Funny: Angel

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    Season 1 

  • City Of (1x01)
    • Cordy's hilarious chat with Angel at the party, where she's pretty much vapid personified.
    Angel: It's nice that she's grown as a person.
    • Angel shows up to save Cordelia from the wealthy vampire Russel Winters.
    Cordelia: (to Russel) You...you don't know who he is, do you? (suddenly grins) Oh, you're about to get your ass kicked!
  • Lonely Hearts (1x02)
    • Angel, Doyle, and Cordy are interviewing patrons at a singles bar, trying to find out why Doyle's vision sent them there. At one point, a guy can be seen walking away from the bar, having apparently gotten the wrong impression from Angel's awkward questions.
    Angel: Seriously, I wasn't hitting on you!
  • In the Dark (1x03)
    Girl: How can I thank you, you mysterious black-clad hunk-of-the-night thing?
    Angel: No need, little lady, your tears of gratitude are enough for me. You see, I was once a badass vampire, but love—and a pesky curse—defanged me, and now I'm just a biiig fluffy puppy with bad teeth. ...No, not the hair, never the hair.
    Girl: But there must be some way I can...show my appreciation?
    Angel: No! Helping those in need is my job. And working up a load of sexual tension and prancing away like a magnificent poof is truly thanks enough.
    Girl: I understand. I have a nephew who's gay, so....
    Angel: Say no more! Evil's still afoot. And I'm almost out of that nancy boy hair gel I like so much. Quickly, to the Angelmobile! Away!
  • I Fall to Pieces (1x04)
    • Doyle has some pretty spectacular lines in this episode.
    Doyle: At least it was just his hands under there. (beat) Wish I hadn't even thought of that.
    • Later, when he explains why he doesn't mind being on guard duty.
    Doyle: I have a word jumble right here. That should keep me occupied, sadly, for most of the day.
  • Rm w/a Vu (1x05)
    • When Cordelia moves into Angel's apartment.
    Cordelia: Your shower's in here, right? Do you have mousse? (beat) Of course you do.
  • Sense & Sensitivity (1x06)
    • Angel wears a Hawaiian shirt and hat, and introduces himself as a tourist to two gangsters before beating the snot out of them.
    Angel: Herb Saunders, Baltimore!
    • The enchanted Talking Stick that makes all the cops and Angel get really emotional.
    • When they break the window to get into the precinct.
    Angel: Wow...That's vandalism!
    • Later, during the standoff with Tony Papazian.
    Angel: You could be a rainbow, Anthony. Not a painbow!
    Kate: Some people just have to live in the problem.
    • How Kate reacts after delivering a headshot to one of Papazian's mooks.
    Kate: (shoots mook) How do you think that makes me feel?!
  • The Bachelor Party (1x07)
    • Still unaware that Doyle is half demon, Cordelia catches a glimpse of him in demon face, and immediately whacks him over the head with a serving tray. And this is moments after she and Angel arrive to save Doyle from his ex's new fiance, who was planning to eat his brains.
  • Parting Gifts (1x10)
    • Cordelia kissing every guy who comes into the office, including Angel, a potential client (a demon, no less!), and finally Wesley to try to get rid of the visions Doyle gave her.
      • Wesley's reaction is definitely the funniest of all of them.
    Cordelia: (exasperated) It didn't work!
    Wesley: No? Hmm. I rather thought it went considerably better than last time.
    • What's especially funny is that Cordy doesn't realize it's Wesley until after the kiss.
  • Somnambulist (1x11)
    • Wesley walks into the office to find Cordelia talking to an empty chair, practicing a melodramatic speech she plans to give to future clients.
    Wesley: I think it's about to speak.
    Cordelia: Nobody likes a smartass rogue demon hunter.
  • Expecting (1x12)
    • Angel confronts the man who impregnated Cordelia with the spawn of a demon, and the guy shoots him three times. He and his pals smirk at each other for a few seconds, and then their smirks turn into truly wonderful Oh Crap! expressions when Angel gets back up, vamped out.
    Angel: I really hate it when people shoot me.
    • Near the end, we get this tremendous line when Wesley comes face-to-face with the demon.
    Wesley: I'm here to fight you, sir, to the death. Preferably yours.
  • She (1x13)
    • Angel is standing around awkwardly at Cordelia's party, trying not to look completely out of place. Cordy comes up to him and we get this exchange.
    Cordelia: Hi. You havin' fun?
    Angel: Sure. This is, um...
    Cordelia: Your idea of hell?
    Angel: Actually in hell, you tend to know a lot of the people.
    • Immediately after that, Wesley, who is clearly having a blast, approaches Angel.
    Wesley: Whats say a couple of brooding demon hunters start chatting up some of the fillies?
    Girl: (joins them) Hey.
    Wesley: H- (chokes on food)
    Girl: Nice sweater. Hand-knit?
    Wesley: Certainly not by me!
    Girl: I didn't mean—I meant it's great sweater.
    Wesley: Oh, well, I-I'll pass that on, then. To the person who knit it. I-I mean I would if I knew who did. But I don't. So I won't pass it on to anyone, will I? (frantic laughter)
    • Angel avoids being caught by the museum security guards by pretending to be a museum guide and describing Manet's Music in the Tuileries to an audience. He points out Baudelaire in the painting, talks about his poem "Le Vampire," and how some people believe it was written about a real vampire, then says that Baudelaire was a bit taller and a lot drunker in real life compared to the painting.
    • "I don't dance."
    • The extended dancing montage during the end credits.
  • I've Got You Under My Skin (1x14)
    • Wesley's reaction when Cordy uses his specialized demon-killing knife to cut her brownies.
    Wesley: That blade is very old! Who knows what kind of corrosive effect her cooking may have on it!
    • The little girl conceals her uneaten Brussels sprout inside a napkin. When it's time for dessert, she takes a bite of Angel's (or possibly Cordy's) brownies—and quickly sticks the rest of it into her napkin.
    • Wesley is preparing to perform an exorcism, and Angel grills him about being weak-willed, suggesting that he doesn't think Wes is up for it. Wesley responds by tossing him a cross and suggesting that Angel do it instead. Yeah, Wes burned him, and the vampire can't help but be impressed by Wesley's newfound assertiveness.
    Angel: (hastily drops the cross) That was vulgar.
    Wesley: (calmly) But I believe I've made my point.
  • The Prodigal (1x15)
    • Cordy installing a high-tech, state-of-the-art security system that turns out to be utterly, hilariously useless.
      • Special mention goes to the part where Wesley takes the instruction manual and reads off a description of the system, including the "TM" at the end, in a totally deadpan voice.
  • The Ring (1x16)
    • Wes and Cordy posing as detectives to sneak into the underground fight is hilarious. Particularly the part where Cordelia introduces them to a couple they're trying to swipe tickets from.
      Cordelia: I'm Detective Andrews and this is Detective...Yelsew.
      • The irritated look Wesley gives her is priceless.
  • Eternity (1x17)
    • After dragging Angel and Wesley to a low-budget, very badly acted production of A Doll's House, Cordelia asks the boys what they thought of her acting, and they both start stammering out vague comments. Wesley manages to weasel out of telling her she sucked by saying "You took the role and made it your own," and then looks very proud of himself when Cordelia takes it as a compliment and stops prodding. Then she turns to Angel and asks if he thought it was good.
    Angel: ...I wouldn't say it if I didn't think so.
    Cordelia: Thanks! (realizes) You didn't say it.
    Angel: I didn't? Okay, well...y'know, it was a night in the theater I'll never forget.
    • When Wesley shows how British he is.
    Rebecca: Oh God, who called ET?
    Wesley: Emma Thompson?
    • The very pissed-off look on Wesley's face when Cordelia calls him their intern.
    • When Cordelia is talking up one of her favorite actresses, acting like Rebecca is some kind of goddess.
    Angel: She's just a person.
