Funny / Critical Role Chroma Conclave

Critical Role's funny moments
Campaign 1 (Vox Machina): 1-23 | 24-38 | 39-83 | 84-99 | 100-115
Campaign 2 (Mighty Nein): 1-25 | 26-47 | 48-69 | 70-91 | 92-112 | 113-141
Campaign 3 (Bell's Hells): 1-22 | 23-38 | 39-51 | 52-64 | 65-80 | 81-
Critical Role One-Shots

The Chroma Conclave story arc begins when four ancient chromatic dragons attack Tal'Dorei and divide the kingdom between them. In order to defeat the dragons, Osysa — the gynosphinx who leads the Slayer's Take — sends Vox Machina on a quest to obtain "The Vestiges of Divergence": a series of famed magic items that are scattered throughout the world.

As a Moments subpage, all spoilers are unmarked as per policy. You Have Been Warned.

Episode 39: Omens

• Pre-show shenanigans between Sam Riegel and Travis Willingham. Sam wearing a Washington Redskins shirt, even though Travis is a known and pretty hardcore Dallas Cowboys fan.
• Taliesin's reaction when the second worm appears.
  Taliesin: This is becoming hentai.
• Keyleth casting the formidable, awesome sixth level spell Wind Walk... but not fully understanding how the spell works.
  • And then, the next day:
  Keyleth: I'd be using a sixth-level spell to be a glorified messenger? "Hey, we found this scary skull?"
  Scanlan: Hey, you used it yesterday for no reason too.
  [The other players burst into laughter]
• Taliesin assessing the Worms and Wind Walk situation.
  Taliesin: Okay. These creatures have no eyes.
  Matt: Correct.
  Taliesin: I'm made of smoke.
  Matt: M-hm.
  [Long Beat]
  Taliesin: [sighing] Ahh... Okay.
  [Marisha face palms]
  Travis: [to Taliesin] Yes. Well established.
  • Finally gets Hoist by His Own Petard: he rolls a natural 20...and Matt reminds him he has to roll again with disadvantage.
  Taliesin: NATURAL TWENTY, MOTHERFUCKER! [...] Three, motherfucker.
• Scanlan's Inspiration strikes again. When dealing with gigantic worms, you need nothing less than Prince:
  Scanlan (to Keyleth): I only want to see you slicing up that purple worm!
  The rest of the table, instantly: Purple worm, purple worm...
  • The chorus returns as soon as the purple worm makes its reappearance.
• Vax is unconscious and bleeding out after being accidentally cut open by Grog in an effort to slice him free of the worm. Percy and Grog...consider using the opportunity to draw on his face.
  Travis (miming writing over his mouth): Insert...here...
• Grog and Craven Edge have a Friendship Moment while covered in blood and guts.
  Grog: That was good, wasn't it?
  Craven Edge: You did good, my friend. Very, very good.
  Scanlan: Who are you talking to, Grog?
• Scanlan uses Bigby's Hand to loot gold.
• Grog has many talents, but lying is definitely not among them.
• After a transparent excuse about needing the bathroom, Scanlan attempts to infiltrate a private council meeting but is foiled immediately by the castle's newly upgraded magical protections. Uriel is neither surprised nor impressed, and Matt plays it so perfectly he doesn't even blink.
  Scanlan: That [bathroom] I tried to go into? That one's full and it needs a big cleaning.
  Uriel: Good to know, Scanlan.
  Scanlan: I thought there was another one this way...
  Uriel: There isn't, Scanlan.
  Scanlan: Not through there, or anything?
  [Uriel gives him an unblinking stare until he finally leaves.]
• Percy, Scanlan and Keyleth all going to the stockade to free Kaylie, who has been imprisoned for a drunken brawl. Highlights include:
  • Percy and Keyleth teasing Scanlan when he calls Kaylie "special to me", not realizing that it's because she's his daughter. When Scanlan reveals that they're related, the two of them (intentionally on the part of the players) guess every possible kind of relation except daughter.
  • Percival Frederickstein Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo the Third throwing his weight around and acting very much the pompous noble, including his explanation of political clout.
  Keyleth: (almost awed) That might be the most privileged thing you've ever said.
  Percy: (unabashed) It was the most privileged thing I've ever said that you've heard.
  • Percy claims the troupe is going to pay for the damages, and it's about at this point Scanlan realizes that Percy is tormenting him on purpose to get revenge for throwing his gun in the acid:
  Scanlan: I could have picked anyone to be with me here!
  Percy: (smirking) You chose so poorly. It is truly impressive how poorly you chose.
  • Percy has to make a persuasion check... and Taliesin feebly whimpers that it was a 1. He then steels himself and tells Matt to Bring It.
  • Scanlan punches Percy in the face, and the warden of the jail breaks it up:
  Warden: Would it make you feel better if [Percy]'s thrown in prison?
  Scanlan: It would.
  Percy: It would make me feel better if he were thrown in prison!
  Warden: Oh, don't worry, you'll both be going.
  Keyleth: (over the comm earrings) Hey guys, how's it goin' in there?
  Percy and Scanlan: (simultaneously) Great, great.
  • Also worth noting is Percy's melodramatic squawks of indignation as he clutches his face, trying to play along... before Scanlan punches a guard, at which point he demands "Where are you going with this?".
  • And then as they're manacled together:
  Percy: (to Scanlan) I blame you for this.
• After Dranzel's troupe leaves, Vex happily declares that they forgot to take their gold, and that she likes them. She then goes into the kitchen where she discovers that every single piece of silverware is missing, and declares she hates them.
  • Taliesin begs Matt to tell him that the massive painting of Scanlan was also stolen, but Matt tells him that painting hasn't been delivered yet.
    Liam: And where would it have been hidden on their person?
    Taliesin: They could have rolled it up and stuck it where the sun don't shine.
    Marisha: A twenty by six foot canvas?
    Taliesin: ...Some caverns run deep.
• The party ponders getting Jarrett to stand guard over the skull in Percy's workshop. Percy starts wondering if they should give Jarrett a rest, since they used him for everything - and Matt informs them that Jarrett is already standing there.
  Scanlan: Don't you ever sleep?
  • The party then happily fanboys and/or fangirls over Jarrett's awesomeness:
  Vex: We need to give him a raise!
  Jarrett: Yes, you do.
• Grog attempts to break into Percy's workshop and is foiled, once again, by a door. (This door is admittedly designed to withstand anything up to and including an explosion, but it's still uncanny.) The next day he gets it into his head to trying getting some lockpicks from a merchant, but accidentally terrifies the poor man into fleeing.
• Scanlan, Gilmore and Grog all linking arms and skipping down the street together. Just...envision the height difference.
• While still a terrifying sign of how clearly outmatched the group is against the ancient dragons, the sheer Oh, Crap! reaction on Travis's face as he realizes just how hard it would be to damage one is pretty funny.
  Travis: [reads his dice, makes to roll another] Nineteen.
  Matt: Nineteen misses.
  [Travis looks up in surprise, his dice hand stopping cold.]
  Sam: [in disbelief] Nineteen misses?
  …
  Travis: Sorry, little distracted that I just took a swing at death incarnate.
  • Related: all of the players wearing expressions of utter horror except Sam, who's both alarmed and amused by the change in their fortunes. It's an amazing contrast.

