Guns, Girls and Gambling is a 2012 American action crime thriller film written and directed by Michael Winnick. The film stars an ensemble cast, which includes Gary Oldman, Christian Slater, Megan Park, Helena Mattsson, Tony Cox, Chris Kattan, Powers Boothe, Michael and Eddie Spears, and Jeff Fahey.
A priceless Indian artifact has been stolen during a high stakes poker game at an Indian reservation casino. The race is on as a bunch of Elvis Impersonators, Cowboys, Indians, a 6 foot-tall blond assassin, a frat boy, a pair of corrupt sheriffs, a prostitute and the girl next door attempt to recover the stolen mask. No one is who they seem, everyone is a suspect and anyone could have done anything. So hold onto your hats and button up your britches, the Cowboys and Indians are ready to ride again!
Tropes:
- Affectionate Pickpocket: While locked in the jail cell, Vivian comes on to Sheriff Cowley and hugs him. After he walks off, leaving her in the cell, she reveals that she lifted his keys off him while she was hugging him.
- Alliterative Title: Guns, Girls and Gambling
- Boom, Headshot!: The Cowboy kills Redfoot and Dark Eyes with simultaneous head shots through the windscreen of John Smith's car via Guns Akimbo.
- Briefcase Full of Money: After she secures the mask, The Blonde demands that both The Chief and The Rancher come to the station with $1,000,000 in cash. The both comply and each arrives with a briefcase containing the specified amount.
- Brick Joke: When Redfoot and Dark Eyes are dragging John Smith out of The Casino, Smith threatens to yell for help. They point at the only person in the parking lot is a college kid and ask what he thinks The College Kid is going to do; crush a beer can with his forehead? Later, Smith realises that The College Kid has been following and confronts him, only for The College Kid hit him in the head with a beer can and knock him down. As The Girl Next Door helps him up, he angrily complains that The College Kid just crushed a beer can on his forehead.
- By "No", I Mean "Yes":...And by 'doctor', I mean 'lesbian prostitute'.
- Carnival of Killers: A motley cluster of outlaws, fortune hunters, assassins, frat-boys, Elvis impersonators, and 21st Century cowboys seek a prized Apache war mask that's been swiped from an Indian casino.
- Camping a Crapper: The Blonde ambushes Gay Elvis while he is sitting on the toilet in the restroom of the train station.
- The Can Kicked Him: Gay Elvis is assassinated by The Blonde while he is sitting on the toilet in the restroom of the train station.
- The Casino: The action starts at The Chief's casino on the Rez, when the Apache war mask is stolen from his office.
- Classy Cane: The Rancher carries a cane with silver wolf's head for a handle to compliment his Light Is Not Good white suit.
- Combat Stilettos: The Blonde has no trouble moving and fighting in six inch stiletto heels, even running up the wall and jumping over The Indian when he has her arms pinned during their climatic fight.
- Couldn't Find a Pen: After killing Elvis Elvis and The College Kid, The Blonde leaves a message for The Chief and The Rancher written in their blood on a roll of toilet paper which she drapes across their bodies.
- Couple Theme Naming: A very subtle one. It is established that the real name of the Professional Killer known as The Blonde is Annabel. When it is revealed that she used to be romantically involved with John Smith, she addresses him as 'Lee'. This means that when they were together, they were 'Annabel Lee': the title of a poem by Edgar Allan Poe which she keeps quoting.
- Daddy's Little Villain:The Girl Next Door is actually The Rancher's daughter, and has been manipulating John Smith the entire time in order to secure the mask for her father.
- Death by Irony: Multiple characters comment on the irony of Gay Elvis being shot to death while sitting on the toilet.
- Dirty Cop: Dryrock has two sheriffs and both of them are corrupt. Sheriff Hutchins is in the pocket of The Chief, and Sheriff Cowley is on the payroll of The Rancher.
