Film / The Long Good Friday
"The Mafia? Hah! I've shit 'em."

I have rarely seen a movie character so completely alive. Shand is an evil, cruel, sadistic man. But he's a mass of contradictions, and there are times when we understand him so completely we almost feel affectionate. He's such a character, such an overcompensating Cockney, sensitive to the slightest affront, able to strike fear in the hearts of killers, but a pushover when his mistress raises her voice to him.

British gangster film starring Bob Hoskins as Harold Shand, an old-school London Gangster planning to make the leap from organised crime to legitimate business with the financial aid of some American Legitimate Businessmen and some potentially lucrative property details. Success is within his grasp when a mysterious group of hitmen start targeting Harold and his organisation, executing two of Harold's closest accomplices and bombing several of his businesses.

His deal threatened, Harold starts to use all his muscle and contacts to try and find out who's attacking him — but when it starts to look as if betrayal could be coming from close to home and prior dodgy dealings might be coming back to bite him, it becomes clear that it's going to be a very long Easter weekend for Harold Shand.

This film provides examples of:

  • Abhorrent Admirer: Victoria develops one in Jeff.
  • Affably Evil: Harold Shand as it would appear at first (and in certain instances seems genuine), but when he realises the threat of the situation, this façade begins to fade - see Faux Affably Evil below.
  • Anti-Hero: Harold is introduced as an affable crook and loving husband who is trying to establish a legitimate business deal while under attack from a ruthless and mysterious aggressor. As the film progresses, however, it becomes clear that he's just a thug who is no better than the people after him.
  • Ax-Crazy: The opinion of everyone sane (the detectives, the Mafia) of the IRA.
  • Bolivian Army Ending: The last scene has Harold being driven off at gunpoint by the IRA to be killed.
  • The Brute: Razors, Harold's gangland enforcer.
  • Bullying a Dragon: Despite being told that even the British Army haven't managed to beat the IRA, Harold is ready to go to war with them. He also tells a New York mafia boss to go fuck himself at the end of the film.
  • The Caligula: Harold starts off as amiable, even charming, but as his grasp on the situation slips he becomes a lot more vicious.
  • Cool Car: Harold's gold Rolls-Royce Silver Shadow with whitewall tyres, registration: HS 10. After it gets blown up, he rides around in a swish dark blue Jaguar XJ 6. Jeff also has a classic red early-1970s Mercedes 280SL.
  • Corrupt Politician: Councillor Harris.
  • Creator Cameo: The IRA driver whose menacing eyes are seen in the rear-view mirror at the end of the film was played by the director, John Mackenzie.
  • Dark Mistress: Victoria (Helen Mirren) is an unusually posh, well-bred version of this, who played Lacrosse at school with Princess Anne. She acts as something of an adviser to him.
  • Did You Actually Believe...?: Averted. After double-crossing and attempting to destroy the IRA gangster operation in London, Shand is kidnapped by gunmen in the final scene of the film. Neither he nor his captors speak, but one gunman smirks at him. It's pretty clear from the smirks what they're thinking.
  • Dirty Cop: Parky, a senior Met police officer on Harold's payroll (probably a Detective Inspector or Detective Chief Inspector)
  • Dramatic Irony
    Harold: It's like f**king Belfast on a bad night!
  • Even Bad Men Love Their Mommas: Harold's mother is almost killed via car bomb. Naturally, he's furious.
  • Even Evil Has Loved Ones: It's clear that Harold does love Victoria and is beside himself when he almost strikes her. He's also quite upset when Colin is killed.
  • Evil Versus Evil: It's London Gangsters vs the Irish Republican Army. Needless to say, there are no heroes in this battle.
  • Fatal Flaw: Pride. Once everyone else figures out who the Irish gang actually are, they urge Harold to let them have their pound of flesh to settle the grievance and have done with it. But Harold Shand can't comprehend anyone other than him calling the shots in London. This will come back to bite him.
  • Faux Affably Evil: Harold would like to present himself as Affably Evil, but it quickly becomes clear he's got quite a sadistic streak and a bad temper that only gets more pronounced as the movie goes on.
  • Gayngster: One of Harold's murdered friends turns out to be one of these. Harold actually seems relatively okay with it, considering.
  • Grievous Bottley Harm: Harold makes particularly graphic use of a bottle against Jeff when his bad day finally explodes into a brief, furious frenzy; first he smashes the bottle over his victim's head, then he brutally stabs him in the neck with the jagged end. The sight of blood spraying out of his friend's throat soon calms him down.
  • Hair-Trigger Temper/Hot-Blooded: Harold will go off at the drop of a hat. And it only gets worse as things get more stressful.
