Oh, and for the record, there was an episode of Happy Days
where a guy literally
jumped over a shark, and it was the best
Now last week Steve
used his transformation machine to turn Carl into a car and drive him around the Monaco Grand Prix! Come on! How many times are we going to use this 'transformation machine'? This was supposed to be a blue-collar Cosby Show
! Now you're turning it into goddamn Quantum Leap
So in the last film
, Spock accurately calculated time travel space-vector calculations on a rusty Klingon Bird of Prey which was running on half-assed dilithium crystals recharged from nuclear waste. This ship was also carrying an extra person and a tank of water with two humpback whales. But here he can't seem to figure out that his rocket boots probably can't hold the weight of three people.
Now, I know this scene is supposed to be fun. But it's sorta like stupid
fun. Like it should be in a Naked Gun
movie or somethin'.
Now, the first Saint's Row
game was comparatively straight. It wasn't exactly Homicide: Life on the Street
, but you weren't going to climb on board any rocket-powered jet-bikes either...Saints Row: The Third
drinks wackazade from a clown shoe. This is a trilogy progression we academics call 'Evil Dead
Syndrome' and I'm not sure I like it.
Welp, I officially dont understand whats going on in this Dick Tracy
storyline, but at least its still dishing out the quotables. "Dr. Sail made me an accessory to fraud! Ill never get back to the moon!"
Ha ha, thats a tough spot that we can all relate to
These shows didn't 'jump the shark'. That doesn't do them justice. No, these are shows where the creators simply said, 'Fuck it', flew out of the water, broke the bounds of the earth's atmosphere and set a course for the center of the Sun. They took their shows down in a blaze of batshit insane glory, and we were there to watch.
As for his legendary feats of "cool," which can encompass anything from starting the jukebox at Arnold's with a rap of his hand, to ordering any woman to pick him up at 8, they become increasingly outlandish this season, with an almost supernatural bent that ups the humor level significantly (in Three on a Porch
, Fonzie, annoyed by the sounds of nature out in the woods, yells, "Cool it!" with the offending creature noises immediately silenced.)
Fallon is summoned into the UFO by aliens and after she walks inside, it flies away into the sky. Now THAT is how a series finale is done. If J.J. Abrams ended Lost
like that, he wouldve gotten loads and loads of praise for paying tribute to a true masterpiece that was snuffed out before its time.
no longer marks the elevation of the sitcom formula to its highest form. Episodes that once would have ended with Homer and Marge bicycling into the sunset (perhaps while Bart gagged in the background) now end with Homer blowing a tranquilizer dart into Marge's neck.
"Many of the fans who focus on the Mulder-Scully romance— who later gravitated towards (non-paranormal) dramedies like Bones and Castle instead of hard-hitting dramas or grim sci-fi — often cite Season Six as their favorite, since it often threatened to morph into a bigger-budget version of Buffy the Vampire Slayer; comedic, romantic, unthreatening, uncomplicated escapism...In many ways
The X-Files mirrored the carefree, "at the beach" mood on the late 90s in much the same way that it did in the grim early 90s."
What were they on writing this? You got to imagine some poor Admiral in Starfleet reading up this adventure in befuddlement once they get back to the Alpha Quadrant: "And then there was this metal bird waiting for us at the top of the hill
But here we discover, to our inexpressible joy, that Doctor Who
isn't the type of show that jumps the shark. Instead, it hitches it with reins and takes it for a sleigh-ride.
: I mean, this is the guy who directed A Hard Day's Night
. Youve got to expect some degree of chicanery. Chris
: Chicanery really does sum up about 90% of this movie. David
: Superman III: Shenanigans!
: The character began as such an iconic karate-chopping, panty-dropping death machine that we hardly noticed when the people making his movies lost their minds. James Bond
: You're talking about the time they used a fake third nipple
as the entirety of my disguise, aren't you?
Im waiting for the scene with the Bond-shark repellent
. Everything about the movie feels far too comfortable for its own good — almost smug. Its as if, having produced two solid films, the crew dont need to try anymore.
So Bond picks up a beaker full of an unknown liquid, and tosses the contents into the guys face. The guy groans and clutches at his face, and collapses to the ground. He then keels over face first, apparently dead. Bond looks at the beaker in his hand, and... Well, this is pretty dumb. Even for a franchise full of dumb jokes, this ones way down there.
It would appear Bond has picked up his own urine sample.
Which was just sitting out there in the open, with no kind of lid or cover. So... what was in Bonds urine that made that guys face burn? Does gonorrhea set in that quickly?
The game plays with typical late-NES sequel sloppiness
— graphics feel rushed, flat, and lifeless. But conceptually speaking, the game is completely nuts, involving running around the world collecting Rosetta Stones
, of which there are apparently several now, so that they can eventually fight Cleopatra
. Sadly, the plot was sanitized for (American)
release, not in the sense of censorship but in the sense of adding sanity.
I mean, I know that Aperture's always been full of insane scientists and that's part of the charm, but they've implied that there once existed in the Half-Life
universe a race of "mantis-men"...We get details of so many random, crazy experiments that I cease to be surprised by any of it.
Strangely, having a gun that can bend space by creating portals is more believable than scientists turning someone's blood into peanut water.
Despite being a series of meta games, no other Metal Gear
has come this close to total absurdity. Snake actually turns on cheat modes
right in front of you, and the game just rolls with it!
The whole franchise
is weird. I've seen all of them, and they...they don't go in chronological order; they've radically reinvented the series about four times, then retconned them all to be connected; it's got, like, fifty different characters, they kill off a bunch of them at random, and they bring some of them back, but they have amnesia. It took superhero comics fifty years to reach this level of convolutedness!
Like the baldy shut-in from the movie Powder
, rather than killing him, the lightning imbues Screech with miraculous powers... One bonus from all this is that Dustin Diamond's habit of silently mouthing the other character's lines as they're performed can now be played off as part of Screech's seer abilities
, and not just bad acting.
The last Nitro
of 1999 was quite fitting, as the man
who told the New York Times
that he began and ended every conversation with the word "logic" wrote an angle in which Sid
was locked in a car, then Bret
ran it over with a monster truck. Not only did Sid survive, he was back the following week