Dethroning Moment / Fan Works

aka: Fanfic

Be thankful the below moments aren't Canon.

Keep in mind:

• Sign your entries.
• One moment per work to a troper, if multiple entries are signed to the same troper the more recent one will be cut.
• Moments only, no "just everything he said," or "This entire comic," or "This entire series" entries.
• No contesting entries. This is subjective, the entry is their opinion.
• No natter. As above, anything contesting an entry will be cut, and anything that's just contributing more can be made its own entry.
• Explain why it's a Dethroning Moment of Suck.
• No Real Life examples, including Executive Meddling. That is just asking for trouble.
• No ALLCAPS, no bold, and no italics unless it's the title of a work. We are not yelling the DMoSs out loud.

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The following series have their own pages:

• My Brave Pony: Starfleet Magic

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• Infinity Train: Blossoming Trail:
  • Androne-5: There are many moments I could pinpoint, but I'm gonna go with the courtroom scene here. Parker's The Scrappy of the Blossomverse for a reason: he's a little brat who can't keep his mouth shut, blames everybody else for what's going on, gets incredibly violent at the slightest provocation, and basically worships and glorifies Chloe to an unhealthy extent. His courtroom scene after the events of Act 2 was the final shot at redeeming him, but it fell completely flat: despite being judged for his atrocities, it ultimately came across more as Parker snapping and yelling at everybody else yet again, with the proof he showed being taken at face value without further context, and even getting away with Shaming the Mob he personally tortured and victimized, all without even being called out on his blatant hypocrisy. In short, the courtroom came less like Parker's final hurrah and more like him giving the audience one last middle finger for not agreeing with him.
  • Braz: I can forgive Ash developing a Guilt Complex and ending up together with the same person that gave him one in the first place. I can forgive Chloe acting like a spiteful brat that blames everyone for not reading her mind. I can even forgive the Unown fiasco. But what I can't forgive is the nightmare therapy that Goh was put through; the boy's mistakes were demonized as if these were crimes against humanity. He was forced to see Chloe, Tokio, Raboot and even his own grandma die, he got his apologies rejected by everyone in the nightmare despite apologizing being the only thing he could do, and last but not least he decides to bury himself alive after all of this, right before he woke up and had the mother of all mental breakdowns to the point of ending up on fricking suicide ward. And then that sociopathic brat named Parker claimed that this entire emotional and psychological torture was Tough Love. This became the point where my view on this story began to sour, my sympathy for Chloe and Parker died, and I even considered stopping my own reading experience of it (but I wanted to see how it ended). But to me this moment was the straw that snapped the camel's back.
  • MightyFan217: Infinity Train: Knight of the Orange Lily: The story is meant to be a deconstruction of Gladion's Designated Hero status in the anime, but completely fails to take Faba's usage of his Hypno into the equation. Evne under the most generous of circumstances with Gladion being willing to trust anyone to tell them what happened, or even tell Lillie herself about what had happened, it's all a moot point in the end unless you can completely deal with Faba proper; if Faba can get away from all of it as unscathed as possible, he can render the entire situation All for Nothing easily, and it's implied he already has done this before for 4 years in a row. Talk about Critical Research Failure when trying to come up with a fanfic whose premise only works by completely ignoring the actions of a prevalent antagonistic individual like Faba who had spent the past four years maintaining the entire lie of his own actions and the lack of consequences he suffered by how he went about erasing people's memories.
• Jonn: Harry Potter And The Invincible Technomage. I stopped reading when Iron Man comes storming into Hogwarts, during breakfast, and gets angry at Dumbledore for putting his son in danger. The person who put Harry in danger was Harry himself. And Dumbledore's response: does he explain the situation? Does he try to take it someplace more private? Does he act like a harmless eccentric? No, he promptly tries to mind control Iron Man. This is so out of character I literally cannot imagine canonical Dumbledore doing it.
  • Time Traveler Jessica: For me, that actually came later, but with the same character. I was willing to accept that this fic was going to use a darker interpretation of Dumbledore, because frankly I think it's a legitimate Alternative Character Interpretation. But at one point Harry and Tony's work on combining magic with technology has led to Muggle music being played on devices in Hogwarts, and Dumbledore is against it. Whatever else you can say about Dumbledore, he is the only character in the books who had anything to do with muggle culture - reading muggle newspapers and liking muggle candies - so I refuse to believe his reaction to this new source of interaction with muggle culture - which even the Slytherins were getting into - would be anything short of delighted.
• Mokyn: A How to Train Your Dragon fan fic, Principles and Elements, was one I was actually very much enjoying the first time I read it. It's an AU of the movie that also fits in supernatural elements of witches and vampires to add to the dragons, and while by no means perfect, it was perfectly good in my eyes. Until about chapter 14 or so (my memory is foggy on this). During a big battle between many of these supernatural factions, there is a sentence that says "Bodies fell to the ground like prisoners in a concentration camp." Buh... What?! I'm reading a fun adventure with dragons and witches and things, and the author suddenly decides to pull out Holocaust references?! I had only recently watched Night and Fog at the time, a documentary showing just how gruesome the concentration camps were, so I immediately got the images of that in my head and back-buttoned out of the fic right then and have yet to return to it. The most annoying thing? They could just written, "Bodies fell to the ground" and the story would not be affected. They used a horrible, horrible moment of human history for a throwaway sentence! This still bothers me even after months of leaving the fic behind.
• REV 6 Pilot on The Sun Soul. In chapter 22, Ash fights Jessie in a battle that ends up with her injured and trapped. Mind you, the Rocket trio is extremely dangerous in this fic, and Ash was almost killed by them on several occasions before then. And he takes her to be treated anyway! He even lampshades how bad the idea is, and we see how dearly he pays for being right later on when she kills Misty. When the author is called out on it, he says he did it like that because bad things happen in the real world for no damn reason. Well, congratulations, Fifty, you managed to lose much more than one reader.
  • The Dog Sage: Not to mention that the author is wrong. It didn't happen for "no damn reason". It happened because Ash decided to help an enemy who's attempted to kill him and those he cares about on several occasions. His "explanation" is just a cop-out, something that authors use whenever they want to try and justify a Ass Pull. And having the character holding the Idiot Ball hang a lampshade on it just makes it worse.
• The Electric Piper: A Girl Who Brought Down the World crossed the line when it was revealed that the CWC-expy was created by God as a drunken joke.
• Ack Sed: I accepted the American focus of Harry Potter and the Nightmares of Futures Past; it's a Peggy Sue, write what you know, yadda yadda. Further chapters left that behind. That's good. Then he introduced the ignorant Irish terrorists. As someone who lived through the tail-end of The Troubles, this was in poor taste. I expected far better, especially as he also wrote my favourite story.
  • Why Not Now: There were a lot of stupid moments that came before this one, such as Dumbledore's conviction that Harry was another child Hitler, the more complicated use of words and terms that distances itself from the original Harry Potter lore, Harry threatening Hermione over something she never did in the future, Mr. Granger's Character Derailment, but they were still small moments that I could overlook because the quality of the story was good. Then... came this moment. Charlie Weasley threatens to murder Harry. That's not an exaggeration, that's not an overstatement, he literally comes out and tells Harry that if he hurts Ginny, he'll feed him to a dragon just to get rid of the evidence. And I thought Mr. Granger was portrayed negatively. This is far from Alternate Character Interpretation; this right here is character assassination, and Fridge Horror quickly abounds when you wonder if the author himself would ever make these death threats to potential suitors of his children, if he has any. I could live with the stupidity before, but I cannot live with this. I'm done with this story.
• On Soaring Wings: For the most part I tried to enjoy The Laughing Fox, even though I thought the author was kinda a jerkass (Making a poll for whether he should spare Zabuza, and Haku then telling everyone it didn't matter what they picked, he was still killing them off.) But then there comes this that makes the entire series completely unreadable when Batman, John Stewart, Nightwing, and Martian Manhunter are captured by Konoha ninjas where Joker is currently living. The heroes are then brutally tortured, mutilated, and psychologically broken in the worst ways I could possibly imagine. At no point whatsoever does anyone ever question the morality of this action, not even The Third Hokage! Designated Hero does not even begin to describe it.
  • St0rmrage 14: Not to mention the very idea that Batman, John Stewart, Nightwing or Martian Manhunter can be broken by torture. Those four men are some of the biggest determinators in the entire DCU! John Stewart's powers actually run on his will power! And the man practically recreated an entire planet with just that! J'onn near literally watched his entire species die out in an inferno and didn't break. Nightwing helped defeat Trigon! And Batman has recovered having his damn back broken!
• Super Saiya Man: From the well known and beloved fanfic, A Mother's Love by Lord in the Land of Fire. Okay, I can forgive Four-Tailed Naruto taking down a noob MS Sasuke (even though it was an infuriating Anti-Climax), I can forgive Orochimaru going down so easily. I can forgive Gaara's death. What I can't forgive? Naruto fodderizing all of the Akatsuki, including his counters Pain and Kisame, the second he regains the Fox and controls it. Seriously, LILOF could have made an epic, several chapter spanning arc of a Hokage Naruto who just mastered the Fox taking on Akatsuki if he wanted to do it alone. Instead... he fodderizes them in one chapter. Nevermind actually justifying the Uchiha Massacre in this universe when they became Properly Paranoid about Naruto's intentions to their clan after several biased posts. In canon, it's rather ambiguous. Here? Konoha deserved that rebellion... but instead Konoha goes on and conquers all nations, Naruto gets a second wife, and starts a Pax Romana. How much more God-Mode Sue can you get?
• Super Chaos: I've never liked Pokemon Revolution by Farla (mainly because she takes the animal rights thing too far) and Charles Rocketboy, but the absolute low point is chapter 17, when Ash and Gary suddenly become even more out of character than they already were. Random juvenile insults (dickhead, etc.) are thrown as Ash and Gary are fighting for no real reason. WTF.
• Gun Psycho: Past Sins, despite being well-written, is pretty bland but tolerable for the most part thus far (Not so much just reading it but commentating on it as well to be honest) until chapter 10. The absolute nadir for me was the part where Queen Nyxie trying to bring about eternal night just because it was what was expected of her (to be fair, she was abandoned, but a might extreme a reaction don't you think?) I pretty much stopped caring after that part. However, since I started "reading" the story, that doesn't mean I'm turning back now.
  • 45xxx: I have my own moment from Past Sins. Namely, Spell Nexus brainwashing Twilight in chapter 16. Why? ... let me explain it to you like this: I really find it a little wrong to brainwash a mother to tell their child to their face how much they don't like said child. It doesn't help any when said mother attacks their child, and the brainwasher in question uses this as an excuse to hang said mother. I've only read chapter 16 all the way through once, and, since then, I skip that large part. If it wasn't for Nyx saving Twilight from being hanged near the end, I would've skipped the chapter entirely.
• Some New Guy: The Reset Button in Nobody Dies, mainly because it completely negates all the excellent Character Development of season 4. Ichi is back to being a near-catatonic wreck. Uri is back to being an overprotective, arrogant asshole. Mana is still a slave in all but name to NHIS. Gendo still hates Ichi for something that wasn't even her fault. All because the author wanted to appease the Vocal Minority that disliked season 4.
• kablammin45: This otherwise cool fanfic about Ed, Edd n Eddy in Kingdom Hearts has the chapter in the link, which midway through, the world of Johnny Test blown up. Call it a Moment of Awesome, but I'm pretty much neutral to that series, and with the lack of angst from the good guys, as well as some mean spirited mockery at some poor dude who wanted Johnny in it.