Episode 40: Desperate Measures

• Pike using Grog as cover. "Classic Pike/Grog technique."
• While it happens in a distinctly unfunny context, Laura's out-of-character response to Percy dramatically sprinting across the room and tackling the skull away from Vex a fraction of a second before Grog can steal it from her:
  Laura: Are you gonna try to pull me out of the way or just the fucking skull, you dick?
• Pike Insight checks Grog, rolls well, and Matt describes his motives with hilariously painful accuracy as "a simple mind looking for a simple solution to a complex problem". Travis mimes slapping out flames from the burn.
• Percy stuck in Hold Person again and trying to voice protests when he can't even open his jaw when Keyleth reaches the end of her tether.
  Percy: (defensive mumbling)
  Keyleth: Shut up, Percy!
  Percy: (subdued mumbling)
• The session draws to a close with multiple cities in ruins, a terrible threat looming over the continent, Vox Machina swearing to gather allies to fight it, and Keyleth still reeling from shock and grief. So what does Matt have to say immediately after declaring an end to the session?
  Matt: (maniacally cheerful) Hey guys, D&D is fun!
  Liam: Hey, we're all cows! Be sure to buy a t-shirt over on Geek&Sundry.com!
  Taliesin: Brought to you by Wyrmwood Gaming! Specifically designed to absorb tears!
  [...]
  Matt: I would say I'm sorry, but... I'm not.
  Taliesin: (to Travis) I would have kicked your ass, by the way.
  Travis: Uh huh.
  [...]
  Liam: (to Travis) I was going to carve my name into your nuts.
• After the session, and thus out of character, the cast talks about the Githyanki skull.
  • Taliesin says that using the skull would definitely have backfired and the example he uses is "working in a Lich's sugar mine". Travis retorts that they all would have been kings and queens while Grog would have servants to give him sponge baths with their tongues.
  • Marisha is disappointed that the mysterious wish-granting entity in the skull was a "shithead pirate".

Episode 41: In Ruins

• Grog chiming in with Allura and Keyleth that he is also tapped out of teleportation magic. The look Laura gives Travis is priceless.
• Grog makes a Heh Heh, You Said "X" crack about the word "duty". Keyleth snaps that it's not the time... but Marisha says it was Actually Pretty Funny.
• Matt describes the party's restless dreams that night, which is more of a Tear Jerker... until he gets to Grog:
  Matt: Scanlan, you're plagued by the thought of your newly discovered daughter being not far outside the city when all this went down.
  Percy, you have flashes of the idea of Whitestone, just recently saved, being torn apart by dragons not two weeks later.
  You [Keyleth] are plagued by visions of the moment that Thordak must have torn through [Pyrah]
  Both you [Vax and Vex], you can't help but think back to Byroden and seeing the smoldering ruin that you now know to be the work of the Cinder King fifteen years before, and wondering if that's the last thing your mother saw.
  Grog... you want that skull!
• Gilmore's reaction to Scanlan asking him if he's a dragon.
  Gilmore: If you could make me one...that would be sexy.
• Vox Machina's discussion of sending someone to spy on Thordak, which somehow winds up at Scanlan becoming Thordak's gimp.
• Vex and Keyleth argue over what to Polymorph Trinket into, consider a raccoon (possibly wisecracking), but ultimately and enthusiastically agree on a red panda. When the spell's complete both of them Squee over his cuteness. They're a little while about deciding, too, so Matt adds that Trinket rolls his eyes and has an expression reading "Kill me now".
• At the beginning of the ambush there's one poor bastard on the wrong end of Vex's arrows and Percy's gun. It's overkill at its finest—he was not only comically low-level compared to them, he was Hunter's Marked and Hexed.
  Vex'ahlia: Fuck that guy in particular.
• Sam and Travis, attempting to avoid metagaming, won't assume that the looters were taking their spoils to Thordak...and Liam reminds them that Scanlan charmed one of them. The delivery sells it:
  Scanlan: Oi, dwarf.
  Dwarf: Aye.
  Scanlan: Who have you been collecting swag for?
  Dwarf: The dragon.
  Scanlan: Okay.
• Gilmore's Casual Danger Dialogue as he's just recovered from near-death and trying to keep everyone's spirits up.
• Explaining why the Clasp might be some of their most useful allies, Percy/Taliesin starts tripping over his words, so he simplifies his explanation and claims it's for Grog's benefit.
• Toward the end of Critmas, Matt is sent a Colossal Red Dragon figure from the DnD Icons line, and he's over the moon about it. Then he finds that he was sent another one, this time in the box, and is reduced to gushing and talking for the figures like a little kid. The best part is his playfully petulant response to Marisha's suggestion that he keep the one in the box for collectors' value:
  Matt: I open my toys, Marisha. You should know this. I don't buy them for collecting; I buy them for playing.
  • Liam's remark is even funnier:
    Liam: "How can I create my stop-motion Waiting for Godot production with all dragons if I don't open the box?"
    Matt: Don't knock it; it's gonna be great.
  • At the end, Matt uses a creepy villain voice to talk to one of the dragon figures:
    Matt: Seven years...you're mine now.
    Taliesin: That's what you said when we met.