    Cordelia: Coming from a true non-person.
    • Cordy's overly excited laugh/shriek she keeps doing when she's around Rebecca.
    • And the end, when Cordy leaves Angel chained up.
    Cordelia: At least [Angelus] is honest.
  • Five By Five (1x18)
    • Anytime Wesley and Cordelia make references to their brief romantic interest in each other back in Sunnydale, it's usually pretty funny. This episode has one standout moment when Dennis the ghost refuses to let them into Cordelia's apartment, and Cordy thinks it's because he's jealous of Wesley.
    Cordelia: (to Dennis) Don't worry, hell will freeze over before I have sex with him.
    Wesley: Thank goodness for small favors.
  • Sanctuary (1x19)
    • Angel getting dramatic with Faith.
    Faith: So, how does this work?
    Angel: There's no real simple answer to that. I won't lie to you and tell you it'll be easy. Because it won't be. Just because you've decided to change doesn't mean the world's ready for you to. Truth is, no matter how much you suffer, no matter how many good deeds you do to try to make up for the past, you may never balance out the cosmic scale. The only thing I can promise you is that you'll probably be haunted, and maybe for the rest of your life.
    Faith: (indicates the microwave) So...how does this work?
    Angel: Oh. Uh, power level, time, start.
    • Lee Mercer getting pissed off when he finds out that the monster sent to kill Angel and Faith failed.
    Lee: This is getting ridiculous. The first assassin kills the second assassin, who was sent to kill the first assassin, who didn't assassinate anyone, until we hired the second assassin to assassinate her.
    Lindsey: All right. This obviously isn't working.
    Lilah: You think?
  • Blind Date (1x21)
    • Wesley and Cordelia's discussion about the blind assassin Angel fought the night before.
    Wesley: (closing a book in frustration) Demons with one eye, demons with twelve eyes...some with double vision. No blind demons. Perhaps Angel's discovered a new species.
    Cordelia: What? Hellenkellerus Homicidalus?
    • Lindsey comes to Angel for help because a Wolfram & Hart assassin is going to kill a trio of psychic kids. During their initial conversation, Lindsey heads off into his origin story about how he came to work for Wolfram & Hart. As he goes on pulling out one Freudian Excuse after another, Angel snorts, pretending the story bored him to sleep, and asks when he's going to get to the part about being evil.
    • Gunn creates a diversion so Angel can sneak into Wolfram & Hart.
    Gunn: Y'all cater to the demon, cater to the dead, but what about the black man?
    • And his opening line from said diversion.
    Gunn: Woo! My God! They told me it was true, but I didn't believe 'em. But damn, here it is! Evil white folks really do have a Mecca!
  • To Shanshu in L.A. (1x22)
    • Wesley stealing Cordelia's donut to make his point about wanting things.

    Season 2 

  • Judgment (2x01)
    • Angel having to sing karaoke. And the Credits Gag of Boreanaz hamming it up.
    Angel: Mandy, you kissed me/And stopped me from shakin'/Oooooh Mandyyyy...
  • First Impressions (2x03)
    • Wesley still has his motorcycle from the first season, as well as an extra helmet. An extra bright pink helmet. The implication that he expected to be picking up chicks is hilarious enough. Angel having to wear the pink helmet makes it ten times funnier.
    Wesley: C'mon, what are you waiting for?
    Angel: I-I...really don't think it's gonna fit.
    Wesley: Oh, of course it will. Put it on.
    Angel: Well—I don't need a helmet for protection.
    Wesley: Angel. It's the law in California. Do you want us to get pulled over?
    Angel: No.
    Wesley: Then what's the problem?
    Angel: Well, i-it's just, y'know, it's the whole, heh, visibility issue, not to mention the whole hat-head thing, and when you really think about it, how come I have to wear the ladies' helmet?
    Wesley: Stop being such a wanker and put it on.
    (Angel puts on helmet and gives Wesley a Death Glare)
    Wesley: (struggling not to laugh) Looks good. Hop on board, gorgeous.
    • Then when they arrive at the scene of a big fight, one of the demons looks at Angel's pink helmet and laughs and sneers derisively. Angel responds by walloping the demon across the face with it.
  • Untouched (2x04)
    Wesley: Well, our discussions tend to go about three minutes, then it's strictly name-calling and hair-pulling.
    • After a particularly dark moment caused by Wesley exposing Bethany's childhood trauma, triggering her powers and causing her to telepathically shove him into a wall and throw Angel out into the sunlight, we get this exchange while Cordy is tending to Wesley's injured wrist.
    Cordelia: You're sure nothing's broken?
    Wesley: I'm sure.
    Cordelia: Nothing at all? Say, your brain? What happened to "approach her with caution"?
    Wesley: If I'd given her time to get her defenses up—
    Cordelia: She wouldn't be crying, you wouldn't be bruised, and Angel wouldn't have had a near-Melba-toast experience!
  • Dear Boy (2x05)
    Wesley: (after Angel claims he can recognize peoples' scents) Angel, you can't just sniff a person and—
    Angel: (sniffs Wesley) You had sex last night with a bleached blonde.
    Wesley: Good Lord! How did you—
    Cordelia: That's unbelievable! I didn't think you ever had sex.
  • Guise Will Be Guise (2x06)
    • Cordy's exaggerated impression of Angel.
      Cordelia: (spinning around in Angel's chair) Hey, look at me, I'm Angel!
      Wesley: (deadpan) He doesn't generally spin that much.
      Cordelia: Right! This is Angel—"Oh, no, I can't do anything fun tonight. I have to count my past sins, then alphabetize them. Oh, by the way, I'm thinking of snapping on Friday."
      • And Wesley is just standing there, quietly shaking with laughter.
    • Wesley having to impersonate Angel leads to quite a lot of funny moments, the most notable one being the part where he has to drink a glass of (presumably human) blood to avoid blowing his cover. He drinks half the glass, dumps the other half into a potted plant when no one is watching, and then spends the rest of the scene looking like he's desperately trying to keep from throwing up. Anyone who still doubted Wesley's bravery at this point in the series needs only to watch this scene to realize how dedicated the man is to his job and his friends.
    • Virginia revealing she's not a virgin by listing all the guys she's slept with, including one of the Big Bad's minions, while Angel stands off to the side, protesting Magnus' assumption that he's a eunuch.
    Magnus: She's impure? She's not a virgin? You... (to Wesley)
    Gunn: Whoa, that's what "impure" meant?
    Cordelia: She slept with him?
    Magnus: You were supposed to be Angel. This wouldn't have happened. That's why I hired him. He's a eunuch.
    Cordelia: You slept with her?
    Angel: A eunuch?
    Wesley: Things happen. Two young people. Danger.
    Virginia: What are you talking about?
    Magnus: She was a virgin before you got here.
    Virginia: I was not a virgin.
    Magnus: What?
    Wesley: (intense relief) Oh, thank goodness.
    Gunn: I could've told you she wasn't no virgin.
    Angel: Not a eunuch!
    Cordelia: One day as Angel... One day and he's getting some.
    Magnus: What? How could you? I kept you away from all men.
    Angel: I mean, the curse isn't even all that clear!
    Virginia: Daddy, remember our chauffeur when I was sixteen? Or when I was eighteen? I haven't been a virgin for a very long time. I even dated Rick.
    (One of the hooded minions slinks away)
  • Darla (2x07)
    • The Fang Gang's conversation about how to find Darla.
    Cordelia: And this would be the same woman that you didn't notice was in your bedroom every night for like, three weeks straight?
    Angel: That was different.
    Cordelia: Different in the sitting right on top of you sense, yeah.
    Wesley: Cordelia has a point.
    Cordelia: Finally!
    Wesley: The last time Darla emerged, she wanted to be found. Now she's out there among six million other people.
    Cordelia: She could be sitting on top of anybody.
    Angel: C'mon, guys. We're a detective agency. We investigate things. That's what we're good at.
