“It’s exactly like Braveheart, except it’s a hairdressing movie set in modern times, most of its indoors and nobody gets killed”.
The Big Tease is a 1999 comedy film starring Craig Ferguson and directed by Kevin Allen, with screenplay by Craig Ferguson and Sacha Gervasi.
The story follows Crawford Mackenzie, a Glasgow hairdresser who, while being filmed by Martin Samuels as part of a fly-on-the-wall BBC documentary, is invited to the World Hairdresser International Federation's annual Platinum Scissors Contest. The documentary team follows Crawford to Los Angeles, where they discover that Crawford's invitation is for him to be a member of the audience rather than a competitor. Having spent a rather large sum of money just to get there, Crawford does not accept this state of affairs. Using charm, Blatant Lies and The Power of Friendship, he learns to jump the many hurdles that Monique Geingold (organizer of the contest) and competitor (and idol turned Arch-Nemesis) Stig Ludwigsen throw in front of his dream. Along the way he receives the help of Candy Harper (Sean Connery's publicist), Eamonn his limo driver, and various other L.A. folk.
This movie contains examples of:
- As Himself: Drew Carey, David Hasselhoff, Cathy Lee Crosby, Veronica Webb, José Eber and Bruce (now Caitlyn) Jenner appear as themselves.
- Awkward Kiss: Crawford and Gareth kissing good-bye at the Glasgow Airport. Well, Crawford's mother IS standing right there....
- Badass Boast: Crawford agrees that he is the Red Adair
of Hair. And then he proves it with Candy. - Bad News, Irrelevant News: Monique tells Crawford that he cannot be in the competition, but she will bump up his seating in the audience so that he's sitting between two celebrities.
- Beneath Notice: Stig's attitude toward Crawford, until near the end of the movie.
- Bookends: The opening and closing scenes of the movie are scenes of Crawford from Martin's documentary.
- Breaking the Fourth Wall: Footage shown from the documentary often does this.
- Brief Accent Imitation: Crawford fakes Sean Connery's voice over the phone to Senator Warren Crockett (who is a friend of Sean's) so that Crawford can meet with the Senator to try to convince him to compete in the competition.Senator Crockett: That was the worst Sean Connery impression I have ever heard!
- Career Versus Man: Candy keeps her career over her philandering husband. Never a doubt.
- Caught in the Bad Part of Town: When Crawford, Martin and their cameraman is driven by Eamonn to the home of the person who sold Crawford his car, they get caught in the crossfire of a gun fight.
- Chance Meeting Between Antagonists: Stig and Crawford at the restaurant.
- The City: Los Angeles.
- Creator Provincialism: The movie is about a Scot who leaves Glasgow for Los Angeles. Craig Ferguson is originally from Glasgow and now works and lives in Los Angeles.
- The Dandy: Crawford.
- The Driver: Eamonn. Becomes a friend and an ally to Crawford as well.
- Eiffel Tower Effect: When Crawford is walking along the beach next to the Santa Monica Pier.
- Eternally Pearly-White Teeth: Crawford, and how!
- Group Hug: Crawford and the animal mascot actors.
- Has a Type: Crawford explaining why he's not aroused by Candy:Crawford: I like women who have a penis.
- Hoist by His Own Petard: If only Stig hadn't cheated, he might have still won. However, he loses and goes back to Sweden to be a fisherman.
- Honest John's Dealership: Where Crawford buys his car. Oops.
- Improbable Hairstyle: The Platinum Scissors Competition is full of these. Crawford's creation has fireworks!
- Insufferable Genius: Stig.
- In Touch with His Feminine Side: Crawford and Eamonn.
- Jumped at the Call: Subverted in that 'the call' is not what Crawford thinks it is.
- Just in Time: Crawford finishes his hair creation just in time, despite Stig's sabotage.
- Landing Gear Shot: Shown when Crawford, Martin and the cameraman arrive in L.A.
- Left It In: While filming, Martin enters Crawford's hotel room to wake him up, only to discover that Crawford is not sleeping alone.
- They continue filming Duncan despite his 'shoo!'ing gestures.
- Man in a Kilt: Crawford at the L.A. gay bar.
- Masculine Girl, Feminine Boy: Candy and Crawford.
- Millionaire Playboy: Senator Crockett is shown as this, complete with large estate, silk bathrobe and beautiful women.
- Mockumentary: The movie is often this.
- My Hair Came Out Green: Stig's sabotage ploy during the competition.
- Neck Lift: Stig does this to his assistant.
- Never Trust a Hair Tonic: Crawford rants about this during his Sherlock Scan of Candy's hair.
- Not a Morning Person: Crawford when he's hung over.
- Power Hair: Candy has this after Crawford works his hairdressing magic on her.
- Refuge in Audacity: How Crawford befriends Candy, gets himself a meeting with the Senator, and gets into the competition.
- Removing the Rival: Stig tries to do this to Crawford.
- "Risky Business" Dance: Martin films Crawford dancing without his trousers.
- Shout-Out: Stig is a shout-out to Fabio.
- Small Name, Big Ego: How the people in L.A. see Crawford when he first gets there.
- Spiky Hair: Crawford.
- Theme Park: Crawford's first L.A. gig is at one... to style animal mascot costumes.
- Uncomfortable Elevator Moment: Duncan, the hotel manager, wants to speak to Crawford about his bill. He's trying not to alarm Crawford but the camera crew is freaking him out.
- Tall, Dark, and Handsome: Crawford, in a Camp Gay and dorky way.
- The Unfettered: Stig.
- Unknown Rival: Crawford both idolizes and resents Stig for his success. Stig doesn't even know Crawford exists.
