The Reason You Suck Speech / Web Original


Creators/contributors with their own lists:


Others

  • Arlo gives a 9 minute-long speech calling out Nintendo as a whole over Paper Mario: Color Splash, and how asinine and arbitrary changing the direction of the Paper Mario games is.
  • In an episode of his show The Big Picture titled "NOT OKAY" centred on sexism in nerd culture, Moviebob gave a massive one to Aris Bakhtanians (a Fighting Game Community coach who had treated one of his teammates to an escalating string of sexual harassment) and to everyone else who seeks to rationalise casual use of hate-speech in the FGC simply because they feel entitled to say such things.
    (Bakhtanians being quoted): (when asked "Can I get my Street Fighter without sexual harassment?") "You can't. You can't because they're one and the same thing. This is a community that's, you know, 15 or 20 years old, and the sexual harassment is part of a culture, and if you remove that from the fighting game community, it's not the fighting game community—it's StarCraft."
    Moviebob: ...Wow. I think what I like best about that asinine statement is that he had to get a fanboy dig in at a supposed rival part of competitive gaming, using StarCraft as a kind of in-community curse word the way American talk-radio guys use "European". Stay classy, bro.

    I don't think I need to add anything else to this particular incident, that it speaks to the continued infection of too much of modern gaming by a strain of paranoid male entitlement, and a vicious, anxiety-fuelled hatred of women should be obvious on its face. But I am kind of fascinated by the thesis of the guy's central argument — i.e. that he thinks his behaviour should be acceptable because he considers it to be part of the Fighting Game Community's "identity" — mostly because it's the same thesis that tends to be used to justify damn near every instance of sexism, racism, homophobia etc. that pops up in the world of Internet geek culture, a culture that paradoxically defines itself as a shared experience of social marginalization, but can just as often be seen practising just as much insular conformity within its own borders. How often have we heard that sexism, misogyny or casual racism in this or that community is just part of the way things are there, and how any insinuation that this supposed default status might be a bad thing is violently shrugged off? Particularly my favourite variation on this theme: invoked"Aww, come on, man! This is, like, the last place on Earth where it's okay for guys to talk like this!" As though some kind of sacred tradition is being preserved by not calling bullies out on their bullying.

    Hey, uh, genius? Lean your ears up real close: THERE SHOULDN'T BE ANY PLACE WHERE IT'S OKAY, BECAUSE IT'S NOT OKAY!

    It's NOT OKAY to harass women! It's NOT OKAY to quote-unquote "slut-shame"! It's NOT OKAY to hurl racist or homophobic slurs as a form of verbal violence! It's NOT OKAY to use "rape" as a casual synonym for defeat! And it's REALLY NOT OKAY that I have to explain that to anybody! I do not accept the premise that sexual harassment, misogyny, bigotry or hatred of any kind is somehow integral to the Fighting Game Community or any other community in video games or anywhere else, but if such a community does exist? Yeah, it's wrong, and should be called out as such, and disinfected via SUNLIGHT!

    Of course, this will inevitably draw responses about "Free Speech!" and the First Amendment from people who do not understand either of those things. Free Speech as a legal concept only guarantees you the right to speak. It doesn't guarantee you the right to be heard, it doesn't guarantee you the right to be agreed with, it certainly does not guarantee you the right for your Speech to not be challenged by someone else's Speech, and most importantly of all: it doesn't mean you can't suffer consequences if and when your Free Speech is used to cause harm to someone, which is exactly what sexual harassment, racial slurs and verbal bigotry are! That's not "censorship", that's fairness!
  • In Idiotsitter, the episode "The Ex-Boyfriend," Billie and her ex exchange these with her ex pointing out the facade she was pulling (trying to pass off the Russel mansion as her house and Gene as her maid), and saying Gene pities her, and should. Her response?
    Billie: You know, maybe I am just an employee. I'm a nanny, actually. I'm not rich, and on the back of my own book jackets-which doesn't make sense, cause books don't get cold. But at least I'm a good person. And that is something you'll never be.
    Dobbs: How many times you rehearse that?
    Billie: Dammit! Fuck you, you look like Winona Ryder.
  • Sam of Sams Channel gave one one his facebook page to Zack Snyder when Zack claimed the reason people didn't like Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice was because it was a Deconstruction:
    "We learned that people don't like seeing their heroes deconstructed." For God's sake, fuck off. Having your characters mope about engaging in tedious important-sounding dialogues does not make your movie ABOUT anything. Your film is not an intelligent thinkpiece and your characters are poorly realised. The sooner you accept that, and stop blaming its reception on being because it was 'too smart for Marvel fans', the sooner your films MIGHT actually change for the better. Deconstructing your hero lies within understanding them. Spider-Man 2 deconstructs its hero. Winter Soldier deconstructs its hero. Batman Begins, The Incredibles, even bloody Iron Man 3 deconstructs its hero to a degree. You, on the other hand, bend yours over backwards to make them grim and gritty for the sake of it under the false pretences of making the material more mature and complex. Those are two very different things. Once again, fuck off. Rant over.
  • This user's post "An Open Letter To Family Guy":
    "So good job, you insane bastards posing as writers. You turned a charming pervert into a rapist bully. You turned a snarky, sophisticated canine into a dislikable soapbox. And worst of all..You turned a mentally challenged character into a sociopath. As someone with mental challenges, that is fucking disgraceful."
  • Slowbeef gives one of these to Quadraxis14 in the SNES9X Retsupurae. Here is the speech without the Verbal Tic:
    Shut up! There are no viewers. No one watched this to the end except me. It is a seriously horrible video, Quadraxis14. There is no skill in replaying the same thing over and reloading save states over and over again. A monkey could do this. A kid can do this. It doesn't matter. I don't know what the point of the video is. I don't know why you're doing it. It will not make you popular in school. It will not get you girls or anything. It's a waste of time. I'm sorry. I'm taking away from "On Liberty".
  • In the final part of a commentary on JonFawkes' Everything Wrong with RWBY Vol.3(Cinemasins Parody), MidnightAnubis gave him one by debunking the parody defense in JonFawkes' title.
    Midnight: See, most parodies provide commentary on the original work. Whether subtly or not, they still mostly provide commentary. One example being South Park’s parody on a Samwell song, where they provided commentary on the ridiculousness of the original video and viral nature of certain Youtube videos. So tell me clone, where’s the commentary on Cinemasins’ original series? What are you poking fun at? Because to me, this looks about the same as Cinemasins’ regular vids with the exception of the voice and media. Even down to some of the jokes, ripped right out of the source material. So again, where’s the parody in this? Unless your idea of parody is sinning stuff like puns and references, which, well, Cinemasins have done the same thing, and it was just as stupid there. So that doesn’t work. Really, I see this video trilogy as more of a rip-off than actual parody based on all this. And don’t even get me started on trademark law. Because that’s a whole nother issue in itself, especially when you plagarize pretty much everything from Cinemasins right down to the thumbnail, which could potentially confuse new viewers who don’t look at the title or channel name. So yeah, even your parody defense doesn’t work here.
  • In the B.O.P commentary, Conker's Bad Kyah Day, Rion "Rhino" Mills, MasterTP10, DigitalTy and Silver all gave one to the person they're commentating on, Conker, after criticizing the rant video Conker made on a friend of his.
    Silver: Wow, I'm genuinely surprised by how much empathy you managed to go out of your way to not have. You claimed to give constructive criticism in this video, and, by not providing any examples of what this constructive criticism was, you proceeded to in this video provide examples of how you want to beat Kyah, berate her, practically belittle her depression. Yeah excellent work on that one. Seriously, a lot of the problems that you provided in this video were problems that either should have died down or only got worse because you decided to step in and go "Hi everyone, I'm going to be a cheeky, cheeky cunt today." I'm sorry but if this is the way you approach a variety of your problems, by simply acting like a dick and then expecting it to just be all like "Oh yeah, that's fine, that's great, thanks, I'm really glad you told me that." Y'know, maybe it's a good thing that Kyah isn't friends with you anymore. Lord knows I wouldn't wanna be.
    Rion: Conker, I want to put this in perspective. Legit, 100% perspective. It's very, very, very rare that after I make a commentary on someone, I continue to have strong negative feelings towards that person. And while I admit that you're not beyond improvement, there's nothing but hard feelings on this one, like we ain't ever being homies until you get your attitude together. And in the smaller than decent chance that you do get better, it'll be a long time over until that happens the way I see it. Because like I said before, even in your comeback video months later, you're still just as bad, and I can't really see anything in the near future that involves you getting better than you are here in any regard, and that legit saddens me.
    MasterTP10: Conker, in the beginning of this video, you mentioned that Kyah entered your life in a time that you needed someone most, because real life was being a bitch to you. Now here we see Kyah, who's shown signs of depression, loneliness, other things one might view as tragic and that could be a sign that she needs someone in her life. And where was her former best friend? If this video is anything to go by it was mock her, have the people who now follow him mock her too, and make her situation worse. Is this really how you're going to repay an old friend? And for what, a picture she drew that, joke or not, you took too seriously? Something she apologized for? I'm not going to say that Kyah has no faults or that everything you said was wrong, that would be stupid on my end. But when you're comparing her to one of the most reviled people on the internet (Christian Weston Chandler), making comments on her supposed inability to get laid, and going on about things that died months before you even made your rant video, maybe you should take your Killer Instinct looking ass, look at yourself in the mirror, and think to yourself "Is what I'm doing the right thing?" Real talk, I don't usually think of the people I'm commentating on as bad people and if I do, it's usually for things that are outside of the video I'm covering. For this one instance, this is not just a bad video. This is not just me making a rant of you misusing irony like I did in Rion's video on you. This video makes you come off as a despicable human being. Irredeemable? No. Even the worst can improve. And I give you that you think Kyah can improve as well, so you know, not the worst. But maybe you can do without acting like a bastard the whole ride through. Maybe in your next video, whenever the fuck that may be, we can see you not acting like a total douche carpet. Your move.
    DigitalTy: Ok, to put this in perspective when Rion asked me to be a part of this comm I thought "Well, this video is gonna be bad" and that might be the end of it. I thought that you know, we'd riff the shit out of it while still making points and memes and just have a fun old time. But the longer that this video went on it just got worse, and worse, and worse, and so much worse. Legit you have to do a lot to make me mad at you, and while you might wanna chalk this up to hyperbole if you wish, but this is one of the angriest I've ever gotten at a video. You wanna rant about a person? Fine, whatever, I can't say it's not the Youtube norm now. But this video was the epitome of how to be a fucking scumbag. You got on her case for so many little and oh so very personal reasons, your evidence blows, your presentation blows, and overall, you're not a very nice person Conker dude. I know that this video was made a while ago and that you viewers might raise the question "does he regret what he did?" Well so far it doesn't seem to be the case, in fact as the time of writing the script he hasn't posted anything on Youtube for half a year which really leads to the conclusion that he hasn't really thought a lot of this through. Hell, the positive reception this video got doesn't really help this case either. Now, is he automatically void of improvement? Well as these fucks have said before me, no, but after sitting through this train wreck, he has a hell of a way to go. If you can improve on everything we brought up, then great. But so far it's hard to tell if that'll ever be the case, and your inactivity doesn't really help the case either. Now I don't wanna say "go fuck yourself"...but go fuck yourself is where I'm getting at.
    • In another B.O.P commentary, Joshie's Woobly World, after four commentators criticize a commentary on a countdown by countdown artist, Meta527II, one of the commentators, RickyRay102 gave one to the two people being commentated on, Blackish Butler and Son Of Sparda, during his final thoughts.
    Ricky Ray: This whole video just reeks of a commentary for the sake of a commentary. Nothing else. You added absolutely nothing new to the Meta bandwagon and just nitpicked the shit out of the original video hoping that it would fly with everybody simply for being a video about bashing Meta. Because he's never right about anything. This video's pretty much an embodiment of the old saying "Am I cool yet guys?"
  • In Rion "Rhino" Mills episode 43 of "Let's Just Comment" Jew Man Group Is Cancelled, Rion gives one to the youtuber who he's commentating on, UTubeDude when UTubeDude said that he doesn't want the person he's commentating on to improve, but to stop making videos altogether.
    So basically, once again like a lot of your other commentaries, you wanna do the exact opposite of what commentators are meant to do, and follow the commentator stereotype as an obnoxious, destructive, tool, with no real intent to help others, but with the intent to tear others down. Listen, I just wanna get real with you guys for a second. I know I come off as pretty sarcastic and occasionally douchey in some of my videos, but I make these videos to help. Not drive away. If anyone I commentated on now came back and improved, I'd embrace them with open arms. Heck that's what I did with Doodletones, Galeforce, and Starmaker. Now I'm not saying you can't just make videos to debate, but when you're destroying someone's image, or tearing another person down like you did here is your main priority, which you pretty much flat out said was the case, then I'm sorry sir, you get no respect from me, try again.
    • In episode 49, Bring_Back_T(u)MPAC, after he finished criticising a commentary by commentator Mister_Power_Armor (who made a commentary on YouTuber SilokHawk's Top 10 Worst Gen 7 Pokemon) with fellow commentators George Racoon, Doodletones, and AnnabethRide, he and George both give one to Mister_Power_Armor during their final thoughts.
    George Racoon: Holy fucking shit, I can not believe how much of a prick you were throughout the entire video. You were plain unlikable and, may I add your humor was nearly nonexistant. Even if your points were good, there's nothing salvagable about this video in terms of entertainment value. But then again, that's implying this video had good points to begin with. Also, the most important thing any commentator should do is to never constantly shit on your target. Plus, the poor presentation side of things shows that you don't even care given the limited amount of avatar images, the poor audio balancing, and so on and so forth. I could go on, but I need to let everybody else have a say. My advice is that you should really reconsider your way of commentating. If you keep this up, I highly doubt you'd be liked content wise given how shitty this video turned out.

    Rion "Rhino" Mills: Ok, so, I wanna put this in perspective. Anybody remember Episode 43? That little speech I had at the end? (Flashback to Episode 43 of "Let's Just Comment") You wanna do the exact opposite of what commentators are meant to do, and follow the commentator stereotype as an obnoxious, destructive, tool, with no real intent to help others, but with the intent to tear others down. Well congratulations! You're now JewManGroup, how's it feel? And I wanna clarify right now to those saying "but Rion, you guys were harsh too." Well one, our jokes were clearly hyperbole as you can tell in our acting while Power_Armor's insults mostly just came off as bitter and unpleasant. Two, we actually had reasons to be salty given that Power_Armor constantly fed SilokHawk words he never said, and was just an overall jerk to him over ding, dangingly, video games. And three, like I said before, harsh humor done right is fine, but the problem here is the key words, done right. If you DO insist on constantly insulting your target or just being harsh, kinda clarifying what George said a minute ago, the least you could do is do something outside of just calling him stupid every few seconds, make it clear that the anger is played up, and/or, try to actually write something clever. Legit, it's hard for me to take you seriously, or not see you as extremely unlikable if your entire gimmick is that you're more concerned with making Silok feel like the scum of the Earth instead of actually helping him as a content creator, and if you're not even going to put in the effort to make your video bearable to watch.
    [...]
    Seriously, you really need to reconsider how you make commentaries, because if this is the style you plan to go with in terms of your videos, I'm afraid to say you're probably not going to make it that far in the commentary community. Like, at all.
  • In Renegade Master’s commentary on Weegee Plays, Weegee’s Number Zero, where he criticised Weegee's video that criticised the Blue Yeti microphone, in the middle of his commentary, Renegade gives on to Weegee for plagiarising another YouTuber’s video on the same subject.
    I might as well address the elephant in the room. This video blatantly steals many lines from another YouTuber, soulbrotha. soulbrotha made a multi-part educational video to let people know how to get better overall audio quality to get into the voice acting industry.The fact that the Blue Yeti was ill-advised was simply one small part of a far more complex topic. Not the subject of the whole damn video. The goal of soulbrotha’s original video was to inform people with a passion for voice acting on the how-to’s when it comes to making the most out of their talent. Compare it to knob over here who’s complaining about shit that can be fixed in audacity and complaining about consumers using a consumer level product to it’s full potential. Hell, quoting the same facts is one thing, but how about the exact same recommendations on what components to buy? Or the same jokes for that matter? At this point it stops being a reference and it just becomes a lazy copy and paste fest of someone else’s work. So not only is this video taking research someone else did and presenting it like it was his own, Weegee found a way to make several points come off as wrong from how he presented these facts. Aside from the plagiarism, the title deserves credit for how retarded it is. (Shows image of the title of Weegee’s video, Why The Blue Yeti Sucks) Not only is it desperate clickbait, but it also manages to undermine the points soulbrotha’s original video made by putting the equipment above the person using it. Really, the only thing missing is for the title to be in all caps for it to be top tier YouTube garbage. I mean knob worked so hard ctrl-c ctrl-v’ing the video together, he totally deserves the views compared to the people who actually did the work. Oh, but wait, the audio quality is really nice, I guess that makes all these issues miniscule due to how professional his blatant plgiarism is.
  • In Aeron Tempest’s commentary on Lily Peet, Digital Dissections: Episode 2 - Lily Peet: A Digital Homicide Story, after Aeron Tempest criticises her Glass of Water - An Artist Meltdown Story for many things such as the arguments she presented, plagiarism, and spreading false information about Joshscorcher, Aeron gives one to Lily during his final thoughts
    Now it’s clear that you wanna be the Jim Sterling of the Brony community, but there’s a difference between you and Jim Sterling. When I hear Jim Sterling, I think Jim Sterling. When I hear Lily Peet, I think Moviebob, Yahtzee, TV Tropes, Joshscorcher, and of course, Jim Sterling. In fact, you strike me more as a Digital Homocide than a Jim Sterling. Let’s go down the list shall we? Tried and failed to claim the moral high ground from their critics? Check. Taking assets from somebody without giving credit in a work that’s clearly monetized? Check. Claiming people who call out their stolen assets are bad for the overall field they’re in? Check. Claimed harassment when they were the ones who started the drama in the first place? Check. Curating comments section which specifically target comments that criticize you no matter how civil it was delivered? Check. Slaughtering Grounds music? Chec-you see my point right? I don’t know where you got the idea that in a world filled with people who do shady stuff on the internet that you would somehow get away with it. But consider this a warning. People aren’t as stupid as you think Lily, and someone’s always keeping tabs on naughty little scamps on the internet, no matter how sneaky they think they are. Steal lines or segments from other YouTubers? Someone will catch on and provide proof you did it. Lied about drama that happened months if not years ago? Someone will come to set the record straight. Curate your YouTube and Tumblr accounts to censor criticism? You’ll just give the censored parties a bigger microphone to yell into. Erect a high horse built off misrepresentation and lies, and someone will promptly tear it to shreds like the farce it is. Word of the wise Lily, you will get caught, and you’d better be prepared to be held accountable for your actions when you get caught.
    [...]
    By the way, in case someone wants to get one me for making a whole bunch of Jim Sterling quotes in this segment, I not only acknowledge this, but I also put more effort in ripping Jim off in this segment than Lily did in her entire channel. Furthermore, there’s a point I’m making. To highlight how ironic it is for someone to be ripping off Jim Sterling so heavily while embodying the elements that Jim would call someone out on.
  • In Boon Cannon #18 Sereous Nation Station Situation, when the person commentators Boonslayer and 8363MTR are commentating on, SkeletonNation says that making a 15 minute and 27 second video on a 8 minute and 20 second video is so dumb that it needs no explanation, after giving multiple examples of well received videos that did that, along with Boonslayer pointing out how SkeletonNation is guilty of doing actions similar to that, Boonslayer gives one to SkeletonNation.
    Boonslayer: And that's the problem with this whole video. Your statements are so full to the brim with hypocrisy that there's no way to take anything you say seriously. You've taken statements that other people have said about you and twisted them so that they can apply to other situations when they don't. Your presentation is passable, save for mic quality but in case you didn't notice I don't tend to get on people for that too often, but it's such a shame that you talk out of your ass so much that I'm surprised that the screen doesn't turn brown as I watch your video. So, here's my advice. Use your brain. Plain and simple. And if that's a bit too hard for you at this time, I understand that you're a bit on the younger side, then maybe take a break for a little while and come back when your mind allows you to think more logically about what you're saying.
    This video at first didn't bother me that much. Then I watched it a second time and got pissed off enough to make this commentary. Then I got even more mad as I was writing this script as you provide nothing but speculation and opinions that you for some reason think counter opinions along with blatantly wrong facts about the original show and a giant helping of hypocrisy to go along with it. I won't be surprised if I want to strangle you by the time I'm done editing, although I doubt it since then I no longer will have to register to my brain the garbage spewing from your mouth and instead just focus on making sure the clips line up. Neros, I have some advice for you. Read over your script before you actually make the video. In fact, maybe have someone else read over your script. I'm sure if you had a second pair of eyes on the thing, they probably would have caught all the times you used comparisons to the original show as standalone points when you're preaching how the new show shouldn't be compared to the original show. Especially since you plan on doing more of these and how you plan on covering JonTron and others, I get the impression that if you don't get your shit straight, it won't be pretty when you deal with someone with a two million subscriber fanbase. Good luck. But seriously, you've got a lot of work before you can tackle the type of stuff you want to tackle successfully.
  • The Jimquisition episode "When Jim Sterling Was Sued For $10 Million By Digital Homicide" is a long "The Reasons You Suck" speech by Jim Sterling directed to the Romine Brothers of Digital Homicide, the indie developer of The Slaughtering Grounds infamy. The Romine Brothers reacted to Jim's criticism of their games by suing him and silencing him in the process, only for them to escalate matters until they tried to subpoena Steam for the identities of those who left negative reviews of their games (leading to Steam de-listing all of their games). Eventually, the case against Jim was dismissed with prejudice; the case is closed and cannot be re-opened. Shortly thereafter, Digital Homicide ran out of money and was dissolved. Jim took the opportunity right afterward to tear the Romines a new one.
  • In The F.O.X commentary, Middle School Musical: Crab Soccer where four commentators critique a review of an episode of Whatever Happened to... Robot Jones? by Alexander Cayford, two of the commentators, Illiniguy34 and Boonslayer, gives one to Alexander during their final thoughts.
    Illiniguy34: Alex, I've known of your existsence for about two years at this point of time and you've hardly changed a damn thing about your content, and holy crap do you need a major refresh. Your arguments are so unfocused that they got pulled over for drunk driving on top of being total horseshit, and you're the Carlos Mencia of cartoon reviewers. (In regards to copying material from other content creators) Honest to god, when I first discovered of your existence, I thought that your content was crappy but at the same time, part of me was thinking that eventually you'd carve out your own identity to at least stand out from the crowd in some fashion...but, that was stupid of me. Take me for example, I've taken in feedback from multiple people, including my fellow peers in the commentary community, as well as find my own audience to climb up the subscriber ladder, and more importantly have a much better like to dislike ratio than your videos. Oh and I try to be different and not like multiple other people. You just take whatever the fuck you find and just lazily slap it in your videos. That shit's disgusting dude.

