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Heartwarming / Urinating Tree

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  • Regardless of what your favorite team is or whether or not they made the playoffs for their particular sport, whenever he discusses them in his various "Haters Guide" focused on championships, he always puts them over and makes them sound like legitimate contenders to win it all, in spite of how they performed in the rest of the season, or if at all, how much of a lolcow they've been known for. It's also not unheard of for him to hand some praise to teams who lost in earlier rounds if said teams pulled noteworthy turnarounds or accomplished new milestones in their franchise's history during their run. Both the Colorado Avalanche (who made it to the NHL Playoffs one year after one of the worst seasons in league history, and even gave the Presidents' Trophy-winning Nashville Predators a run for their money while down their two best players) and the Winnipeg Jets (who KO'd the Preds and made the Conference Finals for the first time in the history of Winnipeg hockey) got some of this in "The Haters Guide to the 2018 Stanley Cup Finals", as well as the Minnesota Twins in "The Haters Guide to the 2017 World Series" and the Tampa Bay Rays in the 2019 edition.
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  • In his first lolcow video ever, "The Cleveland Browns: Professional Football's Lolcow", Tree makes it pretty clear that the Browns are the punchline for unabashed incompetence in sports. After spending most of the video making everyone laugh at all the crap they pull, he expresses his honest hope that the Browns, one day, will be the great franchise it once was.note 
  • His monologue on Marc-André Fleury in "The Haters Guide to the Vegas Golden Knights Expansion Draft", which cuts footage of the "Next Generation" video from the mid-2000s into the hype reel from the Expansion Draft telecast.
    UT: This one stings me a bit - not for his performance, but for more sentimental reasons. This guy was the last tie to the '03-'04 squad, the dark ages for the Pens. The team was absolutely awful, bankrupt and on the verge of moving to Kansas City. Fleury was the glimmer of hope for us that year. He was the future. It came eventually, but he struggled in the postseason for a bit. This year was a revival of sorts for him. Take care of him, Vegas, he's got at least a few years of starting left in him.
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  • After the Houston Astros won the 2017 World Series, Tree released a "Congrats, Astros!" video that, by his own admission, was "a bit different than the rest". Though the video starts with a montage of lowlights - every postseason series loss in their historynote  (with particular focus on Astros fielding gaffes and opposing batters scoring home runs), plus a few regular season embarrassmentsnote  - it concludes with the final out in Game 7 as the Astros defeat the Dodgers for their first ever World Series. As the players celebrate on the pitcher's mound and then in the locker room, instead of saying "Conglaturation!" in a mocking tone, the video says "Congratulations!" in a sincere tone. Although, it looks less sweet now that it's been revealed the Astros won by stealing the Dodgers' signs illegally.
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  • During "This Week in Sportsball: NFL Week 14", he dropped all pretenses of humor and snark when talking about Ryan Shazier's possible career-ending injury to his spine and neck:
    UT: The Steelers claim this victory in honor of Ryan Shazier, whom unfortunately seems to have suffered all but the worst-case scenario. At this rate, I don't even care if he comes back to the NFL; I just want him to be able to live a full and healthy life without limitations. And you should, too. This sort of thing always transcends the world of sport, regardless of team and affiliation, and it sucks to see such a great player be struck down in his prime. Take care, Ryan.
  • In "The Haters Guide to the 2017/18 NHL Western Conference: All-Star Edition", UT expressed his disgust with the Calgary Flames, not just for trying to squeeze the city of Calgary for every dime that it had to get a new arena, but because they waived "Old Man Jágr", sending him to a Czech hockey team, calling him a National Treasure.
    Caption: I don't care if he's slow and has nagging injuries. This hurts the feels.
  • In his "Congrats, Patriots!" video, after the Philadelphia Eagles won Super Bowl LII, there were a few shots of Big Name Fan eatdatpussy445 crying Tears of Joy from watching his team win. For all of the times that Tree has mocked EDP as a source of Cringe Comedy, it was a nice touch.
