Upon being denied a refund, this woman recognizes that she's getting upset and extracts herself from the situation before she can explode. The dumbfounded employee lampshades that she's the first customer who's just left rather than throw a tantrum.
This grocery store customer, having not worked in retail for years, realized that she became one of those customers when she failed to notice two signs with specific instructions on them.
Stories where a customer attempts to scam a store by, for instance, paying for a small purchase with a ten-dollar bill and then claiming they gave the cashier a twenty instead and are being short-changed, were absurdly common for a period in November 2013. Enough that in almost every one of them the employees are already familiar enough with the scam that they never fall for it.
Get Out: Many stories involve the employees or manager asking an unruly customer to leave (nicely at first). All too often, the unruly customer in question requires the threat of force (or, in some cases, actual force) before they leave the premises.
Grammar Nazi: This customer is either fishing for any excuse for failing to comprehend the cashier, or is completely and utterly incapable of parsing a sentence that isn't constructed in a certain way.
Greed: The primary motivator of a lot of these customers, who will turn into liars, cheats, and bullies for the chance of a (usually pretty minor) discount.
Hanlon's Razor: Most of the examples are pretty clear, but some are really difficult to decide whether the Jerkass customer is trying to cheat the cashier, is a real-life Troll doing it for shits and giggles, or if the customer is just plain stupid.
This example lends credence to the "Customer is a troll" theory. He's complaining that the dirt the landscaping company dropped off is "too dirty". That's right, his dirt is too dirty.
Heteronormative Crusader: This guy inverts this trope and combines it with Conspiracy Theorist. Apparently, the terrorists are intent on destroying the United States because of the gay people there. So what does the guy think the US should do? Have everyone become gay so they stop giving birth to the terrorists, of course!
Very disturbingly inverted with this woman. "I want to make my son gay. I would love to have a gay child. I'm very open minded!" She intends to make her son gay by exposing him to pornography.
In general, there's a large amount of customers who outright refuse to listen to or acknowledge what the employee is telling them, usually to continue to demand a particular product or service that the employee is directly informing them isn't available... and then berate the employee for not listening to them when their demands are unmet. Such as this chap.
This person wanted an extremely rare steak, and then, when the meat was uncooked, proceeded to say, "I am not eating anywhere that sells food raw! Come on honey, let's go to that sushi place next door!"
This guy walks into a adult store in L.A. He is shocked to see that the cashier is a woman, and immediately shouts that she should Stay in the Kitchen, and then calls her a heathen for having a wife, and then immediately forgets the entire incident and asks her if they stock Bibles. In an adult store. Like the title of that quote says, "Only In L.A."
When a customer overhears an employee tell someone else that a theater is being cleaned, she mishears "Cleansed," and begins to shout how she doesn't want to be in a theater that practices all that "New age spiritual witchcraft stuff." And then goes to see Season of the Witch.
This woman insists on no bags in the name of the environment. She drives an SUV.
This person asks a worker which aisle the chips are located. Despite the worker repeatedly pointing to the chips display right in the aisle they're in, the customer keeps asking for the aisle number, and the worker eventually relents and gives the aisle number. What makes the customer a hypocrite is that she returns and chews the worker out for not saying that the chips were right there. She should try listening next time.
This man complains about a non-caffeinated drink, claiming that the pizza place must have put caffeine in it. What does he get for a replacement? A caffeinated drink.
This gabber holds up a checkout line by talking on her cell phone, and not listening to the cashier when prompted for extra information. When the cashier finally gives up and moves on to the next customer, the gabber has the gall to call the cashier rude! Yes, that's rude, and holding up the checkout line for five minutes and ignoring the cashier isn't. Flawless logic, that.
This person completely flips out when the caller slightly mispronounces a location name and messes up the person's nationality, but insists that South Africa is also Zimbabwe. They'll correct others' mistakes, but refuse to admit when they've got it wrong.
This person refuses to buy a hair treatment product that was used and requests an unopened bottle... even though she was the one to use it.
This woman touches some cotton candy despite a sign saying not to. The worker says that she has to buy it... but she doesn't want to, because she touched it. What.
This woman criticizes an adult woman for buying Pokémon, but says no one has the right to criticize her for buying her nine-year-old son a Grand Theft Auto game since her purchases are no one else's business.
This skateboarder refuses to let a specific employee touch his board solely because she's female, then threatens to sue them for discrimination when they kick him out for insulting the employees. As the coworker who forced him out puts it, "Yeah, good luck with that, mate."
