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Congrats, (Team Name)!
Congrats, Capitals! (2017)
- "Mario Lemieux may be mortal, but he will forever own the Caps!"
- The ending:UT: (archived audio as footage of Tidus' ridiculously fake laugh plays in the corner) You get eliminated in the 2nd round to WHADDYA KNOW, THE FUCKING PENGUINS!!!
Windows error message: Could not find capscup.exe - Please delete offending franchise before running program.
- The most memetic statements UT has made in his videos so far ("I just think Pekka Rinne is too good right now..." "...dumpster fire..." and "THE FUCKING PENGUINS") are repeated over and over again while showing footage of the Predators loss to the Penguins, including numerous shots of a shell-shocked Pekka Rinne staring out at nothing. All done in the style of the climax to 2001: A Space Odyssey. And the end shows a hooded figure with UT's YouTube logo on his face. When he pulls the cloak back...Vince McMahon: (with a Penguins logo over his face) IT'S ME, AUSTIN! IT'S ME, AUSTIN! IT WAS ME, ALL ALONG, AUSTIN!
Congrats, Texas Football!
- UT tried to cheer up Houston after it was devastated by Hurricane Harvey with some good ol' Texas collegiate football. Except that the choke-jobs probably did more harm than good...(footage of the devastation caused by Hurricane Harvey)
UT: Man. Hurricane Harvey has been awful for Texas. I know what will cheer them up: some college football! The Longhorns are playing the walking doormat of the Big Ten in Maryland at home as a ranked team! This should be a cakewalk.
(footage of Texas getting run over by Maryland, 51-41)note
UT: Damn. The board already wants Herman fired after one game. That's impressive—(door opens)
Redneck: You think that's impressive? Look what I just did against Liberty!
(footage of Baylor choking against Liberty, 48-45)
Redneck: We one-upped you guys. Again!
UT: ...you deserved it.
Headline: Rhule quick to take blame for Baylor's embarrassment against Liberty: "This one is on us, the coaches."
Redneck: Those were alleged crimes—(door opens; Musical Sting following Dramatic Thunder)
Caption: A new challenger enters the ring!
(footage of Texas A&M players celebrating on the way to racking up a 34-point lead over UCLA)
Southern Gentleman: We of the A&M delegation would like you two to hold our bourbon.
(footage of the Aggies blowing the entire 34-point lead to lose 45-44, with clips of Stu from Mrs. Doubtfire choking with an A&M logo superimposed over his face and Billy Madison yelling "YOU BLEW IT!")
Caption: (above Texas, A&M, and Baylor logos) Conglaturation!
Redneck: Gawd damn!
Southern Gentleman: Microphone, drop. (audio feedback upon mic drop)
- A montage of the Cleveland Indians choking in the 2017 American League Divisional Series, set to the Crying Indian commercial and "Indians".
- The Many Faces of Clayton Kershaw:Bewilderment
Meeting the Mets
Takes the L
Too Good Right Now
- To the accompaniment of the Super Mario Bros. "Time's running out!" music clip, a new challenger appears! The Curb Your Enthusiasm theme tune speeds up accordingly, and the Running Gags run out the clock:
Congrats, Falcons! (2018 Edition)
- Tree didn't have a working microphone for this video, so had to deliver his snark with captions. He starts by reminding the Falcons that they went into this game with high expectations - and failed utterly to meet them:Alright, you can't screw this one up, right?
You're favored against an injury-riddled Eagles squad
Your offense is returning the same stars as last year
Philly is coughing up the ball like they consumed Tussin
[Matt Ryan passes 6 yards to Devonta Freeman for a touchdown to make the score 10-6 to Atlanta]
You need to get revenge for last year's embarrassment
[Inception "BWONG"] But you didn't
Vaas: Did I ever tell you the definition of insanity...
- As Tree says, "Start with a Keanu Knee"; Eagles quarterback Nick Foles recovers a Falcons punt and misfires a pass to tight end Zach Ertz... only for the ball to bounce off Falcons defensive back Keanu Neal's knee and into Eagles wide receiver Torrey Smith's hands, respectively accompanied by the Super Mario Bros. "Mario hitting head on unbreakable block" and "1-up" sound effects.
- The recovery gets the Eagles into field goal range, and Jake Elliott makes the 53-yard kick as the clock runs out in the second quarter; 10-9 to Atlanta. But worse is to come in the second half of the game:[as the Eagles smother a Falcons drive] Then add a vanishing offense
Just like every other year they're in the playoffs
[the Eagles drive into field goal range, and Elliott kicks 37 yards to make the score Eagles 12, Falcons 10]
Also the defense craters and bends
Just like every other year
[ding!] And Devonta missed a block again. [a flub that results in Ryan being sacked for a 10-yard loss to end the third quarter]
[as the Falcons fail utterly to slow down Eagles drives] Clutch moments? Nonexistent!
In fact, what is a third-down stop? [Elliott kicks a 21-yard field goal to make the score Eagles 15, Falcons 10]
- But the gap is only five points and the Falcons have the ball on the Eagles' 9-yard line with 1:19 left. Redemption is within their grasp... until they remind us why Tree nicknames them "Definition of Insanity".[Super Mario Bros. "Time's running out!" music]
Sarkisian Playcalling 101
Play 1: Pass the ball [Ryan passes to Julio Jones... who misses the ball]
Play 2: Pass the ball [Ryan tries to pass to Terron Ward, but the pass is incomplete again]
Play 3: Be forced to pass the ball [Ryan passes to Jones for a 7-yard gain]
Play 4: Pass the ball... by putting a fullback in a slot and with a rollout play. Genius. [Ryan passes to Jones again... and Jones misses the ball again]
- And so, as the "Victory" theme from the arcade version of Mortal Kombat plays on the soundtrack, Tree puts up another mock MK victory screen, and ends with another Call-Back to "The Atlanta Falcons: A Legacy of Failure":Conglaturation! The Falcons underachieved yet again! The legacy of failure is still secure and strong!
