1000 things we've learned from video games

549. Jumping from large monuments, buildings or trees is always safe if you can spot some hay, wheat or foliage to fall into.

549a. Or if you remember to roll when you land.

550. Crises are known to be put on hold when you're tending to side missions.

551. Being a single paper cut away from death will not slow you down

552. The bottom of a cliff is always fatal, regardless of how fast you are falling or what you land on

553. There are exactly two kinds of medicine, the ones that instantly heal your wounds and the ones that give you a short term performance boost, neither will ever have harmfull long-term effects no matter how much you take

554. Audio logs nearly always show how much more fucked up the situation actually is.

555. If you just stay in the corner until the breathing noises stop and the corners of your vision fade back from red, you'll be fine no matter how dead you were.

556. Be careful of capitalists, they may want to terraform your planet

556a: They also put people into debt so they can be forcefully robotized into slave labor. Said capitalists also have a knack for abusing innocent wildlife.

557: If at least one other person has Ripple-Effect-Proof Memory, then Save Scumming would be an absolutely useless (or otherwise highly inconvenient) ability in Real Life — especially when it comes to being an otherwise blatant jerk.

Edited by aNinjaWithAIDS on Feb 21st 2019 at 9:13:07 AM

558. Enjoy the Story, Skip the Game for those who watched the playthrough of lengthy game.

559. Michael Jackson didn't invent the Moonwalk Dance. Simon Belmont did.

560. Eating 28 cooked sharks in about 5 seconds to restore all you health woes!

561. Do not create generations of overpopulation and war, or the world's resources are depleted to the point where society has to create skeletal robots and battle each other to survive.

562. Connecting to a person from another world via chat system's the only way to save your life.

Edited by TroperNo9001 on Aug 21st 2019 at 6:43:16 PM

563. Poking another person's bowl is an offence punishable by death.

564. A newborn takes five days to grow into a primary school-age child and is immediately allowed to move out and have their own home once they reach that age.

Edited by ArgonianLorekeeper on Aug 21st 2019 at 11:25:57 AM

565. Tank tracks are made out of some of the toughest materials known to mankind. These tracks will, without fail, absorb cannon fire much like a blackhole, preventing damage to the underlying hull. When broken, they are capable of self-repair (up to a point) without intervention from the crew.

566. If someone calls you an insulting name or gives you an insulting title, that's your new name/title now. No amount of hacking or protesting to the contrary will ever change that. Isn't that right, Mid-Boss?

567. Casual wear covereth a multitude of sins, including the ones forged into full plate mail that you are currently wearing.

568. It doesn't matter if it's by explosives, poison, or what have you; when you die, you assplode.

569. As long as they’re either dizzy or blocking, you can throw anyone of any size no matter how large the difference in size or what kind of throw you’re using.

Edited by VidExGuy on May 9th 2020 at 3:10:40 AM

570. The only thing that matters when making armor is what material you use, the basic design has no impact on the armor's weight or protective quality

Edited by johannes4123 on May 9th 2020 at 12:27:53 PM

571. When you die, you'll be fine in a couple of seconds but you drop some of your money. Pick it up before it disappears.

571b: Doing something is easy, doing everything is brutally difficult.

Edited by GeneralGigan on Aug 20th 2021 at 9:10:00 AM

572: When you see a tree in Pokémon and it can't be cut down, then it is not a tree.

573: Berries take a while to grow back, so be patient!

574. On the subject of raising morale:

574a. Just beat the shit out of them. Your soldiers will be thankful of the impromptu physical abuse.

574b. Replace their diet entirely with desserts. Soon enough they'll be throwing themselves on your feet with marriage proposals.

574c. Execute one of the suckers as an example.

575: You can't kill someone with a single bullet unless you shoot them in the head.

What happens when we reach 1000?

576: Every human that isn’t you and your friends is weird and has a long nose.

Edited by DookieIdiotNimrod on Oct 16th 2020 at 2:44:24 AM