  • In the 2018 NBA Playoffs, the San Antonio Spurs were disposed of pretty easily by the eventual (back to back) champion Golden State Warriors. But as if that wasn't bad enough, head coach Gregg Popovich's wife Erin passed away the day before Game 3 of the series due to extended illness. In his Haters Guide to the 2018 NBA Finals, when he gets to the Spurs, the very last thing he does before moving on is to take a brief moment to send Popovich his condolences.
  • In a spiritual sequel to the "Congrats, Astros!" video from 2017, Tree released a "Congrats, Capitals!" video after the Washington Capitals won the 2018 Stanley Cup with a montage of past disappointments, including (almost) every postseason series loss in their history,note  followed by a montage of their successful Cup run. Tree has made no secret of his dislike of the Capitals - not just because they're division rivals of the Penguins, but also because he personally hates coach Barry Trotz and multiple Capitals players - but he was willing to set that aside to acknowledge the significance of the end of four and a half decades of heartache for Washington.
    [over footage of Alexander Ovechkin skating the traditional Stanley Cup winner's victory lap]
    The cycle is complete.
    The legacy of failure is broken.
    The memes are dead.
    May you drink my salt from the finest of Cups for generations.
    [under a Capitals logo] Congratulations!
  • "The Los Angeles Chargers: Professional Football's Diamond Dogs" takes a look at the rocky recent history of the Chargers, after being dragged to Los Angeles, a city whose denizens wanted the Raiders as their second team after the Rams returned, how they "played 16 away games" in the '17-18 season due to their meager stadium being mostly full of their opponent's fans, to how they may or may not be forced back to San Diego, to just how anyone who isn't ownership has just been jerked back and forth...
    UT: Do you want to know who I truly feel bad for in this situation? The players! They didn't ask for this! They didn't choose this fate for themselves! They merely wished to fulfill their childhood dreams of playing in the NFL. Little do they all know they are locked into a total quagmire. Let's say the Chargers get buyers' remorse and move back to San Diego. If you thought the attendance in StubHub was pathetic, wait until they return to Qualcom. Remember, their last game in that city was dominated by Chiefs' fans. San Diegans had enough of the Spanos family and their shit. The only way that San Diego reembraces the Chargers is if Dean Spanos is gone or walks around in a cardboard box. Even then, what are the options? LA doesn't want anything to do with them and the NFL will stubbornly try anything to make sure this venture isn't a failure. Remember, all but one team approved of this move, this slap in the face of every San Diegan by the league. This team is Metal Gear Survive: an entity that nobody wanted, that's years late on trends, and suffers deserved backlash as a result. They chased after a market that didn't have a football team in 20 years, and already has a team establishing dominance. Yet, many of their old players will forever rue their name or call them the San Diego Chargers.
  • Beginning with the 2018 NFL season, the ending segment of UT's "This Week in Sportsball" videos is dedicated to listing off the players who were injured over the past week while "Taps" plays in the background. The whole thing is treated as some kind of candlelight vigil and, satirical or not, works pretty well as a tribute to those who were injured. In the Week Six video, he expands on this by playing tolling bells to honor the deaths of Seattle Seahawks owner Paul Allen and San Diego/Los Angeles Chargers owner Alex Spanos, and also notes "There will be no fucking of Spanos today."note  This is repeated in Week Twelve when the Houston Texans' owner Bob McNair dies, and Week Two of the 2020 season with the deaths of former Chicago Bear Gayle Sayers and the father of the New England Patriots’ James White.
  • The end of Episode 7 of "Days of Our Steelers" has a message in memory of the victims of the Tree of Life Synagogue shooting, which happened in Tree's home city of Pittsburgh. It's treated fully serious — no sounds are played.
  • "Peterman: The Man Behind the Meme" examines the much-maligned Buffalo Bills quarterback Nathan Peterman's career, from his time in the University of Pittsburgh, where he became a powerhouse in their program, to being picked by the Bills, where he was thrown in over his head, not helped at all by an unhelpful Bills management. UT is genuinely hurt by Peterman's decline, hoping that he can recover somehow.