Even in what should have been their brightest moment, the Falcons were once again stymied by an old foe that had thwarted them in years past, no thanks to themselves. [on the Eagles' first down, the Falcons are slapped with a 5-yard encroachment penalty, putting the game completely beyond them]
The city of Atlanta adds yet another notch of torture and misery to their sports belt. The Falcons and failure once again combine to bring about destruction. Have a nice day. [footage of the Eagles' post-game locker room celebrations]
UT: Only a brick wall could stop you... its name is "the Eagles". note
- UT showed the Steelers no mercy, as this was less a satirical ribbing on their defeat and more of a long-winded "The Reason You Suck" Speech to the entire organization.UT: [as Tommy Bohanon catches a 14-yard pass from Blake Bortles to give the Jaguars a 42-28 lead] Told you. I told you. I've been telling you this would happen for weeks now. But did any of you listen? All you kept saying was that I had "an agenda", that I had "an axe to grind". Well, where are you now? Don't get me wrong, I take no pride in being right about this. It was just something I came to expect. I saw it with them constantly playing down to teams, I saw it with all of the drama, fuck, I saw it when Jacksonville beat their asses back in Week 5! Once again, ego was this team's downfall. The absolute ARROGANCE! of this squad from top to bottom, coaches to benchwarmers, was on full display all season long! Every fucking time that I would hear these fuckers open their mouths, it was about how [sarcastically] they were going to get back at New England, last year was just a fluke, they were going to go to Foxborough and kick their asses and prove how great they really are! [back to anger] Well, guess what, you didn't even fucking get to them. You got completely fucking owned on your home field by the fucking Bologna Sandwich Man! But you know what? With how all you little shits treated James Harrison on his way out, how you sniped him at every waking moment, it's time for the cannons to be turned back on you. Two can play at this game, motherfuckers! And this mockingbird doesn't exactly sing!
- During his rant, Tree refers to Ben Roethlisberger as 'Captain Fat Fuck'.
- After laying into Mike Mitchell for nearly a full minute, he then claims to have "caught up with" him:(cut to: Stock Footage of a dumpster fire)
UT: Oh look, I have Mitchell right here! I know it's a burning pile of trash, but WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?!!!
- Much of the video is set to the climax of Star Wars: A New Hope, with Bill Belichick as Grand Moff Tarkin, Carson Wentz as Red Leader, Nick Foles as Luke Skywalker, the Philadelphia Eagles as the Rebels, Tom Brady as Darth Vader, and Eli Manning as Han Solo.
- During the "Use the Force, Luke!" moment, it instead plays Tree's prediction that the Eagles will lose, prompting Luke (with a headshot of Nick Foles superimposed over his face) to hit a button playing the "NOPE!" sound effect.
- When the Eagles bat down the ball on the last play and secure the win, the Death Star blows up, prompting a cry of "The son of a bitch did it!"
- After Philadelphia wins, it cuts to random scenes of destruction from the resulting victory riots, along with Carson Wentz as the ghost of Anakin Skywalker at the end of Return of the Jedi.
- The footage is sometimes interspersed with Big Name Fan EDP at the Super Bowl during the final seconds, including a shot of EDP crying when the Eagles win, along with the triumphant soundtrack from the Ewoks' victory celebration.
Congrats, Ducks! (2018)
- The video opens with the Duck Hunt title screen, complete with music, followed by the intro screen of the dog leaping into the grass after catching the scent of ducks. The ensuing montage of the Ducks' sweep at the hands of the Sharks is accompanied by the shark's Leitmotif from Jaws, and is interspersed with clips from YouTube instructional videos of chefs, including Gordon Ramsay, Jamie Oliver, and Matt Kemp, preparing roast duck, at one point accompanied by the Duck Hunt musical cue for successfully shooting a duck, and clips of hunters shooting ducks out of the air, at one point accompanied by Shao Kahn laughing and saying "That was pathetic!". Inevitably, the video ends with a shot of the Duck Hunt dog laughing, accompanied by a sound clip of the adviser from Total War: Shogun 2 shouting "SHAMEFUL DISPLAY!".
- The Pens are treated like Alex DeLarge (with a Penguins logo on his face) being subjected to The Ludovico Technique (by a doctor with an NHL logo on her face). As he's being tortured, we're treated to footage of the Penguins' other defeats throughout history, from throwing away a 3-0 series lead against the Islanders in 1975 to losing to the Capitals in six games in 2018, while being bombarded with all sorts of subliminal messages...[Johann Gottfried Piefke's Königgrätzer Marsch plays over footage of the Penguins losing Game 7 to the Islanders after leading the series 3-0 in the 1975 quarter-finals, losing the deciding game to the Blues in double overtime in the 1981 Preliminary Round, and losing to the Flyers in the early 1980s]
You tanked for Lemieux.note
[footage of the Penguins losing the deciding game to the Islanders in overtime in the 1982 Preliminary Round and being scored on by the Flyers en route to a 4-3 series loss in the 1989 Division Finals]note
[footage of the Penguins' Kevin Stevens checking the Islanders' Rich Pilon in Game 7 of the 1993 Division Finals, only to knock himself unconscious on Pilon's visor and hit the ice face first]note
Poor Kevin Stevens.
[footage of the Penguins losing said Game 7 in overtime to a goal from the Islanders' David Volek]
Penguins!Alex: Ugh...I'm gonna be sick...
[footage of the Penguins losing to the Devils in the 1995 Conference Semifinals, the Panthers in the 1996 Conference Finals, and the Canadiens in the 1998 Conference Quarterfinals]
Howard Baldwin. Greatest owner ever.note
[footage of the Penguins losing to the Flyers in quintuple overtime en route to a 4-2 series loss in the 2000 Conference Semifinals and losing to the Devils in the 2001 Conference Finals]
Go boo Jágr more.note
[excerpt from the Penguins' "Next Generation" video from the mid-2000s featuring Marc-Andre Fleury, Evgeni Malkin, and Sidney Crosby, followed by footage of the Penguins losing to the Red Wings in the 2008 Stanley Cup finals as a goalmouth pile-up leads to Fleury accidentally backheeling the puck into his own goal in Game 6]note
Time to move to Kansas City.note
[footage of the Penguins losing to the Canadiens in the 2010 Conference Semifinals]
Greatest Defense ever.
[footage of Sidney Crosby getting concussed after a hit to the head by the Capitals' Dave Steckel in the 2011 Winter Classic]
Poor Sidney Crosby...
[footage of the Penguins losing to the Lightning in the 2011 Conference Quarterfinals]
[Penguins!Alex continues to scream over footage of the Penguins losing to the Flyers in the 2012 Conference Quarterfinals, the Bruins in the 2013 Conference Finals, and the Rangers in the second round in 2014]
Penguins!Alex: STOP IT, STOP IT, PLEASE! I BEG YOU!
[footage of the Penguins losing to the Rangers again in 2015, this time in the first round]
NHL!Dr. Brodsky: I'm sorry, Alex! This is for your own good!
[the remaining footage shows the Penguins' loss to the Capitals in the second round in 2018, starting with losing Game 3...]
#3lieve, am I right?
[... and Game 5...]
Penguins!Alex: But it's not fair! It's not fair I should feel ill when I hear lovely, lovely Ludwig van!
Kris Letang: Capitals Team MVP
The memes are dead.
NHL!Dr. Brodsky: You must take your chance, boy! The choice has been all yours.
You got schooled by a whiny egghead.
Penguins!Alex: I see now what I've never seen before! I'm cured! Praise God!
[... and Game 6 in overtime]
John Walton:note Now the counter, here come the Caps, Kuznetsov - gets loose! Evgeny coming down the middle, a shot! And it comes in over - HE SCORES! HE SCORES! EVGENY KUZNETSOV WINS IT FOR WASHINGTON!
