I Will Show You X

Skywarp: "Dumber than Skywarp?" I'll show you dumb, Starscream!
Starscream: You always do.

In response to something character A says, character B takes parts X and Y of its wording, and says something along the lines of "I'll [X] You Some [Y]!" or similar variations. It's not so much a Stock Phrase as a stock-structure of phrases. Sometimes for humour there may be a very good word for this structure, but a far less suitable word is used.

When said towards a villain, this may be part of a Shut Up, Hannibal! moment. However, neither using the phrase nor being the subject of the phrase is necessarily associated with moral alignments in either direction. Very often turns out to be a Lame Comeback.

Compare/Contrast with Verb This!, in using someone's own wording in a retort to them, but in this case it's specifically about what the character saying it will do, whereas Verb This! has no "I" in it and could just as easily be referring to some external circumstance. Compare No, You. Not to be confused with And Show It to You.

...what? You want some examples? I'll show you some examples!

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  • In the '90s, a series of commercials for La Choy Chinese foods parodied vintage Wuxia films, complete with intentionally bad dubbing and over-acting. In one commercial, this exchange occurs:
    Kung-Fu Warrior: Surrender! According to recent taste-tests, the great taste of La Choy was preferred more than two to one over Chun King!
    Thug(summoning three mooks): I'll show you "more than two to one"!

  • When the preteens of Ichigo Mashimaro pay a surprise visit to Nobue at the diner where she works. Miu tries ordering breakfast at a time of day the diner doesn't serve it, then writes a zero after the price of each menu item, them complains about the prices. She finally puts in a proper order, including a chocolate parfait. Nobue mutters that she'll "parfait" her...
  • In Yu-Gi-Oh!, Honda/Tristan has an open crush on Jonouchi/Joey's sister Shizuka/Serenity, which Jonouchi/Joey is none too pleased about. At one point in the English dub, Tristan talks about how he's going to visit Serenity (read:hit on her) in the hospital, to which Joey responds "I'll send you to the hospital!"
  • In The Nineties English dub of one episode of Sailor Moon, the title character tells one plant enemy, "You're going to the compost heap! I'm Sailor Moon! On behalf of the moon, I will punish you!" A little later, the plant enemy injures her and says back, "Now let's see who's 'going to the compost heap'!"
  • Dragon Ball Z movie "Super Android 13" has this moment when Chi-Chi failed to stop Gohan from helping Goku out in the battle against the Androids and Krillin convinced her about this. Then, she started smacking him.
    Krillin: You know what? He's right. I'm behind him 100%.
    Chi-Chi: Then what are you waiting for? Get your cowardly butt out there and help him! 100%? I'll give you 100%!
  • Naruto Shippuden episode 180 has it.
    Sasuke: Show some gratitude, loser.
    Naruto: I'll show you gratitude!
  • Full Metal Panic!: After Sousuke shot a melon while blindfolded, he exclaim "Bullseye!". However, he also spread melon juice and debris all over Kaname, prompting her to retaliate with a baseball bat:
    Kaname: I'll show you a bullseye!

    Comic Books 
  • The page image is from issue 74 of the Archie Sonic comics. After the freedom fighters find Robotnik on the walkway of an outer-space facility after previously thinking he was dead:
    Sonic: You're toast if you don't tell me what happened to my family and the other roboticized mobians, Ro"butt"nik!
    Robotnik: Come now, hedgehog. Can't you at least take a moment to welcome me back from the dead? Didn't your parents teach you better manners?
    Bunnie: Ah'll show you manners!
    Bunnie then punches Robotnik in the face
  • NNY's response to being called "Wacky" by a woman in a Taco Bell Smell:
    NNY: I'll show you wacky! I'll show you all wackeeeeee!
  • Similarly, one issue of Groo the Wanderer shows he dislikes being called "feckless."
    "Groo is not feckless! He has plenty of feck! I will show you feck like you have never seen!"
  • From a Moon Knight story during the Marvel Civil War event:
    Ray: Hey, you got a license to wear that cowl?
    Moon Knight: Yeah, I got it right here.