• A Black Raptor: For me, a relatively good story called Spider-Man: Partners reached its DMOS in chapter 50 when the author quit caring about grammar. Nobody in the story since has been able to convey realistic dialog. At times it seems just a little out of character, but between Chapter 50 to 53 (possibly moreso, since as of this writing chapter 54 only just came out and I'm yet to read it, but 53 seemed to improve) the dialog has became so bad that it looks like a child has written it.
• Goldude: I enjoy The Vinyl Scratch Tapes, and I'd really like to continue enjoying it. However, there's something that's stopping me. In the latest chapter, Luna visited Blueblood's and Trixie's radio show. After some talking, Luna tells the both of them that their justice was misplaced. Then Vinyl Scratch shows up, prompting Luna to Kick the Dog by convincing Vinyl that she's a horrible person. This is horrendous for a number of reasons. First, there's the fact that Celestia was completely fine with Vinyl calling her out like that. Celestia never got angry, she never even got irritated. If what Luna said about there being no other choice about Celestia banishing Luna to the moon, then why didn't Celestia not have any problem at all with Vinyl Scratch calling her out? Secondly, Luna had just gotten finished teaching both Blueblood and Trixie a lesson about getting justice when there's no need to. Since Celestia had absolutely no problem at all with being called out, this makes Luna the one trying to achieve justice when there's no need for it. So not only is Luna a complete jerk, she's also a hypocrite. Third, there's the matter of making the banishing Luna to the Moon being no other choice canon. There's no signs of this being true in any of the earlier chapters, so this just comes completely out of left-field. This also makes the fact that this development either makes Celestia stupid for not telling Vinyl that there was no choice, or Luna is completely misinformed, making her a complete jerk, a hypocrite, and stupid.
  • 45xxx: Buddy, you hit the nail on the head. That chapter I hate for the exact bit you described. In fact, I still hate it in spite of the Author's Saving Throw done in the next chapter. (Brief aside: I don't think Luna was legitimately sorry for what she did. This pisses me off even more.)
• GoneRampant: Mass Vexations was an interesting Self-Insert at the start of its run, with the second being one of the better fanfics I've read in the last while. However, Mass Vexations 3 throws some pretty big curveballs in its recent arcs, with the one leaving the most bitter taste in my mouth being Tali getting raped by an exiled quarian. The suddenness of it, alongside the fact that Art has apparently became one of the Normandy's COs alongside Garrus and Miranda after Shepard has been arrested by the Council, since Art seems to be the only member of the Normandy (which has not lost much of the team from Mass Effect 2 along with people from other dimensions) who can actually do something.
• xployalist: A fairly engaging retelling of Majora's Mask, Looking back at Termina, was highly enjoyable up until chapter 6. My enjoyment of this fic completely nosedived at two sentences. "Malon took out a sandwich and tossed it to Link. Link looked inside and found a Deku Scrub sandwich. It warmed Link's heart to know that Malon still went all out to find his favorite meats." Up until this point, I regarded this fic as an above-average retelling with a framing device. But because of this trio of sentences, this fic was rendered irredemable. First of all, Deku Scrubs are shown by their character design to be plant people, and therefore not have what we would recognize as "meat". This is also shown by Deku Link's vulnerability to fire: wood burns much more easily than flesh. Secondly, Link is willingly eating the "meat" of a sentient being that someone murdered, and no one has a problem with it. He undoubtedly knows that Deku Scrubs as sentient lifeforms, as they are shown to be capable of speech and barter in Ocarina of Time and have their own friggin palace in Majora's Mask, complete with architecture, organized security force, and music. Thirdly, Deku Scrubs aren't like cows. Sentient beings usually don't enjoy being killed to serve as the consumable energy source of others, and will voice their complaints towards you. They're smart enough to try to escape being cattle that will eventually die to feed others. So where is the "meat" coming from? Did Malon go out to the Lost Woods and find a Deku Scrub to murder and slice into pieces, all for Link?
• REV 6 Pilot again, this time for An Experiment. For at least the first twenty chapters, this is an interesting sort of crossover between My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic and Portal, full of the wackiness that one could expect from a fusion of those two fandoms. Then Twilight starts to fall for Wheatley, and that's when things go to shit. For some reason, the amiable unicorn we all know and love undergoes a considerable lot of Character Derailment, becoming the typical abusive anime girl with the Double Standard: Abuse, Female on Male to back it up. Just because Wheatley is Oblivious to Love and says she is his best friend when she gives him his custom suit, she blasts him with magic. He takes the wrong hint and asks if she's in heat. She responds with a hoof to his face. When he makes the same off-hand comment to Applejack later, she throws a freaking table at him! Seriously, Midi, what the fuck? Is that supposed to be funny? Sure, the latter two were somewhat rude on his part, but that does not warrant violence of that degree, much less so coming from the member of a race that is depicted in canon as not nearly as violent as you made her out to be!
• fluffything: Years ago I stumbled across a Danny Phantom / Winx Club crossover fanfic (I cannot remember the name of said fanfic, though). The fanfic in-and-of-itself was your typical mediocre written-by-a-teenager crossover you'd expect to find on the internet. The DMOS comes in when one scene has Dan Phantom (AKA Dark Danny) raping one of the Winx Club members (I think it was Bloom). Just... No, no, no. There is so much wrong with that I don't know where to begin. For one thing, Dan doesn't rape people. Yes, he is a psychotic evil monstrosity that enjoys murder, destruction, and being a total ass in general. But, he is certainly not a rapist. Second, really? Just, really? Look, rape is a very serious issue and should be handled delicately and with a respectful tone towards actual rape victims. This crossover fails to do so. It's nothing more than your typical Rape as Drama teenybopper scene. Disgusting doesn't even begin to cover it.
• Dialga X: Cornova's latest story Poké Wars: The Convalescence was pretty good but hit a major low point with the conversation between Ash and Misty when he goes to have his hair cut, and makes a gratuitous reference to My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic that was shoehorned in just so Cornova could show that he's a brony.
  "Is the length okay?"
  Ash studied himself in the mirror once more. "The length's fine."
  "How about the style?"
  "The style's fine, just make it a little cooler."
  Misty rolled her eyes and sighed, repositioning her hands to her hips. "Just telling me 'cooler' isn't helpful. Give me something to work with. How much is a little?"
  "It needs to be like fifteen or twenty percent cooler?" Ash offered sheepishly.
  "You're impossible sometimes," the red head grunted.
• nicktoonhero: Ask Pun Pony is a rather amusing Ask a Pony blog about an Original Character pony who goes around making (often) bad puns. But this one particular entry is what practically ruined Pun Pony in the eyes of nearly all of her followers. Pun Pony becomes an Author Avatar for the writer who was drawing her at the time, and she starts giving out her incredibly negative views on the Mane Six. All the stuff she says about them are completely off, having such gems as calling Rainbow Dash a living stereotype about pegasi, and calling out Twilight Sparkle for treating the very library she lives in like her own personal home. And apparently, she doesn't have anything bad to say about Pinkie Pie, even though she has flaws of her own. This entry is basically the equivalent of the times Brian talked about his beliefs, which are known to be very pretentious. Overall, the entry is not funny, it has little to do about a pony making puns, and it angered a lot of bronies (including me) who know the main characters like the palm of their hands.
• Some New Guy: Mare Do Well Meets Her Match has the Humiliation Conga The Mane Five (sans Rainbow Dash) after protagonist Rob Stallion dies in a Heroic Sacrifice against a Hydra the Five had unknowingly awoken during their Mare Do Well plan. Yes, Twilight and co screwed up, majorly, but the way everyone calls them out for what they've done just seems way over the top and dark. Thankfully, the following chapters after this event are much better, but this was the low point of the story in my opinion.
• GranObs: RainbowDoubleDash's Lunaverse winds up here with the season 1 conclusion, "At the Grand Galloping Gala". A huge Mood Whiplash from the previous stories, this fic shows the government of Equestria as grim, decayed, and fundamentally corrupted to the point where there is literally not one good legislator or noble in the nation. The first six chapters of the story are Trixie trying, and failing, to get funding to rebuild the wrecked town of Ponyville. After Luna finally gets them the money, Trixie and co. realize the only way to stop the corruption in the Court is to literally have a blackmailer arrested by the Guards so she'll tell all she knows in exchange for a plea. This done, Luna flips out at the Court, castigating them for being terrible and says that all of them are hopelessly corrupt. (Trixie, who has done more bad things than many ponies on the Court, is excluded, because she's the protagonist and it's okay when she does bad things). She threatens to disband the government if even a single Courtier steps out of line again, which is ridiculous considering the country is about to be invaded and unfair to boot. The L6 then convince Luna that it's okay to rule by fear. The story ends with Trixie pretending to poison Blueblood and ordering him not to tell anypony about what she did or else she'll trigger the poison, an action absolutely identical to the ones Luna just castigated... but again, Trixie is the protagonist, so it's okay.
• Kenya Starflight: I came across a Transformers fanfic a long time ago (so long ago that I can't tell you the title or even if it still exists online) that, for the first two chapters, was little more than "just another Lemon where Megatron sleeps with a love interest," which are so commonplace they're barely worth worrying about anymore. What made this one cross over into "completely irredeemable" territory was the fact that the author saw fit to pull a Bleedman and use 9/11 as a friggin' plot point. Seriously, the love interest was somehow involved in the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center, was injured in the chaos, and while unconscious had a vision of her unborn child which gave her the will to keep going. Artistic License – Biology aside, using the 9/11 attacks as a plot device to give Megatron and your love interest a baby is tasteless, disrespectful, and completely unnecessary.
• Knight9910: I'd like to complain about a fanfic I was actually a part of (though I wasn't one of the writers at the time). Super Smash Stadium, the REX storyline. This was intended to be an "interactive story" linking the forums and the site, with a villain named Rex (or !REX Airship! as he was known on the forums) appearing, messing with people on the forums, and then being defeated in the fic itself. Sounds fun, right? It might have been... except that the guy they got to play Rex ended up being one of the writers' sadistic hacker friend and he... went pretty crazy. Rather than the light-hearted messing with fans he was supposed to do, he actively tormented people, made them believe the site itself had been hacked and was now going to be gone forever (this coming just a few short months after the message boards actually were hacked didn't help), threatened members with computer viruses, and generally made a huge mess of things. Many members left out of fear, and many more left in disgust when Rex's true identity was revealed. Definitely, definitely the lowest point for the Stadium.
• MF1993: I will admit that I only watched the crossover part of Double Rainboom. By itself, the idea of bringing in The Powerpuff Girls is a massive Headscratcher for a fan video that was supposed to emulate the style of the show it's based on, but what made shook my head is how they portrayed them. Needless to say they really Took a Level in Jerkass in this fic. When the monster just gave up and left, the girls chased after the monster to finish him off, despite the monster begging for mercy instead of just letting him go like Rainbow Dash did. My reaction was pretty much identical to Rainbow Dash. As a guy who watched The Powerpuff Girls growing up, I know by heart that they would never do that. While they can get violent at times, they are also very merciful and I don't remember them just normally beating up bad guys when they are begging for mercy, or at least when Craig McCracken was still working on the show. I also thought that Blossom seemed much more irresponsible then she was supposed to be. The way she said to give Rainbow a head start with an evil smirk is once again out of character. I thought they would try to help Rainbow out after playing with her for awhile, but they just chase her around town without a second thought. Overall, if you are gonna make a crossover, go ahead, but please make sure to get the characters right before putting it in the video, especially if you want to give it to an audience who has never seen the crossed franchises before. You really need to give them a good impression. This does not give them a good impression is all I'm saying.
