Fanfic / Sorrowful and Immaculate Hearts
Sorrowful and Immaculate Hearts
is a DC Universe
fan fiction series/setting by Unpretty.
It began with stories focusing on the two Marthas — Superman
's mother Martha Kent and Batman
's mother Martha Wayne — and later expanded to include stories exploring the personalities of their respective sons and other related characters.
The initial stories are "Wayne Manor", in which Alfred Pennyworth becomes butler to the Wayne family and learns that there's much more to Martha Wayne than meets the eye, and "Empty Graves", in which time-traveling assassins who aim to kill Clark Kent when he's little and defenseless discover that he is in fact very
well defended. Other stories include "Gotham High", in which teenaged Bruce Wayne finds himself accidentally acquiring friends and a social life, "Third Wheel", in which Bruce Wayne visits Metropolis for the first time and makes the acquaintance of its two finest newshounds, "Christmas in Kansas", in which Clark Kent invites his friends Bruce and Diana home for Christmas, and "Arm Candy", an exploration of Bruce Wayne and the women who surround him at parties, along with numerous shorter works.
Rather than being set in any particular version of the DC Universe, the stories are set in a continuity of their own, which draws elements from the comics as well as adaptations such as the DCAU
, The Dark Knight Trilogy
, Suicide Squad
, and the Arrowverse
Stories, scene fragments, and author's notes appear first on Unpretty's tumblr blog, with sufficiently story-shaped bits subsequently archived on AO3
This series contains examples of:
- Abusive Parents: Thomas Wayne's father was physically and emotionally abusive, according to what Thomas lets slip in "Wayne Manor".
- Accidental Misnaming: When Alfred first meets Martha Wayne, she calls him "Shillingsweight" and "Pennywork". An invoked instance, because she's not nearly as bubble-brained as she chooses to appear, and once she decides to let him know it, she never gets his name wrong again.
- Amazingly Embarrassing Parents: Martha Kent shamelessly telling Bruce and Diana embarrassing stories about Clark's childhood in "Christmas in Kansas".
- A Mind Is a Terrible Thing to Read: In "Unpaid Internship":
Flash: Do you think if I asked J'onn he'd read Batman's mind to find out where it came from?
J'onn: I would not... Ethical issues aside, exploring Batman's mind is extremely unpleasant. I would prefer to be able to enjoy the rest of my day.
- Anachronic Order: "Arm Candy". The second chapter is set about a year after the first, but after that each chapter is set earlier than the ones preceding it.
- Animal Eye Spy: Catwoman can see through the eyes of cats and influence their behavior (but only one cat at a time and only while her own body is unconscious).
- Animal Motifs: In "Wayne Manor", Betsy Strazds claims she can look at a person and tell what animal symbolizes their spirit and destiny. In this continuity, that's the origin of Fish Mooney's nickname. She also tells Alfred that he's a wolf, and that lone wolves don't thrive, foreshadowing that he will align himself with the Wayne family.
- Animal-Themed Superbeing:
- Batman is his usual bat-themed but not actually bat-powered self.
- This version of Catwoman has some kind of supernatural affinity with cats, in a package deal that includes enhanced night vision and discreet fangs.
- The Anti-Nihilist: Bruce's outlook on life, touched on briefly in "Christmas In Kansas":
He was a very particular kind of cynic. He did not think, but knew, that true love was a real and tangible thing. True love looked like bloodless hands trapped together by rigor mortis, true love sounded like a man's will to live escaping through his throat, true love tasted like copper and bile. Anything less was a pale imitation settled for by people who didn't know any better.
- Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: In "Wayne Manor", eight-year-old Bruce starts outlining an enthusiastic vision of his next birthday party, then starts considering likely consequences and concludes that it would probably end with guests seriously injured, the entire Wayne family in jail, "and all the food would be ruined."
- Ascended Fanboy: Kyle Raynor. Notably, the fact that he was a fanboy at all is something he is loath to admit, largely because it involved a DeviantArt account and lots of embarrassing fanart of Superman.
- Awesome Anachronistic Apparel: Martha Wayne's fifties-chic outfits.