Episode 42: Dangerous Dealings

• Beginning of game shenanigans.
• When Scanlan's asked if he's willing to be a spy in Emon with Thordak, hilarity ensues.
  Scanlan: I've thought about it long and hard.
  Keyleth: You have? What are your thoughts?
  Scanlan: Everything I do is long and hard.
  (Matt facepalms as everyone laughs)
  Scanlan: My thoughts are still: fuck you, no way, fuck off.
  Grog: So what you're saying is...?
  Scanlan: Maybe.
• Taliesin's horrible jokes and the return of anti-inspiration.
• Liam once again brings up the "this isn't a JRPG" point when Percy makes a plan involving getting a Global Airship.
• When trying to figure out how to transport the refugees to Whitestone, Sam gives us this gem. The look on Liam's face sells it.
  Scanlan: That's how Schindler did it.^*Sam Riegel is Jewish IRL, so he can get away with this kind of humor.
  Liam: (after several seconds of soundless laughing) No words! No words!
• When talking to the refugees before transporting them.
  Vex'ahlia: I like that we're sending them to the place with the Orb of Death.
  Refugee: Wha- What was that?
  Vex'ahlia: Oh, I just said you might be able to see your breath!
• Vax telling the refugees that there definitely aren't any vampires in Whitestone.
• When Keyleth opens the tree portal and everyone frantically trying to explain to the refugees how to get through, Percy accidentally makes an anachronistic reference and manages to quickly justify it.
  Keyleth: As soon as you see the tree part, run!
  Percy: And keep running, so that you make room for everyone behind you. We don't want like, it's not the bottom of an escalator... whatever that is. It's a thing I've been working on, it's going to be great.
• Travis's utter shock at Sam getting the names from Top Gun wrong, and subsequently correcting him. Sam tries to argue that he was right. Travis is very confident.
  Travis: You don't wanna do this with me.
  • This remark from Taliesin:
    Taliesin: This is the first conversation I've ever been in in this group where I feel young.
• Vex'ahlia's limerick to Scanlan:
  Have you heard tell of Scanlan the bard?
  Or Burt Reynolds, if you look at his card
  Always tries to get laid,
  Sometimes with ladies he made,
  But I still respect him, 'cause rhyming is hard.
• During the fight with wyverns and their riders, Keyleth turns one into a chicken, causing it to slam on the ground. The resulting 10 points of damage are more than enough to kill the chicken, meaning the wyvern is restored to its original form, almost unharmed. At least she deals 14 points of damage to the two riders, but still that's not how she hoped it'd have turned out.
• Scanlan takes a huge damage, assuming to fall below 0, then Laura reminds him that he still has 3 hit points left. Sam Riegel's reaction turns the situation from tense to hilarious.
• Everyone's reactions to Vax and Keyleth having a moment during their last night in Greyskull Keep. Laura in particular assumes the obvious and even mouths her assumption to Travis.
  Vax: Hi. I don't want to be alone tonight. Do you?
  Taliesin and Sam both immediately react with wide eyes, risen eyebrows and the hint of a smile on Taliesin's part.
  Keyleth: I haven't been wanting to be alone most nights.
  Laura: (mouthing to Travis) They're gonna fuck.
  • And then there's Taliesin's reaction after the Time Skip and everyone starts cracking up:
  Taliesin: That wasn't the kind of ship I was hoping to get. I don't think we can all fit on that ship.
  • Better yet, Scanlan tries the same line on Vex, and she just shoves him to the ground.
• Percy making certain to qualify that going to steal an airship is a caper, not an afterthought.
• Even with his player not around, Thorbir continues to have awful luck, losing to Aldor in a card game.
  • Matt noting specifically that Thorbir also has terrible luck at dice.
• Before they abandon Greyskull Keep, Scanlan shits on his bed as he says his goodbyes to his room.

Episode 43: Return to Vasselheim

• The return of Kashaw and Zahra sees both of their players in top comedy form.
  Kashaw: I'm cold and I still haven't been paid.
• Aldor's utter horror whenever the party mentions Lyra, which they naturally troll him with constantly.
• After receiving advice and guidance from Osysa, Scanlan mentions that she gave the party much to sphinx about. The entire party groans. It also triggers Sarcastic Clapping from Vanessa.
  Vanessa: And to think, I might have briefly missed you.
• Vax asking if he does gangster signs will it give Vex Advantage on a Persuasion roll, Matt replies that it'd actually give Disadvantage.
• When Kashaw and Zahra talk about how hot they think Keyleth is, Marisha slides all the way down in her seat, covering her face with her notebook.
• Vex starts asking Vax about Keyleth and he mentions that he thinks she's attractive:
  Vex: Yes, yes yes, Keyleth is SO. FUCKING. BEAUTIFUL. I get it.
  Vax: Well, so are you but what the fuck am I gonna do with that? Jeez, you're fuckin' weird!
  • Taliesin's response:
    Taliesin: Now we're getting somewhere.
• Kashaw's reactions to mentions of the party's previous antics like when Vax got flicked in the groin by Grog.
• The incredibly successful haggling with the potion merchant who scammed Grog way, way back in Episode 22. It starts with Grog trying to prove his haggling skills, which Vax tries to nip in the bud in such a way that Grog, whose Intelligence stat is 6, will understand.
  Vax: Grog, do you know what math is?
  Grog: Mathis?
  • Grog then appoints Vex his "Manager of Shiny", and it escalates from there.
    Vex: Oh, what a shame. I've already Hunter's Marked you.
    Merchant: (horrified) I don't even know what that means!
  • Special mention goes to the Knick Knacks of Kah.
    Scanlan: Those are the Knick Knacks of Kah!
    Percy: No, not the Knick Knacks of Kah!
• Matt's snarking at the party complaining about how expensive healing potions are.
  Matt: Oh my god I just buy healing to save my life it's such a waste! Oh my god there's a whole trade of talented magical practitioners who spend their time crafting and brewing up these potions in hopes they'll save your life in the future!
• The return of Victor the black powder merchant, including the moment when Victor tries to open a metal can of black powder with a blowtorch. It's actually coffee.
  Victor: Can I help you?!?!?!
  [Everybody laughs]
  Percy: Yes, it's Percival. Do you remember me?
  Victor: [almost immediately] ...No!
  [Everybody laughs harder]
  ...
  Victor:: Come in, come in, yes!
  Percy: Do I have to? Okay!
  • Matt manages to break Liam even before the blowtorch moment.
    Liam: I'm going to stand over here and fail to stay in-character.
  • The moment when Matt reveals that since they last met, Victor lost two fingers on his right hand. Liam nearly Spit Takes, and Marisha exclaims, "Oh, he has character progression!"
    Percy: That's, uh, that's… impressive.
    Victor: LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES!
• Kern and Grog have a conversation in an alleyway, and everybody else points out that it plays like an awkward conversation with an ex.
• Vax's somewhat drunken attempt at convincing Kashaw to put aside his mercenary ideals and fight for a good cause mostly consists of earnestly complimenting him, with the Ho Yay heavily lampshaded by the rest of the table, but the final line is the crowner:
  Vax: (miserably) It's dark in this closet!
  • As it plays out, that wasn't a metaphor. Vax actually managed to lock himself in a closet.
• The entire segment at the bar, just before the break, where everyone is drunk. Percy sums it up best:
  Percy: The dragons don't stand a chance.
  • He has another pithy summary of the whole disastrous Keyleth-Vax-Kashaw love triangle:
  Percy: My god, I love other people's problems.
• Sam/Scanlan singing a song of inspiration, as per usual. But this time singing a parody of the Washington Redskins Fight Song. What really sells it is that Grog/Travis was really into the song, before the revelation. Travis is a hardcore Dallas Cowboys fan. The realization of what Sam was singing almost makes him refuse the inspiration die; he only uses it out of necessity and even then uses a different one to his initial pick, purely on principle.
• Getting thrown by Vax'ildan, during the Earthbreaker Groon fight, Scanlan looks up to see whether or not Kashaw is making moves on Keyleth. He is, but Keyleth is too busy freaking out over the fight to notice.
• After the fight, Keyleth runs over to Vax, hugs him, and kisses him on the mouth. Vax, who is still slightly drunk/hungover and has just been punched in the abdomen several times, throws up. Fortunately, Keyleth makes her dodge saving throw.
• Lady Kima is back! While Vox Machina cheering for her is adorable, and Keyleth defending her to Highbearer Vord is heartwarming (given how the two butted heads in the Kraghammer arc), this animatic adds even more hilarity:
  • (WHACK) "OH NO YOU DON'T! This is MY home turf!"
  • Vox Machina's shocked expressions changing into smirks and smiles all round. Grog in particular sports a wide grin. It's even funnier in contrast with Vord's bewildered and beleaguered reaction.
  • As Vord tells Vox Machina to stop Kima from doing anything stupid, she has a halo over her head and an angelic smile, and the party is drawn like grinning demons. He's clearly asking the wrong people to keep her in check.

