The Reason You Suck Speech / Webcomics

Examples of "The Reason You Suck" Speech in webcomics.

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• The Mario fan-comic The 3 Little Princesses has Rosalina giving scathing speeches to Peach and Daisy for their behavior and the mess they put her through during their sleepover. At first, she tries to hold in her anger, but as time passed and she found the Cosmic Duct tape she needed to fix her ship to get home in Peach's bathroom cabinet, she had enough of it. She basically told Peach she was the most obnoxious person she ever met and the way she acted contradicted with how she was suppose to act: a good ruler of the Mushroom Kingdom. She also lambasted Daisy by saying she has no self-esteem of her own, supposedly rules over Sarasaland (which she described as a kingdom that nobody heard of to the point of doubting its existence), and calling her loud and how she "expresses herself like a Spanish cow."
• 8-Bit Theater: Black Mage is on the receiving end of a lot of these, ranging from White Mage telling him that she likes Ranger more than him because Ranger has morals, personal hygiene and friends, to Sarda telling the entire party that they're all selfish monsters who need to die for the good of everyone else. (Except Fighter. He's a casualty.)
• In Atomic Laundromat, Angela asks Juno, which whom she has a very contentious relationship, why she spent the past few minutes helping her learn how to safely use the mutagen she stole so she doesn't kill herself, rather than attempt to talk her out of trying to give herself powers. Juno points out she's too stubborn to bother talking her out of the dumb idea, which Angela denies. This leads to a short back-and-forth in which Juno is pushed to give her undiluted opinion of her employer's girlfriend which Angela is unable to refute.
  Okay, fine. You are an egotistical, obsessive person who will get what she wants, no matter who or what she needs to trample to get it. You are obsessed with getting powers because - and feel free to stop me if I'm wrong - of your wish to both settle a score with someone or something that slighted you in the past - I'm betting somewhere in your childhood - and also because a seer like me warned you of something in the future that you are trying to stop with your newfound powers. You are nothing but a scared little girl getting squeezed by both her past and future.
• Aurora: Kendal delivers one to Zuurith while Zuurith isn't even present, remarking on how Zuurith is breaking his alleged principles to deal with Kendal because at his core, it's not justice he cares about, it's control.
• In Bad Machinery, French exchange student Mimi Broussard gives a presentation on her hometown of La Rochelle to her class of British students and fellow exchange students from La Rochelle:
  La Rochelle is a dump. The people are idiots. The kids at my school dream of getting a boring job and marrying someone beautiful and stupid. They will buy houses there, have idiot babies, and create a town ever more stupid. I cannot wait to leave. Fortunately, due to our fine social democracy, there is a well-maintained road out of town. Vive la France!
• The Bikini Bottom Horror has Spongebob giving one to The Tortured One/Patty-rick in regards to his actions:
  Spongebob: What was done to you was monstrous, but what you have allowed yourself to become is worse. I will stop you.
• Bittersweet Candy Bowl: Mike gives this to Lucy in 'December' after he thinks that she is reverting back to her old ways. She's not but you can tell it was something that had been stewing in Mike for a long time.
• In the Chick Tract "Four Angels", Henry gives a surprisingly vicious one to his older brother Charlie (especially considering that most of Chick's Christians are polite and docile almost to a fault), suggesting that his adultery means that he is beyond redemption, and that he's a false Christian and enemy of God.
• In Concerned, Norman gives one to his brother Gordon after Gordon complains about Norman "shoving him" to save him from danger, showing that Gordon's too stupid to realize that Norman has been saving his life since they were children.
  Norman: For the last time... I didn't push you. I saved you. And if you're too stupid to realize that, then it's pretty damn obvious I shouldn't have even bothered. You're not worth saving. You're not worth anything. You... are worthless. I should have let you die.
  (Gordon stares at him)
  Norman: Oh, what's this? Did your face register a brief flicker of comprehension? Amazing. Did something get through to that tiny pea brain of yours? It's about time. Rise and shine, Gordon. You're not a doctor. You're not a hero. You're a helpless dope. Truth hurts. Life sucks. But it's time to wake up... and smell the ashes.
  Gordon: *sniffle*
  Norman: You need to cry? Fine. Take a minute. Take five. When you're done, join me in the real world.
• In Cucumber Quest, Nautilus rips "Count Legato" a new one after he accidentally breaks her cellphone/Instrument of Summoning. She refuses to continue the self-insert play he forced them into—in which he cast her as the love interest—calls him a creep, and says that this is why he can't get anyone to like him, reducing him to tears and causing his magic contact lens to fall out.
• Deer Me features a yearly comic convention arc, one of which was made especially tense due to the usual crew being accompanied by a Jerkass otter with Ungrateful Bastard tendencies. Eventually, he pushes it too far and finally gets called out for his behavior.
  Viana: As for you, you irritating, whiny, obnoxious, annoying, overbearing, selfish, self-centered, arrogant, and rude jerk, start appreciating when people do you favors or get used to being left on the side of the road! And don't try to give me attitude! I have more attitude just deciding whether I want syrup or jam on my pancakes!
• In Deviants of Art has a rather short explanation the character Slite gives off to minor villain Jackler, saying simply that he's completely outclassed by other villains and is not much of a threat in the grand scheme of things.
• One of the Dragon Doctors usually gives one to the villain of the arc. I.e., Mori to Udo in chapter 9, and Sarin to Elizabeth in chapter 10.
• Dumbing of Age:
  • Right when Joyce is having an epiphany in the middle of Leslie's class, Roz lashes out at her. She points out that Joyce was quite the fundamentalist up until now, acts very sarcastic about her realization, and calls her out when Joyce criticizes the church, saying bluntly that she was a part of the problem. She also takes a jab at Dorothy, saying that she enabled Joyce's ignorance.
  • When Joyce runs out of the classroom in tears as a result of this, Leslie (briefly) calls out Roz for being hypocritical. She says that the whole point of a Gender Studies class is to learn, so Roz being angry at Joyce about her past beliefs isn't helpful, especially now that Joyce understands why she was wrong.
    Roz: So Joyce just gets a pass for ignoring and shouting over gay people for the first eighteen years of her life?
    Leslie: ...said the straight girl to the gay girl who's been asking her to shut up for the past five minutes.
  • Just as Ruth starts trying to redeem herself for her past bullying, previously minor character Rachel wades into her with a brutal dismissal of the entire concept of redemption. It's harsh, misguided, and potentially dangerous to several bystanders — but it's also a formidable corrective to the idea of an Easily Forgiven villain.
• In El Goonish Shive, Susan delivers one to Tom after he tries to justify his manipulative tendencies by saying everyone tells white lies.
