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A man's quest to get his girl back as well as his balls.

J'ai jamais su dire non (I Never Could Answer "No") is a French comedic Web series made by Slimane-Baptiste Berhoun. The series is finished and has 14 episodes.

J'ai jamais su dire non is centered on Tom, an Extreme Doormat, and his friend Mitch. After being left by his girlfriend Emma (after refusing to not sleep with his boss, Roxanne), Tom has to host Mitch. Then Mitch teachs him the "Psycho-Ballsnote  Therapy", to make him gain self confidence, and eventually regain Emma's heart. Other important characters are Stan (an hobo usually staying in the park near Tom's flat), Eugène (Emma's new boyfriend), and Chris (Tom's coworker).

A part of the cast are important actors of the more famous Web series Le Visiteur du Futur, in which Slimane-Baptiste Berhoun (Tom) plays Henri Castafolte and Mathieu Poggi (Mitch) plays Matteo. J'ai jamais su dire non has also supporting roles played by Florent Dorin (Stan the hobo) — the Visitor himself — and François Descraques (Eugène, Emma's new boyfriend) — creator of Le visiteur du Futur.


The series received two sequels. The first one, La Théorie des Balls ("Balls' Theory"), is mostly focused on Mitch and his theories about balls; it has been released in 2015. The second one, Le Secret des Balls ("Balls' Secret"), deals with Mitch sudden diseappearance the day of his wedding, and the investigation which follows; it has been released in 2016.

J'ai jamais su dire non provides examples of :

