open/close all folders
Anime and Manga
"I see... I think left and it comes from the right, I think up and it comes from below. Your movements defraud the opponent's assumptions, and you turn what seems like a bad attack into a brilliant strategy."
"If Nekoma's a team that'll analyze an opponent six ways from Sunday and formulate a proper counter strategy, Karasuno's the wild child that gets halfway through its analysis, says screw it and just finds some way to cram the ball back down your throat. I hate playing both of 'em."
Comic Books
Thug 1: Be careful, man. I hear Moon Knight attacks with all sorts of random bullshit.
Thug 2: Please, I got him dead to rights. Now to—
Moon Knight: [tossing out a bunch of bizarre throwing weapons] Random bullshit GO!!!!
Thug 2: Please, I got him dead to rights. Now to—
Moon Knight: [tossing out a bunch of bizarre throwing weapons] Random bullshit GO!!!!
Film — Live-Action
Jacob: How do you confuse a guy that can see the future?
Yusuf: Countersight.
Newt: Exactly. The best plan being no plan.
Lally: Or many overlapping plans.
Newt: Thus, confusion.
Yusuf: Countersight.
Newt: Exactly. The best plan being no plan.
Lally: Or many overlapping plans.
Newt: Thus, confusion.
"It's the art of confusion! Works on stupid people."
— Katy Chen explaining why she sang "Hotel California" at a bully, Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings
Literature
"Find out what people expect and then do as close to the opposite as your conscience and the laws of physics will allow. Gets 'em every time."
— Frances Brown, InCryptid: That Ain't Witchcraft
"I wish they were more predictable? Stellos did the same thing the same way every time. The Savage Stars had a code of honor. Lanessa was... is, enough of a megalomaniac that Auggie could pretty accurately guess what she was going to do towards the end. [...] Whereas the Anras have a set of rules they follow, until they don't. They have a standard method of doing things, until they don't. They're fractured and easy to rattle and manipulate, until they aren't. Nothing works consistently on them, and we don't know what they're going to do next."
— June Hespia, on Vanra and Zanra, Stellar Ranger Dark Star
Live-Action TV
"We lost! And we got really messed up. We had no idea how to really fight him at first. We weren't sure what to expect."
— Jerry Clarkin, Team Captain of SubZero on BattleBots, about dealing with HUGE, a robot with a very nontraditional design
"You know, MacGyver, that's why you're so hard to beat. Nobody knows what you're going to do next. Including you."
— Murdoc, MacGyver (1985)
Otis: Ms. O, even if Ohlm will reach the Puppy Master, how will he defeat her?
Oprah: Otis, I'm not worried about that part. Ohlm is a master of confusion and distraction.
The Puppy Master: Odd Squad?! You'll never stop me! [gasps] What are you doing? Why are you washing my dishes?
Oprah: And he's completely unpredictable.
Ohlm: Lunch is ready!
Olympia: But is Ohlm even in control? Does he know what he's doing?
Oprah: No one knows. Not even him.
Oprah: Otis, I'm not worried about that part. Ohlm is a master of confusion and distraction.
The Puppy Master: Odd Squad?! You'll never stop me! [gasps] What are you doing? Why are you washing my dishes?
Oprah: And he's completely unpredictable.
Ohlm: Lunch is ready!
Olympia: But is Ohlm even in control? Does he know what he's doing?
Oprah: No one knows. Not even him.
Rebecca: (to Ted) Sure, you don't know what you're doing, but doesn't that mean that you see the game in a different way than any other football manager? And shouldn't that empower you to cause complete and utter confusion?
(Later, during a climactic match, as Ted's English Premier League club AFC Richmond runs an American football play)
Arlo White: If Richmond are trying to confuse Manchester City... you have to say it's working.
Chris Powell: It's working on me too, Arlo.
(Later, during a climactic match, as Ted's English Premier League club AFC Richmond runs an American football play)
Arlo White: If Richmond are trying to confuse Manchester City... you have to say it's working.
Chris Powell: It's working on me too, Arlo.
Radio
"A team of lambs led by a lion will always defeat a team of lions led by a lamb. But a team of donkeys led by a hyena, nobody knows."
