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Diamond’s Cut is a James Bond fan film, made in Australia in late 2011. The plot of the hour-long film has 007 going to the Land Down Under to solve the mystery of the recent assassination of M. The film features a cast mostly in their late teens, even for the role of Q, (unintentionally preceding the canonical young Q in Skyfall.), a budget seemingly measured in single digits and intentional So Bad, It's Good quality invoked in order to compensate. It can be watched here.

In late 2012, a sequel, called Property of a Lady, was released. Unlike the traditional Bond films, it directly draws upon the story of the first, and has the director himself act as the new M. It also has better directed action scenes and a budget sufficiently increased to afford proper cars for the chase scenes. The link is here

    Tropes in Diamond's Cut

  • Arms Dealer: Two of these act as secondary villains in the movie. Even though they sell firearms, they apparently aren’t trained and didn’t even bother to bring any guns the first time Bond encounters them. One eventually gets throttled to death with a fallen branch, but the other survives by being too late to arrive to a fight, thus setting up a potential sequel.)
  • Bang, Bang, BANG: Averted. Guns fire pretty quietly in the film, assuming, of course, that they fire at all.
  • Bloodless Carnage: Virtually any fight is this because of the budget limitations, but this is especially prominent during M’s death - not only is no blood visible as the camera lingers over his body, but the window remains absolutely undamaged when it should by rights have been broken by the sniper’s bullet.
  • Bond Villain Stupidity: It’s a Bond fan film, so of course it would be in there.
  • Deliberately Monochrome: The credits scene, which makes it look cool in spite of the budget limitations.
  • Drowning My Sorrows: Done soon after M's assassination as Bond is grieving his death.
  • Face–Heel Turn: An Australian MI6 agent and Bond’s supposed informant.
  • Hammerspace: The Terrorist sniper at the beginning of London scene uses a laser sight. Try as hard as you might, there is no way you’re going to find it on his rifle, probably because the actual effect was obtained through the use of a laser pointer.
  • Hand Wave: The reason for the Big Bad M seems to be this: apparently stealing oil from other companies and passing off as your own totally warrants sending one of your agents to England to assassinate the head of British Secret Service.
    • Justified and expanded upon in the sequel, where it's revealed that the first Big Bad was just a pawn of the new M, who arranged the assassination to get the top job himself.
    • Also, how does Q know to send Bond straight to Adelaide city in Australia, which is conveniently where the film took place? Simple; he looked at the bullet and found a special indentation only used by the two arms dealers in that place!
  • Heel–Face Turn: Lara Brooks. As an employee of a traitorous MI6 agent, she was originally going along with his plan, but eventually rescued Bond from allegedly certain death.
  • Hollywood Darkness: Somewhat averted; it is genuinely dark when 007 switches off the lights to take the terrorists in the opening scene by surprise. The resultant combat is therefore mostly shown through the security camera feed.
  • Instant Death Bullet: Pretty much the way every gun works in that film, with the exception of the double-crossing informant, who was wounded in the leg by Bond before finally being shot to death.
  • Improvised Weapon: Somewhat overlaps with environmental kills, as 007 kills two final villains with sticks lying around: the arms dealer gets throttled with a fallen tree limb, while final villain gets stabbed through the stomach with a branch.
    • Also, the chase scene at the supermarket earlier. The second arms dealer is running away and Bond would need a car to catch up, but he doesn’t have one. So what does he do? He picks up a shopping trolley and rides it downwards to catch up while staring directly at the camera as the Bond music is played out loud. This is very much Played for Laughs.
    • Terrorists throwing empty boxes at Bond, which he catches and throws back even as they both have guns.
  • Law of Inverse Recoil: Seems to be present, although guns are fired too rarely to be really sure. One could consider the arms dealer missing Bond with his pistol at point-blank range as either an aversion of this or plain Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy at work.
  • Laser Sight: Used by the terrorist sniper in spite of his weapon already possessing the optical sights on it. It only seems to be there to add drama to M’s death.
  • Let's Split Up, Gang!: The main villain inexplicably does this with his henchmen twice, even though all of them carry guns and would have easily been able to gun down Bond as he first appears at point-blank range.
  • Non-Indicative Title: As one comment on YouTube points out, the whole film has nothing to do with diamonds. This was fixed in the sequel: see Title Drop below.
  • Remembered Too Late: The second Arms Dealer. Apparently, he only survives because of that.
  • Styrofoam Rocks: The boxes thrown between Bond and terrorists are obviously empty and wouldn’t hurt anyone, especially when both Bond and terrorists have guns.
  • Why Don't Ya Just Shoot Him?: The viewer might be tempted to swear at their screen, as in most engagements both parties are carrying guns and have numerous opportunities to use them, yet ignore them to stretch out the fight and pad out the running time.
    • And like any canon Bond villain, the antagonist of this piece will also leave 007 alone instead of just shooting him.

    Tropes in Property of a Lady

  • Actionized Sequel: This film has a somewhat greater proportion of action scenes then Diamond's Cut. More importantly, those scenes have all improved relative to the original.
  • Armor-Piercing Question: When M gives his lecture about their duty to the crown, he says that they eventually become property of the lady and stay that way unless they get stolen. Bond takes this time to ask: “Sir, were you stolen?”
  • The Bad Guy Wins: The film ends with Bond captured, his girlfriend shot and in hospital and the new M turning traitor without anyone aware of it. Of course, this would no longer be the case if a Threequel is produced.
  • Batter Up!: The Dragon to the new M and the leader of his mooks gets a bat as he's preparing to interrogate Bond.
  • Car Chase: Two of them, one where Bond uses a stolen car, and another where he follows on a motorcycle. For real-world reasons, both occur well within the speed limit.
  • Distaff Counterpart: Bond’s primary motivation in the first film had been revenge for M’s death. Here, he’s ambushed by the mistress of the villain he killed in the first film for no reason other than revenge.
  • Even Evil Has Loved Ones: Bond is ambushed at night by the partner of the villain he killed in the first film. There’s even a video confession of her crying and wanting to avenge his death.
  • Flashback: One occurs in the middle of the film as Bond is left alone and remembers the old M before he was killed.
  • Forgotten Fallen Friend: Averted with M: after his death, Bond grieves for him and considers his mission to be that of revenge. This isn’t forgotten in the second film, either.
  • Jack Bauer Interrogation Technique: Averted when the new M interrogated the two mooks captured by Bond. Instead of torturing them, he simply shoots one dead to let the other know that he's serious.
  • Just a Flesh Wound: One of the minor villains is shot in the leg, and not only doesn’t bleed out, but manages to walk about 15 minutes later in the film.
  • Nice Job Fixing It, Villain: In one fight scene, a tough shades-wearing villain overpowers Bond and begins choking the life out of him. He would have succeeded if it wasn’t for his back-up arriving in another car. The sound of the approach distracted him and allowed Bond to break free.
  • Sinister Shades: One of the tough unnamed villains sports them. True to form, he manages to get the edge on Bond in a fight scene for a while.
  • Targeted to Hurt the Hero: Happens to Bond’s girlfriend as she is specifically targeted to have an effect on Bond. However, Bond is wise enough to call an ambulance and it’s implied she survives.
  • Tempting Fate: One of the captured mooks refuses to talk, saying that they will be released from prison in a few years’ time on minor charges, and so have no reason to cooperate. Cue M deciding things require a more radical approach.
  • Title Drop: This line by the new M: “When we give it all to the service, we become property of the lady.”
  • You Can't Thwart Stage One: Subverted, since it's technically stage 2 for the new M, who has used assassination in the first film to get the job himself.