"When Jon and Tami killed me, I felt bloody awful. But it was a unanimous vote, and I could see that the Deathmatch would run much more smoothly without me. I feel okay about it now!"
—Jacinda Barrett
The seventh episode of the second season of Celebrity Deathmatch, also known as The End of the Real World.
This episode consists of two pre-determined fights and one fashion show. The fashion show features models Tyra Banks, Kate Moss, and Claudia Schiffer showcasing some Deathmatch-inspired clothing and fashion accessories. The first undercard fight sees Busta Rhymes taking on legendary poet William Shakespeare, courtesy of the Deathmatch time machine. The main event features a four-way brawl between a handful of iconic contestants from Reality TV series The Real World: Jon and Tami from the Los Angeles season, Jacinda from the London season, and Puck from the San Francisco season.
This episode contains examples of:
- Acid Attack: Kate showcases a pair of jeans which, at the press of a button, will spray acid.
- An Arm and a Leg: During a reaction shot of the brawl between Claudia, Kate, and Tyra, an arm and a leg is seen landing in the lap of an audience member. While not explicitly shown who the limbs belongs to, it's implied by looking at the Human Knot outcome that they may belong to Kate and Claudia respectively.
- Apologetic Attacker: When Kate tries to spray Tyra with acid from a hidden mechanic in her jeans, she accidentally sprays Claudia in the face instead. Kate immediately starts apologizing.
- Attack Animal: One of the accessories that Tyra showcases is a mink stole...except, it's a live mink that Tyra sets on Claudia, and then on Kate.
- Automatic Crossbows: Shakespeare's codpiece is revealed to somehow conceal a full-sized crossbow. After Busta Rhymes mocks him for only having one arrow, Shakespeare pulls out an entire clip of arrows that he then fires out in rapid succession.
- Awkward Poetry Reading: Just as Johnny is about to call the fight between Busta Rhymes and Shakespeare, Nick decides to deliver a rendition of a poem he wrote in college...Johnny very quickly shuts it down.
- Back for the Dead: In-universe. After being ejected from the fight and escorted from the arena, Puck eventually re-enters on his BMX. Although he does end up taking out Tami upon his return, he ultimately ends up losing to Jon.
- The Bard: Shakespeare, of course.
- Because I Said So: Immediately after killing Jacinda, Tami tells Jon that she's had a meeting with herself and has unanimously voted to kill him. Jon doesn't question her logic.
- Confession Cam: At different points during the main event, there are several of these interjected throughout the fight, with increasingly hilarious content. What starts off with Tami and Jon's thoughts on evicting Puck from the fight, then moves on to Nick and Johnny talking about each other, a bemused Mills Lane wondering why the room is dark, and even a post-mortem Jacinda talking about her death.
- Dead Person Conversation: Despite being killed at the hands of her opponents, Jacinda reappears alive (though heavily bandaged) in a Confession Cam only to talk about her feelings about dying.
- Deadly Prank: After Kate apologizes to her for spraying acid in her face, Claudia presses a button on her wrap-around that causes all of the accessory beads to fall to the floor, and asks Kate to help her pick them up. The joke is on Kate, as the beads start exploding as soon as she steps on them.
- Dedication: Both Busta Rhymes and Shakespeare pay tribute to various different artists/notable figures before their fight starts.
- Dragged by the Collar: After being voted out of the fight by his opponents, Puck is dragged out of the arena by the Deathmatch security team.
- Eye Scream: After Kate strikes them both with her handbag, Tyra commands her mink to stop attacking Claudia and go for Kate's eyes.
- Fashion Show: What would normally be the first undercard fight has instead been replaced with one of these, where Claudia, Kate, and Tyra are showcasing (as Johnny describes) the Deathmatch Spring Collection. It doesn't stop it from being just as brutal as any regular sanctioned fight, however...
- Fish out of Temporal Water: William Shakespeare is understandably rattled after being transported from 16th-Century England to 20th-Century New York.
- The Future Is Shocking: Shakespeare is initially terrified of being transported through time unexpectedly, especially when his first view is of a drunken Deathmatch audience. However, after Nick spends a lot of time telling Shakespeare about the entire history of poetry and music since his time (mainly Hip-Hop), he appears to have a more open mind.
- Get Thee to a Nunnery: Uttered by a delirious Shakespeare after enduring Busta Rhymes' Rapid-Fire Fisticuffs.
- Handbag of Hurt: Kate showcases a designer bag that Nick describes as being able to carry up to 10lbs of bricks. Kate demonstrates this by hitting both Claudia and Tyra over the head with it.
- Head Crushing: After being thrown out (read: evicted) from the fight previously, Puck re-enters the arena and launches into the ring on his BMX. He lands his wheelie directly onto Tami's head.