Episode 44: The Sunken Tomb

• Vex finally meets her match in the book seller Benjamin Cole, and ends up paying full price for something for the first time ever. Meanwhile, the other members of the party are shouting helpful suggestions as she haggles.
  Scanlan: Just kill him!
  Kashaw: Ask him how his family is.
  Zahra: Use your Hunter's Mark on him.
• Kima has taken to drinking whenever a member of Vox Machina does something particularly stupid.
  • In the real world, while it didn't last long, twitter began inventing Lady Kima Facts in the style of Chuck Norris Facts.
• Matt makes the mistake of naming an NPC "Purvan", which almost certainly sounded better in his head. He has to threaten them with adding HP to all their hostile encounters before they even begin to let up.
  • Black Comedy Hilarious in Hindsight: Laura, the resident twelve-year-old, leads the cast in making fun of Purvan's name. Vex dies courtesy of a trap in Purvan's tomb. Karma!
• Grog, Scanlan, Vax'ildan, and the moon hammer shenanigans!
  • Grog tries the hammer out on an unwitting Scanlan, who immediately tells him to target Vax instead. The test is Vax's stealth versus Grog's perception:
    Vax: 37.
    Grog: 2.
  • Vax's amazing stealth roll manifests as hiding behind Vex and mirroring her movements like a cartoon.
  • Scanlan casts Minor Illusion to make a half-baked mannequin version of Vax, and Grog naturally rolls very low on insight.
    Matt: Finally! Vax cannot evade your vision this time, Grog!
  • When the hammer passes through the illusion harmlessly, Grog immediately thinks he killed Vax. Zahra leads him over to Vax, and Grog is so overjoyed he gives Vax a bear hug that almost kills him for real.
• Kashaw and Scanlan's night conversation, where he's Mistaken for Gay by Scanlan and he sarcastically plays along.
  Matt: The hours pass, and through intense conversation you get to know each other...
  Kashaw: For the love of god, can something please attack us?
• Laura has a bit of confusion over her perception roll.
  Laura: That is a thirty-one... no, forty-one... no...
  Liam: No, seventy-one!
  Matt: You see through reality.
• Similarly to the Purvan incident, Matt uses the phrase "pucker point" in one of his descriptions of Marrowglade Loch, leading to a solid minute of Loch Anus jokes.
  Mary: Aye, Loch Anus—it's very muddy.
  (Collective Groan from the rest of the table)
  Mary: Nae, it's true, I stuck me nose in it!
  (louder Collective Groan)
• Grog and Kashaw are relieving themselves in the lake after a night's rest. Kashaw looks over to Grog and says simply, "Holy god."
• The twins getting stuck in the sinkhole. It's not the situation as much as the sheer indifference the rest of the party shows as they slowly sink into the mud that really sells it.
• When Scanlan attempts to disarm a swinging blade trap by reaching his bare hand into the mechanism, Percy offers this lovely bit of encouragement:
  Percy: We'll get two tries each. It'll be great.
• The reactions to the Beholder makes for some pretty good Schadenfreude.
  Travis: Happy Anniversary, you dicks!
• Percy slips up on his epic Bond One-Liner tendencies..
  Percy: (after killing a kua-toa) I don't speak fish.
  Percy: ...That was the worst kill line ever.
• Keyleth and Kashaw's extremely awkward talk at the end of the episode veers between hilarious and heartwarming.

Episode 45: Those Who Walk Away...

• Kashaw being played by Matt in such a deadpan manner.
• Grog's "expert" analysis surrounding Vex'ahlia's death.
• This moment after an extraordinarily tense exchange between Percy and Vax:
  Vax: Goodnight, Percival.
  Percy: Goodnight, Vax.
  Scanlan/Sam: It's four in the afternoon!
• Grog and Scanlan shenanigans. Scanlan goes to retrieve the painting he commissioned back during the Whitestone arc, and Grog tries to have a chat with Craven Edge while on the toilet, leading to this line.
  Craven Edge: My hunger grows, but the air tarnishes my blade...
  • As Liam points out, the outhouses in Whitestone are not goliath-sized, so it's a very confined space to be taking out a massive greatsword in. Matt does some excellent physical acting as he mimes Grog trying to take Craven Edge off his back, then describes the sword actually breaking through the outhouse wall. Scanlan just assumes Grog had some tacos.
  • The funnier part is this comes right after an extremely intense emotional conversation between Vex and Keyleth, which ends with Keyleth bursting into tears. Cut to Scanlan and Grog trying to find some way to pass the time. As Scanlan cries upon seeing the painting, Marisha points out that this means he and Keyleth are crying at the same time, for very different reasons. She and Sam turn this into a parody of a Distant Duet.
• So, Percy, what do you call that siege arrow you stayed up all night making to apologize for killing Vex in the previous episode?
  Percy: This? This is an evening of unbridled guilt.
• After Grog's successful Animal Handling check, he pulls two items out of the Bag of Holding to feed to Galdric. One of them is a unit of dried food rations, and the other is a "dark elf brain". You can feel the WTF from the rest of the cast.
  Travis: There is veritable Walmart of shit in this bag.
• Keyleth's Adorkable attempt to command Galdric.
  • She asks what might happen if she tried turning into a wolf...
  Keyleth: Do you think he'd respect me?
  Vex: No, he'll probably attack you.
  Grog: He'll mount you.
  Vex: Or he'll bone you.
• Vex's "Pokeball" for Trinket.
  Vex: By the power vested in me...I now pronounce you...my Pokemon.
• Grog hopes to find a brothel while the party is in Whitestone. Percy misunderstands the request.
  Grog: I want to get my freak on.
  Percy: ...I don't feel that way about you, Grog.
• Percy's line "Your secret is safe with my indifference."
• Vax trying to guilt-trip Percy into paying Vex more money from his family treasury, even though Vax isn't present in the scene:
  Liam: I'd like to think you hear me in your mind.
  Taliesin: I always hear your fucking voice in my mind! It's very quiet in there these days.
• Vax tries to talk to Scanlan:
  Vax: We don't talk a lot.
  Scanlan: Well, we start to, then you leave the room usually.
  Vax: Yeah. I don't handle confrontation, personal, emotional confrontation very well.
  Scanlan: It's okay. (I walk away.)