    Cordelia: That's what we suck at. Let's face it. Unless there's a website called www.ohbythewaywehavedarlastashedhere.com (shot of Wesley, who's desperately trying not to laugh), we're pretty much out of luck.
    Wesley: (still laughing at Cordy's website comment) It's not gonna be easy.
  • The Shroud of Rahmon (2x08)
    • The way the titular Shroud affects Wesley and Cordelia. Everyone else in its vicinity becomes really mean and violent. For some reason, it makes Wes and Cordy act like a couple of stoned high-schoolers.
    Wesley: Ooh, sorry, I'm feeling a little...
    Cordelia: Me too. I think it's the altitude.
    Wesley: (slurring) Right. The altitude here at sea level.
    (They exchange glances and crack up laughing)
    • A Brick Joke has Wesley and Angel failing to notice that Cordelia has cut her hair (ten days ago!). Later, when Kate arrives at the scene of the heist, she runs into Wesley, who is still under the influence of the Shroud but doggedly certain that he needs to warn Angel about something.
    Wesley: Your hair!
    Kate: You came here to warn Angel about my hair?
    Wesley: It's blonde! Aren't you glad I noticed?
  • The Trial (2x09)
    • Wesley getting annoyed about Angel not listening to him.
    Wesley: Didn't we learn anything from the tea?
  • Redefinition (2x11)
    • Lindsey is in awe that Darla spared him, then he finds out Lilah's alive too.
    Lindsey: I'm alive. I'm the only one that's left.
    Paramedic: We got another one!
    Lindsey: (disappointed) We do?
    • Darla mocking Lindsey and owning Lilah.
    Lindsey: Why'd you spare me, Darla?
    Darla: Do you really have to ask? I'm in love with you. (Darla, Drusilla, and Lilah all laugh) Shut up, Lilah.
    Drusilla: Shh!
    • The entire scene with Wes, Cordy and Gunn at Caritas. It starts with them drunkenly arguing about whose fault it was they were fired, smash cuts to them up on stage singing a horrendously off-key rendition of "We Are The Champions," then finishes with them back at their table, beginning to feel the effects of the alcohol.
    Cordelia: Vampires...sloth demons...y'know what's really, really evil? Tequila.
    Wesley: I need to be dead now.
    • Lorne walks over to the table, takes off his jacket, and is just casually standing there folding it while he talks to them. Then he holds it out like a baseball glove and uses it to cushion Cordy's head when she gets thrown back in her chair by a vision.
  • Blood Money (2x12)
    • The videotape of Wesley and Cordelia playing around with their new camcorder. It features clips of the two of them arguing over what to use the camera for, Cordelia practicing for an audition opposite a coat rack, her doing another audition for a milk commercial, and Wesley pretending to be James Bond and then doing a hilarious strip-tease for no apparent reason.
  • Happy Anniversary (2x13)
    • Wes excitedly exclaims that he's found the right connection to hook up the phone in their new office. You hear a ZZZT! sound and the lights go out. The three of them just stand there in the dark for a few seconds, then...
    Gunn: I am so glad I met you guys. It's entertaining, really.
    • The entire wallowing scene, as well as Virginia's commentary on it.
  • Epiphany (2x16)
    • Darla is indignant that she couldn't give Angel that "perfect moment of happiness."
    Darla: I don't understand. Was I...was it...not good? Well, I don't accept that! You cannot tell me that wasn't perfect. Not only have I been around for 400 years, but I used to do this professionally, and that was perfect...We'll go again.
    • Same scene, two lines later.
    Darla: But you had...
    Angel: I did.
    Darla: And I had...
    Angel: Three times.
    • Cordelia has a vision of herself surrounded by vengeful demons. When the vision recedes a few seconds later, she looks around...and finds herself surrounded by vengeful demons. Looks like The Powers That Be were having a Captain Obvious moment.
    Cordelia: THAT WAS HELPFUL!
  • Disharmony (2x17)
    • The gang begrudgingly allows Harmony to hang out with them while she figures out what she wants to do with her un-life. However, she's unbearably annoying, getting in everyone's way, popping her gum loudly, and accidentally spilling a mug of blood and shorting out the computer, among other things. At one point, she tears a page out of a 1200-year-old book and wraps her gum in it. Wesley has to be physically restrained from staking her.
    • After Cordelia calls her "Harm," Wesley mutters that it's a very fitting nickname.
  • Dead End (2x18)
    • As Angel and Gunn finish getting each other up to speed on their equally fruitless search efforts, Wesley walks in and cheerfully declares, "Guess what I found? More nothing than usual."
    • Angel and Lindsey arguing.
    Lindsey: He's my lead! You're choking my lead!
    Angel: "He's my lead! He's my lead!" What are we, in a schoolyard?
    • The scene when Lindsey quits Wolfram & Hart and talks about his evil hand. Christian Kane is so absurdly hammy that it is glorious to watch.
    • The scene afterwards when he says goodbye to Angel. They seem to depart on pretty good terms...but then it's revealed that Angel stuck a huge "COPS SUCK" sign on the back of Lindsey's truck.
      • To top it off, the sign is revealed immediately after Angel says that he's glad he didn't have to do anything immature. We've seen him as the drunken layabout Liam and as the gleefully murderous Angelus, but this has to be the most immature thing he has done. By far. Even when reverted to his teen self he was more grown up than this.
  • The entire Pylea arc (being something of a Breather Episode) is rather outstanding in this department.
  • Over the Rainbow (2x20)
    • Angel discovering that the sunlight doesn't harm him in Lorne's home dimension. Seeing the normally broody Angel filled with childlike glee and running around like a little schoolboy is absolutely priceless.
    Angel: Has anyone else noticed how much fire I'm not on?
    • A few moments later
    Angel: We should look for some branches. Hey look, there's one over there in that big patch of sun...I'll go get it!
    • The part where Wesley pinches Angel's cheeks after they discover that the Pylean sun doesn't burn Angel is downright hilarious.
    • Gunn has exactly zero time for Wesley's ironic humor
    Wesley: These impenetrable stone walls are proving to be rather—
    Gunn: If you say "impenetrable," I will kick your ass.
  • Through the Looking Glass (2x21)
    • Pretty much anything involving Lorne's family. "Numfar, do the dance of joy!"
      • Made funnier by the fact that Numfar was played by Joss Whedon.
    • When Cordelia, Wesley, and Gunn are in the palace library, Wes tells Cordy that there's a prophecy about her in one of the books, saying she's supposed to "com-shuk with a Groosalugg." Gunn remarks that it sounds dirty. Later when the demon priests explain that the com-shuk is a mating ritual, Gunn turns to Cordy and, with all the maturity of a twelve-year-old, says, "I told you it was dirty."
  • There's something oddly amusing about Wesley's demeanor during the Pylea story arc. The rest of the team is pretty on edge during their visit to the hell dimension, but aside from the moments when their lives are legitimately at risk, Wesley remains calm, curious, and cheerful the whole time, expressing awe and excitement over every new thing they discover.
    • It's especially funny because a lot of the things that get him really excited are actually fairly innocuous, like the picture of a hart (a type of deer) on the cover of a book.
  • There's No Place Like Plrtz Glrb (2x22)
    Fred: They didn't do that when I first came here.
    • After Wesley's big mouth lands him and Gunn in stocks waiting to be beheaded:
    Gunn: Don't worry, I got a plan.
    Wesley: Oh, thank God! What is it?
    Gunn: We die horribly and painfully. You go to Hell, and I spend eternity in the arms of Baby Jesus.
    • Angel, Wesley, Gunn, and Fred look down at Lorne's dismembered head in a basket, and mourn their friend. When Lorne's head suddenly comes to life and asks "That's it?" in an offended tone, everyone except Fred freaks out and jumps back.
    • Fred explains how to escape the dimension using tomes taken from the deposed Covenant.
    Demon priest: Those are sacred books!