- Badass Adorable:
- Diana is a centuries-old magical warrior who is charmingly conscientious about learning the ins and outs of the world of men and unironically enthusiastic about cute baby animals, emojis and animal-ear hoodies.
- Bruce can be adorable on the very rare occasions he lets his guard down. The scene in "Stolen Moments" where it's just him and the cat is an example.
- Badass and Baby: In "Unpaid Internship", Batman saves the world while looking after a toddler.
- Bavarian Fire Drill: Discussed in "Third Wheel".
The trick to being in places where she didn't belong was to look as if she belonged there. Lois was very good at looking like she belonged places. At least once someone she had never met assumed she was their boss. She was still a bit smug about that.
- Bi the Way: So Bruce claims in "Third Wheel", though he still claims to be only a 1 or 1.4 on the Kinsey Scale
- The Big Damn Kiss: Bruce and Diana's First Kiss in "Christmas in Kansas".
- Bilingual Dialogue: Bruce has a pretend one with a cat in "Stolen Moments".
"I know, I know. I should have realized there'd be onions."
"You think I don't know?"
"I saw him eat a whole onion, once. Raw. Like an apple."
- Blasphemous Boast: In "Arm Candy", when one of Bruce's girl friends makes a comment about not wanting to cause unnecessary expense:
Bruce: I have more money than God.
Tara: Does God have a lot of money?
Bruce: No. He's not a capitalist. That's the other guy.
Tara: Do you have more money than the devil?
Bruce: Not yet, but I'm working on it.
- Blatant Lies: Everything Bruce tells himself in "Give and Take" about how he absolutely isn't paying special attention to Selina Kyle.
- Blessed with Suck: How Bruce views the hypervigilance that makes him The World's Greatest Detective, since it stems directly from his mental trauma and near-death experiences. It's #5 on his "Reasons I am Sad" list in "Nominal".
- Boyfriend Bluff: Low-key version in "Perfect Alibi", where Bruce rescues a woman at a party from a guy who's creeping on her by butting in to share made-up-on-the-spot reminiscences about the last party they were both at.
- Boys Like Creepy Critters: Young Bruce in "Wayne Manor" has had a succession of pet critters including a toad and a tarantula, and is on first-name terms with the owner of a Gotham pet shop specializing in reptiles and other creepy critters.
- Brainless Beauty: Martha Wayne's public persona.
- Bruce Wayne Held Hostage: Several stories have throwaway references to That Time Bruce Wayne Was Abducted By The Joker. "Third Wheel" reveals that he resolved the situation by provoking the Joker into throwing him out a window, enabling the old "Batman just happened to be swinging by and caught me" routine.
- Call-Forward: In "Wayne Manor":
"Happy people can't be murderers?"
"Only if they're fake happy." Bruce sounded very sure of himself. "Like clowns."
- The Casanova: Alfred is implied to have been one in his secret agent days (and possibly to still be one on his own time, judging by a scene in "Arm Candy").
- Catapult Nightmare: Mentioned, and averted. Bruce has been having the exact same nightmare ever since the night his parents died, and now waking up from it is no more eventful than waking up for any other reason.
- Catch-Phrase: Bruce Wayne is very prone to calling things he isn't fond of "a menace to society".
- Character Witness: In "Perfect Alibi", Bruce rescues a woman from being creeped on at a party; later on, when he needs an alibi, she immediately volunteers herself. She doesn't even know that what he was really doing was fighting crime as Batman, just that Bruce Wayne is a thoroughly decent human being who once helped her out of an unpleasant situation, and that's enough reason to return the favor.
- Chick Magnet: Bruce, naturally, whether he wants to be or not. This causes problems for him because it also applies to supervillains (even when he is Batman) and in one case a baby duckling that he can't simply ditch because she could literally die of loneliness.
- Cleavage Window: Discussed. During a conversation about costume design in "Christmas in Kansas", Diana jokingly suggests that what Batman's (bullet-proof, heavily armored) suit is lacking is a bat-shaped cleavage window.
- Clothing Damage: Nightwing has a tendency to end up with his outfit "strategically torn" after fights.