    Boonslayer: Ok, so my audience probably already knows some of my major pet peeves. Rip-off artists, people who omit the other side of the argument when they could at the very least address that it even exists, and general dishonesty. And that's just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to problems with this video. Even your fucking icon is a ripoff of Rebel Taxi. I'm starting to wonder if you have an original idea in your fucking brain. You completely ignore shows where the school setting works and completely ignore anybody else's point of view in regards to how much they remember of high school. Protip: Just because you had no social life doesn't mean other people didn't have one. Fuck I was pretty much a loner out of necessity in Middle school, and I still relate to Robot Jones' small group of friends. Actually I can relate to Robot Jones a lot. Most of my life I felt like an outsider in a more normal world. Hell it's taken me years to find people who I feel I'm the same species as, so I'm probably the exact target audience they were going for. And then there's the general dishonesty. You called one of the last traditionally animated shows on television "cheap" when the reason traditionally animated television has been phased out was because of how not-cheap it is. I'm not even going to fault you for saying the animation is "a little on the ugly side" because that would be telling you how refined my butthole is compared to yours...but fuck, you do that with your audience anyway don't you? And then...there's that last little blurb of text you placed there. (Note from the original video telling the audience to "Please Ignore the Official Release") Let me explain why I don't give a fuck if this was supposed to be a joke. See, the reviewers job is not to tell people that the show is garbage and to not look to it for themselves. The reviewer's job is to provide their own opinions. And you know what, if you don't wanna recommend this show, that's your business But this is on your production splash screen. It doesn't matter if you don't like the show, the placement of this statement means that if you aren't trying to joke, you are instead, directly insulting the people who put their hard work and dedication into the project that you are reviewing! I have never seen a reviewer outright attack the very essence of a show in a manner like this! Not even Mr. Enter would stoop this fucking low! My advice; go fuck yourself! *Inhales*
    George Racoon: Damn son.
  • When YouTuber commentator Louden Styles made a video talking about the history of the commentary community and how division led to nothing in response to several commentators forming an ‘Alt CC’, commentator Dillin Thomas made a response video where he criticized Louden’s video for believing the Alt CC shouldn’t get any credit and that Louden was a part of the cycle of drama in the CC. In return, Louden Styles made his own response video. After talking about how Dillin frequently missed the point, stated false information, and made faulty comparisons, he then gives one to Dillin for his behavior in the video.
    You came off as such a petulant child with this self absorbed attitude asking why no one credited the Alt for anything. As if the Alt itself really did anything. You question why I or any others don’t credit the Alt for what they did. Here’s my question. What did you really do? Aside from pulling an Attack on Tryhard and since you don’t know them since you got your history wrong in this video, Attack on Tryhard was formed because of issues people had within the community, and ultimately they died off. With that history lesson over, what have you or any others amongst the Alt CC do besides cause more drama, set over the top rules that no one followed, or, here’s the better one, not having clear intent on the purpose of the Alt CC? Why the blue fuck should I care about the Alt and what it was trying to change when they didn’t know what the hell they wanted to do with themselves? The Alt wasn’t a group of differing opinions like you say, it was a group of differing motivations, so yeah, hard for me to give a shit about a small island that split off from another small island because reasons and unclear answers.
    [...]
    How do you even exist? 5 minutes of you wanting to hear yourself talk. That’s all I got from this because anything you try to debate was literally shit that was already mentioned and pointed out in the original video and goes over your head because you don’t get it. That’s literally a trope in everything you do, you speak out on something you have very little info on and you pretty much rush into something without paying attention. And since I brought up Boon’s skype group that you plugged in your video and said was yours…(shows screenshot of the skype group proving it belongs to commentator Boonslayer and not Dillin Thomas) Oh. Oh look. It’s proof of how much of a liar you are. Oops. How did that get there? (shows another screenshot of Dillin being added to the skype group) I-I dunno it just showed up. Whew. You done fucked up boy. You fucked up hard. Dillin, you said in your video that I became the cycle when I made my video. Well what does that make you when you responded to something you clearly don’t understand and you very clearly didn’t get? That makes you the cancer.
  • After commentator That7thBloodyDragon made a commentary on Doodletones where he harassed her for things such as having trouble with Loud-Only Heists in PAYDAY 2, being transgender, and for an alleged fetish, commentator DigitalTy, who previously commentated on him in the past, made a response, calling out Dragon for his behavior.
    Before I go into this, I wanna make this clear. Believe it or not, I’m not actually upset at the fact that you even dared to call Mama Doodles a he, or the accursed DoodleDiapers nickname. I mean, if you wanna think that I am then by all means , go live in your fantasy land. No no no no, I’m upset at the fact that you didn’t even try man. Now don’t get me wrong, there’s stuff of Doodles that’s worth criticising her for. But Dragon, you’re essentially repeating the same shit that random commentator of the millisecond shat out without putting any thought or care into it. You have spewed the same shit that’s been out of style for the past ever now, and really it’s just exhausting to even riff on this shit because it’s so tired. There’s being a dick to your targets, and then there’s just being part of the herd. Now if this was all on it’s own, maybe I’d be upset about it for a little bit and then just move on after thinking about it for a little more. But Dragon, buddy, amigo, does this not at all seem familiar? Do you not remember the last time I covered you and brought up almost the same exact fucking things? Remember the spiteful attitude? Remember the media clips? What’s changed? Not to be fair I did get a little too uppity in that video. Honestly I don’t really care if you jest at your targets so long as you don’t make it too spiteful and/or you make it entertaining. You know, just basic shit. But you seemed to learn virtually nothing from my video on you. Well done. I was willing to give you a pass back then because that was your first commentary, but guess what? You saw my video and it’s been 9 months since then. If you have an excuse I would love to hear it.
    Before I end, I have a couple other things that I want to say. I want to address the possible comment that’ll basically amount to “well, missing the points in a video just to point out how mean this guy is?” Lemme put it like this. If your first moments in a video is just bland and mean spirited nothingness, then you pretty much lose all care that I have into watching your shit. And that is a problem, because making impressions is important for other people to listen to your points. If you show that you’re just going to repeat the same shit, I’m just gonna click away from the video and not listen to anything else you have to say because you already lost my attention and that’s gonna go to someone else. Second, let’s just assume this is bait. You’re essentially baiting with foreskin, you’re baiting nothing. No one’s gonna take you seriously if you keep spouting out the same shit that other have said, it’s not gonna happen.But let’s say that you were also using this as a form to get negative attention. In which case, that’s fucking pathetic. And keep that mindset up, you’re likely end up in a scenario where you’ll regret this and you’re gonna struggle to climb your way back up. If you’re gonna have fun with negative attention, I’ll just have fun ripping you to shreds because I aim to please, even if that includes just myself.
    [...]
    When I made my first video on you, I believed that if you fixed your issues, you’d become a well liked commentator, but right now you’re learning nothing. And if you keep this up, you’re gonna end up as the same fate as any other washed out commentator in the past.
  • In Doodletones’ (now removed) commentary on Emer Prevost, Gimme My Shekels, one of the commentators, Kayden Marx gives one to Prevost after he and Doodletones finish criticizing his video about how the controversy YouTube policy of de-monetizing videos for sensitive or controversial subjects is blown out of proportion and that the people complaining about it only care about making money through their videos and should get “real jobs” while also asking for his viewers to donate money to him in the same video.
    Kayden Marx: Fuck off. J-just fuck off. You’re the greatest case of using double standards that I’ve seen in my life. You spend an entire video trying to make this whole diatribe that you’re better than everyone else because you “don’t do this for the money” yet, what do you do in your own video? Shill, shill, shill. You have no sense of morality, you have no sense of fair gain, you have no sense of hard work, you have no sense of good quality, and you have no shits on your fans. You are a classic man of saying one thing and doing another, and honestly, it’s sad. If I can be frank, when I started writing this, I was mainly just doing a favor for Doodle to double check her script before making it. But the more I kept watching your video, the more I wanted to find the highest tree in my town and see if it could hold your weight. Yes [Kayden’s jokes making fun of Emer’s weight] too far. Yes, it’s wrong. And yes, I don’t mean it. But if the simple fact that your assinine behavior and childlike mentality of hard work and gain says anything, the rage was justified. Your lack of self awareness is honestly stupefying and it makes me wonder if you ever have sacrificed anything in your life. Have you ever gone out of your way to do something greater, or do you just like this thought of being in this perpetual motion of stagnant ideology that everything will be in place if you do nothing? I just...just...don’t have a nice day, don’t collect $200 and get a real job.
    Doodletones: This may just be one of the biggest and most infuriating character assassinations of a person that I've ever seen. MatPat obviously put himself on a high pedestal talking about how much better he was than Wall Street Journal and how much he enjoys context to be there for those listening, only to go on and do the same shitty practices the Wall Street Journal was doing, taking PewDiePie out of context, misrepresenting his stances on things, and taking jokes seriously for the sake of making Pewds out to be the bad guy. And for what? Because PewDiePie made a joke he didn't like. I have seen MatPat pull things out of his ass, I've seen him be one-sided in arguments, and I've seen him rush through a lot of things and use outdated sources for his theories. But there was one thing I could never label him until now, and that is dishonest. I have an entirely different outlook on MatPat because of this and unless he makes another show that passes fiction as fact, I will not be touching this individual again.
  • In MangaKamen's commentary ✔ Need Clickbait? = ✔, after criticizing the video of a poketuber named Verlisify, where he declared a video ranking the at the time, known Pokemon in Pokémon Sun and Moon as the "Most Desperate Video On Youtube", the three commentators, MangaKamen, Doodletones, and Hobbes (or YoungBloodFantasy91), all give one to Verlisify during their final thoughts.
    Doodletones: Let me come right out and say it. Verlisify, you are a despicable, reprehensible, petulant child who can't accept the fact that maybe, just maybe, people have the fucking right to do what they want on their channels. You seem to be in the retarded six year old mindset where you look at other people's content and basically spout "nigga please, you're only doing this for the publicity" while having literally no self awareness to the fact that you go around starting shit with other people and tuck that tail between your legs and cower whenever anyone dares call you out on your disgraceful, pitiful hogwash that your viewership has literally no reason to take seriously yet somehow do enough to keep you as one of the big youtubers that do Pokemon content. I mean, fuck, I get it! The fame got to your head and your ego got so big that you needed to put it somewhere! But did you really have to shove it up your own ass?
    Hobbes: Hey guys, this is Verlisify, welcome to Poke-DramaAlert-Nation! But in all seriousness, I cannot take your video seriously. Your main thrust at this particular video was to call attention to someone you perceived had problems, and you never fully addressed what they were aside from making tangential and irrelevant observations about his midroll ads and the fact that he made a list about Top 10 Sun and Moon Pokemon. I'm not sure about your standards but at this point I feel that with this video and with other content that you released that you are grasping for the lowest common denominator to elicit reactions from everyone. It destroys your credibility because you clearly have no bar to reach and clearly have no reason to make high quality videos. What you accomplished with this video was to make a Poketuber analog of a high schooler spreading false rumors in an attempt to save face. And that's how I imagine to poketuber community to be, very divisive, very combative, and overall filled with drama and cancer. I'm sure that a lot of people are willing to make constructive content, and I'm sure that the community at times is filled with wonderful and edifying dialog, but your video Verlisify is simply bloodsport. Contributing to the drama only makes it worse but since you care moreso about yourself and absolving yourself from all blame, that's not how you see it right?
    MangaKamen: Well Verlis, this is my third video on you and what can I say about you that hasn't already been said...and isn't another potshot about how you're a furry? But in all honesty, after seeing alot of your B.S in the pokemon community and how you've reacted to criticism, I'm almost tempted to say that your maintaining popularity is the eighth wonder of the world, with your more recent videos even saying you don't want people to sub to you if they disagree with you on a single point, or how you block people on twitter if they challenge anything you say unless you know that they're big enough to cause a stir. Seriously, I'd give advice, but since I've already been blocked by you on twitter, I'm a little too salty to give two bones on whether or not you actually improve. TLDR, stop pulling this crap, it's getting boring at this point.
  • In leber's commentary The Lazy Hour, the two commentators, lebers and 8363MTR each give one to the person they're commentating on, Kyo Kun, for the quality of his video and the motive behind said video being for personal bias against one of the people Kyo is commentating on (A commentator named Doodletones)
    lebers: Wow. You suck. You really, really, suck. Look, I thought that this would just be another run of the mill bad commentary, but I was wrong. Boy was I ever wrong. You were sticking your nose in shit that you had no buisness being around, you were bringing up drama that's been dead and buried just to back up your shitty points, you were using stupid insignificant excuses on the most trivial details, you didn't know how to keep your video at a consistent volume, you forgot to put your video, in your video. Like, I thought it'd be some time before I start tackling shit like this, but you barging in to make this dumpster fire of a video just had to be in my line of sight next. This is one of the shittiest commentaries and of the shittiest presented videos I've ever seen on this entire site, and despite just being over 11 minutes, the worst commentary I've ever seen in 2016. Like, that's impressive. You didn't fuck around with making your video as bad as it could possibly be. Are you a lost cause? Well, I wouldn't say that as even some of the worst people can improve, but in your case, you're probably going to have to bank on a few miracles to earn even the most subatomic ounce of respect in this community.
    8363MTR: Ok, let me just say that you sir have made the worst commentary of 2016 in my own personal opinion. You mainly just called Doodletones out for being a hypocrite throughout the entire commentary when you've misused that word. In fact, I know that I'm going to be using the "commentators using a dictionary trope" but I really fucking need to because you goddamn people don't know what the actual definition of it is! Hypocrisy: Noun: the quality of acting in a way that goes against claimed beliefs or feelings. I don't see a "but a person is automatically wrong for making the same mistakes the other person makes and the same person calls out the other person for it" now do I?! This is essentially what I feel this entire commentary was, calling out someone that doesn't need to be called out on. This also doesn't help for the fact that you were so biased within the commentary that you've literally pointed out that you have beef with her just because of how she did a commentary on Mister Metakour, something in which case she regretted on making. You ALSO were that much of a shitty commentator because you don't even care about your editing, you alienate your audience thinking that your audience will always agree with you, and finally, you don't elaborate on fucking shit! But if you wanna play the troll card, then fine. That'll prove to me that you won't be taken seriously. Not because of the fact that you're a troll, but because of the fact that you were so much of a goddamn retard to the point that you won't even change your overall content, thus making sure that nobody aside from your circlejerk buddies will be watching and liking your content and/or people subscribing to you simply due to the fact that you are just downright cringey! Your fucking move bitch.
    lebers: ...Wow.
    8363MTR: Ok, if we ever meet again, remind me not to get myself that angry during final thoughts anymore.
    lebers: Will do captain.
  • In FyroforVictory 1247's commentary, The Bones and The Blaze where he and fellow commentator Illogical Reaper criticize a commentary made by commentator, Blaze of Arcana, who they believe only made the commentary out of spite for one of his targets (Joshua Culvyhouse), Illogical Reaper gives on to him during his final thoughts.
    Illogical Reaper: Blaze, this is one of the worst videos you ever made. This has the same goddamn problems that were seen in your commentary on Darkghostwind where all you did was demand proof like a lazy fucking asshole and act like his points were invalid until further notice. And then you took it a goddamn step further. You made mountains out of molehills for no reasons other than because you could. You sat there and acted like an ignorant jackass, and made what might be one of the worst commentaries of 2017. Also, I wanna bring up what you said about Joshua here because I feel like a lot of what you said about him can be applied right fucking back to you. You’re also a terrible commentator who makes mediocre at best commentaries and is disliked by the majority of the community. Whenever I have hopes you make something good, you end up making something mediocre. When I expect your videos to flop, you make quite a goddamn splash. You really want to be a good commentator, you need to learn how to improve for your audience and argue their points rather than act like “oh, you have no proof, therefore you’re automatically wrooongggg!” I’m not gonna say you can’t improve, but you have a looooong way to go.
  • YouTubers Akuago220 and NightBlader of Ze Pyromancers Deliver 3 of these to Dylan Guptill while they were commentating on Guptill's response to YoungBlood's commentary (Don't let that hurt your head too much). This quote on the page will be the last speech from the video. For the other two, go here (link will automatically take you to the first one).
    Akuago220: Before we close off, Night, give your final thoughts about this, and I'll follow.
    NightBlade: Guptill, did it ever come across your mind, why there are so many commentaries on you? Did it ever come across your mind, that you might be wrong? Did you THINK, for ONE second, to STOP these rants?! Nobody is going to take your advice! Because despite what you MIGHT believe, YOU'RE wrong, and you don't know what the HELL you're talking about! You know what?! I'm gonna give you some advice! Shut the FUCK up, and go back to your wretched easter egg videos, because everything you touch turns to SHIT! You CAN'T rant, you CAN'T animate, and you CAN'T repute anybody! And knowing you, you going to ignore everything I say, and keep assuming you're right, because you're so ignorant! Just listen for once, and maybe you'll learn a thing or two! Grow a pair, and take what people say like a real man, or stay in the corner, like a GODDAMN PUSSY!
    Akuago220: Now for my final thoughts. Guptill...you've done it again. *starts clapping slowly* You have shown to the digital world just how incapable you are of refuting a user, and defending your points. First you complain about the Sonic fanbase's reaction to the voice changes since 4Kids took over the voice back in 2005-2006, then about Ray William Johnson's "Doing Your Mom" song, despite you of having apparently no problems with his revised title "Stalking Your Mom", and now here we are. You try to refute YoungBlood with baseless nitpicking assumptions, and try to mask it with a false professional seeming attitude, so that you would seem more valid to those who really don't know what you've done lately, or to those who have stuck with you since your easter egg videos. Your inability to think thoroughly into the economy in general is so apparent and evidential, that you make yourself look worse when denying and overall avoiding the general refutes against you, as proven in your comments on YoungBlood's short responses, and Savage Brodcast's personal message and review. And finally, for the last time, get off your high horse, and quit acting like you're smarter than our workers today! Nobody likes an egotist on the internet!
  • Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog has Captain Hammer deliver one disguised as a Rousing Speech with the song "Everyone's A Hero". Pretty much everyone in the audience is fooled save for Penny, who openly looks shocked at the context of the song.note 
    I’m poverty’s new sheriff
    And I’m bashing in the slums
    A hero doesn’t care
    If you’re a bunch of scary alcoholic bums! Everybody!
    • Dr. Horrible delivers a subsequent one with "Slipping", calling Captain Hammer's audience out on their devotion to their hero.
    • In the movie's commentary, Commentary! The Musical, Nathan Fillion sings one about Neil Patrick Harris called "(I'm) Better Than Neil."
  • In If the Emperor Had a Text-to-Speech Device, the Emperor starts out the show giving a few of them indirectly to the Inquisition and the Imperium, and as he realizes how deep the shit his Imperium's in has become, has his entire script be a permanent scathing speech at whatever the topic may be. As for other characters, Alicia Dominica gives a rather lengthy offscreen one to Goge Vandire before decapitating him, and Kitten unleashes one whenever asked to speak about the Tau, getting even more vicious than the aforementioned Emperor.
    • In their second Podcast, The Emperor bring Uriah Olathaire (of "The Last Church" by Graham McNeill) for another debate he thought he would easily win... and then it turns out Uriah became a Chaos priest. Uriah then rips the Emperor a new asshole by tearing apart every single thing that's wrong with him and the Imperium he formed and there are a lot. It has so many truths about it that two of his Custodes, Wamuudes and Custodisi, can't help but agree with Uriah that their Emperor is a huge prick and Chaos cults start popping up faster than they could be squelched due to his words.
  • The Spoony One did one for both Final Fantasy VIII and its fans.
    • He also did another for the people who didn't like Mass Effect 3's ending.
  • In an Over The Gun Let's Play of Braid where he gives one to himself after losing a (rewind-immune) key to a Mook.
    It's only me that could manage to do that! Oh, he's such a ! I- I want me key off you, mate, but... but I dunno how I'm gonna do it, though! It's okay me saying I want it back off ya, but you've got my number, haven't you? That's not good news. That's a Goomba with a look on his face, as if to say "I am protected by these weird mechanics. I am gonna jump off your head. Not only that - I have got your key." He looks quite, quite serious... he doesn't look phased by the fact I'm stood underneath him; he's gonna stomp my face through. This is the first time in twenty one years of gaming that I have been bested by a Goomba.
  • 4chan has this to say to the furry community.
  • The Irate Gamer ended up spawning many of these directed against him, most notably Linkara and the now-defunct Armake21.
  • In I'm a Marvel... and I'm a DC, The Joker delivers one of these to Darkseid after his explanation of Stan's Place is rejected due to Darkseid having "no interest in the world of fiction."
    The Joker: You don't know... (Begins to laugh hysterically)
    Darkseid: What? Another Earth joke?
    The Joker: The biggest one ever! The mother of all jokes! And the best part is, you're the butt of it! Oh, I hate to break it to ya, pallie, but I'm afraid the only reality you know is the world of fiction!
    Darkseid: Ah, so it's madness. Not an uncommon reaction to one's impending doom. Still-
    The Joker: Oh, I was mad long before you came along, oh Lord of Pain and Suffering and... Blue Shorts. And even I have a better grip on reality than you. Those other realities that Stan's Place links to? They're all comic book universes- just like this one! All the heroes meet up at that bar so they can shoot the breeze about who's getting a movie next. And no wonder you're so interested in Stan- he's the one person there who's not a comic book character. If there's anyone dominating reality, its him, not you. In fact, what was it you said about comic books before? Ah yes, they're "insignificant endeavours in entertainment on a pathetic planet"- of which YOU are one! (Laughs hysterically before Darkseid vapourises him.)
    Darkseid: [White hot fury] That's. Not. Funny.
    • In the first season of "After Hours," Lex Luthor gave one to Superman in an attempt to recruit him in joining him in his plan to retgone the Marvel Universe:
      Lex Luthor: The Marvel Universe has corrupted everything you stand for all in the name of high drama. Think about it Kal-El. Your job is to be an inspiration for people, someone they can look up to, someone they can aspire to be like; in steadfastness, in character, in ideals. And what did Marvel offer? They said don’t worry; you don’t have to aspire to anyone in our books. You just have to relate to them. And now we have an entire culture that thinks that who they are is just fine and how dare anyone suggest they can improve themselves? Why aspire to be Superman when it’s so much easier to relate to Spider-Man? No one wants to look up to you anymore, Superman. They don’t want to strain their necks. Instead they look straight ahead at the compromised heroes in front of them and say "That’ll do just fine".
  • Dr. Loomis (or rather, Michael's subconscious using Loomis' voice) gives one to Michael in the Halloween fan film, The Last Halloween. Michael doesn't take it well.
  • The Nostalgia Critic already has great disdain for Michael Bay, but he really gives it to the Bay for his tasteless and shameful depiction of Pearl Harbor.
    You know...dick. Cause that's what you are, a fucking dick. When you show this image of the American flag destroyed, you're not just showing your dollar store symbolism that says "ooh, America's hurt." But, it's very clear that what is important to you is not how you view America. What is important to you is how others see you viewing America. So, you can make up whatever you want. You can fabricate things, you can lie about history. You can exaggerate, you can glorify, you can demonize, you can distort the facts. You can make up the truth. Make up the truth about people who lost their lives in this great tragedy. Why? Because you're doing it in the name that you fucking love America. I'm sorry! I-I-I don't fuck around with this shit! I don't, okay? These are people who lost their lives, people who have been drafted, people who volunteered, people putting their asses on the line, and many of them don't come back! You're taking it upon yourself to show that! And, I-I know what you're thinking, yeah, you're thinking, "Well, I'll just make up people because they weren't really there so I can do whatever I want with them, I can make shit up." And granted, you don't deserve the responsibility to show real events. You don't live in the real world! But what happens is that when you take it and base it on a real event, you have to show these real people. You have to get it right, Michael Bay! You have to get it right! Because this isn't Transformers, okay? That's kid's shit, you can do whatever you want. It's not The Rock! It's not Sean Connery saying "winners fuck the prom queen!" No, it's fucking Pearl Harbor! Reality! It actually happened! And I know you're thinking, "Well it's Hollywood, we take liberties." Fuck you, it's not Hollywood! When you take it upon yourself to represent something that really happened and is still painful, and hurts a lot of people, that means you have to do two things. One, you have to grow up and be an adult! Two, you have to actually represent these people as best as humanly possible, YOU SON OF A BIIIIIIIIITCH!!!!
    • His Top 11 dumbasses in distress video counts too. Especially in his rant towards Bella from Twilight, who he hates more than Jar Jar Binks.
    • He gives another one to TMZ and another to everyone who has ever watched it in his Top 11 South Park Episodes.
    • In his review of Patch Adams, the critic was not pleased when he finds out that the movie completely altered the facts about one of Adams' friends.
    NC: "Okay, all bets are off. If this movie can't even represent a dead person by getting his gender right, not making up a false romance, and a child molesting story, all of it fabricated, I'm sorry. I've worked my way up to this joke. Remember that scene I brought up earlier?
    Adams: "What if a doctor becomes emotionally involved with a patient? What's wrong with that? Does the doctor explode?"