Caption: [over Penguins logo] Conglaturation!
But seriously, fuck Kris Letang.
- Like "Congrats, Steelers!", this video is more of a "The Reason You Suck" Speech than anything, as Tree is pissed with Tampa Bay for not only choking on their own hype again, but choosing to do so against the Capitals while on the verge of another trip to the Cup Finals.UT: Well done, Lightning! You've done the unthinkable and shit yourselves royally in a game seven on home ice. I couldn't be more proud of you worthless pieces of fuck than I could imagine! Holy fucking shit, it's like you embodied the spirit of Florida Man, chose to go snort meth and tried to breed with a python! You're goddamn pathetic! I spit in your faces and shit on your logo repeatedly!
- It turns out he has quite a few questions for the Lightning in regards to their latest failure:UT: How does one go about not scoring a goal in over two and a half games? What kind of black magic must I conjure for such ineptitude? I wish to use it against my enemies.
UT: What do you think will be found first, Jimmy Hoffa's corpse or Steven Stamkos at even strength?
UT: Why did your game plan only read "Vasilevskiy" on it? You seriously expected him to bail you out again?
[Over footage of several players crashing into the net, with Victor Hedman nearly landing on Braden Holtby while batting the puck behind him inches from the goalline; Yanni Gourde streaks in and takes a whack at the puck, only to miss and have Brooks Orpik clear it to the other side, where Alex Ovechkin takes possession and streaks off toward the neutral zone]
UT: How the fuck do you whiff on this opportunity? For fuck's sake, a kid in midget league could have bagged that home! [Moe Tilden yells "You blew it!"] Guess that's what you get with some fucking guy named "Yanni"! [Billy Madison yells "YOU BLEW IT!"] Fucking midget!
UT: If Tyler Johnson were to be any smaller on the ice, could he file for disability as being unable to work?
UT: And one thing, can anyone find Victor Hedman?
[a montage of Hedman getting repeatedly owned on the ice kicks in]
UT: ...hello, Hedman? You there, Mr. Norris Candidate?note Only thing I saw was a candidate for the "Missing Persons" list.
UT: Hey, Mr. Cooper, how about you adjust something besides your crotch?
UT: If a team doesn't get any power play opportunities because the refs swallowed the whistle come playoff time, does it make a sound?
UT: What will come first, Halley's Comet or Nikita Kucherov bothering to give a damn?
Congrats, Indians! (2018 Edition)
- The video opens up with Call Backs to the Indians blowing a 3-1 lead in the 2016 World Series and then choking in Game 5 of the 2017 ALDS, after which the bulk of the video is devoted to them getting almost effortlessly swept by the Astros in the 2018 ALDS, accompanied by the "Lacrimosa" from Mozart's Requiem. But the funniest part is the sting in the tail; the "Conglaturation!" screen appears with over 20 seconds left in the video. Fade to black, and...Stay tuned for a special presentation of Congrats, Rockies!
[six seconds pass]
Exhilarating, isn't it?
It's just like the Rockies performance in the NLDS:
[under a Rockies logo] Conglaturation!note
No, Cubs, No - Steve Bartman and the Billy Goat Band (AKA: Congrats, Cubs)
- The video is an actual song dedicated to lampooning the Cubs collapse late in the season. The cherry on top, however, is that the official MLB YouTube account commented on it.MLB: lol
- The video uses clips from The Patriot to frame the ALDS meeting between the Yankees and the Red Sox as a battle between the Continental Army and the Redcoats. Game 2, the Yankees' only victory, is represented by musket fire from the Continental Army, followed by a clip of Benjamin Martin (Mel Gibson) with a Yankees logo over his face muttering, "That Gates is a damn fool. Going muzzle to muzzle with the Redcoats in open field. It's madness." Game 3 is represented as a Redcoat counterattack, with the film's notorious cannonball decapitation shot superimposing "16-1"note over the cannonball, accompanied by "Fatality!" and Martin saying, "This battle was over before it began." Finally, Game 4 is shown as a Redcoat cavalry charge to "New York, New York", and after the final out gives the Red Sox a 4-3 victory, Cornwallis (with a Red Sox logo on his face) grumbles, "These rustics are so inept. Nearly takes the honour out of victory. Nearly."note
Congrats, Dodgers! (2018)
- Another year, another Dodgers defeat in the World Series. Cue the Curb Your Enthusiasm theme tune, it's time for more Clayton Kershaw memes in "Many More Faces of Clayton Kershaw"...[Brewers relief pitcher Brandon Woodruff hits a home run off Kershaw in Game 1 of the NLCS]
Drinking the Brew
[later in the game, pinch hitter Domingo Santana hits a two-run single off Kershaw]
Roofied by Cheeseheads
[World Series Game 1, bottom of the first inning; the Red Sox' Andrew Benintendi hits a single off Kershaw that gets Mookie Betts home]
[later in the inning, J.D. Martinez hits a single that gets Benintendi home]
Comparable to MadBum?
[in the fifth inning, Benintendi hits another single off Kershaw, who is promptly relieved as pitcher]
Doing Damage to LA's Collective Liver
[fast forward to Game 5, with the Dodgers trailing 3-1 in the series; in the top of the first, Steve Pearce hits a two-run homer off Kershaw]
[top of the sixth inning; Kershaw gives up another home run to Betts]
Let's Just Blame Ryan Madson
[top of the seventh inning; Kershaw gives up yet another home run, this one to Martinez]
The Dirty Machado
[in the bottom of the second inning, Red Sox pitcher David Price strikes out Austin Barnes]
RIP David Price Memes
- With Yu Darvish no longer a Dodger, the mantle of joining with Kershaw to destroy the Dodgers' World Series aspirations is passed to manager Dave Roberts. Cue the Super Mario Bros. "Time's running out!" music, and a sped up Curb Your Enthusiasm theme...Dave Roberts Overmanager 2018!
[in the bottom of the seventh in Game 1, Eduardo Nunez hits a home run off Alex Wood]
Let's Play Percentages!
[fart noise] Derp
[in Game 2, Ryan Madson walks Steve Pearce... with the bases loaded, getting Christian Vazquez home]
Ryan Madson, Always
[fart noise] He Didn't Suck Last Year
[on the very next pitch, Martinez hits a line drive to right field that gets both Betts and Benintendi home]
The Burning Bridges of Madson County
[over a shot of the Dodgers' dugout, one team member with his head in his arms] [fart noise] LA's Collective Expression
[in the bottom of the seventh, Betts hits a double off Kenta Maeda]
Needs More Souls
[over a shot of Red Sox fans] [fart noise] Get In Your Shelters
[in the top of the seventh inning in Game 4, Mitch Moreland hits a three-run homer off Madson, slashing the Dodgers' lead from 4-0 to 4-3]
Starting Pitcher Throwing a One-Hitter? Throw in Madson Again!