- Collective Identity: In "Christmas in Kansas", Clark writes a report on a thinktank who have come to "the completely plausible, unassailable conclusion" that Batman is really five sewer mutants collaborating.
- Comic-Book Fantasy Casting: The author's notes on "Wayne Manor" specify that she sees Martha Wayne as played by Paget Brewster in the same mode as Sadie Doyle, and Alfred Pennyworth as late-'80s Cary Elwes.
- Cool Old Lady: Martha Kent, former road-tripping hippy. If you can make friends with the notably nonsocial Bruce, you must be cool.
- Cover Innocent Eyes and Ears:
- In "Wayne Manor", when Bruce's parents start getting flirtatious:
Bruce made another face of disgust, sticking out his tongue and scrunching up his nose. Half as a joke, Alfred put a hand in front of Bruce's eyes. He seemed to appreciate it.
- In "No Whammies", Robin's response to a discussion of Ivy's sex pollen:
Robin, frustrated, grabbed Batman's hands and pressed them against his ears. "There is an impressionable child present!"
Ivy squinted. "Is he serious?"
"I don't know." Batman attempted to reclaim his hands, and lifted Robin off the ground. Robin continued to hold Batman's hands like earmuffs, and kicked furiously at vines with both legs. "I think it's some kind of ironic meme thing."
- It's not that Bruce Wayne carries a small camera with a powerful zoom lens around with him, or even that he has a story about birdwatching ready in case he's asked what he needs it for. It's that the camera is loaded with genuine birdwatching photos in case someone calls his bluff. He also wrapped Clark's christmas presents in lead foil to prevent Present Peeking.
- Though in a curious twist, whenever Bruce Wayne pulls off some vaguely Batman-ish feat, such as catching a basketball without looking or lassoing and subduing a flying lawnmower drone that has gone rogue, he seems to think that a suitable explanation for how he can do this is "I did go to college". (He may have picked it up from Alfred, who in "Wayne Manor" uses "I took a lot of extracurriculars unrelated to my chosen vocation" as an excuse for an un-butler-like skill.)
- The Kents had assumed that sooner or later somebody would come along asking about their alien baby, and took steps to ensure Clark's safety. This included keeping cyanide in the kitchen cupboard right next to the sugar for anyone who showed up to have a "friendly" chat about Clark's potential and was dumb enough to drink the coffee. Martha was also in the habit of squirreling away the weapons of various time-traveling assassins "just in case", though these had a habit of vanishing right along with the bodies of the time-travelers and any memory thereof.
- Dating Catwoman: Batman and Catwoman.
- Deadpan Snarker: Clark Kent, under cover of being such an obvious goody-two-shoes that most people write it off as him not having realized how what he just said would sound. Lois is the one person in his regular social circle who's certain he's doing it deliberately, and it drives her up a wall. Bruce also catches on very quickly once they meet.
- Don't You Dare Pity Me!: Bruce is a lowkey example, gently but firmly deflecting anyone who asks if he's okay. He never shouts at anyone, because getting worked up about it would be a sign that he wasn't okay, and he is okay. Of course he's okay. He's a rich white single male, what reason could he possibly have for not being okay? Everything is fine.
- Dork Knight: Thomas Wayne.
- Double-Meaning Title: "Arm Candy" is obviously about the young women who hang off Bruce Wayne's arms at parties, and has a less obvious meaning that doesn't become apparent until the last chapter.
- Dramatic Irony: "Third Wheel", the story of Superman and Batman's first team-up, is told from the viewpoint of Lois Lane, who at this point is ignorant of both their secret identities, and as a result there's a lot of subtext that she misses but which is apparent to the reader.
- Dumb Is Good: Discussed in "Wayne Manor". Martha describes Thomas as "straightforward", given to doing the Right Thing without stopping to worry about whether it might have unfortunate consequences. She admires him for it, and also considers it a good thing that he has more complicated people like herself watching his back.
- Even Evil Has Standards: Batman at one point gets caught up in what amounts to a relationship argument between Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy because, for all of Joker's lingering influence, Harley vehemently disapproves of Ivy's willingness to kill all humans for Earth's benefit.