• Defied in Erma. Emiko, pissed that her father Osamu is trying to act like a kind person and that the past never happened, attempts to give one of these by going down the long list of all the ways he was not only horribly abusive to Emiko and the rest of her siblings but also her husband Sam. As soon as she's done speaking, he not only reminds her just how overwhelmingly powerful he still is but drops the bombshell that she and Sam never actually defeated him all those years ago. He discovered where they were and where they were going the day after they escaped, and could have easily destroyed their happy little suburban life with their daughter Erma at any point in the past decade. He doesn't care if she (or the rest of siblings, for that matter) forgives him or not because, frankly, he's still their father regardless. He happily bids her a good night, while she spends both the immediate aftermath and most of the following day in a Thousand-Yard Stare.
• In Exiern, Tiffany gives one to the entire assembled court after they were about to let Coriander (A Corrupt Church leader outed as a pedophile) walk away free due to Loophole Abuse (an escape he cuts short after resigning his position within the royal court and castrating Coriander).:
  Tiffany: If the Alliance thinks that squabbling over arcane traditions and legal loopholes, while a provable child molester walks away, is civilization, then you have all failed at it. Miserably. My people, who you call savages, know better. This is not a land of reason, it is institutionalized madness, and I'll have no part in it.
• In Fate/Gamers Only: Rikku delivers a lengthy and vicious one of these to Jason upon meeting him in Okeanos, calling him out on his spoiled-brat narcissism, on how the gods gave everything to him on a silver platter, on taking the credit for the Argonauts' heroics for his own, and about how he used Medea, who loved him, and then threw her away when she was no longer useful to him. Her speech is so vicious that pretty much everyone with her, including Da Vinci and Roman back in Chaldea, is in complete shock at the sheer menace and hatred in her voice, as well as being deemed as going a little bit too far by a number of the fanbase. It also ends up pissing off Jason enough to send Heracles after the group.
  Jason: So disrespectful. My name should be called with awe and worship.
  Rikku: "Awe and worship?!" I think you mean "contempt and derision!" God damn it, of all the useless, sub-human, selfish, greedy Greek "heroes", why the hell did our enemy have to be Jason?!
  Jason: —Hah?!
  Rikku: What, are those slabs of cartilage on the sides of your head just for decoration?! Ah, wait, I forgot: of course they are! You probably never listened to anything anyone tried to tell you if it wasn't exactly what you wanted to hear. You never worked a day in your f*ckin' life! In fact, you make Blackbeard look like an upstanding, hardworking citizen! In order for you to be king, Hera first set things up so that you would be given a task from the uncle who usurped the throne, and then gathered the Argonauts. Throughout the whole voyage, all the great feats you took credit for were done by the Argonauts, not you! In Colchis, you couldn't even be bothered to try the tasks the king gave you! In fact, Hera arranged things with Aphrodite so that the king's daughter, Medea, would be compelled to love you. Because of that, she helped you steal the Fleece. She even killed her own brother for you! And how did you thank her?! When she was of no further use to you, you told Medea that she didn't deserve any thanks from you, because Medea's love for you was due to Aphrodite, and you threw her away! You're no hero. Hell, you're not even an anti-hero. You're just scum! You never should have left a mark on history, but the gods favored you! Honestly, I bet the reason they favored you was because they were bored and wanted to watch a comedic tragedy! Death is too good for the likes of you. If I could, I'd rip you to pieces with my bare hands. Slowly. Starting with your toes and fingers, and make you watch the entire time.
• It’s a recurring theme in Get Schooled. Most arcs end on a high note with an epic call-out on the baddies.
  • The wardens of the Teacher's Rights Protection Agency (TRPA) will always reprimand schoolyard bullies over what horrible monsters they are and call them out over how they abuse their victims, often while delivering a No-Holds-Barred Beatdown. When the bullies refuse to get the message and karma ends up biting them in the ass, the wardens point out what their horrible actions led to and tell them that they have only themselves to blame.
  • Not even adult bullies are immune to this. Whether it be a Sadist Teacher or Abusive Parent, the wardens will always tell them off over the treatment of their defenseless and underage victims, while at the same time dishing out A Taste of Their Own Medicine.
• General Protection Fault:
  • Ki goes to speak with Patty on Dexter's behalf, as he had been seeking to reconcile with her after the Bog of Bloodbath incident (which Ki acknowledges was a mistake on his part). When Patty proves unwilling to bend, Ki responds by telling her that her negative and caustic personality is driving people away from her, and Dexter shouldn't bother with her.
  • Nick to his counterpart after Nega-Nick laughs at Ki's love for Nick.
    Nick: What I see in her, Emperor, is a noble heart, a fiery spirit, and a love deeper than I could hope to imagine. All things you could never understand. All you know is deceit and treachery, how to use others and throw away what remains. I've been used before, and it sickens to see that trait in myself... in you, the mirror of what I could become. But it also reminds me that our choices are not absolute. People can change. Choices can change. So I'm giving you a choice. End this now. Let me and my friends go.
  • Trudy gets several back-to-back ones in a dream from Ki, Fooker, Dr. Nefarious, Todd, Chuck, and her future self, telling her that she has betrayed everyone close to her and the consequences of her actions will catch up with her.
  • In the flashback arc about Ki's relationship with Sam, Fooker gives Ki a brief one after she denies highly credible rumors of Sam cheating on her, calling her out on being a Love Martyr for Sam and making excuses for his poor treatment of her.
    Fooker: What's wrong with you? Are you sure you're the same chick who crunched my boys? Sam treats you like dirt. He ignores you, he walks all over you, and when half the campus says he cheated on you, you defend him!
• In Girl Genius, Tarvek enacts Extreme Mêlée Revenge against Zola all while explaining exactly why:
  ENOUGH! ENOUGH! You vicious, poisonous remnant of my stupid family's stupid interference —, with your stupid schemes and your stupid backstabbing plots — I have lost my castle! My muses! My town! My hand is revealed to those bastard! Upstart! Wulfenbachs! You and Lucrezia have done nothing but destroy my life and my plans, and now you're trying to destroy the one bright spot I have left— AND THAT I WILL NOT PERMIT!
• Girls with Slingshots delivers one to the antagonistic Candy the Carnivore about her hatred for Maureen, especially after the latter marries Jameson. Hilariously, this is delivered by Clarice the dominatrix. She blows it off on the basis that "I'm Jameson's friend, not yours", so Jameson gives her one too. This one hits a little harder because up until now she's been deluding herself into thinking that her vitriolic pranks were harmless japes that Maureen is just too sensitive to appreciate, and then finally she pushes Jameson to the breaking point and he tells her in no uncertain terms that she's not his friend, and in fact, she's more like the exact opposite of a friend, and he's beginning to have honest doubts that she ever was what one would qualify as a "friend".
• Julian in The Guide to a Healthy Relationship is suffering from hallucinations, their younger selves or their reflection constantly telling him how worthless and inept they are and that Julian should just finally kill themselves. After years of living with horrendous mental conditions, Julian has learned to mostly ignore this, but that doesn't make it any less awful.
