Fanfic / Partially Kissed Hero
Partially Kissed Hero
is a Harry Potter
story by longtime fanfiction writer Jared Ornstead, otherwise known as Skysaber
In order to start fresh without reader preconceptions about his work, though, he released it under a new identity
with the name Perfect Lionheart
The story is set just at the start of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
, and immediately deviates from the storyline
when Harry is partially kissed by a Dementor aboard the Hogwarts Express, prompting his soul to absorb the Horcrux Voldemort created inside him. Oh, and Dumbledore's evil
From there, things get... complicated
This fanfic contains examples of:
- A Lady on Each Arm: Harry and his wives.
- All Gays Are Pedophiles: Seriously just read chapter 53.
- Alternate Universe: It starts with an Evil!Dumbledore and far more abusive Dursleys in the Back Story. Many other characters are drastically different, based on whether they side with Harry or are evil. However, much later on in the story, they use time travel to create an alternate universe within the story, rewriting the past to give Harry a happy childhood, interspersed with time at the Dursleys, with the memories of each being suppressed while he experiences the other, to appear to preserve the timeline.
- Anachronism Stew: Harry shows some students The Lord of the Rings, saying the movies are about magical history as a joke. Quite the accomplishment, since the first movie wouldn't be released for another eight years.
- Author Appeal: All of the women are easily won over with really shiny things, immortality, eternal beauty and/or power. For all that they don't mind being forced into anything and happily accept Harry as their Dark-Er, I mean, ''Light Lord'' and master.
- This seems to be a theme for PL. His earlier fic Chunin Exam Day had essentially the exact same things used for wooing women, just flip 'really shiny things' with 'really great massages, hand-made clothes, and really good food'.
- Author Filibuster: Every chapter has at least one of these. Some chapters are nothing but these.
- This is a trademark of Skysaber/Lionheart's writing.
- Big Brother Is Watching: Dumbledore knows everything that goes on in Hogwarts and can see any possible threat to him... Except for the attempts on his life and who's behind the constant attacks and inconveniences Harry and co cause.
- Butt Monkey: Dumbledore, Snape, Draco, most of the Slytherins, and Ron are the main ones.
- Dumbledore is crushed, mutilated, fooled into believing Colonel Sanders is the Dark Lord, dipped in Macalaw venom too many times to count, and has his testicles placed into Bludgers and is kept alive to feel the pain
- Snape is put under Imperius and boils his head in acid, rips apart Draco Malfoy, and is trapped in a despair cycle which causes him to tear out his brain.
- Draco is turned into a woman and forced to bear children to Crabbe and Goyle.
- Ron has his failings pointed out in front of the entire Divination class.
- Chekhov's Gun: To something in canon that is never later referenced: the scar on Dumbledore's knee, referenced as a throwaway joke in his first scene in Sorcerer's Stone, that provides a perfect map of the London Underground, is actually his reference and control system for his multiple underground black-market warehouses.
- Contrived Coincidence: Malaclaw venom causes these due to it being bad luck in a bottle.
- Crack Fic: At times, can match Thirty Hs in sheer weirdness. One example would be the incident in which Harry is inadvertently transformed into a flower garden, allowing Luna to excise his remaining personality flaws by going weeding.
- Dastardly Whiplash: As a side effect of his resurrections and losing the ability to adjust his physical age to a nonthreatening grandfatherly look, Dumbledore starts reverting to his appearance (and wardrobe and behavior!) from his physical prime — which is that of the classic mustache-twirling, tophatted villain.
- Death Is Cheap
- Deconstructive Parody: Unintentionally so, but the series can easily be seen this.
- Defiled Forever: When Nacissa joins Harry, she apparently has managed to not be spoiled by the touch of her husband.
- Department of Redundancy Department: The author has a tendency to repeat the same thing multiple times with similar but different wording, leading to chapters of 5,000+ words that could easily be 500 or fewer.
- Door Stopper: Currently slightly longer than Gone with the Wind.
- The Dragon: Snape, to Dumbledore.
- Evil Versus Evil: A not-uncommon interpretation of the central conflict between Dumbledore and Harry. Voldemort and his crew, for what it's worth, oppose both sides at different stages in the story, although they're rather sidelined throughout.
- Expo Speak
- The Fair Folk: Harry, Hermione and Luna become the champions of the Fairy Queen who seeks to defeat Dumbledore and bring magic back the way it used to be. Fairy magic is "more magical than magic". Or something...
- For Science!: The Trio discovers that Dumbledore comes back every time they kill him so what do they do? Use him for morally dubious experimentation, since it's not like they're not going to be killing him anyways.
- Good Girls Avoid Abortion: Also boys. Apparently casting a castration hex is punishable by ten years forced pregnancy, along with a permanent gender change if you weren't female at the time you cast it. Apparently our 'heroes' endorse this.