- Family Eye Resemblance: Martha Wayne's mother has "those same green eyes" as Martha; the resemblance is as much in the piercing expression as in the color.
- Family Theme Naming: In-universe, Dick names a litter of puppies Harley, Selina, and Kay (short for "Kryptonite"), and then has to come up with alternate explanations for the names suitable for sharing with people who don't know his secret identity.
- Fowl-Mouthed Parrot: Diana's anecdote in "Christmas in Kansas".
Diana: When I was young, I had a bird — some kind of parrot, I think. I doted on it at first, but as other things caught my interest I paid it less attention. Which is why I think it was revenge that it began repeating all the words I didn't want my mother to know I'd been saying. You might be interested to know that 'I'm not mad, just disappointed' is a phrase that exists on Themyscira as well.
- Fright-Induced Bunkmate: Played with in "Empty Graves". After a time traveler attempts to assassinate two-year-old Clark, Martha goes to check on him in the middle of the night, and he wakes up. Remembering what it means when he goes to his parents' bedside in the middle of the night, he asks her if she's had a nightmare and if she'd like to sleep in his bed.
- Full-Name Ultimatum: A half-joking use in "Arm Candy":
"Coretta Lee, you are being very melodramatic today."
"Oooooh," Anita said with a wince. "You got full-named."
- Futureshadowing: Several times in "Arm Candy", which is told in Anachronic Order. Most dramatically, the chronologically-final scene (which appears early in the story) has a character remark on another's new tattoo, which memorializes something that happened years earlier (in the last scene of the story).
- Gadgeteer Genius: Tim has his moments, such as turning an ordinary lawnmower into a remote controlled, flying lawnmower drone (though the "remote controlled" part still needs work and the "flying" part was an accident), and in "Anti-Social" it's hinted that he stumbled onto the Bat-Cave's signal with just a smart phone in the course of trying to find "the Good Wifi".
- Gender-Blender Name: In "Arm Candy", Dick insists on calling the dog they've rescued Steve. When Bruce points out that the dog is female, Dick amends it to "Stevette — Steve for short". And Steve she remains.
- Gilligan Cut: In "Wayne Manor", young Bruce's father offers to take him on a special excursion, as long as he keeps it a secret. Bruce confidently announces that he's the best at keeping secrets. Immediate cut to him telling his mother all about it afterward.
- Gosh Dang It to Heck!:
- Hippie Parents: Jonathan and Martha Kent are a downplayed example, having gotten their hippie days mostly behind them by the time Clark showed up.
- Homemade Sweater from Hell: In "Christmas in Kansas", Martha Kent gives everyone tacky Christmas-themed sweaters she found on sale. Diana loves hers, which has a sloth in a santa hat; Bruce hates his, but grudgingly accepts it when she cheerfully guilt-trips him about how difficult it is to find a sweater that will fit a man his size.
- Hometown Nickname: Lois calls Clark "Smallville".
- Lame Pun Reaction: In "Wayne Manor":
[Thomas Wayne] tossed [the pig's head] up enough to catch it by the neck, holding it out to look at its face. "Alas, poor Yoroink."
Despite himself, Alfred groaned.
"That's how I know it's a good one," Thomas said
- Late to the Punchline: In "AUX", Wonder Woman is bemused when Flash and Green Lantern make a double entendre about balls. Four pages and several changes of topic later, she suddenly announces, "Testicles! They were making a joke about testicles. I always forget about those."
- Love Floats: During Bruce and Diana's Big Damn Kiss in "Christmas in Kansas", Diana is so caught up in the moment that she levitates them both.
- MRS Degree: Thomas and Martha met while they were both at college, and the general public assumes that she was only at college to meet someone: "Another girl who'd gone to the Ivy League to get an Ivy League husband." In this, as in many things, the general public underestimates her, which is exactly how she wants it.
- Mythology Gag:
- Martha Wayne's comment to Alfred about leaving his genetic material all over the place.
- Martha Wayne's comment, while planning an elaborately candlelit dinner party, that the fire marshal is convinced that it's only a matter of time before Wayne Manor burns down during one of her parties.