    (Death Glares)
    Demon priest: Which you should have.
  • Behind-the-scenes, we have Amy Acker's audition scene. It involves a love potion and Cordelia's gigantimous boobs.
    Fred: Step away from the bosoms! That is a no on the bosoms.
    (Wesley takes off her glasses)
    Wesley: Now you are perfection.
    Fred: Whereas you are slightly fuzzy. Can I have those back?
    • And the love spell ends up causing Gunn and Wes to fall for the elderly librarian and rush to her side. And Fred proves that she's Not So Above It All.
    Fred: Hey! What about my damaske? Bosoms? Don't you wanna...(beat) I hate magic.

    Season 3 
  • Heartthrob (3x01)
    Cordelia: I can understand people who drink too much. I understand people who put a little note on the parking meter that says it's broken when it's not. I don't understand people who worship demons.
    Gunn: Yeah. Especially Lurite demons. The stink on that thing...If you're a prince of the underworld, bro, take a Jacuzzi every once in a while.
    Wesley: It's sad. The only way some people can find a purpose in life is by becoming obsessed with demons. By the way, Gunn, technically that wasn't a Lurite. It was a Murite, a sub-species of the Lurite. The male sports a small, tell-tale fin just behind the third shoulder.
    Gunn: So glad to know we're not the sad people obsessed with demons.
    Wesley: We have to be a little obsessed. We're detectives who specialize in these things.
    Cordelia: But we're not sad.
    Wesley: No, we're a happy and rambunctious lot if I ever saw one.
    (blank stares from Gunn and Cordy)
    Wesley: Not going to humor me even a little, are you?
    Cordelia: Uh-uh.
    Wesley: I realize we sacrifice a great deal of our social lives. But we have to. Work demands it.
    Gunn: True. Who's got time for love when you're out there doin' it with the demons? (off Wesley's expression) Didn't that just come out sad and wrong. (sighs) I need to get out more.
    • Cordy is incredulous that Wesley and Gunn will fearlessly fight demons but are scared to set mousetraps.
    Gunn: Man, I hate rats. Their little beady eyes—
    Wesley: And their beady teeth.
  • That Vision Thing (3x02)
    • Fred grading Wesley and Gunn on how sincere they sounded when they said hi to Cordy.
    Fred: B plus, C minus. (Beat) A girl can tell.
    Gunn: Five herb shops in Chinatown; we've been to four. How come whatever we're searching for is always in the last place we look?
    Wesley: I suppose it's one of the unwritten laws of being a dick.
    (Gunn gives him a really weird look)
    Wesley: Ah, a sleuth, a gumshoe, a Sherlock.
    Gunn: All I know is you use the word "dick" again and we gonna have a problem.
    • Angel, Gunn, and Wesley walk into a mystical shop looking for the coin from Cordy's vision.
    Old Chinese Woman: Your kind not welcome here.
    Gunn: Since when can't a brother buy some ginseng tea?
    Old Chinese Man: Not you. Him. (Points at Angel) Vampire not welcome.
    • After listening to Fred ramble nonsense.
    Cordelia: Wow. Y'know, next to you, I am downright linear.
    • Fred comparing Cordelia to Lassie.
  • That Old Gang of Mine (3x03)
    • Fred up on stage at Caritas singing "Crazy," by Patsy Cline, which leads to Wesley giving Cordelia the most hilarious WTF face ever.
    Cordelia: I swear to God, she picked out this song herself.
    • The Three Fates swooning over "Mmm, Angel."
  • Carpe Noctem (3x04)
    • Fred gets an early lucid moment that's pretty funny.
    Fred: (looks at the fashion magazine Cordy is reading) Why do girls wanna look like that? I spent years in a cave starving, what's their excuse?
    • An old man performs a spell to switch bodies with Angel, resulting in "Angel" doing a number of extremely hilarious, out-of-character things, including flirting and making out with Lilah Morgan.
      • Lilah's reason for showing up at the Hyperion that day is pretty funny in itself. Her incredibly annoying rival, Gavin Park, has just spent several months trying to get Angel in legal trouble for building code violations and the lack of a social security number (or even a last name, for that matter), among other things. So Lilah puts together an entire packet of all the proper legal documents and brings it to Angel, not because she likes or cares about him and his team, but just because she wants to piss Gavin off.
    • Cordelia asks "Angel" to explain to Fred that he is not like other men and there is no room for romance. Marcus-in-Angel's-body thinks Cordy is talking about a male coworker, and assumes Angel is gay.
    Marcus-as-Angel: Romance...with Fred...so I'm a... (sees himself)... obviously.
    • Then later, when Marcus-as-Angel has the conversation with Wes, thinking he is Fred. The whole scene is priceless, with Marcus acting extremely uncomfortable, almost afraid of Wesley's proximity.
    Marcus-as-Angel: I mean, whatever we...had...whatever we...(evidently nauseous look)...did... I just think that we should, you know, keep that behind us. Start from scratch, you know, two men working side by side, but you know, none of that funny stuff.
    • When the others find out about "Angel" making out with Lilah.
    Wesley: I don't believe it. On my desk?!?
    Gunn: Well, it did used to be his. Maybe he was just kinda...reclaimin' it.
    Wesley: How, by marking it? This isn't like him.
    Cordelia: (scornfully) What? This is totally like him. Doing the mystery dance with some cheap blonde—
    Fred: (tearfully) Brunette. She was a cheap brunette.
    Cordelia: (genuinely shocked) You're right. This isn't like him.
  • Fredless (3x05)
    • There's just something hilarious about the way Wesley emphasizes Fred's name after she refers to Buffy as "that girl with the goofy name." Followed by his long string of no's.
    Fred: So, now that she's alive again, are they gonna get back together? Angel and that girl with the goofy name?
    Wesley: Well, Fred, that's a difficult question. I think it's fair to say...no. Not a chance, never, no way, not in a million years, and also...nuh-uh.
    Cordelia: Lemme break it down for you, Fred. (Gets into character, as Buffy) Oh, Angel! I know that I am a Slayer and you're a vampire, and it would be impossible for us to be together. But—
    Wesley: (unexpectedly stands up and joins Cordy) But! My gypsy curse sometimes prevents me from seeing the truth. Oh Buffy!
    Cordelia: Yes, Angel?
    Wesley: I love you so much I almost forgot to brood!
    Cordelia: And even though I sent you to hell that one time doesn't mean that we can't just...be friends.
    Wesley: Or possibly more...
    Cordelia: Gasp! No, we mustn't!
    Wesley: Kiss me!
    Cordelia: Bite me!
    (Wesley pretends to bite her just as Angel walks in)
    (Startled, Wes and Cordy look up at him and quickly move away from each other)
    • And then Angel actually agrees that it was a pretty accurate summary.
      • What's especially funny is that Wes and Cordy were acting it out for Fred's benefit, but she's clearly the only one in the room who doesn't get why it's funny.
      • Angel gets his revenge, having seen them drill the everloving shit out of his romance with Buffy, he decides not to tell them anything about his recent meeting with her, knowing full well that not knowing is hell for Cordelia.
    • Fred getting distracted during her conversation with Angel in the sewer tunnels.
      Fred: I swear, I don't know how y'all put up with me. I practically need flashcards to understand my—what pretty crystals.
      • Amy Acker's spot-on delivery is what really sells this line.
    • The scene with a very distressed Fred at the bus station talking to herself, scaring away a hobo who was sitting next to her.
    Fred: Oh hey, I was...I was just calculating Pi...to relax. I'm not dangerous!
  • Quickening (3x08)
  • Dad (3x10)
    • So many people are after Connor: The Order of Phillius, Beltar the Cremator...and Frank.note 
    • Yes, Angel as a father is heartwarming, but those moments may also be hysterically funny. He's gone from puppy torture and chainsaws to teddy bears and sometimes-excruciating Baby Talk.
