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Psmith: Sherlock Holmes was right. You may remember that he advised Doctor Watson never to take the first cab, or the second. He should have gone further, and urged him not to take cabs at all. Walking is far healthier. Mr. Parker: You'll find it so.
Out of all the cabs in all the city, the Hero, his significant other, or another important person will invariably get on the one that the villain is driving. If they're particularly alert they might notice they aren't headed to the park before the villain reveals himself and uses Knockout Gas or locks all the doors from the front of the vehicle. (They never notice before they enter the car.)
As anyone who lives in a large metropolitan area can attest, cabbies and people looking for a taxi are aggressive and a dime a dozen; so the odds of a Villain or his Evil Minions actually catching their target without another cab swerving in ahead of them, or having a pushy fare cut in front of the victim, are particularly slim. This is also ignoring the possibility of the intended target biking, busing, taking the subway, metro, getting a friend to pick them up, or just plain walking.
This trope is named for the less common but more iconic scene where the target's personal driver is replaced by the villain, leading to a "You're Not My Driver" quickly followed by a Bond One-Liner from the impostor and some knockout gas or a gun to the face. It often comes with the added implication that the poor driver is laying face down in a ditch somewhere. This method is more believable than Taxi-napping a victim, since the target invariably comes to the villain. It is, however, slightly odd that nobody ever notices this until after they're in the car.
This trope is not necessarily limited to taxis and limos either, but also planes, boats, and even zeppelins. A particularly nasty variation has an ambulance full of apparent paramedics turn up who are actually bad guys there to finish off the survivors.
See also The Taxi, Fridge Logic, Xanatos Roulette.
Examples:
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Anime and Manga
- In Canaan, not only do the main characters find probably the only Japanese-speaking cabbie in Shanghai, but he becomes a recurring character. Literally every time they need a car, the same exact cabbie miraculously happens to be nearby.
- The heroine in Ten Yori Mo, Hoshi Yori Mo falls for one of these. Justified because she only just moved in with a rich family and wouldn't know all their drivers yet. What wasn't justified was why the driver didn't just pop her in the car right there before she caught on.
- In Death Note, Mello kidnaps Sayu and demands the Japanese task force hand over the notebook as ransom. The task force members travel to Los Angeles by separate planes, but at Narita Airport Soichiro Yagami is forced to board flight SE333, where The Mafia is waiting for him.
Comic Books
- Huge Lampshade Hanging the Miracleman story "Spy Story" by Neil Gaiman, where a paranoid secret agent goes through the following tortuous logic:
You never take the first cab that comes along. A rookie knows that. And if a rookie knows that, then the opposition knows that too. Fine. So you never take the second cab that comes along. Which leaves the first cab or the third cab. But you never take the first cab that comes along. Which means it's the third cab. But they'll have thought of that, so you ignore the first three cabs. Which is just what they'll be expecting you to do, so they'll have their man in the fourth cab. Which means... Which means... She then gives up and takes the first cab that comes along. It's driven by another spy, of course, but then so are all the cabs in the city.
- In an issue of Suicide Squad, Black Orchid impersonated bad guy William Heller's chauffeur. She does it not to kidnap him, however, but so she can eavesdrop on conversations between him and his advisers. She let the real driver out of the trunk after completing her mission, and threatened him into keeping quiet about having been kidnapped and replaced.
- Tintin In America has our hero get into a cab driven by one of the gangsters he's after. He escapes and gets into a police car, but that one is smashed by accomplices in a muscle car.
- Later, he calls the police after another assassination attempt, but his phone line is hijacked and the police car turns out also driven by gangsters.
- Wolverine pulled this on a cocky young mob boss who threatened to kill a little girl and her father if Wolverine didn't kill a witness under Federal protection for him (obviously Wolverine didn't go through with it). When the mob boss went for the hidden gun in his limo Wolverine just told him not to embarrass himself. Fredo, realizing he has absolutely no chance of overpowering Wolverine, relents.
- Variant occurs in the Catwoman tie-in to No Man's Land. Selina hijacks a military helicopter after replacing one of the pilots, and her copilot doesn't realize this until she removes her helmet.
- Batman once impersonated the limo driver of a woman who nearly got away with two murders by playing on the Riddler's ego. She only noticed something was amiss when she realized the limo wasn't going to the airport. (Detective Comics #822)
- An issue of Green Arrow featured a scene where the female vigilante Thorn used a taxi cab in order to stalk a criminal she was planing to kidnap. The real driver is shown tied up in the back seat with his mouth taped shut, apparently having been knocked out by Thorn.
Film
- In Spider-Man 3, Eddie Brock kidnaps Mary Jane this way.