- Martha Wayne's preferred source for flowers is Alec Holland.
- One of eight-year-old Bruce's friends is Andrea Beaumont.
- In contrast to her partial inspiration Sadie Doyle, Martha Wayne can't hold her liquor and prefers not to drink alcohol if she can avoid it.
- In the Scrapbook Story "Bad Publicity", a photograph identified in-universe as "the mansion from that made-for-tv movie [about the Wayne family]" is Wikipedia's photo of the mansion that represented Wayne Manor in The Dark Knight Rises.
- In "Christmas in Kansas", there's a scene where Bruce reflects on the way re-enactments of his parents' murder have settled on a standard narrative that is actually inaccurate in several important respects; as described, it's the version established by Frank Miller and copied by most subsequent retellings, complete with the evocative detail of Martha's necklace breaking.
- In "Arm Candy", Clark goes gooey over one of Dick's puppies, and Dick decides they should name the puppy Kryptonite — or maybe shorten it a bit...
- In "Let's Dance", when it looks like Batman may have to remove his cowl:
- Non-Indicative Name: In "Christmas in Kansas", Jonathan tells an anecdote about a guy who was called One-Eyed Danny even though he had both eyes. "Ought to have called him No-Legs Danny, but there's no accounting for nicknames."
- Noodle Incident:
- In "Let's Dance", Batman saves the day with his knowledge of ballet, and cuts his Justice League colleagues off when they start to make fun of him by listing the embarrassing things he knows about them: "Volleyball in Cabo, the library at Gotham Academy, the Eggplant Debacle, Joe's missing sweater, the Iguana Talk." Some of these are explained in other stories (the Iguana Talk is a callback to one of Martha Kent's embarrassing stories about Clark's childhood in "Christmas in Kansas", the Gotham Academy library incident occurs in "Gotham High"), while others remain noodly.
- "Christmas In Kansas" sees Jonathan alluding to a man named One-Eyed Danny who died years ago "after that thing with the cats". The man's name is also an example, since Jonathan can't recall how a man with both eyes but no legs got the nickname "One-Eyed Danny".
- Not a Morning Person: Bruce, on account of all the late nights he pulls.
Amy: You don't look dead. Just grumpy.
Bruce: That's because no one should be taking selfies this early.
Amy: It's 10:30.
- Not Listening to Me, Are You?: In "Third Wheel", Bruce Wayne and Lois Lane go out on a date, but Lois gets distracted because a crooked politician she's currently investigating is having a dinner meeting in the same restaurant. The outlandish statement Bruce uses to test Lois's attention is that he thinks he's seen Superman on Grindr.
- Not My Driver: Discussed in "Third Wheel". When Bruce Wayne picks Lois up for their interview/date, she comments on the fact that he's driving himself instead of being chauffeured, and he explains that because he's a big kidnap target he never lets himself get driven by anyone he doesn't know personally.
Bruce: I take limos in Gotham, where I know the limo service, and I know the chauffeur. If I start visiting Metropolis more often, I might vet a driver. For now, it's easier to drive. Even if it looks like I'm overcompensating.
- One Steve Limit: In "Christmas in Kansas", everyone is careful to address Clark's mother as "Mrs. Kent" instead of "Martha"; the in-story reason is that nobody wants to ruin Bruce's holiday by repeatedly reminding him of his mother, but it also helps avoid confusion for the reader. Jonathan gets around it by calling her "Marty".
- Present Peeking: In "Christmas in Kansas":
Clark: Did you put lead foil around these boxes?
Bruce: The fact that you can tell means I was justified.
- Race Lift: Part of Selina Kyle's outsider status is that she has mixed (part-Latina) ancestry.
- "Rashomon"-Style: The various re-enactments of the night the Waynes were murdered all get several details wrong (Thomas was shot first, Martha screamed, both died instantly, etc.) and Bruce has never once bothered to correct them; Bad enough he sees it in his nightmares. In "Christmas In Kansas" we the readers get to see both the commonly-believed retelling of that night, and Bruce's own first-hand account.