    NC: "Well, if you count bullets blowing up the head of your fictional dead girlfriend, yes. Yes, they fucking do! I mean, I know a person really was murdered in real life, but it wasn't the same way, it wasn't the same time, and it wasn't even the same gender as they're saying here. And what is so strange about this is that it totally proves why the method they're so poorly trying to convey to us wouldn't work. People do make bad choices when they're emotional and bad things do happen. Again, the real teachings of the real Hunter Adams are much smarter than this, and by trying to simplify it to such a disgusting fictionalized degree is absolutely horrible. Let me tell you something movie. Maybe you should've been "emotionally invested" when you were representing the life of a man, his theories, his friends, his real life practices, and his actual hard work. FUCK. YOOOOOOOUUUU.
    NC: Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you? Do you honestly think these actions are gonna win me over?
    HFG: I ju—I di—
    NC: No, no, no, no, no, no, no! You break into my home, you kidnap me, you stalk me, I've had it up to fucking Jupiter with you!
    HFG: I was just trying to get you back into the Christmas spirit by making you like Christmas Story again.
    NC: I love Christmas! I love Christmas Story! (HFG feels relieved) It's you I can't stand! I mean, I swear, my life would be so much happier if you would just disappear from it!
    HFG: (slyly smiling and in a confident tone) Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What are you trying to say here?
    (NC reaches his Rage Breaking Point)
    NC: I HATE YOU! I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU! If there was a likability scale from 1 to 10, you would be negative Pi! You're outlawed in 28 states just so that people don't have to talk to you again! If they were to make a cologne out of you it would be called Essence of Annoying! if cancer got cancer, you would be the one they would name it after! Knock knock!
    HFG: Who's there?
    NC: Nobody! Because nobody would ever want to see you! When people ask monks what the meaning of life they say, "Stay away from your dumb ass!" You're Beethoven's Lost Symphony, Death to Joy! Would everyone in an orange sweater, glasses, brown hair and a likable personality please raise your hand?
    HFG: (raises hand)
    NC: You're too stupid to even get that joke! On the evolutionary scale, you're the only one that's walking backwards! You're the Surgeon General's warning on a pack of cigarettes! (puts on cheerleading outfit) Give me an I! Give me an H! Give me an A-T-E-YOU! (is back in his regular uniform) I HATE YOU!!!
    HFG: ...Okay Critic, if that's how you feel...
    NC: Wait, w-what are you doing?
    HFG: I-I'm just gonna go then. (walks away to grab her coat)
    NC: *stuttering* You can't do that! That's- that's cheating...
    (HFG puts on her coat and begins to leave, to NC's shock and confusion)
    NC: This wasn't how it played out in my head...
    • He gives a brutal one to Meninists in his review of Mad Max: Fury Road through his character Devil Boner, who has had to listen to their complaining for most of the video.
    Meninists: You ain't no man!
    Devil Boner: And YOU are?! Christ, if you're the future of what being a man is, slap a fucking vagina on me! I'd much rather be a badass like her [Furiosa] than whiny little bitches like you! Hey, here's a thought: If you have to complain about how someone's stealing your manhood, chances are you never had your manhood to begin with! What are you, five? You afraid you're gonna get cooties?! And how's that working out for you, anyway? Are women just falling at your feet because you bitch and complain about them online? Real chick magnet, guys. You must get laid a LOT! You know what? Keep living in your momma's basements because the grown-ups are gonna make a more badass world and we don't need your crybaby tears messing it up!
    Lex: Oh, you figured out that Lex Luthor was the bad guy, huh? Real brainscratcher there. Nobody else would've figured that one out. You really solidified yourself as a necessity there. You know what I was doing while you were figuring out that incredible info? Figured out who Superman was, figured out who Batman was, and I planned two kidnappings to take place on the night that he was planning to finish him off. (He looks behind him and the Bat Signal comes on) See? See? There you go. And you know what the best part is? I did all of that offscreen! So even I don't know how I did all this impossible shit!
    Lois: Um...
    Lex: (While putting on a jacket) Phew, is it chilly up here or is that just the cold uselessness of your character?
    Lois: Hey! I'm really important!
    Lex: Oh, yeah, sure. Let's get to the one thing that we know you're good at. (Pushes Lois Lane off the building for Superman to come save her)
    • In the Suicide Squad review, the Critic/Rick Flag gives one to Amanda Waller for not only causing all the films problems and getting countless people killed because of her own poor planning, but actually having the gall to claim her plan is working and acting like everything's under-control, when it's clear she's completely lost control of a Physical God and everything's going to hell.
    • In Kickassia, The Nostalgia Critic receives one from dream!Ma-Ti. He gets told such pearls of wisdom as:
    "Stop being a douchebag! It's totally going to backfire!"
    "Are you willing to let down the people that got you here? Your friends? Your allies!"
    "You're a fool, Critic! A damn fool! You cannot change your destiny! You can only choose to meet it!...and you will fail."
    • In his review of The Cat in the Hat, after Soulless (who basically is the embodiment of everything wrong with the Dr. Seuss movies) tries to defend changing the source material as making the product even better and calls Dr. Seuss' books "simple kids books", the Critic delivers one on him:
    NC: No, every single thing you said, you got backwards! By having grown-up humor you make it more childish, by modernizing the dialogue you make it more dated, and by changing the source material you show how much you don't respect what's already perfect. I'm not gonna act like everything Seuss wrote was a masterpiece, but when he got it right, he get it right. They don't need to be updated, they don't need to be fixed, they don't even really need to have movies made about them. But if you're going to do it, the very least you can do is understand the source material!
    Soulless: Well of course I understand the source material! They're just simple kids books!
    NC: (gets up from the couch) No. They're not just simple kids books. They're stories that we are continuing to read even today. They're stories that we remember years later, even when others fade from our memory. They're stories we will never forget — and for good reason! They're stories that helped shape our childhoods, through well thought-out writing, imaginative drawings and endearing morals. And the idea of this...shaping somebody's childhood, the fact that it even has the same name...just makes me sick to my stomach! Maybe these "simple kids books" are far more adult than you give them credit for. And I guarantee that'll show, when years later, both children and adults will still be reading these "simple kids books", while pandering bullshit like this disappears out of people's consciousness, also for good reason! Good art doesn't come from focus groups and statistics. It comes from people who share how they see things in their own unique way.
  • The admin of a (OOC) Sonic the Hedgehog Facebook page absolutely tears into the raw hide of the "Pokemon Shifter Mismagius" page after being banned: link
  • In Egoraptor's Sequelitis on A Link to the Past vs. Ocarina of Time he does a seething rant against The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword, portrayed as a talking game box.
    Egoraptor: "There is no mystery in modern Zelda games."
    Skyward Sword: "Hey man, I'm mysterious!"
    Egoraptor: (whistles like a kettle) "God, shut up!! Seriously! You want all this attention like you care, like you really gave it your all, in a new innovative Zelda experience, but instead you lead Zelda into a frustrating monotony! Y'know, what started the franchise was, like, this sense of wonder, and what has thus far concluded the franchise as a sense of formality; a predictable, time-consuming mess that asks you not of your sense of adventure or even your wits, but instead your ability to listen and follow directions. You ask of us our ability to point something at something else and then walk towards it. You ask of us our willingness to get another bow and arrow, fight another boss with another giant glowing eyeball. Gee! I wonder how to fucking beat it! I fucking WONDER, Skyward Sword!! You ask of us to get a cat from the top of a roof and carry him over to some guy who says 'Thank you'. The Adventures of Link: Cat Delivery Man! Is that your title?! What's the tagline in the ads?!; 'Cat's outta the bag! And onto the roof!' - Ten outta ten! No Wiimote Motion issues here that could possibly cripple the entire experience! Best in the series! You're like a spoiled rich kid, who gets everything bought for you your entire life, and then when it comes to making it on your own, you can't take it! You expect everyone to love you, because you are who you are, part of the illustrious Zelda lineage. Nothing could possibly be wrong with you!! You look just like a Zelda! But you're not one. You're a pampered, doughy snob wearing nice clothes, expecting to gradutate scot free, because your daddy's an alum. Why would you need to improve? Why would you need to get any better? Everyone just agrees with your shitty ideas, because you're a Zelda! Fuck You, Skyward Sword! FUCK YOU!!!"
    Skyward Sword: (sobs loudly) OH MY GOD!!
  • Arby 'n' the Chief became very fond of throwing these around around the start of Season 5. So much so that it would require it's own page just to do so. Arbiter, Chief, and the villains would mostly dish them out to one another.
    Arbiter: "...You've always been an utter , but there was a time when it was at least somewhat charming. You didn't know any better. It was innocent. But now it's like you're self-aware to some degree. Instead of shouting outrageous things in sheer ignoreance it's like you're genuinely out to antagonize and hurt people. It's not funny anymore...
    Master Chief: "wat, u think ur n e funs 2 lived w/? ...when ur not paraeding around h33r pretending 2 sound samrt ur sitting arond all :( drinking all teh bewze whining liek a little about hao much dick ur lief sux..."
  • The Webshow TV Trash features a series of episodes where Chris "Rowdy C" Moore watches three of the most controversial Family Guy episodes ever. After sitting through "Not All Dogs Go to Heaven" (arguably the most despised episode among Tropers), Rowdy concludes "Family Guy Month" by "talking" to Seth MacFarlane in a parody of Quagmire telling off Brian in "Jerome is the New Black".
    And so, after a full month of pointing out some of the worst "Family Guy" has churned out, what else is there to say? (shows a picture of Seth MacFarlane; cuts back to Rowdy) Fine, I'll tell you. You have become one of the worst examples of comedy out there. You've not only made all your characters as unlikable as possible, but you do nothing but pile on insult after insult of anyone out there that's more famous than you, and rail against nearly every TV show that paved the way for yours, giving hardly any evidence other than "Trust me, it sucks." Yeah, I insult TV shows, but I try to back it up with logic. I also give examples of good stuff that hopefully show I'm not just some bitter jealous comedian who goes around hating everything that comes out of Hollywood like you. I don't go around claiming that dead children's entertainers hate all Jews with no proof. What if I were to suggest that you're just bitter at Disney because they poached your best director? God, you're a hypocrite! You know, I can respect you for going after Fox News, but saying it's okay for the Left to be a bunch of liars and frauds because they're your people doesn't work. Oh, and you had to go off on big businesses taking away jobs, but you go and snatch up almost every piece of Fox's Sunday night lineup once another show gets dropped. And then there's the little fact that your animation is made in KOREA. You want to help American jobs? HAVE YOUR DAMN SHOW DRAWN IN THIS COUNTRY!! And by the way, insulting Southerners doesn't make you better than them. What happened to you claiming they were good at heart in "To Love and Die in Dixie"? Oh, right, that was during the time when network executives could put you in your place! But I could forgive all of that if you just weren't so unfunny. That's what you are—a bitter, preachy, unfunny ASSHOLE!!"
    • He slams one down to the Saban executives in his review of Ninja Turtles: The Next Mutation, after watching how badly they messed up the crossover between the Turtles and Power Rangers in Space. After watching the teams fight each other, he excuses himself to go into the bathroom, leading to this.
      (Screaming at the top of his lungs) "You Saban S.O.Bs! I watched Power Rangers for four years, and you repay me by crapping over my generation's superheroes? You want to know why so many Turtles fans hate Power Rangers? That's why, you S.O.Bs! YOU CAN ALL BURN IN HELL!!!!!! (Exits bathroom, and goes back to his studio.) So yeah. I'm not thrilled."
    • He completely eviscerates Lois in his review of the Malcolm in the Middle Series Finale when Lois reveals her plans for Malcolm and how he "doesn't get the easy way." It's so bad that he takes off his glasses all while remaining eerily calm.
    Chris: Lois, I have seen Lucy Van Pelt. I have seen Gary The Rat. I have seen Allen Gregory. I have seen the entire cast of Brickleberry. And after that little speech of yours, the only thing I can think of right now is that every single one of those characters is an absolute SAINT compared to you, YOU CONNIVING, SELFISH, BACKSTABBING, MANIPULATIVE, PURE EVIL MOTHER-! (Curse Cut Short by clip from The Simpsons)
    Ned Flanders: Dear lord, that's the loudest profanity I've ever heard!
    Chris: ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY KIDDING ME?! I have heard the joke in other sitcoms that parents really don't want to see their kids have it better than them, but this is just beyond all comprehension! What this basically means is that Lois has set up Malcolm from pretty much the beginning of this series, ever since she was told by that guidance that he was a prodigy, to be purposefully miserable! She has intentionally set up his life to be as horrible as possible because she thinks it will somehow make him a better man!? I could post every clip possible of Dr. Cox, Grumpy Cat, and every internet critic out there...AND THAT STILL WOULDN'T BE ENOUGH TO SHOW OFF HOW PISSED OFF THIS MAKES ME! And yes, I am throwing her and her alone under this bus because, yeah, Hal knew about the plan, but he's so much of a spineless coward that you know he had no input or any chance of actually stopping it! This would be like if LeBron James' parents told him that not only could he not go to the NBA right out of high school, but he couldn't play professional basketball AT ALL because they had so-called better plans for him and felt that he needs to suffer! What the hell kind of sanctimonious garbage is that!? If this was about him having some pipe dream about becoming the next Steve Jobs and you trying to show reason about how unlikely the odds are of that happening, that's one thing! But he got that opportunity, and when you get such an opportunity, you take it! But instead, you squashed it right in front of him because somehow you think that, even after him becoming an adult and graduating school, you still get to control his life! Did you ever stop to think that maybe Malcolm getting that job could be the path towards you getting out of your own crappy lifestyle? That maybe if you were more supportive, he might have a had a extra room for you in his mansion? Malcolm should have been an example to you that you can overcome this system that you claim has screwed you people over if you do your hardest to maximize your talents! But you don't want to see that happen, because it would leave you with no one to blame for your own life but yourself! No, I don't buy for one second that you're doing what's best for him! This is about you hating your life, and thinking that if you're not happy, NO ONE AROUND YOU GETS TO BE HAPPY! This may now be the most morally deficient character I have ever seen! Sarah Palin has no brain, Pat Robertson has no soul, Kim Jong Un has no dick, and Malcolm's mother has no heart, brains, or human decency! I have seen SUPERVILLAINS WITH MORE MORAL STATUTES THAN YOU!
  • On the American Idol forum idolforums a poster laid into an overzealous fan who attacked one of the other contestants
    I agree people have the right to express their opinions, but I have the exact same right. The irony is I actually like both Jessica and Hollie, I may have defended Hollie more lately because of my perception she's being kicked while she's down. I'm sure this is something you can now relate to after Thursday. Quite honestly I should see this as flattering because you and others must have much more faith in her making a come back than I do. I hope IDF represents only a really small percentage of the Idolverse's perceptions, because you're not doing yourself any favors, when Hollie finally does leave her votes are gonna go somewhere and perhaps not where you'd like. But somethings never change and you guys can do what you like and I'll respond when I feel the need
  • Near the end of Red vs. Blue: Revelation, Tex delivers a short one to Church after she shoots him to their location to Washington and the Meta:
    Tex: I didn't ask to be paired with you. I didn't want to come back. But I'm here now, so I'm gonna put an end to this.
    Church: Tex, I would have helped you.
    Tex: You can't even help yourself. That's why you made me, Church. You made me to take on all the things you can't handle. Just like you always have. Well guess what, I'm gonna handle it.
    • Church himself delivers a big one to the other members of the Blood Gulch Crew, after they refuse to help him and Carolina take down the Director.
    Church: So that's it? You're just going to turn your back on us?
    Washington: Epsilon, I know that it-
    Church: No, you're right. I guess I should have seen that one coming. It's not exactly like you're new to the concept, is it?
    Sarge: That's a little harsh.
    Church: But you guys, after all the shit you've put me through, I really thought at least you would have my back.
    Grif: Us? What the hell did we do?
    Church: You shot me through the head, you put a bomb in my gut, you killed me with my own damn tank, and that's just how we met!
    Tucker: Church, calm down! What's your problem?
    Church: You're my problem! You've always been my problem! Each and every one one of you is just a problem that I have to deal with on a daily basis!
    • Later Sarge combines one with an inspiring piece to Washington when convincing him to help them go back to help Carolina and Church.
    Sarge: You know, there's one thing you Freelancers always seem to forget. And that's the fact that we've managed to kick your ass time and time again. Oh sure, you've got all your smart plans, and your fancy technology, and your advanced training, but, in the end, what has that gotcha? Without a team you can count on and your fellow soldier by your side, all that doesn't really amount to squat, now does it? So instead of standing there bellyaching all day, just tell us, are you gonna keep playing it safe...
    Sarge: or do you wanna get a little reckless?
    • The finale for Season 10 sees Church deliver another large one to the Director, calling him out on everything he's done:
    Church: No! You've had your fucking time. You have to answer for what you did. To the Meta, to Washington, to Carolina, to me and to her! To Texas!
    Director: Hello, Epsilon. You came all this way just to see me?
    Church: I'm here to remember what you've done. Somebody has to!
    Carolina: Church...
    Church: Not all of us got off scott-free, Carolina.
    (Church begins to change into the different AI fragments)
    Delta!Church: He was brilliant...
    Theta!Church: ...and we trusted him!
    Gamma!Church: But he lied to us. He twisted...
    Omega!Church: ...and tortured us, and used us!
    Sigma!Church: Manipulated us for his own purposes, and for what? For this? This...shadow?!
    [...]
    Church: I don't know what I am, but I do know this — I'm more than just a copy of you. I'm better than you.
    • Near the end of Season 12, Washington delivers one to Locus that not only deconstructs Locus' Consummate Professional image, but pisses off Locus enough that he abandons his discreet tactics and straight-up tackles him.
    Locus: I'm a professional, Agent Washington. I complete my-
    Washington: Yeah, yeah, yeah, you complete your missions at all cost. You can say that as many times as you want, but I know what you really are. You're a coward.
    Locus: Ridiculous.
    Washington: You keep trying to play yourself off as some sort of weapon. That you don't care about anyone or anything. But the fact that you're trying so hard to understand me breaks your entire act! No matter how hard you may want to be, you're not a machine, you're a murderer. But you hide behind the idea in your head, because you're too afraid to take responsibility for what you've done. I know I used to be a real piece of shit, but at least I'm trying to do something about it.
  • In the online horror series Marble Hornets, the protagonist—Jay—documents his entire life as it spins out of control through the influence of the Slender Man. This is all well and good, except for the fact that everyone Jay seems to film on his quest for answers ends up having something horrible happen to them. In the end, one of these people, Tim, a mentally unbalanced man whose life has been hell for years as he battled split personalities can take it no longer, accusing Jay of ruining his life just as he was finally starting to recover with therapy and medication. Finally, Tim accuses Jay of not having any plan besides "film everything, find answers and then see what happens." It's a truly brutal speech, and the worst part is that he's absolutely right.
  • Internet comedian MK hands these out like candy on his "MK Loves" series of videos, but the two most savage (and sincere) are directed toward Lil Wayne, for being more concerned about his image and exposure than the quality of his music, and to fans of Hip-Hop in general for the genre's current state.
    MK: Everybody likes to place blame on who's responsible for the deterioration of hip-hop. "Oh, it's Lil Wayne! Oh, it's Soulja Boy! Oh, it's Waka Flocka! No, these people were the nurse who contributed to hip-hop becoming fucking retarded. Who originally put hip-hop into a coma? You did. The consumer. You ALLOWED hip-hop to become what it is by just accepting the shit music your favorite artists were putting out! You never said, "Well, this isn't anything like you, 50 Cent, or Lil Wayne or Kanye West! I'm not going to support these moves you're making!" Instead, you said, "Aw, he gots ANOTHER album coming out talking about poppin bottles in a club? I'ma cop that shit!" And because these talented rappers started turning out untalented albums, untalented rappers came along and started turning out complete shit. Stop blaming them, blame yourselves. You let Hollywood tell you what was good and you didn't question it. If you want things to change, support talented artists. Simple.
  • In the web-exclusive BIONICLE story The Kingdom, Alternate Universe Matoro gives one to Alternate Makuta, after the latter consumed him but failed to suppress his mind.
    Alternate Matoro: No, Makuta. You once told the Toa Mata that you could not be destroyed, because you were nothing. You were wrong – it is because you are nothing that I can destroy you. You have no heart, you have no spirit, you have no reason to exist – even your hate is a pale reflection of what once burned in you. You survive out of habit, monster, and habits ... and minds ... can be broken.
    • The speech gave Matoro enough strength and weakened Makuta so much that his mind actually succeeded in killing both of them.
  • NickonAquaMagna2 is known to review Sonic's biggest titles. After Game Informer gave out its controversial review on Sonic Generations, he gives out a lengthy speech to them, that can possibly rival Quagmire's speech against Brian, or even top it, in his review of the same game:
    NickonAquaMagna2: What pisses me off most, concerning the levels chosen to be featured in this game, is when people bitch and moan about the later stages, most notably, Crisis City of Sonic '06. "Wah wah wah, this represents a bad time for Sonic! They give us bad memories way back when, it's bad that this game is forcing those bad memories to come up again! They're a constant reminder of how far Sonic has fallen in recent years, and it's impossible to have fun in these places because of what they stand for!" Get over yourselves, guys. This is about Sonic's history. Granted, they can't carve a level from every Sonic game ever made in there, but they have to include those from his bigger titles, regardless of how hated some of them can be. It's silly to expect them to brush aside certain games just like that. This isn't "The History of Sonic, minus this game or that game 'cause nobody liked it." That said, while I do despise '06, it hasn't left nearly as big a scar or deep a wound on me as it has on most others. So maybe I don't understand the depths of their pain. But I actually loved Crisis City in Sonic Generations. Judging it by the same standards I used to judge any other stage in this game, is no worse than any of them. It's a solid stage. I haven't even encountered glitches here. Plus, it's just awesomely surreal to see cutesy little Classic Sonic running around in this apocalypse. Would you be more comfortable in this stage if all the textures and visuals were changed so it looked more like Green Hill Zone? I honestly think that Crisis City, in both acts, is much better stage than Green Hill Zone is in this game because of the gameplay. I know this is supposed to rekindle fond memories of Sonic's past, so in some way, simply acknowledging this time in his history does kinda defeat that. But they did their best to remake it for the better, like everything else in this game, and I think they did a commendable job. And hey, while I can't stand the Daytime stages, I still really like the new Rooftop Run. I know it's not quite the same, but still. If this was about Crisis City's mere existence not making sense, due to it being wiped clean from the canon alongside the rest of '06, that I understand. But, having a grudge with it? Come on, that's just stupid. My point is, those of you at Game Informer, and anyone else who can't stand the later levels are just biased. Letting the simple inclusion of this stage, and those that follow it ruin the experience due to "bad memories," is being totally unprofessional, and you should be ridiculed and feel bad for being so petty, and yes, I am actively making a point to be particularly bitter here, to take a spiteful jab at you guys. But I'm just making a point. If you can't get over Sonic '06 after so many years, shame on you. And to think, people call me biased.
  • TJ Omega gave a forty minute long one to the staff of Shadocon 2012 staff for their gross incompetence (sadly, it's no longer up). Crosses over with Real Life as TJ's anger was completely genuine. In particular, he called them out for treating their performers like dirt and the blatantly dangerous working conditions they put them through.
  • The CWCki is an entire The Reason You Suck Website dedicated to Christian Weston Chandler, creator of the infamous Sonichu webcomic. It includes multiple speeches wherein Chris has been repeatedly told by multiple parties just why he sucks so much. It got so bad that, eventually, there was a backlash against people taking it too far, and reminding people that, in the end, Chris is not Hitler, and making poor-quality Sonic the Hedgehog/Pikachu comics, or being easily angered, gullible, and over-obsessed with finding a girlfriend, makes him just a jackass and an easy target, not evil. The only crime is doing stupid things on the internet, and thus, being mocked on the internet is the only just punishment.
  • After going through much Break the Cutie, Donnie from Demo Reel called out the family holding him hostage for obsessing something over painful from the past and making it their lives. It's clear on a meta level that he's shouting at The Nostalgia Critic too.
  • In the YouTuber TheOrangeInsanity's review of The Cat in the Hat, after much Sanity Slippage and several attempts to understand what kind of person would make a film like that, he delivers a surprisingly calm speech, describing the makers of the movie.
    TheOrangeInsanity: (laughs maniacally) "I have figured it out! I have figured out what you are... You are a leech. A blood-sucking parasite, clinging at the vein of something far greater and more worthy of praise than you have ever imagined. And just like the sponge you are, all you do is take and take, without giving anything of beauty or value in return. All you intend to do is devour. And what is it you crave? It's so simple. Money. All you want is money. You have followed every single tired trope, every insipid idea— the sole reason why you made a movie based on The Cat in the Hat is so you could hit the lowest common denominator... so you could rake in more green. There is no art in this. No beauty. No value. There is just nothing worth experiencing. And, y'know, judging by the fact that you put 109 million dollars into this, that could easily have gone to a more worthy cause, this is the only conclusion I can come to. And I'm not wrong... am I?"
  • Cinematic Excrement contains one particular blistering rant towards two certain characters in Breaking Dawn. For context: Jacob has invited Charlie to come see his daughter, Bella, who has recently been turned into a vampire. Edward is, of course, outraged, and starts laying into Jacob, asking him if he even considered the physical pain being in Charlie's presence will put Bella through, since being in a human's presence will only increase her vampiric thirst - like having 'a red hot poker shoved down her throat', in Edward's words. In any other setting with any other characters, we might justnote  possibly note  be on Bella and Edward's side. Here?
    Oh...oh, you glittery douche nozzle!!! 'The physical pain you'll put Bella through?' Fuck Bella! What about Charlie? what about the pain you're gonna put him through? The pain he's already been through? Did you ever think of that, you diseased heap of rat rectum??? This man has loved and cared for his daughter ever since she arrived in Forks; sure, he's not a perfect father - I don't think there is such a thing - but given the circumstances, I'd say he's done a damn good job. Not once have I doubted that he truly loves Bella and would do anything for her. And in exchange for his love, Bella has done nothing but treat him like absolute shit. Remember the time she up and left him with little warning in the first movie? Or the time she up and left him with no warning in the second? And now, after the last few weeks of putting the poor bastard through hell, while he worried about his daughter's health and well being: "Sorry Charlie, your daughter has died at the ripe old age of eighteen and you will never see her again." Imagine what that's going to do to the poor man?!?! And not just him; what about Bella's mother? And her stepfather? And her friends? You think they may just be a bit broken up by her passing?