— Guru Bob, The Coodabeen Champions
Tabletop Games
"One of the strengths of the Orc & Goblin army is the variety of troops, ranging from tiny Snotlings to vast Giants. The challenge to you as a commander is to knit this disparate force together into a coherent whole. Actually, with the general waywardness of the greenskins this is almost impossible. What you really need to do is understand your army better than your opponent, and be ready to exploit his confusion when something odd happens (as it will), such as the tiny Snotlings holding up his elite regiment for half the battle.
With the greenskins, your best plan can be simply taking as many fun units as possible and letting the rest sort itself out."
With the greenskins, your best plan can be simply taking as many fun units as possible and letting the rest sort itself out."
— Warhammer Armies: Orcs & Goblins
Video Games
"Consistency is the hobgoblin of small minds."
— Baroque! Quality Description, used for the game of Knife-and-Candle, Fallen London
"What Eris lacks in sanity, she more than makes up for in lack of sanity. Her attacks cannot be easily predicted, and she is just as likely to kick your teeth in as to buy you a pony."
— Eris character bio, The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy (2006)
Starfire: Help me understand your fighting style.
Harley Quinn: What style?
Starfire: Oh! Now I get it.
Harley Quinn: What style?
Starfire: Oh! Now I get it.
EDI: If two A.I. weapons are pitted against each other, the one with superior hardware will always win. Human misjudgments defy predictive models.
Joker: License to screw up, commander! You heard it straight from the ship!
Joker: License to screw up, commander! You heard it straight from the ship!
"He was a stubborn foe... But I'm CRAZY!! So I won."
— Leon Powalski, Star Fox Command
Webcomics
"What defense can be mounted against a foe possessed of a thousand unknown attacks?"
— Darko, 8-Bit Theater
"What trickery did you use to defeat my warrior?" demanded the king, at this point sputtering with disbelief himself. "No trickery," said the young man, who was absentmindedly toeing the ya-at's corpse.
"Then what technique? What sword art did you learn to make such a blow?" said the king.
"My technique is no technique," said the young man. "My art is no art. It was an idiot's blow."
"Ten thousand warriors have failed to defeat my gladiator," said the king, gaping. "Trained in ten thousand fighting arts from across the Wheel. How could an artless fool have defeated my prize slave?" The young man scratched his chin. "Well, not anyone can use my lack of technique. No ordinary fool could make that blow," he replied "only one extremely dedicated to foolishness."
It was immediately apparent to the king that this young man was extraordinarily powerful.
He mentioned as much.
"Powerful men, my lord, must by nature be exceptionally good fools," said the young man.
"Then what technique? What sword art did you learn to make such a blow?" said the king.
"My technique is no technique," said the young man. "My art is no art. It was an idiot's blow."
"Ten thousand warriors have failed to defeat my gladiator," said the king, gaping. "Trained in ten thousand fighting arts from across the Wheel. How could an artless fool have defeated my prize slave?" The young man scratched his chin. "Well, not anyone can use my lack of technique. No ordinary fool could make that blow," he replied "only one extremely dedicated to foolishness."
It was immediately apparent to the king that this young man was extraordinarily powerful.
He mentioned as much.
"Powerful men, my lord, must by nature be exceptionally good fools," said the young man.
MAXIM 42: "They'll never expect this" means "I want to try something stupid."
— The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries, Schlock Mercenary
Web Original
A crude translation of an Ukrainian Facebook post sheds some light on this phenomena:
>Under Kyiv is a real wild field. Just in one small forest by the village, I've counted -
>the Armed Forces, the National Security Service, the Territorial Defense Forces, police, several volunteer battalions, the Main Directorate of Intelligence, the Secret Service of Ukraine, some mysterious operators with weird AKs and random guys with weapons. All of this mess is on a constant move, engages and disengages, some arrive, some leave, and everyone, from time to time, tries to obtain more weapons from the enemies or the allies.
>There's no communication between anyone, the central command, if there is any, doesn't really command anything, coordination is impossible - if you agree to do something with someone, in a few hours you will find someone else holding their positions.
>The forest is hysterically shelled by the enemy with varying intensity and success, which causes everyone to run away, and then run back in in new configurations.