    Comic Strips 
  • U.S. Acres: Every morning, Roy wakes up the other animals by blowing his bugle at their faces. In retaliation, Orson once stuck some gum in the bugle, causing Roy to be stuck on the wall by the gum.
    Orson: Good morning, Roy.
    Roy: I'll good morning you.

    Fan Works 

    Films — Animated 
  • Aladdin:
    Aladdin: If I were as rich as you, I could afford some manners.
    The Prince: I'll teach you some manners!
    The prince then kicks Aladdin into the mud.
  • And in the Disney version of Beauty and the Beast, when Maurice intrudes into the castle.
    Maurice: I just needed a place to stay...
    Beast: I'll give you a place to stay!
    Beast then imprisons Maurice in the castle.
  • Robin Hood: Friar Tuck's "You want taxes?!? I'll! Give! You! TAXES!" to the Sheriff of Nottingham when he comes to extort money from the church.

    Films — Live-Action 
  • In The Dark Knight, during an argument between a witness on the stand and Harvey Dent:
    Dent: I have a sworn statement from you that [points to Maroni] this man is the head of the Falcone crime family.
    Witness: Maroni? He's a fall guy. I'm the brains of the organization!
    Dent (to judge): Your honour, permission to treat the witness as hostile?
    Judge: Permission granted.
    Witness: Hostile? I'll show you hostile!
    Witness pulls out a gun and tries to fire it. The gun was jammed.
  • Idiocracy:
    Joe: "Your Honor, I call for a mistrial."
    Joe's Lawyer: "I'm gonna mistrial my foot up your ass, (if) you don't shut up."
  • In Fantastic Four, Johnny and Ben discuss girls.
    Johnny: I've been wondering. How do you and Alicia...*clicks his tongue in lieu of finishing the sentence*
    Ben: That's none of your business!
    Johnny: Okay, okay! I'm just concerned, that's all. I don't want to wake up one morning and find out she was killed in a rockslide!
  • Serenity has a more delayed example. The Operative tells Mal that he's trying to help the Alliance create "a world without sin". Later, upon discovering a dark secret about the Alliance that the Operative didn't know about, Mal shows it to the Operative but first says "I'm gonna show you a world without sin."
  • In the film version of The Running Man, Amber, one of the protagonists and the main Love Interest, is cornered by Dynamo.
    Dynamo: Thought it was pretty funny out there in the zone? What's the matter now bitch, why aren't you laughing?
    Amber: Because there's nothing funny about a dickless moron with a battery up his ass.
    [Dynamo gets on top of Amber, preparatory for trying to rape her]
    Dynamo: I'll show you dickless.
    [Amber electrocutes him by shooting the ceiling sprinklers]
  • Done in X-Men:
    Magneto: What are you looking for, Charles?
    Xavier: I'm looking for hope.
    Magneto: I will give you hope. And I ask one thing in return: don't get in my way.
  • Barton Fink: the iconic "I'll show you the life of the mind!" chase down the burning hallway.
  • In the climax of Lock Up:
    Leone (to Drumgoole): You're gonna give me a guided tour through hell? I'll SHOW you hell!
    And later:
    Drumgoole: You're scum, Frank.
    Leone: Shut up! I'll show you scum.
  • The tag line in the print ad for the Pauly Shore vehicle Jury Duty: "Sequester This!"
  • A villainous example happens in The Wizard of Oz when poor Dorothy cries for her Auntie Em after being imprisoned in the Wicked Witch of the West's castle:
    "'Auntie Em, Auntie Em, come back!' I'LL give you Auntie Em, my pretty! (Evil Laugh)"
  • In the ending of The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug, Smaug vows for revenge:
    Smaug: Revenge?! Revenge?! I will show you, revenge!
  • A variation in My Cousin Vinny, when Vinny Gambini calls his angry fiance to the stand:
    Vinny: Your Honor, may I have permission to treat Ms. Vito as a hostile witness?
    Mona Lisa Vito: You think I'm hostile now, wait 'til you see me tonight.