Episode 46: Cindergrove Revisited

• Chris Hardwick clearly had a lot of fun with his character Gern Blanston—an oddball blue Dragonborn necromancer who yells like crazy and is a candle maker. He calls the exploding magical candles he makes "Tragedy Candles".
• Gern has a small group of animated corpses that he treats like pets and is outraged that Vox Machina destroyed one of them. Scanlan points out that, given that they're undead, this can't be the first time this has happened.
  Gern: It does happen quite a lot, actually, yes. Now that I think about it, it's probably a little bit on me, I suppose.
  • Gern observes that Scanlan is quite rude, and also notes that he looks exhausted. ^*Scanlan and Vex both took two points of exhaustion last session from climbing up the volcano that leads to Pyrah.
• Percy and Gern seem to have a little rivalry going. It's one of the few times Percy's been out-snarked:
  Gern: What's the name of your group?
  Scanlan: Vox Machina!
  Gern: No offense, but that sounds like a shite band.
  Percy: It's better than "Tragedy Candle," really. I mean that's kind of a shite band -
  Gern: They opened for Vox Machina!

• "SQUEEZE THE CANDLE, FATTY ARBUCKLE!"
• Scanlan and Gern banter with one another all episode, and successfully ruin a How Do You Want To Do This.
• Laura and a confusing partially-faded dice.
  Laura: What is that number? It's completely smooshed off of the dice!
  Liam: That means that existence is about to end.
• Vex has only recently multiclassed into Rogue, so has trouble figuring out of one of her new abilities. Liam chimes in:
  Liam: I'm sorry, it's a rookie Rogue mistake, it happens at the beginning. At the higher levels, you mess up the Assassinate thing constantly.
• At one point, for no real reason, Gern has his undead dance as a distraction—and it works. They continue to dance throughout the episode while everything else goes on. Taliesin and Marisha start imitating the dancing, and Taliesin starts singing "Zombie Jamboree".
• Vax advises an enemy that 'You don't want to fuck with [Grog's] beard!' Chris quips 'She has a name...' and the group cracks up as Liam meekly apologizes to Laura.
• When Vax rolls three attacks to damage the djinni, his first attack is a total of 34. Matt is doubtful.
  Matt: How'd you get 34 on your attack?
  Liam: ...I don't know any more.
  • Liam realises he made a mistake calculating the damage and Matt mimes a really bad nosebleed from trying to figure it out.
• Grog, believing he's a spellcaster, trying to use Animate Dead on a Salamander corpse he and Vax just killed. He does an Arcana check, decides it's taking too long and gives up.
• Scanlan finishes off the efreeti with a Lightning Bolt from his crotch, marking its chest with an S.
• After Vax is dragged from the lava by a Grasping Vine, Liam stops to ask Matt whether he's landed anywhere near Keyleth, obviously hoping for a character moment. Matt pauses, checks the map...and rules that no, Vax is lying right next to a dancing zombie.
  Liam: (dazed) I...Iook at the zombie...I look at Keyleth...I look back at the zombie...
  • Travis waits for Vax and Keyleth to finish their quiet moment before adding that he'd like to get out of the lava now, please.
• As Keyleth's father turns from a serious conversation with her to have another serious word with Vax, Don't You (Forget About Me) starts playing, completely ruining the moment.
• Chris's words are contagious.
  • Matt, describing a scene, tries to say "petrified" but instead says "petrifoied", and blames Chris for it.
  • He keeps calling the enemies "fuckers" to the point where Taliesin slips and does the same, in the accent, immediately kicking himself for doing so.
  • No one remarks on it, but Liam exclaims "Shite" twice.
• Near the end of the episode, Gern, apropos of very little if not nothing, tells his entire life story in a single run-on sentence, implying that Chris had prepared a backstory and wanted to include it into the episode somehow.
• After Vex steals Gern's broom, Gern not only accepts her lie that it fell into the lava but he also praises Vex as the nicest person.

Episode 47: The Family Business

• Scanlan suggests they find housing through his "magical dalliances", and Grog naturally asks if that's another term for his penis. Scanlan confirms that it is.
  Percy: I think your penis may have more names than I do. I'm kind of horrified.
• Scanlan: "It's a sick... HOUSE." Summoning Mordenkainen's Magnificent Mansion even gets a song.
• Grog attacking Ethereal servants, thinking that they're ghosts.
• Vax'ildan questioning Scanlan on whether or not he was holding out on the rest of Vox Machina.
  • Grog says Scanlan should change his alias from Burt Reynolds to Hugh Hefner.
• Percy has an idea for the party's downtime. They should find a table, get some paper and dice and play a game. Game-ception!
• Scanlan's Stephen Colbert inspired painting (a painting that depicts himself posing in front of another, identical painting of himself).
• Scanlan's Trinket-hate continues, with him saying that he forgot to build a room for Trinket.
• Grog asking the Spectral servants for a cow... and then he punches the cow, repeatedly, to see if it bleeds.
  • Scanlan later mentions the cow has a broken nose.
• Vex'ahlia down in the training room trying to figure out how the broom flies.
  Grog: You didn't clean very much.
  • Before that, Vex paws at the Bag of Holding for the flying broom and the second she pulls it out and Laura is holding up her arm, somebody's phone sounds off with a DING!!.
  Sam: Ooh, how did you do that?!
  • Laura saying "Fatty Arbuckle" in a faux brogue accent.
  • She then goes to Scanlan's room to have him help her figure out how the broom flies. What sells it is that he's laying in bed, black satin sheets, and there are five spectral musicians playing some sensual bossanova music.
  • She starts singing "Defying Gravity."
• Percy and Keyleth sitting in a lounge reading.
  Percy: We never talk anymore.
  Keyleth: We really don't.
  (long pause)
• This exchange between a very aggressively defensive Grog and a totally unflappable Percy, as the subject of confronting Kevdak and the Herd of Storms is debated and the question of Grog's desire to avoid it - Percy is truly lucky to be alive.
  Grog: I'm not hiding from my herd.
  Percy: [casually] You were giving off the impression of one who is looking forward to putting something off.
  Grog: [tranquil fury] I was, was I?
  Percy: [smirking] You were. You're not anymore. As if you've been dared, somehow.
  • Scanlan attempts to do the same thing, overreaches and immediately backs off - all from the look on Travis's face.
• Travis's reaction to the party learning who's helping the dragons rule Westruun, and Taliesin's glee over someone else's past coming back to haunt them.
• Grog tries to let Scanlan hold Craven Edge but fails the charisma check to give it up, so he tries to play it off like he changed his mind. The notoriously low-insight Scanlan tries to insight check him and rolls a 7...but he still succeeds, because Grog rolled a 3.
  • Scanlan and Grog promise to keep their discussion about Craven Edge a secret, just like that time when they "double-teamed the Eiffel tower".

