Original Work: Code Name: Diamond Head
Short: A Day at the Fair
During the host segments, Magic Voice presents the 'Bots with what life would be like if Mike were replaced with various questionable celebrities. Meanwhile, the S.O.L.'s become so dirty that it leads the Mads into a competition on who's the most hygienic.
It is available to stream here.
- The Satellite of Love is a filthy, trash-ridden mess, and the crew doesn't seem to mind one bit... until they smell something especially nasty coming from Mike's shoes.
- Dr. Forrester and TV's Frank lecture the crew on how filthy they are, and then they get into an argument on which of them is cleaner. Mike and the 'Bots take it to heart and clean the bridge up just in time for Movie Sign.
- While Mike is away from the bridge, Crow and Tom Servo talk about how lame he is for being so nice all the time. This gets Magic Voice's attention and she tells them that they should be happy to have Mike around. To illustrate, she has Cambot run a simulation in which Mike is a big bully to them.
- The 'Bots want to play with Mike, but he's too busy. As they complain, Magic Voice has Cambot run another simulation in which Mike is a musician and drives them crazy with his singing.
- Mike has served sandwiches to the 'Bots for a snack. Their complaints about his cooking are once more answered by Magic Voice and Cambot as their new simulation portrays Mike as a chef and the 'Bots as his ingredients.
- The crew unwinds with a Hawaiian luau that is more Hawaiian than anything in the movie they have just watched. The Mads are now so obsessed with outcleaning each other that they've scrubbed themselves down to the bone.
The Mystery Science Theater 3000 presentation contains these tropes:
- Anti-Humor: In the last host segment, Crow asks Mike if he wants a "nice Hawaiian punch." After a little goading to say, "Suuuure!" in a dopey voice, Crow gives him... the canned drink, rather than the actual punch in the face as seen in the commercials. Even he seems a little confused afterwards.
- Mike is eating a bowl of Wild Rebels cereal in the opening. A box of Nelson Cigarettes can also be seen in the trash pile.
- Later:Dr. Forrester: I see a germ on you!
TV's Frank: I see a disgusting worrrrrm on you!
- Mitchell!Servo: This so almost Mitchell.
Crow: It's about fifty pounds short of Mitchell.
- During the climax: "We got a lot of money here, Mitchell!"
- One to Junior Rodeo Daredevils, the short that accompanied The Killer Shrews, during A Day at the Fair. During the cow judging scene:Mike: And the crowd goes wild!
Crow and Tom: (With zero enthusiasm) Yaaay.
- Captain Obvious: From the short:Narrator: This is the fair ground, where the fair is held.Servo: Any questions so far?
- Continuity Nod:
- Corpsing: Mike's remark that Roy Thinnes looks like Simon Le Bon sends Trace Beaulieu (Crow) into a fit of giggles — which in turn cracks Mike up.
- Cowboy Cop: Implied (and lampooned): "Dammit, security guard, this is not your personal war!"
- Cutting the Knot: It's readily apparent that the blanket Mike and the Bots drape over the table when they "finish" cleaning is clearly just covering up the remaining trash they didn't feel like dealing with, given how much it bulges.
- Electrified Bathtub: Pushing The Button while in the bath tub causes an electric short resulting in Forrester and Frank turning into skeletons.Frank: Now we're totally clean, Clay!
- Eye Scream: Mike as "someone who wasn't so nice" (like Robert De Niro in This Boy's Life) jams a pop can into Crow's eye and leaves it there.Mike: Look at this! Did you put this pop down here? Is that done? Look at that! (crushes the can and works it into Crow's eye) Now that's a done pop!
- Flashback Effects: Played straight when Magic Voice teaches the 'Bots a lesson about appreciating what they've got (with a little help from Cambot).
- I Taste Delicious: Crow is briefly impressed by his net being an ingredient.
- Imagine Spot: During the host segments, Magic Voice tortures the Bots with videos of Mike-as-bad-celebrities in order to make them appreciate Mike more.
- It's a Wonderful Plot: The bots learn what it would be like if they got their wish and Mike weren't the bland, inoffensive Nice Guy that he is.
- Jerkass: The various not-so-nice versions of Mike that Magic Voice shows in her various Imagine Spots to make the 'bots appreciate the real Mike.
- The first has Mike as Robert De Niro's character from This Boy's Life, a bullying freak in a Boy Scout uniform, knocking Crow and Servo around when they don't finish their sodas.Mike: I'm not gonna raise any sissies, I'll tell you that right now, mister. I know a thing or two about a thing or two — you guys got it easy around here.