  • From Ross Macdonald's novel The Far Side of the Dollar:
    Lew Archer: I was investigating—
    Cop: Investigating what?
    Lew Archer: Law enforcement in this county. It stinks.
    Cop: We'll law-enforcement you.
  • Al Franken reacts to Fox News' Coverage of President Bush's 2004 Inauguration speech in the first chapter of The Truth (with jokes), specifically the part where Bush claims to have won a mandate:
    But the responsible news media, instead of calling him out or grabbing their crotch and going "Mandate? I got your mandate here!", were going along with it.
  • In Big Trouble, when Eliot Arnold is getting fed up with his newspaper-writing job, his boss admonishes him that he needs to have his assignment (pointing to his computer) "in here before you go home tonight." Eliot then crosses around to his boss's side of the desk, saying, "How about I put it in there RIGHT NOW?" and puts his left foot through the computer screen.
  • Marco does this in Animorphs. A bit of an unusual example because he doesn't say it aloud, but only thinks it. To set the scene somewhat, he is seconds away from wreaking havoc on the Yeerk ship he's trapped on, in gorilla morph, and Visser Three has just ordered his minions to "stop that monkey".
    Marco: I'd show them monkey!

    Live-Action TV 
  • On The A-Team, B.A. would often respond in this way to whatever nonsense Murdock was spouting. Some of them barely made sense, but Murdock didn't always give him much to work with, and B.A. doesn't like to mince words.
  • Wizards of Waverly Place. There was an entire episode devoted to TJ Taylor, another wizard who responded to everything with this trope. And of course, it never made sense.
  • In Drake & Josh when Josh started losing patience with helping Drake cheat via Radio.
    Drake: Just pull up your antenna.
    Josh: I'll pull up your antenna!
  • Doctor Who:
    • From the episode "Army of Ghosts", after the Doctor convinces Torchwood that Jackie is Rose who went through Rapid Aging.
      The Doctor: Lead on. But not too fast. Her ankle's going.
      Jackie: I'll show you where my ankle's going!
    • Later, Donna gets in on it with "The Unicorn and the Wasp";
      Donna: "The plucky young woman who helps me out"?
      The Doctor: No policewomen in 1926.
      Donna: I'll pluck you in a minute!
  • When Castiel and Metatron corner a Nephilimnote  on Supernatural, intending to kill her, she uses "I'll show you an abomination" as an attempted Pre Ass Kicking One Liner.
  • In one episode of Blue Bloods Frank is engaged in a tussle with the mayor and city council over the NYPD's budget. This leads to the following line in response to some Weasel Words in a proposed press release by his Deputy Commissioner for Public Information:
    Frank: Hey, I got a good "shared sacrifice": How about we outsource 911 to Bangalore?
  • In the final season of Breaking Bad, Saul tells Walt that he could get the DEA off his back by sending Hank to Belize, "where Mike went," and Walt's response to that is complete refusal, followed by "I'll send YOU to Belize."
  • An episode of Mad TV parodied The Terminator by having a Schwarzenegger-like robot go back in time to first-century Palestine to save Jesus from being crucified, which annoys Jesus to no end. ("Forgive him, Father: he's a robot from the future.") The last straw comes when the robot bursts in on the Last Supper, coldly announces "Eat this," and shoots Judas Iscariot dead. This leads to a Running Gag of Jesus repeatedly bringing Judas back to life, only for the robot to kill him again and again.
  • A Whammy from Press Your Luck:
    Whammy: All I hear is "Big bucks, big bucks." I got your "big buck"! (brings in a deer on a leash)
  • Monty Python's Flying Circus: Jean-Paul Sartre's wife is chatting with Mrs Premise and Mrs Conclusion about his persistent preaching and distributing pamphlets about personal freedom to the masses:
    Mrs Sartre: I mean, look at this place. I'm at my wits end. Revolutionary leaflets everywhere. One of these days I'll revolutionary leaflets him!