  • Homage: The final scene of Harold being taken to his implied death is a homage to the ending of Performance.
  • The Irish Mob: Subverted. Harold thinks that's who he's dealing with, but in reality it's the I.R.A. The kicker is once everyone realises who they are and try to warn him, he continues to treat them as he would the average mobster.
  • Just a Gangster: Subverted. Shand thinks he's experiencing a case of this- suspecting treason from his men and believing The Irish Mob is attempting to muscle in. However, he's actually being targeted by the IRA during The Troubles.
  • Large Ham: Bob Hoskins is excellent but it's not exactly an understated performance (for the most part). Even Harold himself is something of a large ham when he's giving an overblown speech to the guests on his yacht, with the Tower Bridge behind him.
  • Leave the Camera Running: An excellent example in the final scene; just a close-up on Bob Hoskins' face as he silently conveys everything that Harold is thinking as he's 'taken for a drive'. You can practically see the entire movie play out in his head.
  • Legitimate Businessmen's Social Club: It's pretty clear who the American businessmen Harold is working with are really The Mafia.
  • London Gangster: Harold fancies himself the top dog of all gangsters in London.
  • The Mafia: Harold is trying to come to an agreement with them.
  • The Napoleon: Harold, obviously.
  • Not My Driver: Thought you got away with it, didn't you Harold? Your 'chauffeurs' beg to differ.
  • Oh, Crap!: In a nice bit of Foreshadowing, Jeff has this reaction when the landlord of Harold's pub mentions a pair of Irishman arriving.
  • The Oner: The final shot holds on Harold Shand as he's driven away, replaying the events of the last few days in his head. We see him run the gamut of emotions as everything becomes clear to him.
  • Outside-Genre Foe: Harold assumes that he's under attack from a rival gang, and is baffled by the fact that it's the IRA. His advisers warn him that the IRA belong to a completely different world than him, and not to treat them like another group of thugs.
  • Pet the Dog:
    • Colin is found dead in a swimming pool. When the owner suggests closing the establishment, Harold insists on keeping it open ("Let 'em enjoy their holiday").
    • A less wholesome variation of, the "dog" being a gang of delinquent street kids who have "minded" Harold's Jaguar (instead of vandalising it). Knowingly, he indulges the pre-adolescent boys with some cash to go and get drunk with, then comments to his henchman that this was how he started.
  • Politically Incorrect Villain: Harold clearly doesn't approve of all the black people that now inhabit one of his old neighbourhoods.
  • Pragmatic Villainy: The Mafia, of all people, preach caution and cool-headedness. They're not trying to draw attention to themselves. Taken to its logical conclusion in the finale, combined with a little Know When to Fold 'Em, The Mafia decide to cut their losses and split even after all of Harold's enemies have been killed. When Harold points out it was a "little problem", they retort that massacres and explosions are nothing of the sort. They believe he's far too much of a liability. And they're right.
  • "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Harold's closing speech ("The mafia? I've shit 'em!") after they tell him the deal's off due to all the bombs going off and whatnot which he extends to Americans in general. ("No wonder you've got an energy crisis your side of the water!")
  • Ruthless Foreign Gangsters: The Mafia appear, but they are not this, being one of the voices of caution and reason that Harold gradually ignores. The mysterious Irish gang that shows up, however...
  • Sawed-Off Shotgun: There's a few floating about, though only the barrels are cut down, not the stock.
  • Shower of Angst: Harold appears in a shower scene washing the blood off himself after he inadvertently kills Jeff in a fit of rage during a heated argument.
  • Unwilling Suspension: One of the more famous "hanging upside down from the ceiling scenes". The actors had to keep being supported between takes to prevent them passing out.
  • Villainous Breakdown: Harold seems to be going through an extended slow-burning one from about a third of the way in. It culminates in him slitting his right-hand man's throat and having his gangland rivals hooked upside down on meathooks.
  • Western Terrorists: Harold tries to stiff the I.R.A. This ends about as well as you'd expect.
  • What Have I Become?: Harold says something to this effect after lashing out at Victoria during one of his tantrums.
  • Would Hit a Girl: Harold slaps a distraught widow when she starts getting in his face. He also hits Victoria at one point, though he immediately regrets it.
  • Wrong Genre Savvy: Despite being warned this is not the case, Harold believes he can simply take out the I.R.A. out like any other of his rivals in London. They catch up to him in the very final scene when he believes he's wiped out all his enemies.
  • You Have Failed Me: Harold glasses Jeff in a fit of rage, after he finds out he used Harold's resources.