- Mike as The Frugal Gourmet is just as bad, cutting off Crow's net and cooking it, then practically biting Gypsy's head off when she asks for an autograph. He, too, knows a thing or two about a thing or two.
- The first has Mike as Robert De Niro's character from This Boy's Life, a bullying freak in a Boy Scout uniform, knocking Crow and Servo around when they don't finish their sodas.
- Jump Scare: In one scene, Crow starts admiring the Hawaiian scenery, only for the whole gang to scream out loud when sidekick Zulu suddenly pops up into frame.
- Narm Charm: Invoked. The entire crew are delighted by the random jogger who finds the colonel's body, and her goofy Wangst.Servo: (amused) Her whole family gathered around the TV to watch her on his show and that was it!
- Neat Freak: The Mads become Terrified of Germs in the opening in response to the situation on the Satellite of Love.
- Not What It Looks Like: Clay to the SOL crew (and viewers) on why he and Frank are in the bathtub together.Dr. F: What are you looking at? Haven't you ever seen two men practicing personal hygiene together?!
- Paper-Thin Disguise: Assumed by the villain of the movie. Evidently the characters in the film aren't quite so astute as Mike and the 'bots, since the pathetic mustache and wig actually fool everyone.
- The Pig-Pen: Mike and the 'bots in the opening segment. They realize the problem has gone too far when one of Mike's shoes emanates an incredible stench — and later is moving on its own.
- Pilot Movie: The feature. Painfully so.Servo: It's so poignant the way they're trying to set up the series!
- Running Gag:
- "Hey, it's Lovejoy!"
- Plenty of Hawaii Five-O references.
- Thanks to the drab, washed-out '70s film stock, the riffers refuse to believe the movie's various mundane, brown settings were actually shot in Hawaii: "[TV show/movie set anywhere but the tropics] has more Hawaiian settings than this movie!" The final title card of the failed pilot serves as a Brick Joke, as it states that the entirety of the film was indeed shot in Hawaii.
- The riffers also frequently comment on what would have been running on TV at the same time as the movie.
- The soundtrack gets a good drubbing — since the "action music" is a weird, sprightly bassoon/flute number that would be more at home in a wacky European comedy. (At one point Mike superimposes a sped-up version of "The Boy from Ipanema" over the tune.)
- Actor Eric Braeden is talked about continually as the riffers try to figure out where they know him from.Mike (as Eric Braeden): What the hell was I in? I know I know me....
Crow: Now back to Code Name Diamond Head, starring... that one guy.
- The riffers take the code "Aunt Mary" literally (as if Tree is being tracked by somebody's elderly aunt).
- "I know a thing or two about a thing or two!"
- Stock riffs: "Turn it off. TURN IT OFF!"
- Sealed with a Kiss: Servo assumes the TV movie will end with this. It might have, if not for the Plucky Comic Relief showing up to kill the moment with a sudden Dance Party Everybody Laughs Ending instead.
- Society Marches On: Ian McShane was best known for the title role of Lovejoy at the time the episode was released, and Mike and the 'Bots make several jokes referencing this. Now, more people remember him from Deadwood, or his voice work in Kung Fu Panda.
- As two identical bushy-haired twins walk around the fair exhibits, Crow imitates Patty and Selma Bouvier.
- In the first "what if Mike wasn't so nice" scenario, Crow and Servo sit around giggling and reading an issue of Boys' Life (official magazine of the Boy Scouts of America), only for Mike to show up as a G-rated DeNiro from This Boy's Life and push them around.
- Something Person: The airport security guard, as he whips off his jacket and pursues Tree.Crow: This looks like a job for — (voice breaks) Regular Guy!
- Take That!:
- In one of Magic Voice's "what-if" scenarios, Crow and Servo see what life would be like if, instead of Mike, they lived with... a Crash Test Dummy! Mike is then shown as a guitar-playing, mumbling Brad Roberts, who sings "Hummm harrr wrrrrhh hrrrhhhh!" to the 'bots; they, in turn, scream in agony and bash their heads on the table. (As soon as the scenario is over, they run up and hug the real Mike.)
- The abusive version of The Frugal Gourmet flips out at Gypsy for asking him for an autograph, based on an alleged incident in real life. Again, the 'bots are appalled.
- Trash of the Titans: Mike and the bots have made a complete mess of the Bridge of the Satellite of Love in the opening.