- 8-Bit Theater:
- Red Mage is freaking out about the security of their barracks; that is, their tents.Red Mage: We're defenseless! We could be wiped out by a horde of orcs or a legion of undead! Or, terror of terrors, a legion of hordes of undead orcs!
- In another, the Light Warriors are discussing how their situation could be worse.Fighter: We could be on fire.
Black Mage: On fire...
Thief: Or drowning.
Fighter: Or drowning in fire.
- Red Mage is freaking out about the security of their barracks; that is, their tents.
- In Monster of the Week Mulder and Scully's argument on what this week's monster is ends like that.Scully: Mutants!
Both: Mutant aliens!
- Narbonic: When Helen's considering the best way to destroy everyone at her high school reunion...Helen: The only question is the method. Poison? Explosives? Acid?
Dave: Poisonous exploding acid.
Helen: Of course!
- Penny Arcade:
- This strip:Tycho: No, seriously... What are you doing in there?
Hobo: Touching myself. Touching the rats. Touching myself with the rats.
- Also seen in this one. Tycho didn't plan for a witch with a dog.
- Things Scott Kurtz doesn't want to see in their guest comics for PvP. "Ordinarily, I wouldn't feel the need to be that specific."
- This strip:
- Ctrl+Alt+Del has Ethan debating on whether to drink beer or soda, and promptly invented Beersoda.
- .Memoria, here: diamonds and strippers and diamond strippers and stripper diamonds.
- Times Like This: "What would you like... Pizza? Barbeque? Chicken? Barbeque Chicken Pizza?"
- The Order of the Stick:
Roy: I'm sure [your dream] involved a lot of stabbing, and whores, and whores stabbing whores who stab whores.
- In strip #125 Belkar lists several halfling games: "Throw the Rock, Throw the Stick, Throw the Rock and then the Stick Shortly Thereafter..."
- This exchange between Roy and the polearm shopkeeper in strip 136. The shopkeeper answers "No" to the first 5 and closes with "I think you're drifting into another sketch, sir" — the strip's title acknowledges the whole thing as a Monty Python shout-out.Roy: Glaive? Guisarme? Glaive-Guisarme? Guisarme-Glaive? Glaive-Guisarme-Glaive? Glaive-Glaive-Glaive-Guisarme-Glaive?
- When Elan meets Malack the first time, he thinks he is dead and Malack is The Grim Reaper:Elan: AHHH! It's the grim reaper! The lizard grim reaper! The lizgreaper!!
- Tarquin tells Elan that he will hold a festival:Elan: With clowns?
Tarquin: And jugglers!
Elan: And clown-jugglers, who juggle tiny clowns?
Tarquin: Of course!
- Warning: link leads to spoilery strip.
- After Belkar's pet Allosaurus is hit by a Baleful Polymorph spell that turns it into a common lizard, he refers to it as "The dinosaur! The lizard! The lizard that used to be a dinosaur!"
- When Roy says most of the things Elan says pass straight through his head, Elan illustrates the point with "Like a ghost! Or a phase spider! Or the ghost of a phase spider!"
- Basic Instructions:
- On how to eliminate clutter:Missy: It's like living in a thrift store.
Scott: Yeah, or a Russian sub.
Missy: NO, wait! It's like a thrift store built in a Russian sub!
- As well as the advice on how to balance good and evil — do good, but in the most evil way possible.Good Angel: You should give that kid some candy.
Bad Angel: Yes! Throw the candy at his head!
- On how to eliminate clutter:
- In this Scenes From A Multiverse, when discussing the perks of interdimensional rock stardom:Interviewer: You had it all! Money! Groupies! Moupies!
- Hiimdaisy: "Knife. Gun. KNIFEGUN.◊"
- Something*Positive: "What should we do first? Strip club? M.M.A.? The zoo? Stripper M.M.A. cage matches at the zoo?"
- Tweep: "There are no cannibals or psychos or psycho cannibals in town."
- It gives us this:"I'm defending my thesis tomorrow. I have to prepare."
"Defending it from whom? Communists? Bears? Communist bears? Ninjas? Ninjas on unicycles?"
- ... and also this:Imagine watching the world's finest talents at inventing a game. That's an Olympics I'd like to see. Nation against nation. Athletes, nerds, and nerd-athletes alike take the field to create something marvelous.
- It gives us this:
- The sequence "Robots? Clones? Robot clones?" has come up multiple times in Sam & Fuzzy.
- Girl Genius:
- "What now?! More Jaegers? Orphans? Jaeger orphans?"