- Gorn: The many unpleasant demises of the story's antagonists can stray into this from time to time.
- Guilty Pleasure: It's a God-Mode Sue fic, true. It's got a possible Designated Hero Villain Protagonist, true. It's got horrific levels of Author Appeal, true. But, for all those reasons, it's also really, really fun to read, as long as you can avoid thinking about it as Serious Business and just enjoy the fic. The Jumping the Shark done by Dumbledore is good comic relief, as well.
- It also has some surprisingly competent and thought-provoking worldbuilding — intermixed with the hilariously WTF worldbuilding, admitted.
- Hate Fic: Aspects of the fic can stray into this - it's obvious that the author has some...problems...with the canon, as he puts it in the first chapter:
Every so often the entire Harry Potter universe offends me so deeply that I just have to react by folding, spindling and mutilating it.
- Heel–Face Brainwashing: as Harry's 'good' it strikes them as moral to use a mind control potion on a hundred different women that makes them join the protagonists' side, you know Brainwashing for the Greater Good, it also doubles as a Love Potion.
- Hollywood Tactics: Pretty much the entirety of chapter 99, but the grand prize has to go to Russia invading Canada by marching an army across the North Pole.
- Honor-Related Abuse: When Draco gets on the bad side of Harry, Narissa just lets them do whatever to him because he should have gotten on the wrong side of someone higher up the family hierarchy.
- How Unscientific!: Chapter 72. Trelawney pushes the space programs of Earth to colonize the Moon, Mars, and other worlds in the solar system with dryad trees to make them effectively invulnerable (as as long as their trees are safe, they can't die) with Orion-type Nuclear pulse propulsion ships that can get out to Pluto and back within a year.
- Humiliation Conga: Dumbledore gets this throughout the entire fic.
- Idiot Ball: Everyone aside from Harry and his thralls get this, making this an Idiot Plot.
- I Just Want to Be Beautiful
- Info Dump: At any given time the plot may be halted for several chapters to deliver (largely unnecessary) information about some place, object, or person.
- Informed Ability: Dumbledore, who is supposed to be a greater threat to Harry than Voldemort, the most powerful and dangerous and informed wizard on the planet, is fooled into believing a "Colonel Sanders" among other Muggle advertisement icons are actually dark wizards working to undermine his power. He is stated to be incredibly intelligent, but even in normal behavior acts like a moron.
- It's All About Me: Dumbledore.
- Just Between You and Me: There's one scene of this in chapter 79, where Dumbledore's simulacrum captures Harry and his wives in his office and gloats a bit as he waits for Snape or Filch to arrive to help with the interrogation and torture, pausing only to open a piece of Harry's mail... which blows up in his face. Literally.
- Joker Immunity: If Dumbledore was defeated, there would be no story. There are currently over ninety chapters of story. Also an example of Just Eat Gilligan and Villain Exit Stage Left.
- Love Potion: Used by Luna as part of a potion turn a hundred witches into Harrys immortal dryad sex slaves, only hot for him thanks to the fact his hair is dropped into the potion,, called Bride's Delight. Combined with the Unctuous Unction which means they all believe Harry is the source of all goodness, light, and truth, and even if there was a technical way out they wouldn't ever take it.
- Madonna–Whore Complex: When Nacissa is forced to join Harry's group, she's apparently still a virgin. This actually brought up as a plus. Because it wasn't good enough to a fighting competent impressive and desperate witch join their cause. Cause virginity is more important then anything else.
- Men Are Strong, Women Are Pretty: All woman in PKH want beauty, beauty products, better complexion, etc. They will all be motivated by these to a huge extent. Men prefer dung-bomb recipes.
- Men Act, Women Are: All Harry's wives are about making his actions better rather then taking their own. Apparently the hero saves a damsel so she has to marry him is mostly out of vogue, but only because too many guys died that way.
- MST: Done by members of The Fanfiction Forum. Viewing requires registration.
- Moral Dissonance: Harry's actions include Mind Rape and enslavement. Despite this, he is portrayed as the unquestioned good guy. On the other hand, after he had a particularly thorough session with the Dursleys (who regularly tried to kill him during childhood in this AU), he throws up several times and has to be comforted by Luna.
- More Than Mind Control: Arguably for Hermione, who is charmed by Harry (who now has Voldemort's memories and power), then convinced that Dumbledore is a Dark Lord and becomes completely devoted to him and The Watson for the inevitable long, long, long streams of exposition that Harry and Luna tell her.
- Ms. Fanservice: Every main cast woman. If they didn't start out pretty then they get there and if they started pretty... And every good side girl wants nothing more then to service Harry, even if not always before mindrape.
- Never a Self-Made Woman: Every major character woman in the story, with the debatable exception of Hermione is special because... of their relationship to Harry.