[over a reaction shot of a dejected Rich Hill, the starting pitcher in question] [fart noise] Poor Bastard
[eighth inning; Martinez hits another home run, this one off Kenley Jansen]
Kenley Jansen in the Eighth Inning!
[fart noise] Counsell-itis
[ninth inning; Pearce hits another home run, this one off Kenta Maeda]
Third Pitcher in the Inning, Because Fuck Everything
[fart noise] Get Fired, Dave
Simpsons anchor: [points at screen] You stupid...! [trails off laughing]
[the Red Sox' Craig Kimbrel gets Cody Bellinger out on a fly ball to end Game 4, 9-6 to Boston]
[fart noise] Yep, Get Fired
- Finally, Tree points out that much worse might come for the Dodgers:[the Super Mario Bros. "Bowser defeated!" sting plays over footage of the last out of Game 5]
UT: Oh, but Dodgers, you have yourselves a nice consolation prize for your efforts.
Caption: [as the Red Sox' Chris Sale strikes out Dodger Manny Machado] Eat Shit, Machado
Caption: [under the Dodgers' logo] Conglaturation!
[the Super Mario Bros. ending music plays over the Red Sox celebrations]
UT: You remember that little thing about being probed for your teams' actions in Latin America? Turns out you might have violated federal law.
Headline: The Dodgers Might be in Actual Legal Trouble
UT: What happened to the Braves could be a mere slap on the wrist compared to what happens to you fuckers. The US government might be coming for blood. You guys might have triggered RICO. You are fucked.
Caption: I wish I was being hyperbolic
UT: And I'm not just saying that to be an edgelord, you might be legitimately fucked. Pray to whatever gods you have that this shit blows over because this could be getting ugly. Here's to making that marathon Game 3 completely irrelevant.note
Caption: At least Dave Roberts can overmanage the unemployment line?
Die, Eagles, Die! - 2019 Heartbreak Edition (AKA: Congrats, Eagles)
- With the Eagles' Super Bowl title defence having died in the Superdome in the NFC Divisional Round, Tree engages in a bit of shout-singing and gravedancing over an instrumental version of "Fly, Eagles, Fly":[the lyrics appear at the bottom of the screen throughout]
UT: DIE, EAGLES, DIE
ON THE ROAD TO AGONY
FILL US WITH LIFE
WITH A FOURTEEN-NOTHING LEAD [sure enough, the Eagles storm to a 14-0 lead in the first quarter...]
WATCH THEM BLOW [... that is soon cut to 14-10...]
WATCH THEM WRITHE
AND KILL OFF BIG DICK NICK [... then the Saints take a 17-14 lead, then a 20-14 lead...]
THANK YOU, ALSHON [... and as the Eagles sit on the Saints' 27-yard line with two minutes left, wide receiver Alshon Jeffery lets a pass slip through his hands, with Saints DB Marshon Lattimore waiting directly behind him to pick the ball off]
PLEASE GO HIT FREE AGENCY [a very long list of potential Eagles free agents appears, headed by "Possibly Nick Foles"]
I! G! G! L! E! S! IGGLES!note
[footage of eatdatpussy445 reacting badly to the loss]
Caption: [under an Eagles logo] Conglaturation!
Congrats, Lightning! (2019)
- Rather than invest his usual over-dramatic snark, Tree is in stitches over the fact that the Tampa Bay Lightning were the first team in NHL history to win the Presidents' Trophy (tying the 1995-96 Detroit Red Wings for most wins in a season in the process)... and not win a single playoff game, losing 4-0 in the first round. On top of that, they didn't just get swept; they got swept by the Columbus Blue Jackets, who hadn't won a playoff series in their entire existence before beating the Lightning. The video features Tree openly breaking out into laughter several times, almost as if he can't believe that it happened.Tree: Wow. Wow. I mean... wow. You are pathetic. Like, I'm not even surprised by you not making the finals; I knew you were going to choke. But in Game 1 of the playoffs?! (wheezes with laughter) Do you realize what you have just done? This is quite possibly the greatest failure in the history of sports! (nerdy voice) 62-win season. Art Ross and Hart-winning forward. (over footage of the Blue Jackets' three empty net goals in the last two minutes of Game 4) Vezina Trophy winner. Norris Trophy winner.note LIGHTNING IN THREE!
Announcer: A new record!
Caption: (accompanied by a graphic of confetti and the Super Mario 64 "Key get!" fanfare) World record achieved!
Billy Madison: YOU BLEW IT!
Tree: You're pioneers, lads. You're the first team to win the Presidents' Trophy and not win a single fucking game! (dissolves into riotous laughter as the shot of a group of men slow clapping, one of whom raises a glass in a sarcastic toast, appears bottom right) This is the best comedy on television! (Billy Madison yells "YOU BLEW IT!" again) Maybe I can find that talent you kept teasing us with in the regular season if I squint at the TV, because I sure as shit can't find it otherwise. But wait. It gets even better. You guys lost... to the Blue Jackets! This team hadn't won a playoff series in their existence.
Caption: (as Ryan McDonagh angrily swats the puck into his own net after the Blue Jackets' Cam Atkinson scores an empty net goal to put Game 3 to bed) Most accurate shot by a Lightning player
Tree: I wasn't expecting this to be a cakewalk, but holy fucking shit, did you guys even try to adjust?! You had one period. (a shot of Squidward choking on a fork in the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Naughty Nautical Neighbors" appears bottom left) Congratulations, you had your time of the month like most women on Earth!
NFL Blitz announcer: What a truly pathetic display!
Tree: Perhaps next time you can learn other basic responsibilities like cleaning up the diarrhea you spewed all over the ice!
- Tree then turns his attention to individual players, starting with Steven Stamkos and Brayden Point, whose stellar regular seasons were not reflected by their almost total anonymity in the series against the Blue Jackets:Tree: (cut to a shot of a desert) Behold, everyone! STEVEN STAMKOS! (crickets chirping) I think I can see him in the distance. (over footage of Stamkos' goal in Game 4, his only point of the series) Oh, there he is, just in time to watch his team be embarrassed again!
Caption: I tried to find Brayden Point
All I got every time I searched was a blank screen
Still more visiblenote
- Next in the firing line: Nikita Kucherov. Art Ross winner by a mile? You'd never know it from his performances against Columbus:Tree: (as Sergei Bobrovsky saves a shot from Nikita Kucherov) Just look at this treasure in Nikita Kucherov! (over footage of Kucherov smashing Markus Nautivaraa into the boards in Game 2, for which he was slapped with a one-game suspension) He's so deadly that he's going to cheap shot opposing players into the boards!