• Some New Guy: The Coop, following weeks of inactivity, provides us all with a needlessly bleak, super-"edgy" sudden downer ending apropos of absolutely nothing—every Scootaloo other than Factory dies a horrible, graphic death, all just so the author could make a reboot. If that ain't a horrid note to end/start on, I don't know what is. Not since the constant Diaboli Ex Machina of Motherly Scootaloo has a pony tumblr pissed me off this much.
• InTheGallbladder: Speaking of Ask a Pony, there's Ask Princess Molestia. I enjoyed the bawdy humor and the art style (especially the facial expressions) believing all the way the series' disclaimer: "If you take this site seriously, you really do belong on the moon." But then this came up, during the most heated period of controversy surrounding the blog in memory. The "Down With Cake" line makes it clear this was JJ himself using the comic as a means to weigh in on the matter. The message he wanted to get across was unclear, however, it's pretty obvious he had no understanding of the reasons people might take umbrage at the blog. Plus, it's in response to a question that hadn't even hinted at having a thing to do with the affairs. I'll admit, I'd been looking for reasons to not like John Joseco, but this is a much better excuse than any I could come up with.
• Falconwing: Now I loved Shinobi of the High Seas. I think it's one of the best fanfics of its genre on the sight. However one moment that really irritates me in hindsight was the fact that Naruto wasn't even at the Battle of Marineford. Now look I don't like it when crossover characters hijack the plot entirely, however there is only so much In Spite of a Nail I can take. This is literally the fourth time Naruto's presence has had no real impact on the story or the events of canon. Taking things to the other extreme is no less annoying than having him around to change anything. If his prescece in this world has no real impact on the Straw Hats' journey, then why the hell is he even interacting with them at all?
• Calamity 2007: I used to love Diamond in the Rough (Touhou) but episode 13 has a moment which made me put the whole series in question. It is the scene near the end of the fight between the Diamondback Beasts and Flandre, where they decide to "Screw Spell Card Rules" and paralyze her. Now the problem I have is that this seems to ignore Flandre's natural ability to destroy anything at will, which is why she is always fought with Spell Card Rules, to suppress this ability. It just seemed that Spaztique conveniently forgot that she could do that just for a Wham Episode. This becomes especially annoying when you see the previous episode where Tenshi takes on a not so subtle rant about misinterpreting the characters, like Yuuka being a sadist or Tenshi being masochist. Then come the next episode and it seemed that Spaztique ignores Flandre's canon power for the sake of drama. The next episode attempts to Hand Wave this by Flandre believing in Honor Before Reason but that still is a fan-created personality trait, and thus can be taken as a misinterpretation, just to excuse this scene and center the blame on Brolli.
  • Rob Has: I seconded that about Flandre Scarlet, as she only appeared in two games, "Embodiment Of Scarlet Devil" and "Shoot The Bulet". Those two games don't have enough explanation about Flandre's character traits. Spaztique used his own interpretation of Flandre Scarlet and shoved it into his audiences' throat, expecting them to fully accepted it as "canon".
• TheDogSage: From the Kenchi618 fanfic Better Left Unsaid, we have a scene in chapter 6 where Kurenai catches Naruto smoking. Now, Kurenai is not his caretaker in this fic, nor has she had anything to do with him before this. Now, when she catches him, she decides he needs to be punished, despite, as said before, she's not only not his caretaker, but this is her first meeting with him. And how does she punish him? By stealing his and his team's money to buy him three cartons of cigarettes, which equal 48 packs according to this fic, and forces him to smoke them. All at once. Now, considering a pack has between 20 to 25 cigarettes in them, this means that she forced Naruto to smoke between 960 and 1200 cigarettes in a single sitting. By all rights, he should be dead. And noone says or does anything about this horrific act, and she's allowed to get away with essentially torturing him. The fic even states he puked and lost consciousness afterwards. And it doesn't even work. All she does is get him addicted to cigarettes.
• Blue Guy: I'm nominating two very similar moments from two Calvinverse stories: Calvin and Hobbes: The Movie and Trouble Island, which both end with Calvin using The Power of Rock to defeat his enemies. It just doesn't make sense and comes out of nowhere. Granted, the latter story handles things a bit better, but it's still kind of stupid.
  • Gone in the remakes, thankfully.
• Jetpack Percy: Since this involves real life people, I'm counting this as a fanfic (even if I don't have a problem with the celebrities I mention below in Real Life, because this seems to be an Alternate Continuity to our world), and let me tell you, 'Episode 6' of the Davina's House Party series pissed me off to no end, even as a fan of WAM, even if the rest of the series was a DMOS for me, for similar reasons, but 'whole series' entries are banned. It was pointless, mean-spirited tripe from beginning to end. And honestly, I had a hard time choosing what should be the DMOS: The part where Rachel Riley is punished for, and I quote, "having a birthday", or the part where the so-called 'fractured' boy, really Davina's made-up-by the-author nephew, reveals he was bribed by Davina to dunk Sarah Jane Mee into a tank full of mud. Repeatedly. What? You do not exploit charity out of someone. Hell, I was fooled myself into thinking that Sarah Jane Mee was doing this out of a Pseudo 'Make a Wish' foundation, but no, like always, Davina gets away with torturing another victim on her show, for no reason other than she thinks it's funny. To make matters worse, neither Davina, nor the boy, show any regrets for what they did. It gets worse when Rachel Riley is spanked by Davina for attempting to reveal that she was the one who set up the mud dunking in the first place. Yeah. Newsflash, Tellygunge writers: torturing characters who did not deserve it is not funny, especially when in You Bet Your Own Back, episode 1, they just let Rachel suffer again, so Davina can get away with what all she did! Trust me, at the end, I wanted to punch Davina in her smug little face for getting away with all this crap. And they know it too, because they even quoted part of my DMOS on their website. (See right)
  • Vanilla X Slime: I'd consider myself a fan of TG's work, but I agree that Davina's House Party as a whole went way too far in humiliating Rachel while turning Davina into a relentless Alpha Bitch with no redeeming qualities. In fairness to You Bet Your Own Back Episode 1, the reader base voted not to let Davina have her comeuppance, but like you said, things went too far nevertheless. My personal DMOS from that site comes from the first Coulrophobia chapter, wherein a poor woman called Sarah gets humiliated by a pair of mean-spirited, perverted clowns. She gets messy (which is par for the course for WAM stories, of course), but the worst part comes when she gets smacked in the head with a plank of wood. What's more, like Davina, these clowns never get any comeuppance, and nobody seems to care for Sarah's welfare or feelings - not even her own husband. It's just painful to read.
• Korodzik: The My Little Pony fanfic Of Challenges and Kisses begins as an adorable, humorous and very promising story about Featherweight's awkward school crush. Then, however, the author apparently decided this wasn't interesting enough and proceeded to insert raunchy jokes about sex toys and genitals... culminating in the Dethroning Moment where, out of the blue, Twilight Sparkle and Cheerilee have almost on-screen lesbian sex while Featherweight is watching. How in the world could anyone think it a good idea to turn a perfectly good, cute story into a crass sex comedy without warning?
• The Nerf Guy: Chapter 39 of YuGiOh The Thousand Year Door Redux. Poison has a monster called Queen's Machine on the board as well as DNA Surgery to make all of Andy's monsters Machine-type; Queen's Machine cannot be attacked by Machine-type monsters. Nothing wrong there. Andy finds he can attack directly. Again, nothing wrong there. Then you get to the bottom of the chapter detailing the effects of the fanmade and Anime-only cards and find that Queen's Machine's effect doesn't say anything about direct attacks. Here, we have a problem. A slight and easily-solved problem, but a problem nonetheless. Not that bad on its own, but when the author was confronted about it, he tried to justify the wording of the effect by comparing it to similar cards. The cards he used (The Legendary Fisherman, Guardian Kay'est, Deepsea Warrior, and Rod of Silence - Kay'est) all reek of Falsely Advertised Accuracy; the latter two especially since they don't say anything about attacks. When called out on that, he decided that since it was his fanmade card, he could make the rulings for it as he pleased... even though he had agreed to follow the updated rules in the first chapter's author's note and wording the card as such and making its rulings like that would violate the rules he promised to follow. What makes this a dethroning moment is the sheer attitude he displayed over refusing to correct such a simple and tiny mistake, especially when correcting it in the first place wouldn't have changed how the chapter flowed in the slightest other than it now conforming to the rules. The fact that he's made alterations before and after the chapter to conform to the rules only makes it worse in that some previous alterations involved some of his other fanmade cards. The fact that he clearly does not tolerate it being mentioned must also say something else other than that he clearly hates certain rules and refuses to abide by them. You can call me a Rules Lawyer all you want, but when someone agrees to follow a set of rules and then disregards a minor issue with that kind of attitude all because they don't like the specific rule said issue was based around, they've made a dethroning moment for themselves.
• Brendan D Rizzo: I can honestly say that I stopped reading Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality at the point where Harry talks back to Snape during his Potions class. Yes, Snape was being an asshole, and yes, Harry had the right not to have to put up with it, but there were better ways of dealing with it than causing a temper tantrum and only serving to make the Sadist Teacher seem justified in hating your guts. That being said, the reason I stopped reading? I could not foresee any way that the author could have avoided having Harry get in big trouble for this, meaning that he would be forced to use an Ass Pull, thoroughly turning Harry into a Gary Stu, so I quit reading to spare myself this. In other words, it's not the event in itself that makes it the Dethroning Moment, but the way it was handled.
• Candycane 14: Julyala's fics aren't so bad when she makes her own original stories for crossovers. However her plagiarism fics a.k.a. copy and paste "fanmakes" fics keeps her from making her into a good writer. One "fanmake": which took the cake was "James's Phobia" which is mostly a copy and paste script from "Homer's Phobia." It had people Out of Character, and had Critical Research Failure on female homosexuality. Team Rocket and the "Koujo No Senshi" go to a collectibles store and met Haruka and Michiru who worked here.(Yeah, even though the inner senshi has Dic dub names, Serena, Lita, etc, Sailor Uranus and Neptune aren't called Amara and Michelle...) Anyway in 'Homer's Phobia', older audiences are able to figure out that John(the character both Amar-..Haruka and Michiru roles are) is a homosexual through his actions. This doesn't work when you're using female characters, Haruka wouldn't say things like, "My heart is palpatating! Hoo hoo!" or "Oh, you are the living end!" and Michiru is more refined then to say "Boy Howdy!" or use a toy gun and go "Zzzzzap!". Instead of coping the script it would've worked more if maybe James with Haruka and Michiru were listening to K.D.Lang music or meeting some ladies in golf. Later on James learns that Haruka and Michiru are a lesbian couple and freaks out, then fearing that Hotaru(they formed a brother/sister relationship) would become a lesbian through their influence and was starting to wear boy clothes. James tried a few things to make her "straight" like taking her to a steel mill. How would that make Hotaru "girly and straight"...unless James was trying to show her hot muscled guys or something???...In 'Homer's Phobia', Homer took his son Bart, deer hunting to 'man him up and make him straight'. Hotaru's a girl so why would James need to take her deer hunting to make her 'straight'?? Wouldn't that make her more into "the lesbian stereotype"?? If he wanted to make Hotaru straight, wouldn't he make her wear more frilly girly dresses and try to make her more "boy-crazy"?? But then that would be(gasps)original and creative!! And in "fanmakes", we can't have that! Haruka, Michiru and other senshi saved James, Hotaru and the others, and James stopped being a homophobe...if he even knew what he was trying to prove. Julayla, just stop doing these plagiarism fics! Make your own stories, your own plots for these crossovers! James and Hotaru having a big brother/little sister relationship is a good and sweet idea but you got to make up your very own story about it, not copy and paste some script from another show! As Mr. Enter said in his words: Nothing is sadder than wasted potential.