Episode 48: Into the Frostweald

• Liam and Taliesin having a brief moment together singing a tune from "Secret Garden: The Musical."
  Liam: Can we have the break so Taliesin and I can go make out in the other room?
  Matt: Oh, don't go on break for that! Just move your seating arrangements.
• Vex'ahila showing off on the flying broom for the refugees of Westruun, and falling off, but sloppily playing it off as a feat of acrobatics.
  • There are several children watching, and Taliesin gleefully asks "which child in the crowd is going to become Robin".
• Keyleth wanting a high-five from a guard, but is left hanging.
• Percy asking Vex'ahlia if she actually has a concussion, after a long rest after her mishap on the broom.
• Scanlan's "Uncle Vesuvius" which Taliesin jokes is also named "Uncle Touchy."
• Pike once again burning Scanlan by asking if there was a lock on the gnome sized door that connects her room to Scanlan's.
• Percy worried about the implications of an "all-purpose" room.
  Scanlan: Don't look in that room with a black light.
• Vex'ahlia is trying target practice of essentially skeet shooting thrown chickens while flying on her broom. Due to a critical failure, she ends up aiming at where the chicken was, rather than where it is going, meaning, due to a failed Dexterity saving throw, she hits Scanlan. Making it even better is that while the aiming was a 1, the damage from the attack was full damage, meaning Scanlan is shot in the neck for 17 points of damage by an arrow with a whole chicken skewered onto it.
  • As if that moment wasn't sold enough from Sam/Scanlan, Grog is just giving applause, and Pike (of all people) just thought it was amazing!
    Pike: That was amazing!
    Keyleth: This is the best brunch we've ever done.
  • Also, Percy/Taliesin keeps making chicken noises the whole time to much comedic effect.
  • Afterwards, Taliesin has a realization and gets incredibly giddy.
    Taliesin: Ooh, ooh! Does this mean when the night's over there's going to be a little pool of blood where the door was?
    Matt: You'll find out.
    Taliesin: (clapping) YAY!
• Scanlan's inspiration dice song for Pike this session is an...interesting version of Hotline Bling.
  Scanlan: 'I used to scry you on the shit-phone...'
• Percy ends up in a staring contest with a basilisk, and decides to bark at it.
  Matt: Orthax has left his mark on you.
• "Blindsight" starring Ashley Johnson. What really sells it is the Spit Take from Marisha, who was taking a sip of coffee after having turned Keyleth into a scorpion to fight basilisks.
• Vox Machina finds Tyriok the mapmaker petrified and his arm broken off. Once Pike unpetrifies him, Black Comedy reigns when they realize they should have reattached the arm before healing him and he immediately begins screaming and bleeding huge gouts of blood. Some of it gets on Pike as she tries to heal the stump. Once that's resolved, Tyriok's surprisingly upbeat and glad about being alive, even after finding his guides both turned to stone and shattered and his work similarly in pieces. Scanlan, as usual, has words of encouragement.
  Scanlan: Who has two thumbs and is glad to be alive? You and me both doing this! (Scanlan does a thumbs up)

Episode 49: A Name Is Earned

• Sam proving Matt wrong, by arriving when he normally does immediately after Matt said he'd be arriving later than usual.
  • Made even more humorous when Travis offers (threatens?) to play as Scanlan until Sam shows up.
• Tyriok saying his brain is his best weapon. Grog is not impressed.
• Vax lends Tyriok his Keen Dagger in case they get into a fight, but Vex, not wanting to part with such a rare item, convinces him it'll suck his life out. (Vax doesn't roll high enough to beat her Deception Check, despite knowing that's not how the Keen Dagger works) She gives him a less-valuable Opal Dagger instead...but Grog is nearby and decides to get in on the fun.
  Grog: You know what that one does? It makes you infertile.
• Keyleth summons two dryads, which both fall immediately into a pit of spikes.
  Liam: Should've gone with the Will-o'-the-Wisps!
  • Also the conversation preceding the spell, as Matt learned that according to the description of the spell, the DM should have a list of creatures that could be conjured.
  Matt: Fuck that spell!
  • Later Laura teases him by asking for a list of creatures she can summon.
  Matt: I will fight you.
• Scanlan casting Otiluke's Resilient Sphere, and rolling into the orc's camp hamster-style while singing the "Trolololol" song.
• Keyleth goes Earth Elemental and throws one of the Orcs into the spike pit. The others joke that maybe the other Dryad can help finish him off now, or it could be squashed further into the spikes by it. Matt decides that just as the Dryad had almost climbed out of the pit, the Orc falls on it and pushes them both back in.
• Percy tries to stage an awesome moment by stabbing an orc climbing out of the spike pit with a javelin. He misses, so he tosses the javelin away and shoots the orc point-blank in the face.
• Sam/Scanlan casting Inspiration on Keyleth by singing a parody of "Centerfold" by The J. Geils Band, made doubly funny by Taliesin jumping in on backup right on cue.
  Sam/Scanlan:

  Her blood runs cold

  Her memory has just been sold

  The druid is the centerfold
  Sam/Scanlan and Taliesin: [harmonising]