    • Wesley's particular brand of sarcasm, especially in early season 3, can best be described as low-key obnoxious. One of the finest examples is the moment in this episode when he walks into his office and this exchange happens.
    Wesley: Angel, we could use your help. Are you finished...changing the baby who's being changed on my desk?
    Angel: Sorry, I needed the space.
    Wesley: Of course. And seeing as how you once nearly had sex on my desk, I shouldn't be surprised that now there's a baby on it.
    • A moment later he picks up the package of diapers and starts reading the information on the side.
    Wesley: Did you know these napkins are lined with a Space Age material originally designed for NASA astronauts? Hm, that's interesting. Though now I'm picturing grown men wearing nappies and am rather disturbed.
    • When the team is gearing up to fight an onslaught of bad guys, we get this:
    Gunn: What are you doin'?
    Wesley: Trying to imagine myself as John Wayne in Rio Bravo. You?
    Gunn: Austin Stoker. Assault on Precinct 13.
    (Wes and Gunn high-five)
    Cordelia: If we live through this, trade in the DVD players and get a life.
    • Wesley's truly magnificent smirk just before he incinerates one of the members of a vampire cult with a flamethrower has to be seen to really be appreciated.
  • Waiting in the Wings (3x13)
    • Wesley and Cordelia's entire conversation at the beginning of the episode. This part in particular stands out, partly because of the freaked-out look on Cordy's face when she realizes she said the loofa thing out loud, and partly because it's really hilarious to see that after three years of friendship, and plenty of platonic bonding moments, Cordelia still has the power to make Wesley stutter if she wants to.
    Cordelia: (coyly) Y'know...there was a time when you thought I was the loveliest thing in the world.
    Wesley: Well, I...you're an extraordinary woman...I, uh...
    Cordelia: At ease, soldier. Just like to hear it every now and then. I was the ditziest bitch in Sunnydale. Could've had any man I wanted. Now I'm all superhero-y, and the best action I can get is an invisible ghost who's good with a loofa.
    (awkward silence)
    Wesley: I'm sorry, I missed that last part.
    Cordelia: You are a gentleman.
    Angel: Who's doing what with a loofa?
    • Wesley says he wants to ask Fred out, but he's waiting for just the right moment to make his move, biding his time until the iron gets hot. Cordy, who's had to listen to him talk incessantly about Fred for quite a while, tells him to hurry it up, "so I can hear about something else and you can do something else besides feeling your hot iron."
    • Angel having to put up with Lorne's talk of kyrumption, after already hearing about it from Fred a few episodes earlier. Lorne keeps referring to Angel using friendly pet names like cupcake and cinnamonbun. Angel's response after a beat is hilarious.
    Angel: Stop saying kyrumption...and stop calling me pastries.
    • Cordelia falling asleep during the ballet, then dodging the second half by volunteering to go help Angel investigate something backstage.
    Wesley: How will the dancers keep time without your rhythmic snoring?
    Cordelia: Don't think that's not coming back to haunt you.
    • During the gang's swordfight against the Comedy and Tragedy robots, Wesley finally gets the upper hand by running his sword through Comedy.
    Wesley: (triumphantly) Who's laughing now?
    (the Comedy robot continues laughing as it crumples to the ground)
    Wesley: Well...you. But I still win!
    • Angel's response to the creepy owner of the ballet company.
    Kurskov: She...was my love. She danced only for me!
    Angel: Yeah, you love her that much? Start a website.
  • Tomorrow (3x22)
    • Lilah meets Wesley in a bar, after trying twice already to tempt him into working for Wolfram & Hart.
    Lilah: Mind if I join you?
    Wesley: On many levels and with great intensity.

    Season 4 

  • Deep Down (4x01)
    Fred: Who's Fluffy? Wait, you don't think he was referring to something of mine that's fluffy do you? Because that would be inappropriate.
    Cordelia: God, I am so bored.
  • Ground State (4x02)
    • While the team is trying to map out a heist, we get this gem:
    Fred: I'm working on a plan, but so far it involves going to prison and becoming somebody's bitch.
  • The House Always Wins (4x03)
    • While watching Lorne sing in Las Vegas, Gunn and Fred realize that nobody in the audience seems to notice or care that he's a demon.
    Fred: You don't think the Blue Man Group...
    Angel: Only two of them.
    • When it's strongly implied that Fred is counting cards at the Blackjack table.
    • All of Angel's cryptic allusions to his previous trips to Vegas throughout history.
    • Meanwhile, back in LA, Wesley continues to run his own crew, puts in an order for a wrist-mounted sword, and has phone sex with Lilah.
  • Spin The Bottle (4x06)
    • Wesley walks in just in time to hear Fred and Lorne speak to each other in Pylean.
    Wesley: Did...English go away?
    Lorne: No, it's Pylean, Crumpet. I said, "I may be prepared to shout a joyful chant."
    Fred: And I said, "May your words please the gods."
    (Cuts to Lorne on stage, narrating the story)
    Lorne: Okay, first of all, she didn't say "May your words please the gods" so much as "May you orally please the gods," which is a slight...well, inflection's very crucial in our...ah, God bless her, it's always nice to hear the mother tongue.
    • Lorne's description of the spell he acquired to restore Cordelia's memory.
    (Cuts back to Narrator!Lorne)
    Lorne: So I'm an idiot. What are you, perfect?
    • The spell, naturally, goes hilariously wrong, leading the Fang Gang to revert back to their teen personalities.
    Wesley: (puffs up with pride) I am from the Watcher's Academy in southern Hampshire. In fact, I happen to be Head Boy.
    Cordy: Gee, I wonder how you earned that nickname.
    Wesley: A lot of effort, I don't mind saying!
    Gunn: Gunn.
    Wesley: (jumps) WHERE?
    • There's also Cordelia's getting so upset over how "The government gave me bad hair!" It's hilarious because all her wailing was not an overreaction at all—it really was just that awful.
    Angel: It's the Devil.
    Cordelia: My hair?!
    • Right after the memory spell takes affect, Cordelia looks at Angel and says, "Hello, salty goodness!" the exact same thing she said the first time she saw him all the way back in season one of Buffy.
    • Wesley accidentally triggers his collapsible sword after doing a series of ridiculous karate moves. He freaks out, which is funny enough, but then it's immediately followed by Fred attempting the same ridiculous moves and checking her sleeves for a weapon.
    Fred: (disappointed) I didn't get one.
    • And then there's Liam's response to a music player.
      Liam: Minstrels!
      • Then he pokes it with a freakin' priceless expression of shock. And then, when Cordelia turns it off:
    Liam: You stopped the little men from singing!
    • After Cordelia is mean to Fred.
    Wesley: There's no need to be snippety, miss.
    Cordelia: This is a clarion call for snippety, Princess Charles.
    • Gunn jumps Wesley. Cordelia tries to get Liam to split them up, but he refuses. "'Bout time the English got what was comin' to them! I'm rooting for the slave." The incredulous look Cordelia gives him is amazing.
    • Fred's alien abduction spiel, and Wesley's reaction to it.
    • Wesley deduces that the vampire they're searching for is actually one of them and has been hiding in plain sight the whole time. He whips out a cross and shoves it in Gunn's face. Gunn responds by sucker-punching him.
    Wesley: The cross obviously doesn't affect me, or our friend the pugilist.
    Gunn: Oh, your ass better pray I don't look that word up!
    • Then Wesley makes everyone else touch the cross to see if it affects them. When it's Fred's turn, she runs it over her entire body like a security wand.
    • Heck, the entire episode is one big CMOF, not just in front of the screen but behind it as well. The episode took far longer to shoot than usual, since the cast kept breaking up in laughter. The set had to be shut down for an hour and a half because David Boreanaz (Angel) and Alexis Denisof (Wesley) couldn't stop laughing. It got to the point where David and Alexis resolved not to look at each other to avoid cracking up. But as Joss Whedon points out in the DVD commentary, there are still points where David can't keep a straight face.