Oh it's even better than that, the rude customer was threatening to sue for discrimination because he was black - when the worker that threw him out was also black.
A customer castigates another customer for ordering at a fast food restaurant because "All the food here is crap!"... Then they order something too.
This one customer complains that she's in a big hurry, and has somewhere she needs to be, wishing the customer in front of her would just hurry up. When it's her turn in line, she then spends the next ten minutes counting out her entire purchase in loose change. And the "somewhere she needs to be in a big hurry"? The lamppost just outside so she can talk on her cellphone.
This guy goes off on a spiel about how his family has owned every pharmacy in town for a century, and how his family has more money than the entire mall he's in, because they don't accept checks anymore. When he shuts up long enough to try using a credit card, it is promptly declined.
Works like a charm for this woman. But not on the employee.
This girl attempts one. It goes downhill from there.
This girl tries one too. It doesn't work, because the cashier is gay. Even if he hadn't been, her dad saw the whole thing.
I Need to Go Iron My Dog: Many examples. Some people don't even have any sort of excuse and just run away in embarrassment.
I Never Said It Was Poison: This customer is asked to have his bag inspected after a camera was stolen. He immediately flies off the handle at the security guard for daring to accuse him of stealing a camera - forgetting that the guard only ever referred to it as a "stolen item".
Among other contradictory excuses, this doctor claims that the dogs he may or may not have never attacked anybody. The caller hadn't mentioned anything about dogs.
That's also ignoring the fact that pre-marital sex and wedlock, by definition, require you to not be married in the first place. As the employee's coworker said, "I don't think she thought about what she just said at all."
In this story, a customer pays for their movie ticket with pre-counted change held inside a roll of electric tape. Naturally, it takes much longer than necessary for the cashier to count out the change - and then the other customer has the gall to try and file a complaint over how long it took when that is entirely their fault. Which, of course, the complaining customer cannot possibly wrap his mind around, as when he is told by a manager that the cashier could have denied them service at any time over this, he reacts by glaring at that cashier as though they did.
This customer starts castigating a cashier at a Christian bookstore for said store being open on Sundays. After a bit of back-and-forth, the cashier asks her how she would buy the things she herself is trying to buy on a Sunday if the store wasn't open. Unlike the last time this sort of exchange happened, though, the customer is only briefly stunned by this question before she responds, "It doesn’t matter! You should be closed on Sundays! Now do your job and ring me up!"
Inverted Trope: Most of the stories are about customers doing stupid things. Occasionally, however, it'll be the employees who goof up. Like this one, when a man with a limp comes in and asks for something "for support." The employee takes him toward the knee braces, when he asks how they help support the testicles. She politely points him toward the jock straps. note It's still partially the customer's fault for not being specific in the first place.
Is That Cute Kid Yours?: More so "why the hell are you having kids?", there are cases where a customer sees another person with a child and berates them for having children at a young age. In nearly every case, the customer is so wrong.
Like here. A woman accuses a 15-year-old babysitter of having a child after seeing the babysitter and the three-year-old neighbor being watched in the park. Never mind that it would have been impossible for them to be parent and child, given the ages. Also,notthe same nationality.
Luckily, the younger sister of this sibling pair points out the age problem and puts the nosy customer in their place.
Another kid shaming attempt here, but an employee intervenes and allows the accused to set the whole record straight. Amusingly, the employee was only expecting something along the lines of "none of your business".
Here too. Turns out, the kids are hers, but she's very well off.
In one case, an employee is corrected on the pronunciation of bruschetta. In Italian, the letters "sch" would be spoken like the "sk" in "skate", while the employee pronounced it like the German "sch". The customer, however, comes off as a bit of a jerk...and to top it off, he still got it wrong. The proper pronunciation (like every language, it varies by dialect and region) of "bruschetta" is broo-sket-ta (the customer said "bra-sket-ta").
This customer falls victim to a series of location names not pronounced the way he sees them spelled.
This man asks for "animal paint", and completely loses his shit when an employee - specifically, a female one - dares to suggest he meant something else.
This woman believes that her Porsche gives her the right to take two parking spaces at once and be exempt from any penalties that normally incur.
Taken to the extreme in this story — the customer decides that because she can't find a parking space anywhere, it's perfectly acceptable to smash her SUV into a storefront and leave it there. When it's towed away later, she seems to think that it gives her the right to smash the store's interior because she thought they took it. To top it all off, when she's arrested for the property damage and shoplifting, that somehow means that customer service was terrible and she's entitled to a gift card! The store probably lost enough fixing everything already — if anything, she should be paying them.