  • Country Music singer Gretchen Wilson has an album and song titled I Got Your Country Right Here.
  • "Space" by Sarah Buxton: "You say you want space / Well, I'll give you space..."
  • "Womanizer," by Britney Spears: "You say I'm crazy / I've got your crazy."
  • "Hurt," by Nine Inch Nails (and later Johnny Cash), sort of: "I will let you down / I will make you hurt."

  • In The Adding Machine, when Charles succeeds at getting rid of Mr. Zero by sending him on a Snipe Hunt, Joe bursts out laughing at Mr. Zero's gullibility. Charles gives him a painful blow to the jaw.
    Joe: What's the idea? Can't I even laugh when I see something funny?
    Charles: Funny! You keep your mouth shut or I'll show you something funny.

    Theme Parks 
  • Disneyland's "Splash Mountain" ride, which is inspired by Song of the South, consists mostly of a log ride up a series of watery chutes accompanied by various animatronic animals singing "Ev'rybody Has a Laughing Place." Once you reach the top, however, the music shifts into a Dark Reprise ("Don't go down to the laughing place...where the Fox'll get ya!") and a voice rings out with "You want a 'laughing place'? We'll give you something to laugh about!" The ride then climaxes with a steep drop down a towering waterfall into a pool below, where the ride's "splash" occurs.

    Video Games 
  • When Kratos finally confronts Ares face to face in the first God of War, he tells Ares that the monster (Kratos himself) he created will now destroy him. Ares' response? "You do not know what a true monster is..." (grows a bunch of freaky spider legs on his back) "Your final lesson is at hand!"
  • Resident Evil 3: Nemesis has the Nemesis scream out "S.T.A.R.S.!" Guess what Jill says near the end when she finally finishes him off? "You want S.T.A.R.S.? I'll give you S.T.A.R.S.!"
  • In Starcraft, in one of the missions in the original Terran campaign:
    General Duke: You're about the last folks I expected to show up. What's your angle, Mengsk?
    Jim Raynor: Our angle?! I'll give you an angle, you slimy confederate piece of sh...
    Arcturus Mengsk: Enough, Jim!
  • Tales of Monkey Island: There are a few examples of this when Elaine is poxed and fighting De Singe near the end of Chapter 4: "I've got yer juicy strain right here, bucko!" "I'll give you some piddlin' firkins!" "I'll show you who's done for!" and "I'll spread you to the four corners!!"
  • The Lich King uses this at the Wrathgate in World of Warcraft: "You speak of justice? Of cowardice? I will show you the justice of the grave... And the true meaning of fear!"

    Web Animation 
  • Used in a few episodes of Strong Bad Email:
    • In "dragon":
    Strong Sad: I think I've improved on your methods a bit, too. I employed some chiaroscuro shading, and-
    Strong Bad: I'll improve on your methods!!
    (Strong Bad sets Strong Sad's drawing on fire and reduces it to ashes)
    Strong Sad: What?! That's not an improvement!
    • In "island":
    Homestar Runner: Hey, Strong Bad!
    Strong Bad: What?
    Homestar Runner: Are we rescued yet?
    Strong Bad: You're gonna need to be rescued in a second if you don't quit asking me that.

    Web Comics 

    Web Original 
  • Done in Dragon Ball Z Abridged.
    Guru: Nail! Gather the rest of the Dragon Balls and wish for a plasma TV.
    Nail: Sir, that would be a grievous misuse of their powers—
    Guru: I'm about to misuse my hand upside your head!
  • An occurrence can be found in the April Fools' Day 2011 episode of Awkward Talks With Girls, after a discussion about Monkey Island:
    Andre: That's so sexy, seeing a guy... play video games...
    Roger Barr: I'll threep your wood!
  • An instance in the Peasant's Quest live-action movie trailer:
    King: We have coexisted with the Burninator in these lands for centuries. I can't have you marching up there in your short pants upsetting the balance!
    Rather Dashing: I'll upset your balance, my lord!
    King: Rather Dashing, you will not sass back at this council!