    • Speaking of faces, we have Liam locked in the bathroom going in and out of vamp face at a rapid pace.
    Cordelia: (hearing the noise) "What are you doing?"
    Liam: "I'm almost finished." (Cue disgusted look)
    • The commentary also reveals that Alexis Denisof kept adding extra duct tape to Andy Hallett's chair in between takes. He also apparently kept tickling Andy.
      • Heck, the commentary is almost as funny as the episode itself. During the trippy sequence at the beginning, Alexis adopts a stoned-hippie voice and says, "Don't harsh my melon." Joss calls him out for saying "melon" instead of "mellow" and Alexis immediately denies having said it. Thirty minutes later, right as the credits start to roll, this happens.
    Alexis: Dude, did I really say "harsh my melon"?
    Joss: You really did.
    Alexis: (beat) ...I have a cold.
    • The commentary also features Alexis readily admitting that he very much enjoyed getting to play pompous teen Wesley, Joss repeatedly pointing out all of the visual euphemisms, Alexis stopping in the middle of a sentence to geek out over Wesley's wrist-mounted sword, Joss referring to teen Fred as a "low-key, D&D stoner," and Joss calling Alexis "James Bond," and then joking that Alexis isn't allowed to be more attractive than David Boreanaz.
      • Also, when they get to the scene where Cordelia kicks Gunn and Wesley in the shins to break up their fight, Alexis casually remarks, "She didn't pull that kick, by the way."
  • Apocalypse, Nowish (4x07)
    • The waitress at the diner expressing concern that Fred is going to "vibrate into another dimension" after ten cups of coffee, followed by Fred's quietly ironic, "Nobody wants that."
  • Habeas Corpses (4x08)
    • Angel tries to explain to Connor what zombies are.
    Connor: What's a zombie?
    Angel: It's an undead thing.
    Connor: Like you?
    Angel: No. Zombies are slow moving, dimwitted things that crave human flesh.
    Connor: Like you.
    Angel: No. It's different, trust me.
    • The Beast has slaughtered everyone in the LA Branch of Wolfram & Hart. Angel, Wes, Gunn, and Fred go in to find Connor, and end up in the White Room while trying to escape the Beast. The Conduit uses her mojo to get them out of the building, and they rematerialize back in the lobby of the Hyperion, where Lorne and Cordelia are waiting for them. Lorne and Cordy's blank expressions of surprise at the team suddenly appearing is funny enough, but what really wins it is Lorne stealing the scene by taking a brief look inside his wine glass, thinking his drink must be spiked.
  • Salvage (4x13)
    • In the middle of the ridiculously depressing scene where Wesley has to decapitate Lilah's corpse, just in case Angelus tried to turn her, we get a very subtle funny moment thanks to this line.
      Lilah: Lover, I'm not even here. I'm just a figment in your devilishly handsome head.
      • Since the conversation with Lilah is just in his imagination, that basically means Wesley just called himself devilishly handsome.
    • Wesley breaks Faith out of prison so she can help the team capture Angelus. Wes wonders if Faith's slaying skills might be a little rusty, so he pulls over to the side of the road and waits for a couple of vampires to come and attack them. Faith dusts the vamps easily.
    Wesley: Thought you could use a little release. Feel natural?
    Faith: Like ridin' a biker.
    • Angelus accidentally saving the world. He kills the Beast, not realizing that doing so actually will bring back the sunlight (he just thought that was, in his words, part of Angel's retarded fantasy). A moment later he's cowering from the sunlight and muttering about just how dumb that was, which just goes to show that, for all of Angelus' brilliance, he can be really bone-headed sometimes.
  • Orpheus (4x15)
    • Faith and Wesley come up with the brilliant idea to have Faith dope up on the mystical Orpheus drug and then let Angelus feed on her. Faith ends up inside Angelus' mind, and she tortures him by forcing him to relive all the good deeds he's done. For him, it's utter hell.
    Faith: Dude. You just rescued a puppy!
    Angelus: NO!
    • And it just keeps getting better. Perhaps Angelus' lowest point is when Faith discovers that Angel is a big fan of Barry Manilow, and even attends the concerts sometimes. He seems to consider Angel's taste in music more disgusting and shameful than all of the good Angel has done.
    • Angelus says he understands what the drug is doing to him, but asks Faith why she's in his coma dream.
    Faith: Way I see it I got one last job—babysit the psycho until they shove a soul up your ass.
    Willow: Hey, look, it's the Marlboro man...or his extra-stubbly, mentally unstable, insomniac first cousin.
    • Willow and Wesley's entire conversation is a really sweet moment, as it allows Wesley to make a connection with someone else who has seen true darkness and managed to come back from it, but their scenes together are also really funny. We get the two of them comparing notes on dark things they've done, Willow going off on a tangent about all the good things that come in jars, Willow noting that Wesley has gone over to "the Grumpy Side of the Force," and Wesley's slightly freaked-out face when Willow expresses interest in Fred.
    • At the end, when Faith is about to leave with Willow to go help out in Sunnydale
    Faith: Wes.
    Wesley: Faith.
    Faith: See? Brits know how to say goodbye. Angel wanted to hug.
    Angel: No I didn't!
  • Players (4x16)
    • When Cordelia reveals her mystical pregnancy, Wesley offhandedly mentions the last time she was impregnated by the spawn of a demon, and Gunn turns around and gives him the greatest WTF look ever. Apparently in the three years Gunn has been on the team, nobody's ever told him that story.
    • After the rest of the team has an intense conversation about Cordy's pregnancy, Angel walks out of his office and proves he was listening by summarizing the whole thing with a list of the weirdest words from their talk.
    Angel: "Easy-Bake, flop-a-palooza, whoosh, pop." (to Wesley) I don't skulk.
  • The Magic Bullet (4x19)
    • Wesley's hypnosis-induced exposition regarding the extremely dangerous nature of the monstrous Winifred Burkle, in which he still manages to extoll "her quiet grace and gentle beauty."
    • People going up on stage and giving increasingly implausible reasons why Jasmine is the greatest person to ever live.
      • The little kid declaring, "She makes food taste good!"
      • The one lady who just stands at the podium sobbing.
      • And the Crazy Cat Lady changed the names of all 37 of her cats to Jasmine.
      • Angel and Connor's Jasmine rendition of "Mandy," complete with drunken stammering and dramatic swaying.
  • Home (4x22)
    • After Lilah makes the offer to turn the L.A. branch of Wolfram & Hart over to Angel Investigations, a limo appears out in front of the hotel for anyone who's interested in taking the tour. One by one, Fred, Wesley, Gunn and Angel very cautiously decide to enter Wolfram & Hart's limo, and open the door to find...
    Lorne: (over blaring techno music) So it's an evil limo! I get that! Does that mean you don't restock the cherries? (caught off-guard) ...hi!

    Season 5 

  • Conviction (5x01)
    • The scene following the opening credits, a fantastic oner showing all of the Fang Gang trying to find their places at Wolfram & Hart, gives us a very long and obvious bit of exposition in the form of Fred rattling off a summary of how they ended up there, immediately followed by Wesley lampshading it.
    Wesley: I'm still stuck back at, "Why on earth are we here?"
    Fred: What, because we're crusaders against evil, and now the law firm that represents most of the evil in the world has given us its LA branch to run however we want, probably in an attempt to corrupt, divide, or destroy us, and we all said yes in like, three minutes?
    Wesley: ...Your run-on sentences have got a lot less pointless.
    Fred: That's so sweet. And a tad condescending.
    • Angel saves a girl in a dark alley, just like old times...then it turns out that Wolfram & Hart was recording it for use as an advertisement.
    • The Wolfram & Hart Sacrifice Line.
    You have reached Ritual Sacrifice. For goats, press one, or say "goat." To sacrifice a loved one or pet, press the pound key!