This woman demands a bookstore employee help her take the books to her car, after refusing bags and being fully aware that the employee is the only one there, needing to attend to other customers as well.
This person calls 911 just because their phone was shut off. Never mind how they called in the first placenote If you're curious, it's federal law in the US. — they fail to understand the true purpose of 911.
This man barges into a store after it closed because, as he puts it, it's an emergency. He rushes off after being let in, ignoring the employees who wanted to help him. What does he get? Lube, chips, and wine. To top it all off, he calls the manager impatient for rushing back to help him, like he just can't understand why they might be so.
This mother goes to the emergency room because her daughter had irregular periods and she had "the zits". Clearly, treating them is way more important than people who, say, had been in a car accident.
This asshole decides that she wants an audio-book another library-goer already reserved, with a sticker on it and everything. What does she do? Rip the sticker off and try to check it out anyway. She manages to kick up a fuss and get the audio book nearly taken away due to it being "broken", but the original reserver manages to set the whole thing straight and get the audio-book checked out under her name. Despite all this, the sticker-ripper has the gall to ask for it anyway!
This bridesmaid who wanted to upstage her sister at her own wedding by wearing a more attractive dress than the other bridesmaids, even thought they're supposed to dress the same.
This customer complains that the Xbox One and PlayStation 4, which hadn't even been announced at the time of the story, aren't available for pre-order. To wit: "Why can’t the f*** company just release the new consoles when I want them?! Stupid a**-holes! They should be doing what I want; I’m the paying customer!"
This tourist in Scotland, upon being denied access to a palace because a member of the British Royal Family is staying there that day for a homecoming procession, shouts that they should have known that specific tourist was coming there for that day only and rescheduled the procession for the next day.
This tourist doesn't feel well, so she calls the local hospital in England to see if she can arrange an appointment that day. That's fine. The weird part is that she's calling from a cruise ship in the Caribbean, but she still wants to see her doctor today. When told she can't see the doctor today since she's hundreds of miles away out of the country, she demands to know why the doctor can't just fly out to meet her. Yeah, it's not that simple.
This customer doesn't like an employee's new hair color, and so tells her to dye it back to its original color right now.
A rather disturbing instance here: a person in a hospital overhears another patient who can't speak above a whisper due to her illness, promptly assumes she's gossiping about him (since his son is there due to swallowing a rock), and as such threatens her with physical violence every time she says anything.
This woman, upon being told that a cobbler who rented space in the store has retired, claims that a different one five minutes away from the store is too far. Also crosses over with They Just Dont Get It, refusing to accept that said cobbler did not actually work for the store.
This woman tries to argue that workers should not have holidays like Thanksgiving off to spend with their families, because then "more important" families like the customer's won't be able to buy things.
This woman expects a library to call her the night before a book she's rented is due rather than keep track of that herself. She also pointedly says that they can't email her, they have to call her.
Often. Here's one that isn't even being selfish, just spiteful.
Here's another one. Hard not to feel bad for the guy's daughter.
Minor example here. A customer is asked to please not steal from the tip jar. His reply? "Too late. It's happening."
And another — an employee asks a customer to help make change for a hundred dollar bill; the customer agrees, then rips the bill in half.
This customer, too. More than twenty items in the 20-or-less items lane? Yep. Mouthing off people who try to make their kids behave? Yep. Encouraging the kid when he throws a heavy object at the cashier's face, causing them injury, and further saying they don't deserve to be treated with respect? Oh yeah. The worst part is, they got away before anyone could arrest their asses. One can only hope karma will bite hard later.
This mother's response to her son almost ramming a heavy cart into a worker? "Don’t worry sweetie. You’ll get him next time!" You heard that right — she's out to deliberately injure decent people.
This mother drags her sick kid to a coffee shop and keeps him there despite the kid's and other customers' protests, to the point where the kid throws up in the middle of the store. She gets a free coffee, and before leaving has the gall to say "See you tomorrow!" She's willing to repeatedly demean and traumatize her kid for a fucking drink. You can't get much more rotten than that.
This man throws some roaches at a pool employee to freak them out. Worse yet, he implies that he's going to try to scare them even more, which drives them to quit their job.
This asshole asks where the canned food is, but despite getting a response, refuses to do anything until the worker actually walked over to the aisle and looked themselves. After they went through that, the jackass doesn't even thank them and says “Fuck you, retard!” instead. He seems to believe two things — that workers are somehow incompetent even if they've worked there for a while, and they don't deserve to be treated with respect.