• In Guilded Age, Scipio gives Rachel one after her former sisters poison Frigg and kidnap E-merl.
  Scipio: Faith's your strength, but your prayers are lacking muscle lately.[...]Which endangers us all. Didn't know you cared so little about us.
  Rachel: I care everything for you! You are my broth- comrades! You let me do works of good and greatness!
  Scipio: And yet we mean no more to you than anyone else.
  Rachel: Of course you do!
  Scipio: So "loving all others equally" is actually impossible. Sounds good on parchment, but you never practiced that doctrine. Ever. You just made it an excuse when kissing E-merl got too scary. And now he's about to be hunted to death. I can't save him on my own. You love us? Fuckin' prove it.
• In this Heartstopper strip, Nick delivers a two-for-one speech to both his absentee father Stéphane, on one of his rare visits, and to his homophobic bully of an older brother David, who was about to out Nick and his boyfriend Charlie to their father at the dinner table.
  Nick: (to Stéphane) I'm bisexual, he's gay, I'm surprised you haven't worked it out from how much I talk about him on the phone! I've been stressing out about how to tell you for months, you know what? I honestly don't care what you think! You don't even care enough to see us more than once a year! (to David) And you!
  David: ...
  Nick: My whole life, you've tried to bully me into hating myself, just because you hate yourself. Well, it's not working! I like how I am. I like my life! So why don't you fuck off and focus on your own problems.
• In Henchgirl, Coco gives Mary a short, but harsh, one before Mary tries to kill Amelia. “She (Amelia) isn't the one who's ruined your life. Think about it logically. You ruined your *own* life.” Ouch.
• Homestuck:
  • Karkat may be a violent, bitter Jerkass but even he is disgusted with Vriska's Chronic Backstabbing Disorder, and calls her out for it here. He also points out how Vriska can't even manipulate others without resorting to forceful Mind Control; Vriska's retaliation at the end only proves his point!
  • Doc Scratch gives her another one later on in the series.
  • Jade of all people delivers a rather brutal one to Karkat here, harshly criticizing him for his horrible treatment of others, including himself (due to the time travel aspects involved). What's even better is that Karkat's future self (who had already apologized to Jade) joins in to criticize present Karkat also, and they start bickering, effectively proving Jade's point! Better still, both Karkats are moved by the same discussion, meaning Jade's tirade affected Karkat twice!! Later, present Karkat admits he was a jerk, but defends his tendency to call out his other selves, since it means that he realizes and admits his own mistakes. Jade accepts the apology.
  • Karkat later gives another one to Eridan, or rather, his past self, after he kills Feferi and Kanaya. Of course, since the Eridan he's talking to is weeks in the past, he not only has no clue what Karkat's talking about but also thinks Karkat is hitting on him.
  • And later Jane, having hit her Rage Breaking Point, has delivered one to Jake, chewing him out for being self-centered and thoughtless.
  • Vriska delivers one to her alternate self who was killed by Terezi and has been hanging in the afterlife since about how much of a loser she is. Unlike the other examples, she's completely unjustified and resorting to schoolyard bully-level insults, and the whole point of doing so is to feel better about herself. Ultimately, the speech only serves to show what a selfish egomaniac the main Vriska is.
  • In the sequel, Homestuck: Beyond Canon, Terezi lays into Dirk and Rose for being boring to be around, to the point where they're on a completely untouched planet, things to see and do that no-one has ever seen or done before...and Dirk and Rose have holed up in a cave to contemplate their navels and swap philosophy puns.
• Inanimate Experiments: After getting captured and tortured by Testtube, OJ gives this to Salt.
  OJ: You know what!? We wouldn't be here if it wasn't you! You should've listened!
  Salt: W-what?
  OJ: YEAH! It's YOUR fault! You follow me around like a dog but couldn't even listen when it was IMPORTANT!
• Katamari has Ace give such a speech to the Prince and the Future!Prince, who have been busily gathering allies to prevent the Bad Future. Of course, this is Ace projecting, rather than giving an accurate assessment of our hero.:
  Ace: Back to your old tricks again, Prince? Let me guess... there's a crisis, and you're trying to be The Hero, right? And now you've made two of yourself so that you can take twice the credit. Typical Prince. Can't share the spotlight with anyone but himself. If you were really concerned with saving the day instead of inflating your own ego, you'd look for help from the one guy around here who can actually get the job done: ME. I'm sure you were trying to keep this whole thing a secret so I wouldn't outshine you. Luckily for whoever is in danger, you can't leave me behind, because I'm always one step ahead! So what do you think, Prince? Are you willing to admit your arrogance, set aside your vanity for once, and ask me for help?
• Kill Six Billion Demons: Allicio and White Chain slam each other with these during their fight in the King of Swords arc. White Chain accuses Allison of being no better than the Demiurges they fight - just another power-crazed thug misusing their Key - while Allicio calls White Chain out on her inflexibility, her attitude, and her Control Freak habits.
  White Chain: At every chance, you act without consideration. You seek power without thought. Try as I might, I cannot make you escape your nature. You are not a savior, or a victim! You are merely one more of the ruiners of Heaven - of those who seek to choke this world with their own ambition. I name you as you are - DEMIURGE!
  [Some Supernatural Martial Arts later]
  Allicio: You're so afraid of your code. Afraid of your "brothers". Afraid of yourself...I couldn't have made it this far without your training...but you weren't even paying attention. You're so obsessed with controlling everything that you can't even see that we might actually win.
  White Chain: AND THEN WHAT? Would you return the Key to the rightful heir? You? You, whose only talent is violence? You will not listen. You will not do the right thing. So I will make the decision for you.
  [Several more pages of Supernatural Martial Arts and yelling at each other later]
  Allicio: The shell tha keepst around thee...it's more than stone. And that's coming from both of us. You'll never learn, you'll never change, and you'll never admit to yourself who you really are. You can't even cheat at cards. What chance do you have?
• Las Lindas has Tiare finally deliver a much needed T.R.Y.S.S to Creator's Pet Miles on page 273.
• The Last Days of FOXHOUND:
  • Although almost entirely offscreen, Sniper Wolf's speech deserves a mention because it is such a literal example.
    Sniper Wolf: (to Ocelot) ... and zat's ze sixty-seventh reason you suck.
  • We also have this one from Big Boss during Liquid's near-death experience after being stabbed through by the Cyborg Ninja.
    Big Boss: You should've seen that coming, you know. You always were inferior. Not your fault, really. You were made that way. The leftovers from the process of creating my true successor. Deny it all you like, you're just not the right stuff - literally. Everyone sees it except you.
    Ocelot: Liquid, you're an idiot, and your mom is an ugly whore.
    Mantis: You suck so hard a black hole couldn't escape you.
