Do not tempt Fate. She is a fickle, vindictive little troublemaker and it’s wise to stay on her good side.
"The play went smoothly until the final commercial, which was also done live. In a dramatically—even reverently—lit corner of the studio there was a special chapel for the Westinghouse refrigerator, for which we toiled... 'And it all works so easily. You just press the magic button...' She pressed the button. Nothing happened. Close shot of the actress' panicky face. Then, as she gabbled incoherently, the sound of a crowbar prying open the door. On cue now, she turned, pressed the button and, like a lover come home from who knows what crusade, the door fell into her waiting arms."
—Gore Vidal, Palimpsest
"There isn’t a more amusing Seagal tale than the time he was choked out by Judo champion and stunt coordinator Gene Lebell. Seagal, who has a history of abusing stuntmen on the sets of his films, often by kicking them in the nuts when they don’t expect it, finally got a taste of his own medicine when he arrogantly declared he could never be choked out by anyone, and lo and behold, was taken down by Lebell. The reason this story is so funny is because not only did Seagal pass out, but he proceeded to urinate and defecate all over himself in the process. At long last Seagal managed to experience the metaphorical equivalent of what moviegoers had been put through every time they saw one of his films. Of course, a lawsuit towards Lebell followed, so Gene had to stay quiet about it all."
Aladdin: You're only in trouble if you get caught!
(Razoul, captain of the Royal Guards, grabs Aladdin.)
Ida: We’ve come this far, there's no turning back.
The Doctor: Oh, did you have to? 'No turning back'? That's almost as bad as "Nothing could possibly go wrong" or "This is gonna be the best Christmas Walford's ever had!"
— Doctor Who, "The Impossible Planet/The Satan Pit"
Marge: I think you're making him angry...
Reporter: Come oooon, what's he gonna do? Run amok in downtown Springfield?
Leo: You are on full health, dude!
Raph: Aw, now we will never get to Shredder.
Mike: Aw, quit your bitchin'! I'm sure we will be fine without pizza (full health) for five more min- (Donatello, Leo, Raphael died due to a ball and chain dropped on them)
Mike: Well, now you guys definitely don't need it.
Raph: F*** you.
— Dorkly, TMNT Argue Over Pizza.
"Well, now, really, what did you expect after a line like that?"
— Nale, The Order of the Stick
Jeremy Clarkson: How hard can it be?
Richard Hammond: Oh, how I've missed the pang of dread I feel whenever you mention the words "How hard can it be"...
Wash: It's OK, we don't need him to believe. Until the next time we encounter the Meta.
(Loud thump on roof)
Wash: What the hell was that?
Sarge: Come on, d'ya even need to ask?
— Red vs. Blue: Reconstruction, chapter 18
Grace: What're you gonna do, Ranger Rick? Huh? You gonna shoot me?
Quaritch: I can do that. (He does.)
Tali: Shepard, this is Admiral Zaal'Koris vas Qwib-Qwib. Do not ask about the name.
Shepard: ...you have a ship named Qwib-Qwib?
Tali: Oh, here we go...
Liara: Their attacks are disorganized. They would be more effective if they all attacked at once.
Shepard: Please don't give the mercs ideas!
Liara: Watch out! This next wave looks like a big one!
Shepard: You just had to give them tactical advice!
Liara: But we will face less of them inside.
Shepard: Yeah, keep dreaming T'soni.
(Later in the base...)
Liara: More of them, how many does the Shadow Broker need?
Tevos: Commander, do not cut me off like last time. I fail to find it amusing.
Joker: Aaand we're out.
Seymour and Audrey: We'll have a family/Three kids or four/Lights in the window/Christmas wreath on the door/Roses are red, love/Weddings are white/We'll have tomorrow/If we/Make it through tonight!
The Emperor: [to Royal Guard] Hey, wanna see me tempt fate? Could this day get any worse?! I did it ironically, so I think I'm safe.
[One hour later, as Darth Vader is killing the Emperor]
The Nostalgia Chick: "Besides, how gay could it be?"
He-Man: "A work of art like my famous spice bread takes time."
Stop that! Every time you say 'we survived', we don't!
— Torben, Äpplet Och Masken (The Apple And The Worm)
"Ask not for whom it gets worse. It gets worse for thee."
Randy: Never, ever, ever, under any circumstances, say "I'll be right back." 'Cause you won't be back.
Stu: I'm gettin' another beer, you want one?
Randy: Yeah, sure.
Stu: I'll be right back!
Randy: You see, you push the laws, and you end up dead, okay? I'll see you in the kitchen with a knife.
"The fate of Equestria doesn't depend on my making friends."
—Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, It does. It totally does.
Red Mage: We're our own worst enemies! What can he do?!
Red Mage:... What if I said it was a rhetorical question?
"There's a line between tempting fate and dressing up in a low-cut gown, lying on a bed covered in thousand dollar bills and purring 'Oh Fate, you big handsome stud.'"
"Wait...so they're lingering on a shot of a frieze before introducing Mr. Freeze? Huh...that's actually pretty clever; maybe this won't be so bad..."
"90% of you didn't know you could download DVDs off the internet until we fucking told you not to do it in ads before movies."
"With the amount of dignity lost, I don't see how this could possibly get any.." *Record Needle Scratch* "...worse?"
"You know, I need to learn to keep my fucking mouth shut."
Valtor: What're you gonna do, hit me with the Water Stars?
Layla: Coming right up. (lets the Water Stars blast Valtor)
— Winx Club Episode 77 (The Spell of the Elements)
Grizzaka: It's your turn to learn the same lesson all of my enemies have. There is no one as powerful as Grizzaka... and NEVER will be.