• Awesomekid 42: Total Drama All-Stars Rewrite is overall a great rewrite of a disappointing season, that fixes numerous of the problems of canon All Stars, along with giving more depth to several characters and their relationships with each other. It's not perfect, but I would be more than happy if this was the actual season instead...with one big exception. How the story interprets Cody. Apparently both of the authors hate Cody, and that hatred really shows in the Aftermaths. First one wasn't bad, Cody lying that he's fine with Duncan dating Gwen after Trent says it, he gets Jo splattered with ketchup-filled baloons, and Jo beats him up for it. Fair enough, and a genuinely funny moment. His second appearance rubbed me the wrong way by essentially retconning one of his best moments in canon, and it being revealed Cody was never fine with Trent dating Gwen and saying that was just a ploy to get closer to Gwen. But it was at it's worst with the 4 part Aftermath special, My Big Fat Total Drama All-Stars Wedding. There, it's revealed that the bra Cody got from Gwen in "Up the Creek" was actually stolen by Cody, not given to him by Gwen. Not only does this completely derail Cody's character, it doesn't even make sense. It's been over 2 years between Island and All-Stars (within the world of the fanfic anyway) and Gwen never found out? She never watched the episodes of Island, or never saw any fans talk about it? Or simply notice that she was missing a bra the same day Cody asked for it? Look, I'm no Cody fan, and totally understand making characters you dislike suffer in your story. But to not only retcon actual redeeming qualities of his, but do it in a way that doesn't make sense is sacrificing the quality of a story just out of spite. Especially notable when the story goes out of it's way to fix or at least help explain the moments from the show that didn't make sense.
  • Storygirl 000: While the writers' treatment of Cody didn't really bother me, how they initially treated Courtney is another matter. The absolute nadir of the story for me was their decision to adapt the infamous "Sundae Muddy Sundae" nigh-unchanged — the fact that they were willing to try and treat a lot of the other characters better but kept in Courtney's overly harsh Humiliation Conga just rubbed me the wrong way. While they did thankfully give Courtney a proper chance to make up with Gwen in the finale, it's still very much the low point of the story.
• Snowsky: A Codette World Tour was a great fanfic until the author suddenly decided that in order to destroy any chance of Cody hooking up with Gwen instead of Bridgette, he needed to make Gwen so completely and totally irredeemable that Cody would never love her again. How does this happen? She has sex with Duncan, screams at Cody that she does not and will never like him, declares that "she's not going to be belittled because of [her] feelings for Duncan", and voluntarily jumps off the plane, abandoning her friends and leaving a heartbroken Cody to declare that he now hates her. Look, I know the situation wasn't much better in the World Tour canon, but this is taking it way too far. The author took one of the most polarizing arcs from canon and made it several dozen times worse, completely wrecking Gwen's personality so he could justify Cody and Bridgette hooking up. There was no reason it had to be this bad. He could have easily found a way to eliminate Gwen from the game, and subsequently the love triangle equation, without derailing her character in the most cringe-inducing way he could come up with. Instead, he turned her into a total bitch just to make sure she wasn't a threat to his preferred ship. Real nice.
• Princess Togezo: I have incredibly mixed feelings about the Digimon Adventure 02 fanfic "Challenge of Fatherhood", even though I am a Patamon/Gatomon fan. When the fic is good, it's good, but there are some chapters that just utterly fail in my mind. Since I can only pick one moment, I'll go with the first of these moments: the end of the chapter "Patty the Nurse". In this chapter, Patty (Patamon and Gatomon's daughter) goes to visit her boyfriend Neko the BlackGatomon in the hospital after he was injured. Most of the chapter is okay, but the end totally torpedoes it into DMOS territory. Patty and Neko are kissing each other, and Patamon happens to catch them in the act. Now, in canon, Patamon is definitely a Nice Guy, who has talked about how important it is to forgive and forget, and he cares very much for his loved ones. But in this fic, when Patamon sees Patty and Neko kissing, he yells at Neko for kissing his daughter, and actually hits him! Sure, you can chalk it up to Patamon being jealous of Neko, since Patamon had to raise Patty on his own for a while after Gatomon temporarily died, but what excuse does that give him to hit a hospitalized child? Especially considering that by now, Gatomon has come back. As if we needed another kick in the teeth, he scolds Patty as well, and he actually grounds her. All because Patty and Neko were kissing each other. After this chapter, I found it hard to believe that the Patamon from the canon show and the Patamon in this fic are supposed to be the same guy.
• BarthVader: AU!Reverse, an Ed, Edd n Eddy fanfiction. Context: It's a Kevedd (Kevin/Edd) fanfiction. Red flag. It's an Alternate Universe. Two red flags. The moment proper: The very first page has Edd as a leader of some sort of bully clique (with Jimmy and Jonny as his lackeys) bullying slash sexually harassing defenseless Kevin. Let's just disregard the unfortunate implications, (as I've said, it's referred to as Kevedd, those two will be a couple) and cliche manly-guy-non-manly guy pairing, this is throwing literally everything (and I mean literally "literally") canon out of the window.
• Br3ndan 5: I've just read the 27th chapter (the latest as of me writing this) of Percy Jackson, Angel of Chaos by Blackjackxxx, and I can say that I am disgusted by this atrocity of a chapter. I was okay with the story so far, but this chapter is just despicable. For those of you who don't know, the story is a Percy x Artemis fic where Percy gets resurrected by Chaos and becomes his 2nd in command, but back to my personal DMOS: After it's revealed that Annabeth killed Percy, Poseidon tries to kill her, but Artemis stops him, saying that 'losing one's mind is the worst punishment for a child of Athena', so Poseidon stops.However, Annabeth has reached the Despair Event Horizon, and begs Poseidon to kill her. The DMOS comes when everyone starts treating Annabeth with so much hate that you'd think the author has a vendetta against her. Then, Thalia tells her that she (Annabeth) doesn't deserve to be her sister. That is just so OOC for Thalia that I stopped reading right there and unfollowed the story.
• Candycane 14: What did Handy ever do to deserve the Slash Fic I Love you Handy?! Even as a slash fan I hate this fic... Long story short, Handy suffers the worst form of Ukefication in the fic as he gets into a relationship with Hefty (who, by the way, are revealed to be brothers by Papa Smurf). Furthermore, there are a lot of Unfortunate Implications — if you're best friends with someone, it means you wanna have constant sodomy with them, Rape Equals Love, girl's first choices are hot muscled guys, and more I'll get to below. Now, toward the end of the fic, Hefty gets gravely injured when trying to save Handy from Gargamel and dies. What does Handy do? He blames Greedy for not coming to help sooner and attacks him. Uh, no, prick! It's your own fault for not listening to Papa's advice to stay out of the woods, getting lost into the forest without preparing anything for support, and getting captured! Over the next few chapters Handy doesn't do anything but cry. And then the fic pulls an Ass Pull of epic proportions: Hefty is brought back to life because of all Handy's crying. ... And what's worse, this in a fic co-written by two authors who get lots of praise for it.
• The Snow Squirrel: I know this one's under Fan Fic Recs but I honestly can't see why. It's a Powerpuff Girls story called Seven Days in Hell and ships a 17 year old Bubbles/Him.
  I'll make it as simple as I can: Buttercup bets her soul during a poker game with Him and loses. Bubbles begs Him to take her instead, leading to a deal that if Bubbles stays with Him as a pet for a week, the bet is off and Buttercup's free. Okay? Okay. Later on, Him forces Bubbles to get in the tub for a bath with him, and she of course hesitates. This pisses off Him, who forces Bubbles to give him a hand job as a punishment. Bubbles is of course upset but Him angrily insists that he is not asking her to give him her virginity, so she should essentially shut up and do what he says. Uh- okay, if you force someone to give you sexual pleasure against their will, that. Is. Rape. Intercourse or not. Later Bubbles has started to fall for Him, and her time is almost up and she can go back home in a few days. Now, does Him reveal that the whole "Take Me Instead and use me like a Pet" is a big supernatural contract that was out of Him's control to change the rules of, and they both had to get through it on those terms whether either of them agreed to them or not? Nope. Him reveals that this was all just a clever little scheme he put together to trick innocent little Bubbles into falling for/trusting him. So is Bubbles pissed out of her mind since all the humiliation and molestation she went through was just a trick and proceeds to kick his demonic ass? Oh no, she's just a little insulted. Look, Bubbles might be the most kindhearted and understanding of the Girls, but she is certainly is not this kind of a pushover! The thing that gets me is that these plot elements make the moral come off as: "If someone forces you to be a glorified Sex Slave that = True Love!!" and "Rape is only if someone forces intercourse on you, not any other type of touching or sexual contact against your will." The fic is supposed to be darkly romantic, but this comes across as deeply disturbing.
• Rebu: Cat Tales, "Pussywhipped". It was mildly amusing when Chris Dee took a shot at Frank Miller earlier in the fic. Okay, you don't like the idea of Catwoman as a prostitute, neither does DC. Less so when she devotes an entire story just to humiliating and destroying the reputation of both the in-universe version of Miller - cleverly disguised by calling him "F. Miller"-and a few other writers, as well as people who like said writers. It comes off as rather petty and self indulgent (especially when one of the complaints is basically the writer going "I don't like that ship, even if it is canonical"), and culminates in Batman personally delivering an Author Tract to Miller, after the aforementioned public humiliation, and telling him to get out of town. Not a single person, in the Rogues, the Bat-Family, or the wider superhero community, so much as says "this might be going a bit far", and we learn about Miller almost entirely from Selina's perspective, including a monologue about how the portrayals of Cleopatra as a promiscuous woman were the result of historians afraid of her sexuality.
• Dr Y 9 K: The Five Nights at Freddy's 2 fanfic A Couple of Misfits would be decent if it didn't decide to keep Foxy as an Undead Child as he is in the game, and portray Mangle as a non-possessed robot. The author decides Foxy being a murder victim isn't important and what is important is that he and Mangle become close friends/lovers, essentially making the story a case of "dead child X soulless, deteriorating robot," and yet the author thinks this is cute?!?
• InTheGallbladder: I loved Overmyth. Watching ReadingForever's OC Patta grow over the course of the story was not just riveting, but it taught me a few things about myself as well. Plus, I just plain like True Pacifist-end Fix Fics. Which is why it's all the more vexing that the story ends on the limpest excuse for a Sequel Hook ever: Early in the last chapter, a new OC, with no foreshadowing, comes quite literally out of nowhere (as in, that's where the final scene is set). She claims to be "from a higher plane of existence" than all prior established characters, canon and otherwise. She also proudly takes credit the game's canon, which she caused by pushing Frisk across the Despair Event Horizon for a lark. She's outright contemptuous of Patta, and this shows in everything she does. This includes whipping out a never-before-mentioned piece of Magitek; it bluntly (uncharacteristically so, according to exposition) states that the one thing Patta's still capable of is, and never wasn't, completely hopeless. This is somehow supposed to make me want to look at Aeon, the author's Undertale/Persona crossover. Or anything else they've ever written, for that matter.