Caption: (accompanying a quote from Tampa Bay sportswriter Joe Smith's Twitter account in which Kucherov said "It just wasn't our time this year.") Most points in NHL history. Not our year. Fucking LOL.
Caption: (flashing) Probable Hart Trophy winner (on the fourth flash, "winner" gets swapped out for "choker")
Tree: Look, Nikita, I know you vanish at the most inopportune times, but that's no reason to start decking people illegally! Great sportsman you are.
Shao Kahn: That was pathetic.
- Tree follows this by likening Andrei Vasilevskiy, who went from a leading contender for the Vezina Trophy to conceding fifteen goals in four games, to the viral video of a fish still writhing after having been beheaded, gutted, filleted, and put in the oven. The video is accompanied by a voice yelling "BOOOO! You suck!"
- His venom spewed at the players, Tree then turns to head coach Jon Cooper:Tree: Jon Cooper. Why the hell did I think this guy was a good coach? Hold on, let me adjust myself for this... (grunts) In this time frame, I have probably done more adjusting than Cooper has done in this series.
Caption: Dude got tactically rawdogged by Tortorella
Tree: Perhaps we can also adjust how you respond to the media on adversity.
Headlines: Lightning's Jon Cooper: 'For six days in April, Columbus was the better team'
Lightning coach Jon Cooper: 'This is a five-alarm fire'
Tree: (as the "dumpster fire" GIF appears in the background) "The other team wanted it more"?! HOW THE FUCK IS MOTIVATION AN ISSUE, YOU GUYS GOT PUNCHED IN THE MOUTH LAST YEAR BY THE CAPS! You knew the goal was a Cup and you failed miserably at it. You're a fucking fraud!
Caption: Also a five-alarm fire: your job security
Tree: I would say get your ass fired out of the cannon they have at Nationwide Arena, but they extended your contract before the playoffs.
Headline: Jon Cooper signs multi-year extension with the Lightning
Simpsons anchor: (points at screen) You stupid...! (trails off laughing)
Tree: Bet you're regretting that one, eh?
Moe Tilden: You blew it!
- Tree then delivers a few final kicks, including a suggestion (which he knows they won't take) that they overhaul the entire franchise:Tree: (over footage of a press interview with Steve Yzerman)note Fucking hell, no wonder why Stevie fled this ship last year. He wanted to keep his reputation intact as Her Majesty's Lightning choked in the Atlantic!
Voice: These guys SUCK!
Tree: This is more embarrassing than that time you were owned by the Yakuza. Hey, maybe the Lightning chose to pay homage to their old owner and just never show up to the arena. You didn't even have to, because (as a Lightning logo appears over a flashing "CONGLATURATION!" caption, a graphic of fireworks, and the winning bell and theme music from The Price Is Right) congratulations, you're the new meme of the NHL. I would offer you some celebratory cake but you'd probably choke on it.
Billy Madison: YOU BLEW IT!
Tree: You want my advice, even though you won't take it? Purge some big pieces. I'm dead serious, start chopping off some heads. This was the year you had to show me something and you pissed all over it. You aren't winning a Cup with this core, you aren't winning a Cup with this coach, and you most certainly aren't winning a Cup with these mentally soft players who can't handle a shred of adversity that comes their way! I wouldn't even hang a banner for the Presidents' Trophy.
Caption: The 62 wins mean nothing. The goals for this season were in the playoffs. This season was a total failure. Sorry.
Tree: It will only remind you of failure. Just treat it like a college scandal and say the year was invalidated. At least you'd have won as many playoff games with that scenario!
Caption: (over an embarrassed, apologetic tweet from the Lightning's official Twitter account) Damage control activated
Tree: "Thank you for being there the entire way", huh? If you act quickly I think you might be able to get a refund on the season. I can't say the same for the cap hell coming your way.
Caption: (under a Lightning logo) Conglaturation!
Tree: How many wins does it take to gain dignity? More than 62.
Mr. Kincade: You blew it! You had it all and you blew it!
Billy Madison: YOU BLEW IT!
- Tree then turns his attention to individual players, starting with Steven Stamkos and Brayden Point, whose stellar regular seasons were not reflected by their almost total anonymity in the series against the Blue Jackets:
Congrats, Jets! (2019)
- Tree parodies a David Attenborough style nature documentary, featuring the Jets being attacked by the Blues:UT: [in the Richard Shittenborough accent] Here we see the pride of the True North, peacefully grazing on the postseason grasses and ambition for the cup. Despite this auspicious nature, a predator lurks in the shadows.
[African-style drumbeat plays, as a clip of a cheetah labeled "A lead" is shown]
UT: A thorn in the side of Winnipeg all year, it's a dangerous situation! The Jet knows what's coming. He looks nervous. It appears to be the third period of his life. [another cheetah labeled "Sluggish season"] Let us watch this chess match.
Congrats, Capitals! (2019)
- The "Groundhog Day" Loop returns once again for Washington sports, with a twist:[clip from Groundhog Day of Phil Connors' alarm clock going off at 6 am to the sound of Sonny & Cher's "I Got You Babe"]
Capitals radio announcer John Walton: ...and as the puck drops, the words that D.C. fans have been waiting to hear—
[cue Record Needle Scratch]
UT: Wait, wait a minute, this isn't right! Why the hell are they deviating from the script? This is supposed to be routine and predictable failure. Let me just take a look here and... Ah! Here's the problem: somebody accidentally turned off the "Choke" button. There we go, good as new.
[cue test pattern, followed by the clip from Groundhog Day of Phil Connors' alarm clock going off at 6 am to the sound of Sonny & Cher's "I Got You Babe"... followed by clips of the Hurricanes' goals in Games 6 and 7, and Washington's disallowed goal in Game 6 that would have tied the game.]
["Brass Bonanza" starts playing as the Hurricanes score in the second overtime of Game 7 to win the series.]
UT: Congratulations! You once again can't make it past the second round. Ehh.. it's not the same. I can't laugh at them anymore, I feel... nothing. They were just outplayed, there's nothing to really mock. This video has disappointed you just like the Capitals this postseason. Kind of ironic. You know who ruined this? The Lightning. Thanks for choking last year, you fucking bums.
Caption: (under a Capitals logo) Conglaturation?
The New York Islanders: A Tale of Two Arenas (AKA: Congrats, Islanders! (2019))
- The video starts out as a long Juxtaposition Gag between the Islanders' two home arenas, the Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum (used for the first round series against the Pittsburgh Penguins) and the Barclay's Center (used for the series against the Carolina Hurricanes):[As the clips shift between the Coliseum and Barclay Center]
Captions: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum[over images of enthusiastic support after an Islanders goal]]
Barclay's Center[where the fan support is lackluster]
Where Most of the Fanbase Resides
One Hour Away from Fanbase [and then, Glory to the SUV!]