  • Life of the Party (5x05)
    • Fred and Wesley getting drunk thanks to Lorne's increased power of suggestion.
    Fred: That's weird, isn't it? Let's go ask Gunn if that's weird.
    • The elevator scene is a particular standout.
    Wesley: Come on, come on, come on...
    Fred: Did you press...?
    Wesley: Oh. (Clumsily pushes elevator button. Beat) Come on, come on, come on!
    • Mention also goes to Wesley's deadpan "Charles you just peed on my shoes," Wes and Fred in the conga line, Wesley grabbing Fred around the waist and pulling her away from people she's talking smack to, Fred yelling "Hey, keep it in your pants!" at Angel and Eve, and Fred giggling uncontrollably at Wesley's inability to pronounce the word "presumably."
    • Eve being completely blasť about her indiscretion with Angel the night before.
    Eve: Angel, it's not like this is the first time I had sex under a mystical influence. I went to UC Santa Cruz.
  • The Cautionary Tale of Numero Cinco (5x06)
    • After getting absolutely no response from the mail-cart guy, Lorne asks for Fred's help choosing a birthday card for a female friend.
    Lorne: Fred, sweetie. You're sort of like a woman.
    Fred: Ooh. That's...not a compliment.
    • Then, as she's walking away after solving his card problem.
    Lorne: Starin' me right in the face. Genius!
    Fred: And I'm a lot like a woman.
    Lorne: You're all woman. You're every woman. You're Wonder Woman!
    Fred: Damn straight.
    • The flashback to The Number Brothers in their glory days.
    Numero Cinco: Hermanos! The Devil has built a robot!
  • Lineage (5x07)
    • Spike's Call Back to the Buffybot when they're discussing a cyborg, and everyone's reaction to it.
    Spike: Sex with robots is more common than you think.
    (Everyone stares at him)
    • We also get a Call Back to the "Head Boy" joke from the previous season. The expression of utter glee on Spike's face is what really sells it.
    Spike: I can explain. Apparently, when Percy here was younger, he was known as Head Boy!
    Angel: Yeah, I already knew that.
    Spike: Right, I have nothing else to report.
    • Somewhat undercut by the fact that Spike should know what "Head Boy" actually means in this context, from his human days.
      • Chances are he does know what it means—he just thinks it's funnier to pretend not to.
  • Destiny (5x08)
    • Alexis Denisof was on his honeymoon during filming of this episode. The In-Universe explanation of why Wesley isn't there leads to a truly hilarious moment when Spike puts in his two cents.
    Spike: At least give me Wesley's office. I mean, since he's gone.
    Angel: He's not gone, he's on a leave of absence.
    Spike: Yeah, right. Boo hoo! Thought he killed his bloody father. (as Angel walks away, ignoring him) Try STAKING YOUR MOTHER when she's COMIN' ONTO YOU!!!
    Harmony: Well...that explains a lot.
    • Angel and Spike have one of the most epic fights in either series over the right to the title The Chosen One. Spike eventually wins and takes a sip from the chalice...and then gets a really odd look on his face:
    Spike: It's...Mountain Dew.
  • Damage (5x11)
    • After Spike gets thrown through a third story window by an insane Slayer, Angel runs up to him.
    Angel: What happened?
    • Andrew's reaction to seeing Spike alive and Spike's expression upon being tackled by an ecstatic, weeping Andrew.
    Angel: So, you two know each other?
    Andrew: Yeah, we saved the world together. I mean, Buffy helped, but it was mostly us.
    • "Is pathological idiot an actual condition?"
    • When Spike describes blood as smelling like pennies, Andrew picks a penny up off of the street and puts it in his mouth. Later, Spike tells him they must be getting close to their target because the smell is getting stronger. Andrew's response is, "Like nickels?"
    • Angel, after sitting through an exposition session headed by Andrew:
    Angel: In her mind, there probably aren't any good vampyres. (Beat) Vampires.
    • During said exposition, Wesley offers up his theory about what happened to Dana.
    Andrew: My hypothesis exactly, Pryce. I see Mr. Giles may have been wrong about you.
    (Cue mildly offended look from Wesley)
  • You're Welcome (5x12)
    • Wes and Cordy getting to do research together, just like old times. It's heartwarming to see how happy it makes Wesley, and also quite funny, thanks to this bit:
    Cordelia: Remember how I said, "Let's not have your department looking for those symbols I saw in my vision. Let's do this like we used to, you and me crackin' the books"?
    Wesley: (absently) Yes.
    Cordelia: Well that was dumb. What'd you ever listen to me for?
    Wesley: I don't know, I think I sort of missed this. You and me and the books. "Kickin' it old school," as they say. (makes a face) And I never will again.
    • When they're getting ready to go face an unknown monster in Wolfram & Hart's basement
    Gunn: We'll go with you.
    Angel: I can't risk losing anyone I care about.
    Spike: I'll go.
    Angel: Okay.
  • Smile Time (5x14)
    • Near the beginning, we have Angel evaluating himself as a possible romantic prospect.
    Angel: Because I'm not that guy! That guy is charming and funny and... emotionally useful! I'm the guy in a dark corner with the blood habit and the 200 years of psychic baggage!
    Spike: Hey, big guy. I need another car, drove the last one into the drink - (Sees Puppet!Angel sitting at his desk.)
    Puppet!Angel: Spike!
    Spike: Look at you...
    Puppet!Angel: Spike, just turn around and walk away!
    Spike: You're... You're a -
    Puppet!Angel: Spike!
    Spike: (completely unable to contain his schadenfreude) You're a BLOODY PUPPET!!!
    (Gilligan Cut to Spike being thrown through the office doors)
    • Later in that same scene, while Puppet!Angel is attacking Spike:
    Angel: (glaring around at all the stunned W&H employees) What? What's everybody staring at?!? Well!?!?!
    (beat)
    Spike: They're starin' at the wee little puppet man!
    Angel: (Berserker Rage) Stupid limey piece of crap!
    • And then he starts beating Puppet!Angel against a wall to stop him dangling from Spike's arm and biting down.
    • And finally, after throwing Spike into an elevator and beating him up, Angel walks out in what would be full Badass mode if he wasn't a bloody puppet.
    Angel: Yes, I'm a puppet. It doesn't mean you don't have work to do. Harmony, get my call list. And Spike needs a car.
    Spike: You heard the puppet.
    • In the fight with Spike, Angel accidentally reveals to the rest of the Wolfram & Hart staff that he's been turned into a puppet, which he was desperately trying to hide. Busted, he glares at his colleagues. The best part about Puppet Angel vs. Spike is that Puppet Angel wins. In all fairness, Spike was laughing too hard to actually be able to put up a decent fight.
    • Apart from the aforementioned Spike scenes, we have Puppet!Angel getting furious because he can't work a remote with his puppet hands; Puppet!Angel firing Fred for saying how cute he is and trying to ruffle his puppet hair; Puppet!Angel revealing his nose comes off; Puppet!Angel getting attacked by his werewolf love interest and getting carried around by Lorne, who's yelling in panic for a doctor as Angel "bleeds" stuffing everywhere; Puppet!Angel morphing into vampface; the show doing a Power Walk, a trope it's very fond of, and the camera having to pan down so we can see the wee little puppet man; the creator of Smile Time [a children's TV program] singing the Courage and Pluck song at Lorne for being in the entertainment industry despite his "deformities;" The puppet dog insisting that although their show is evil and hospitalizes small children, they still have to maintain a high standard of "quality edutainment!"
    • There's also the part where a giant blue fuzzy puppet with a tooty horn for a mouth tries to strangle Wesley.
    • Angel gets all excited that Smile Time is on and rushes to watch it, but finds he can only watch about five seconds of a motivation song before the Tastes Like Diabetes nature of the show gets to him. He looks like he's about to blow his top. Five seconds later he's shaking with rage and demands a black ops team attack the show because it annoys him so much.