  Druid is the centrefold
  • To top it off, Matt describes Keyleth - who is in the form of a giant Earth Elemental - cocking her head to one side in confusion.
• Scanlan in crow form annoying Vex, just because he can.
  Vex: One caw for yes, two caws for no.
  (Scanlan ignores her and looks around absentmindedly)
  Vex: You can't even understand me now? This is ridiculous.
  Sam: I don't know. (to Matt) Can I understand her?
  Matt: Yeah, you can understand her.
  Sam: Sure, I'm just fucking with her then.
  • Accompanied by Taliesin's excellent crow impression.
  Taliesin: I've been paid good money for that.
• Followed by Sam's impressive mime of an owl once his first Polymorph spell was broken.
• Travis' face when Craven Edge tells Grog that he's "almost full."
• Percy goes up against Vox Machina's most feared enemy and wins.
  Grog: What do you see, Percy?
  Percy: I see a door that I have conquered.
• Percy attempts to investigate a silk thread. Taliesin rolls a 2.
  Taliesin: So my investigation is 5, which is how old I'm turning.
• In an effort to call out the androsphinx's name, Keyleth guesses "Issylra", only to admit that it might actually be the name of a continent (which Matt confirms).
• In what seems like a Moment of Awesome during the episode's climactic battle, Grog heroically jumps into a dangerous portal to find the last few letters of the Androsphinx's name. Then Laura points out that Grog doesn't actually know how to read.
• Scanlan's Cutting Words manifest as Sam blowing a lip-shaped novelty whistle. Later, as the battle takes a turn for the worse and it's Percy's turn, Sam says "Don't worry, I still have my lips", and blows the whistle as Taliesin slowly turns his head toward him and then the table dissolves into laughter.
• After the battle and everything has calmed down, Vox Machina takes a moment to appreciate the ridiculousness of how, due to magical Rapid Aging, Vex is younger than her twin brother by several decades due to the Androsphinx only being able to restore Vex's youth and not the others who were affected.

Episode 50: Best Laid Plans...

• "[Matt's] taking a picture. Why is he taking a picture!?" "Because he is a terrible person, that's why he's taking a picture."
• When Keyleth Plane Shifts Craven Edge into the Dread Emperor's dimension, Liam jokingly cries "Help meeeeeee!!" in a comically squeaky voice.
  • Grog also shouts "I'm not cravin' bacon anymore!"
• After Craven Edge is banished, Grog says that there was also a dagger that came with it. Everyone is alarmed before he laughs and says he was joking.
• Scanlan asks if Grog needs a weapon, and suggests borrowing his whip:
  Grog: I'm like Northrop Grumman meets Raytheon in this Bag of Holding, we're good.
• Grog refers to a still-aged-up Vax as "ol' wrinkly nuts".
• Travis's reaction to reading Craven Edge's full stat list. It consists primarily of cursing Matt's name.
  Travis: Oh, FUCK you!
• Grog talking to the Firebrand Warhammer, as if expecting to hear another voice.
  Grog: (after several seconds) The silent type. I like it.
• Matt makes an offhand mention of a character chopping wood at the refugee camp. Laura, after constantly being frustrated by the lack of trees around the camp, asks where he got the wood from. Then Liam knocks a glass off the table, and everyone decides it was because Laura tried to bug the DM about continuity.
  Matt: (with a dramatic hand gesture) And that's what happens!
• "I will grant you cock lightning."
• Grog (who can't spell) explaining to Scanlan how to spell Zanror:
  Grog: It's spelled, um, like this (makes a 'z' shape)... and then like it sounds.
• Scanlan giving Pike a note, which he insists that she doesn't read until he's dead. As soon as Scanlan leaves, Pike reads the note.
  Liam: "Do you want to go steady? If yes, check this box."
• Scanlan's Zombie Grog impression.
  Vax: Maybe you don't say anything.
• The subject of Grog's father comes up for the first time since the very early pre-stream days of the campaign. Sam asks what his name was, and Travis doesn't answer, leaving Matt to reveal it: Stonejaw Strongjaw. Travis's face makes it clear that this particular piece of his character's backstory is an Old Shame.
  Laura: And he had an Intelligence of 4!
• Marisha and Taliesin's crow impressions; Taliesin's are amazing and Marisha tries to match it until Matt has to tell them to stop because everyone's trying not to laugh.
• Reuniting with Dr. Dranzel and Kaylie.
  Laura: Wait, why am I happy to see them? They stole from us!

Episode 51: Test of Pride

• Scanlan and Kaylie awkwardly working together to get Vox Machina's plan back on track. The scene is already funny in itself, but then you realize that it comes off a lot like a voiceover session with Matt being directed by Sam!
• When Dr. Dranzel rolls a Natural 20 on a strength check to open a grate so the refugees can escape through the sewers:
  Sam: Everyone can defeat doors except for us.
  Dranzel!Matt: And don't you forget it!
• This exchange...
  Grog: Vax, what's the best advice for fighting someone like me?
  Vax: Um...d-don't?
• Taliesin's comment about an NPC who rolled a natural 20 against Grog's natural 1 for intimidation, and was then summarily executed by the twins:
  Taliesin: He died as he lived: deeply unimpressed.
  • Taliesin's own reactions show that he is very impressed throughout the night.
• Black Comedy and Hilarity Ensues when Vex and Percy inflict a Curb-Stomp Battle on two eagles who attack them on the rooftops. Vex attacks one of them (with disadvantage) and Percy hits the other with two shots from Bad News (the second shot with disadvantage). Both eagles take enough damage to revert back to their original forms, fall over 100 feet and go splat.
• Vex has her own, uh...unique way of inspiring Grog for his fight against Kevdak.
  Grog: (gaping) ...I can't lose.
• Pike passes a stealth check!...the first time. The other three times she fails. Everyone laughs and Sam says "That's our girl!".
• Grog trashtalking his foes is an excellent example of goliath/barbarian social relations. Here's a sample of them:
  • "I tell you what, you make a choice: walk me to Kevdak or go check out ya little spook fest. [...] y'know, I think I saw somethin' run and hide in that pile of horse shit over there if ya wanna check that out."
  • (In response to how Zanror was beaten for "lying" about Grog being alive) "Ya shoulda beat the shit out of 'im for being a coward."
  • "I've also watched as dragons took the mighty Kevdak, wielder of the Titanstone Knuckles, and made him bend the knee. I was also wonderin'—do you also squat when you piss now?"