- In Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, the plane Indy, Short Round, and Willie board to escape Shanghai mobster Lao Che is owned by Lao Che, so he promptly signals the pilots to parachute out and let the plane crash.
- In Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, Brody insists on going with the people the embassy send to pick him up, despite his local guide insisting that their story makes no sense and they are obviously German spies. They are.
- Subverted by James Bond in Dr. No, where a villain claims the embassy sent him. Bond covertly phones the embassy to find out the truth, and properly deals with the villain.
- However, in the later Roger Moore Bond film Live and Let Die, Bond falls for this trick (in a taxi this time), though pretty much everyone in the city is in the pay of the Big Bad. Then he falls for it again, with the same driver.
- The Roger Moore Bond has also had Blofeld send a phony helicopter to pick him up at the opening of For Your Eyes Only. Blofeld then kills the fake pilot and takes radio control so he can finish 007 off personally. Well, try to anyway.
- Poked fun at in What's Up, Tiger Lily?, a Gag Dub of a Japanese spy movie. The main characters walk into a random cab and promptly tell the driver they want to be kidnapped. He of course, obliges, seeing as how this was a Not My Driver scene in the original dub of the movie.
- 1998's Godzilla featured a Taxi-napping of Matthew Broderick by Jean Reno.
- Subverted in that he's actually the good guy.
- A slight variation from Anastasia, where Dmitri takes over for the Dowager Empress's driver, forcing her to see Anya. The variation here is that Dmitri is the hero, and simply trying to make amends for his earlier deception. The Stock Phrase is also inverted: Instead of the Dowager saying the phrase, Dmitri turns around and says "I'm not [your driver]!"
- The first act of Requiem for a Dream ends with Marlon Wayans making a deal with some black drug kingpins. The partition slides down and Wayans marvels that they have a white driver, only for bullets to start flying; the driver was a hitman for an Italian cartel.
- In the first X-Men movie, Mystique and Toad kidnap Senator Kelly by piloting his helicopter to Magneto's island. Somewhat justified: as Mystique can shapeshift to look like anyone at all, she murders and impersonates the senator's real staff.
- Japanese tokusatsu example: in Kamen Rider The First, the Shocker operative Spider poses as a cabdriver for the explicit purpose of finding his victims and, when necessary, taking them somewhere secluded to dispose of them.
- The classic British gangster film The Long Good Friday ends with the main character and his mistress entering a dummy vehicle and being 'taken for a ride' by his enemies.
- Played Straight in The Game, when Nicholas finds out that the cab he gets on the street is owned by CRS.
- An example of the hero (or should I say Villain Protagonist) using this technique occurs in Assassins (1995). Robert Rath, having lost track of rival contract killer Miguel Bain, steals a cab and, upon hearing a radio call about a priest in the area Bain was last seen asking to be taken to the airport, realizes that's his man. Rath intends to shoot Bain when he gets out of the car (as there's a sheet of bulletproof glass between them) but at the last minute Bain sees the driver's ID card is missing and realizes who Rath is, leading to Gunpoint Banter through the glass.
- Another heroic example occurs in Undercover Blues, where Jeff Blue stops a bank robbery in progress by booby-trapping their getaway minivan and replacing their getaway driver with himself. Lampshaded when he says, "No one ever looks at the driver."
- In Scrooged, the Ghost of Christmas Past is a taxi driver. He solves the "aggressive real taxi cutting in" problem by aggressively cutting in himself. Crunch.
- In One of Our Dinosaurs is Missing, Lord Southmere is kidnapped by the Chinese. He realizes what's happened, but can't do anything about it because they're being followed by another car full of the driver's colleagues.
- In Undercover Brother, Mr. Feather kidnaps James Brown using this technique. "James Brown" is actually Undercover Brother wearing a Latex Perfection mask.
- Parodied in The Third Man.
- Done in Death to Smoochy. This time, the passenger does not realize who he is (not until much later in the film), even though the driver's dialogue is incredibly Subtext-filled.
- In Life is Beautiful the protagonist does this to try to win the heart of the woman he loves.
- In The Art Of War, this happens at the end with the film's Big Bad, after the main character informs the Chinese that she had their ambassador assassinated. She realizes they're not going to the airport right before the "driver" turns around and shoots her.
- In The Whole Nine Yards, Oz plans to take Jimmy to a museum in order to ensure the latter doesn't try to kill him, while the women go to the bank. He hails a cab that is waiting across the street. On the way, Jimmy lets him know they're not going to the museum, at which point the driver window is opened, revealing Frankie Figgs.
