress, and finishes as Double D shakes in fear of seeing things he rather not see, and somehow manages to digest the whole thing into his stomach, and retaining his original form shortly thereafter) "That hit the spot!
Edd: "Ed, what have I told you about the needless taxing of one's digestive system?"
"Wolf down the non-believer!"
The end of "I am Curious Ed", when the Eds have failed to explain to Jimmy and Sarah where babies come from, Ed delivers this gem of a line;
Ed: There there, Double D, it is not your fault you are so useless!"
The fact he delivers this line whilst smiling is hilarious, as is him picking up Eddy by the scruff of his neck with his teeth and flying over his house to drop him down the chimney.
Leading up to that moment, we've got Ed all eager about touching the grass.
Ed: I'm smarter than a sign!!! *Lifts up grass and crawls underneath it*
Ed: *Pops out of grass* BOING!
Edd: Well, I suppose that Ed's not technically on the grass...
Robbin' Ed. All of it. From Edd's Bad Bad Acting in the "infomercial" for the Thing-a-ma-jig to Jonny's superhero alter-ego Captain Melonhead being saved from getting dunked in gravy by Ed (AKA "Average Joe").
Edd: Hold your horses! This butt's been used!
The entirety of "Eds-aggerate", especially the part with Ed interrupting Edd yet again by showing that he has a bone in his ear canal.
Ed: Well, I was walking down the sidewalk, carrying Eddy's box, when I saw a bug. Hello, bug! I followed the little dickens to this tree, see? And I hit my head on that branch! (hits head on branch) Nope, sorry. It was this one. (hits head on another branch) Then, I gazed at the stars.
Edd: Ed? Please don't do that.
Eddy: C'mon, we're wasting time! Where'd ya hide the magazines, Ed?
Ed: Here we go... (pulls out a rubber chicken) ... a rubber chicken. (throws chicken) "Hide the box, hide the box", I said... (trips on rubber chicken) ... but then I tripped; hanging onto my pal's box of magazines for dear life! (falls over) I fell, and slid into a sewer.
Eddy:A SEWER?! My magazines are in the sewer?!
Edd:Seems appropriate. You do realize that if your magazines are in that sewer, they'll be totally illegible; the text smeared by the damp sludge.
Kevin's gift is to Nazz is to have Rolf shave her name into the side of Victor's fur:
(Victor is wearing skates, and Rolf rolls him over to Nazz)
Nazz: Victor changed his name to "Nazz," just like me!
Rolf: Are you weak in the upper story?
Kevin:(nervous and sweating) Heh-heh. Later, Rolf. Kinda neat, huh, Nazz? It's sort of a gift for you.
Nazz:(notices that the skates Victor is wearing are hers) Why is Nazz wearing my skates?
(Rolf looks as though he is dumbfounded by Nazz's stupidity)
Kevin: Um, yeah, I put in new bearing so they glide real smooth, you know.
Rolf:(sounds like he's about to start laughing) Rolf will sit to the side and observe with hysterics! (he walks away, pushing Victor along)
At the end of the episode, the Eds try to play a song to win Nazz's heart. We have Ed introducing the song with his comb and paper, and soon Edd starts playing the bongos. And then Eddy starts singing:
Eddy: (singing) Hit me! Have mercy! Dear Nazz don't give me gas! Right on! Oh yeah! Uh huh you are so rad! Oh baby! Stop me! Uh huh!
Then it turns out that they are singing at Jimmy's house and, not only is he wearing curlers, but he offers to join their "band" by pointing out that he "plays a mean xylophone".
Ed using a vacuum to suck up his baby sister Sarah's snot in "Is There An Ed In The House?".
For about 10-15 seconds, no less.
Ed's attempt at drawing a picture of Rolf includes a giant monster standing behind him. "Rolf's head is about to be crunched by a four-legged mutant bus driver."
Jimmy and Ed's dueling bedtime stories.
Jimmy: Silly Little Jilly frolicked in the daisies... Ed: Spewing slime from its tentacles! Jimmy: "I'm so silly", said Jilly... Ed: As Zorbo sucked his brain!
"Ed, you're the motor." "I have achieved greatness!"