• Esq 263: A major DMOS for the Bridge to Terabithia fanfic A Life Rescued is where Leslie gets illegal contraceptive implants while traveling in Europe, which alter her mind, causing her to treat Jess horribly and break up with him. After the poisoning is revealed, Leslie is Easily Forgiven, and her relationship with Jess resumes as if nothing had happened. There are quite a few problems with this scenario. First, shortly before their trip, Leslie's mom had offered to provide contraceptives, obviating the need for her to sneak off to some back alley dealer. Second, the breakup is extremely traumatic to Jess, driving him to the point where he actually considers suicide. Once the truth is discovered, and Leslie comes home from the hospital, there is no fallout beyond a lecture from her parents. Especially given the author's liberal use of Surprisingly Realistic Outcome throughout the fic, with people behaving in a realistic manner, this situation simply doesn't ring true. Having been hurt to the point where suicide starts looking like a good idea, and having started to build a new life without Leslie by the time the truth is discovered, Jess should not be eager to immediately resume his relationship with Leslie. This troper has seen relationships between adults, let alone teenagers, irrevocably destroyed over less, and Jess would realistically have to deal with not only resentment at Leslie's treatment of him, but fear of being hurt like that again. These feelings have had weeks to build up, and suddenly learning that illegal contraceptives were the problem is not going to magically make them go away. Another factor is Jess' parents. In most of the fic, the couple's respective parents are realistically portrayed not as the supporting cast in an epic child (and eventual teen) love story, but as, among other things, the people primarily responsible with their respective children's safety, who act as real-life concerned parents would. In real life, a teenager whose dating experience drives him to the point where suicide resembles anything like a good idea is either the victim of horrific intimate partner abuse or is unable to handle dating; in either case, this is definitely a situation where the teenager's parents need to put their foot down and stop the relationship from resuming. Instead, the only thing that happens is that, when the two get back together, Jess' father once reminds him of the effect the breakup had on him. Overall, the entire scenario seemed too contrived, designed to artificially add conflict to the story, and it was too extreme to realistically be resolved in any way that would preserve the relationship between Jess and Leslie.
• Clato Lawa: While I hesitate to lump this story or its author (who I have enjoyed other stories from in the past) in with the likes of Mykan, the Miraculous Ladybug fic Bring Me Home has quickly become one of my most unpleasant experiences since I started reading fanfiction. Truth be told, I had problems with it right from the start, due to perhaps unfair comparisons with other Miraculous fics along similar lines (the heroes get separated in the aftermath of Hawkmoth's defeat without getting to reveal their identities, only to be reunited years later with wildly varying results), but I stuck with it in the hopes that the inevitable reveal and Marinette's reaction to Chat Noir's abandonment would be worth it. For the record, it was, and at this point I was honest-to-God excited about where this could be going - in particular, the possibility of Marinette making up for her own mistake in shutting out Alya and her parents for so long. Instead, we get Marinette, having walked out on Adrien, once again refusing to go to anyone else for help, before getting herself into an incredibly contrived car crash for Adrien to rescue her from, thus forcing her to let go of her anger and rushing the two into a reconciliation barely a third of the way through the story. But the moment that pushed the story from merely disappointing to irredeemable for me, was that when Tikki alerts Adrien to the accident, he repeatedly refuses to put his Miraculous back on, even after being told that he's going to need Cataclysm to get her out of the car, because he wants to avoid Plagg's anger. Yes, obviously he puts it on in time and goes on to rescue her, but the fact remains that his first instinct was to once again put the pain that he wants to avoid, above the pain that he knows someone else is going through, which is exactly what he had been doing to Ladybug the last five years and had just learned the consequences of last night. The fact that he needed Tikki to verbally beat this into him killed all the power this would have had as a redemption moment, and since neither Tikki or Adrien told Marinette that part after she woke up, it taints every theoretically romantic moment Marinette and Adrien have had since, or will ever have for the rest of the story.
• Vampireandthen: From the desk of Mykan the jackass, I have this to submit. In his fic To Be Cruel, Or Good what he does here is so outright wrong and sick and disgusting, he has, in my eyes, cemented himself as the worst fanfic writer ever. See, there are at least three, in this thing which dares disguise itself as Digimon. Dear Lord.... The whole, "Kari adopted a child to make TK think she was married and leave her alone" was pretty bad, however, Davis adopted a child as well, and while arguing with Kari, declares that adopting a child was the worst thing he ever did, followed by him blaming Kari for all the misery in their lives as she comforts his crying son, and then...after he tries to blow up the factory with them in it, he, Kari, and the two adopted kids, he still ends up with Kari. He is not punished for being a terrorist. He is rewarded for it. Deactivating the bomb means jackshit! He should not get off scot free for this! But he does anyway. Mykan is the worst fafic writer, ever, period, end of discussion, everyone else can clear off.
• SenorCornholio: At long last... the crowned turd atop Dakari-King Mykan's steaming pile. Gentlemen, I introduce you to Friendship is Failure, a series that tries (and fails) to teach that friendship can't always solve everything. Nothing special, right? Then comes the tenth story, which is essentially The End of Ends but with the MLP cast thrown right in for no good reason other than torment. Sounds like he's treading old ground, right? Nothing to get up in arms over? Well... the red flag this time is that one of the tags is listed as "gore". Then another red flag shows up when you realize that Cadance is going to be a main character. The moment in question? Count Logan decapitates Flurry Heart. I wish I could say I was joking. But he did. He finally did something even more despicable than sending planets to their deaths just because others had nice lives; He actively beheaded a child for all to see. And the reason this was included? Because Mykan wasn't "satisfied" with just having Flurry Heart die with the others in the destruction of Equestria (though believe me, that'd only be a slight improvement); he admitted several times over that he wanted to specifically torture Cadance and get a rise out of his haters. It was so bad that even people that tried to defend him and be nice to him ended up leaving him. A user on FiMFiction that defended Mykan (which, by the way, Mykan told him about the event) soon took the defending blog down after the story was put up. At this point, there is no camel anymore; it's not just without a spine, or fed to Cerberus. It's been Hakai'd out of existence. There's getting back at haters, and then there's crossing a fine line between internet notoriety and absolute malice.
• Decaf Grub 47393: At first I thought that the 16-bit remake of Super Mario Frustration might be a massive improvement over Blackout's other work. Slowly, I was being proven wrong. First, he didn't take advantage of Super Mario All-Stars assets. I slugged on, altering the hack during the first level. I continued playing, hoping it would get better. The moment that made me consider this worse than Hammer Brother came in World 2's equivalent of where Donut Secret 1 would be in Vanilla. Let's just say having to alter the same level twice on different Level IDs was really maddening. At least Hammer Brother is clearable with only one alteration. A quick look into Lunar Magic reveals that the coins stay coins when you use a P-Switch. I then quit this fangame.
• CJ Croen 1393: While looking for some Steven Universe Dark Fics, I found a story called Goodbye, a three chapter tale which pulls the classic twist of portraying Pearl's Undying Loyalty to Rose in a much darker light, which is a common Dark Fic subject, but an interesting one in my opinion. Basically, after The Cluster is neutralized, Pearl, in a misguided attempt to protect Steven, shatters Peridot and disposes of one of her gem shards to make absolutely sure she never comes back. It's sad to see Peridot die, of course, but I was interested to see where it was going. In chapter two, Pearl has a My God, What Have I Done? moment over the whole thing and tries to commit suicide by shattering her own gem. The final chapter reveals that Pearl only cracked her gem and Steven healed her. And then Steven proceeds to...reveal that he forgives Pearl for everything, isn't even upset that she straight up murdered Peridot and is "just glad she's alright". Uh...what? No, author, that's not how it works. Even an All-Loving Hero like Steven would at least be sad that someone he cared about killed his new friend and it's extremely doubtful that Steven would forgive Pearl so quickly, if at all, for committing such an act. I mean with the potential Diamond redemption in "Heart of the Crystal Gems" at least the episode following implies that Steven doesn't completely trust the Diamonds just yet and is willing to force them to make up for their actions personally. I know Steven's a kindhearted person who believes there's good in everyone and is always optimistic, but I highly doubt that he would be so quick to "forgive and forget" after discovering that someone close to him committed actual murder.
• N Troper: For an example of how a single moment can utterly sour a read for you, look no further than Arthain's Hyperdimension Neptunia fic Extradimension Neptunia : Malicious Code for Anonydeath's revolting participation in it. For context, at one point, Anonydeath takes hold of a critically-injured Uni after the latter is attacked by CFW Brave under Spybore's orders to use her as leverage get Noire to meet him in his hideout alone for Uni's location. Once Noire is there, Anonydeath forces a Sadistic Choice upon her. That being to, after blackmailing her ino calling him affectionate nicknames for his own pleasure, sign a binding contract in which Noire has to stay with him until dawn of the next day and obey his every request, otherwise he pushes a button that sends Uni's location to Spybore, who will kill Uni, and every minute Noire hesitates, Uni is close to dying from her own injuries. After signing the contract and being allowed one call to inform Kei Jinguuji of Uni's location so she can get treatment, Noire is forced to, among other things only vaguely hinted at as we are only shown the beginning and the end of her time with Anonydeath, cosplay for Anonydeath in a myriad of laviscious outfits, of which a catgirl outfit with no bottom and a tail buttplug is made mention, while he's free to take pictures and footages of everything he makes Noire do and wear with impunity because of the contract. To see Noire go through that kind of violation was disgusting in itself, particularly seeing the effects it had on her in the aftermath, but I kept reading it in hopes Noire would be able to get the last laugh. Then comes the final training montage before the final battle, where the "Hero" of this fic, the eponymous Code, arranges trainers for the heroines...and he arranges Anonydeath as Noire and Uni's trainer, at which point Code reveals he made copies of her "time" with him. As Noire reacts with perfectly justifiable horror at the prospect of being exposed in such a manner, Code reveals that he powered up Anonydeath such that Noire fighting back would be difficult, and reveals that the training method is that for every time Noire and Uni fail to defeat enemies arranged for them, Anonydeath has free reign to dress both of them up in worse outfits than what Noire had to wear the first time, until they reach the required level to face Spybore...for 2 whole months. One would expect that, per Code's training method of giving the trainee a "carrot on a stick" as an incentive to push them beyond their limits, once Noire and Uni reached that, Anonydeath would have to delete all pictures and videos, like Code himself did with Nepgear earlier in the story. True enough...pictures and videos taken were deleted: Uni's. Anonydeath escapes with all the imagery he got of Noire while the latter could do nothing about it...and that's it. Anonydeath is a full-blown Karma Houdini that faces no comeuppance for his invasion of Noire's privacy, his blackmail of her, his hacking of Port Hole that endangered an entire civilization, effectively threatening to have Uni killed if Noire didn't comply to his demands and forcing both of them to wear and pose for him in perverted outfits while blackmailing Noire into not resisting him once she got on a high enough level to fight him with the threat of leaking every picture and video he took of her to the public at the aforementioned training. Neptune sees Noire, her best friend, freaking out and later be blackmailed in front of her very eyes and instead of showing concern for her friend or outrage over the blackmail like Neptune would actually do...all she does is compliment Code about being better than her at breaking people, and later teases Noire about it in a mean-spirited way that you'd imagine this was her polarizing Hyperdimension Neptunia Victory incarnation...all while Code is perfectly fine with enabling Anonydeath to have his way with both of them and letting him get away with his crime and even having Noire started at level higher than she can handle just to be a dick. Not only that, but it reduced Noire's Heroic Sacrifice to a cheap "joke". A disgusting moment on par with the infamous Panda scene from The Simpsons that completely soured my experience reading this and made it unable to take Code's character seriously or even find him likeable or sympathetic, Heroic Sacrifice and Reset Button ending notwithstanding. It was nothing short of Canon Defilement that was absolutely insulting and infuriating to read through, and it ruined what would otherwise have been an amazing fanfic. Protip: If you're going to make a character go through that level of unnecessary suffering, at least let said character get justice in the end!