  • His 2018 "State of the Tree" video as a whole is this, between his sheer astonishment that so many people like his content to the revelation that he's finally become consistent enough after over a decade of video making to finally quit his waiter job and make videos full-time. The crowning moment, however, is his statement regarding his viewers, if not for how uncharacteristically sincere he is about it.
    UT: At the end of the day, all I can say is thank you. It's cheesy and cliche as hell, but I seriously can't say it enough. People like you are the fuel behind this channel. (Caption: No, those aren't tears. That's vodka.) You are the impetus of this shitposting machine. It doesn't matter if you're a subscriber or not, someone who comments or doesn't, a passerby, or a long-time watcher, the fact that you made it this far into this rambling is what gives you my utmost respect. (Caption: That or to see NHL '94. Don't blame you for that one.)
  • In "This Week in Sportsball: NFL Week Sixteen Edition (2018)", Tree takes a moment to express his genuine dismay at Patriots receiver Josh Gordon's struggles with mental health issues and his relapse into drug addiction, which had led to a second indefinite suspension by the NFL:
    UT: I would talk about how you [the Patriots] were the benefactor of an even weaker division than usual, but you have bigger pills to swallow. It involves Josh Gordon, the best receiver they have. He's taking a break from football to focus on his mental health and has been indefinitely suspended by the NFL. Again.
    Headlines: Report: Josh Gordon is dealing with "mental health and anxiety" issues
    Patriots' Josh Gordon suspended indefinitely by NFL
    Josh Gordon Reportedly Had Multiple Drug Policy Violations Before Suspension
    Report: Patriots Created A Security Team To Prevent Josh Gordon From Relapsing
    UT: He relapsed, despite a round-the-clock security detail the team had on him. All this story does is make me depressed. An amazing talent undone and wasted by his own demons. As a result, he may have played his last snap in the NFL. Mental illness is a fucking bitch, and I only wish for his recovery from whatever ails him. Sport never takes credence over this sort of thing. What a shame.
  • In "This Week in Sportsball: NFL Week Seventeen Edition (2018)", he highlights the end of legendary Buffalo Bills defensive tackle Kyle Williams' 13-year career, especially capping it off with an interception against the Miami Dolphins in a 42-13 blowout.
  • After the 2019 NFL conference championships, both of which were marred by controversial penalties, Tree decides that neither the Saints or the Chiefs deserve to be mocked, as their losses were not their own fault. Instead, he posts "Congrats, NFL!" to point out the officiating issues that have plagued the NFL in the 2018 season.
    UT: (via captions) The refball has always been bad. But never like this. It's now nearly every week with repeated incompetence. Player safety? What the fuck is that? ... These penalties and non-calls are what people think of when they think of the shield. And it's your own goddamm fault for it. The rules are too vague. Too many judgement calls. The refs have no idea what to call or not call because everyone's judgement differs. We knew it was going to irreparably ruin the outcome of a game. But in no way did we think it would be like this. ... The NFL completely deserves this controversy. This is what you get for inconsistent rule enforcement. All hail refball.
  • In "Revisiting the 2016 NHL Free Agent Class" Tree makes it clear that he does not blame the players involved for taking what to Tree are inflated contracts. As he states in a screen that appears for 8 seconds:
    I am not blaming the players in question for accepting these contracts.
    They have families to provide for. They're going to take the best offer available.
    If it were up to them, they'd rather still be performing at an elite level. Just saying.
