Characters: Acquisitions Incorporated
Character tropes regarding the main and recurring cast of Acquisitions Incorporated.
Dungeon MasterChris Perkins is the irreplaceable Dungeon Master of the table (except for the second half of season 1, when James Wyatt subbed in for him). Since he has never had an in-game avatar, most of the tropes here refer to the wacky personas he assumed for the live events and to his game-mastering style.
- Bald of Awesome: Chris shaves his head cleanly, which not only looks badass, but also lets him use a variety of different wigs for his on-stage personas.
- Beard of Evil: Chris dressed up as an evil cult leader for the season 8 conclusion, complete with very evil-looking mustache and goatee. They both came off as the game progressed, however.
- Game Master: Chris wrote and ran every AcqInc game since 2008.
- Good News, Bad News: Chris enjoys doing this to mess with the players, for instance:
- To Scott: "The good news is, the dart only does minor damage. The bad news is... it is poisoned. But the good news is, you're a dwarf, and dwarves are immune to poison."
- To Mike: "The good news is, the raven gets No Saving Throw. The bad news is, it has fire resistance. The good news is: you still kill it."
- Killer Game Master: Invoked but ultimately averted in season 7, when Chris dresses up as the God of Murder for the live game and announces his intention to wipe out Acquisitions Incorporated in this session.
- New Job as the Plot Demands: Kinda. While every party member dresses up pretty much consistently as their character during live events, Chris Perkins sports a different outfit every time (except the very first live event and the first half of season 9):
- For season 5, he dressed as the Mad Hatter from Alice's Adventures in Wonderland.
- In season 6, he was the Dungeon Master from the Dungeons & Dragons cartoon.
- In part 2 of season 7, he wore the makeup of Bhaal, the Forgotten Realms' god of murder.
- In season 8, he dressed up as a king, crown and all, for part 1 (even though the players were not costumed), and as the Cult of the Dragon high priest for part 2.
- In the season 9 finale, he dressed as "Portabello da Vinci", the myconid king and a regular fun guy.
Acquisitions Inc. founding membersTropes pertaining to the founding members and the group as a whole include:
- Mundane Fantastic: The main shtick of Acquisitions Incorporated is that there are essentially a Heroic Fantasy Player Party but with modern corporate structures and customs.
- Power Trio:
- Punch Clock Hero: As the name might imply, the group's primary motivation for going on adventures is acquiring wealth and the fact that they end up saving people from time to time is just treated as an added benefit.
- Required Party Member: No Acquisitions Inc. game is ever played without the three of them (even Chris was absent for half of season 1).
- Vitriolic Best Buds: The entire team, including the interns. Apparently no one told these guys that Trash Talk is generally meant to be directed at the opponents.Wil: [to Scott, post-acid] I hate you so much!
Ominifis Hereward "Omin" Dran
Played by Jerry Holkins.Omin is the fast-talking CEO of Acquisitions Incorporated and a half-elf cleric of Avandra and, later, of Tymora. From season 8 onwards, a Masked Lord of Waterdeep.
- Badass Preacher: Omin keeps stressing that he is a devout servant of Tymora, though we rarely see him doing any priest stuff. One could argue that Omin serves her in deed more than in word, since Tymora is a patron of adventurers.
- Bad Boss: Omin is a CEO. Early in season 7, Viari gets some honest talk with Jim and Binwin, who hesitantly reveal how Omin essentially browbeats them with legal terminology into working for him essentially for free. Also, this quote from Omin in the same season:"Guys, we've found a device that turns interns into gold!"
- Born Unlucky: Of the party, Jerry has by far the worst luck with dice, which makes Omin this in-universe. This makes the fact that his divine patron, Tymora, is a goddess of luck unintentionally hilarious.
- Brought Down to Normal: Upon arriving in the Forgotten Realms, Omin discovers that his patron goddess, Avandra, has no presence there, so he briefly loses all of his cleric powers. After a near-death experience, he has a religious conversion at the temple of Tymora and basically regains all of the abilities he had before.
