'Cause you've been targeted for destruction by Dis Raps For Hire!
Dis Raps For Hire is a YouTube series, made by EpicLLOYD, who is likely best known as one of the creators of the Epic Rap Battles of History. In this series, Lloyd reads user comments about a Jerk Ass someone knows and what they've been doing. He then creates a dis rap for the Jerk Ass in question, calling them out for everything they've done.
The raps can be found on EpicLLOYD's channel here.
- For aysharpietwintip13, dissing his older brother Charlie
- For klojuey671, dissing her school's rival Southwest High
- For Zenxtro, dissing an annoying kid at his school named Christian
- For djvapid, dissing his cheating wife Jennifer (and her unnamed new boyfriend)
- For hexwitch, dissing a bully named Justin
- For Simon, dissing his lazy twin brother James
- For dagimmpy1, dissing a trio of bullies named Tyrance, William, and Reshad
- For mville23113, dissing his boss Daniel
- For thegreenskeletor, dissing his trailer park manager Joan.
- For Leon Crosby, making a gift rap for his mother Metcalf.
- For BliinD21, named Glasscock, dissing everyone who makes fun of his last name.
- For Nick - or, technically, for his younger cousin Derrik - dissing the latter's ex-friends Jason and Ramono, who bullied him for being gay.
- For Jonas, dissing four bullies who pick on him for being dyslexic. (featuring guest rapper Zach Sherwin)
- For EthanAlways, dissing an cyber bully named Ethan, who teased and harassed him just because they share first names.
- For DiggyDiggyBros, dissing a 16 year old kid (who is still in 8th grade) named Diamond, who bullies his little sister who is diagnosed with Rett Syndrome.
- For Cade Robert, dissing Jerome, who bullies Cade's 7th grader sister Sadie.
- For 8th grader burnflame12 and his girlfriend Jillian, dissing Jillian's friends Katrina and Cheyenne for humiliating her, ditching her, and turning all of her friends against her.
- For Ilayda, dissing "this guy" who makes fun of her for being Muslim. (featuring guest rapper Nice Peter)
- For Drew, dissing his best friend's Bastard Boyfriend.
- Another gift rap for Brandon.
This series provides examples of the following tropes:
- Accidental Murder: Lloyd, in his anger, tries to shoot a heckler with laser eyes in episode 5. He ends up shooting the heckler's girlfriend instead. Even the music stops as he realizes this. He shoots the heckler the second time, though.
- Aerith and Bob: Episode 7 has Lloyd dissing three bullies named William, Tyrance, and Reshad. Lloyd naturally takes this opportunity to have some fun, saying that he just isn't intimidating with a name like that.Lloyd: Like, "Oh my God, it's Reshad; what do we do?"
- Also, throughout the series; comparing the names of the commentors and the names of the bullies usually results in this, due to usernames being used for the former. The only real exception is episode 6, with Simon.
- Audience Participation: The dis raps are based off of commentor's true stories.
Lloyd: I'd sacrifice a slice of brain to give you a piece of my mind
- A variation as well; Lloyd always says the username of the commentor in his rap, and in episode 4, even slightly involves the commentor (djvapid, a combat medic) in his threat:
Plus djvapid'd patch me up again and I would be fine...
- Ax-Crazy: Lloyd has hints of this, especially in episode 5. See the quote under Call-Back below for a good instance.
- Badass Boast: Episode 10 is partly this, although speaking about Momma Metcalf rather than himself:Lloyd: She's like a four-foot-nine little version of Bane!
- Bad Boss: Daniel in episode 8.
- Bastard Boyfriend: Cory in Season 2 Episode 9.
- Bald of Awesome: Lloyd has this, though almost always wears a hat over it.
Lloyd: I mean, I'd feel really bad for you if you weren't such a prick. But since you are,...fuck you then! (resumes rap)
- Bald of Evil: Downplayed (at least on the "evil" part) with Reshad in episode 7, who is stated to be bald despite only being 19. Lloyd stops his rap partway through to speak normally to Reshad for a moment.
- Beware the Nice Ones: Lloyd is shown at the start of each video doing something usually heartwarming until he hears the story. Then he gets pissed.
- Big Brother Bully: Charlie in the debut episode.
- Boastful Rap: William in episode 7 apparently considers himself to be the greatest rapper of all time, yet he cries when he gets a paper cut.
- Call-Back: Of a sort. Some of Lloyd's lyrics are quoted straight from the commented story or put a spin on them, and said comment is always shown before the actual rap starts. Here's a good example from episode 5:Piece from original comment: The list of vulgarities and threats is literally over a mile long. note(later, during the rap)Lloyd: Make a path of blood and bones, smile walking home, leaving a trail of your body literally over a mile long!
- In the Season 1 Episode 3 opener, Lloyd is seen reading a book to a child, then throws the same kid away. The opener for Season 2 Episode 6 has Lloyd doing exactly that, right down to reading the same book.
- Continuity Nod: In the Cold Open of episode 5, Lloyd's comedy act includes a bit where he mentions how someone told him his name was weird for having two Ls in it. This is likely a reference to a previous rap of Lloyd's, "L Verse", where a friend of his told him the same thing.
- Country Matters: So far, he has said the c-word on two different occasions, though the second time was a reference to the commentor's actual choice of words in their story.