Old Arena, but Still Built for NHL Hockey
Garbage Hockey, Ice Surface, and Sightlines
Good Boy Brock
- And then "Brass Bonanza" rings out as the Hurricanes complete the sweep in Raleigh.Captions: Karma
Robin Lehner Running out of Island Magic
Come to Our Games!
Brass Bonanza Consumes you Whole
The Hockey Gods are Cruel Bastards
Sweep the Pens Only to be Swept
Buffalo Welcomes You
A Great Season Ends on a Very Sour Note
Go Back to Nassau. You Left Your Mojo There.
The Only Benefit to Barclay's is the Car
Just Bring it With you When you Move to Belmont
Too Bad We'll Enjoy These Scrambled Eggs
[under an Islanders' logo] Conglaturation!
Congrats, Warriors! (2019)
- Another year, another predictable NBA finals... or not?UT: Perhaps I can be foolish in my assumption that the Warriors were going to win easily this year, a lot of people did. I mean, that lineup with Boogie Cousins? Easy ring. These playoffs showed us some warning signs, but nothing too severe. They barely escaped the claws of the Clippers. They literally broke the Houston Rockets. Portland, what team are they? What I said remains true. Easy ring. There was only one thing they didn't take into account. The gods of the hardwood demanded tithes for the Warriors dynasty. Golden State refused to bend the knee and the gods were not kind. Nearly all of their living men dropping down one by one.
Headline: [Sickening "Crunch!" and Stock Scream of agony] Warriors' DeMarcus Cousins Out Indefinitely With Torn Quad
UT: Boogie Cousins injured again and a mere shell of his abilities in the finals.
Headline: [Sickening "Crunch!" and Stock Scream of agony] Warriors Kevon Looney out with injury, won't return for Game 5
UT: Kevon Looney being severely compromised by the Grim Reaper's blade.
Headline: [Sickening "Crunch!" and Stock Scream of agony] Warriors' Andre Iguodala leaves late in first half with apparent head injury
UT: Andre Iguodala, just repeat the same thing I said about Looney. But oh, there were more prizes to come. Kevin Durant. Who knew that snakes had Achilles tendons?
Headline: [Sickening "Crunch!", Stock Scream of agony, "Unit lost!"] Kevin Durant Achilles injury: Experts say Warriors star may never be the same again
UT: His was ruptured after trying to return to the core too quickly. Such an injury leaves the remainder of his career potentially fucked. You got your rings, now pay for them. Klay Thompson, on the other hand, did nothing wrong, but the gods are feeling quite merciless. Torn ACL.
Headline: [Sickening "Crunch!", Stock Scream of agony, "Unit lost!"] Klay has torn ACL in left knee, Warriors confirm
UT: Out for at least the majority of the next season. You'd say the Raptors are the favourites now, but this is Toronto, they're just going to choke like they always do. Congratulations, NBA, you're... [the "Hallelujah" Chorus begins playing over footage of the Raptors holding onto the lead in Game 6 to win the series 4-2] not... fucked?? Oh my God, it happened... I suddenly feel a new lease on life itself! QUICK! EVERYONE! COME QUICK! THE NBA IS NOT FUCKED!
Caption: [over footage of crowds celebrating in Toronto, graphics of fireworks and church bells ringing (the latter with sound effects)] You're not fucked!
UT: The gods have answered our prayers. May they be praised for their mercy. And something about a potential legacy of failure being averted, that's always a good thing. The Raptors won a championship. Good. I was getting tired of all the choking they did over the years. Perhaps Kawhi will stick around a little longer with another championship in tow.note But Golden State, the tides have turned. I have two words that may comfort you in the future: "You're fucked."
Caption: [under a Warriors logo] Conglaturation!
UT: The hunter may now be the hunted. Have a nice day.
Congrats, Orioles! (2019)
- UT does this in the style of the Big Bill Hell's video, right down to the original text slidesnote and the original background musicnote . And then:UT: You guys do realize you guys just broke the single-season record for most home runs allowed and it's not even the final week of August, right? And conveniently on the anniversary of 30 to 3 as well. Trying to migrate to the Inner Harbor to drown, I see?
Bugs Bunny: I'll get up there and WHAM! [one such home run] A homer! WHAM! [another one] Another homer! [a string of other home runs at the Orioles' expense] WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! ["Boo, you suck"]
Caption: [under the Orioles logo] Conglaturation!
$400 Million Reasons to Die (AKA: Congrats, Phillies!)
- A bright start for Philadelphia in 2018 was followed by a humiliating collapse after the All-Star break, leaving the Phillies a game below .500 at the end of the season. Things have to change, right?...
- Tree starts by reminding his viewers of the sad side of 2018, with a black and white montage of a routing by the Rockies and losses at Citizens Bank Park to the Nationals (in extra innings) and the Braves. The solution? Spend, spend, spend:UT: Did you hate last year's epic collapse? [superimposition of a building being imploded] Did you want to die after finishing under .500 yet again? Don't worry, because you now have 400 million reasons not to! It's the slow winter of discontent in the City of Brotherly Love. Ownership and the fanbase alike has grown impatient with the stench of "Ruin Tomorrow Jr."note A new mark has to be made. The shopping spree would begin. [the video switches to colour for the ensuing montage] Let's start ourselves off in the reliever aisle with David Robertson!
Caption: [accompanied by a vintage cash register's "Ch-ching!"] $23 Million guaranteed
UT: The former MVP section for a little Andrew McCutchen.
Caption: ["Ch-ching!"] $50 Million guaranteed
UT: Here's the West Coast Island for a nice Jean Segura.
Caption: ["Ch-ching!"] $60.4 Million guaranteed
UT: The Miami liquidation sale got them this mint condition J.T. Realmuto-
Caption: ["Nope!"] Probably going to be paid handsomely
UT: -but they need icing on the cake... something to assert themselves... [Ethereal Choir] Oh my God, that's it. Bryce Harper. The face of their revival. What's the price tag here, [glass breaking] an extra crack on the Liberty Bell!?
Caption: $330 Million guaranteed
UT: Fine! It's worth it! The time is theirs to secure the NL East!... Please?...
- But footage of the Phillies getting thrashed by the Cubs at Wrigley Field heralds the unfortunate truth: the big signings mostly underperformed, and they got no help from their teammates or the management.UT: Unfortunately, this is now why you have 400 million reasons to die. David Robertson gets injured in April.
Headline: [Sickening "Crunch!", Stock Scream of pain] Phillies place David Robertson on injured list with sore elbow
UT: Never returns. Andrew McCutchen ended up getting recalled due to a torn ACL.
Headline: [Sickening "Crunch!", Stock Scream of agony] Phillies' Andrew McCutchen out for remainder of 2019 season with torn ACL
UT: Thank Jean Segura for not running out a pop-up.note Jake Arrieta's not only alleged of PED usage in a past life, he's also alleged of not being a pitcher.