- The Fashion Clank describing his vision for Jaegar costuming:Fashion Clank: I see armor! Spikes! Spiked armor! Spikes on armor on spikes!
And skulls everywhere! Yes! Skulls on spikes! Spikes on skulls — on spikes!
- Fletcher of Antics is not afraid of lions, or sharks, or guns, or lions with guns that shoot sharks out of them.
- In Scary Go Round, after the mayor has learned that Tackleford is going to be visited by brutal communist robots:Shelly: You don't look very happy, Mr. Mayor.
Mayor: That's because when I close my eyes, all I can see is flame. And skeletons. And skeletons on fire.
- El Goonish Shive:
- Elliot tries to warn a movie rental customer that the movie he wants to rent is really bad, but the customer dismisses his advice completely and rents it anyway.Elliot: He's doomed.
Susan: He's an ass.
Elliot: He's a doomed ass.
- In a short Fallout parody story, the Writer's Block's robot butler tries to talk him out of specializing in unarmed combat.Clodsworth: FISTCUFFS?! Are you sure? You do realize that there are guns, mutants, and mutants with guns out there, don't you?
- Elliot tries to warn a movie rental customer that the movie he wants to rent is really bad, but the customer dismisses his advice completely and rents it anyway.
- In Rusty and Co., Plaidbeard complains of his opponents:Plaidbeard: ...razzafrazzin' heroes...
...razzafrazzin' mimic heroes...
- In Academia, after Stephen tells his professor that his roommate owns a pet octopus.Prof. Sun: Kids today with their rap music and their iPods and their cephalopods and their... cephaloiPods...
- In Questionable Content, Faye's list of bad reasons to love someone.Faye: If you loved them because you were both racist in the same way. Or because of all their murders. Or because you were in their cult. Their racist murdercult.
- Adolescent Matt, in a Dork Tower strip, to his future fairy: "Will my future be full of sex? And robots? And hot future sex robots?" Yes, in the form of sex spambots.
- The Garfield parody Square Root of Minus Garfield does it as well in #1452 "Names".Jon: [reading from book] Jon Arbuckle: idiot, moron, idiotic moron, dork. @#$%?!
- Bonnie of Allen the Alien says she's "unironic, vain, unironivain, vainunironic".
- In Dragon Mango, when the The Professor visits an ancient library, one shelf has "Book of Evil", "Book of Magic", and "Book of Evil Magic".
- In The Trenches, when Isaac saws through the lunch room floor, Cora tells him he could cut into "wires, pipes, [or] conduits, which are basically wire pipes".
- This xkcd strip. "Bees!" "Tires." "Bees with tires!" "Whatever."
- Sequential Art: Art's PC has literally exploded after he tried playing Far Cry on it. When the PC clinic rep assesses the damage, he refers to what's left as "charcoal or dust or dusty charcoal".
- From Slice of Life, while trying to find a magic tutor for Pumpkin Cake, Pinkie Pie asks around for ideas for a Nightmare Night costume. She ends up combining all the ideas she gets into one.Pinkie Pie: I'm the ghost of a fairy princess pumpkin! Who was also a witch.
- From Wilde Life: "Oh, shit. Oh, fuck. Oh, shit-fuck."
- Brawl in the Family: Oh no, Fake Kraid! Oh no, Real Kraid! Oh no, Real Fake Kraid!
- Blank It: "We'll be the rulers! The kings! The rulers of kings!"
- An Arthur, King of Time and Space strip where Merlin is outlining his radical politics: "Everyone deserves self-determination. Even the commons. Even women. Even common women!"
- Ménage à 3 has some confusion over whether Kiley is Matt's "therapist" or "fuckbuddy".Matt: My fuckapist!
Kiley: "Therabuddy" sounds a little less unprofessional...
- Axe Cop: At the end of "The Songster", Flute Cop sees the Songster singing in a cheap commercial and muses that he's kind of glad that Axe Cop didn't chop off the Songster's head, because he sold out and that's worse than dying. Axe Cop lifts up the Songster's severed head and explains that he chopped his head off after he sold out.
- Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal: A woman is lying on a bed, caught under a bathtub that fell from the floor above. A man is saying something.Best case scenario for what he's saying: "The paramedics are on their way!"
Worst case scenario: "It's okay. I'm still turned on."
Bonus punchline, very best scenario: "The paramedics are here, and we're all turned on."
- Toothpaste For Dinner: Someone thinks they have a computer virus. Their search history contains "clown butt", "clown butthole", "mime starfish", and "clown mime butt".
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