- Cut His Heart Out with a Spoon: Comedic death threats are usually Once an Episode.
- Doing It for the Art: Lloyd actually gets a mistletoe tattoo on his back for episode three to get his point across. It Makes Sense in Context.
- Early Installment Weirdness: The first dis rap was a lot slower than future ones and didn't have nearly as many instances of Fun with Subtitles. Somewhat more subtley, the camera also moves around a bit rather than being stationary like in other episodes, and the lyrics that show up on screen were sometimes wrong.Lloyd: That's your brother man! Why do you have to be such a big jerk?Onscreen lyrics: That's your brother man! Why did have to be such a big jerk?
- Exactly What It Says on the Tin: It's about dis raps...for hire.
- Hidden Depths: In episode five, Lloyd is shown performing at a comedy club.
- Hostile Show Takeover: In episode 6, one of Lloyd's clones pushes over the original and raps in his place.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Lloyd seems to fit this; despite the dickish things he does in anger while trying to get to his studio to record, he does it for his viewers to get the bullies to lay off.
- Kick the Dog: Does this literally in episode two in rage.
- Lazy Bum: James, in episode six.
- Lucky Seven: Lampshaded, but inverted in episode 7:Lloyd: It's Dis Raps seven, your unlucky number!
- Mood Whiplash: See Beware the Nice Ones above.
- Motor Mouth: Beginning of the fifth one, leading to Even the Subtitler Is Stumped.
- Precision F-Strike: Unseen in the first two dis raps, but he's made use of this trope since then."What are you thinking? This story is crazy! I wanna stop rhyming and just be like 'What the fuck, lady?!'"
- Product Displacement: Very, very difficult to spot; in the Cold Open of episode five, look at the heckler's drink. During the close-ups of him and his girlfriend, the drink's logo is blurred out. It's especially hard to spot thanks to the room's dim lightning and the audience likely being focused on watching him and the girl rather than his drink.
- Though, if you look carefully enough, you can kind of see the logo when the table is shown from other angles.
- Real Men Wear Pink: At the start of most episodes, he is shown doing something sweet, like reading to a little kid. Then, When he reads the story, he then throws the same kid to the ground.
- Taken literally in the opening of Episode 4, where Lloyd is knitting a pink sweater.
- Inverted in episode 10. In the opening, Lloyd beats up Santa Claus with a candy cane for no obvious reason, then instead of a dis rap, he does a complimenting "gift rap" as a Christmas special.
- Red Eyes, Take Warning: In episode 5, his eyes glow red when he reads the story. His eyes also flash red for a split second about halfway through the actual rap.
- Rule of Three: Episode 7 has Lloyd dis rapping three bullies: Tyrance, Reshad, and William.
- Running Gag: Throughout episode 7, whenever Lloyd says Reshad's name (except the first time when naming all three bullies), it's spelled in the onscreen lyrics in a fancy girlish font.
- Sequel Escalation: Lloyd's violent acts in the Cold Open. In the first episode, he just downs a cup of coffee and rips up some paper. By episode five, he has taken to shooting people with lasers. (Though the first one was an accident and the second was to a heckler.)
- Episode 6 isn't much better. Some guy is bullying Lloyd for drinking a juice box (With the story written on the label) And he splits into 2 people, who hold him down and drink him with a giant straw.
- Subverted with episode 7, where all he does is kick someone in the face. Though he does it with robot legs...and then subverted further in episode 8, where all he does is snap a pencil in half. After several failed attempts. And episode 9, where he just leaves the chess game.
- Season 2, Episode 7: "I write dis raps like I cash paychecks! Very.....very.....slowly."
- Season 2, Episode 8: "Their hatred's so old, been around longer than it takes Lloyd to write new episodes!"
- Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness: In episode 3 of season 2, while defending a kid who's being made fun of for being dyslexic."Ungodly large words, huh? You're a laugh to me.""You patently lack an accurate perspicacity.""See, you'll just foment a massive wrath in me.""Instigating altercations such as these is of dubious sagacity."
- Stealth Pun: Lloyd says "Where there's a will, there's a way" in episode 7 while dissing a guy named William.
- Take This Job and Shove It: Said word for word in Episode 8, which is also the message rapped to the employer.
- This Is for Emphasis, Bitch!: Quite often, occasionally just to make a rhyme:"I'm getting reckless, for Hexwitch, for every single threat, bitch!"
- Title Drop: Once an Episode, might be shortened to "Dis Raps"
- To the Pain: Frequently makes fairly detailed and violent threats.
- Visual Pun: As Fun with Subtitles
- What the Hell, Hero?: The basic premise.
- Would Dis Rap A Girl: Episode 4 is targeted at a cheating wife.
- Episode 2 may also count as this, being targeted at an entire school (which is possibly an all-girl school, given the context).
- Yank the Dog's Chain: Episode seven starts off mainly focusing on Tyrance and Reshad, but in the last little bit Lloyd turns his attention to William. Lampshaded.Lloyd: Yeah, I haven't forgot!
- Your Mom: Subverted with episode 10, which is a tribute to a writer's awesome mom.
- So when you get asked why your rich boy hair's outta place,
Say you caught a dis raps bitch slap, square in the face!