Characters / Half-Life: Alyx but the Gnome is Too Aware

The Gnome

The Gnome/Craigslist

"You have failed the challenge!"

^{Click here to see him in the real world.} 

hee hee!

A seemingly sentient garden gnome that Wayne is tasked with escorting to the end of the game, the Gnome is less of a companion and more of a hindrance to him throughout their journey to the vault.

---

• Blatant Lies: Demonstrates himself to be completely untrustworthy. His favorite is to add nonsensical conditions onto the challenge, but he's not above pretending to have a meltdown and then suddenly stopping with a jolly "not really!"
• Catchphrase: He frequently tells Wayne "STOP!" and "YOU HAVE FAILED THE CHALLENGE!" in response to half of anything he does.
• Chaotic Stupid: Will say and do whatever comes to mind, even if it impedes Wayne's progress, even though the gnome stands to benefit from Wayne reaching the end of the game by getting an ice cream sandwich and some other stuff.
• Cloudcuckoolander: Says weird and nonsensical things, contradicts himself, has childish interests like Peppa Pig while also requiring nicotine to live, and seems to hold great affection for Wayne while also hating his guts.
• Cuckoosnarker: Sometimes will say something genuinely witty out of nowhere.
• Eldritch Abomination: Implied to possibly be one in the final act, and sure as hell starts behaving like one when Wayne reaches the end of the game, and the possibility of him getting free from the game is something that terrifies Gabe Newell. But then it's played for laughs when all the Gnome really does once he's finally free is... Stream video games. Badly.
• Everyone Has Standards: As much of a gadfly and Jerkass the Gnome can be, even they cannot stand the Blue Gnome's presence, consistently calling them a creep and wanting to get as far away from them as possible.
• Foreshadowing: Mentions his "life coins" all the way over in Act 1, long before they become important in Act 4.
• Heroic Sacrifice: He returns to the VR world of Alyx, trading places with Wayne. Since Gabe deleted all of the Gnome Challenge's data, he should be gone.
• Manchild: Thanks to his Vague Age, he flip flops between adult behavior and childish behavior.
• Mood Whiplash: Will whimper and complain one second, and then be perfectly fine the next.
• Moving the Goalposts: Keeps trying to trick Wayne into abandoning the challenge by claiming it has conditions it doesn't, and spuriously claims he's already failed.
• My God, What Have I Done?: After realizing that Wayne (in Gnome form) cannot communicate with him, and that streaming isn't nearly as fun as he thought it would be (it doesn't help that he's not very good at it), he decides to reverse his actions and bring Wayne back to the real world.
• Reality Warper: Seems to gain this ability when the Challenge is completed. He escapes the game and takes over the stream, trapping Wayne in his stead.
• Redemption Equals Death: Despite all the annoying things he's done, and the fact that he traps Wayne in the world of Half-Life 2 as an inanimate, helpless gnome, when he gives up his newfound freedom to get him back, Wayne seems genuinely moved by his sacrifice.
• Signature Laugh: A whimsical "hee hee" that comes out sounding more like "HA HE."
• Stat Meters: He has a seemingly endless amount of meters for Wayne to keep track of, from simple things like hunger to more specific things like cigarettes and then more absurd ones like a Peppa Pig meter.
• Synthetic Voice Actor: His speech is entirely done with a text-to-speech program, and all the quirks that can come from it.
• Trademark Favorite Food: He absolutely craves "Foo Berries" and gummy worms... among other things.
• Took a Level in Badass: In Act 4 he manages to find a small pistol, allowing him to fire upon Wayne's enemies (and Wayne himself sometimes). The problem is he's not very reliable with it.
• Vague Age: He gives his age as both 4 and 32 and has traits fitting both ages; he wants to eat candy and watch Peppa Pig, but also has a girlfriend, loves Devil May Cry, and drinks liquor.
• Verbal Tic: His distinctive whimper when Wayne is upsetting him, his meters are low, or just when he feels like it.
• Vitriolic Best Buds: Wayne and Gnome's relationship, alternating between love and concern for each other to hurling insults.

Alex Trebek/the Voice

A disembodied voice that occasionally interjects whenever Wayne is not paying attention to the Gnome.