    Wolf: I alvays thought zat level of incompetence vould be hard to achieve, but you make it look so easy!
    Ninja: you wouldn't last five seconds against me in a fight.
    Big Boss: Would you hurry up and die already? Watching your life flash before your eyes is just depressing the hell out of me. Just give up. You're too weak.
• Lovely People: Peony gives one to her "friends" on Tooter when they denounce her for posting anti-Alizongle messages, while recording an "apology video" as requested.
  "WHAT?!! You think you're BETTER than me!?! Oh, you're SUUUUCH good people! You're TOOOTALLY not fakers like I am! You totally weren't my "friends" because my score was good, and you didn't abandon me as soon as it went down! You know who wouldn't have abandoned me? My BEST FRIENDS, who I totally abandoned! Also, you wanna know what I really think of the World Council and Alizongle? This! (moons the camera)
• Magick Chicks: Tandy delivers one to Melissa, in chapter 16, after safeguarding her for a week following the teleportation incident, during which, Mel does nothing but sulk. But Tandy's patience reaches its limit when Melissa goes on a tangent as if she were the only one who'd been affected, causing Tandy to step out of the shower and belt her before verbally laying into her.
  Tandy: (at Melissa) "You think you're the only one whose life got ruined that day?! Amelia and Gaby are DEAD! Faith is DEAD!! The school is lost - the world is next! We don't have time for crybabies! Grow some ovaries AND WOMAN UP!!"
• Quite a few good ones in Megatokyo. Among them are Piro telling off Miho for screwing with a drunken and upset Largo, Kimiko screaming at Ed for his outrageous behavior (very welcome, as he spends most of the time as a Smug Snake before the lecture), and Largo drunkenly ordering Piro not to be a "losher" with Kimiko.
• In Monsieur Charlatan, the inspector to Isidore.
• Billy Thatcher from morphE gets tired of Amical trying to be kind to the seedlings while still holding them prisoner and hostage. After being denied a newspaper he launches into an angry rant. The end result is Amical bursting into tears. In his own words:
  Billy:What the hell is your problem?! It's a goddamned newspaper! Do you want to threaten to shoot me if I tarnish your precious newspaper with my hands?! You take my time and livelihood away right before the biggest moment of my life and now I have to beg for a newspaper like I'm a dog?! What kind of greedy bastard are you?! You're a kidnapper, a murderer, and to call yourself a host is an insult to the word and the English language!
• Drew Brees gives a brutal one to Roger Goodell in "Week 7" of NFL Quarterbacks On Facebook after he tells the players that their foul language and actions are giving the league a bad name:
  Brees: "Oh eat a fat dick, Goodell. Everyone knows DAMN well the reason you made a big whiny stink over Bountygate. It was so when you get sued up the ass in that massive concussions lawsuit, you can create the false appearance that you give two craps about player safety. Meanwhile, you're desperately pushing for an 18-game season so you and your fat cat owner buddies can make a few extra million a year. And you don't give a DAMN that the wear and tear from those extra games will shorten players' careers and lifespans. So please, spare us your phony-ass righteous indignation over our little chitchats.Take your Bountygate suspensions and your moralistic bullshit and shove them right up your ginger freckled ass.——
• There is a doozy in Nip and Tuck, delivered by Zelda Porcupine to film director Michael Moby.
  "Lemme spell it out for ya, Punkin. You're not a big-shot anymore. You're a joke and everybody knows it. All those actors and politicians and other big-shots you hung out with? You're not one of them. They don't even like you — they never did. The only reason they let you hang out with them... is because they thought your crappy propaganda films would torpedo the president's re-election, and when that didn't pan out, they wiped you off their shoes. You're a nasty little man who made his name pandering to the frat-house socialists and gutter-Parisians with libelous drivel that any twelve-year-old with access to Google could refute in thirty minutes' time. You're an embarrassment and a liability now, and they've ghettoed you out to the D-List crowd. So give it up, Mikey-Baby, 'cause no matter how many "Documentaries" you make... you're still just the fat, homely, unpopular little toady that the cool kids all laugh at when he's not around."
  • She then goes on to state that she feels like she "stole the pudding cup from a retarded kid's lunch".
• Ma-ri gives a grand one to So-Hoo in Orange Marmalade after finding out he made her life a living hell by appearing on television and making a large amount of humans believe all vampires are like him (aka. happy to kill anybody) just so he could buy a videogame console.
• The Order of the Stick is chock-full of these, mostly because of its huge library of complex characters who really need to hear one once in a while, and characters who desperately want to tell people off on their side of the story (or philosophy).
  • In the prequel book On the Origins of PCs, Roy's first party (before he formed the titular order) becomes upset with him when he saves a group of Orcs from being killed (they weren't actually doing anything wrong) because this means no money and no experience points.
    Roy: They weren't doing anything wrong. We're supposed to kill them because they like music?
    Paladin: Um, YES! We're adventurers, randomly killing things is what we do!
    Roy: Yeah? Well, count me out then. I may find that I need to kill creatures in the service of some higher duty, or for self-defense, but I refuse to kill anyone because it's slightly more convenient than talking to them. And another thing: The way you treat Durkon disgusts me. Sure, he may be surly and unpleasant, but maybe he's only that way because he's been mistreated by humans like you for so long. You couldn't pay me enough to quest with you again. I quit.
  • Redcloak gets one from Right-Eye in Start of Darkness:
    Redcloak: Look, I've spent my entire life...
    Right-Eye: Your life? Your LIFE?? Brother, you may have had a lifetime but you haven't had a life since the day you put on that cloak. Life is about growing — growing older, growing wiser, growing closer to your loved ones. But you, you're frozen in time. You're the same angry kid who took that artifact off of your master's corpse that day.
  • The mother of all these, however, comes at the end of Start of Darkness.
    Xykon: I now have every confidence that you will act to serve my interests from now on, even when I'm not really around to supervise you. I know that you'll protect my phylactery if my body is destroyed.
    Redcloak: You don't know that... I could wait until someone defeated you, and then—
    Xykon: And then face the realization that if you destroy my phylactery, you killed Right-Eye over nothing. Nothing at all. And you don't have the balls for that.
    Redcloak: I-I can raise him from the dead! I'm a Cleric, I just have to—
    Xykon: Ah, but he'll know. He'll remember that you killed him to protect me, and he'll know you for what you are: My willing slave. And man, you REALLY don't have the balls for that.
    Redcloak: What have I done?