This husband and wife literally walk around the local grocery store just to insult the people they walk by.
These two guys here for trying to frame innocent people, but the wheelchair-bound person especially so. Deliberately taking advantage of other peoples' courtesy is quite low.
How does this asshole thank a fast food worker for keeping her health in mind? Throw her meal at the worker, causing major harm to their face. She just then walks out without any regard to the worker's well-being. Presumably, everyone else there was so stunned by her monstrous behavior that they didn't stop her either.
Go read those labels for me! What, I can read them myself? No way! Clearly, you're lazy and don't have enough to do between your regular duties so I'm going to be an asshole about it!
This customer takes a phone from a worker's hands and tries to "fix" it, despite having no idea what he's doing. In the end, he smashes the phone on the ground and just walks out, saying that the thing is broken beyond repair.
This customer decides that a man using an electric scooter isn't crippled, even though he is crippled, and throws him off the scooter. When the manager comes and throws her out, she claims that this was unjust, vandalizes the store, and later files a complaint! Luckily, neither the manager nor the man ever saw her in the store again.
This criminal, upon realizing that he returned a rental truck too late and would be charged extra, tried to take the keys back. He attacked the worker and swiped the keys right out of their hand, cutting it. The police were called, but the worst part was that they wouldn't press charges because the criminal wasn't trying to hurt the worker — he was just trying to get the keys. Yes, he didn't mean to smash his shoulder into a worker and slice their hand open, he just wanted the keys. The keys he was supposed to return. To sum it up, he assaulted another person, tried to steal a company's property, and thanks to some corrupt cops, got away with it. One can only hope karma bites him hard later on.
This man is so blatantly racist, he refused to even speak to anyone not white. Too bad the employee he did decide to flag down was half Native-American, who quickly ejected the man off the premises.
This guy starts with Insane Troll Logic and escalates every time he's caught in a lie. When he calls the police and the operator refuses to talk to take his call because he's not part of the library staff, he makes up a bomb threat.
This asshole, after having her lie exposed, harms a ten-year old girl in a fast-food restaurant, traumatizing the girl so much that she never returns to the restaurant. You can't stoop much lower than this.
This group of mothers who freeload at a restaurant and care not one bit that their daughters are making a mess of the place.
In this story, the submitter is given too much change, and upon returning it is thanked by the cashier, who tells him that she could have lost her job over it. The customer behind the submitter, despite clearly hearing all of this, immediately asks the submitter to give the extra money to him instead, since he "actually works for his money" or some other self-centered reasoning like that.
This customerkicks an employee who doesn't respond to her immediately (the employee has both hearing loss and vision problems on their right side, and the customer was whispering their request), and then tries to claim that the employee kicked her instead. It all falls apart when the submitter speaks up for the coworker; the asshole customer is thrown out, corporate hangs up on her when she calls to complain, and then when she for some reason calls the cops on the store, they review the security footage and nearly arrest her.
This asshole acts extremely discourteous to a nine-months pregnant woman, butting past her to get into a bathroom she was just about to use, reasoning that some other bathrooms were not too far for her to walk to.
The beginning of this one could practically count as a heartwarming moment, when the customer at a drive-thru chooses to leave a blank check to cover the bill of whomever came next. Unfortunately, the beneficiary turns it into a Moment of Jerkass when, upon learning this, he orders a ton of food and gift cards, to the tune of well over $100.
This doctor, who continuously reminds everyone that she's a doctor and is above everyone else, forces her way into a scholarship fund dinner despite being late for reservations, has the gall to demand a discount, is rude and egotistical in person, and doesn't even bother donating to the scholarship the dinner was for.
Jerkass Realization: There are a few instances where the customer realizes that they've been a complete jerk to others and make up for it.
This customer humiliates a server in front of a crowd of people because she's never seen a $2.00 bill before. He returns later to apologize.
This caller, after berating a medical office worker for following procedure, calls back to apologize for her behavior and say that she understood why the procedure was like that.
This hotel guest felt so bad about flipping out at an employee that the guest told the employee's boss about the situation, resulting in a raise and a complimentary penthouse stay for the employee.
This woman, who was convinced that a coworker who saved her kid's life was attempting to kidnap him. The next day, she comes back and apologizes, thanks him, and gives a glowing review to his boss.
This customer chews out a woman who parked in a handicapped space, assuming that the woman was perfectly fine and just taking advantage of the privilege. Once the woman rattles off a list of disorders that she has, the customer later on apologizes for her behavior and even offers further help.