  • In his video on the Los Angeles/St Louis Rams, who had just moved from St Louis, Tree spends the first part of the video mocking the Rams for their general mediocrity and terrible front-office decisions...and when he gets to the whole relocation debacle, he utterly tears into Stan Kroenke for completely screwing St Louis over, as well as representing the worst of NFL owners in general:
    UT: What truly makes this team a malignant tumor on the NFL, however, is their owner, Stan Kroenke, The longer you look into his history and actions as owner, the more you see him as a colossal piece of shit. Look at how the man cried crocodile tears for the past few seasons in order to get sympathy from the NFL; meanwhile, he trots around St Louis, going, "I love this town, I wanna keep the Rams where I grew up and tradition and dynasties and—FUCK THIS FUCKING CITY, THIS TOWN IS CANCER!" [multiple articles show up of the Rams' owner's proposal trashing St Louis and their stadium] Yes, what you are seeing is Kroenke throwing the entire city under the goddamm bus. Here's a theory, Stan: maybe the fans aren't coming out to see the Rams because they've been as lively as that fucking hairpiece of yours for the better part of a decade. Regardless, the city of St Louis offered you everything you wanted and then some, yet you still fuck them over at the eleventh hour and move to Los Angeles. St Louis, let's be honest, you're lucky he didn't accept. You don't deserve this man dangling you and your money by a string. He is a top hat and a twirly mustache away from being a stereotypical villain; not those cool ones, mind you, one of those cheesy Saturday morning cartoon villains who punch babies and close the orphanage for a few extra bucks! The worst part is, that description isn't too far off!
  • Tree's video on the AAF's demise tones down the snark in the SeatGeek promotion, claiming that the snark would be "rather tasteless". He continues to mention the effects on the demise on players and coaches, who were left without jobs, medical insurance or even flights home. Tree also attempts to defend Tom Dundon, stating that, for the shitty way he folded the league, without his help the league would have folded after a couple of weeks and that Charlie Ebersol and Bill Polian deserved more of the blame for the downfall.note 
  • In the same vein as "Congrats, Astros!" from 2017 and "Congrats, Capitals!" from 2018 came "Congrats, Blues!" from 2019 in honour of St. Louis' first Stanley Cup. As with the previous two videos, the first half is a montage of the franchise's history of heartbreak, with over two dozen playoff series defeats,note  a nod to the franchise's near relocation to Saskatoon in 1983 that required NHL intervention to overturn, and losses to the Blackhawks and Avalanche at the tail end of the 2017-18 regular season.note  For the second half of the video... cue Laura Branigan's cover of Umberto Tozzi's "Gloria" as the Blues beat the Jets in six games, the Stars in seven games (with the deciding game being won in double overtime with a goal from Patrick Maroon), the Sharks in six games, and finally the Bruins in seven games to claim the franchise's first ever Stanley Cup.
    [over footage of the Blues' celebrations, including watch parties in St. Louis at both Enterprise Center and Busch Stadium (in the pouring rain)]
    It is done
    Years of futility and cheap ownership finally vindicated
    The legacy of failure has finally ended
    A long struggling franchise finally has its moment
    And all it took was an unprecedented run
    Welcome to the Cup club, boys
    [under a Blues logo] Congratulations
  • After the death of Los Angeles Angels pitcher Tyler Skaggs, Tree briefly eulogized him and expressed sympathy for his teammates and family. As in the Pittsburgh synagogue shooting, it's treated seriously; the background music stops for the rest of the Angels' segment.
    UT: From a teammate perspective, I just don't know how you recover from losing one of your brothers. Even worse, he leaves behind family and friends way too early in life. For as much as we bitch about sports, life is far more precious. My condolences go out to the team and his family.
  • "Revisiting... The Indianapolis Colts" tones the down the snark, as Tree sees the sudden retirement of Andrew Luck and his continuous injuries as manifestations of the missteps of former Colts' GM Ryan Grigson and Colts owner Jim Irsay. As for Luck himself, Tree wishes for him to enjoy his retirement, and for success in Luck's future, ending with the clip of his game-winning touchdown pass against the Kansas City Chiefs during the 2013-14 AFC wildcard game, where the Colts overcame a 38-10 deficit and won 45-44.
  • "Days Of Our Steelers - Vanguished Leader of Men": Despite his harsh criticisms of Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger over the years, Tree still wishes Ben the best for him after suffering a season-ending injury in week 2 of the 2019 NFL season.