- Really 700 Years Old: Diana is centuries old, but everyone has trouble remembering it because she doesn't look her age, nor act it (her enthusiasm about discovering new things they didn't have on Themiscyra makes her seem a lot younger).
- Refuge in Audacity: In "Hostile Work Environment" Clark and Lois get caught snooping around in LexCorp's offices. Clark very subtly goads Lois into insinuating that they were sneaking into that office for "other reasons", much to Lois's chagrin. And the more she insists it's Not What It Looks Like, the more that's exactly what it looks like. The guard buys it and lets them off with little more than a warning, meanwhile Lois swears bloody vengeance on Clark.
- Ripple Effect-Proof Memory: "Empty Graves" has a downplayed example where, once Martha has taken steps to prevent a Bad Future coming about, she no longer consciously remembers the old timeline (so that, for instance, she remembers having decided that Clark needs to take acting lessons even though she no longer recalls that she decided this after catching a glimpse of a future in which he never had a secret identity). However, some subconscious traces of memory linger, such that when something seems off she goes for the shotgun without really knowing why.
- Right Behind Me: In "Third Wheel", Lois is venting to Clark about how she thinks her time is wasted on an assignment to write about Bruce Wayne's visit to Gotham:
Lois: I'll shake his hand, I'll ask him some questions, I'll extrapolate into an article about how he's well-meaning but naive, or a shallow manwhore, or a spoiled prettyboy, or—
[realizes Clark is very carefully not looking at something behind her]
Lois: —a really nice, kind, forgiving person who's really very interesting—
Bruce: I liked the other ones better.
- Rubber-Band History: In "Empty Graves", the efforts of the various time travelers result in the familiar timeline in which Clark Kent grows up to be Superman.
- Rule of Pool: "Arm Candy" opens with a party taking place around a pool. In the fourth paragraph, someone gets pushed into the pool fully-clothed after making an egocentric remark.
- Running Gag: In "Christmas in Kansas", Clark's parents considering Diana one of the youngsters and her reminding them she's actually older than they are.
- Scrapbook Story:
- "Bad Publicity" is told entirely in tweets.
- "Gotham's Favorite Son" is told in Tumblr posts.
- "Anti-Social" is told in chat logs, Tumblr posts, and transcripts of Youtube and Snapchat videos.
- "Nominal" is told in chat logs and screenshots of Bruce Wayne's computer.
- Screw the Rules, I Have Money!: Bruce Wayne is not averse to throwing his weight around to help his friends out.
One of the many advantages of being Bruce Wayne was a free pass to ignore all rules of polite society.
- Setting Update: Not so much the stories set in the modern day, since superhero comics are always set in the present day, but the backstories, as a result of the series having a firm timeline instead of going by Comic-Book Time. It's a bit weird to read about Bruce's grandmother keeping her maiden name when she married, or his mother being qualified in DNA testing.
- "Wayne Manor" contains several shout-outs to The Princess Bride in the scenes where Alfred is teaching Bruce to fence.
- Matches Malone, the identity Batman assumes to make contacts in the seedier part of Gotham, is basically Bruce doing an impression of Peter Falk as Columbo, in-universe as well. When he's explaining to Robin how that came about (the short version is that he had to invent a cover story on the spot, and that's what came to mind), he briefly slips into the story-telling mannerisms of the grandfather in The Princess Bride, who is also played by Peter Falk.
- Catwoman stories have a tendency to include Indiana Jones shout-outs, what with the whip and the recurring topic of things that belong in museums.
- Clark's chat handle is "MajorTom".
- Dick's chat handle is "FineMess"; the scene that reveals this also has him making a shout-out to Abbott and Costello.
- Tim's chat handle is "DreadPirateDrake", for another Princess Bride reference, and his chat icon is the Pirate's Nemesis from Hark! A Vagrant.
- In "Anti-Social", Bruce inadvertantly acquires a rat after being dumped in a dumpster by Poison Ivy. He names it Templeton.
- Harley's pet hyaenas are named Laverne & Shirley.
- In "No Whammies", Nightwing has a tendency to Clothing Damage that is explicitly compared to James Kirk's.