• Big Jimbo: The Blinky Bill fanfic Scars Are Forever is a flawed story that feels like it's trying too hard to be dramatic and coming across as too bleak to care about the events, and also suffers from a few moments of Protagonist-Centered Morality. However, the moment where Nutsy rips apart that villain's corpse and outright says she planned on killing him left a particularly bad taste in my mouth, because of how it affects the plot. While the villain absolutely deserved it for wanting to essentially commit dingo genocide and inflicting Cold-Blooded Torture on Shifty ^note though I think the fact that he wanted it because one one dingo girl dumped him doesn't make sense, the story seems to imply that the only reason is his brutal assault on Shifty, the story outright mentions that what she did was illegal, and Shifty going into a Heroic BSoD afterwards is motivated by the fact that she put herself in danger by going to confront him and getting kidnapped ^note not helping matters is that we see her adopted mother's reaction to her kidnapping, yet the story otherwise ignores it and puts all of the focus on Shifty's reaction rather than the crime she at least planned to commit, and when Nutsy is on trial for what she did, a writing Shifty gives her about his feelings is all it takes for her to not get any consequences for her actions. This moment would have worked much better if Nutsy apologizing and telling her side of the story was what allowed her to stay out of imprisonment, but the way that the author made their favorite couple stay together is a bad cop-out that harmed my enjoyment of the story at the end.
• RobHas: Many Yu-Gi-Oh! fanfictions are guilty of Die for Our Ship, Ron the Death Eater and Draco in Leather Pants. Well, Memoirs of the Kaibas takes these tropes up to eleven by using Post Humous Character Noah Kaiba as the main character who for some reason managed to stay alive after accident. The story can still be tolerated for the first three chapters, but it straight becomes bashing fic when the disasters start at Chapter 4. Without any warning. This fanfiction portrays Jounouchi as a somewhat Casanova Wannabe who tries to flirt with Rebecca, Yugi as a Jerkass who is in the way of Noah's love story with Rebecca and Anzu as a ditz who flirts with Seto and Noah in the first chapter she is in. If that is not enough, the author incorrectly describes Rebecca as having a pair of blue eyes, when they're actually green in the anime (Such trivial mistake, the author doesn't even care about the main heroine of their own fanfic!). Eventually, this story evolves from an Original Flavor fanfic into a Possession Sue fanfic as the whole plot revolves around whether Noah Kaiba (or the author possessing Noah) would "get it on" with Rebecca or not, that Noah is always liked by his peers and anyone who disagrees with him automatically becomes a "villain" or a "creep".
• Androzani 84: I was reading through a Miraculous Ladybug fanfiction (I forget the name) and around chapter 11, after 10 chapters that were pretty good and refreshing in the middle of a fandom that has degenerated into mostly Hate Fic territory, the author announces his intent to do a Hate Fic for Doctor Who. It completely destroyed my positive opinion of him and made me unsubscribe.
• Bismuth 83: I don't like Beastars for a lot of reasons, but none of its fanfiction irks me in exactly the same way We Are Only Animals does. The Wangst, über-schmaltzy "romantic" segments, Unfortunate Implications, and its colossal size are all terrible enough on their own, but what really pisses me off is when Louis and Legosi, upset that the former's dad is putting him into an arranged marriage, storm the HQ of the company his dad owns and murder basically everyone in there. Wow. Disproportionate Retribution much? Also, given that Louis's dad saved him from getting eaten when he was super-young, this just comes off as extra-dickish on their part. I don't support arranged marriage, but personally, if I saved a kid from getting eaten alive and was now their father figure, I'd be kinda overprotective too. And yes, I know, Love Makes You Stupid, but still!
• Izzy Uneasy: The Big Windup! atrocity named "Shit On". If you thought "Dipper goes to Taco Bell" was bad, you haven't seen nothing yet. It's basically Mihashi's teammates repeatedly torturing him by making him shit, vomit and piss repeatedly. What tosses it from simple Nausea Fuel into repulsive crap is the speech like "You deserve this", "You worth shit", and "You need to know what it's like to be shat on". And all of this ruckus happened just because Mihashi made them lose another game. Look, I know everyone has morbid thoughts, but even scat and vomit fans like Gengorou Tagame have decency to make their works something more than this kind of mean-spirited trash.
• Willy Four Eyes: Reading through A Brighter Dark was a frustrating experience for me because even looking past Corrin getting the Adaptational Jerkass / Adaptational Villainy treatment and the wholesale removal of elements crucial to the game's plot that cause more problems than they fix, I felt like the premise could have worked (a war between Hoshido and Nohr with no interference from Valla), but there's one moment I simply won't defend: Corrin setting a plague against the rebel village of Cheve and willingly murdering innocent men, women, and children just for the sake of advancing the war effort against Hoshido. That was the point where I almost quit reading as it made me completely lose interest in anything that happened to Corrin from that point onward.
  • legomaniac90: The fact that, inexplicably, Nohr has never seen the sun ever to the point that they don’t know what the color green is. That is something that the fic states. For a fic that’s supposedly “more realistic”, something so improbable like this being a thing really breaks one’s Willing Suspension of Disbelief.
• dsneybuf: The Curious Happenstance of Pedro Pascal and Din Djarin started off with an intriguing concept: A post-Mandalorian S1 Din Djarin and some of his show's obscure characters end up in the real world, and have to crash with Pedro Pascal, until they can find a way back to the Star Wars galaxy, and reunite Din with the Child. However, very late into the story, Din makes a decision that seems uncharacteristically selfish and short-sighted, despite the author's attempts to justify it. After the Child also ends up in the real world, Din decides that the two of them — and Omera and Winta — shouldn't return to the galaxy, desiring to abandon his "reunite the Child with his own kind" mission in favor of Earthly luxuries. Even if the thought of Din losing the Child to the Jedi feels heartbreaking, Earth doesn't seem like a practical place for Din to raise him. One reason concerns the issue of how the Child and Winta can handle never seeing their old homes or Winta's friends on Sorgan again, and how they can live normal lives in a world that would question the existence of a Yoda (never mind a Baby Yoda) and an Isla Farris look-alike. Secondly, since the Child can't use the Force on Earth, how can the slowly-aging alien fend for himself without Din or Omera? Even if their clan can safely hide from Imperials, the Child remains vulnerable to other types of kidnappers, and the clan can now contract diseases that don't exist in Star Wars. Finally, Din's mental vow not to let a Jedi "steal" the Child doesn't provide an effective Take That! to The Mandalorian Season 2, since the finale has Luke take the Child only after both he and Din give their permission, and Din promises to see his son again someday.
• Master N: Death Drop Game Show started with an intriguing concept that I am surprised no one else has tried- a crossover between Big Brother and Danganronpa. It did have some pacing issues where investigations are practically non-existent and trials either drag on too long or go by too quick, and not all of the characters were particularly interesting, but I could look past that. The ending, on the other hand, has two major issues that utterly soured my experience on the whole thing. The first major issue is that, after spending nearly the whole story building up Big Brother/Never and the Mastermind as the antagonists, the very last chapter abruptly introduces Never's father and makes him be the real villain all along. In a mystery series where one of the big draws is figuring out who the Hidden Villain is, just about the worst possible thing you can do is make it be some guy who the audience has never known even exists until that point. But how do the heroes defeat this new villain? They don't! The story ends with him winning, erasing everyone's memories, and turning them into his robot slaves while preparing to Take Over the World and do the same to all humanity, completely undoing any sense of accomplishment and making the story feel like a big waste of time. Danganronpa can certainly get very dark, but a big theme of the series is that hope will always triumph over despair, no matter what- even the controversial endings of 3 and V3 still kept this^note in the case of V3, while Shuichi rejected both hope and despair, it still ended with the hope of the students to live normal lives triumphin over the despair of more seasons of death games, and so having a fanseries where despair wins goes completely counter to the central message of the canon series. The last post does make it a "Ray of Hope" Ending, but like so many examples it was meant as a Sequel Hook to a sequel that never materialized, leaving this grim fate as the note to end on.
• SW1008: Admittedly, I wouldn't expect good quality from a fic I got from the Ron the Death Eater page, but that's no excuse for what's about to be described. Harry Potter and the Acts of Betrayal is just another Harmonian fic with a cliché Love Potion plot that I decided to read because it could be entertaining. A key part of the plot is the use of a sexual lust potion on Harry and Hermione which only works if the subject has "regular sexual intercourse", and it's just as rapey as it sounds given the context. Ron is allowed by his mother to rape Hermione, but Ginny isn't allowed to do the same to Harry because of Slut-Shaming so Tonks rapes him in his sleep instead. This was portrayed with an appropriate level of seriousness and initially appeared to avert the Double Standard Rape: Female on Male, with both Ron and Tonks being called out as rapists and Tonks being sacked as an auror and placed under criminal investigation. Then Harry, who like in many fics has been made head of some noble house or other which here gives him Marty Stu powers, intervenes in the investigation and decides to inflict the worst punishment she deserves on her...by forcing her to use her Embarrassing First Name for the rest of her life. He even gives her her job back! And nobody even thinks to question the decision to let the woman who raped him multiple times and was aware of and complicit in the rape of his Love Interest get her job in law enforcement back and become a Karma Houdini, since apparently having to call herself "Nyamphadora" is enough punishment for all that. And what's more, all the male rapists in the story, all of whom only hurt women, get killed or thrown in Azkaban, so it's obvious that the author falls into the rape double standard despite initial appearances. This is made even more obvious by the fact that Molly was one of the masterminds behind the plot but is implied to not be prosecuted, whereas her co-conspirator Dumbledore goes to prison for life. Basically, it's okay to rape people or have them raped in this fic, regardless of the victims gender, as long as you're a woman.
• metamaster54610: Keldeo the Critic is a series of reviews in the style of the Nostalgia Critic, with Keldeo from Pokemon acting as the reviewer. Harmless enough as a concept. But his review of the fic Kevin and Buizel opens up on the most utterly disgusting note possible with the author's absolutely shameless homophobia. Right off the bat, he declares that it's morally wrong to be gay. Characters are shown to be physically ill at the thought of it, shocked and disappointed with Keldeo for even reading stories that are even insinuated to feature a gay character, or even just outright call it disgusting and unacceptable to be gay. It is directly stated that the author thinks it's 'wrong and not natural' to be gay. No. What is unacceptable is the author's utterly atrocious mindset towards homosexuality. Reading this made me absolutely furious. How utterly shameless this individual is about his bigotry is infuriating. Why anyone would want to read the works of a man who openly declares he's against homosexuality I will never understand...
• insanefandomgirl: While the Just A Little Glorybringer For Ya series was generally pretty entertaining, in this Troper's opinion, it all started going downhill at the end of Listen And The Stars Shall Speak when it was revealed that both Winter and Qibli were Stardust's father, and Moon just handwaved it with 'it's possible'. It just felt like a cheap and stupid way to provide an out from the love triangle.
• Willy Four Eyes: On the topic of a different Fire Emblem fanfic...
  