    Xykon: So therefore, you're just going to continue following me and doing whatever I order you to do. Because as long as you're loyal to me, I'll let you pretend this never happened. We'll just go about our daily business, and you can hide from the horrifying truth of what you've become — namely, a murderer who just killed his own baby brother in cold blood. And hey, we can both pretend that you don't really have any options about any of the despicable actions I ask you to take from here on out — rather than acknowledging that, like Right-Eye, you do in fact have a choice. But unlike Right-Eye there, you're too chickenshit to ever make it. You'll obey me forever now, because I give you an excuse for your inexcusable behaviour. Now, are you going to stand there and tell me that I'm wrong?... Didn't think so. As a reward for your honesty there, I'll let you in on a little evil secret. What I said up there to Dorukan about overwhelming force? That's only part of Colonel Xykon's secret recipe for winning. It's not just about raw power, it's also about how far you're willing to debase yourself before feeling bad. And me? I ripped off my own living flesh so that I wouldn't have to admit weakness. You're strictly little league compared to that. That right there? That's the difference between bonafide true Evil with a capital "E" and your whiny "evil, but for a good cause," crap. One gets to be the butch, and one gets to be the bitch — Bitch.
  • Strip #127 has Vaarsuvius tear into Elan over his rather insensitive portrayal of wizards. This drives Elan to tears and causes Vaarsuvius to realize what they said was out of line.
    Vaarsuvius: THAT IS ENOUGH! I will allow you to mock neither me nor my noble mystical profession any longer! You are NOT a wizard, powerful or otherwise! You are, in fact, a simpering buffoon without the brain power required to dress yourself, much less manage the lowliest of cantrips. You are not but a fool, an addle-brained fool!!
  • Roy gives Miko a thorough thrashing.
    Roy: You're not Good, at least not any definition of Good that I would want to follow. You follow the letter of the alignment description while ignoring its intent. Sure, you fight Evil, but when was the last time you showed a "concern for the dignity of sentient beings"? You're just a mean, socially inept bully who hides behind a badge and her holier-than-thou morality as excuses to treat other people like crap.
  • Redcloak gives one to Miko, combining it with "Not So Different" Remark. However, not only is Miko unimpressed, but Redcloak being quite hypocritical. Not only did Redcloak make Xykon the unholy abomination against life that he is, but Redcloak would be dead without divine intervention making his life unnaturally long and immune to disease.
  • Xykon pauses his duel with Roy to ask him if he'd like to postpone the battle so that he (Roy) can go off and train and take a few levels so that he'll be a more Worthy Opponent. He's being completely sincere as well. As he says, "Great heroes make great villains."
  • The bureaucratic Deva who processes Roy's first death has a good one against Roy's dad. Short version: Eugene abandoned a Blood Oath and died of old age; Roy got killed trying to fulfill the same Blood Oath which he had no particular reason to give a shit about besides his dad telling him that until Xykon gets killed, the Greenhilt family as a whole doesn't get to go to heaven. So Roy gets to go to heaven while Eugene doesn't because Roy is, in no uncertain terms, better than him.
  • Xykon gives a nasty one to Vaarsuvius, lecturing on what it means to have actual power. Rather than break V's spirit, this exact speech was exactly what V needed to hear to figure out how to destroy Xykon. V then proceeds to completely humiliate Xykon with a 1st level wizard class feature and a 3rd level spell, and the help of a paladin. All because Xykon woke V up to the fact that power isn't just high-level spells, but instead is whatever will accomplish your current goal.
  • Redcloak delivers a downright nasty one to Tsukiko right before ordering her wights to kill her.
    Redcloak: You're right, of course. About me. I have let you have your way, time and time again, because stopping you would have disrupted the delicate balance between Xykon and myself. But now... right now... not stopping you will upset that balance even more. Seize her.
    Tsukiko: What the-? Sweeties, you need to listen to Mommy. Let go.
    Wight: We're sorry, Old Mistress. Master gave us an order.
    Redcloak: That's what you never understood about undead, Tsukiko. You treat them like people when they're nothing but bits of skin and bone and dark energy, glued together by magic into the shape of a man. See, the undead are tools. Powerful, dangerous tools. From the lowliest zombie to Xykon himself, the undead are just complex weapons that we make and aim at other people. All that differs is how direct or subtle our control is. For your beloved wights, one use of my Command Undead ability when I walked in was more than up to the task. For our so-called master, more creative strategies are required.
    Tsukiko: You don't control Xykon! He controls you!
    Redcloak: Like I said: subtle.
    Tsukiko: You bastard! Xykon will destroy you and every one of your filthy hobgoblin friends when he finds out about this.
    Redcloak: Maybe. Would he react any better to the news that I've been deceiving him, though? I highly doubt it. Because, let's be clear. If I tolerated your humiliating attempts to undercut my authority before — it was only because killing you would upset the delicate puppet strings upon which "Lord Xykon" unknowingly dances. But if you're going to stand here and tell me that you'll expose one of those strings to him? If you're going to be THAT stupid? There can be only one rational response to that. Hold her until you drain the life from her. Then devour her corpse.
  • In strip #881, Belkar, of all people, gives one to Roy that's a mix of this, What the Hell, Hero?, and Get A Hold Of Yourself Man.
  • In strip #917, Elan, of all people, calls his dad out on being Wrong Genre Savvy.
    Elan: You're wrong. You're wrong about everything. You only think you know what's supposed to happen. But we get to decide what sort of story this is and what role we play — hero or comic relief. Or both at the same time.
  • One of the shortest in the comic, yet no less accurate:
    Julio: I think that's half your problem T. You always think everything is about you!
  • Strip #1007 has what may be the most painful one yet, since it's being delivered by a spirit created from the recipient's own resentment. The High Priest of Hel harshly reminds Durkon that he actually wished for his own people to be damned to Hel at his lowest point, and that the High Priest himself is that wish brought to life by Hel.
  • Early on in the final book, Minrah and Durkon give this to Redcloak, who refuses to accept a deal with them to help prevent the world's destruction despite being told that 1) the Dark One is key to potentially containing the Snarl once and for all, and 2) if the gods destroy the world (again), the Dark One won't survive until the next one. Both of them call out Redcloak for not caring at all about the goblin people and being willing to sacrifice all of goblin-kind for the sake of his plan.
    Minrah: You-you're putting a bunch of imaginary goblins in the future ahead of the ones alive right now! Aren't you their leader?? They follow you! You're just a... a big phony, talking about stuff like equality and justice to make yourself feel better about shoving them off a cliff! I don't think you really care about them — you just feel bad about not caring!!
  • In strip #1229, Serini gives one to O-Chul and Lien for the Sapphire Guard's failures to protect the gates, expressing the belief that it would be safer to let Xykon gain control of the final gate than to let the world be destroyed.
    "You fools had four shots to try to stop Xykon and earn your preferred set of outcomes. You did squat all with it. Now we're on the brink of oblivion, thanks to you. Sorry, no fifth chances on Aunt Serini's watch. If I take you off the board, there's no more conflict. No more conflict means no more chance of the Gate being destroyed, either accidentally or as some sort of misguided act of sacrifice."
• Original Life had Janie, Fisk's daughter, giving one to the Justice Defender during the Muffin Arc.