"An Ed Is Born", the one where the boys are making a video to send to Eddy's brother, is CMOF in its entirety.
Edd: Sorry, Eddy, the 'planet baron' story threw me off.
The scene where Ed eats the camera is the icing on that cake of hilarity.
Ed: Man the helms! Dive! Dive!
Edd:(sternly) Ed, what have you done? Open it! OPEN IT!
The last scene in this episode tops it off...
[Rolf is shown coming into the house in the background sniffing the floor]
Edd: Uh-oh, a fence. (runs into it) Gravy! Ed: Aw, c'mon, Double-Dee, I don't say "gravy" all the time Edd: Buttered toast, then.
In "Ed, Ed and Away", Ed manages to make Eddy fly by pulling on a strap on Eddy's pants, causing his hair to spin and rising into the air like a helicopter. Edd's reaction is the funniest part:
Edd: Remind me to ask how you did that Ed...
The same episode has Edd, near the beginning, complaining about their endless series of failed scams:
Edd: It's the same thing, day in and day out... it's so monotonous! A pipe dream, at best! Ed: You are not alone, my friend. I dream of pipes, too.
Also, in the same episode, all three Eds are chasing after a balloon as they run through Rolf's farm and plow through several animals... Except for a cow which promptly falls on top of Rolf.
Rolf: Never again will Rolf store house keys in his trouser pockets...
And again, from the same episode and sequence:
Edd: We'd have to sprout wings to reach it at that height! Ed: Fly, Double-D, fly! *throws Edd* Nazz: *walks by* Hey, guys, whatcha doin'? Ed: Fly, Nazz, fly! *throws Nazz* Eddy: She didn't even make a grab for it!
Then, after the balloon pops...
Ed: Float, little friend, float. *tosses balloon*
The whole episode, really. Gets even better when you realize that the show managed to make a funny and entertaining episode about chasing a balloon.
The entire episode 'They Call Him Mr. Ed', including the gratuitous use of the word "up", Ed's cardboard elevator, and Edd and Eddy's reactions to espresso:
Edd: Well that was an upturn for the worse. Eddy: I almost upchucked!
The bit where Ed carries something into the homemade elevator cartoon-style with one of him at each end and the part where he runs into the invisible barrier Double D set up before! Cartoon logic at it's best, folks!
Edd: Ed... Not that you'd understand the geometry involved in such an endeavor, but... That isn't how you go "through" a maze! Ed: Hang on, Double-D, I'll think of something.
In "Cry Ed", Eddy tries to injure himself to get the kids to worry about him and not Jimmy. To do so, he prompts Edd to punch him, but Edd refuses to do so. Eddy taunts Edd for being chicken. Ed looks at this exchange with confusion, then smiles with an idea before walking off. Later, a shadow casts over Eddy and Edd, which prompts this little dialogue:
Ed: (Holding a house over them) Here, Eddy! Lots of hurt, hold the onions. Edd: (Completely and rationally freaks out) OKAY FINE I'M A CHICKEN! (quickly runs away) Eddy: (dumbfounded) Um... Ed? (Ed drops the house on Eddy) Edd:ED! What in heaven's name were you thinking?! Ed: (proudly) Absolutely nothing, Double D.
The bit in "Quick Shot Ed" where Rolf fell into his own sausage machine and got turned into a giant hot dog, which prompts him to freak out, going, "I am a wiener!"
From "Laugh, Ed, Laugh", Eddy using Ed as a shovel while Ed gleefully chants "Dig a hole, dig a hole, dig a hole..."
The entire episode qualifies, from Eddy going nuts, to Ed's explanation on why the kids weren't outside....
Ed: The kids entered a wormhole and were spewed into a alternate universe! Simple. Eddy:You're simple.
Double-D locks Eddy in a shed, and tells Ed to hide the key "discretely." Ed promptly places the key between two slices of bread and begins chewing on it. Then Eddy gets back to normal and finds they're locked in the shed:
Eddy: Where's the stupid key? Ed: (happily) I ate it! Discretely.
"Jonny, you dropped your face. I'll get you a new one!"