- Elvis Impersonator: John Smith is down on his luck. His girlfriend left him for a doctor. A hooker steals his wallet at an Apache Reservation casino. He loses an Elvis Impersonation contest and later loses at poker with the four other impersonators: Gay Elvis, Little Person Elvis, Asian Elvis, and contest winner Elvis Elvis. John is later apprehended by casino security, who think he stole a priceless ancient Apache mask from "The Chief", owner of the casino, with witnesses having seen an Elvis impersonator. The guards deduce that John didn't take it, so The Chief offers him $1,000,000 to find it.
- Everyone Calls Him "Barkeep"/Only Known by Their Nickname: Of the main characters, only the Sheriffs (Hutchins and Cowley), Vivian and (possibly) Mr. Crow are consistently addressed by their actual names. Everybody else is referred to by a nickname (e.g. Mo, Redfoot and Dark Eyes), a physical description (The Blonde), a job title (The Chief, The Rancher, The College Kid), a self-given title (The Cowboy, The Indian), a description based on where they first appeared (The Girl Next Door), or , the case of the Elvis Impersonators, the name Elvis which an additional descriptor (Asian, Gay, Little Person, and Elvis).
- Everything Is Racist: Asian Elvis turns everything that anyone says to him—but especially John Smith—as a racist remark.
- Extremely Short Timespan: Three days. Following the In Medias Res opening, John Smith's narration starts to explain How We Got Here and flashes back to 'Yesterday', before deciding that was a bad place to start, and then flashing back further to 'The Day Before Yesterday'.
- Fat, Sweaty Southerner in a White Suit: Powers Boothe isn't especially fat, but everything else about the The Rancher fits the bill: he is a Small-Town Tyrant who controls everything not on the reservation and dresses in a white suit and cowboy hat.
- Guns Akimbo: The Blonde, The Cowboy and Little Person Elvis all like to wield a pistol in each hand in combat. The Blonde and The Cowboy are devastating shooting like this; Little Person Elvis less so.
- The Gunslinger: The Blonde is The Woo: dual wielding twin Glock 17s and diving and flipping through gunfights. The Cowboy is the Quick Draw: packing a pair of Colt Peacemakers in a fast draw rig and lethally accurate with either hand.
- Gun Twirling: The Cowboy, being The Gunslinger, uses a pair of Colt Peacemakers Guns Akimbo. After shooting someone, he always twirls the guns around his fingers before holstering them.
- Hood Hornament: In keeping with his title, The Rancher is chauffeured around in a white stretch limo with a set of longhorn horns mounted on the front.
- How We Got Here: Opens with an Elvis Impersonator at a bus stop in the middle of the desert. He boards an empty bus, but is followed by a Statuesque Stunner in a Spy Catsuit wielding twin Glock 17s and gunfire ensues. The action then halts and John Smith's narration starts to explain how this unusual situation came to be.
- Humiliation Conga: John Smith is down on his luck. His girlfriend left him for a doctor. A hooker steals his wallet at an Apache Reservation casino. He loses an Elvis Impersonation contest and later loses at poker with the four other impersonators: Gay Elvis, Little Person Elvis, Asian Elvis, and contest winner Elvis Elvis. John is later apprehended by casino security, who think he stole a priceless ancient Apache mask from "The Chief", owner of the casino, with witnesses having seen an Elvis impersonator.
- Improbable Weapon User: The College Kid attacks John Smith and takes him down with a beer can.
- Insistent Terminology: Every time addresses Tony Cox's character as 'Midget Elvis', he angrily tells them the correct term is 'Little Person Elvis'.
- I Own This Town: The Rancher says this almost word for word:The Rancher: I own this town. Several others just like it, most of the land in-between. Government says I can't own the Indian Reservation, but that doesn't matter, that's worthless anyway.
- Light Is Not Good: The Rancher, a Faux Affably Evil Small-Town Tyrant who is the most ruthless character in the movie, dresses entirely in white and rides around in a white stretch limo complete with Hood Hornament.
- Look Behind You: This is The Girl Next Door's go-to tactic for distracting people. It even gets Lampshaded in the dialogue:John Smith: "Look behind you!"? What are you three for three with that?