  As much as I wanted to try to like The Savior King, the Master Tactician and the Queen of Liberation, I couldn't get into it due to the awful spelling and grammar, erratic characterization, confusing/dull fights, a dearth of romantic chemistry between the three main characters despite it primarily being a shipping fic, and general lack of understanding or care for its source material. However, I didn't fully turn against Savior King until Chapters 31 and 32 (the story's recreation of the Remire calamity), which brought a number of immersion-breaking flaws all at once - Dimitri going berserk and brutalizing the rampaging villagers and no one but Claude showing the slightest bit of concern for his mental health, Felix's brother Glenn somehow being alive despite Dimitri describing his death in graphic detail on multiple occasions (along with paragraphs being wasted on Dimitri's "conversations" with the deceased), Claude tossing himself at the Death Knight and predictably getting his ass kicked, and the introduction of Atra, an Original Character who is incredibly out of place for the setting and is used (for the chapter she's formally introduced to the rest of the crew) as a mouthpiece for the author to bash certain aspects of the game that she hates.
  • Raxis: From the same fanfic, we have the Petra rescue mini-arc, predominantly chapter 61.
    
    To lay some background, because the author simply takes it as axiomatic that Petra would not willingly side with Edelgard in spite of the fact that she always fervently does by default, Edelgard uses Petra as a hostage in western Adrestia to keep Brigid in the war effort on Adrestia’s side. This already raises many, many red flags because Edelgard is a woman who values a person’s freedom to choose their path and pointedly does not force people to fight for her, but the Edelgard of this fic is so severely out of character that she fits nearly every non-contradictory sub-trope of Adaptation Personality Change, missing out on only angst upgrade-downgrade and comic relief-seriousness.
    