Headline: Jake Arrieta Becoming $75M Letdown Is Bigger Phillies Problem Than Bryce Harper
UT: Maikel Franco shows up... like... once every ten games.
Headline: Phillies Notebook: Maikel Franco demoted as more versatile Sean Rodriguez keeps job
UT: Odubel Herrera decided the only thing he liked hitting are women.
Headline: Phillies outfielder Odubel Herrera suspended for rest of season over domestic violence arrest
UT: Rhys Hoskins just doesn't like hitting anything.
Headline: Rhys Hoskins thinks he's 'one swing away' from snapping his funk. The Phillies hope so.
UT: Remember how much Héctor Neris sucked? Good news, he's your best reliever and still sketchy as hell.
Headline: Phillies manager Gabe Kapler on his job status: 'I think I gave us a great chance to win'
Caption: Erm... no
UT: Gabe Kapler too smart for his own good! Or at least you would think. Hiring a pitching coach with no experience coaching pitchers.
Headline: Phillies pitching coach Chris Young in danger of losing his position
UT: Bullpen and lineup management under the logic of your computer overlords. This apparently includes giving a regular role to Sean Rodriguez.
Headline: Sean Rodriguez calls Phillies fans 'entitled' for booing slumping players after hitting walkoff homer
UT: The computer's AI is probably Charlie Manuel. By the way, say "hi" to your new hitting coach.
Headline: Charlie Manuel takes over as Phillies hitting coach
UT: As for the golden goose, Bryce Harper? Well, he's all right. Decent numbers, not a total liability on the field. Here's the problem: you don't pay $330 million for "all right".
Headline: Bryce Harper lost a breakup about as badly as you can lose a breakup
UT: Dude only had about two clutch hits all year. Here's one of them. [Harper hits a two-run double in the bottom of the ninth against the Dodgers to hand the Phillies a 9-8 win]note
- So where has all of this spending left Philadelphia?UT: Let's take a live look at Phillies management reacting to this team's destruction!
[footage from the Game of Thrones episode "The Bells" of Cersei, with a Phillies logo superimposed over her face below the caption "Matt Klentak", watching Drogon, who has the word "Reality" superimposed over him, raining fire on King's Landing, various parts of which have "Bandaids to pitching staff", "Situational hitting", and "NL Playoff hopes" superimposed over them]
UT: This is why you don't forget about the pitching when making those moves! Fourth place in the NL East! A bitter disappointment of a season! Even better, there's still a good chance they won't finish over .500!note
Headline: With owner watching, gasping Phillies fall to .500 mark for the first time this season
UT: Want to not suck the life out of your fans? How about not losing to Miami so frequently?note [as pitcher Jared Hughes runs toward the mound] Look out, here comes the anti-clutch! [over footage of a dejected J.T. Realmuto shaking his head] We're as disappointed as you are, J.T. We can only hope people are fired, but probably not. Tune in next year when the Phillies learn absolutely nothing and throw a shitload of money at Gerrit Cole and Anthony Rendon. And then see someone like Carlos Santana return to form on a different team. [footage of Santana hitting a solo homer for the Indians against the Twins] I mean, it's not a Philly issue?...
[the Mets' Pete Alonso hits a single to left field; through haphazard fielding, the Phillies allow Sam Haggerty to get home and give New York a 3-2 lead in the bottom of the eighth inning]note
Caption: [under a Phillies logo] Conglaturation!
UT: ... oh, wait, it is.
- Tree starts by reminding his viewers of the sad side of 2018, with a black and white montage of a routing by the Rockies and losses at Citizens Bank Park to the Nationals (in extra innings) and the Braves. The solution? Spend, spend, spend:
No, Cubs, No! (2019 Edition)
- Much like the first one in 2018, he sings about how their season utterly collapsed late and allowed the St. Louis Cardinals and Milwaukee Brewers to pass them for playoff spots. This time, the vocals were deliberately awful and was cut off before completing:UT: ♫Fundamental lapses, total collapse!♫
♫The bullpen's overtaxed and gassed!♫
♫Oh, there's another home run blast,♫
♫Given up by-♫ (stops singing) Oh right, your savior!
[cuts to video of the announcement of Saddam Hussein's capture, with a Cubs logo over Paul Bremer's head as Bremer says "Ladies and gentleman, we got him!" accompanied by a headline of the Cubs acquiring pitcher Craig Kimbrel for a 3-year, $42 mil contract, followed by footage of him allowing homers, accompanied by a caption of $14 million per year, headlines of his injuries to the knee and elbow, another caption of Rush him back from injury again, and with "Baby I'm Yours" by Breakbot behind the footage]
UT: Seriously, how? There are implosions and then there's this! [alongside a graph showing how the chances took a nosedive after a 76.5% playoff chance on September 16 with a caption of Just look at it]
Caption: (under a Cubs logo) Conglaturation!
UT: Someone shoot this zombie of a team in the head, would you please?
Congrats, Dodgers! (2019)
- In a similar vein to "Congrats, Steelers!" and "Congrats, Lightning! (2019)", Tree eviscerates the Dodgers for their collapse in the 2019 NLDS to the Washington Nationals. And then the Curb Your Enthusiasm theme tune plays, marking the beginning of Playoff Kershaw: A Bounty for the Opposition.
The Vegas Golden Knights
- The video starts with black and white clips from Tree's previous videos on the Golden Knights, all of them expressing pessimism for the team's success and future. It seamlessly transitions into newly recorded audio of Tree, as the video turns to color, and the Golden Knights defy expectations:UT: Expansion is foolish, everyone said it, not just me. I mean look at these guys, they're going to be completely fucking terrible.
Headlines: Las Vegas is an terrible place for an NHL team and Wow the Golden Knights are going to be bad
[Two tables of projected standings appear, showing the Golden Knights at or near the bottom of the Pacific Division]
UT: Everyone said it, not just me! Like they're actually going to prove me wrong and make me eat a bag of shit.
[Record Needle Scratch, as a headline stating Golden Knights roll into midseason break with win over Rangers and Vegas's standings (29-10-2) appear.]
UT: God damm it.
The Cleveland Cavaliers
- In The Stinger, Tree splits his sides laughing at 76ers fans who thought LeBron James would sign for Philadelphia when he entered free agency, complete with the Simpsons clip of a TV anchorman pointing, laughing, and saying "You stupid...!".
- Over the Sonic the Hedgehog "Game Over" tune, Tree lays into DeMarcus Cousins for deciding to join the Golden State Warriors and "possibly win a championship ring on the cheap", further undermining any notion of league parity.UT: Thanks for proving me right at every turn, NBA! This league is a joke...