    But no. They're apparently not the ones we should be concerned with. We should only be concerned with Bella. We should care about Bella's pain. Because that's pretty much been the theme for this entire "saga", hasn't it? It's all about what Bella wants, it's all about what Bella thinks, Bella Bella Bella... Bella can kiss my hairy white ass! After four movies unchange of this self-absorbed twat-waffle, constantly looking out for herself and screw anyone else, whining and bitching and moaning until she gets her way - and she always gets her way, because oh, god forbid the heroine should ever not get exactly what she wants without consequence, no, can't have that - after all of this, you, sir, have the balls, the BALLS, to suggest we should consider Bella's pain?

    You know what? Let me show you something. Take a look at this. [Shows his empty hands]... What you see, right here, in my hands, are all the fucks I give about "Bella's pain"! After everything she's done in this series, maybe that bitch could use a hot branding iron down the throat; I'll shove it down there myself if you let me! Fuck Bella, fuck her self-serving attitude, fuck everything she stands for, Team Mustache Dad for LIFE.

    ...I think I almost burst a blood vessel.
  • YouTube User TheArchfiend is best known for either calling out or giving one of these speeches to "YouTube Whores." note  He gives iJustine note  a brutal one after the latter released a video about how she unintentionally got a little girl's video trolled off the internet:
    You don't understand iWhore why people would hate anything you promote? Here's a little clue since you're so ditzy that you can't understand this: You attract assholes on this website. You always will. You've been attracting them since Day 1 when you showed us your little 10ft thick iWhore iPhone bill. You've been attracting them since Day 1, iWhore. Anything you promote is gonna get that hate. And she's all stunned like "I can't believe people hated on her! Why can't they just love her, like they love me?" Here's a newsflash: People don't love you. You have a minion of fans that like you, but you have managed to alienate yourself against so many people on this website. You can call it jealousy or whatever, bottom line is: People. Don't. Like you. People don't like when you create some channel called "iWhore Gaming," and you're all like "Oh today I'm gonna play like Portal 2 and this is my walkthrough! Um, I dunno what's this button do? Uh, I dunno whats this button do? Ahaha! Look at this, I hit a wall, isn't that funny?" No, it's stupid! And every single person in the video gaming community hates you! They don't like you! Your walkthroughs are shit! And that's why they're getting thumbs down out the ass and that is why you're getting negative comments out the ass! Do you think when you promote something that everyone's going to be like "Oh this is sweet! A little girl pushing on a hamster on a skateboard! That's funny and silly!" No! People are going to take that opportunity to basically spew out the hate that you helped garner here on You Tube, that you help bring out in people, and they're gonna throw it up on anything you touch! And apparently you'll never realize that iWhore because you made that video yesterday, "Oh everyone go to this girl's channel and show her some love! People are being mean to her!" Screw you you ditzy blonde! You are the reason why the phrase "ditzy blonde" exists! And yeah I know you're gonna come like, you're gonna go "Oh well haters are gonna hate!" Oh by the way, I got a call earlier today. It was from the year 2002. They wanted their cliche catchphrase back. "Haters gonna hate?" Is that the best you can say, iWhore? You damn right haters are gonna hate and they're gonna hate you! And apparently you're not used to it and don't understand why it is the way it is. Here's a newsflash: It's the internet. People are assholes on the internet. People are more of an asshole when all they can do is talk behind their little keyboard or their little computer or their little iWhore iMac.
  • Played for Laughs in episode 11 of The Most Popular Girls in School, when, after Deandra gets her arms ripped off, Trisha lays into Ashley Katchadorian because she was not watching the door.
    Trisha: Do you know what these are, Ashley Katchadorian? These are a little girl’s arms. A little girl with dreams, with legs, with a head. She’s a pencil. She’s a swizzle stick. You could use her as a pool noodle and now I’m holding up her arms. Arms. I’m holding them because you weren’t watching the door.
    Ashley: I was at Pearl Harbor.
    Trisha: A girl lost her arms, Ashley Katchadorian. A girl lost her fucking arms. Do you not know what has transpired while you were at Pearl Harbor seeing the fucking Japanese museum? We had our own Pearl Harbor today. Oh my God! How could you do this to us? You literally bombed us. Like the Japanese you are. And me? I’m Ben Affleck. I’m Ben Affleck and I’m holding up two fucking girl's arms. And you? You’re Cuba Gooding Jr. disappointing everybody. Live with that!
  • In Worm, Eidolon's Evil Clone gives one to the entire Protectorate, running down why everything they thought they knew was a lie, how they had been manipulated in being complicit to crimes against humanity, and finishes with this:
    It’s all been a ploy from the start. Every single one of you were deceived. For every one of you that bought your powers, there were innocents who died or became monsters for the sake of that formula’s research. No matter what good you might do, it will never make up for that. And the rest of you? Conned, brought in with promises of ideals and saving the world. You’re fools.
  • Redditor veerserif gave a scathing one to The Amazing Atheist for his controversial rape remarks.
    veerisf: "I now know that, apart from being misguided, intentionally ignorant, and quick to resort to pathetic excuses, you are also a purposefully hurtful person with no sense of empathy, and no sense of remorse. You’re not just unintentionally uninformed, you actively turn what you know against people who should be deserving of your sympathy."

    "I was mistaken before. I thought, maybe, just maybe, after the circlejerking and the giggling, I could try showing you the stuff you said I didn’t highlight. I could show you what feminism has done for men, or maybe tell you about the existence of sex-positive feminism."

    "But this… this is a whole new level."

    "Your reputation, in my eyes, has fallen so far that dragging it back up to “mild disgust” would require nothing short of a miracle. You pretend to care about other people, but you really don’t. You like to think that you’re a decent human being, but you fall so far short of that you’re practically on separate planes of existence."

    "Deliberately triggering a rape victim? Equating being called out on your to the trauma of rape?"

    "You know what you deserve? You don’t deserve death. You don’t deserve rape. You don’t even deserve some cosmically mandated, hilarious schadenfreude which would not only be brilliant, but just."

    "What you deserve is for everyone to know this side of you. You deserve for anyone who thought you were a good person to know what you’ve just done. You deserve your fans’ adoration turning to hatred, you deserve the judging stares and looks that people will give you. You deserve to be reminded, every day, of what you do and what you’ve done. You deserve to remember every day that there are people who suffer more than you, that there are people who are stronger and smarter, braver, more principled and better than you, in every way, until the day you realise exactly how wrong your actions have been."

