Funny: Acquisitions Incorporated

  • The entire "Rudy the Undead Hound" discussion from the second podcast.
  • Any time the players engage in the Vitriolic Best Buds act, but perhaps the best example comes up early in season 4, when recapping the previous season's finale.
    Mike: I feel like it was a clean job.
    Scott: Yea, we only lost the red shirt.
  • The second PAX game was outrageous.
    Wil: You guys, I saw a lot of necromancers when I was in Hell.
    Scott: When you were in 'Nam?
    Jerry: Not Nam, Hell!
    Wil: Nam was hell. "Necromancers are dicks, you guys. Necromancers are dicks." Aeofel just stares off, the wings beating beneath him, his silvery hair blowing out behind him, a thousand-square stare in his eyes. He feels nostalgia as a standard action. A single tear falls from his perfectly black, orbular eye, and turns into a diamond as the wind catches it and carries it away.
  • The Darkmagic family song:
    We are the Darkmagics
    Come see our bitchin' house!
    Our favourite young son
    His name is Jim.
    And he loves to
  • Omin isn't really known for his physical prowess, but...
    Chris: Did you just beat Binwin Bronzebottom in a test of strength?
    Jerry: And intellect.
    Chris: Who the fuck are you and what did you do with Jerry?
    • And he does it again next turn!
  • In the 2013 PAX game, when Mike and Scott reveal that they have no idea what The Tarrasque is.
    Chris: What are you doing at this table, man?!
  • Last Words: Is THIS your card...?
  • In the 2014 PAX game, Morgan Webb asking during a male NPC's description of a female NPC "Is she prettier than me?" in a slightly neurotic way. She had Mike, Jerry, and Scott all keeled over laughing. Probably something you never thought you'd hear during a D&D game.
  • All of Scott's horrible puns.
    "That last relationship was really dragon on."
  • During Season 3 Mike was having a bit too much fun with Coordinated Explosion, which lead to the following conversation during the climax were the group was in a bit of a tight spot.
    Mike:[About to cast Scorching Burst] How hurt are you?
    Jerry: Hurt. Do you want to include me just for 1+!
    Mike:Well, I'm just throwing it out there!
    Mike: I might also get a 2+ if I hit both of you...
    Jerry: No!
    Mike: Fine, fine I won't.
  • Near the end of Season 9's game at PAX East 2015, this glorious exchange takes place:
    Mike: Is this whole room a truth zone?
    Jerry: Yeah.
    Mike: I fucked your sister.
    • Cue Patrick Rothfuss promptly (and completely) losing it for a solid thirty seconds.