- Canon Immigrant: According to Chris at PAX Prime 2015, Omin being a Masked Lord of Waterdeep has been officially interred into the Forgotten Realms canon and he will even appear in one of the upcoming tie-in novels.
- Catch Phrase: Has a habit of saying that some event "is the worst thing that could happen."
- Chekhov M.I.A.: In season 4, Omin relates a story of how his Cool Big Sis disappeared on a routine dungeon crawl. In season 8, she comes back—as a dragon cultist trying to kill him.
- Combat Medic: As befits a cleric, he is good both with his hammer (theoretically) and with his healing spells.
- Critical Miss: Jerry is infamous for this; the most infamous example of this is when he rolls a 1 twice in a row at the climax of the second season.
- The Face: Omin generally conducts the negotiations on the party's behalf.
- Family Theme Naming: Omin (pronounced like "omen") has a sister named Portentia (like "portent") and a sister named Auspicia (like "auspice").
- Geeky Turn-On: In season 9, Omin admits to reading convoluted contracts instead of "conventional pornography".
- Genre Savvy: Jerry, very much so in season 5."Put these books in your box, close the lid of the box, remove the key, swallow the key, get the fuck on this dragon, let's get out of here."
- Has Two Mommies: In season 9, Omin mentions that he and his sisters were raised by their mom and their "other mom".
- Healer Signs On Early: In fact, the healer was the first member of this particular party (in-story).
- The Leader: The party usually defers important plot decisions to Omin—although he is not above steamrolling their objections if need be (such as when he decides to storm the Dragonspear Castle despite all warnings). Viari puts it best:Viari: I feel like this is a management decision...
- Luke, I Am Your Father: One of the cultists fighting Acquisitions Inc. in season 8 is revealed to be Omin's long-lost older sister.
- My Sister Is Off-Limits!: Omin is definitely not thrilled to learn about Jim sleeping with Portentia.
- Never Live It Down: Jerry's terrible rolling, repeatedly brought up, and even invoked and immortalized in the "critical fail" song.
- Token Adult: Kinda. While all player characters in the game are adults (as the Content Warnings helpfully remind us), Omin frequently comes over as the only adult among the core trio in role-playing encounters. He comes off as more of an indulgent, slightly sociopathic minder than a responsible guardian, though.Omin: Shhh, daddy's working.
Binwin (sheepishly): Oh, sorry...
- Properly Paranoid: In the celebrity game, when The Party first meets the Darkmagic's house cat, it immediately becomes attached to Omin. In his genre savviness he checks it out first with his holy symbol so he can be certain it isn't "some crazy sorcerer cat". The rest of the party just dismisses it as Omin being overly cautious as usual, but as it turns out the cat is actually an evil spy for the Wartstaffs.
- The Unfavourite: In season 9, Omin admits that both of his moms have always liked his sister Auspicia better.
Played by Scott Kurtz.Binwin is a reckless Dwarven fighter from a disgraced clan.
- Acquired Fire Resistance: In later seasons, Scott often jokes that Binwin should have fire resistance 10 for all the times when Jim set him on fire with his magic, although Chris always rules that he doesn't.
- The Alcoholic: Binwin's father. In fact, it's a sign of trouble when he stops drinking. And Binwin himself for that matter. So much that he carries around a brewers kit in "Ark of the Mad Mage" and gets seriously depressed when the party has to leave a beer automaton behind.
- Alliterative Name: Invoked by Scott, who explicitly wanted an alliteration, as he explains in season 1.
- The Atoner: Parodied by Scott. Upon first reuniting with Wheaton-Aeofel, he delivers the long-overdue warning about the acid trap killed him. Aofel states that all is forgiven. Scott-Binwin replies "Maybe now I can forgive myself" to looks of amazement, bursts of laughter and a standing ovation from the other players and the audience. The look on Wheaton's face is priceless.
- The Berserker: By season 9, Binwin seems to have acquired the Rage power, which boosts his damage output.
- The Big Guy: As the party's token fighter, Binwin has the most HP and is most capable of delivering pain at close range.
- Blood Knight: Binwin often seems to charge into battle just for the heck of it.