The Girl Next Door: Four for four. But to be fair, three of the four times, there was actually someone behind them. - Mr. Smith: The protagonist is called John Smith. This has the disadvantages of both sounding like an obvious alias, and carrying unfortunate implications related to the historical John Smith
when dealing with Native Americans. While the name is an alias, it is actually the real name of the man Lee stole the ID off. - Native American Casino: The Chief runs the casino on the Apache reservation for the sole purpose of taking money off white people. He believes his success is the result of the mystical war mask he keeps in his office, so when it is stolen, he offers $1,000,000 for its return.
- New Old West: The opening narration even lampshades how this is a story about cowboys versus Indians.
- Non-Indicative Name: John Smith keeps pointing out 'The Girl Next Door' is inaccurate descriptor for Cindy because he doesn't actually live in the apartment where she first met him. It is later revealed that she doesn't live in the building either.
- Not My Driver: During the In Medias Res opening, Elvis Elvis boards the bus and passes the bus driver who is getting off. It is only when the How We Got Here narration reaches this point in the story that the audience realises the bus driver is actually The College Kid.
- Percussive Pickpocket: At the end of the film, it is revealed that 'John Smith' is not Smith's real name. It is an identity he got by stealing the wallet—and the ID—of the man he bumped into in The Casino at the start of the film.
- Professional Killer: The Cowboy, The Indian and The Blonde are all professional killers working for different factions seeking the mask.
- Punk in the Trunk: When ordered to get rid of John Smith, Redfoot and Dark Eyes drag him out of The Casino and throw him into the boot of his car. When he eventually wakes up and cuts his way free, he finds Redfoot and Dark Eyes dead in the front seat.
- Quick Draw: The Cowboy describes himself as a quick draw. He does this after he draws and guns down the two Sheriffs who are aiming shotguns at him so fast that they have no chance to react.The Indian: Careful Sheriff. I hear he's a pretty good shot.
(Two shots ring out and the Sheriffs fall over. everyone still standing turns to look at The Cowboy who twirls his guns and puts them back in his holsters)
The Cowboy: I'm also a quick draw. This town wasn't big enough for the both of them. Either of them. Hell any of them. - Ransacked Room: John Smith and The Girl Next Door arrive at Asian Elvis's apartment and find the door kicked in and the apartment trashed by those searching for the mask.
- Repetitive Name: The Elvis Impersonator who wins the contest (and steals the mask) is only ever referred to Elvis Elvis.
- Revolvers Are Just Better: The Cowboy uses a pair of Colt Single Action Army revolvers and is at least as good as the film's other gunslinger The Blonde who wields twin Glock 17s. The Blonde's only advantage is the Glocks' higher ammo capacity, but as The Cowboy specialises in the Instant Death Bullet, this isn't really an advantage at all.
- Ripped from the Phone Book: Having discovered the Asian Elvis's real name in the Elvis Elvis's apartment, John Smith goes straight to a nearby phone booth and looks him up in the phone book, then rips the page out to have his address.
- She-Fu: When forced into hand-to-hand combat with The Indian, The Blonde employs a combat style that uses a lot of flexibility and high kicks.
- Small-Town Tyrant: The Chief is a Native American crime boss who runs The Casino on the Rez. His arch-rival is The Rancher, a Fat, Sweaty Southerner in a White Suit who controls everything not on the reservation.
- Spy Catsuit: The Blonde is a Statuesque Stunner Professional Killer who spends the entire film in a low-cut black bodysuit and Combat Stilettos.
- Statuesque Stunner: The Blonde, a Professional Killer dressed in a cleavage-baring Spy Catsuit and utilizing a lot of She-Fu, stands eye to eye with John Smith: meaning she is at least 5'8".
- Verbal Tic: The Blonde really likes use the poem "Annabel Lee" by Edgar Allan Poe as a way of introduction, saying a part of it as she walks up to someone with a gun at the ready. Turns out that the poem has a deeper meaning than it first looks: it's part of her relationship with John Smith.
- Vehicular Sabotage: John Smith cuts the water hose of Elvis Elvis's Cadillac, causing the car to overheat and strand him on the desert highway.
- Weapon-Based Characterization: The Indian specializes in using tomahawks to carry out his assassinations as a tribute to and celebration of his Native American heritage.