---

• Continue Your Mission, Dammit!: Mostly serves this purpose during the stream, whenever Wayne neglects the Gnome's needs or "meters".
• Railroading: Chides Wayne for breaking character.
  The Voice: Alyx was a kind person. By being rude to the Gnome, you are desyncing from the Animus!
• Synthetic Voice Actor: Played by a Text-To-Speech version of the late Alex Trebek.

Spoiler Character

The Blue Gnome

"You bring me joy!"

Oh, sir!

A blue-hatted gnome that Wayne finds lodged into a broken window's hole in the zoo, it initially tries to sway him into taking him to the Vault instead, before starting to stalk and make various unwanted advances towards him.

---

• Abhorrent Admirer: To Wayne, much to his horror.
• Actually Pretty Funny: Some of his sexual comments are so graphic, disgusting, or ludicrous that Wayne can't help but burst out laughing.
• Ain't Too Proud to Beg: Is not above outright begging for sex, in as many words.
• Ambiguously Related: The Gnome seems to apparently know him in some regard, but this being The Gnome, that doesn't really clear anything up.
  Wayne: What is that? Do you know him?
  Gnome: hey man! real talk! this guy is de worst. he is a bitch!
  Wayne: So you do know him. Is he from your... your gnome family? Are you related? You told me about the gnome village.
  Gnome: YES! oh ya! yeAGH! i wish i did not! no this guy is just an asshole.
• Apologises a Lot: Tries to apologise multiple times for his advances, but only when he's trying to persuade Wayne to take him to the end of the game and never changes his behavior, making him look manipulative.
• Asshole Victim: As much as he outwardly tries to present himself as helpful, his disgusting comments more than seal his fate.
• Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: Acts in a jovial and silly manner like the gnome right up until the sexual advances start, and then it's all downhill from there.
• Body Horror: Claims he can retract his teeth, to Wayne's horror.
• Crazy Jealous Guy: WAY too into Wayne, to the extent of harassing him and insisting he leave the gnome behind.
• Cruel and Unusual Death: Gets slowly crushed in a garbage compactor. Though lessened somewhat by the fact that he seemed to be enjoying it.
• The Dreaded: Wayne begins to fear his appearances, to the point he screams and scrambles away in horror when the Blue Gnome suddenly appears in a cabinet he opens. Even after their death, Wayne is extremely hesitant to say anything that might be construed as an innuendo, afraid that it might cause the Blue Gnome to come back.
• Green-Eyed Monster: Envies the gnome, and wishes to take his place and receive Wayne's affection.
• Harmless Villain: Hilariously zig-zagged; Aside from his Offscreen Teleportation and (possibly) controlling the blue enemies later on, he's not able to physically hurt Wayne anymore than the original Gnome is, but his constant sexual advances are so revolting that Wayne regards him as a threat on his insufferableness alone, to the point where just tossing him into the air and shooting him like a clay pigeon is treated with all the seriousness of an actual boss fight.
• Hopeless Suitor: Because of his actions, his affection for Wayne is doomed to being one-sided.
• Jerkass: Aside from his polite facade, he relentlessly makes graphic sexual advances despite Wayne's obvious lack of interest.
• Jerkass Has a Point: When Wayne tries to reality-check with the red gnome about whether or not they need him:
  Blue Gnome: [Indignantly] Why are you asking him?!
• Killed Off for Real: Gets broken into various pieces by Wayne via trash compactor.
• Last Episode, New Character: Is introduced, and later killed off, in the final Act of the series.
• Lovable Sex Maniac: Averted, hard. The Blue Gnome's constant advances and kinky requests disturb Wayne quickly, and his reappearances after his introduction cause massive discomfort and genuine terror for Wayne and The Gnome.

  Wayne: Dude, you hurt! You— I've never met anyone in my entire life that HURTS. You HURT. You feel painful to experience.

