- Basically anything the Lemony Narrator says.
- The cow. Just, the cow.
- Or anytime Jim goes into Large Ham mode. Which would be about 90% of the time.
"''Eat dirt, everyone in the vicinity!! AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAH!!"
- At the beginning of "Conqueror Worm", Jim and Peter are hanging at the Terlawk Mall with The Mighty Hamstinator. However, Hamsty can't get over his habit of stuffing random things in his cheeks, leading to this line...
Jim: Hamsty! Get that cheese hostess out of your mouth! You don't know where she's been! Ishy! Ishy!
- As Jim, Peter and Snot have to retrieve the suit.
Narrator: ...But how can our heroes ever hope to get past the sinister guards?
(Jim, Peter and Snot calmly stroll by)
Peter: Evenin', guys!
Guard 1: Evenin'. (beat) Did a giant worm, a talking dog and a smiling booger just go by?
Guard 2: Yep.
Guard 1: (picking up the phone) Hello, DNA lab? Whatever you guys are doin' in there, CUT IT OUT!
- The Enchanted Snail Petting Zoo.
Jim: I think they like you, Peter.
Peter: THEY'RE DEVOURING MY FLESH!!
Jim: [laughing] Well, that just proves it.
- Jim's fruitless attempts to eat a nut log, including boiling it in hot water, running it over with a motorcycle, shooting it repeatedly with his gun, and eventually using it to shatter an unbreakable crystal scepter.
Peter: I don't think that's meant to be eaten, Jim. I think that's meant to anchor ships during storms.
- At the beginning of the Christmas Episode, Jim gives Queen Slug-For-A-Butt a present.
Queen: For me? You shouldn't have. (She opens the box which blows up) You gave me that LAST YEAR!
- When asked who kidnapped Santa, a reindeer who is totally not Rudolph describes the culprit as being a disgusting insect with a butt the size of a Macy's parade float. It turns out to be Queen Slug-for-a-butt, but Jim's first guess is Rush Limbaugh.
- In the beginning, Princess questions who Santa Claus is and what gives him the right to judge who had been naughty or nice. At the climax we get this.
In my wilder years I was know by another name. (voice suddenly echoes) WODEN! NORSE GOD OF JUDGEMENT! MAY THE NAUGHTY TREMBLE! He proceeds to lay a massive beatdown on Queen Slug-for-a-butt Jim:
Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. And he. Kicks. Butt!
- At the start of a Running Gag, Jim and Peter are at the International House of Haggis:
Peter: (eating) Hey, this haggis stuff is great! How come no one ever comes here?
Jim: (deadpan) Because haggis is made from the heart, lungs and liver of a sheep, boiled in its own stomach.
- After replacing Jim's suit with a weak replica.
Jim: Leaping out of the way...isn't as easy as it used to be.
Professor Monkey-For-A-Head: That's because you now have only the strength of an ordinary person!
(Jim tackles him)
Professor Monkey-For-A-Head: (wincing from offscreen) Correction...an ordinary...really big person...
- Earlier, The Professor explains why he can't make a second suit:
Professor: Monkey-For-A-Head: Well, I could, but the suit's power comes from the Battery of the Gods, and I only had one. I tried to get another, and the gods turned me into a breadmaker.
Psy-Crow: Pfft! You're not a breadmaker!
Professor Monkey-For-A-Head: Oh yeah? Check it out! (strains, a bell goes off and he pulls a loaf of bread from his coat) Actually, it's kinda handy. If I twist the monkey's tail, I can make pumpernickel.
(Cut to a shot of Psy-Crow's REALLY weirded out face)
- The Planet of Easily Frightened People.
Ahhhh, a bug! Ahhhh, air!
Ahhhh, something green! Ahhhh, something not green!
- Behold!, perhaps the most random thing to ever be shown on this show!... and considering this show that's saying something.