Caption: Only two words sound throughout the deep... you're fucked.note
- Tree's second livestream:
- A fair bit of it consists of him ranting about Fortnite while playing it for the first time (most of which is sitting around and doing nothing). This is followed by a switch to NHL Hockey 94, wherein the chat demands the Hartford Whalers be one of the teams for the sake of hearing the 16-bit "Brass Bonanza". Shortly after one of the CPU Whalers gets knocked out of the game, a donation notice chimed in with a "*crunch* Oh no, there's a man down!" to Tree's amusement.
- Eventually, to honor a bet, UT ate a Pitts-Burger while Here We Go plays on repeat in the background. He dreaded this experience.
- In Tree's third livestream on the 2019 NHL trade deadline, Tree expresses his pleasure that the Pittsburgh Penguins did not make any significant trades, only to see the news break that the Penguins traded Tanner Pearson for Erik Gudbranson, who he describes as "quite possibly one of the worst players in the league". Tree put together a video of the highlights of the debacle.
- Related to the example above, in a weekly livestream with FivePoints, the two are covering the 2019 NFL Draft, with FivePoints hoping the New York Giants use the number six pick on either Dwayne Haskins or Josh Allen. Instead, the Giants went with Daniel Jones. FivePoints did not take it well at all, silently leaving to retrieve a beer while UT laughed heartily.
- The Penguins make another questionable acquisition when the NHL's free agency opened in 2019. After the Pens signed Brandon Tanev for $3.5 million per year for 6 years, Tree melted down during his livestream. Once again, there's a highlight video.UT: Three point five mil for six...what?....Did I read that correctly?
Caption: Yes, you did, yinzer
- During the NFL Season Prediction edition of the Dumpster Fire, Tree, FivePointsVids, Brandon Perna of ThatsGoodSports, and one of the stream supporters were also following the New York Mets entering the bottom of the ninth in a crucial game against the Washington Nationals. The Mets had a 10-4 lead and a 99.9% chance of winning. The Nationals proceeded to chip away at that lead because of New York's shoddy bullpen, resulting in utter disaster once much-maligned Edwin Diaz came in to bail the Mets out with a slim 10-8 lead and another death of all optimism for FPV:FPV: Tell me they're not going to walk Kurt Suzuki to load the bases? What the fuck are they doing?!
Caption: When a shitposter has more sense than a manager...
UT: Because it's the Mets. This is Edlose Diaz, what do you expect?
[Suzuki proceeds to hit a three-run walkoff homer to complete the comeback]
UT: OH GOD, THE METS LOST! [cue uproarious laughter from everyone on stream except FPV, who instead lets out a Big "WHAT?!"; Tree puts on his Mets Man voice as "Meet the Mets" plays in the background] YET ANOTHER SUCCESSFUL METTING! [resumes uproarious laughter as FPV is completely dejected]
- UT's guest spot on Five Points Vids' TRIGGERING ALL 31 NHL TEAMS. He's brought in specifically to roast The Fucking Penguins(tm):UT: What the hell can we say about Those Fucking Penguins(tm), a team that has had luck and bullshit spew out of their ass so fast that it almost jettisoned their asses to Kansas City? A team that has conveniently lucked into three generational talents as they were bankrupt and on the verge of moving? A team that nobody in Pittsburgh gave a flying fuck about until they realized they didn't suck a bag of dicks anymore?note The only thing more embarrassing than yinzers viciously pleasuring themselves to beating Philly and the Caps is their tank-job to get Lemieux back in The '80s. If you mention this at all to them, they'll whine like Crosby and the rest of their blue-blooded ilk while Matt Cooke ends someone's career. Never forget the '04-'05 squad, either. Nobody can name three players on that team if they got beaten in the face with them. May the spirit of David Volek haunt Pittsburgh for eternity for their ignorance. Now please excuse them while fans boo Jágr for crimes of dying alive.
- 0-16: The Story of the 2017 Cleveland Browns: A montage of the Browns' legendarily awful 2017 season, laced with callbacks to Tree's original Lolcow video and fury from Browns fans.
- After a 7-0 routing of the Flyers by the Penguins, UT took the win about as well as you'd expect...
- 2018 was not a good year for Tree. He had so many sport predictions go wrong, as well as seeing a lot of his easy targets go down, he made a Twitter post about it while changing his username to UrinatingREEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
- When discussing the MLB's declining attendance, UT uses a series of dramatic transitions for why each team is suffering from attendance problems. The last one, however, has his logo with the text "Just wanted to do this transition again" under it.
- Days after the World Cup passed, Tree decided to do a video on the aftermath, admitting that there may be some mistakes along the way.
- When going over the performance of Costa Rica and Panama:UT: Thank God I don't have to see that pathetic excuse for a US soccer team be trotted out to get blown the fuck out at group stages. Now we get to settle for Panama and Costa Rica get blown out and their fans treating it as an honor to be there. This is why you don't lose to fucking Trinidad, kids! (test card; cut to footage of a Sweden vs. Italy qualifying match) Speaking of failures, where the fuck did Italy go? (headlines of organizational upheaval among Italy's national team and FA upon failure to qualify for the first time since 1958, coupled with a "SHAMEFUR DISPRAY!")
- UT keeps erroneously referring to Croatia's national team as the Three Lions. He did at least catch it after recording his lines:
- At the end, going over how France "celebrates" its victory:UT: France however also gets a glorious trophy. You know what that means, it's time for some riots! (footage of various riots and lootings with La Marseillaise playing in the background, occasionally with Glass Joe's "Vive la France!" sprinkled in) Well done, chaps! That's another exciting tour of the World Cup! May Russia enjoy financial misery as FIFA rakes in shitloads of cash for being a nonprofit! It's one of the greatest scams in all of sports! We will see you all in four years as football's holy grail travels to- (needle scratch) Qatar?! They're still hellbent on going there? This is gonna be a shitshow and a half!
- When going over the performance of Costa Rica and Panama:
- A meta example, but it turns out the Steelers have blocked Tree on Twitter. The kicker? He never even posted anything on their page.
- In "A Yinzer in Jerryworld," he's shown on-screen attempting some practice drills at the Cowboys' facility, outright saying "this is going to be a fail montage". When it comes time to try the vertical leap, Tree fails to hit even the lowest possible marker. The video goes black and white with a Grand Theft Auto V "WASTED" graphic flashing on the screen.
- In the 2019 AFC Divisional Round, the Kansas City Chiefs raced to a 24-7 lead in the first half against the Indianapolis Colts, and Tree clearly expected Full Reid to take hold as it did when the Chiefs led the Colts by 28 points in their 2014 AFC Wild Card game. The end result did not go unremarked upon...*COLTS DOWN 7-24 AT HALF*
FOOTBALL GODS: "It's cool, guys. Full Reid will be commencing shortly. We need our humor quota to be fulfulled. [sic]
*CHIEFS PROCEED NOT TO GO FULL REID, WIN GAME*
FOOTBALL GODS: [GIF of a stunned Pikachu blinking in and out of focus]