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I've Got an X and I'm Not Afraid to Use It
Stock threat/warning that you, er... Exactly What It Says on the Tin. Contrast with He's Got a Weapon!.

Only actual quotes please. I've Got an Edit Button Too and I'm Not Afraid to Use It.


Examples

    open/close all folders 

    I've got Comic Books and I'm not afraid to read them! 

    I've got Animated Films and I'm not afraid to watch them! 
  • Corpse Bride
    • Victor Van Dort's got a dwarf, and he's not afraid to use him!
    • He's also got a fork, and he's even LESS afraid to use it!
  • Shrek: Donkey's got a dragon and he's not afraid to use it! Made even better in the French dub, where Donkey says, "I've got a dragon and I won't hesitate to fire it!"
  • Atlantis The Lost Empire: Used by Dr. Sweet to Mole.
    Dr. Sweet: I've got soap, and I'm not afraid to use it!
  • An Extremely Goofy Movie: PJ has a biscotti, and he's not afraid to use it!
  • Aladdin's got a Genie and he's not afraid to use him!
  • Alvin and the Chipmunks Meet the Wolfman: The Sevilles' neighbor has got a lemon zester and he's not afraid to use it!

    I've got Jokes and I'm not afraid to tell them! 
  • Random bumper sticker says "I have an attitude and I'm not afraid to use it!"

    I've got Literature and I'm not afraid to read it! 

    I've got Live-Action TV and I'm not afraid to watch it! 
  • Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Gary Murray's got detention slips, and he's not afraid to use them — against vampires!
  • Everwood: Dr. Andrew Brown's got mind-altering drugs in the other room and he's not afraid to use them!
  • House's got a full bladder and he's not afraid to use it!
  • Lizzie McGuire: His wife has a bat. Mr. McGuire has a mitt and he's not afraid to use it.
  • Naturally Sadie: Rain has frozen pitas and he's not afraid to use them!
  • The Flying Karamazov Brothers used this line in a televised version of their stage show. "Back! Back! I've got a rubber rat, and I'm not afraid to use it!"

    I've got Music and I'm not afraid to listen to it! 
  • Brad Paisley, "Flowers": "I've got a Visa in my wallet / And I'm not afraid to use it" (to continue buying roses to ask for forgiveness).

    I've got Video Games and I'm not afraid to play them! 

    I've got Web Comics and I'm not afraid to read them! 
  • Dork Tower: Ken has a bar of soap at a gaming convention and he's not afraid to use it!
  • From the lawyers duo in The Order of the Stick:
    Mr. Jones: Get back! I have a restraining order and I'm not afraid to use it!
  • From Lenny the Ranger in Our Little Adventure:
    Lenny: S-stay back. I've got a magic shield and I-I'm not afraid to use it...

    I've got Web Original and I'm not afraid to surf it! 

    I've got Western Animation and I'm not afraid to watch it! 
  • Carl Squared: A security guard trying to get Carl Crashman and his friend Jamie to stop playing a video game demo in an electronics store:
    Security Guard: Beat it. I've got a walkie-talkie and I'm not afraid to use it.
  • Kim Possible's got a website and she's not afraid to use it!
  • From Garfield and Friends, when Garfield is dealing with a Man-Eating Plant.
    Garfield: I've got a food processor and I know how to use it!
  • I Am Weasel:
    I.M. Weasel: Nobody move! I've got a loaded monkey, and I'm not afraid to use it!
    I.R. Baboon: Click, click!
  • Taz-Mania: In "Tazmanian Lullaby", one of Francis' fellow tribesmen mocks his musical aspirations with the words "He's got an accordian and he's not afraid to use it!"
  • In Chowder when the lead character is trying to fend himself against Panini.
    Chowder: Back off woman, I have a fish, and I'm not afraid to use it!
  • The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh: Piglet with his spring. He didn't know what it was and he said it while using the trope.
    Piglet: I've got a-a... I've got a- whatever it is, and I'm not afraid to use it.
  • Near the end of one CatDog episode, Eddie the Squirrel shows up with a tick in his hand, resulting in the following line:
    Shriek: He's got a tick!
    Eddie: And I'm not afraid to use it, either!
  • Ed, Edd n Eddy: When Edd seems someone intruding in his kitchen at night and eating the food out of his refridgerator, he's using a cactus named Jim for protection, and utters this line when the intruder is nowhere to be seen as a window blows open:
    Edd: I've got a cactus!
  • The Smurfs: A Christmas Carol:
    Grouchy: I...I've got a blue belt in...in Smurf Fu and...and I'm not afraid to use it!


It's X. I Hate X.This Trope Is XI Will Show You X
I've Come Too FarStock PhrasesI've Heard of That What Is It?
It Is Pronounced Tro-PAYSelf-Demonstrating ArticleI Was Never Here

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