  Justice Defender: Don't you know why those muffins are bad?
  Janie: We're not hurting anyone! We're not picking up fights! We're not working up mobs! We just like these! We like what Jeffery does and you’re NOT going to be able to stop us from supporting him! EVER! If you don’t like it, you need to really think about why, and get over it! The only people who consider you a hero are the people who can use you. Use you to fight their personal battles, and settle their petty grudges. Even a goon gets paid. You’re more like a slave.
• In Ow, my sanity, David gives one of these to Colette Pickman and by extension the entire Tsundere character type. He very calmly explains how her sudden reversal of interest tells him that she's either unstable or dishonest, and either way, he's not interested.
• Paranatural has several of these, due in part to its anime influences:
  • While possessing Jeff, Hijack delivers one to Johnny and his gang, calling them out for their bullying behavior.
    Hijack: I. HATE. PEOPLE LIKE...
    Hijack: (Points at Johnny) YOU!
    Hijack: (Points at R.J.) AND YOU!
    Hijack: (Points at Ollie) AND YOU!!
    Hijack: I know your type. I saw it this morning. You're all just BULLIES fighting without a cause. How do you JUSTIFY leaving a helpless kid on the ground and the verge of tears? Oh, right: by never giving any poor sap you hurt a millisecond thought. You're kind or cruel on instinct, protecting your friends and attacking anybody else. Self-centered, without a scrap of AMBITION. Warriors of whim and base anger. Honestly... (Psychotic Smirk) ...what a waste of good violence. Your love for your friends just proves you've yet to access your brains' higher functions. Kindness without a code, cruelty that isn't calculating... Can't you see it serves no purpose? I'll show you runts the true power of violence. Get ready to learn a lifelong lesson in pain!
  • Later, Hijack attempts to convince Max that he (Hijack) is a bully-hunting Anti-Hero rather than a Villain. Max immediately shoots him down.
    Hijack: I was aiming for that Johnny Jhonny. HE'S the one who needed to learn a lesson.
    Max: ...Yeah, maybe he did.
    Hijack: Huh?? Really? D— Do you want to come by my house some time and play Wii Sports!
    Max: But not from you. If JEFF wants to give Johnny a smack on the face, he's earned it. But you're not Jeff. You think he wants you to go on a rampage in his name??
    Hijack: Hmph. People like him are too weak and too scared to fight back against bullies. But I was born strong, so I can quell their senseless violence with violence of my own. I can wield the true power of v—
    Max: OHH, THE TRUE POWER OF VIOLENCE LOOK AT ME I'M A FLOATING RAISIN WITH A BELIEF SYSTEM
    Max: SHUT UP
    Max: You're just hurting people, dude! It's not a just cause just 'cause you found a jerk to be your punching bag! Look what your good deed DID! I know what you are, Hijack, and you know what you feel like.
    Hijack: Don't... don't say it—
    Max: A bully.
  • Lucifer (No, not that one) gives Mr. Spender a pretty severe one after Spender lies to him about the severity of an injury, despite the fact that Lucifer can feel it through their Psychic Link, then proceeds to dismiss the idea of getting help from an old friend due to an unknown grudge. Lucifer, who's been there to witness Spender constantly get swayed away from their mutual objective by his own emotions, decides he can stand no more of it:
    Lucifer: Do you want to know what your problem is?
    Lucifer: You get scolded, feel guilty... you swear to keep blood off your hands and good in your heart. You fall for a taunt, you're angry... now it's no mercy, good's worth a sacrifice. You're biTTER, you let a petty grudge keep you from aid and an old ally. You're pRIDEFul, you enshrine SHALLOW REAson, ignore warnings and consequences, unleash our dARKEST SECRet on tWO CHILDREN— They'll ask qUESTIONS, Richard! You're SCARED, you cling to SAFE SOLUTIONS, knock on locked doors you should be KICKING DOWN! You're LONELY, you start a SCHOOL CLUB
    Lucifer: you start a FAKE LIFE
    Lucifer: you live a FAKE PEACE in a DOOMED TOWN!
    Lucifer: I was TOO LENIENT. Your emotions don't DISTRACT you. They RULE you, pull you EVERY DIRECTION but FORWARD. You're the same trembling, terrified boy I fished out of the lake thirteen years ago, THAT'S your PROBLEM!! [Beat] ...Prove me wrong.
    • Fittingly, this one is the trope image on the main trope page.

• Quentyn Quinn, Space Ranger has an Energy Being inform a Picard parody that the only reason the Federation's idiotic socialist society works is because he props it up with his cosmic powers.
• Rain (2010):
  • After Maria and Chanel are sent to the principal's office, two of the faculty members make some very homophobic comments. Fara doesn't stand for any of that.
    Teacher 1: Kids these days. When did homosexuality get so trendy?
    Teacher 2: Agreed. I'm just glad my son's not like that. I don't know what I'd do.
    Fara: I would hope you'd love him unconditionally, regardless, because that's the only right answer. Both of you need to wake up! This isn't something new and it's not a trend. It's one thing to poke fun at me, but you're supposed to be role models for these kids. And yet you sound more like bullies to me. Your attitudes are disgusting. You don't have to agree with everything they do, but would it kill you to have a little respect for who they are?
  • After Rudy and Rain break up, Rudy runs into Drew (who himself has been struggling with his sexuality). He's definitely not in the mood for it.
    Drew: Hey, Rudy! Sorry to hear about you going back to the dark side. If you want, I could give you some tips on overcoming "the gay."
    Rudy: Shut up, Drew! Just SHUT UP!
    Drew: Uh...
    Rudy: You didn't DO anything. You don't suddenly become gay, nor do you become magically cured of it. I am gay! I always was! I liked one girl as an exception, and that was it! As for you: you're full of it and you're annoying! I don't know why you're doing this "sometimes gay and sometimes not" flip-flopping thing, but it needs to stop. Either be gay, be straight, or be bi. I don't really care. Just for the love of god, shut up!
    Drew: ...
    Rudy: (to Gavin) Sorry. I had a bit of a moment there, and just had to get that out.
    Gavin: You don't need to apologize. I was just about to congratulate you on a job well done.
  • In the wake of Emily revealing that she's pregnant with her ex's baby, her former friend Debbie, jealous about how close she and Rain have become, confronts Rain on whether or not she knew. Rain tries to be civil and end things early, but after Debbie clocks Rain as male and practically blames her for the pregnancy, she lets her have it with the real reason Emily's been so distant.
    Debbie: Hey! Where do you think you're going?! I'm not done w-
    Rain: Shut up, Debbie! It was her ex, Chase. He's the father. And I know you know that already. So just leave me alone.
    Debbie: Wait. You're just going to walk away? How do you know I won't tell anyone about you being a boy?