    Western Animation 
  • A Running Gag in Animaniacs, or more precisely, the "Goodfeathers" series within it, is Pesto very often misinterpreting what Squit says about him. The result is I Will Show You X, preceeded by several other phrases among the lines "Are you sayin' that I'm <...>, is that what you're sayin'? What am I, <...> here to amuse you?"
    Squit: Yes. Pesto, you are one swell bird.
    Pesto: What do you mean by that?
    Squit: Why, I said you're swell, that's all.
    Pesto: You're sayin' I got a big head, is that what you're sayin'? What am I, a bloated puffy round head here to amuse you?
    Squit: Nah, I didn't say that, I just... I said you're swell.
    Pesto: I am swell?
    Squit: Yeah, you're swell.
    Pesto: Swell?
    Squit: Yeah.
    Pesto: That's it!
    * Big Ball of Violence*
    Here's your "swell"! I got your "swell"! Right here! I'll show you "swell"!
  • The sign at the entrance of the Brooklyn Aquarium in Futurama reads "We got your fish right here pal."
  • The Simpsons:
    Homer: Lisa! Knock off that racket!
    Lisa: But Dad, I'm supposed to practice an hour a day!
    Homer: I'll practice you!
    Lisa: You'll practice me...what does that mean? Is it supposed to be some sort of a threat?
    • And in another episode:
    Judi Dench: Who are you talking to?
    Londoner Squeaky-Voiced Teen: No-one, mum, I swear!
    Judi Dench: I'll Mum you! {starts beating Londoner Squeaky-Voiced Teen}
    • Another Simpsons example, when Homer's mom reappears, Bart asks for retroactive birthday, Christmas, Hannukah and Kwanzaa gifts. Homer responds with "I'll Kwanzaa you!"
    • This is a fairly popular one with The Simpsons. For example, when Homer was yet again passed up for the "Worker of the Week" award for...an inanimate carbon rod. "Inanimate huh? I'll show him inanimate!" He just stands there until nightfall.
    • "The earring could plug the hole." "I'll plug YOUR hole!"
    • Done again in, "Today, I am a Clown":
    Bart: Dad. You blew it. You listened to Lisa and then you lost your stranglehold on the audience.
    Homer: I'll audience you! (starts strangling him)
  • The Penguins of Madagascar, "I Was A Penguin Zombie":
    Vet: Don't worry. I know you don't like the big, scary needles, so we'll use a topical cream instead.
    Skipper: Oh, yeah? You try anything and I'll cream your topical!
  • In a Ren and Stimpy episode dealing with the Stimpy facing his own mortality and going throuh various emotional phases. To illustate "Anger", there's a short bit where Ren is at the dinner table, ready to eat.
    Stimpy: *cheerily* Here's your breakfast, Ren!
    Ren: Uh...Stimpy? You forgot the toast.
    Stimpy: TOOAST??! HEEEERE'S YOUR TOOOOAST!!!! *slams toast into Ren's face and rubs it violently*
  • Avatar: The Last Airbender:
    • From the finale: "I'll show you lightning!"
    • And during Aang's fight with Zhao:
      Aang: "Woah, wild shot!"
      Zhao: "I'll show you wild!"
    • As well as Zuko's fight with Jet:
      Zuko: You want a show? I'll give you a show!
    • Also, from one of the chibi shorts:
      Katara: Tiny Zuko! He looks so cute!
      Iroh: You are pretty cute, my tiny nephew.
      Zuko: I'LL SHOW YOU TINY!
  • In The Legend of Korra, Korra is fond of giving these whenever the referee during Pro-bending matches calls her on commiting a foul. ("I'll show you 'over the line!' ")
  • On The Mr. Men Show, a running gag has Mr. Rude say "I'll give you X," and then fart, causing all the characters to chastise him.
  • Raven against Johnny Rancid in the Teen Titans Season 2 ep "Fractured",
    "You want dark, I'll give you dark!"
  • In House of Mouse, when Goofy fails to enter a country club, the narrator berates him for forgetting his pants and saying he'll never get into a club, Goofy pulls out his club and says, "I'll show you a club!" before beating up the narrator.

I got yer stinger right here pal!

Alternative Title(s):

I Got Your X Right Here