(the rangers form the Jungle Master Stampede formation and use it to destroy Grizzaka)
Grizzaka: (as his body prepares to explode) IMPOSSIBLE! I AM INVINCIBLE! NO ONE IS STRONGER THAN GRIZZZAKKKAAAA!!! (he blows up)
Graf Sepperin: Empty platitudes. If you are so certain of yourself, then show me the true extent of your power! (gets beaten by Spiritia) Gah... I had not expected such an outcome...!
''"Great! I snuck into the villain's stronghold and gave him the item of power. What else could go wrong?"
— The Hero, AdventureQuest Worlds, moments before the Lake Hydra appears
Tai Lung: What are you gonna do? SIT ON ME?!
Po: Don't tempt me.
"You don't need the brakes! I'm a professional minecart driver!"
Sokka: Things couldn't get much worse.
(giant serpent pops out of the sea)
Sokka: The universe just loves proving me wrong, doesn't it?
Toph: You make it too easy!
No matter how bad your day gets, one should never ponder if things could get any worse. Because fate simply loves a challenge, and fate never fails to deliver.
"Wazzpinator having good day! Not yet shot once!"
''"What if it knew its master is dead? I wonder what the familiar would do then. It's not like it's unchained and going to return to its orignal form, right?"
(Next we see the familiar, it has become a wild demonic beast again)
— Random Guard, Blue Exorcist episode 10.
Axe Knight: Kirby is headed for the reactor!
Mace Knight: If we lose the reactor, this is all over for sure!
Captain Vul: Never fear. I don't think Kirby can do anything to the reactor.
Waddle Dee: So long as a reflected laser doesn't hit the reactor, it will be invincible.
Captain Vul: Eeeyah! Don't even say things like that!
Spike: Be careful when you open that door...
Barley: What, is it gonna be like, another Fucking zombie?
The Vision: That was of minimal difficulty.
Hawkeye: Did you just say this was easy? You never say it was easy, EVER!
The Vision: Why?
(A brainwashed Thor appears)
Thor: Your end has come, betrayers!
Hawkeye: That's why.
—The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes, "Emperor Stark"
Doctor: They said I was gonna die. They said "He will knock four times," and I think I know what that means — and it doesn't mean right here, right now, 'cause I don't hear anyone knocking, do you?
Doctor: Three knocks is all you're getting! (electrocutes him)
— Doctor Who, "The Waters of Mars"
Life is good. I hope I never have to leave my beloved village.
-Erik the Swift, The Lost Vikings, in a day before he and his two buddies are kidnapped by aliens, kickstarting the game.
"It simply would have been rude for reality not to respond to a challenge like that."
-China Mieville, in Railsea.
"So where's all the evil? I haven't seen it yet..."
"Really? The guys trying to stab you- or rather, cut you with axes- while saying crazy Spanish shit isn't evil?"
"I don't see anything evil at all in this place." (sees a corpse impaled by a pitchfork) "Oh. Oh, ok."
"YEEEESS! HOORAY FOR THE NAZIS! YEEEEEAHHH! Please don't take this out of context and put it on YouTube."
(present) Say goodbye... no...
(flashback) Fine! Next time you go off somewhere, don't bother coming back!
(present) I didn't mean it! You can't go away... YOU JUST CAN'T!! *hug and bawl*
"Is there fall damage? (...) Yep."
— Ray Narvaez, Rooster Teeth, playing "Terror in Terrorist Town" and jumping off a rooftop without realizing there was fall damage.
"Guys like us don't fall out of the fucking sky, y'know?!" [Enter Rufus from the sky. Looks up.] Beautiful, big-tittied women don't fall out of the sky! [Nothing happens]''"
— Jay, Dogma
There is still one movie left: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III. And seeing as how they've had 2 movies to experiment with and find out what works and what doesn't, I think we can safely assume that this is gonna be the best of the bunch. So sit back and let's enjoy Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III.
—(5 minutes later)
OH MY GOD IT'S SO TERRIBLE! IT'S SO TERRIBLEAAAAAAAAHHHHAHAHAH!!! (montage of going Angrish)
Soldier: Oh boy, I hope I don't get shot in the face.
I swear, the only thing I hate more than weaklings is the color pink!
—Vegeta, Dragon Ball Z Abridged
"What are you gonna do, stab me?"
DEATH PHANTOM: "Oh, for goodness sake, now they're all ganging up on me? What else could go wrong? …I said that ironically, so I think I'm safe."
Chibi-Usa /powers up into Princess Chibi-Serenity.
DEATH PHANTOM: "Oh, Hell's bells and balls. TWO Silver Crystals? Now that's just overkill."
"What a nice day. Just walkin' out in the sun, talkin' into my ECHO recorder, hoping skags won't ambush me and break my gun into four separate pieces before eating them. OH GOD! THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT IS HAPPENING! AHHHHH!"
"I am quite aware of the ramifications that surround our guests and their positions. Believe me that nothing will occur that is not exactly as I intend."
Anyone who'd had the education Weiss Schnee had received should really have known better than to invoke a literary convention like that.
— The fanfiction Belladonna Lillies
"The dream to kill me will never be completed."
"They haven't breached The Wall in 100 years."
— Several characters from Attack on Titan, on the day just that happens.
"You hear me, world!?" She took a fighting stance. "You can't keep me here!" Her fist slammed into the large double door and caused it to fly open. "You can't keep me anywhere!" she proclaimed as she strode into the courtyard that really should have been familiar to her. "Nothing will stand in my way today!"
The oversized Asylum Demon slammed into the ground from above and hissed unnaturally as it locked its ugly gaze on the intruder.
"Fate is like a caged gorilla. It will pelt you with dung if you mock it."
— Warriv, Diablo II