    "I don’t want to see bodily harm visited on you, because I don’t want to see bodily harm visited on anyone. What I do want is for you – and, for that matter, every shitposter I’ve ever seen – to learn that anonymity is not an excuse."
  • Oddly, Cs 188 does this to himself and his YouTube Poop viewers in [YTP] OMBABA'S NEW WORLD ORDER ACID TRIP.
    Barack Obama: Mr. Speaker. Mr. Bbbbbb~. Members of Caaaaaaa~. And fellow Poopers. Tonight, we meet at an urgent time. Millions have watched YouTube Poops and have spent months making their own, including some who are sitting here tonight. [cuts to view of "other Poopers"] They've seen the dick jokes too often. We continue to face YouTube Poopers like CS188 that have made things fucking worse. [audience claps] There are censored privates all across his work. Everything in here is the kind of shit that has been supported by young people with small dicks. [more clapping] Everyone knowns CS can't actually sentence mix. Dinner Warrior did the sentence mixing for everything in this video. So, for those who everyone who speaks so passionately about CS as the leader who saved YouTube Poop: shut up. CS188 is fucking overrated. [more clapping] More people have followed the example he set, making sex jokes and sentence mixing YouTube Poops. It's an outrage. We need to stop this right now. I want to see Poops with more EAR RAPE and random fucking shit flying back and forth. If you do the right thing, you can make it—everyone can make KevinTAckerman's Top Ten YouTube Poops of the Month. ALL of us will have to change the way we do Pooping. The only solution-lution-lution-lution is to let this crisis as an excuse to wipe out China!
  • From Project A.F.T.E.R.'s sporking of The Evil Gods Part I, there's an excellent "The Reason You Suck" Speech from Zeus to Percy Jackson after Percy, having joined the Prayer Warriors on their quest to kill all the Greek gods, denies that Zeus is his father.
    Zeus: “The fuck are you talking about boy! I’m not your father and I never was! Where the hell is this coming from anyway? Ever since you converted to Christianity you’ve been talking nothing but nonsense and gibberish. You’ve killed your friends because this dumbass told you to and now you’re working with Luke! You do remember he’s the host for Kronos right? Ouranos balls, he’s probably deluded them all into thinking he’s god. It would explain all the murder and deity killing. You don’t even care, do you? You don’t even care that you’re destroying the west and in the process, paving the road to the second Age of the Titans do you? Just go ahead and kill me boy, but when the Olympians are all dead and the Titans are destroying creation because of your stupid gullibility, just remember it was you who held the blade.”
  • In Z-Squared's review of Double Rainboom, the titular reviewer, after enduring what he considers a BAD, BAD, BAD "tribute" to one of his favorite shows, gives one to it's creator, Zachary Rich, after realizing he was the only writer. He has this to say to him:
    Z-Squared: "Okay...Zachary Rich, if that is your real name, which I bet it isn't, it is pretty clear now that what was important to you was not what the fans thought made the show a big hit, it was about what you thought made it a big hit. You got a lot of hard working animators and voice actors, you got a whole university to help you, you got our donations because we were so KIND to allow you to do this because apparently you were doing something for a good cause, and apparently that meant...you could do anything you wanted. You could...blow things out of proportion, you could lie, you could use that money for everything we did not want, you could...in basic summary...give a rats ass as to EVERYTHING THAT MADE THE SHOW GOOD IN THE FIRST PLACE!!! And why?! Because "this is a fan episode, you can do whatever you want". NO! YOU said this would be, show-accurate...pfft...show accurate my FOOT. I'm sorry, but all the blood, sweat, and tears put into this were not worth it! For god sake, I feel bad for all the animators and voice actors involved! They are clearly trying to do their jobs! But NONE OF THAT will make up for how much you FLANDARIZED the characters as much as humanly possible, how you destroyed and obliderated our childhoods, how much you...PANDERED to us and made us all look like IDIOTS, and it will never, EVER make up, for how you LIED TO US! Oh, and you think my voice is acting up right now? Well it better! It pretty much shows perfectly how I've been holding back this anger for long enough! And now, I have the chance to put you in your place, ZACH! Sigh, just sharing your name makes me wanna puke. But let me elaborate on the pandering a bit. I don't think we needed that many references in one, episode! Did you at least ONE time think that was a bit overwhelming?! Well look, there is a difference between making a love letter, and having NO RESPECT FOR OUR INTELLIGENCE! But overall, I've noticed something. Let's see. Ridiculous hype, lots and lots a' lies, an almost non-existent and laughable story, flandarized characters, lots of references that don't need to be there in the first place, what does this remind me o-oh, I know. Zachary Rich, you have not. Made. A My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic episode. No. You have made a monstrous combination of a A SELTZERBERG MOVIE, AND A MODERN, SPONGEBOB SPECIAL! I! HOPE! YOU'RE! PROUD!!!!!!!!!!
  • In Ducktalez 7, Vegeta receives one from Scrooge after ruining the attempt at finding Scrooge's money bin.
  • Fall of the Crystal Empire, a fan animation based on My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, has Princess Luna giving one to King Sombra when he provokes her into becoming Nightmare Moon.
    Luna: You think you've found an ally in darkness? Do you comprehend the powers you were gifted with, the same powers I was born into? Where do you think the shadows all go to hide from the precious light? Just who do you think stands against them? What you posses is a mere fraction of their might, the same might I stand unyielding against each and every night. You are nothing compared to them. You are nothing compared to me! You claim to know fear? I shall show you true terror!
  • In his Top 5 Best and Worst Animated Films for 2013, AniMat gave a short one to not only the people who worked on Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2, but to anyone who supported (i.e liked) the film as well, stating that they "should be ashamed of themselves, and even would need to reconsider their life." The resulting backlash was prominent, with many users on Facebook and YouTube calling him out for hating the film, and others for stating the comment in the video. He replied with on his YouTube page:
    "All right guys, before you go on your bashing after watching this, let's have a little talk. What's been going on seems to be getting a bit out of hand here. I'll admit, I might have gone a little too far regarding what I said about the people who enjoyed Cloudy 2. My hatred to those movies got me on a little ranting and often we all don't think much when we rant. I still think the Cloudy movies are a disgrace to the name of animation, but I might have gone overboard to comment about the people outside of those who worked on the films. But I will say this, what I said to the Cloudy lovers might be bad, but it doesn't surpass the the overreactions from you people. I don't think you guys understand the hard work I've made in order to make these videos for you guys, especially this one. There were so many people who were so eager and so exited to see this that they couldn't wait. I decided to do you people a favour and DELAYED the Epic Mickey Files in order to get this out first. So after all the sacrifices to give you what you wanted, this is the thanks I get? People whining and complaining over a little stupid comment I made that completely overshadows not only the other 19 minutes of the video, but the hours I've put into making this. I've handled crap like this before like in my Hotel Transylvania or Monsters University review, but this is something that you guys are taking way too out of hand.Look, this video and my review is meant to express MY OPINION on these movies. Sometimes you may agree with what I say, sometimes you don't. That's fine, even with what I said, it won't stop people from having their own opinions over Cloudy 2 or any other film in this video. However, saying that I'm wrong, a bad person or a hypocrite or whatever about an opinion I have over a movie is just a terrible way of thinking. Really think about it for a moment... will you let a little comment that took one second to say (over a movie none the less) completely destroy your enjoyment over the rest of the video or all the other videos I've made? You got admit, that's pretty weak.Whatever you guys do afterwards, rather if you keep on following me or not, is completely up to you, but remember this, I may look stupid when I rant about a movie and often, stupid things will come out of my mouth, but it's not even half as stupid as someone who rants and says stupid things over one person's opinion of a movie."
    • In response to this, several users would chew him out for the comment. Although several comments against him were manually deleted by him, eventually blocking comments entirely, some of these managed to be saved, one of these being this trope, explaining what was wrong, before they unsubscribed:
    "It wasn't your opinion, it was that you said, and I paraphrase, "Anyone who worked on/supported (ie liked) this movie, then they should be ashamed of themselves, and need to reconsider their life." Comments like these can rub people the wrong way, you were telling your subscribers "I don't like this movie, and you should too, or else, you're pathetic." I'm making it clear that it wasn't that you shouldn't have an opinion, it was you said people must have the same opinion as you on this movie, or they need to reconsider their own life. Now, I know you put a lot of hard work into your video, and I appreciate that, but with my assessments at school, I, at least, check with my teacher to see what I am writing to make sure it's up to standard. And even then, I'm happy to pass the assessment thanks to the help of my teacher, who helped checked beforehand before submitting it. You, on the other hand, didn't seem to either have a friend to check the video to make sure you didn't offend anyone, or, if you did, told them, even when they found that one line, that they are just complaining, noboby will notice. I tried to reach you on Facebook, explaining why I quit, you deleted the comment. I tried to reach to you on Deviantart, you blocked me. You may go ahead and say "It's pathetic that you guys are whining over that one comment that's my opinion, despite the fact that I'm disregarding yours, and my opinion is best, so kiss it", but it's even more pathetic when you don't fess up to your mistake, and chew out other people, claiming it's your opinion. Again, hard work, I know that, but look at Double Rainboom. A group of people put a lot of hard work into it, but reviewers all around the internet thrashed it for the content. People were excited for it, hyped for it, and it turned out to be a disappointment. Likewise, even though I respected your opinion, despite not agreeing with you, the line that I mentioned above pissed me off to no degree, and likely most others. And you're willing to say "Nobodies respecting my opinion! They SHOULD despite the fact that I told them they should follow mine or they should be ashamed of themselves for that." Bottom line AniMat. I'm sorry to say, but I've dealt with people like you before. The people who think they are better than others because they have a certain level of popularity on the Internet. I should've listened to the warning sign that you were one of them from the 'Walking With Dinosaurs' review, when you mocked him for asking about 'The Smurfs 2'. That one line in the video firmly cemented that, and that comment set it in for good. Go ahead. Reply that I'm pathetic for disagreeing with you all you want, how you delayed the Epic Mickey Files for this video, and how are you are allowed to have an opinion, it still won't change the fact that you are a generally disrespectful person for not allowing others to have an opinion themselves on that matter. I am sorry, but it is true. I'm honestly glad I unsubscribed. I am not willing to support a person who claims their opinion is law, and if you disagree with them you should be ashamed, but then complain about how he deserves to express his opinion himself. That, honestly, is hypocritical, you know it, but you are too scared to admit it. Now, if you need me, I'll search for other animated reviewers that actually respect others opinions, and don't go ranting about "But I worked hard on this video, don't hate it because I disrespected your opinion!" Goodbye."
  • Todd in the Shadows' "review" of Chris Brown's "Turn Up the Music" basically boils down to a 14 minute long rant about why Chris Brown is human waste. Todd also shows his disdain towards Team Breezy, Chris Brown's fanbase, and explains why they suck for supporting his reprehensible behavior.
  • This is the modus operandi of most trolls.
  • In Duckyworth's review of Eight Crazy Nights, after Davey gives a vicious one to Whitey, Ducky responds thusly:
    Narrator: ‘Wow.. just when you started to really like Davey, he goes and has a butt-hole relapse…’
    Duckyworth: Like… LIKE?! LIKE?!? FILM, despite all your attempts to FORCE me to feel sympathy towards this THING, I haven’t felt ANY emotion towards him from the moment this film began, despite your horribly PRETENTIOUS attempts… Film, before I continue… let me ask you a SERIOUS question… Do you know what it takes to make a worse character than one who ACTIVELY drives an innocent being to try to commit suicide?! (Mr Krabs) Than someone who stalks and harasses others? (Spongebob) Than someone who chases down an innocent house pet with a FLAMETHROWER, almost KILLS him with incompetence, and ends up delivering a WORSE episode than Puffy Fluffy ever could? (Patrick Star) Than someone who tries to RAPE two scientists and practically destroys an expensive government research project? (Butt and Doyle) Than someone who inspires riots in classrooms, destroys living rooms, causes a ton of property damage, and remains an arrogant and ignorant airhead, cares more about her father’s fortune than searching for him, and after all is said and done, she actively thinks she did nothing wrong? (Pippi Longstocking) Than an even WORSE version of Jessica Rabbit? (Holli Would) Than a slut-cat whose only purpose in the film is to cast aside a character who DESERVED the main character’s love? (Nhzompekth) Hell…even WORSE than a corrupt politician who sabotaged a scientist’s life’s work, killed many people, used the incident to become Prime Minister, and doesn’t take any responsibility for his actions?! (Bill Hawks) DO YOU?! …it takes some SERIOUS attention to horrible details… and some bottom of the barrel writing.
  • The Bad Webcomics Wiki are not often prone to delivering these, instead staying satisfied with making snarky remarks about comics and authors during their reviews, but they stil have their moments when they feel the need to cut loose. After having given Shortpacked! a negative review where they also called out Dave Willis for his behaviour, they still made it clear that they had hopes for him to improve before the comic ended in 2015. But then they sat through the last months of the comic, finding out more about Willis' misdeeds and saw the anti-climactic ending. They were not happy about that and decided to stop playing nice:
    Dave Willis: I am a different, better person than when I started. Writing Shortpacked! helped me examine my own beliefs and grow or prune them as life corrected me. I tried to use it as a tool to teach myself understanding and respect, to put myself in the brains of others. Sure, I'm still an asshole, but I like to think I'm a slightly better-targeted asshole these days. Your mileage may vary.
    Plarbman: Willis. No. I cannot agree with a single statement in this paragraph. Not a single one. Having read your comic from beginning to end, I can only say you've gotten worse as a human being. I know I said I felt sorry for you, but that pity got thrown out the window when I realized how much of a self-righteous, egotistical, intellectually cowardly bigot you are. And this has nothing to do with your attitudes on white, straight men. This is about how little you clearly care about the people you claim to support. There's more than one kind of racism and sexism, and the kind you are guilty of is paternalism. You don't get into the minds of black people/women/LGBT people, quite the opposite, your comic clearly has them say your opinions, your beliefs, your prejudices and biases. How is Ken not just an Asian version of Ethan, who is a gay version of you? How is Lucy not just a black version of Amber, who is a female version of you? When do they ever disagree with you, express their own ideas, be their own people? They're not. Because you don't truly care. They are props for you to hide behind and shout your opinions through, because you're too cowardly to admit you yourself might be wrong. And the people who disagree with you? Especially those who happen to be women/black/LGBT? Clearly they don't know what's good for them. You never became an atheist, Willis. You simply traded Christian Fundamentalism for Progressivism as your new religion!
  • The now retired Fanfiction Critic did several of these to trolls and bullies commenting on her channel and fanfiction writers alike, but there are two that stand out:
    • One she did out of character, Linny delivered a verbal thrashing to a user who demanded she read her fanfiction to the point of harassment:
    Linny: Now, MrPHDinEnglish has been telling me that I won't find anything wrong with her fanfiction. Apparently, her fanfiction is practically perfect in every way and if I were to read it I would have no choice but to give it a glowing review and heap praise upon her. Here's the thing, honey: I don't want to read your fanfiction and I certainly don't want to review it. Why, you ask? Here's the thing. You're being so obnoxious that I'm starting to hate you! And I wouldn't be able to review your fanfic objectively. I would try to find things wrong with it just so I could shoo you out! And that's not something I wanna do. That's why I don't review fanfictions written by people I know. I'm not gonna offer up a tainted review.
    • Another one had her calling out the author of Back to the Frollo for her blatant rape apology toward Esmeralda and Frollo.
    FFC: Woah there, author...now you're saying that Esmeralda was asking for Frollo to try and sexually assault her? Okay. Why don't you all look at this kitten while I attempt to compose myself. *shows a picture of a kitten* Okay, author: You. Are a bad. Person. I do not say this lightly, and I do not say it in jest. You are a horrible human being and I hope there's a special place in Hell for you.
    • And at the very end, after seeing an author's note that claimed that none of the anti-Romani sentiments were genuine on the author's part and that the characters were being represented fairly and unobjectively (for reference on how blatantly untrue this is, the story presents the word "Gypsy"—already considered a slur in and of itself—as though it's synonymous with criminal and horribly derailed every single character), we get this epic conclusion:
    FFC: Oh yeah, f***ing right! (drops a nickel in the cube of profanity) This gets an F, and it deserves it. It was racist, misogynistic, gave all of the characters lobotomies and it featured the most disgusting, despicable and repulsive Mary Sue I have ever seen in my life.
  • In Nan Quest, the Big Bad delivers two of these, one just before the climax, and one after. Both are followed by a Shut Up, Hannibal! from the protagonist, one of them qualifying as a "The Reason You Suck" Speech in and of itself.
    • Before:
      You can't stop me. I have worked too hard for this. You have no idea what I am. You don't even know who YOU are, Nancy. How you struggle in the darkness.
      And who are you now? How many memories have you buried away as your own?
      Do you still seek your children, Nancy? Do you remember the day of betrayal?
      Or do you still believe you are the special one, chosen to save the world from evil?
      Are you simply the one who left, when I needed you most?
      Did you learn a trade? How strange it should be the same that stood so starkly in the memories of your friend. But surely of all these memories, that one is yours?
      Did you live in a humble home? I have seen this place. A dead man's memory. Have you claimed that for yourself, as well?
      What is your last name? Who were your parents?
      Your mind is gone. Your life is already forgotten. Your motives are not your own. Do you have a single thought of your own making?

      [...]
      You are already forgotten.
      Die here. No one will mourn you. No one will even remember you.


      Nan says she will not leave.
      Not until this is finished.
      Nan shouts, defiant.
      It doesn't matter who she was or wasn't.
      It doesn't matter where she came from.
      She's here, now.
      She is Nan.
      And she is going to end this.
    • During:
      "You speak of sin?
      You carry your head so high for one so wicked, sister. You speak nobly, but sin festers in your soul.
      How could you abandon the church? Why should they suffer while you run free?
      How many died by your carelessness? How many souls did YOU burn that night, while the music boomed, in the fire your thoughtless hands let roar?
      What of your violence? You crippled a man in rage, and dared call yourself protector of his children.
      You MURDERED Henry, a lost soul who only sought his family.

      You left Anna to suffer. Where were you when she was screaming for help? Off playing in dreamland!
      You sent a young man to die at his father's hands, then left the father to bleed.

      And Kim — you were supposed to protect her, and now look at her! How much longer does she have now? Hours? Minutes?!"

      Nan shouts back, in fury[...]
      How dare you make those accusations?
      You steal memories but leave blame. You cast guilt for surviving.
      Lives have been saved. Peace has been offered. And all this protection has been from you.
      YOU are the threat. You started this. You burned those people!

      "They burned for a reason. Evil lives within me now, but I was meant to stop this. But for one hesitation, their deaths would have had a purpose. One moment of doubt ruined everything.
      HE HESITATED BECAUSE OF YOU
      YOU PLANTED THE SEED OF DOUBT
      YOU LED HIM ASTRAY FROM THE PATH
      Deny the rest as you wish,
      but all this
      now
      IS BECAUSE OF YOU.
      YOU'RE GUILTY AS SIN.
      "
  • In "Eldritch Application", the director of the SCP Foundation gives one to Zalgo, explaining why he can't be an SCP.
    Barring the fact that I refuse to participate in some weird contest of abominations, there's one big reason as to why we can't take you in. It's not a matter of money or difficulty of containment, oh no. We've got SCPs like 682, and it's pocket change to keep it locked up, even when it breaks out. And since you seem willing to cooperate with us, you'd be easy as pie to contain, as well. No, it's that you're just not interesting enough. [...] You are bursting with power, and have the capacity to end this world with a thought. That's all well and good for other organizations. But here at the SCP Foundation, we can't just accept you on those criteria. It's far too much. You're overpowered, you don't have a hook, and quite frankly, you're boring. When you get down to it, you just don't fit in with our image.
  • THE BEAUTIFUL DESTRUCTION OF STEVE SHIVES is one big speech in itself by The Amazing Atheist. In it, he points out Shives' well-known habit of blocking people en masse for the smallest of disagreements, his proclaimed stance against internet harassment yet openly supporting feminist doxxers and frauds, his insistence on always listening to women and rape victims' views on sexism and sexual assault yet condemning and blocking any woman or rape victim who disagrees with his pre-conceived views, openly talking shit about people for long periods of time in his own videos yet reporting videos that do the same to him as harassment (even when they are in response to the very shit-talking video he made about them), and putting petty YouTube feuds above actually helping women, such as when he refused to support saving Dina Ali's life simply because prominent Anti-SJWs were also supporting it.
    So what's the lesson here? Steve Shives will not assist people in need, even the ones he professes to care about. But he will assist anyone who accepts his narrative, even if they're vile, malicious people. It's not actually important for him to live up to what he preaches, just as long as other people preach it too, you're good. So are we beginning to detect a fucking pattern here? Steve Shives routinely holds agreement with himself as the paramount virtue, okay? All other virtues stem from that: Do you agree with Steve? In the Book of Steve, that's the fucking first and only commandment, "Agree with me." And he paradoxically holds agreement with his beliefs to be more important than his beliefs themselves. That's why you get this bullshit cognitive dissonance, like "Always listen to rape victims! Well unless they disagree with me," "We need to help women! Unless TJ or Sargon are doing it." The hypocrisy is actually quite fucking astounding. Steve is a tribalistic, vengeful, black-listing, cyberbully, hypocrite, jerk-off who condemns others for failing to live up to standards that he himself cannot meet.

    And despite all of that, despite all of that, I would never make even the slightest attempt to remove him from YouTube. I would never in a million years dream of depriving him of his right to his point of view. And that's the biggest difference between me and Steve, he wishes desperately for the power to silence me, meanwhile, even if I were given the power to silence him, I would not use it. Ironically, the only person that Steve had succeeded in silencing is himself. His channel is dying the death of a thousand cuts, it's hemorrhaging subscribers. In the same timespan that he lost seventy-nine subscribers, I gained thirty-eight thousand. My message has resonated with people for nearly a decade now. And while I'm never going to be the next fucking PewDiePie who gets thirty-eight thousand subscribers every time he fucking scratches his ass hole, I'm very happy with my channel's growth. I don't bring this up just to brag though - although bragging is a fringe benefit - I bring it up to make one last fucking point about Steve Shives. Here's a guy who wants to censor me because, and this is another direct quote from Shives talking about me, "We cannot be a community that supports proud, toxic, incorrigible bigots." He does this all the time, he bemoans my popularity as if it's an inditement against all of atheism. Well guess what, Steve? You don't get to fucking decide what people listen to. You don't get to fucking decide what voices rise up above the fray. The people do. They make their own decisions. And the decision that they've made is pretty fucking clear, I gained thirty-eight thousand subscribers in the last thirty days, you lost seventy-nine. While I'm rocketing towards a million subs, you're slowly counting back down to fucking zero. You are in no position whatsoever to speak for this community, they've heard your voice and they found it a grating offense to their fucking ears. Even those who once saw fit to subscribe to you are slowly but surely wandering away, wandering away in search of someone more fucking interesting, someone less hypocritical, someone who has the courage to practice what he fucking preaches, someone who doesn't censor all dissent, someone who isn't afraid to change his mind when he's fucking wrong. And I know it hurts you to hear it Steve, and that's why I'm going to say it loud and proud, that someone, is ME.