>If the enemy attempts to enter the village - they get destroyed, and then random people run under fire to gather bloodied trophies. Some steal Russian helmets, some take the photos of the dead bodies, some write combat reports.
>There were 3 Russian BTRs, a tank came out, demolished them, and rode off somewhere. Scattered infantry was mowed down from three sides by the unknown forces. Nobody could answer whose tank that was, how it appeared there, and where did it go.
>The only idea which unites everyone - is to kill Russians.
>This is Cossack land. The cold wind from the mythical forest, uncoordinated and unsupplied - where did all these people come from, how did they arm themselves and where do they go, they have no idea.
>Not a single military academy in the world can make you prepared for that.
>Welcome to hell.
>Under Kyiv is a real wild field. Just in one small forest by the village, I've counted -
>the Armed Forces, the National Security Service, the Territorial Defense Forces, police, several volunteer battalions, the Main Directorate of Intelligence, the Secret Service of Ukraine, some mysterious operators with weird AKs and random guys with weapons. All of this mess is on a constant move, engages and disengages, some arrive, some leave, and everyone, from time to time, tries to obtain more weapons from the enemies or the allies.
>There's no communication between anyone, the central command, if there is any, doesn't really command anything, coordination is impossible - if you agree to do something with someone, in a few hours you will find someone else holding their positions.
>The forest is hysterically shelled by the enemy with varying intensity and success, which causes everyone to run away, and then run back in in new configurations.
>If the enemy attempts to enter the village - they get destroyed, and then random people run under fire to gather bloodied trophies. Some steal Russian helmets, some take the photos of the dead bodies, some write combat reports.
>There were 3 Russian BTRs, a tank came out, demolished them, and rode off somewhere. Scattered infantry was mowed down from three sides by the unknown forces. Nobody could answer whose tank that was, how it appeared there, and where did it go.
>The only idea which unites everyone - is to kill Russians.
>This is Cossack land. The cold wind from the mythical forest, uncoordinated and unsupplied - where did all these people come from, how did they arm themselves and where do they go, they have no idea.
>Not a single military academy in the world can make you prepared for that.
>Welcome to hell.
— A 4chan post on the defense of Kyiv in 2022
"Glaube's sweetest weapon is a gator kick he calls the "Brazilian Kick." It's an attack that looks like his thigh and shin can't agree on what they're doing. It starts low so your opponent's elbow comes down to protect his body, then your kneecap dislodges and your foot swings over his gloves and into his betrayed face. You can't trust Glaube's leg. Glaube's leg will invite you over for sex and then sell you Amway. Poisoned Amway.
[...]
When [Glaube and Musashi] fought, Musashi wasn't doing much. He's a counter fighter, but you can't counter fight against a guy whose kicks taunt you seven different ways before knocking a tooth out. Counter fighting against Glaube Feitosa is like playing catch with hot soup — it only ends quickly and stupidly."
[...]
When [Glaube and Musashi] fought, Musashi wasn't doing much. He's a counter fighter, but you can't counter fight against a guy whose kicks taunt you seven different ways before knocking a tooth out. Counter fighting against Glaube Feitosa is like playing catch with hot soup — it only ends quickly and stupidly."
"So, why am I letting this guy go? Well, let me share another survival tip: the power of stars can be harnessed, because physics is predictable; if you're not predictable, you're not so easily harnessed. And it also doesn't help that people have a healthy respect for those they believe are mad. [chuckles] Fools. Anyway, I'm gonna go dive into some toxic waste and fight some bugs!"
— SF Debris on the antics of his Sith Inquisitor character
Web Video
Gavin: You might be wondering, "What skills do I have? Why would I lead a heist?" Well let me tell you: I have confusion... and disorientation.
Jack: There's medicine for that...
Jack: There's medicine for that...
— Achievement Hunter's Let's Play Grand Theft Auto V, "Gavin's Heist"
"[Gavin]'s gonna stupid himself to victory again!"
— Geoff Ramsey, Achievement Hunter's "GTA IV: Cops & Crooks"
altabiscuit: So, everyone remembers Whitney for her Miltank. [...] The Clefairy is the real danger here.