  • "Congrats, Dodgers!" is mostly unbridled vitriol directed at the title organisation after a seventh consecutive NL West title once again failed to translate into postseason glory despite the vast amounts of talent and money at their disposal, but Tree is far kinder to their conquerors in the 2019 NLDS, a team that inspired his then-longest "Legacy of Failure" video:
    UT: And you wanna know something? I'm happy for the Nationals. I was tired of that Groundhog Day meme. They've earned the right to move on to the NLCS.note 
  • After the Eagles' 2019-20 season that saw them lose games in ways as mortifying and embarrassing as they did, comes to an end against the Seahawksnote , he says he'll lay off from them because of the staggering amount of injuries they dealt with all around and how they had no business being in the postseason, yet stayed in it and did not give up to the very end.
  • In the Week 6 video of 2019's "This Week In Sportsball", although Tree's previous video "The Detroit Lions: The Franchise of Eternal Irrelevance" savagely skewered the Lions for their futility in the Super Bowl era, Tree sympathizes with the Lions, emphatically stating that the NFL needlessly deprived the Lions of a deserved win against the Green Bay Packers thanks to not one but two questionable calls which set the Packers up for a game-winning field goal. It gets even sadder since this loss sent the Lions into a downward spiral through the rest of the season, losing all but one of their remaining games.
  • "The Haters Guide to the 2019 NFL Season: Debriefing" ends with a tribute to the late Lakers star Kobe Bryant, after the segment on the Los Angeles Rams (where he avoids making a joke about burying the team in the new SoFi Stadium). The last video clip that's seen is a moment of silence held before the New York Knicks-Brooklyn Nets game held on the day of Bryant's death, and the video avoids the usual ending video clip, fading to black as the moment of silence ends.
    This is still hard for me to believe.
    I wasn't even a fan of his, and it's hard to swallow.
  • Continuing the line of heartwarming Congrats videos is "Congrats, Chiefs! (2020)". Once again, the first half is a montage of the Chiefs' postseason defeats and embarrassing moments since winning Super Bowl IV,note  interspersed with Andy Reid's defeats as the video advances.note  The second half is packed full of the Chiefs' highlights throughout the 2019-20 postseason to the tune of Wilbert Harrison's "Kansas City"note .
    [over footage of the Chiefs scoring 21 unanswered points in the fourth quarter of Super Bowl LIV to go from trailing 20-10 to leading 31-20, followed by Andy Reid raising the Lombardi Trophy]
    Another one bites the dust.
    A half-century of failure brings about redemption.
    It also marks the end of another certain legacy of failure
    Andy Reid. Finally breaking the curse and winning it all.
    Good work. Now go and eat the best damn cheeseburger you've ever had.
    I think you'll be back here soon enough. What with Patrick Mahomes as QB.
    [under a Chiefs logo] Congratulations!
  • Towards the end of A Yinzer At Spring Training: Tales of Clumsiness and Clickbait Tree gives shoutouts and thanks to everyone who came with him to the games, but at the end he especially thanks the Miami Marlins for allowing remarkable levels of access during the game, even giving him a seat to watch from the dugout. Even though they're a team that he's mocked and called out for their mismanagement, fire sales and repeated tanking, he still gives them credit for going above and beyond to be as hospitable and professional as they could.
  • "Marty Schottenheimer: A Legacy of Pain" spends its first 11 minutes looking at Schottenheimer's failures in the playoffs, but after his firing from the San Diego Chargers in 2007, Tree expresses his remorse that, for all the well-run teams Schottenheimer headed, most of those playoff failures were not his fault, citing the massive amounts of bad luck and miscues that had prevented him from getting to the Super Bowl. He ends the video with Schottenheimer's time with the United Football League's Virginia Destroyers. The Destroyers win the 2011 UFL Championship, finally giving Schottenheimer some form of victory.
    UT: He technically resigned from the team due to contract issues and he wasn't getting paid, but let's pretend he had a storybook ending. I think that's what's best here.

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