- Butt Monkey: As the team tank and pointman, Binwin is constantly caught in traps, set on fire, and generally treated like shit. He can (usually) take it.
- Cain and Abel: In season 9, Binwin offhandedly mentions having killed all of his siblings to deal with potential rivalries like Omin has with his, although how serious that was is up in the air.
- Designated Point Man: Binwin's high health and good defenses (as well as the ability to do serious damage) make him the ideal candidate to lead the charge when the team doesn't know what they're facing. This usually includes major enemies, traps, and seemingly empty dungeon rooms.
- Dumb Muscle: Scott role-plays Binwin as such: he is not good at thinking things through but real good at charging things with a maul.
- I Call It "Vera": Binwin's greataxe is named Seamus.
- If I Had a Nickel: Binwin says this verbatim in season 8, regarding Jim's favored tactics:"...for every time this fucker threw a fireball at me!"
- Multi-Melee Master: Being a fighter, Binwin is proficient with a wide range of weapons: in seasons 5 and 7, he fights with a two-handed maul but switches to a greataxe named Seamus in season 6 and starts Dual Wielding one-handed axes from season 8 onward. He can also throw javelins.
- Submissive Badass: Binwin rarely does anything without checking up with Omin or Jim. As Scott sums it up in season 8:"You set the route—I'm just driving the plough."
- Super Gullible: Invoked in season 6 when Binwin tries to figure out whether Danielle is pulling a fast one on him and rolls for Sense Motive, and Aoefel bursts out into laughter because Binwin's Wisdom modifier is -1 and he would probably believe whatever Danielle said—even if she were just making handfarts.
- Temporary Love Interest: In season 7, he is mentioned to have a dwarven girlfriend in Waterdeep, who is never brought up again in season 8.
James Winifred "Jim" Darkmagic III
Played by Mike Krahulik.Jim is a narcissistic human wizard of the New Hampshire Darkmagics.
- Awesome Mc Coolname: During character creation, Mike was immediately called out by Scott, who demanded "Why don't you call yourself Chet Awesomelaser?" The group then also suggested "Jim Fellmagic," "Fell Darkjim," "Jim Felldark," "Fell Darkevil," and "Ominous Darkfell Magic-Bad."
- Big Screwed-Up Family: The Darkmagics, with some additional nuttiness from being a family of wizards.
- Bigger on the Inside: Jim Darkmagic's extra-dimensional bachelor pad.
- Catch Phrase: Has a habit of saying "Have a magical day!" or a variant of it.
- Deadpan Snarker: Mike plays Jim as one, e.g. in season 4:"Yeah, that's it. Run up and fight the devil. How can that end bad?"
- Death Is Cheap: Jim currently holds the record for most deaths among the party: he has been killed twice, by a succubus in season 7, and by the dragon cultists in season 8.
- Flying Broomstick: Jim loots one from a dragon cultist's corpse in season 8, and it comes in handy at least once later.
- Horrible Judge of Character: Jim blindly trust suspicious people which eventually leads to him getting killed by a Succubus.
- Idiot Ball: Mike/Jim has it firmly in grasp when he kisses a girl he just met, who turns out to be a succubus.
- I Will Show You X: In the season 4:Devil: You have never experienced fire this mighty.
Jim: I will show you... fire.
- Jerk Ass: Jim Darkmagic is selfish, narcissistic, and pretty cruel. He is still loved by the fans.
- Kill It with Fire: Jim's primary method of injuring enemies (and Binwin).
- Kissing Cousins: Jim and his cousin, the bushy/busty bombshell Olivia.
- Laugh Track: Parodied when Jim conjurs one up when there's no one around to appreciate his joke.
- Laughing At Your Own Jokes: He conjures up an illusory Laugh Track whenever his jokes fall flat.
- New Ability Addiction: After Jim acquires a Broom of Flying, he refuses to get off it for the rest of the season.
- Noodle Incident: All the horrible implications Jim makes about his childhood with the Darkmagic carriage Cronk, an ancient, skeletal dragon. Also that his cousin Olivia makes about her childhood with Jim.