    Rain: You mean you'll lie about it? If that girl was any indication, no one will believe you anyway. And even if they did, you'd only be tearing the rift between you and her open wider. You know, Emily only told me instead of you or Holly because she didn't want you guys to think less of her. She didn't want to be right, but she called it. From the very second you learned she was pregnant, you didn't even try to be there for her. You avoided her. Holly yelled at her. All during an already difficult time for her. If you were really her friends, you'd have made some effort to show support. But even now, it's more important for you to threaten me than to talk to her. She didn't abandon you. She was just scared. You abandoned her.
  • Rudy delivers two of them in Chapter 35. The first after Maria is expelled from St. Hallvard and runs away from home, when their parents are figuring out what to do, complete with a healthy dose of Calling the Old Man Out.
    Mrs. Strongwell: And why are you so against just calling the police to help.
    Rudy: Probably because he doesn't want to admit it's his fault she's gone. That she'd still be here if you weren't so eager to punish us for being ourselves. Like that stupid camp, because you either don't know or don't care what places like that do to people.
    Mr. Strongwell: Rudy!
    Rudy: Or he's just relieved to have one less queer kid to pretend to care about.
    Mr. Strongwell: RUDY!
    Rudy: I wouldn't blame her if she never came back. Anything's better than being here with you.
    Mr. Strongwell: If you know something, Rudy, you'd better tell us or you'll be finding yourself in camp tonight!
    Rudy: Oh, so you do recognize it's a punishment after all. Very compassionate of you, dad.
  • The second when Todd decides to confront him in the hall.
    Todd: Yoooo, faggot!
    Rudy: Oh, has your injury healed already? Here I was hoping my sister impaired your ability to talk. Wait. That's right! I forgot. That would've required her to actually hit you. You were only pretending to cry like a baby. Lord knows you wouldn't be here if she landed a punch.
    Todd: Hey, watch it you miserable, little...
    Rudy: If you're gonna do it, hurry up and do it. You've only been leaving me alone because my sister threatened you on Halloween, right? Because you're afraid of her. And with Maria gone, you think you're just top dog now, huh? Get over yourself. You were never on top. And someday, all the shit you put everyone through is gonna come back to bite you.
    Todd: Shut up, you pain in the ass! Don't talk about me like you know me! You don't know my life!
    Rudy: And I don't care to either. I don't care how hard your life has been. Whatever happened, it's no excuse to act the way you do to everyone. You know what, Todd? We all have stuff to deal with. I quietly cope with depression from being hated by a good chunk of my family and peers just for who I am. My dad is emotionally abusive and cares so much more about his kids being straight than being happy, that he's willing to literally torture us. I suffered a breakup a few months ago I still haven't gotten over. And knowing she moved on doesn't help either. And I no longer get to see my sister every day- the most important person in my world- thanks to you. But you never see me beating anyone up. All my friends are traumatized in some way too, and they all find a way to still be decent people. You know how I cope, Todd? I just try to make my friends laugh. So you wanna talk about what you've been through, like that's a valid reason to be an asshole? Like that makes it okay to attack and berate people? Whatever gets you through the day. But don't act surprised and offended when it doesn't earn you any sympathy. Now, if you're gonna hit me, just hurry up and do it so I can go to class!
• Miharu gives a speech to Kazou's father Kenta in Red String after Kazuo attempts suicide.
• The Hero of RPG World gives one to the King of Langoria and eventually gets him run out of town.
• SHELTER: The leader of the Nest Jackers gives one to Nogaku as a whole.
  Jay: I hate you. I hate your kind! Why is it so damn hard to just get your sh*t together? Do you think you're so special? That you have it so much worse than others? Why do innocent lives have to suffer from your weakness?!
  Ruka: A...ha ha! My, my... are you an exorcist and mind reader as well? It almost sounds like my thoughts are being echoed back. I already know that I'm helpless. And I know... I'm far from the center of the universe. You can go on and hate me all you want, but... Do you honestly think I want to feel this way? That it's easy to just feel "okay" again?! Now, if you don't want you or your friend to get hurt, then just give me Pom's location.
• Sinfest:
  • This strip.
  • A later event that happens several times to different characters is Baby Blue the succubus showing up to show the character how much they've contributed to the powers of Hell, either by corrupting others or by their own faults. She then congratulates them on their efforts, and in Monique's case, offers her a paycheck for the million souls she's led into temptation.
  • Blue also paid the artist a visit at one point to compliment him on all the Unfortunate Implications of his earlier work in the series.
• Slightly Damned had Heathcliff "Cliff" Sinclair give one to Buwaro when Buwaro was falling in love with Kieri which was particularly biting, to the point that Buwaro was actually reduced to tears in the last panel on the page. You can see it here.
• Bun-bun in Sluggy Freelance gives a couple of these over the years:
  • In "Oceans Unmoving", while defeating Calix in a duel as he speaks, Bun-bun tells him that his plan to free his people and let them take over one of the high-tech pirate ships failed because it sucked; because they're too high-tech for untrained people to operate; and that he thus doomed his own people to be killed or taken by the attacking Admiral Jacobs. Actually Calix is lucky that Bun-bun finds amusement in breaking his spirit because otherwise he certainly couldn't have survived after antagonising Bun-bun.
  • In "bROKEN", after dueling Oasis on equal terms but knowing it would be useless to kill her, Bun-bun tricks and traps her in a place where she can't escape. Then, with unusual Genre Blindness, he starts telling her how stupid she was to let herself be manipulated there and goes on to torture her with verbal images of her supposed beloved getting cuddly with someone else. This backfires nastily.
  • He also teaches Kiki to give this reply to Dr. Schlock every time he asks anything metaphorically, this is a literal case of "Cause you SUCK!" which sticks so well that Schlock starts saying it himself. He also subverts this himself later on. "No Kiki I don't suck, I BLOW!"
  • The zombie Jane also gives Gwynn one while she has her chained down and is about to eat her brain. If possible, it ends up even worse than with Bun-bun and Oasis.
    Jane: "The next time I ask you a question, how about you answer it straight away instead of going on and on about your friends and your book and your "magic?" I know real magic, Gwynn! Little tip? You have to have some spirituality or even a little depth for true magic, and you're as empty on both as your skull's about to be! Before you go, for the record? I ate your monkeys. Aw, I bet you wish you could smack me with your widdle magic now!
    Gwynn: (Looks up, Glowing Eyes of Doom)
    Jane: (Oh, Crap!)
  • At the end of "That Which Redeems," Torg does this after learning that Alt-Riff kidnapped the person he thought was Alt-Torg and Alt-Kiki to replace their counterparts in that dimension, who died in one of his experiments, and essentially, everything that happened in that arc is his fault.
    Torg: All of this, the death and the destruction, all of it so that you could have a chance to "set things right". Bravo.
• Spinnerette gives us a short, scientific one:
  Spinnerette: If you'd studied spider biology a bit more, you'd know they get their strength from hydraulic muscles! The downside of this is that a spider doesn't have the dexterity to scratch its own back!