- Hidden Disdain Reveal:
- Before the Deathmatch fashion show begins, Stacy conducts a short interview with Claudia, Kate, and Tyra, who all talk about how well they get along and how close they are as friends despite the misconception that all supermodels are Alpha Bitches. After the interview ends, and before the camera switches back to the announcer's booth, all three models' expressions turn from smiles to disgust as they very quickly pull away from each other.
- Johnny's Confession Cam has him talking about how much he despises Nick.
- Human Knot: What ultimately becomes of Claudia, Kate, and Tyra after they engage in a massive brawl in the middle of the catwalk. Noted that, instead of becoming knotted with each other, they somehow end up individually knotting themselves.
- Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy: Shakespeare never actually lands a hit on Busta Rhymes with his crossbow, however it's because of this trope that Shakespeare ends up sending him on a one-way trip through the time machine.
- Loudness War: Following his victory, it's shown that Shakespeare has since left the arena and is seen driving around the streets of New York with two women while playing music over the car's subwoofers. It's so loud that it can briefly be heard in the Deathmatch arena before the main event.
- Major Injury Underreaction: Tami and Jacinda managed to team up and throw Jon in the air. He lands on top of Puck, who subsequently gashes his skull open on the refrigerator as he's eating from a jar of peanut butter. He seems blasé about fragments of his brain spilling into the peanut butter.
- Misplaced Retribution: Despite being responsible for causing the injury, Tami is outraged that Puck's brain fragments had contaminated the jar of peanut butter, and holds a vote with Jon and Jacinda to have Puck removed from the fight.
- No-Holds-Barred Beatdown: Jacinda is beaten to death at the hands (or, rather, fists) of Jon and Tami, after the latter makes a "unanimous decision" with the former to do so.
- Noodle Incident: During the main event, Nick starts talking about a time he spent in college, where he had a room mate who used to leave his toenail clippings by the sink. Johnny does not let him continue the story after this point.
- Piranha Problem: After being thrown from his BMX, Puck lands head-first into a fish tank which contains piranha. They very quickly start snacking on his head until nothing but the skull remains.
- Pretty in Mink: Tyra showcases a mink stole during the fashion show, which turns out to be an actual live mink.
- Rapid-Fire Fisticuffs: Busta Rhymes delivers a flurry of punches to Shakespeare.
- Rapid-Fire Nail Biting: Jon's reaction after causing Puck to be thrown from his BMX and into a fish tank containing live piranha.
- Roommate Drama: Considering the premise behind the main event, it's inevitable that tension between Jacinda, Jon, Puck, and Tami would quickly escalate. The arguing starts when Puck and Tami argue over deciding who gets to claim each ring post, and the real fighting begins when Jacinda starts brawling with Puck over it despite Jon trying to keep the peace.
- Rubber Man: Busta Rhymes somehow manages to throw a punch at Shakespeare, only to instead stretch his arm far behind his opponent and swing it back round to actually punch Shakespeare in the back of the head.
- Spectator Casualty:
- When Kate Moss sprays Claudia Schiffer with acid from her jeans, a few unfortunate audience members in the front row also end up getting splashed.
- One unfortunate audience member is hit in the chest with a stray arrow by Shakespeare's crossbow.
- Spikes of Villainy: The dots on Tyra's bikini are not just a quirky pattern. They actually conceal metal spikes that, with the press of a button on the thong, emerge from the dots themselves.
- Spitty Speaker: While delivering commentary, Nick accidentally sprays saliva when speaking directly to Johnny. This prompts a Confession Cam where Johnny reveals his hatred for his colleague.
- Tampering with Food and Drink: While it may have been unintentional, fragments of Puck's brain falls into the open jar of peanut butter following a head injury.
- Third-Person Person: "The Puck" usually refers to himself in this way.
- Trapped in the Past: Busta Rhymes is accidentally sent back to Shakespeare's time when he hides in the time machine from the Automatic Crossbow assault. This results in a humorous throwaway scene that reveals Busta Rhymes has essentially replaced Shakespeare.
- Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny: It's implied that, in the lead-up to this episode, a "tournament of death" had taken place featuring every single cast member of every single series of The Real World (at time of this episode's broadcast, anyway), until the only four remaining are the ones taking part in the main event.
- Vehicular Sabotage: Jon throws a pool cue into the front wheel of Puck's BMX, causing him to be thrown from his bike.
- Voted Out of the Fight: Jacinda, Jon, and Tami all unanimously vote to have Puck removed from the fight.
- Vow of Celibacy: Jon's virginity is brought up during the fight.
- Walking Swimsuit Scene: Tyra is only ever seen wearing a purple bikini with a dotted pattern.
- Would Hit a Girl: Despite calling Puck out earlier for shoving Tami during an argument, Jon actually has no qualms beating Jacinda to death. Granted, he only does so because Tami suggested that they both do it.