- Shrouded in Myth: As the party fights the end boss of season 2, they try to intimidate him by revealing that his opponent is none other than Jim Darkmagic himself. He quickly dismisses them:"You are not Jim Darkmagic! Jim Darkmagic is seven feet tall with a shock of red hair and eyes that blaze like the sun!"
- Signature Move: A literal example with Jim's Magic Missile, which scorches out JIM when it hits.
- Small Name, Big Ego: While Jim Darkmagic is a great wizard, his ego is still way too big. He make it sound like he is the gods' gift to mankind, while in truth he is cowardly and fairly stupid.
- The Smart Guy: Statistically Speaking, Jim has the highest Intelligence score of the main cast—which hardly prevents him from firmly grabbing the Idiot Ball from time to time (see above).
- Statistically Speaking: In gameplay terms, Jim has the highest INT score of the party; in actuality, it often comes to situations like in the beginning of season 5, where Jim defers reading a riddle message to Omin, saying he is not good at puzzles—and Jerry immediately lampshades that Omin's INT is 10, but still solves it for him.
- Super Empowering: Invokes this in season 9 as part of a scheme to kill Jeff by pretending to give him a portion of his own magical powers and sending him to the frontlines—never mind that such empowering is only reserved for deities in D&D.
- Third-Person Person: Jim sometimes refers to himself in third person (though this gets less and less pronounced in later seasons).Scott: Is that Jim saying that, or—
Mike: Jim speaks about himself in the third person. He has a very high opinion of himself.
- This Is for Emphasis, Bitch! : From season 1:Berserker Lady: Magic missile me, will you!
Jim: That was Jim's Magic Missile, bitch!
- Too Dumb to Live: In episode 6, Jim Darkmagic dual-wields his wands as usual... while dangling from a rope. With no hands available to hold on to the rope, he falls into the giant acid pit he just got out of.
- Took a Level in Jerkass: In season 9. While Jim has always been kind of an asshole, coldly exploiting a subordinate's trust to have him killed in a particularly gruesome fashion is taking a whole new level of jerkass.
- Wands Akimbo: Jim utilizes dual wands for his fighting style. He even created a feat for it when it was missing in NEXT.
- What the Hell, Hero?: When Jim inherits his family's mansion he isn't really nice about it.Dolores Darkmagic: Jim, now that the house is yours I trust you won't mind me staying in my small corner.
Jim: Listen Grandma, I've been meaning to talk to you about that...
[Disapproval can be heard from the audience] Come on man!
Acquisitions Inc. internsTropes pertaining to all interns thus far:
- Guest Star Party Member: Aeofel has been with the party for five seasons; Viari, for three so far (with a break in season 8); while Môrgæn seems to have left after just one.
- The Intern: Though, unlike the usual portrayal of this trope, Acquisition Inc.'s interns tend to be the sanest people of the bunch, generally balancing out the others' crazy antics.
- Disposable Intern: Occasionally crops up, such as when Omin decides it's a good idea to turn interns into gold on accounts that they can always hire more in season 7 (part 1).
Aeofel "Al" Elhromane
Played by Wil Wheaton.Aeofel is an Eladrin avenger of Melora who seeks out Acquisitions Incorporated and joins as their new intern in seasons 2 to 6.
- Berserk Button: Don't call him "Al"."His name is AEOFEL!!!"
- Catch Phrase: Often says "My name. Is. AEOFEL!" when people call him "Al," and also would like to remind us all that "Elves are the Eladrin's hillbilly cousins." Out of character, Wil also declares his catchphrase to be "Does nineteen work for you?"
- List-of-Experiences Speech, followed by A Rare Sentence:"Dungeon Master, friends, assembled nerds. I'm forty years old. I have been playing Dungeons & Dragons since the Red Box set in 1981, 82, 83, somewhere around there in my life. It is safe to say that I have been playing Dungeons and Dragons for a minimum of 20 years, possibly longer, maybe closer to 30 years. I'm gonna say something I have never said. I have gone against the giants, I've been killed in the Tomb of Horrors, I have visited the Temple of Elemental Evil, and of course, there is not a single square in the Caves of Chaos that I have not crawled through. One time I talked to a wizard named Bargle, and I have never said the following words: I will climb up the asshole."