    I'm BETTER at this than you are, I'm BETTER at this than you were, I'm BETTER at this than you're ever going to fucking be. And I know that in your shitty little heart, that's what bothers you the most of all. And by the way, even though I have all of these fucking subscribers, and all these fans, and my fucking channel metrics are good, I STILL DON'T PRESUME TO SPEAK FOR THESE PEOPLE. I speak for myself. THEY decide what they agree with and won't they don't. But I'll tell you what Steve, you were right about one thing. We cannot be a community that supports proud, toxic, incorrigible bigots. And THAT is exactly why no one watches YOU.
  • DaThings1 gives a minor one in Jore Jarrison on Drinks towards most modern day YouTube Poop makers, mostly to those who just don't try.
    George Harrison: [through sentence mixing] I mean, I'm not going to kill you, Jessie Smith, or any people. I really don't intend to. DaThings just wanted to try to make me say something really sad. And its the same with all of those YouTubePoopers. Ah, and there is very few people who seem to sentence mix. It just gets hard to try and make it in YouTube Poop if you don't really try. I mean, a lot of Poopers just make people say lol, non, sus, and yey and some make nothing but dirty jokes and becomes dependent on it. It just gets old. I mean, that's a big problem, y'know? It's much better to try and not make any Poops, y'know?
  • Arin of Game Grumps gives a LEGENDARY chewing out about one powerup in their playthrough of Mega Man 3 and how it's placement was outright engineered to just screw with you on multiple levels:
    Arin: I'm really passionate about game design, right? THIS FUCKING 1-UP CAN SUCK MY DICK! It is the biggest load of bullshit ever! You wanna know why? 'Cause the only way you can get up there is Rush Jet. And guess what happens if you use Rush Jet? You waste your fucking Rush Jet trying to get it! Then you can't use it when it's required later! And then when you die on the part that Rush Jet is required for, guess what? You can't use Rush Jet when you respawn and you have an extra fucking life that you have to die with in order to restart the level to get enough Rush Jet!!! IT'S FUCKING STUPID!!! It's the dumbest fucking asshole move that any developer could have made!
    • From there, he goes off on a tangent of random vulgarities that would make the Angry Video Game Nerd blush.
  • Internet reviewer Des Shinta of "Tokusatsu in review" Had this to say about the climax of ""Kamen Rider Taisen" in his review of the movie:
    I could go down the list of people Kamen Riders have lost, but that’s defeating the point of refuting this.
    Every Kamen Rider has lost people. Every kamen Rider has had that person they just could not save. Every kamen Rider has regrets, has people they wish they had back in their life.
    …And some of them have gotten them back, or had weird moments where someone revives from the dead. There are various extenuating circumstances, but it does happen. I’m not denying this. But I defy This point, that such acts would lead to such an imbalance in the world, and for them to be this petty over that.
    The thing is… ...The Showa Riders, never got that. Not that I can remember. They lost people, and kept losing people
    That loss DEFINED several of them. As it has defined several heisei riders.
    I could see them being jealous, I could see them being mad about not getting that chance, or many of the Heisei choosing to live normal lives. Hell, ESPECIALLY Kotaro Minami, as he KEEPS having to KILL his brother; and GAVE UP his chance at happiness. I could see them being bitter. I could totally by that. I could see them being weary that this keeps happening.
    But it’s not framed in that context. And Furthermore, those heroes would NEVER act on it like that. Not after everything they experienced.
    And this is not decade, this is not ‘they’re past the point of no return and only one world and rider can survive’. They could stop this right now, go and fight badan, and win.
    Their losses have motivated these people to be better, to protect others and to sacrifice of themselves so others do not have to—ESPECIALLY These Seven.
    “Speaking of, I will give this movie credit, THAT is just plain BRILLAINT acting and direction for this scene with how OOO’s looks off to the side, both in remembrance, and in shame as he is the ONLY one of these riders ACTUALLY seeking a resurrection or hangs onto it in the manner these people claim.”
    But he has to. Causality Loop. Hell, Ankh never actually had true, defined life to begin with, so Eiji doesn’t count in the strict sense—he’s still alive in that broken medal that just needs to be fixed. And doing what the showa riders say, would be to screw things over even more by invoking paradox.
    The problem with this is, this is not a justification for what they’ve done. They are attacking ALLIES! People they have worked with and trusted in the past, people that would have helped them stop this, and all the justification they have is ‘you are responsible for letting this happen’?
    “Now if this was a criticism of incessantly bringing back the old for everyone to deal with, that would be another thing. But that is not their riders doing that, it is the WRTIERS, specifically, (Gestures to picture of Shoji Yonemura) THIS guy
    and that brings me to my next point…You want to know the first time old monsters and enemies revived themselves from the grave? You want to know the rider who was there. Because I know it. I reviewed it. IT was THE ORIGINAL SERIES! This has been happening The entire franchise!”
    Badan is a SHOWA Enemy. Shocker—who’s will they’ve inherited and simply just don’t die, is a Showa enemy. Most of the monsters in this Movie are showa enemies—some have just had their outfits updated from previous movies; and it’s still not working towards fixing the problem. How would the HEISEI be connected to that? That Reason does not explain that!
    Hell, the Heisei DEALT with their monster revival and ANOTHER stupid retcon about the origins of THEIR powers without complaint!
    That lockseed (The Heisei Rider lockseed of Kamen Rider fifteen, a plotpoint in the movie) can’t be it, it comes out of nowhere; connecting that to all this just doesn’t make sense.
    Is it Kouta removing Shuu from the underworld? Well that can’t be, ‘cause that delayed Badan’s plans while you had no interest in anything but the enemy; and you weren’t attacking them for that. You’re attacking them for feeling loss, regret, and a wish that things were different.
    But that feeling of loss? IT’s human! It’s something each and every human has to go through, learn to cope with, and eventually move on from, but always carry it with you. For if you give up that last piece of them they are as if they NEVER existed at all in your life. Those lingering memories and feeling exist….because they are human. And Every, EVERY Protagonist Kamen Rider Has that feeling inside them. Every SINGLE ONE!
    Time could have certainly healed the wounds for all of the relevant, or helped them move on from it. But to say the Heisei riders—and these ones in particular—alone are responsible, when a part of the grieving process is learning to live with that loss, which many of them are still in part going through…is just plain cruel. And reveals how far the Showa Riders have fallen if they really believe that; if they have forgotten the time when they also shared that pain.
    And to blame them—BLAME Them for being HUMAN! Attacking them without provocation, just because they exist? Because they have feelings that motivate their actions in Saving people? Making no action to correct it aside from a final solution? That’s not what a Kamen Rider Does. No, they’re attacking out of spite. Out of Hatred, and not caring who is a casualty as a result.
    “and thus, their logic is wrong, their ability to empathize is gone, and their reasons are justifications to do what they want. CONGRATULATIONS TOEI COMPANY! You just allowed a hack writer to make your Legacy heroes into VILLAINS!
    I don’t even think that truly captures…how wrong this all is to me; to how…wrong it is to be done by the showa riders. It is so bad I cannot put it into words. But the only descriptive term I can think of, when I look at The first Six riders and Black in this scene, is Villain. Because what do you call someone that is actively preventing people from saving the world? That would discard their comrades so callously? Preferring to KILL each-other over helping each-other?
    (Voiceover of Kruge and Kirk’s exchange from the climax of "Star Trek 3" over still frames of Tsuakasa Kadoya and kamen rider Ichigo)
    [Tsukasa still frame with Kirk voiceover: “If we don’t work together we’ll die here”]
    [Ichigo still frame with Kruge voiceover: “Perfect! Then that is the way it shall be”]
    And it’s the same damn problem as Super Hero Taisen. The Justifications are so weak for the conflict, it actually does more damage to have the revelations, and supposed heroes are once more facilitating the plans of the villains when they’re operating out in the open—when they know what they need to do to stop them without ANYBODY dying, and yet they are still in conflict.
    Oh don’t think just because I’m railing on the Showa that the Heisei are off the hook. Shotaro and Takumi’s indifference to a coming conflict that they could help stop is abhorrent as well, but I’ve already explained Them, and it’s better established they’re out of character simply because more people have watched their series. Most people write off the showa era, and don’t know any better about them, so there are going to be people out there that thing this IS what they are like, when it’s not.
    “And thus, THIS. Is. The Worst Kamen Rider Movie. Let’s go Kamen Rider was Awful, even before judging it as an anniversary movie, but it didn’t even focus on who it was supposed to, be a celebration and throwback to the early days, or even the current rider and learning of the heritage he’s a part of. But this…This is just offensive. Because…It makes the people…responsible for…for much of this genre’s inevitable popularity, pride and Legacy…I mean, Yeah, Tsuburaya and Toho, but the main bulk is Toei…It makes the people that even allowed this franchise to get to the point where it could be successfully revived and run for 15 years… wholly inhuman. In this movie, the Showa Kamen Riders are arrogant, Disdaining, inhuman, villainous…Monsters.
    *pause, begin clapping* Congratulations. You have Ruined Showa Kamen Rider, for anyone who would wish to go back and see it for the first time. I hope you are happy.
  • The first of several, once more from Des Shinta, in his review of the sequel to Kamen Rider Taisen,"Super Hero Taisen GP: Kamen Rider Sangou"
    “Kamen Rider Sangou is Kamen Rider V3. He has always been kamen Rider V3. The Sangou in this movie was inspired by a 5-page story for a digest magazine done by one of Ishinomori’s understudies, NOT Ishinomori Himself, back when everything official went through him. He was created from initial idea’s for the third kamen rider Ishinomori was planning, and Said plans eventually BECAME V3, as Ishinomori knew it would be best to give closure to Ichigo and Nigo’s stories before moving to a new hero."
    Likewise, shocker making proper shocker riders as they do with sangou in this film? That has also been explored; Again in the original series—where THEY LOST—and in the original manga, the latter of which inspired the reboot movies I don’t like.
    And even if they were going to do this straight, the Sangou from that story was supposed to be Kazuya Taki, one of Hongo and Hayato’s allies FROM the original series.
    “And he’s NOT here, THAT is not the Sangou in THIS Movie, nor did they even attempt the relation. Thus, Sangou is noncanon to both THE Original SHOW And ANY Manga, not an Ishinomori Rider, not a SHOWA rider, Nor one that was the forgotten franchise black sheep they tried to sell him as, And NOT the character he is supposed to be even if they were doing right by this, just masquerading as such for their little event by calling him a kamen Rider instead of a shocker rider.
    IT’s once again just an excuse to denigrate heroes by dividing them up and setting them against each-other for petty, idiotic, unjustified, character-assassinating reasons while promoting a god-moding Jackass Gary stu, and to mock the show’s roots despite them having better storytelling that this.
    • he then proceeds to drop a microphone
  • GoAnimate:
    Clementine: No, we'll never invite you because you're a tantrum thrower, a crybaby, not our best friend and everyone hates you and so do we.
  • In 2012, animator John Kricfalusi started a Kickstarter campaign to fund his latest cartoon. The estimated completion date was February 2013, and backers responded by sending over $136,000. However, the deadline for the cartoon came and went, leading multiple backers to complain about not receiving the pledge prizes, express frustration at the lack of updates, and voice their disappointment in Kricfalusi's failure to meet his budget or his deadline, particularly after it was revealed the money was all gone and the cartoon was incomplete. As one disappointed backer put it almost a year after the pledged completion date:
    Frank Gidlewski: Wow.....John....the fuck, man? Seriously? I'm a recent college grad, a hundred bucks that I donated isn't chump change to me...obviously neither to you, but it seems you didn't follow a good budget plan. I went into animation because of you, I really listened to a lot of what you had to say, and now I feel ripped off totally. Like discovering my religion lied to me. I've heard bad things about you before but now I have no cartoon, I'm out a hundred bucks, and I have YET to receive any prizes. I've abstained from writing any annoying comments, but now that I hear you took a Miley Cyrus job after taking 130,000 dollars from your "fans" and you can't deliver.....man....as the adorable yellow critter you hate so much would say: eat my shorts, man.
  • In the Graphic Novel Picture Show. The host of the show gives a nasty one to Lois Lane at the end of Superman II and her actions of Clark Kent giving up his powers for her and regaining them to fight the Zod gang, but is now is crying because she can't tell anybody-
    Lois Lane: Don't you know this is killing me? Do you know what it's like coming here every morning and not being able to talk to you? Not being able to show any feelings for you, not being able to tell any one who you are? I don't know what to call you.
    Red Lantern Solkir: That has got to be the most self-centered, idiotically selfish thing you have ever said! So now that you got everything you ever wanted, you're upset because you can't talk about it or tell anyone?! Lois Lane, you are a horrible person!
  • Homer gives a devastating one to Lisa in SpeedoSausage's animation Lisa Killed Off The Simpsons
    Homer Simpson: Get the fuck out, you little SHIT! YOU LITTLE SHIT!
    Lisa Simpson: W-w-why..?
    Homer Simpson: Because no-one fuckin' likes you, that's why. D'you know why people think the new Simpsons episodes suck complete BALLS compared to the old episodes? It's because the writers are trying their fucking HARDEST to make you relevant and likeable, they make you the star of more and more episodes! And all of them just revolve around boring shit like Buddhism and Vegetarianism! All your jokes are fuckin' forced as shit! Fuckin' MAGGIE over here adds more to the show than you, FUCKIN', one episode character F-Frank Grimes, adds more to the show than you! You fuckin' cunt! What do you even- What do you even DO? Just... fuck off!
  • SuperMarioLogan:
    • In "Chef Pee Pee's Birthday", Chef Pee Pee gives this speech to Bowser and Junior after they throw him a crappy birthday party:
    Chef Pee Pee: "Really, is this what my birthday consists of? Come on, Bowser, you can do better than this! Come on, really?"
    Bowser: "Stop being ungrateful, Chef Pee Pee! We all tried really hard, okay?"
    Chef Pee Pee: "Well, you didn't try hard enough! I swear, you guys suck! This is the worst birthday ever!"
    Junior: "Wait! Dad, he didn't like the gifts we gave him?"
    Chef Pee Pee: "No, I didn't like the gifts, they were horrible!" [To Junior] "You took yours back," [To Bowser] "And you gave me a spatula! Oh, I wonder what you gave me a spatula for..."
    Bowser: "Obviously to cook, duh!"
    Chef Pee Pee: "Of course!"
    Junior: "What else would you do with a spatula, Chef Pee Pee? You cook with it!"
    Chef Pee Pee: "You guys are selfish!" [To Bowser] "You buy me something to help you," [To Junior] "And you take yours back and you spend my birthday money on a video game!"
    Junior: "But the video game's fun!"
    Chef Pee Pee: "You know what? F*BLEEP* you guys! Don't talk to me for the rest of the day, okay? Know what? The rest of the month! Even better, the rest of the year! I'm so sick of you guys! You guys think of yourself and only you!"
    Chef Pee Pee: "I hate you, I hate you because you're an annoying little brat! All you do is come in the kitchen, bother me, while I'm cooking, and then you bring the toys in there like I wanna play with you, but I'm not a child! I don't have time for that! I have to wash dishes! And all you do is make messes in the kitchen!" [6 hours later] "And the reason I hate you the most Junior? Is because you exist! Would not—why would God even create a little bastard like you?! Please tell me—in this beautiful universe he could create anything else! But it's OK, I'mma take you out of this universe. Any last words Junior?"
  • Starling delivers one to Nivel-X during the climactic battle again in the Disgaea/Monster Hunter mashup world in We Are Our Avatars. It affected Nivel-X's mental state to the point where it caused Nivel-X's head to explode. Granted, Nivel-X grew another head, but that did a lot of damage.
  • Despite PIEGUYRULZ normally avoiding blowing up at cartoons, he does deliver one to the Teen Titans Go! in his "Let's Get Serious" rant:
    Pie Guy: But fine, Teen Titans Go!. If you would like me to get serious, I can get serious. Your show is incredibly stupid. All of the characters are indistinguishable and infantile. All of your plotlines feel like they were written by a fifth-grader and the characters don't care about them, so the audience doesn't care about them. All of your jokes fall completely flat because everyone sees them coming and there's NOTHING to contrast them against. The ONLY reason why this show is continuing to go on is because it is cheap to make and has brand recognition because of the great show that was the ORIGINAL Teen Titans. Your show in what is only the most ironic of ironies, is nothing but a JOKE to the animation industry! You are the equivalent of a chinese knock-off of an action figure! You took the name of something we loved, you took the likenesses but you managed to screw up EVERY LITTLE DETAIL ABOUT THEM. It's not that we want the show to be more serious, it's that we want the show to be less moronic! The show cannot comprehend the basics of comedy, OR telling a story! Even the most serious episodes of the original Teen Titans are more funny than THIS!
  • SaG from Movie Rehab doesn't give one but three reason you suck speeches in his Being John Malkovich review:
    After Maxine decides to leave Lotte alone in favor of Craig in John Malkovich's Body:
    Sag: Well there we go: Unfunny, uncharismatic and completely shallow: The reason that I hate you Maxine is because you love to insult other people for who they are, yet you don’t seem to share any trade of skills yourself. You are nothing more than a coward who just stays around with people for your very own benefits or safety. And no she’s not clever by doing that, she just does it to make it more comfortable for herself. I really don’t understand what people are seeing in her character. Maxine doesn’t have any funny lines, is irredeemably unlikable and is also a complete hypocrite who makes fun of other people, yet she’s one of the most flawed characters in this entire movie. That’s the problem that I have with her and yes: There’s an even worse character in this film. I don’t want to believe it myself, but sadly: It’s true.

    Dr. Lester/Captain Mertin: We're gonna kill Maxine if you don't leave the body immediately!
    Craig Schwartz/John Malkovich: But I can't do that. I mean, if I leave Malkovich, then I'm Craig Schwartz again. No career, no money. Maxine will have nothing to do... She barely has anything to do with me now.
    Dr. Lester/Captain Mertin: Jesus, we're going to kill your wife, you fucking lunatic!
    Craig Schwartz/John Malkovich: God.
    Dr. Lester/Captain Mertin: Listen, Schwartz, Malkovich is our vessel. We're old. We're going to die if we don't get into him by midnight...
    Sag then takes off his sunglasses and then rubs his eyes out of anger.
    Sag: You know what: Fuck you Mertin! I am so sick and tired of your behaviour. You call Craig a lunatic? You are not the one to talk! I really hate the fact that you are stealing the identities of other people with the possibility that their remaining souls fade away into nothing through your takeover. Why don’t you just grow a fucking backbone and actually die with dignity like a decent human being? Oh yeah that's right: John Malkovich doesn’t seem to look like a person to you, he’s just another disguise that you can wear to hide your dirty old ass from death. The fact that Mertin doesn’t get any comeuppance for his actions sickens me beyond all reasons and kills all the positive aspects that I previously mentioned throughout the entire review. That’s quite an accomplishment really!