"HAM AND EGGS WITH BUTTERED TOAST!!!" (bites off a piece of fence)
Eddy tries to impress someone without going crazy.
Eddy: Guys, wait!! Um.... *Wraps tongue around his head like a turban*
Ed: Aw, c'mon, Eddy, we've seen that before! Now you're boring us!
"I AM ED! CHEESE AND MACARONI!"
"Eddy can be the world's shortest elephant!"
"I smell my fingers after I eat cheese!" (cue a 'WTF' expression from Eddy and his brother)
In "Tag Yer Ed" when the Eds are about to pour milk into their bowl of Chunky Puffs:
Eddy: I love Chunky Puffs! (slab of expired milk falls out of the carton into the bowl) Eddy: I hate chunky milk.
The Kankers want to fight their "boyfriends":
Lee: Ha! I say we wrestle you! May and Marie are great at purple nurples!
Eddy: YOU'RE ON, KANKERS!
Ed: What's a purple nurple?
Edd: I think it has something to do with a strudel filling.
The very fact that Ed could get rid of the Kanker Sisters at any time, if he weren't bound by one rule:
Eddy: Give 'em the burrhead bump, Ed!
Ed: *Walks over with all three Kankers grabbing on to him, trying to beat him up* I can't, Eddy! My mom says I can't fight girls.
Eddy: Ed, gimme a hand! (Ed gives him Double D's hand, starts snickering) Ed: Found one! Double D: (deadpan) This joke is older than my Mesozoic fossil collection, Ed. Ed: Whoops, there it goes! (spring sound) Yup, my brain stopped.
The Kankers sunbathing:
May: Hey Marie, can you flip me over, I'm getting crispy. (Marie ignores her) MARIE, FLIP ME OVER, I'M GETTING CRISPY! (she still ignores her)MARIE!! Lee: Shut up, May! (Literally flips May over, chair and all)
In the first scene of the episode, Eddy crashes Rolf's tractor into a house. Ed tells him he's "seen better" and proceeds to criticize the way he crashed it.
Ed: Look, the tractor is still intact, you could have done a lot more with the tree, and you hardly wrecked Kevin's fence. And the steering wheel should be rammed over your head, like so! (easily rams the steering wheel through his head)
Ed: I am a whale, Eddy, an endangered mammal! Hug me.
In "To Sir with Ed":
Eddy: My brother told me that chicks are only wowed by one thing: cash!
Edd: That's so superficial, Eddy! Females admire more meaningful things. Like sincerity, respect, and good grooming.
Ed: And potato chips!
Eddy: We, the Eds, are smarter than-
Eddy: Um, no, Ed.
Ed: Buttered Toast?
Edd: Oh, boy...
Ed:A bus driver??
Everything from "Who, What, Where, Ed", in which the Eds are forced to make a bunch of trades just to get an egg.
Jonny had clams that the boys needed, in which he gives this line.
Jonny: Listen to the clams gurgle in the bucket, Plank.
Eddy: Clams?! What's with clams? *rings a doorbell* Could you spare some clams?
Edd: *Ringing another doorbell* Pardon me; you wouldn't happen to have any clams, would you?
Eddy: *At another house* Say, you haven't seen any clams around here, have you?
Edd: *At yet another house* Could we borrow a cup of...clams?
Ed: *At final house* Can Eddy come out and play?
Eddy: I'm right beside you, Ed.
Ed: Hi, Eddy!
Jonny wanted an anchor. Of all places, the Eds think to go to the Kankers' trailer, disguised as a really tall man with a mustache and a pimp hat. (Actually just the Eds on each other's shoulders covered in a trench coat, with Eddy on top.)
Eddy: Greetings, ladies. Um, we're doing a survey, and-
Edd: *From underneath the coat* Eddy!
Eddy: Oh, uh, ahem *makes voice deeper* I mean, I'm doing a survey, and-
Lee: Our mom's not home!
Marie: Yeah, so take a hike! *Kankers laugh like hyenas*
Eddy: I was wondering: How many anchors do you own? *Big nervous grin*
May: That's stupid!
Lee: You look familiar, mister!
Eddy: *Lee's interjection caused Ed to walk back and laugh* *Grunts* Stop it, will ya?