• Cookiecutter and Spring Clean of Star Mares deliver one tag-team style to the Huntress/Fluttershy as they unravel her evil plan for stealing the flutterponies' magic to brainwash the entire galaxy. Bonus points for delivering a 'You Suck' speech to a vampire.
• In this installment of Tanking the Stone, one dwarf character from World of Warcraft delivers a speech to Uther and Jaina for their inaction in response to Arthas's Culling of Stratholme.
  Jaina: I'm sorry, Arthas, I can't watch you do this.
  Dwarf: Ye canna watch?? Ye canna watch?!? Ye bletherin' orc-suckin' COWARDS! He say he be slaughterin' a whole city, an' all ye say is "oh-so-sad" an' walk away? Because ye canna watch? Ye arse-fer-brains, troll-shite, trogg-friggers! HOW-DARE-YE?!?
  Uther What did you call me?
  Dwarf: Stuff it in yer nethers, Uther! Ye can stop him! Terenas would back ye! All yer men are with ye! Ye be na paladin. Ye be as much of a cowardly murderin' slime as he be!
  Arthas: Um-excuse me, young... dwarf?
  Dwarf: Just hold yer twistie tights, Artie! I na be through with these twa bloody arses yet! (to Jaina) An' ye, miss "I canna watch ye" bitch, spare me yer weepies-ERK!
  (Chromie teleports the dwarf away)
• In Tetsuko, Dr. Sonya Gannon lays one on crime boss Slade's henchman:
  Sonya: And I will not "conduct business" with anyone who barges in here uninvited, scares my assistant half to death and smashes a perfectly good door. You now have three seconds [to get out of my lab]!
• In Trying Human, Shade explains to Rose's long estranged mother that her daughter's emotional wounds stem from having been abandoned by her. She does this in a methodical, calm way that only The Greys can, while the other woman starts out smug, but is soon reduced to wailing that she never wanted to have Rose in the first place. To which Shade responds:
  I continue to mother hybrids that die endlessly, never catching a foothold in this world. I will continue to mother until I am successful. Will you?
• Unordinary: Cecile calls out Remi for acting too weak to put someone in their place, and as a result, she doesn't have a strong enough will to dominate someone and force out the information that she wants from Cecile. Cecile also calls out Remi for giving high-tiers a bad name by hanging out with people that are lower-tier than her such as Blyke and Isen, and even tried to help out a cripple (John) at one point.
• Unsounded: Duane receives one from ''himself'' (a hallucinatory version) when he finds Sara's corpse, pointing out how his hatred of Cresce has made him, frankly speaking, a bad person.

  Past Duane: Look at her. She's not yours. But she's yours.
  Present Duane: Sette's friend?
  Past Duane: Can that perfect memory even produce her name?
  Present Duane: (remembering pulling her hair) Sara.
  Past Duane: Hate has settled on the ruins of you like snow.
  Present Duane: I owe this place nothing. Cresce caused this. All of it. Nobody came to help us-
  Past Duane: I know. I was there. So much lost... A bleak fate, remarkably shaped; but God did not wholly smooth away the contour of his touch, and you thought you saw his fingerprints. You interpreted them; concluded there was some meaning. Now: slay a monster, defeat a queen, uncover a scheme-Will Hell open its gate? Might you bribe your way out, your undoing undone? Then home, home, home. How they'll welcome the long lost soldier. But even Lemuel did not know you.
  Present Duane: ...He owes me nothing.
  Past Duane: ...How kindly this ugly world has treated you. To a lonely father it made a gift of a girl so starved for love her hunger sharpened her teeth into fangs. But she wasn't yours. And you lost interest so quickly. The river carried you to a treasure trove. Within was all the rich meaning you've ever needed: to protect. To learn. To teach. To nurture. You chose to do none of those things. You've pursued easy meaning-a comfortable purpose-and trampled children underfoot even as they begged alms at the high walls of your hateful heart. Because you owed them nothing. God is unattainable by transaction. He's the prize of good men who fill every deserving hand hand with courage, sacrifice, and kinship. Good men keep no accounts, and are richer for it. But if the ledgers of this world are your meaning, Duane Adelier... Then rot in this world until better men reshape it.

• Weak Hero:
  • Teddy ropes a hapless student into tormenting Gray in his steed. Gray has no sympathy for the student when he says he had no choice and lays into him:
    Gray: So, that lets you do despicable things to a stranger's back? In a pathetic attempt to preserve your body from pain? You fucking lowlife. If you're gonna run away, carry that weight yourself. Don't rope other people into your shit.
  • Once Gray takes down the bullies that hospitalised Stephen, he lays into the teachers who were complicit in letting the bullies get away with it, all because their parents were influential figures.
    Gray: That city representative Oscar Yang's second son, Oswald Yang. His repeated offenses of school violence were all minimized and covered up by the higher-ups, out of fear that the school's image might be tainted. Principal, Daryl Bae. Received a massive donation for the school from the chairman through Oscar Yang. And still unsatisfied, pocketed additional money from him personally. Vice-Principal, Gilbert Gu. Partnered with the principal to continuously monitor and keep students and teachers from leaking information. Teacher, Jerry Bang. Offered a deal by the other men, and falsified a report on the incident in favour of Oswald Yang and Bryce Oh. Such shallow-minded people you are... Running around trying to silence something that everyone and their mother knows. You'd have better luck trying to cover the sky with your hands.
  • Gerard got a nice one in middle school after taking down one of the two residential bullies:
    Gerard: Wow, are you serious? When I was looking for my next opponent, you hid away in the corner, but now that I have a broken finger, you come running to pick a fight... just to cry after getting hit a few times? You're so pathetic that I'm lost for words.
• In Widdershins, Sidney and Ben deliver one to themselves in order to weaken the spirit of Pride they are facing.
  Ben: I've bumbled us through this whole thing! I have no idea how we're still alive!
  Sidney: Oh, me neither! I've sort of been hoping everyone else knows what they're doing, because I really don't! I mean, I- I nearly cut your cousin in half!
  Ben: And I just sat there and watched! Didn't do a thing!
  Pride: But- but you must be proud of something—
  Ben: My entire education was worthless, again!
  Sidney: At least you actually graduated!
  • And, eventually:
    Ben: I have no friends! Only people obligated to be around me!
    Pride: STOP!
• When Black Hat Guy's partner in xkcd is greeted by a misogynistic pick-up artist attempting to make her feel bad about herself, she decides to respond in kind.
  You look like you're going to spend your life having one epiphany after another, always thinking you've finally figured out what's holding you back, and how you can finally be productive and creative and turn your life around. But nothing will ever change. That cycle of mediocrity isn't due to some obstacle. It's who you are. The thing standing in the way of your dreams is that the person having them is you.

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