• Offscreen Teleportation: Reappears in random and unlikely spots throughout the game.
• Sexual Euphemism: Makes use of these to buttress his more overt come-ons. At one point he begs Wayne to "finish" his "challenge," and shoot him with his "gun."
• Sophisticated as Hell: He has a grandiose way of speaking, referring to Wayne as "sir" and calling the Gnome a "scoundrel." In between this, he repeatably screams for Wayne to fuck him.
• Stalker with a Crush: Begins following Wayne and the Gnome after their first encounter, popping up at random points to try and seduce Wayne into abandoning the gnome to take him instead all while begging him to use him for sexual acts.
• Synthetic Voice Actor: Just like the other gnome, his voice is done with a text-to-speech program, specifically with NovelAI.
• Too Kinky to Torture: Almost every effort to dispose of him from Wayne, from shooting him to smacking and tossing him around, seems to give him more pleasure than hurt. Even his last words and dying screams in the trash compactor sound excited.
• Unusual Euphemism: Despite his graphic forwardness, sometimes he will resort to metaphor.
  Blue Gnome: My challenge is suuooo hard, sir!
• Viler New Villain: While Wayne has experienced horrid fates before and had to deal with such irritations as Benrey, never before has anybody discomforted Wayne in such a way that he could describe it only as pain.
• Verbal Tic: His wheezing, which often kicks in after Wayne throws him.

Other Spoiler Character

Gabe Newman/Gabe Newell

Please enjoy our new RPG, it's called "Poop and the Power of Pee", we made it bad on purpose.

The head of Valve who left messages via commentary nodes in the Gnome Challenge for whomever would dare it.

---

• And Your Little Dog, Too!: One of the commentary nodes has Gabe very overtly threaten Wayne if he does not stop playing the game, that Gabe will also send the Team Fortress 2 mercenaries after him to shoot rockets at his dog Dolby, whom he also mockingly misnames as "Dollboy".
• Ambiguous Situation: The last commentary node. The Gnome claims to have created the earlier nodes in the final stream, but the last node tells the player not to continue any further, making it unclear if this one is real. The edited version implies that it is really Gabe, as the subtitles refer to him as "Gabe Newell" after consistently calling him "Gabe Newman" ever since he introduced himself as such. The following Mood Whiplash where he announces "Poop and the Power of Pee" is credited to Gabe Newman, implying that the latter was a trick but that the former was genuine.
• Captain Obvious: The commentary node in front of a big stuffed gorilla:
  Gabe: I'm Gabe Newell. Welcome to the zoo. That right there is a gorilla.
• Disproportionate Retribution:
  • Originally, the Borealis was an adorable little tugboat. However, since Valve's testers felt sad about destroying it, he cancelled Half Life 3.
  • Because Wayne wouldn't stop pressing the commentary node for more dialogue, he warned that he'd sent the Mercenaries after Wayne to fire rockets at him and hit him and his dog Dolby with hammers. After Wayne pushes over the commentary node, he bans his Steam account.
• The Fourth Wall Will Not Protect You: He warns the player that if they still hear or see the Gnome in the Vault, then they should stop playing the game. Unfortunately, Wayne does not heed this.
• Mood Whiplash: The second last message is a monologue on how Half Life came to be and what the Gnome really is. The final message? Gabe announcing Valve's newest RPG: Poop And The Power Of Pee, which they made bad on purpose. The latter is implied to be another troll by the Gnome.
• Mr. Exposition: The final commentary node has a message, implied to have been made by the real Gabe Newell, that explains the truth behind Half Life and the Gnome.
• My Greatest Failure: Releasing Half Life to the public. At first, he felt nothing peculiar of it, but during the development of Episode 2, he had a horrid dream that seemed beautiful, but had a tinge of fear hidden within. His feelings on the matter, however, didn't stop Valve from releasing it or eventually developing and releasing Alyx.
• Secret-Keeper: Upon the first completion of the Gnome Challenge, all of the commentary nodes are erased from every copy of the game, meaning he intended for whomever first completed the run to be this. However, the Gnome Challenge was streamed, meaning that thousands of people witnessed his confessions live.
• Unreliable Expositor: It's unknown how many of the commentary nodes are from Gabe or made up by the gnome.
• Unwitting Instigator of Doom: Facilitating the creation and release of Half-Life and unleashing the Gnome upon the world wasn't entirely intentional.