- In Eraser, the Big Bads are leaving the courthouse in a limo, talking about the apparent deaths of the protagonists, only to realize that neither of them is responsible for the car bomb. They suddenly stop at train tracks, and the doors lock. The driver runs away, revealing him to be Johnny, a friend of Kruger's. They then get a call from Kruger, who faked his and the girl's deaths. After saying his catch-phrase ("You've just been erased."), he watches as they "catch a train".
- In Red, the Vice-President and his Secret Service guards get in a car while under fire. Cooper tries to warn them, but they don't listen. Then one guard is knocked out when the limo stops abruptly, and the other is tazered by the driver, who is Moses. The VP then gets the same treatment.
- In the first dream level of Inception the protagonists kidnap Fischer this way. Possibly justified in that they designed the place, so they could make sure theirs was the only cab available.
- As listed under Literature, this is how the bad guy in The Bone Collector catches his victims.
Literature
Live Action TV
- Doctor Who did this in the episode "The Runaway Bride" (the second Christmas Special of the new series). The Bride of the title gets kidnapped in this way by one of the killer Santa Clauses, who is driving a taxi.
- Before in Terror of the Autons the Doctor and Jo are about to be lynched by carnies then the police turn up. As there are only two constables to contend with the crowd of carnies, the sensible course was to rescue the Doctor and Jo by taking the pair into protective custody. The Doctor notes it is unusual that the Brigadier has used his head for once and the constables aren't very talkative, the pair turn out to be the killer shop window dummies of the title. Another old school case is the killer limousine driver who picks the Doctor up in The Seeds of Doom.
- In Torchwood: Children of Earth Gwen gets picked up after the Hub bombing by ambulance paramedics who turn out to be MI5 assassins out to finish her off.
- In 24 season one, Jack kidnaps Ted Cofell, by taking the place of his personal driver. He then does it again to "Alan York" (really Kevin Caroll), who gets in the car with Ted Cofell (who Jack had killed).
- Inverted on Heroes. Mohinder Suresh, one of the protagonists, funds his research into finding super powered people by driving a cab. Bennet, The Dragon and the series' Magnificent Bastard, attempts to ambush Suresh by posing as a fare. Ironically, Suresh also taxis Peter without ever knowing he's one of the people he's looking for.
- Additionally, Sylar kills Mohinder's father, Chandra, in his own taxi.
- In the Season 3 Finale, neither the driver nor the car's owner were actually who they were supposed to be.
- The Suresh taxi seemed to have some sort of magical gravity: any time any main character ever needed to go anywhere in New York, they'd end up in Suresh's taxi.
- At the end of the audition tape that concluded Stephen Colbert's White House Correspondents Association speech, Colbert has successfully outrun Helen Thomas and fled Washington for New York. He steps off the plane, breathes a sigh of relief and gets into his car - to find Thomas in the driver's seat. His reaction is predictable.
- Somewhat subverted in the House episode "Living the Dream", when House kidnaps his favorite soap star because he believes that he has a life-threatening illness (or is just bored, we're never 100% sure).
- Beautifully subverted in series 2 episode 9 of Life, where Charlie tries to kidnap one of the people involved in his imprisonment. "You misunderstand me, this isn't a kidnapping. This, detective, is a kidnapping".
- In one episode of Forever Knight, a man kidnaps a rich society lady and her daughter by killing their chauffeur and taking the driver's seat while the two women are out shopping.
- NCIS. In "Reveille" Ari pulls up alongside Kate on the street, knowing she'll commandeer the first car she sees to chase him. Unfortunately it's full of Ari's mooks.
- This trope pops up occasionally on Smallville.
- The episode of Mission: Impossible "The Killer" (or at least, its remake) involved taking the villain to a bugged hotel. However, they didn't know in advance which hotel he would want to go to, so the first two cabs of the airport were crewed by IMF agents. The second cab slowly*
They purposely put obstacles on the road to buy time takes him to the the hotel that wasn't there yesterday while said hotel gets puts the name the baddie chose ("The Raeburn Hotel") on its front porch (and everything else).
- Done in the original Battlestar Galactica to trick Baltar into releasing the hostages. Though, to be fair, they had to do this, as Baltar demanded his centurions, who were already disassembled. They manage to rebuild them, but they can't do anything well. As soon as he releases the hostages, he orders the centurions to launch. Thr pilot says "By your command" and punches through the controls. The colonials then surround Baltar and take him prisoner again.
- In The Sandbaggers, this happens to Wellingham on a routine visit to Brussels; he's suspicious when his regular driver doesn't show, but gets in his limo when the new driver shows him a set of proper NATO-issued credentials. Since the kidnapping turns out to have been masterminded by the West German government as part of a Batman Gambit to arrest a terrorist cell outside their proper jurisdiction, the credentials are probably even real...