- "Stolen Moments" reveals that Bruce has names for all the stray cats that live in the woods behind Wayne Manor. Names like "Mistoffelees" and "Jennyanydots".
- Bruce quotes from The Lord of the Rings when he thinks nobody is around to hear him.
- In "Arm Candy", Alex's cat is named after an Invader Zim character.
- In "Nominal", Bruce mentions playing Neko Atsume and complains about Tim using the monitor setup in the Batcave to watch "cartoons about gay rocks".
- A Simple Plan: The plan — Tim gets Bruce to give him a lift to Walmart so he can buy a surprise gift for Alfred. The result — well, put it this way: the title is "Bruce Wayne Banned From Walmart".
- Speaks Fluent Animal: Diana.
- Spotting the Thread: How Martha Wayne knows that Alfred is not really a butler.
- Stealth Hi/Bye: In "Wayne Manor", eight-year-old Bruce is already good enough at this to catch out Alfred despite the latter's background as a secret agent.
- Stealth Insult: Clark Kent's style of writing articles involves carefully arranging objective facts in such a way as to imply unflattering things about people he doesn't like. In "Third Wheel" Bruce immediately catches Clark's insinuation that the reason both Batman and Scarecrow are in Metropolis at the same time as Bruce is that they both secretly want to have sex with him, and by the time of "Christmas In Kansas" he makes a point of reading Clark's articles about Batman just to find all the new ways Clark has come up with to insult him that nobody else would notice.
- Sure, Let's Go with That: In "Arm Candy", Dick names a varicolored puppy "Harley" after Harley Quinn; when one of his muggle friends asks if he named it after the motorcycle, he agrees that that's exactly what he did.
- The Swear Jar: Martha Kent knows a lot of words you wouldn't expect to hear from Clark Kent's ma. In "Christmas in Kansas", Jonathan recalls that when Clark was little he instituted a swear jar for her — only instead of putting money in, she had to take out a slip of paper and do whatever task was written on it. (Judging by the reminiscent look they both get at this point, the tasks weren't just things like "Do the washing up" or "Take the trash out".)
- The Talk: "Christmas in Kansas" mentions the Talk Martha gave Clark when he was a teen. It was apparently horrifyingly thorough, both because Martha had personal reasons for wanting to cover the full range on human possibilities, and because she felt obliged in Clark's case to cover the inhuman possibilities as well. "All I know's the birds and the bees, for all I knew you were an iguana."
- Timmy in a Well: Played with in "Stolen Moments"; Selina gets a cat to lead Alfred to something she wants him to see by stealing his pocket square and running off with it.
- Transsexual: Word of God is that several characters in this version of the DCU are trans, in a proportion appropriate to reality. Two that have appeared in person are Tim Drake (explicitly stated in "Anti-Social", which contrasts how the subject is handled by Bruce and by Tim's father) and Jonathan Kent (hinted at in "Empty Graves" and heavily implicit in various details of "Christmas in Kansas").
- Uncanny Valley: Mentioned by name in "Christmas In Kansas"; Bruce's "photo-op smile" looks fine enough in newspapers, but less so in person due to a combination of unnaturally perfect teeth (since they're actually veneers due to constantly having to get his teeth fixed) and the fact that he's obviously putting on an act.
- Under the Mistletoe: Diana and Bruce in "Christmas in Kansas". Bruce points out that carrying the mistletoe in your pocket and bringing it out at an appropriate moment is cheating, but he kisses her anyway.
- The Unsmile: Bruce Wayne, funnily enough, has two; a generically pleasant, toothy grin that doesn't quite reach his eyes which he trots out for photographers and thoroughly unnerves everyone else, and a crooked half-smirk that looks like his mouth curling at the edges which is his real smile.
- Wanton Cruelty to the Common Comma: "Christmas in Kansas" has an in-universe example: Clark's favorite soda as a child was a local brand called "Tuckers Straw'berry Cream". At the end of the fic, Bruce buys the rights and recipe and puts it back into production as a gift to Clark, but insists on correcting the punctuation. "That apostrophe was a menace to society."
- Whip It Good: Catwoman.