- Luna to Hermione: "We are Harry's friends and we are helping him, but we are also much more than that. Our bodies, and thus ourselves, were literally made to serve him by the author of our transformation. Harry is the hero."
- Only Sane Man: In one of the stories' better bits, Luna is apparently this compared to the rest of her family. Particularly Grandmother Alice, who at this point operates more under Wonderland logic than Earth logic.
- This is kind of awkward, too, because from an exterior to the story standpoint Luna is by far the most merciless and vicious character in the story; more so than any of the designated villains or Harry himself.
- Pay Evil unto Evil: The story's central tenet.
- Polyamory: Harry has four wives, in addition to the aforementioned sex slaves. Sadly, this trope is pretty common in these kinds of fanfics.
- Protagonist-Centered Morality: Certainly Harry does less horrible things then Dumbledore's ridiculous list of villainy. That doesn't mean that the moral decision is to use torture on helpless people for the sole purpose of revenge just because one uses it on less people then the other side. Except here it's fine and he even learns a moral lesson from it. This does not mean he stops the torture at any point despite the fic making a big point of Harry arranging it so he can kill the victims at any point, with little more then a thought.
- Or the mind rape. Or the effective slavery. Or the initiating the end of human civilization.
- Retcon: Dumbledore started out with 1 Horcrux. As of Chapter 88, he has... thirteen.
- Revenge Fic: Mostly against Dumbledore and Snape, but other characters feel the author's wrath as well.
- Ron the Death Eater: Well, you have Dumbledore and Snape presented as cartoonishly evil. The Trope Namer himself is presented as a crude waste of space who's "proud of his own ignorance."
- Rouge Angles of Satin: Remarkably absent, given both the size of the story and the fact that it's a fanfic.
- Same Face, Different Name: Ornstead did not reveal his identity as Perfect Lionheart until several years after he began the story. At that time he explained that his motive for publishing using the Lionheart name was to prove that the alleged cabal of haters whom he believes live to denigrate his work would not find fault with Partially Kissed Hero because the "Skysaber" name wasn't on it. Naturally, Perfect Lionheart's identity was debated strongly in many fora before this announcement, with the two main camps settling out as "Oh, yeah, it's Skysaber" and "Nah, it's a Skysaber tribute band".
- Early in the story, Harry pulls a prank on Professor Binns' first-year class by tricking them into thinking that The Lord of the Rings is about the history of the wizarding world.
- Hermione's parents are fans of Star Trek
- Show, Don't Tell: A common criticism, of the frequent Author Tracts in particular.
- Showy Invincible Hero (or villain as your mileage on Harry): It is incredibly obvious as early as chapter 15 that Dumbledore is going to be no match for Harry and Co. the rest of the story is just seeing how it plays out.
- Smug Snake: Dumbledore, in private or before he Obliviates someone. Harry as well, though this is ignored because he's the "hero"
- Species Loyalty: Wizards apparently have made it illegal to use contraception charms. The Trio is planning a lot of children to help repopulate the fairies.
- Staying Alive: Dumbledore and Snape, who are repeatedly killed by Harry, Luna and Hermione in a variety of really sadistic ways, but come back each time because Dumbledore is Crazy-Prepared and has at least thirteen Horcruxes to ensure his immortality.
- Take That!: lots.
- There's a whole chapter devoted to how absolutely disgusting Vampires are, and how people who think they are sexy are Too Dumb to Live, mostly because the author's read the original Dracula and is fed up with Twilight.
- After introducing bows and arrows, there were apparently a lot of reviews bringing up the superiority of guns, which caused the main characters to realize how useless guns are. This is justified by the author in the note at the end, and YMMV on whether you agree:
I'm tired of anonymous jerk-offs telling me 'bows suck, guns are better.' That may even be true, but it's not what I want to do with my story. So I slapped down some rules to make it physically impossible for my heroes to use them. Just because I'm tired of listening to the blind 'the way we do things now is the only true and perfect way to do ANYTHING' crowd.
I want a fantasy story, not Rambo, the Fairy Blood.
- At one point the narration exposits on how there are a number of "Boy Who Lived" books in-universe, which are clearly a dig at Mary Sue Harry Potter fics. The irony appears to be lost on the author.
- It has also been suggested that the same sequence incorporates shots at the actual Harry Potter books, due to some of the complaints being similar to those in the author's notes. The irony of that is something well beyond merely lost on the author.
- Vanity Is Feminine: All girls want to be pretty and will stare at themselves for hours if they get prettier somehow.
- Villain with Good Publicity: Dumbledore, who has near-total control over the Wizarding world while being perceived as a paragon of virtue.
- Virgin Power / Virgin Sacrifice : It comes up that Virginity is highly prized among witches because of various rites.
- Your Head A-Splode: Happens to Snape in Chapter 9.