  • Affably Evil: One of the two evil managers has a very happy attitude, not matter what he has to say.
  • Affectionate Nickname/Embarrassing Nickname: Chris and Roxanne do this a few time during their romance.
  • The Alcoholic: Tom becomes one during the series.
  • The Beard: Eugene to Emma.
  • Black Comedy Rape: The pilot.
  • A Bloody Mess: There is a gag in which Mitch suddenly falls asleep above some ketchup. When he stands up a few second later, he has a red stain on the forehead. Roxanne sees it and faint.
  • Advertisement:
  • Butt-Monkey: Tom
  • The Cameo: Judith from Le visiteur du Futur.
  • Catchphrase: Chris who reguraly asks: "C'est quoi les histoires ?" (What's the story ?) and casually uses the term "Bâtard" (motherfucker)
  • Chekhov's Gun:
    • Potato crisps appear on the screen in episodes before Eugène's first appearance.
    • The horse laxative.
  • Chekhov's Skill: Stan was graduated from a business school before choosing to live in the streets. In fact, he was only faking to be a hobo; he eventually reappears at the end as the new manager of the firm which acquired the one in which Tom, Chris, and Roxanne work.
  • Cool Shades: Mitch occasionally wears some.
  • Cringe Comedy: The many moments where Tom's (or Mitch's) idea doesn't work and he ends up in an embarrassing situation in front of Emma or Roxanne.
  • Death from Above: One of Mitch's plans involved using potato crisps as a bait to make Eugène go to a specific place (he loves them) and then drop a video game arcade cabinet on his head. It is only shown as one of the numerous ImagineSpots featured in the series.
  • Et Tu, Brute?: Tom befriends Chris at a moment where both try to go on a date with Roxanne. When Chris finds out about it in the seventh epsiode, he becomes hateful towards him.
  • The Ditz: Eugène is a mild example. He seems to be obsessed by potato crisps, hygiene, is a bit naive, and always speaks with a somewhat childish pitch.
  • Double Standard: Abuse, Female on Male: Emma abuse on Tom which is played for laugh. The pilot even has Roxanne sexually assaulting Tom for comedy.
  • Evil Sounds Deep: Mr. Mortier when he threatens someone.
  • Extreme Doormat: Tom. The bad situation in which he is stuck at the beginning of the series is specifically caused because of his chronic inhability to answer "no!", or more accurately, because he didn't manage to say "no!" three times during the same day:
    • When Roxanne seduced Tom and slept with him.
    • When Emma noticed that Tom wasn't feeling great and asked him what he was thinking; after his answer, she broke their relationship.
    • Just after Emma left Tom, Mitch comes to his flat and asked him to be hosted for a few time.
  • Freeze-Frame Bonus: When Tom, Chris, and Roxanne are struggling to quickly collect late payment (to avoid losing their job), there is a quick shot showing a board on which they note the firm they have to call. Among them we can see Cine-Boobs, Frenchnerdnote , and Dailymotionnote .
  • Goofy Print Underwear: The Superman and SpongeBob SquarePants underwears of Mitch.
  • Gratuitous English:
    • "Psycho-Balls Therapy" is in English in the show.
    • "Balls" in always said in English (instead of using "couilles").
    • Some episodes are introduced by a short summary of the previous ones. The summary begins by "precedently" instead of "précédemment".
  • Groin Attack: This is how Mitch is defeated when he wears his Einstein mask.
  • Hard-Work Montage: In the twelth episode.
  • Hobo: Stan. He actually is a rich young businessman.
  • Hollywood Psych: Justified, as the Psycho-Balls Therapy is totally improvised by Mitch.
  • Idiosyncratic Episode Naming: Each episode is "No to X"
  • Imagine Spot: Used from time to time.
  • Late to the Realization: Chris
  • Love Chart: The "Balls Relationship" chart in episode 8 can count as one.
  • Letting the Air Out of the Band: Usually played when things seem to go right for Tom until he's brought back to reality.
  • Love Triangle: Tom-Eugène-Emma simultaneously to Tom-Chris-Roxanne (although it is more Roxanne chasing Tom as he hasn't the will to refuse).
  • Metaphorgotten: The future new boss of Tom speaks mostly like this.
  • Operation: Jealousy: Emma's gambit.
  • The Plan:
    • There are a couple of scenes where Mitch puts a mask representing Einstein and simulates an assault on someone (Roxanne of Eugène) in order to be defeated by Tom. Both attempts ends with an Epic Fail.
    • The whole Psycho-Balls Therapy is one.
  • Previously On…
  • The Reveal: The Psycho-Balls Therapy imposed to Tom was actually decided by Emma, who wanted to be with Tom again but only if he stopped to be an Extreme Doormat. Eugène wasn't her boyfriend, just a neighbour faking it; he has been randomly picked by Emma on orders of Mitch when Tom suddenly decided to go talk to Emma.
  • Secret Test of Character: After nearly achieving to regain Emma's love, Tom is ordered to makes his boss fired to make their couple start again - the firm was being merged and the buyer intended to fire one person of the department employing Tom, Chris, and Roxanne. Then, when Tom comes back and tells Emma that he didn't have the "balls" to make Roxanne fired, Emma answers that it was a test and that she would have left him again if he actually succeeded.
  • Shout-Out:
    • When Mitch is drawing a pattern to explain "the Relation of Ball" (see the Genius Bonus entry on the YMMV page):
    Mitch: ... And as you know, one must never crosses fluxes. Especially balls fluxes.
    • There are several allusions to Mortal Kombat when Mitch and Tom are planning to assault Eugène.
    • To Koh-Lanta during the last episode. From a guy who played in it.
    • In the thirteenth episode, when Tom wonders if he is in The Game, a screenshot of the movie is shown in the background.
  • Signature Sound Effect: Oh yeah!
  • Slipping a Mickey:
    • Part of the plan to regain Emma involves putting horse's laxative in Eugène's drink. Tom decides to not doing it.
    • At the end, during the competition between Tom, Chris, and Roxanne to decide whom will be fired, Chris and Tom ally against Roxanne and put the horse laxative in her coffee, to empede her performances during the tests and then makes her the least effective employee. It doesn't work, as Chris suddenly suffers from remorses and drink her coffee.
  • Special Guest: Moundir, former candidate of the French television show Koh-Lanta, plays an important role in the last episode.
  • Sympathetic Adulterer: Tom slept with his boss just because he can't say no.
  • Taking Advantage of Generosity: Stan and Mitch to Tom, staying for a long time in Tom's flat, being idle, eating and drinking there. The abuse from Mitch is part of the therapy.
  • The Stinger: Every episode, besides the first two, has one.
  • The Thing That Would Not Leave: Mitch and Stan (to a lesser extent) to Tom. It is volunteer from Mitch, as making Tom get enough "balls" to order Mitch to leave was part of the Psycho-Balls Therapy.
  • Those Two Guys: The two men sent to Tom's firm to watch what Tom, Chris, and Roxanne do at job in order to prepare the buying of the firm.
  • Throw the Book at Them: There are occasional office scenes when characters hit each other with file folders.
  • Toilet Humour
  • Trademark Favorite Food: Eugène is totally fond of potato crips.


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