- Attempted in True Blood, where the imposter soon discovers why it's a dumb idea to try to deceive a telepath.
- For an episode of Derren Brown's Trick or Treat series, he began by having an eerily silent taxi driver take his victim past his destination to a dark alleyway where a bunch of actors in hoodies surrounded the cab. Of course, by this point the guy was on the phone to the police.
- The MO of the "Cabbie Killer" in CSI: New York.
- This happens to the title character in the series two finale of Sherlock. After getting in the first cab he sees, he's treated to a video of Moriarty explaining his plan like something out of a kid's fairy-tale. He gets out of the cab, runs to the driver's window - and sees Moriarty, who quips "No charge" and drives off.
Professional Wrestling
Video Games
Web Comics
Web Original
Western Animation
- An episode of Batman: The Animated Series has this, where the Joker impersonates the helicopter pilot of Cameron Kaiser, a one-shot character, to try and kill him.
- Also, in the animated Batman/Superman crossover movie, Lex Luthor's usual driver (Mercy Graves) is waylaid and impersonated by Harley Quinn, so the Joker can meet with him.
- The comic adaptation adds in a bit of dialogue humorously implying that the real Mercy was taped up in the trunk the entire time.
- Also showed up in Superman: The Animated Series, with Lana getting into a car she thinks is being driven by Luthor's usual assistant... "Sorry. No Mercy tonight."
- This also happens in Justice League Unlimited, with the hero of the episode, The Question, posing as a cabbie in order to interrogate a mid-level mook. In a nice touch, a shot from the back seat includes a small photo of the driver, so that eagle-eyed viewers can see that the guy up front really is not his driver.
- In the cartoon Baseball Bugs, the dirty Gas House Gorillas need a home run to win the game. The batter knocks Bugs' first pitch clear out of the park. Bugs flags down a cab, telling the driver to "follow that ball!", but the cab screams off in the wrong direction. It's being driven by one of the Gorilla's players, and according to the posted driver credentials, it really IS his cab. In The Unmentionables, special-agent Bugs is taxi-napped by Rocky's gang in this way as he leaves FBI headquarters.
- Used a good number of times by Nick Fury in Spider-Man: The Animated Series. The cab would then turn into a hovercraft and fly back to base.
- Dimitri abducts the dowager empress this way in Anastasia and actually points out to her that he's done so.
Dowager: Ilya! Slow down!
Dmitri: I'm not Ilya. And I won't slow down, not until you listen. [He's looking over his shoulderas he says this, too.]
- In Swat Kats, Mac Mange does this to kidnap Mayor Manx and Ms. Briggs. He gives himself away instantly due to his crummy driving.
- A comedic variant was used in X-Men: Evolution: Kitty has just gotten her learner's permit and is eager to drive. Throughout the episode, Professor X obliges several different X-Men (Jean, Scott, Storm, and Wolverine) to take her driving—with near disastrous results. At the end of the episode, Professor X asks "Logan" to drive back to the mansion, only to discover Kitty in the driver's seat.
- Parodied in The Venture Bros.. Not only does Dr. Venture not notice his driver is the 8-foot gray-skinned guy with a metal jaw we went to college with, but he doesn't even notice when Phantom Limb begins gloating about the kidnapping over television screen (he's too busy listening to his Walkman). Fortunately for Dr. Venture, they put the knockout gas in the front seat.
- Later in the same episode, Dr. Venture gets into the same cab with the same poorly disguised driver - and no, he still doesn't notice.
- The Simpsons: Homer and Bart are specifically told not to go into unlicensed cabs in Brazil, advice which they of course ignore. They end up with not a normal cab driver, but a kidnapper.
Driver: My American friend, I'm afraid this is a kidnapping.
Homer: So that means I don't have to pay the fare?
Driver: Well, I suppose -
Homer: Woo-hoo!
Driver: I'm afraid you don't appreciate the seriousness of the situation.
Homer: Fine, take me, but please let the boy go.
Driver: I'm afraid he's already gone.
Homer: (turns to see Bart walking off) D'oh!
- Parodied in Family Guy, and lampshaded by a speech in which the real driver demonstrates how easily he gets knocked out.
- Filmation The New Adventures of Superman episode "Luthor Strikes Again". After Jimmy Olsen gets into a cab, steel plates slide up covering the windows, trapping him inside. It turns out to be a trap set by Lex Luthor.
Real Life
- This tactic was used, unsuccessfully, by the Gotti crime family to do away with radio host, founder of the Guardian Angels and witness in a then-upcoming murder trial Curtis Sliwa. He was badly wounded, but managed to escape the specially-rigged taxi cab.
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