May: You've been on an infomercial?
Eddy: Um, no-yes! Quite famous, actually. Want my autograph?
Ed: *pops out of costume* I'm the legs!
Edd: *Costume is ruined* Oh my, exposed!
Marie: It's our boyfriends!!
Lee: *Dreamily* Eddy's such a weasel...
Marie: Group hug! *Lips turn giant as she puckers up*
May: Let's kiss 'em!
Ed: Oh no, not me!! *Runs off, while the Kankers all land, while trying to kiss their boyfriends, on their airbag lips.*
From "Three Squares and an Ed", in which Eddy tries to get Ed out to freedom.
Eddy: Now all we have to do is go up the- *stairs aren't there* What happened to the stairs?!
Ed: My parents took 'em down because I am grounded!
"One Plus One Equals Ed." The whole episode; the Eds take a venture into learning about the mysteries of the world, before things start to slowly unravel.
For a specific moment, Eddy plucking Sarah's mouth clean off her face before she bites him on the ear.
Eddy: Get her off, Double D! Edd: (happily writing notes down) Not a chance!
Eddy stripping Jimmy of his outline before fashioning it into a hairdo, all as the now-liquid Jimmy slowly slips into a drain... and then into a pitcher.
Eddy stumbling around and accidently finds himself behind the houses seen in the background, like he walked behind a background prop.
Eddy: Einstein's got nothing on this!
Before all the madness, there's the Eds rummaging through Ed's garage:
Eddy: (slipping a bra out of a drawer) Woo-hoo, PG-13! Ed: Um...that's my mom's, Eddy! (Eddy drops the bra and gags)
Ed playing around with the spinner from a washing machine.
Ed: Whats this, Double D?
Edd: Spin it, and learn!
Ed *spins it, but his tongue is caught on the spinner and pulls his entire face around it* It's a face scruncher! Cool!
The crown jewel in Jonny's repertoire of annoyance from "Shoo Ed": cracking his joints to make a sickening crunch sound. Which then bites the Eds at the end of the episode, with them being trapped in a cage as Jonny cracks his joints to extort the Eds into him letting them go.
Edd: EDDY, GIVE HIM THE QUARTER!
"Rambling Ed" has the scene where Eddy convinces Ed to move out by asking him of he does and forcibly moves Ed's lips and imitates him to get a fake answer. Ed then proceeds to do the same thing with Eddy as the puppet.
Eddy:(as Ed) I like it, Eddy. I have one eyebrow and the brain of a bug.
Edd: Going out on one's own requires planning, Eddy. There's so much work involved in—
Ed:(as Eddy) Relax, Double-D. I'll help him pack.
The golden Bizarro moment when Johnny learns of all the trouble Eddy is causing, while being stuck to the tree, from Plank. Eddy gapes a moment before covering Plank's mouth then sneaking off.
"Run For Your Ed" gives us a handful of hilarious moments:
Kevin's completely deadpan reaction to finding a slumbering Ed in his now-empty refrigerator:
Kevin: (Opening the fridge door to show Edd and Eddy) I believe this belongs to you?
Followed immediately by Eddy deciding to use an air horn to wake Ed up, and the big guy's rambling upon waking up.
Ed: Private Do-Not-Enter is ready for duty, chief! (Salutes and whacks himself in the head with the ship-in-a-bottle now stuck on his finger)
The Eds' attempts to get the aforementioned ship-in-a-bottle off Ed's finger, including soap (which doesn't end well thanks to Ed's irrational fear of the "disgusting detergent of the deep") and sticky tape.
While that's going on, the Kankers are trying to find the ship-in-a-bottle themselves. Mass chaos ensues.
Jimmy: I'm scarred for life!
When the Kankers finally track the bottle to the Eds, Double-D stares at them blankly for a moment, looks back at Ed and Eddy in the other room as they try to remove it, then back to the Kankers. Without saying a word, he calmly closes the door on the Kankers, locks it for good measure...and then:
Edd: (Screaming as he runs into the next room) OH, DEAR LORD! THAT SHIP-IN-A-BOTTLE BELONGS TO THE KANKERS!!