    The heroes decide to notify Petra via a letter from Dorothea that they intended to rescue her. It’s established that Petra is being kept under such tight guard that she, “[can’t] write letters home without someone looking over her shoulder,” but it’s apparently no problem for Yuri’s goons to sneak a letter past not only the guards watching Petra, but also Petra herself, who would naturally be on guard and has had to survive assassination attempts from a young age. The heroes decide to have Dimitri stage an attack against the city where Petra is being held, during which Yuri will slip inside and extricate her. It’s not a bad plan overall, but you’d think the Adrestians, so worried about their hostage escaping, would have a plan to execute her if a rescue seems imminent.
    
    The battle begins with Constance spamming Bolting, which seems to be the only thing she ever does from the midpoint of the story onward, and then the heroes launch a direct attack on the front gates. After a bit of boring, disorganized battle in which the heroes just rampage around, killing Imperial soldiers without effort, Ingrid notifies Dimitri of the enemy commander’s location. He’s Count Hevring, of all people, and while he was The Ghost at the time the chapter was written and the author thus could be forgiven for not knowing his personality, the fact that he turns out to be a loud, incompetent, classist, stupid individual smacks of her eye-rolling and predictable predilection to portray anyone on Edelgard’s side as the scum of the earth.
    
    Dimitri corners the man, and it’s then that all hell breaks loose. Hevring insults Dimitri, sparking a mudslinging contest between the two so Dimitri might “make them respect [him] and [his] power.” This tedious pissing contest is born, by her own admission, out of the author’s outrage that Edelgard would call Dimitri a “King of Delusion” during a scene in which he swears to violently kill her for something she didn’t do. In the midst of this, Dimitri mentions how the Empire is creating Demonic Beasts, prompting a random young peasant girl to pop out of a window and serve as the author’s mouthpiece for the next few minutes. The most well-spoken peasant in fiction reveals that, “our lord was sending letters to every city in his dominion, asking for volunteers who might help him cure the Emperor of his wasting sickness. He offered a great sum of compensation and the tests were supposed to be as safe as possible; he said that they would only be exposed to mild magics to see if the human body would reject it.” Surprise surprise, this was how the Empire created Demonic Beasts. One would think that Edelgard would opt toward practical villainy and use prisoners as her test subjects, but the author wants to go whole hog with making her as vile as possible. And just to cross the line twice, Hevring also stiffed the peasants on the money promised!
    
    The peasant then reveals she’s not only well-spoken, but she’s also bizarrely well-informed of the Empire’s political skullduggery when she sceams at Hevring, “Tell me! You dethroned the Emperor once and tried to steal his daughter...why would you help him now?! What did you really need them for?!” Then, through a contrived set of circumstances, the girl nearly gets killed out of accidental friendly fire from the Imperial soldiers (because of course it was them), leading to Dimitri saving her. The Adrestian citizens then begin cheering Dimitri’s name, having taken him, the leader of an army invading their city, at his word. Oh, and it’s revealed after the fact that the heroes’ casualties from the battle were, “barely in the double digits”. The author had never been particularly even-handed when dealing with Edelgard or the Empire up to that point, but this was the moment in which the fanfic’s extreme bias reached hitherto undreamt of heights, becoming simply eye-rolling. The heroes are borderline god mode sues, Dimitri is a perfectly flawless paragon, and Edelgard and her ranking officers are both horrible and incompetent.
• Ariel Lightning: A Possibility has got to be, without question, the worst Central Park fanfic I've ever read. For starters, the tags implied that Abby would be sexually assaulting Owen or vice versa or something along those lines. That would’ve been bad enough since it would be very Out of Character for either of them and send them careening towards the Moral Event Horizon; except Owen doesn't show up in the fanfic at all nor does he so much as even get a mention. Instead, it's mostly a retread of the A-plot in "Paige's Next Chapter", except the photographer Lester Posey (well, he doesn't actually get a name in the fanfic, but I'm going to refer to him as such for simplicity's sake) really is as creepy as Paige had originally assumed.
  
  The coup de grâce is when the fanfic describes Abby getting molested by Lester in graphic detail (down to him groping her down there in several places). It seemed so unpleasant to read that I couldn't help but get Squicked out. If I'm going to be completely honest, it feels like it was written purely for shock value and to make Abby a Woobie. I know that the author thought up this fanfic late at night, but if you're going to write about something as serious as rape/sexual assault; please do so with care, especially to readers who might be rape survivors. Otherwise, don't even bother.
• Hqami: Queens of Mewni already contained many questionable scenes, but the lowest point, for me, is a particular scene in Luna's biography. Luna is going through mewberty, which is a magical version of puberty that makes her extremely boy-crazy. Glossaryck, the narrator of the story and trusted mentor of the Queens, thinks that Oliver and Luna, both about twelve years old, should move on with their relationship. So he tricks Oliver into going into Luna's mewberty room, and he ends up getting raped by her. Glossaryck shows no remorse for what happened, only remarking that the supper that day was "a fun dinner". He casually mentions this in a book that in-universe he wrote for future generations to read, as if he's giving them an example on what to do. And Oliver ends up marrying the girl who raped him. This is the point where I lost all hope for this series.
• RobHas: Delenda Est is arguably one of the best Peggy Sue Harry Potter fanfiction. However, it is not without fault. My complain about this fanfic is that one moment in which the protagonists use Tom Marvolo Riddle's horcrux diary to summon the apparition, then use Imperius curse on him and force him to drink the Drink of Despair. First, there is no implication in the series lore that Tom's diary apparition can be attacked as Harry in canon destroyed the diary horcrux by using a basilisk fang to stab the book, not the apparition; And second, even if the apparition can be attacked, Imperius curse can be resisted. The author seems to sacrifice lore accuracy for exaggerated edginess.

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