This man, after realizing that he was mistaken about a fast-food promotion and acted quite out of line towards an employee and manager for it, comes back and offers to buy a meal for them.
This kid acts hostilely towards a store employees, and decides to steal something in revenge. After the employee calls him, he realizes the error of his ways and returns the item, and becomes a more polite regular of the store.
This twentysomething man cuts off another person in a parking lot, parking in a handicapped space, despite his car having no such privilege. Once he sees that the person he cut off is a 96-year-old-woman, he helps her into the store.
A customer who flips out at an employee returns a few days later to apologize for her behavior.
This customer insults their driver over being a male with long hair, but after the driver explains he donates his hair every year to Locks of Love, the customer apologizes (since he had lost his son to cancer).
This guy chases out someone who was being verbally abusive to an employee while having a bad day and having lost his job. Karma kicks in for him almost immediately when the person behind him pays for both their drinks and tells him they have a job opening for a computer technician, a job he gladly takes.
This university shop worker covers for a customer's remaining payment. It turns out the customer had some connections in high places, and the worker is treated to an in-person viewing of Leonardo di Caprio.
This employee fixes a customer's laptop very quickly and charges nothing for it. The customer returns later with a case of beer as thanks.
A man acted belligerently towards a bank for a long time to bully some interest refunds out of them. On this particular call, he threatens to close his account, and the bank follows through with the request. As a result, all of the man's outstanding debts were automatically paid with the money from his accounts, leaving him with very little that will be sent to him, a far cry from the thousands he normally made off with.
An employee witnesses two girls, referred in the story as Girl #1 and Girl #2, checking out some pajamas. Girl #2 is the typical customer seen that doesn't put things back the way she found them because she's not paid to do that stuff, and Girl #1 tries her best to keep things neat. The karmic part comes when the employee later sees Girl #2 try to blame Girl #1 for something she didn't do. The employee steps in and explains what actually happened, getting Girl #1 out of trouble and Girl #2 into it.
Here, a customer acts extremely rude to an employee, and does not care one bit about the employee's complications, only that he has an interview to get to and that teenagers are lazy. Unfortunately for him, the employee happens to be the child of the owner of the company the customer is interviewing at. In the end, he wasn't hired.
There are several stories (like this one, this one, and this one) where some soldiers are using their service to justify terrible behavior, only to be overheard and chewed out by someone who outranks them.
Let Me Get This Straight: Somewhat common on here. A customer has a crazy, if not impossible, request. The store associate repeats it back to to the customer, just to make sure that he/she hears correctly, and often rephrasing it to highlight the implausibility of it. The (often Jerkass) customer will probably respond in one of several ways: "Well? Get going! I'm not waiting here all day!", "Argh, you're just being lazy/intentionally unhelpful!" or, best of all, "Exactly! God, is that so hard to understand?"
Logical Fallacies: A fair chunk of the entries on the site are of customers who, when confronted with the fact that they might be wrong about something, choose to stubbornly hold on to their mistaken belief in the face of all evidence and logic otherwise. This leads them to some breathtakingly inaccurate conclusions.
Attempted by this woman. The daycare had a rule that parents must sign out their kids by 4 PM or face additional charges. The woman signed her daughter out on time, but left her there while she ran other errands for another 45 minutes. Luckily, the daycare didn't put up with her crap and charged her anyway.
This man, too. The restaurant had a policy that if the customer didn't get a receipt, their meal was free. What does he do? Shove the money into the drive-through attendant's hands and immediately speeds to the next window. The drive-through guy didn't have time to even offer a receipt, but that matters not. The speeder argues this point and sadly gets away with it. Drive-through guy wises up, though, and offers a receipt before taking the money next time the speeder rolls around.
This man wants a bunch of free ice cream samples in a cup. It's not a cup of ice cream, you see, because it's all free samples! The employee didn't put up with his crap, though.
This grocery store customer attempts this with coffee beans, which were priced by weight. As a single coffee bean's weight is minuscule (and therefore technically costs nothing), she bags numerous beans individually in an attempt to circumvent the pricing. Unfortunately for her, she didn't anticipate the automatic checkout to catch her tactic — it stops because she didn't combine them. The manager then weighs all the beans and bags she tried to make off with and forces her to pay the massive price for them because, according to them, they couldn't take back food that was handled.
The customer does have a point about a retail store's return policy.
This woman attempts this with taxes by trying just about every combination of filing possible in order to maximize return.