    After Dr. Lester/Mertin and his friends took over John Malkovich's Body.
    Sag: Mertin… I’m pretty sure that there’s a special place in hell for people like you. So if you should actually kick the bucket someday, the dying souls of Malkovich and company are celebrating a party while watching you and the rest of those old people suffer for all eternity.
  • JuniorfanReturns' two-part commentary on the infamous Duane "Sailormoonred1" Skip McAllen. In part 2, where Duane talks about why he's unemployed, Junior loses it when Duane says that school being a federal state obligation wasn't important to him when attending it.
    Juniorfan: Do you hear yourself talk, Duane?! Does your inadequate mind comprehend that what you just said was completely and utterly fucking retarded?! It should've, because going to school is a federal state obligation, dumbass!! What the fuck is wrong with you?! Do you understand that most businesses that run corporations such as McDonald's and fuckin' Wal Mart and any of the places that you are willing to work, most of them require at least a GED, or a high school diploma?! Don't you fucking realize this, especially in this day and age?! OF COURSE YOU DON'T!! You make me sick with this fucking video, Duane, and the main reason why I'm raging, is because of your stupidity level, okay?! I'm sick and tired of morons, like you, that thinks it's cool, just to sit on your fucking lazy asses all day, doing absolutely fucking nothing! You have the physical ability to actually work! I'm sick and tired of people like you, that ruin our fucking country, so SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!
  • Whateley Universe:
    Phase (to The Yellow Queen): “Have you ever considered that you’re playing a losing hand? Your so-called ‘Alpha’ playmates are a gang of thugs and losers who won’t be important once they’re out of high school. And you know what? They’re not even important now. Hekate’s gone, and is probably going to be locked up for the rest of her life. Excellent role model there. The Don’s still laid up in hospital. Kodiak’s fired most of the hit squad goons. Solange has bitten off more than she can chew, and she’s still paying for it. So think about it. By the time you get any further up the Alpha ladder, you’ll graduate. And then you’ll be nothing. The Golden Kids will have all the money. The Capes will have the cool superhero gigs. The devisers and gadgeteers you’re ignoring now will be the rich nerds with the big houses. Start thinking about your future, Patty. Where are you going to be in three years? Do you want to grow old, sitting around and thinking ‘junior year of high school was the best year of my life, that was when Solange didn’t spit on me’? Because your life is truly going to suck if the best thing you can think of is being an Alpha cast-off in high school.”
    Doctor Venus (to Dr. Macabre): "Cobb, like I said, Nobody Likes You. And it's not just that snotty attitude of yours, though God knows that doesn't help. Cobb, the Syndicate is a bunch of professional crooks, thieves, spies, assassins and mad scientists- AND YOU'RE STILL A FUCKING EMBARRASSMENT! The rest of us do horrible, illegal things... but YOU? You experiment on KIDS! I get a lot of grief for what I do to my stud-muffins, but at least I give them a fucking choice! They volunteer for what I do to them. You? You grab kids off the street and shove them literally kicking and screaming into that Monster Chamber of yours! You turn them into fucking monsters! That's sick, Cobb, SICK!"
    Eldritch (to Imperious) “Lesson one, know your opponent’s weaknesses.” Caitlin stepped the last yard and slammed her fist at Imperious’ chest. He managed to deflect the impact to his shoulder and rocked back. It hurt worse than a shot from Kodiak. Caitlin’s attack wasn’t stronger, but her attack had overtones of actual, serious hand to hand training and intent to cause massive bodily harm.
    “Lesson two, don’t skimp out on Ito’s martial arts classes because you think you’re such a badass that you don’t need it. Most real opponents aren’t impressed. Training trumps power, you overconfident jackass.”
    “Shut up.” Imperious launched a haymaker at Eldritch’s face as her skin crackled with energy. In his mind, even Kodiak or Hippolyta would have had a hard time stopping the speed and power of such a strike. The woman in front of him slapped his hand aside and snapped an elbow forward, cracking his jaw with the force of a bus impact. Her style wasn’t flashy, it wasn’t particularly inspired, but it was brutally simple in its intent to cause harm.
    “Lesson three, blocking. Your form sucks, you have no experience, and you fight like an amateur school bully. You have no capacity to fight without your cronies.” She grabbed his incoming leg and twisted hard, forcing him to spin, lest his leg break in two as she slapped her palm to his back, driving him face-first into the snow.
    Imperious was getting angry. He was up and darting at her only to eat a blast of chaotic energy that ripped across his body, causing short-lived but painful alterations of his form seemingly at random. Animal shapes of limbs intermixed with human deformity for a brief six seconds before his natural shape imposed itself and the pain stopped.
    Caitlin looked at him contemptuously. “Big bad New Olympian, stopped by a mere Exemplar four. Here’s a newsflash as to why.” Caitlin darted forward and kicked the Exemplar 5 Imperious’ legs out from under him, driving him to his knees as she grabbed his long white hair and ripped his head back.
    “Your body as powerful as it is, is still recovering from puberty. You’re off-balance, your reflexes are off, and you don’t know just how strong you actually are.” She lifted her hand and drove it down once with each following word. “I. DO. NOT. SUFFER. FROM. THIS. PROBLEM!” She threw him to the ground, and backed up. “Do we have any further lessons we wish to learn today?”
  • Pewdiepie delivers one towards a Youtube user named "Dillon the Hacker" after the latter got hacked and Dillon is begging for Pewdiepie to help him recover his channel. Keep in mind that Dillon has said a lot of nasty things about Pewdiepie, his girlfriend Marzia, and the entire Bro Army.
    Felix: Why would I help you? You constantly make videos bashing me and my fans, and you're 99% of the reason why I had to turn off the comments in my videos before because of your constant spamming of my comments section. You and your friends have also made videos insulting my girlfriend, going so far as to claim she's cheating on me in one of your videos. So no, I will not help you and not only will I not help you, but I'm glad this happened to you. For all of your threats to hack people I think that it's great that karma finally caught up to you and your channel has been hacked. I can only hope you learn some sort of lesson from all of this because at the moment, I think you are a very sad and despicable person. You've gotten exactly what you deserve— do not attempt to contact me again.
  • The Saga of Tuck:
    Kelly: "What, you just figured out I'm a lesbian? You've been calling me that all year, I don't know why it's such a surprise now. But you keep saying that like it's a bad thing, like someone should be ASHAMED of it or something. When it's pretty damned obvious that YOU'RE the one that's shameful and disgusting, Natalie. So, I AM a lesbian! But I'm not ashamed of ME, I'm ashamed of YOU. You're an embarrassment. And you know what else? You're the kind of girl that makes me want to date guys. You give women a bad name. So go sit in your little homophobic closet and finger each other while lying about what you're doing, and stay the FUCK AWAY FROM ME."
  • In the Undertale-based fan animation Papyrus Finds A Human, Sans gives a short one to Papyrus that's briefly hidden in the subtitles, in response to a particularly bone-headed observation from the latter as to what Frisk is when they see them. It's Played for Laughs more than most, however—
    Papyrus: Quiet, Sans! Remember what we're here for. To keep watch for HUMANS!
    Sans: [Points off-screen] Like that one! [Beat]
    Papyrus: [Upon seeing Frisk] OH MY GOOOOOOOD! ...that's a human, right?
    Sans: ...yeah. (What the hell do you think, fucko? Do you think you'll ever have a chance at entering the Royal Guard with an intellect like this? I'll have you know that the standards of the Royal Guard are very vigorous, and nothing anyone can just get into because they want it. You're garbage, Papyrus. GARBAGE.)
    Papyrus: YES! Excellent!
  • Prominent YouTube Poop maker EmperorLemon, notable for making numerous YTPs based off of various Pixar movies (such as The Frying Nemo Saga) eventually announced that he was going to move on from making poops based on Pixar movies and make shorter non-Pixar related YTPs. Regardless, his fans kept bugging him about making more Pixar poops, even after he opened an update video by reiterating that he wanted to move on from making these videos, at which point he outright stated that if they couldn't deal with him not making any further Pixar videos, they could unsubscribe from him and quit watching. Regardless, his fanbase continued to badger him about it on every video he uploaded. This came to a head after Finding Dory came out, resulting in the fanbase clamoring for a sequel to the beloved Frying Nemo saga, even with the movie still being in theaters at the time and not legally obtainable. Finally, Emperor Lemon decided he had had enough and proceeded to upload a video entitled "Frying Dory" which was not actually a YouTube Poop, but a six minute long version of this trope; starting with a montage of comments clamoring for a Finding Dory YTP from every one of his recent videos and ending with Emperor Lemon finally exploding and personally delivering one himself to his fanbase:
    Emeperor Lemon: (passively) Hooo boy, I have such loving and supportive fans...but there's just one small thing you need to know about Frying Dory, and that's that THE F--KING MOVIE ISN'T EVEN OUT ON DVD YET YOU G--D--- M---ERF--KING IDIOTS!! DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW THIS S—T WORKS?! EVEN IF I WANTED TO MAKE FRYING DORY, WHICH I DON'T BY THE WAY, I CAN'T MAKE IT BECAUSE I CAN'T ACQUIRE THE ACTUAL SOURCE MATERIAL. THESE VIDEOS DON'T JUST SPAWN INTO EXISTENCE BY SHEER F—KING FORCE OF WILL. BUT PLEASE, CONTINUE ASKING ME TO MAKE FRYING DORY. IT'S NOT LIKE I DIDN'T SAY I WOULDN'T MAKE IT IN AN UPDATE VIDEO. EXCEPT I TOTALLY DID!! OOOPS!!! I GUESS YOU COULDN'T BE BOTHERED TO WATCH IT BECAUSE IT'S NOT A F—KING PIXAR POOP! OH WELL, I GUESS THAT'S MY FAULT, TOO, BUT I GUESS THAT NOW THAT I HAVE YOU WATCHING THIS UPDATE VIDEO, YOU CAN FINALLY LISTEN TO ME TO TELL YOU TO UNSUBSCRIBE ONE HUNDRED TWENTY FIVE TIMES! HEY? CAN YOU UNSUBSCRIBE?! CAN YOU UNSUBSCRIBE!? CAN YOU UNSUBSCRIBE?!?
    (cut to his usual Twitter handle, which reads "F—k Off" instead of his usual username)
  • YouTube user SavageBroadcast created not one but two videos (both sadly since deleted) calling out Confused Matthew on his lack of objectivity, inability to handle criticism, and shallow understanding of the art of cinema.
  • In How It Should Have Ended kids' version of "The Princess and the Pea," the Princess launches into one upon learning she was being tested and that's why she didn't get a good night's rest:
    The Princess: Woah, woah, woah. I showed up on your doorstep drenched, filthy, and exhausted. And you decided to... test me?!
    The Prince: Um... Yes. It was all a test. But... you passed! So hurray!
    The Queen: And now you two can get married! Hurray!
    The Prince: Yes! Married! Ha ha!
    The Princess: NO! We're not getting married! What is wrong with you people?! That's the meanest thing anyone has ever done to me! Why would I want to marry someone who treats women that way?!
    The Prince: Um... Because I'm a prince!
    The Princess: What was it you said to me last night? Oh, right. I remember. (Jump Cut to the Princess outside the castle with her gear.) Good Day!
    The Prince: But wait! You're the only true princess in the land!
    The Princess: Yeah? But you're not the only prince! I'm off to find someone nicer!
  • Scanlan of Critical Role delivers a scathing one to Vox Machina after waking from his coma, due to them letting his daughter see his corpse and not taking him seriously. This is despite the fact that he refused to open up about his problems to his team in the first place, and outright refused to believe the truth about how they really felt about him.
    • Thankfully he later apologizes and admits that part of the reason he lashed out is his own inability to speak truthfully, and that he thought it would be easier to leave like that.
  • In response to the 'Safe Space' episode of South Park, a redditor gave a rather blunt observation on the reality of the show's claims of being apolitical:
    Yeah, and Manbearpig was almost ten years ago. What an idiot Al Gore was to think climate change was real.
    South Park has always been fundamentally reactionary; those pushing for change are wrong no matter what change they push for. Nothing is a bigger crime to Matt and Trey than Giving a Shit. Their ideology is apathetic-libertarian; whether you're on the left or the right, if you're asking me to change my behavior, you suck.
    As it stands, the political left tends to push for more change than the political right does; as it stands, Matt and Trey admit they dislike conservatives and "really fucking hate" liberals. It isn't about left or right; it's about change versus comfort. If you're trying to change something, they think you're annoying. And they think you're lame, because caring about stuff is lame.
    It's the same attitude that establishes "u mad" and "butthurt" as the ultimate trump cards in internet arguments: caring is for losers, and if you become personally invested in politics you're part of the problem. Uncritical, detached acceptance of the status quo is the only morally upright posture, and those who draw a distinction between is and ought are all smug bullies, outlandish freaks, and/or closed-minded zealots.
    It's a show that teaches its audience to become lazy and self-satisfied, that praises them for being uncritically accepting of their own biases, and that provides them with an endless buffet of thought-terminating cliches suitable for shutting down all manner of challenges to their comfort zones.
    South Park is a place where you never have to have your assumptions challenged. It's a place where you're always right, you shouldn't bother to think, and the people asking you to change your mind are annoying busybodies and prigs who should just shut up and leave you alone.
    South Park is, if you'll excuse the expression... a "safe space."
  • Within the comments section of Unhappy Orchestra's Wrong Enemy cover, lies several rebuttals to Karjam's criticisms.
    The Unhappy Orchestra: You said a lot of words, but what is your point? Nothing you said actually commented on the song itself. You could literally copy paste that comment on any song and it'l still be as vauge and meaningless while having a very passive aggressive tone that confuses me more than anything. What is wrong with the song, what is right, what could've been changed, why do you think it doesn't translate well, and why are you acting as if you have amazing observational skills that put you above the rest?
    The Unhappy Orchestra: There you go again, being as vauge as possible to give negative criticism while still not pointing out anything about the song itself. That's extremely unhelpful. The only thing you said is that I don't know what I'm doing, and insulted everyone complimenting the song that they don't have "keen observational skills" on a purely subjective topic. You basically told me to disregard all compliments on this song because I "don't know what I'm doing." I don't know what your problem is, but it seems like you are unable to express it. You use a lot of big words, which I do understand, but they are vauge and meaningless due to the lack of any content or examples to back it up.
    Amusan Contrast: Damn you're insecure. Starting debates online as a John Doe to make yourself look like some god while criticizing people for not using proper grammar as if you're some high school English professor. Something really tells me you're just some 8th grader seeking attention by spitting out some bullshit philosophy you pulled out your ass. You also can't be that smart knowing how you assumed that to be pretentious you had to claim that you're better than everyone else.
    Crimson Darkness SS: Bud, this isn't psychology. Your egotistical, condescending attitude ensures that no one but your fellow Christians can tolerate you and no amount of rationalisation on your part is going change that. Huh, no wonder your world is so small. If this is how you act toward someone on the internet, I can only wonder how you act around people offline.
    Crimson Darkness SS: Getting desperate are we? We may have been members of the same forum once but that doesn't mean we're all static personalities. People change, Karjam. They don't all possess one dimensional anime personality traits that never develop. As for ego Karjam, you have this eternal hubris about you. No matter how many people try to talk you, you always stick to half baked assumptions because you honestly believe that people don't change. Because you have to be right all the time. Because you can't seem to understand that real people won't consider you wise, just dangerously naive.
  • Upon dealing with Karjam's arrogance within the comments section of his At Doom's Gate cover:
    Crimson Darkness SS: "Many just simply refuse to listen. These sort of people tend to be quite vocal against my own mere words." Oh look at Mr Messiah here. Dude, you're not some orater whose good with people; your understanding of other people is abysmal and quite frankly, your attitude is quite appalling. But then again, you never were the type to listen, were you?
    • After Crimson's realization that Karjam isn't even trying:
    Crimson Darkness SS: Come to think of it, why should I have to provide everything while you do nothing? You've done nothing but ask me to do everything while you sit there all high and mighty, looking down on everything I've said.
    It's funny your response to me asking about some Grabbag cover was met with your arrogance. You were rude and your updated description is basically you claiming that your lazy cover was better than Lee Jackson (Duke Nukum 3D) and Mick Gordon (Doom)'s efforts on their respective objects. It's quite egotistical to claim you're better when your own Youtube channel doesn't reflect your so called "philosophy".
    • After Karjam turns the conversation back to himself:
    Crimson Darkness SS: Well yes, but that's no longer the topic of conversation. But ah, who am I to reject a request? If your extended description and your responses to Kushagra are any indication, you are arrogant because you seem to think you're better than everyone else. This quote from your extended description:

    "Truth to be told, songs like "At Doom's Gate" and "Grabbag", their composers did not properly visualise a distorted guitar sound, even though they happen to use it as their main instrument. The composers did not keep in mind the actual thoughts behind their songs. Nostalgia and the like may cause you to love this song, but what I'm talking about isn't subjective in nature. It's about how the composers treated the song's messages. In the case of something like "At Doom's Gate", they went more with making songs they subjectively liked, rather than actually developing the thoughts behind their songs properly. This, in turn, heavily hampered many things within their songs, up to and including the way they treated the musical instrumentation. A proper use, the proper trust, is all that's needed in order for a distorted guitar to actually sound like a distorted guitar. Among other things, the songs are starved of this trust."~ Karjam P; Master of Doom's Gate, Believer of His Thoughts

    Dude, you might as well just say that you consider yourself superior to them because that's basically it. As for the rudeness, it's clear from your tone that you think that us people are beneath you, that we're uneducated heathens who simply don't get your divine teaching. No, we simply don't agree with you. Not all of us have a problem with your philosophy but we do have a problem with your attitude.
    And to think I simply wanted to talk about Karjam Pizza. I guess I'll have to leave the pizza in the oven a little longer...

    Karjam: The only reason why the alleged conversation had changed topics was because of you. I wasn't the cause, here.
    So, you think that I am arrogant, is that what you're saying? Are you saying one shouldn't even care for another's work? By stating that I'm arrogant precisely due to me analysing a projected thought, you're actually stating the countless of many who also do the things that I do to also be arrogant; such documents and the like are easy to find online, especially since there are entire channels with series dedicated towards this sheer practice.

    Crimson Darkness SS: I know what this is, you're trying to turn this conversation back on me because you have nothing to say. I've repeatedly stated the reasons for your arrogance and every single time (without fail), you've deliberately ignored or distorted everything I've said just to make me look bad.

    Then again, the way you've treated Kushagra is worse because you insist that you know than he does on a subject that he's spent several years of his life on. You've basically tried to make him look like a simpleton and it failed. Every time you time you pull this trick, it blows up in your face and only shows us how egotistical you really are.

    It's no wonder that Shane and the Masterminds like you, you'll constantly repeat the same points without ever considering that maybe you're incorrect or that you're being toxic.
  • On Kulor Research Labs Inc's Chemical Plant Zone on Super Nintendo [SPC700], Karjam tries his usual spiel only for JIR-0 to call him out.
    JIR-0: How about you fuck off? You are not giving any sort of critique that actually helps, all you ever spout is the same thing that I see a lot in other videos that have your comments. You are one arrogant cunt, you're trying to make yourself look superior when you're only making a fool out of yourself.
    Karjam: So, you think what I say isn't helpful, huh? Please explain why.
    JIR-0: None of what your "criticism" applies to what Kulor's intention of this cover was supposed to be. It was just supposed to be a proof-of-concept that the SNES can be capable of making Genesis sounds with minimal drawbacks. No shit, sherlock, SNES will never do actual FM Synthesis, it's common knowledge. And when did I see this whole "it doesn't retain the original song's integrity or something" bullshit before? Oh yeah, multiple times. Most of them you were very vague about, not really putting a lot of depth into it. And when someone points out that you're not making it clear, or disagrees with you in an unaggressive manner, you come up with multitudes of petty excuses that you put into unnecessarily complicated vocabularies, as if you're a philosophist, to try and make yourself look superior. You're not as inhumanly wise as you think, and seeing that there had been lots of proof that you maintained that behaviour for years, it's of no use for me to continue talking to a brick wall.
    xg233: "My perspective is right, and anyone who says no is wrong." Ummm no that's what YOU are saying, mate. "When I ask you why, you just say that I am." When someone explains something to you, you can't go "why" again and then pretend it wasn't explained to you. It doesn't work like that.
    Karjam: Ah, the "No, you!" argument. If you really not trying to state that, you won't accuse the other of doing the exact same thing. My actions don't matter here, in either case. Rather, if you really weren't trying to say that, you'd at least try to explain why you aren't. You say you've already explained it to me, right? Well, I never said you didn't. What I actually stated was, what you actually gave me was quite vauge. I'm asking for the specifics here; for reasons that should be common sense, the specifics, the reason why you say these things, it's not the same thing as repeating yourself.
    xg233: I've been specific. You've just been too stupid to understand any of it.
    Karjam: Oh, really now. If I was so stupid, that means you weren't being so specific, for it means you failed to explain things in terms I would understand. That still technically counts as being vague.
    xg233: Even the most minute explanation in the world wouldn't enlighten someone without the capacity to understand it in the first place. I've been specific enough for any halfway sentient human being to understand what I was saying. The fact that you don't is no fault of mine.
    Karjam: Let me ask you something: Why are you calling me stupid? Is it because I don't "understand" what you have said?b Have you even forgotten what we were talking about? I sure hadn't. You were saying as to how I don't even understand the word "mimic". You explained as to the reason: "Exact is not a requirement for mimicry". I simply asked here why you say that. Blah. You currently care only for insulting me, quite forgetting that in order to prove that I am stupid, you need to counter what I have said, rather than insult me directly. You won't be convincing anyone with a sane mind otherwise, not even the others. Seriously, you're actually proving the point that you don't actually care for the argument, that you don't actually care for correcting me.
    xg233: You're like a toddler who keeps asking "why why why" after every new explanation, except since you're old enough to write, you have no business acting like a toddler. I'm not indulging you, that's all.
    Karjam: Well, then. You have no right to say that I'm wrong, since you never actually did say it to be the case. In fact, each any every single time I countered something, you kept saying less and less, until you have nothing else to cling onto but insukts. If I really was stupid, this would never have happened. Heck, I can tell you're just resorting to the insults because you, yourself, feel personally hurt. This proves my point that you were judging things on a subjective scale, rather than objective. Let me tell you something: All dictionaries agree the word "mimic" happens to be objective. Which means, if you were to judge whenever something mimics something, you're supposed to be judging things on an objective scale, rather than something subjective. This explains why "exact" is a requirement; anything less goes onto subjective teritory, a personal sense of taste. Seriously now, away with the insults. That just proves yourself to be incredibly childish, and besides, attempting to hurt someone when you, yourself, happens to be hurt won't cause it to be healed. You'd just be spreading it like a contagious virus.
    xg233: Enough of this shit. You don't accept reason (and you're too fucking stupid to understand it as your explanation of the dictionary definition once again proves), so we're done reasoning. Listen, I feel bad for you. Your entire "philosophy" is masturbatory nonsense, yet you keep pulling it out at every occasion thinking it's going to be the answer to everyone and everything. Someone else here already mentioned you've pulled this shit before. Nobody thinks you're smart. Everyone sees right through you, but you're too stuck in your own little self-congratulating world to see it. Your art looks like it's made by a 6-year-old and your music is just about the worst there is on youtube. You can't manage basic spelling and grammar. And the thing you pride yourself most on, your "philosophy", is laughable bullshit. And yet you go on youtube and forums, telling other people they don't know what they're doing. When people insult you, they're not "hurt" by you. They're just frustrated, like they would be frustrated at the village idiot. In this case I really, genuinely feel pity. You need to get professional help. If you do it now, maybe you'll have some semblance of a life before you grow up.
    • After Karjam tries to pick a fight with Kushagra, the latter had this to say:
    Kushagra: Even though I've said it like 50 gazillion times before, I'll say it once again. If you don't accept these explanations and try to refute them, even though they are logically correct and accepted by everyone else here, I'm going to forever consider you retarded.

    Belief in your thoughts is some random nonsense that sounds like it's supposed to make sense but doesn't actually do anything. Yes, I have beliefs. Yes, I have thoughts. Those two things are separate and have nothing to do with together.

    Trust has literally nothing to do with thoughts. You do not need to know music theory in order to be good at music (and vice versa). Yes, music theory helps you give your work a different perspective, but it is not necessary. Not everyone needs to be a learned scholar at something to be good at it.Do you really need to use that huge vocabulary? Acting, form, expression etc. Who cares? It's someone's work and they're making it in some way that they like. If they don't make it exactly how you want it, then piss off, it's their music and not yours.

    You just honestly proved that you're delusional by saying it yourself. Let me quote, "someone who invents a philosophy is an avid follower of it, the only way for this not to be so, being them disillusioned with the ideas that they formed" First of all, philosophies are not forcefully invented. It's like bodily functions. If you have to force a fart out, it's probably shit. Secondly, I've seen a grand total of 0 people actually adhering to your bogus philosophy. "To do so is very dangerous, since you will be changed in some manner." What in the actual world? Of course you're going to change! Change is good. It's natural. Are you also going to tell me that vaccines are bad and the earth is flat? Nothing survives without change - in fact, you're getting older with each second, so clearly you're being changed all the time.

    If you want proof of you covering your ears, just scroll up in this comment thread. "Ideas" "Teach" lol You don't teach. You force your ideas down people's throats when they don't want them and don't need them because it's not useful to them.