- My Name Is Inigo Montoya: Aeofel usually introduces himself to his enemy before he swears his Oath of Enmity. Which he does a lot.
- Never Live It Down: In-universe, Aeofel gets reminded of his trip to the acid pit in season 3 at every opportunity by everyone, including the DM and the audience at the live games.
- Newcomer Saves the Day: In the Final Battle of season 2, the villains are so busy taking down the core party members that Aeofel gets through relatively unscathed and ultimately goes mano-a-mano against the end boss, killing him in single combat and preventing another Total Party Kill.
- Noodle Incident: How and why Aeofel left the party. The Doylist reason was most likely that his iconic class (along with his race and even faith) wasn't implemented in the D&D5 system, which the show was transitioning to around the time he left.
- OOC Is Serious Business: When Aoefel falls into the giant acid trap in season 6 and botches the saving throw, Wil is so traumatized, he even forgets to snap at Chris for calling him "Al"—pretty much the first and only time someone gets away with it in the show.
- Rousing Speech: When Gygax the cat and his undead hamburger minotaurs have ambushed the party and things seem bad, Wil steps up.
- Signature Move: His Oath of Enmity, which he gradually perfected over the course of season 2 and which fans of the show can recite by now.
- Slave Brand: Aeofel gets one, courtesy of the Ambershards, after being raised from the dead by them in season 4. He is so not amused.
- Unnecessary Combat Roll: Aeofel begins to do a lot of very well described air flips from season 4 onwards for no apparent reason.
- Why Did It Have to Be Snakes?:
"Why did it have to be acid pits?! Couldn't it have been succubi?"
- In season 4, Aeofel, both in and out of character, has some post-traumatic stress to deal with from the last adventure.
- Even worse in season 6, when the floor gives away to reveal another acid pit, that most of the party falls into, including Aeofel. Wil is upset enough to approach the the DM, prop weapon drawn.
Played by Patrick Rothfuss.Viari is a charismatic rogue described as "both red-headed and red-blooded", who joins Acquisitions Inc. in the Forgotten Realms for the "Ark of the Mad Mage" adventure (season 7), the second half of season 8, and again in season 9.
- Affectionate Pickpocket: If you cuddle up to Viari, chances are good that you'll miss some of your belongings later. Reversed on him in season 9 finale, when another rogue manages to hug and pickpocket him.
- The Alcoholic: Viari being Put on a Bus between seasons 7 and 8 is explained by success going to his head and him "developing a crippling addiction to drinking songs"—so much that he couldn't even be present for the epilogue shoot in person.
- Back Stab: As the party's token rogue, Viari never passes up an opportunity for a sneak attack... even if it's with a falling chandelier.
- The Bus Came Back: Having apparently gotten over his drinking problem, Viari comes back with a Gunship Rescue to save the party trapped inside Dragonspear Castle mid-season 8.
- Catch Phrase: "What-ho!" When Pat Rothfuss comes back in season 8, this is literally the very first thing he says.
- Chandelier Swing/Falling Chandelier of Doom: Viari seems to have an unhealthy obsession with (falling) chandeliers.
- Distracted by the Sexy: Viari ends up getting (magically) charmed nearly every time the group is fighting female opponents. Not that he particularly minds...
- Dual Wielding: Viari's swashbuckling combat style involves wielding a rapier and a dagger in each hand.
- Expy: The second intro to season 9 lampshades that Viari is "basically Kvothe"—the protagonist of Pat's own Kingkiller Chronicle. He is also named after another character in the books, who wields a sword and a dagger and works "in acquisitions" (acquiring rare books for the University's library).
- The Face: Omin briefly delegates this role to Viari in the first half of season 7, on account of him having a huge charisma bonus, but it doesn't really stick and in season 9, Omin even tells him rather bluntly to stop trying to do that.