    • After Angel dismisses his team he's moping about the fact he's a puppet, and that self esteem song he got so worked up over is still playing, which makes his mood worse. Suddenly he hears his girlfriend, panics and dives behind his desk.
    • "Is there a Gepetto in the house?!?"
    • "I do not have puppet cancer!"
    • The fact that said demon puppets were giving their "puppeteer" the inverted treatment—part horror, part utterly hilarious.
    Make him swallow his tongue again!
  • A Hole In The World (5x15)
    • A flashback showing Fred promising her mother that she'll live a safe, boring life in LA smash cuts to Fred in the present day letting out an exhilarated battle yell as she unleashes a flamethrower on a nest of demon bug larvae.
    • Gunn cheerfully singing "Three Little Maids from School" from The Mikado, then quickly switching to rap when he realizes Wesley is watching him.
      • And his rapping is horrible.
    • And then we have Gunn claiming he's getting back together with Fred, going into a whole description about how they met the night before and talked for hours and it was just like old times and "I can't even keep this up because your face is gonna make me weep. Wes, I am so messing with you."
      • What makes it so funny is that this wasn't just Gunn teasing Wesley, it was essentially Joss Whedon trolling the entire fandom.
    • In one of the most famous scenes in the entire Buffyverse, Wesley walks into Angel's office, where Angel and Spike are engaged in a heated debate. Spike is talking about primal power, while Angel maintains that humans have evolved. When Wesley inquires as to the subject of conversation, he discovers that Spike and Angel have been arguing about who would win if astronauts and cavemen got into a fight.
    Wesley: (after a long, incredulous pause) ...Ah. You've been yelling at each other for forty minutes about this.
    (Angel looks away sheepishly while Spike defiantly holds eye contact with Wes)
    Wesley: (sighs and gives in) Do the astronauts have weapons?
    Angel and Spike: No!
    • On the DVD commentary, Joss Whedon reveals the story behind the debate. Doug Petrie, one of the producers from Buffy, came over to their set, found a random blackboard, and wrote "Cavemen Vs. Astronauts. Weapons to be determined. Who would win?" and just left it there for someone to find. The entire cast and crew spent the next three days arguing about it, and according to Joss, the issue was never actually settled.
    • The last scene right before the tragedy starts.
    Angel: Look. I can't do this any more.
    Spike: Admitting defeat, are we?
    Angel: You and me. This isn't working out.
    Spike: (faux-tragically) Are you saying we should start annoying other people?
    • A moment later
    Angel: Look, Wolfram & Hart has got offices in every major city in the world, and a lot more out of it. I'll give you the resources you need to go anywhere. Cars, gadgets, expense account. You fight the good fight. But in style...and if possible, in Outer Mongolia.
    • Even as she lay dying, Fred was still able to pull off this gem:
    Fred: It's my boys. I haven't had this many big, strapping men at my bedside since that night with the varsity lacrosse team. (beat) That was a joke.
  • Shells (5x16)
    • Despite being one of the most heartwrenching episodes ever written, it still has a few funny moments. Special mention goes to the part where Wesley, unaware of Knox's treachery, notices that Gunn and Harmony have the young scientist tied up.
    Harmony: We're gonna torture him!
    Wesley: (still dazed and reeling from Fred's death) Good. (beat) Why?
  • Underneath (5x17)
    • Illyria talking about how she once went to a world with nothing but shrimp.
    Illyria: I tired of that one quickly.
    • This is a Call Back to season four of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, when Anya mentioned both that one and the No Shrimp world. It was a four-year brick joke. From another series.
  • Origin (5x18)
    • Most of the scenes with Illyria, Spike, and Wesley are kind of...darkly funny. The three of them have a particularly odd dynamic. A few scenes from this episode especially stand out.
    Illyria: (to Wesley) You reek of frustration. Curls off of you like smoke.
    Spike: Actually, love, we call that scotch.
    • And this bit a moment later:
    Illyria: In my time, a leader would punish your insolence with death.
    Wesley: We're not being insolent, Illyria.
    Spike: I am.
    • Connor meets Illyria while he's touring Wolfram & Hart, with no memory of his real life (and by extension the events of season 4).
    Illyria: This one is lusting after me.
    Connor: It's the leather. I guess I always had a thing for older women.
    Angel: (muttering) They were supposed to fix that...
  • Time Bomb (5x19)
    • Gunn is still in the hell dimension where he decided to stay in order to get Lindsey out, as someone had to take Lindsey's place. This means that every time he goes into the basement of an otherwise pleasant illusion, Gunn's heart is ripped out by an executioner. When Gunn is rescued, someone has to take his place. Cut to the executioner tearing out his own heart.
      • Fridge Humor when you realize that he quite likely endured the same reality as Lindsey and Gunn, including the cheerful family life. Now imagine that demon snuggling in bed with his "wife," strolling outside to get the morning paper, and helping his "son" with homework.
    • Illyria goes off on one of her boasts about what it was like to be a God. Spike isn't impressed.
    Illyria: When the world met me, it shuddered, groaned. It knelt at my feet!
    Spike: "Dear Penthouse, I don't normally write letters like this, but..."
    Illyria: (THWACK)
  • The Girl In Question (5x20)
    Angel: (about Buffy) How'd she ever fall for a centuries-old guy with a dark past who may or may not be evil?
    • The bar fight between Angel and Spike is hilarious. Especially with their choice of background music.
    • The entire episode is filled with gems like this. In particular, the flashbacks showing that Spike and Drusilla were part of the new wave in Italy during the 50's, Spike and Angel getting cuckolded and snubbed by The Immortal throughout history, and the Italian branch of Wolfram & Hart.
      • In particular, Spike's reaction to finding Drusilla in the Immortal's chamber.
    • Angel and Spike argue over who saved the world the most. Spike brings up closing the Hellmouth, but Angel counters that he died and wore a necklace. Apparently it doesn't count, despite the fact that Angel's example has him being run through with a sword, even if he claims he told Buffy to do it.
    • Spike's legendary jacket gets destroyed, and he starts mourning and claiming it's irreplaceable, only for some Wolfram & Hart employees to hand him an identical jacket a moment later.
  • Power Play (5x21)
    Drogyn: It's...some kind of task...You must collect the fruit and crystals!
  • Not Fade Away (5x22)
    • During Angel's fight with Hamilton.
    Angel: People who don't care about anything will never understand the people who do.
    Hamilton: Yeah, but we won't care.
    • Lindsey apparently still hasn't forgotten about Angel pretending to fall asleep during his origin story back in season one. He finally gets payback in this episode, zoning out during Angel's Patrick Stewart Speech.
    • Angel confronts Harmony for betraying him to Hamilton.
    Harmony: He's not my boyfriend! I mean, I certainly didn't betray you!
    Angel: Drop the act, Harm.
    Harmony: It's not an act! I'm really this nervous!
    Angel: I knew you'd turn on me. I just didn't know when.
    Harmony: What do you mean you knew?
    Angel: Loyalty isn't high on your list.
    Harmony: Oh, is that right? I'll have you know I am damn loyal, dumbass.
    Angel: You betrayed me. You are betraying me now as we are talking.
    Harmony: Because you never had any confidence in me!
    Angel: No, because you have no soul!
    Harmony: I would if you had confidence in me.
    Angel: Get out of the building.
    Harmony: Are you firing me?
    Angel: Among other things, yes.
    Harmony: ...Do you think I can get a recommendation?
    Angel: Yeah, okay.
    Harmony: But, you see, if you don't so much live, is the other thing. How will I-
    Angel: It's already in the desk.
    Harmony: Oh! You're the best!
    • When the team is planning their attack on The Circle of the Black Thorn
    Angel: This is going to sound a bit pretentious, but one of you is going to betray me.
    (Spike raises his hand)
    Angel: Wes.
    Spike: (disappointed) Oh. Can I deny you three times?