    Perception and Projection have only a few things in common, and that is the fact that they both start with P and end in -tion. The only person arguing here is you, because there's a difference between a discussion and an argument. In a discussion, people listen to each other and think about what points the other person has made. You are desperately trying to refute everything negative said about you, while not looking at any of the genuine criticism the others have provided.
    • Crimson himself decides to put in his two cents, regarding Karjam's appalling behaviour.
    Crimson Darkness SS: My ears are burning, are you talking about me?
    Karjam: Once off mention; an arguer apparently took an likening to your "Memejam" images, etc.
    Crimson Darkness SS: I'm glad someone appreciates my Memejams. That of course still doesn't change your less than stellar behaviour though.
    Karjam: Is my behavior even relevant here, even if less than stellar? Look, we're talking about the video here, not myself.
    Crimson Darkness SS: Oh dear, Karjam. As xg223 has pointed out, [[ Jerkass you're an arsehole who is rather dim.]] This comment stopped being about the video itself once you started up with your cultspeak.
    Karjam: Can you prove that? Claims such as this can only be proven with an explanation. No explanation, no proof, and you'd lost the claim.
    Crimson Darkness SSDude, come on. You're repeating yourself. Stop being so lazy and actually try for once. It's a wonder how you ever got into university, let alone graduate from school with that lackadaisical attitude.
    Karjam: Regardless, the only one with the name calling was xg223. He's the one who even started calling me names and the like, diverting attention from the topic and onto me, instead. Even with this fact in mind, it was still on topic; he was doing so for the purpose of trying to bring my words down. You, on the other hand, are just calling me a foolish jerk for no reason at all except to, well, insult me.
    Crimson Darkness SS: xg223 wasn't name calling, he was calling you out on your bullshit, much like every other person you force your cultesque beliefs on. But no, you have to be the victim. You have to be right, all the time. But you're neither of those things, in reality, you're just some brat with a God Complex, who would rather have his ego fed 24/7 than actually try to understand others.
  • In response to the #NoConfederate controversy, screenwriter Geoffrey Thorne gave one on Twitter to people trying to pressure artists not to make the art they want:
    Thorne: Listen. People. You can't let yourselves turn into thought police. A lot of folks have tried over the years to excise HUCK FINN from libraries and schools, even got so far as to create adaptations without the world Nigger in it. Yes. Nigger. I said it. I wrote it. Nigger. These people are, at best, misguided. They think the word Nigger has enough corruptive value to undercut the message of the book. Those people are wrong. At WORST they are fools and the dangerous, book burning sort of fool at that. Huckleberry Finn is and will likely remain one of if not THE greatest treatise AGAINST slavery and racial discrimination every written by a human being. But we wouldn't have that book now, not even to debate its merits, if people had access to twitter at the time of Twain's writing and someone had announced the book and its themes at the time. A segment of society would have destroyed its ability to be published and distributed. THAT segment would have been the racists, the ex-confedrates & worshippers of Jim Crow whose politics even now are a cancer in our Union. The purpose of our system is not to ensure that the ideas we LIKE are promoted and enshrined but that those we HATE, even the most loathsome are protected. The notion that an IDEA, in itself can hurt or harm anyone is specious, cancerous & anti-American. If we're about ANYTHING (and lately I'm not sure we are) it is that freedom, real freedom begins in the mind, in the ability of ANYONE to think or say or create anything, I mean ANYTHING, that comes to them, so long as that thing does no physical harm. Art physicalizes this notion. People have DIED for the right to dance, to write, to paint, to sing, to perform for create and not for political reasons but simply to be allowed to express themselves, simply for the right to be SEEN as they wish to be seen. Fascism is the enemy of that freedom and it is NOT the Right who ha sole ownership of the Fascist impulse. Far from it. Any one who believes their cause simply to be RIGHT, ABSOLUTELY PERFECTLY RIGHT, is millimeters away from becoming a fascist. It's that close and that easy. If we are to be right that is morally upstanding, occupying the ethical high ground, we must be consistent in our expression of the principles of freedom. Freedom of Expression requires that the expression be MADE. Once it's out there, that same freedom to express allows us to decry, deride and in any legal we like undercut a notion or expression we don't like. I HATED the entire concept and execution of GODS OF EGYPT, GIRLS and a host of other artistic creations (many of which are loved by millions, btw) but at no time did it EVER cross my mind that the people who made them should not be ALLOWED to do so. Should not be ALLOWED to think or express the things they wished.
  • In his review of Venus Wars, Bennett the Sage gives a fiery rant to the reporter Sue Sommers when she tries to force the protagonist Hiro Seno into continuing to allow her to report on the war by accusing him of sexism, especially since her constant need to be part of the action put the mission of his Killer Commandos at risk. He gets so pissed off at her that he halts the review for a full minute to scream at her from his closet.
    • Then, in his review of Very Private Lesson, Sage initially tries his best to resist the (deliberately) annoying Kusaya twins' antics, but he eventually hits his Rage Breaking Point when they refuse to shut up about wanting horrible things to happen to Aya. What follows is another minute-long rant tearing into the twins and explaining that while he has his reasons for hating other characters from his older reviews (Naru from Love Hina, Youichirou from Doomed Megalopolis, and Albee from A Wind Named Amnesia, to name a few), at least they had some sort of plot significance or excuse to justify their actions, and weren't just assholes for the sake of being assholes.
    Sage: Congratulations, ganguro girls. You are literally the worst! I curse the day you were conceived, and I hope that every bad thing that can happen in life happens to you two and ONLY you two! I'm sure you're proud of that. Now FUCK! OFF!
  • My Little Pony: Totally Legit Recap:
    • Maud gives one to the sleazy guy who conned her sister out her cannon:
    Maud: That belongs to my sister, give it back.
    Guy: Oh yeah, what you going to do about it?
    Maud: Nothing, you're a sleazy street grifter with obvious hormonal defitionsies, who cons people out of things that bring them joy amidst this nightmarish imprisonment of flesh we call existence. There is nothing I can do that would make your life worse, you absolute abortion of a person.
    • DWK (the creator and narrator) gives a couple to Sweetie Belle in "On Your Marks" for... being optimistic and confident about her life, instead of a miserable pessimist:
    DWK: You know she's thinking "I'm not good at this, but I'm going to keep trying till I get better and it's going to be so much fun." you fucking tiny horses with your relentless positivity and your self-esteem, just try it once fail, quit forever, and feel ashamed like a normal person.
    [later]
    Sweetie Belle: You don't have to be good at something to have fun.
    DWK: And I'm like, no goddammit Sweetie Belle, you don't have to be good at something to have fun, you have some kind of weird inherent sense of self-worth and confidence, normal people don't have that, if I'm not good at something, I fucking hate myself.
    • The CMC give one to the adults for running the Elementary school cart race:
    CMC: You know what, fuck you guys! We just asked for your help, so we could have some fun and you made it about you. It's always about you guy, you're a bunch of self-important control freaks and you fucked up everyone's day, because you couldn't contain your massive egos.
    • Applebloom calmly and politely points out how incompetent as parents, a couple her and the rest of the CMC were hired help are in Season six episode nineteen (Not even counting that they go to twelve year olds for parenting advice):
    Applebloom: Have you ever like, met your daughter?
    father: What do you mean?
    Applebloom: Oh I don't know, I mean I'm an orphan myself, so what do I know. Right? But generally I get this impression that when people have kids, they sometimes you know, talk to them. Like hay child I gave birth to, what's going on with you? Got any hobbies? Crazy as it sounds, some of these people-their called parents by the way-um, actually do this on a regular bases, so when the child say, I don't know goes through some kind of personal right of passage, that essentially determines what she's going to be doing for the rest of her life, they can be like; "Oh hay, props on being good at that thing that you like, we totally know about." Now I'm not knocking you guys or anything, I'm sure you've got lots of dinner parties, wine tastings, and school reunions to go to and I mean priorities, right? But do you recall ever having a passing conversation with your daughter, that didn't revolve around who's taking care of her for the evening?
    Sweetie Bell: To put that more succinctly, you're shitty people.
    Applebloom: That's what I was going for.
    DWK: Oh Trixie, you talk such a big game and act like such a badass, but when shit gets real you scream like a little girl and toss away your last shred of dignity like a used profalatic. No wonder you wanted to kill yourself, after having one fight with Starlight. You literally have nothing else.
    • Twilight gives one to Sunset Shimmer at the end of Equestria Girls, while also trying to talk her down:
    Twilight: Dude, you need to grow up man, this is retarded and you know it.
    Sunset: But I am grown up Twilight, that's why it's so easy for me to manipulate these vapid clueless teenagers and now that I have my own personal army of impressionable young people, I'll have emotional validation for the rest of my life.
    Twilight: Bro, these kids right here are more mature than you are. Listen up you dumb whore, becoming an adult is not about a number. It doesn't magically happen when you reach a certain age. It happens when stop being a selfish tool and realize there are more important things in this world than your stupid little feelings. I'm fucking terrified about being a princess, but I'm just going to fucking do it, because the world doesn't revolve around my emotions.
    • After Big Mac and Feather Bangs' failed attempts at wooing her end in disaster, Sugar Belle really tares into them.
      Sugar Belle: Hey! Country Freestyle is not a fucking genre, you yokel piece of shit! And you! You Justin Beever-ass motherfucker, you must be a fucking pedophile, because no girl over fourteen would want to fuck you, after hearing that shit! Now both of you, fuck off!
  • When covering the worst videos he has commentated on, YouTube commentator Akriloth2160 gives one to Shaclone for attempting to deflect blame for getting banned from League of Legends due to his attitude
    It's one thing to behave badly enough to get banned from League, it's quite another thing to show clear irresponsibility for the audience you have garnered and spread frequently debunked misinformation about what you are talking about, including several laughable conspiracy theories that even anyone with a shred of experience of the player behavior forums would laugh you out the room for saying; and it's even more of another thing to be so insecure about your own position on the matter that your immediate instinct on being called out on said misinfomation is to abuse YouTube's easily-fooled copyright system to pursecute someone that you could be better off simply ignoring if they really were that lower down than you. Hell, this video was such a cavalcade of chicanery and arrogance, I'd put it this high even if he didn't try to censor me, this video makes me that genuinely angry. And that's leaving the side of throwing a tantrum at me on Twitter and lying even further about "cyber-mobbing". Funny story, I checked the comments on Shaclone's video immediately as he said that and do you want to know how many people from my audience were in the comments section? ONE! Okay, leaving aside that I have never, ever professed to condone the idea of internet witchhunts, if your idea of cyber-mobbing amounts to one neutral comment that simply links you to my video and nothing else; it's pretty safe to say that there are far more things wrong with you as a person than not being able to use the chatroom in an online game anymore; unless there's something I'm missing here but the only way I could be missing something if you also had a habit of deleting comments that are critical of you and if that's what's happening, you're really not helping your cause. League of Legends has long since re-expanded its punishment options back out to including bans and you know what? Shaclone is still as insufferable as ever. Hell, I recently did a search on his name in order to catch up on what people generally think of him and suffice to say, from the occasional thread I've read on the guy, yeah, he's still quite the scumbag.
  • Well-known Let's Player Chuggaaconroy gave one to the Water Dragon, Faron, in regards to her Designated Heroism and Insane Troll Logic.
    So, the Water Dragon is all "okay, we need to test you to make sure that you are a hero". Nevermind the fact that you saw that we had the Master Sword on you and you’re like — your first reaction was "oh, I see you’re the real deal." Nevermind that, no. So that’s apparently not enough. Nevermind that you know about Fi, you know about the goddess, you know about the events going on in the world right now; none of that matters. You still feel the need to test us about this because apparently, that is not enough. And your test involves us going around, having to swim through an area that we have already gone through numerous times; we know this place like the back of our hand now! It’s not anything new, it’s just — it’s covered with water and… has tons and tons of collectibles thrown about all around it. That’s all bad, definitely! But you also consider the fact that our first dealing with this character involved us, I don’t know, SAVING HER LIFE?! We did not leave her there to die; we instead went through the first dungeon again to find her the sacred water that we needed, and on top of saving her life we also had saved her forest before from Ghirahim, and also saved the lake that she does her ruling from over these woods! Again, that is apparently not enough for the water dragon! And when that was our last dealing with her, unless you count the time where we had to backtrack in order to get that water basin from her, you realize that every dealing we have ever had with this character is padding! No two ways about it; had to go through the first dungeon again, have to go through this area again, saving your life is not enough to just give us the Song of the Hero, and for what? This test has been set up for us by flooding the entire woods to get rid of the monsters. There’s the fact that all of these trees are going to die; they’ve been overwatered. You know, you ever think about that. You’ve made all the Kikwis (who worship you, by the way) completely homeless, so you’re an absolute terrible deity to them. And people tell me that I’m very meticulous when researching these games and just kinda knowing things about ‘em and stuff like that and the things that I think to go, you know, find out and all that? People tell me I’m meticulous about that. Well, I feel so passionately about my disdain for the Water Dragon and about how everything she makes you do is padding that I have actually gone out of my way to count that before she flooded these woods, they were inhabited with three Moblins, six Blue Bokoblins, and two Red Bokoblins which, by the way, we saw that one of those Blue Bokoblins was still alive on that tree, the two Red Bokoblins were, and a new one had actually joined their ranks. So… you thought this was the best way to kill eleven enemies, and this was the way to treat not only the woods that you’re protecting, but the Kikwis that worship you. All because, in your own words, "it was the easiest way to do it"! This is the biggest load of bull I have ever seen from any deity in my entire time doing these things, and that saying a lot because I’ve played Xenoblade.
  • A reviewer named FilmMasterAdam gives one to Sony in regards to Ghostbusters (2016) by pointing out that denigrating the men into assholes just to make the women look good defeats the purpose of promoting equality, and that the real misogynists should go screw themselves for insulting and harassing the cast of the movie online.
  • In the RWBY episode "Haven's Fate", Yang gloriously tears apart her own mother Raven for being a Dirty Coward:
    Yang: [...]So tell me: what happened to the last Spring Maiden? Did she die in battle? Was it sickness?
    Raven: (beat) What does it matter to you?
    Yang: (Realization dawning) I can already see the answer. It's all over your face. How could you?!
    Raven: She was scared when we found her. Weak. No matter how much training I put her through, she never learned! She wasn't cut out for this world and with those powers, she would have been hunted her entire life! What I did...
    Yang: (mocking) "Wasn't personal".
    Raven: It was mercy!
    Yang: Which is it, mom: are you merciful or are you a survivor? Did you let me walk into that trap because you knew I could handle it or because then you can get what you wanted?
    Raven: It's not that simple. You don't know me. You don't know what I've been through, the choices I had to make!
    Yang: You're right. I don't know you. I only know the Raven dad told me about. "She was troubled... and complicated... but she fought for what she believed in wether it was for her team or her tribe"! Did you kill her too?
    Raven: (breaking) I have stared death in the face over and over again and every time I've spat in that face and survived because I'm strong enough to do what others won't!
    Yang: Oh, shut up! You don't know the first thing about strength! You turn your back on people, you run away when things get too hard, you put people in harm's way instead of yourself! You might be powerful... but that doesn't make you strong.
    Raven: Who do you think you are, lecturing me?! Standing there, shaking like a little girl!
    Yang: Yeah, I'm scared... but, I'm still standing here! I'm not like you: I won't run. Which is why you are going to give me the Relic.
    Raven: And why would I—?
    Yang: Because you're afraid of Salem! And if you thought having Maiden Powers put a target on your back, imagine what she would do if she found out you have a Relic? She'll came after you with everything she has... or she'll come after me. And I'll be standing there, waiting for her.
    Raven: ...you don't want to do this, Yang...
    Yang: Nope. But, I'm gonna do it anyway.
  • Near the middle of ShogunGin0's review of Katy La Oruga, he gives an initially level-headed but progressively more angry dressing-down to the film (and by extension its creator, Silvia Roche) for its hypocritical moralizing and especially an anti-war message positing that humans go to war purely due to stupdity:
    What are you trying to teach children? I ask that question reluctantly because I hate that question. It's a question most commonly asked by paranoid moral crusader soccer-moms, afraid that any exposure to anything remotely sexual, violent or ethically ambiguous will cause children to turn to the dark side, leaving nothing but a future of teenage pregnancies, incarcerations, overdoses and worst of all, questioning their parents' judgment. But I feel justified in asking that question, because you are very clearly trying to teach children something. Virtually everything up until this point has been a moral lesson handled with all the grace and dignity of an afterschool PSA. Now look at what you've done since Katy got to the city. You criticize construction and demolition of buildings simply for being noisy, unlike the peaceful, idyllic countryside, I guess. You criticize the use of animals as beasts of burden, without bringing into question how well the animals may be treated. And now, when you have a chance to bring up the topic of international trade, the only goods you feel worth mentioning are weapons. Not a single other commodity is brought up. Are you trying to imply that the only things that humans build and ship to one another are weapons? What about food, what medicine, what about electronic components, books, raw materials, anything that doesn't make human life seem like a complete shithole? Nope, the only things humans focus on is who to kill next. Is that what you are trying to teach children? To have such a pessimistic and misanthropic view of how the people of the world treat each other.

    And how hypocritical is it to criticize city life and idealize the country, when the only reason this movie exists in the first place is because of one of the most powerful media producers in Mexico, with writers called in from one of the most powerful media producers in the world? And I'm sure the animation studio in Spain that you guys hired out was a decent facility that also needed a few power tools in order to be built, so that they could animate the crap that you sent them. The first time I saw this movie, I was doubtful I would have enough material to make a decent video. But the second I saw this scene, I stopped the movie out of disgust, and I knew I was going to make a video about it. I had tolerated the previous attempts to preach to children, although with annoyance, but this was where I drew the line. This... painful oversimplification of human relations and more or less stating that the main reason humans go to war is not because of complex sociopolitical circumstances strained to the breaking point, but because "they're not that smart", nothing more. Because, it's true that most kids are too young to understand the intricacies that lead to war. Hell, even most adults don't understand them. So maybe it's a topic you shouldn't have even touched, you clearly seem ill-equipped mentally to explain it.

    Have you ever known a parent who's very quick to scold and nag their kids and because they're so quick to do so they never think about what they're going to say, and it's really easy to point out contradictions and poor reasonings in what they say? The kind of parent who says "if they jumped off a bridge, would you do it do?" in complete sincerity? The kind of parent less focused on being correct and more focused on being right, if you catch my meaning? That's the kind of woman I believe Silvia Roche is, or at least used to be. You can't teach children when you yourself have a dim grasp of human nature, you can't teach children when you call in experts and use them basically like yes men, instead of actually consulting them to improve your product, and you can't teach children when you're a hypocrite who regularly benefits from the exact same society that you callously criticize with all the talent of a middle-school fanfiction writer! (laughing deliriously) And if that's not clear enough for you, Silvia, allow me to put it into words that I think you can probably understand better... NO! ME! GUSTA!
  • In Starter Squad episode 5, Squirtle delivers one to Charmander about his lack of training skills after Bulbasaur gets caught by a trainer. It's this conversation that causes Charmander to learn empathy (somewhat).
    Charmander: Where's Bulbasaur?
    Squirtle: The human took him.
    Charmander: What?! H-He can't do that!
    Squirtle: I told you Pokémon can't be trainers!
    Charmander: Eh, you tell me a lot of things; none of them matter. Now come on, we're going back for him!
    Squirtle: Oh, and what're we gonna do? Attack them head-on?
    Charmander: Uh, that's an order Squirtle.
    Squirtle: You're just gonna get killed again.
    Charmander: MOVE!
    Squirtle: No! I'm tired of this!
    Charmander: I am your trainer! You have to listen to me! Bulbasaur is my property and we are going back to get him!
    Squirtle: And why should I listen to you, huh? What're you gonna do, hit me?
    Charmander: Yes. *backhands him*
    Squirtle: What makes you think you're qualified to train us? Huh? You have no idea what you're doing!
    Charmander: Excuse me? I am the—
    Squirtle: The what? Strongest? Most "experienced?" It takes more than that to lead, fire-face! All you do is use force to get your way, and you don't know anything else! Bulbasaur is with a real trainer now, and I'm happy for him because he's on a team! Not a dictatorship!
    *Charmander breathes fire in Squirtle's face, to no avail*
    Squirtle: Yeah, that's not very effective. Geez, at least learn the basics!
  • DSBT InsaniT: Killer gives Portica one after she makes a snide remark about Killdra's song in 'The Camping Webisode'.
    Killer: Who the HELL do you think you are?! My sister has a hidden talent that no one ever expected and you spout something like THAT?! Your trash, utter trash!
  • Dreamscape: In 'Confronting the Dark', Betty gives a very foul-mouthed one to Melissa to snap her out of her Freak Out! about fighting Melinda being all in vain.
    Betty: Shut. The fuck. UP! Geez, you are SOOOOO fucking annoying! You think there is no way to stop her, you think this is hopeless, you think we are a bunch of dumbasses who are on a white knight mission to our deaths! We ask you for an idea and your cocky-ass goes on some cocky-ass rant on how we're cocky-asses against a cocky-ass witch with a cocky-ass plan that won't cocky-ass WORK! Hey guys, how about we just stand here with our thumbs up our cocky-asses?! At least THEN we won't piss off your highness right here!
    • She gets another one later on in that episode, this time from Keedran after Melissa presses her Berserk Button.
    Keedran: "Massive abomination" am I?! Just who the hell do you think you are talking to?! I could erase your puny judgmental smug self off the face of existence if I so desired! I've been seen as a ruthless monster by humanity for thousands of lifetimes just because I'm not some soft-spoken serene babe or some gruff and tough asskicker! I have to take some gaudy 'true form' JUST so humanity won't piss themselves and form a mob by the mere SIGHT of me! Yet despite all of that, I continue to protect the lives of everyone in this world! I look past their judgmental hearts, swallow my petty and bitter feelings of them, and I vanquish threats like the Overlord of Evil or soon-to-be Melinda! Why? Because
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/TheReasonYouSuckSpeech/WebOriginal