- Fiery Redhead: One of the brashest characters on the show is also a redhead.
- Gratuitous Japanese: In the slightly embellished recap of the season 7's Final Battle between Humongous Mecha!Halaster and the Tarrasque, Viari is for some reason given the appearance of a rose-biting Bishōnen and delivers his catchphrase in Japanese.
- Homoerotic Dream: Upon meeting Drizzt Do'Urden, Viari implies to have had one about him, prompting Omin to call Too Much Information.
- I Just Want to Have Friends: Apart from a chance to look dashing, Viari's only desired reward for joining Acquisitions Inc. seems to be that he gets to be friends with them—completely oblivious to the fact that, their Vitriolic Best Buds tendencies aside, they are a rather sociopathic bunch.
- The Knights Who Say Squee: Viari is a huge fan of Jim Darkmagic's show.
- Loveable Rogue: Viari is an archetypal law-despising, but good-natured daredevil.
- Man on Fire: After being on the receiving end of one of Jim's fireballs. Bonus points to Pat for actually playing it out, sending the whole table (and half the audience) into a fit of uncontrollable laughter.
- Orphan's Ordeal: After a near-death experience in season 7, Viari recounts the harsh times growing up as an orphan on the streets of Waterdeep.
- Raised by Wolves: In season 9, Viari explains that he was raised by chandeliers.
- Rank Up: Viari is promoted by Omin from intern to "Sub-employee" in season 9.
- Saved by the Awesome: Pat gets away with more rules lawyering than any other player simply because Chris seems to enjoy the sheer audacity with which he plays Viari.
- Stern Chase: At the start of season 7, Viari is on the run from the bad guys after stealing the map of Halaster's dungeon from them. He conveniently tiptoes his way around telling the party about it.
- Swashbuckler: Of all the party members so far, Viari is, by a wide margin, the most spectacular fighter—in fact, the Rule of Cool trumps tactical necessities in his combat decision-making every time.
- Tagalong Chronicler: Through the first half of season 7, Viari keeps saying that he is mostly on an adventure for the stories to tell later.
- Walking Spoiler: The fact that he even appears in season 8 is a massive spoiler.
- Wandering Minstrel: In addition to combat skills, he is also described as a bard (though he emphatically denies actually being one) and his secret powers manifest themselves when he sings.
Played by Morgan Webb.Môrgæn (pronounced like "Morgane") is an Elven ranger who joins the party as an intern for season 8.
- Archer Archetype: The first ranged weapon specialist in the party (Jim is a ranged caster), who is slightly sociopathic.
- Double Tap: Does it to make sure the red dragon Omin impaled with their Cool Airship stays "dead for reals". Binwin even suggests she holds her bow Gangsta Style when she does it.
- Establishing Character Moment: Môrgæn is introduced getting the party's attention by shooting Binwin in the head, then calmly telling them that had she really wanted him dead...
- Forest Ranger: Môrgæn's class.
- Ms. Fanservice: Consistently defied. In-game, Webb mostly role-plays Môrgæn as a tough, no-nonsense survivalist. Out-of-universe, the PAX East game was played without costumes, and even though everyone had to dress up for the PAX Prime game, Morgan spent most of it wrapped up head-to-heel in a cloak.
- Not Good with People: Mentions several times that she feels uncomfortable in the crowds and prefers to socialize as little as possible.
- Properly Paranoid: Particularly in the second half of season 8, Môrgæn's knack for playing things safe helps the party avoid some nasty surprise rounds.
- Sensor Character: One of Môrgæn's powers lets her detect what's hiding inside a storm front they are flying into: 22 dragons.
- The Smurfette Principle: So far, she is the only female Player Character in the franchise.
- The Sneaky Gal/Stealth Expert: Môrgæn's ranger ability Hunter's Veil let the party sneak into the dragon cult's fortress undetected.
- What Happened to the Mouse?: At the end of season 8, Môrgæn is with the rest of the party aboard the Battle Balloon, yet no mention of her whatsoever is made when it lands in Baldur's Gate in season 9, about an in-game hour later.