Keizaron: Yeah, we have to set up Fury Cutter stacks here, and, uh, Clefairy has Metronome, and Metronome's anything, so we've seen some interesting combinations. We've seen Explosion, which kills you. There's one time that I got Sandstorm into Leech Seed and I'd watch as my Totodile slowly died and I couldn't do anything about it. Also, it looks like it's flipping me off.
Ghoul02: I think my favorite I've ever seen is Sacred Fire into Burn.
[cue Fire Blast into Burn]
Keizaron: Yeah, we have to set up Fury Cutter stacks here, and, uh, Clefairy has Metronome, and Metronome's anything, so we've seen some interesting combinations. We've seen Explosion, which kills you. There's one time that I got Sandstorm into Leech Seed and I'd watch as my Totodile slowly died and I couldn't do anything about it. Also, it looks like it's flipping me off.
Ghoul02: I think my favorite I've ever seen is Sacred Fire into Burn.
[cue Fire Blast into Burn]
Western Animation
"Prepare yourself, brute, for even I do not know my next attack!"
— Ben as Grey Matter, Ben 10 (2016)
Miscellaneous
German World War II Officer: The reason that the American Army does so well in wartime is that war is chaos, and the American Army practices chaos on a daily basis.
Soviet Cold War Document: One of the serious problems in planning against American doctrine is that the Americans do not read their manuals nor do they feel any obligations to follow their doctrine.
Anonymous American Soldier: If we don't know what we are doing, the enemy certainly can't anticipate our future actions.
Soviet Cold War Document: One of the serious problems in planning against American doctrine is that the Americans do not read their manuals nor do they feel any obligations to follow their doctrine.
Anonymous American Soldier: If we don't know what we are doing, the enemy certainly can't anticipate our future actions.
— Apocryphal
"There was a course at the CAEnote in Flinders Street in electronic music, and I'd been kicked out of school, I was sixteen, and we played on these fantastic synthesisters, these Moogs, and they were truly exotic instuments, and you couldn't keep them in tune, you couldn't play a chromatic piece with them, and they were totally unpredictable, so the whole punk thing was a very convenient use to bring them into play, because they were so unpredictable you were at a loss to do anything else with them."
— Andrew Duffield of The Models, Long Way to the Top: Stories of Australian Rock & Roll
Skeeve: Pardon me if I seem a little confused as I wander up to Isstvan tomorrow!
Aahz: Ah, but that's how we're gonna beat him!
Skeeve: I think I'm lost.
Aahz: We're gonna confuse him! Think about it — we're going in with a major magician — me. Ah, but I don't have any powers! However, I've got an apprentice who does! The demon hunter that Isstvan sent out to kill us, is coming back with us to help kill him. We've got a dragon that looks like a unicorn, and an assassin who's actually a part-time magician. So he'll be attacked by a swordsman he thinks he controls, magikally attacked by two people who shouldn't have any magikal ability, and guarding himself against my magik when I don't have any! And the kicker is that our secret weapon isn't even magikal! So what do you think of that?!
Skeeve: I think I'm really lost.
Aahz: See? It'll work like a charm.
Aahz: Ah, but that's how we're gonna beat him!
Skeeve: I think I'm lost.
Aahz: We're gonna confuse him! Think about it — we're going in with a major magician — me. Ah, but I don't have any powers! However, I've got an apprentice who does! The demon hunter that Isstvan sent out to kill us, is coming back with us to help kill him. We've got a dragon that looks like a unicorn, and an assassin who's actually a part-time magician. So he'll be attacked by a swordsman he thinks he controls, magikally attacked by two people who shouldn't have any magikal ability, and guarding himself against my magik when I don't have any! And the kicker is that our secret weapon isn't even magikal! So what do you think of that?!
Skeeve: I think I'm really lost.
Aahz: See? It'll work like a charm.
"There are some things that can beat smartness and foresight? Awkwardness and stupidity can. The best swordsman in the world doesn't need to fear the second best swordsman in the world; no, the person for him to be afraid of is some ignorant antagonist who has never had a sword in his hand before; he doesn't do the thing he ought to do, and so the expert isn't prepared for him; he does the thing he ought not to do; and often it catches the expert out and ends him on the spot."