Episode 52: The Kill Box

• On Liam's Periscope account, he posted a video before the stream revealing that he and Travis were with Wil Wheaton (who had been with them for Tabletop Day), and plotted to get Wil into the room and touch Kevdak's figure, hoping that the "Wheaton Curse" would rub off on Kevdak. Given the events of the game, it worked.
  • In the same video, Wil begged nobody to die, explaining that every time somebody dies on the show, Critters blame him.
  • Near the beginning of the show, the gang began jokingly screaming Wheaton's name due to a number of bad rolls at the time.
• Matt describing Grog's cry of "Vox Machina! Fuck! Shit! Up!" last session as a "Shakespearean utterance". Liam quips that it's actually from Coriolanus.
  • Genius Bonus: Coriolanus is in fact about a man exiled from Rome who returns for vengeance with an army.
• More Wyrmwood pimping from Liam:
  Liam: We've come a long way to get here tonight, it's true we may die, and when our bones are turned to dust, carry them away in Wyrmwood gaming boxes - the finest wooden boxes for carrying the remains of the dead ever. Oh and you can put dice in them too!
• Sam attempts to inspire the entire party...by unbuttoning his shirt to reveal a custom-made t-shirt with himself in his "screaming lightning crotch" pose from the new opening super-imposed on the front. Everyone completely lost it. Taliesin was almost in tears.
  • And then it's revealed that said shirt also has part of Pike's face on the right arm.
• Scanlan mooning Kevdak as part of his Cutting Words ability. It only took one damage from his attack on Grog, but it had everyone in stitches. Matt seems unable to stop describing the sight of Scanlan's buttocks. Perhaps the best descriptor is "two round globes of victory".
• An enemy archer takes two shots at Percy. One hits him, but the other he grabs in one hand and snaps. He then proceeds to aim his gun at the archer. Matt acts out the archer looking very concerned and nervously reaching for a third arrow...
  Liam: That archer uses his Bonus Action to piss himself.
• When Kevdak's arm gets chopped off, Liam quips that he got "Tyriok'd". Marisha expresses sympathy for poor Tyriok but still finds this Actually Pretty Funny.
• Grog is attacked by six enemies in a single turn, prompting this gem from Liam:
  (brightly) Welcome to our production of Julius Caesar!
• When the battle is going south and it looks like characters might actually die, Sam completely breaks the tension with a well-timed plug for their new sponsors.
  • Similarly, an extremely stressed Travis asks if anyone has some recreational drugs they can take to calm down a bit. Taliesin replies that he has a "Scrooge McDuck-sized pit of Xanax" at home that he's going to dive into later.
• Travis is so excited to land the HDYWTDT on Kevdak that his grasp of language slips while describing it (although that basically means he just stayed in character).
  Grog: I say "For... STRONGJAW!!!" and I sink the ack right into his nex and part him perfectly down the middle!
  • Also, Liam, completely out of character, helpfully putting a capstone on Grog's glory by bellowing, "POETIC JUSTICE!"
• After the session is over, it turns out the crew filmed themselves taking the faulty motherboard that delayed Episode 51 by roughly an hour and destroying it utterly. In slow motion. A prop warhammer is involved.

Episode 53: At Dawn, We Plan!

• Keyleth, of all people, makes a joke about Theodore experiencing Resurrection Sickness. After Vex tells Theodore's mother that he is safe, sound, and "not even slightly dead", Keyleth advises the woman. "If he has any weird dreams, don't worry about it. Children, you know?"
• Vox Machina arrives at Pike's grandfather's house, only to find the door locked. Just as Vax is about to pick the lock, Matt reminds Pike that, naturally, she has the key to the house. Everyone cracks up, and suggests Vax should go for the lockpick anyway since "he needs this". Pike then blames all her clanking (and failed stealth checks) on said keys bouncing in her armor.
  • Even after unlocking the door, they find it's been barricaded with furniture. Just as Keyleth and Percy go to break down the door, Matt reminds them that there's a non-barricaded, unlocked window right next to it. They go for the door anyway. In short, the saga of Vox Machina and doors continues.
• Vox Machina meeting Pike's grandfather. Matt plays the part of the screwy old man very convincingly.
  • When greeting Percy (who's quite tall even for a human), Wilhand (an elderly gnome) pats him on the shoulder.
  Percy: That...took some doing, well done.
• Travis has some concerns after learning that Wilhand spent the past week hiding under the floorboards with a couple casks of moonshine.
  Travis: Is Wilhand drunk right now?
  Matt: He looks like he's...coping...with the last week's events.
• At dawn, we plan!
• Scanlan asking Wilhand for his blessing in proposing to Pike makes the cast erupt into highly entertaining reactions, especially from Ashley. Matt asks Sam to roll persuasion and even though Sam rolls a (non-natural) 20, Wilhand says "I'll consider it".
• Taliesin mistakes Zanror for Kevdak and covers by saying that all goliaths look the same, then quickly amends by saying that Grog has a beard and "the ability to kill me in my sleep". Grog's response? "I'm a unique little snowflake. I take no offense."
• Vax and Vex's superb use of tacky throw-pillows to detect and trigger the vicious death traps scattered about Master Quall's house.
• The twins are very salty and competitive toward each other as they stealth and investigate around Quall's house.
• Mercer had lots of fun this episode in a way that only a DM can: by constantly psyching the players out with fake saving throws. He does it no less than three times throughout the session.
• As Vox Machina enters Master Quall's house, Percy becomes absolutely enamored by the various death traps he has protecting the place.
  Percy: (as the staircase bursts into flames) I want to live here.
• Vox Machina find themselves a stone golem in Master Quall's basement. Finding the mechanism that controls it, they promptly decide to steal the golem and name it Fassbender. They then spend a good chunk of the episode figuring out what it can do; from giving the finger to Vax to punching Grog in the face.
  • When they first activate the golem and command it to walk forward, they forget the twins had tied rope around its legs earlier. The golem proceeds to immediately fall flat on its face.
  • The fact that they called it Fassbender leads to this exchange:
  Matt: (to Keyleth) Ok, so you want to do some exercises with Fassbender?
  Laura: Who doesn't!
• Percy's hilariously pouty over the party getting hold of a golem because he wanted to build a robot and now it's not cool.
  Percy: It's a thing I've been working on but apparently someone else has done it first so never mind. It's passé and stupid and I don't want to hear about it anymore.
  • Vax cheers him up by suggesting he build a little chair so Scanlan can ride around on the golem.
• The group finds out that Fassbender can cast spells when Keyleth tells it to target Percy with something. Percy gets hit with Slow and spends the rest of the scene moving and talking in slow motion.
  Vax: Talk your way outta this one!
  Scanlan: He's talking to a whale right now somewhere.
  Percy: (very slowly) Hate... You...
• Scanlan's Wacky Marriage Proposal and Pike's later initial response. The entire rest of the table collapses.
  Pike: I'm so confused! Maybe we should just sleep together and see what happens.
  Scanlan: Okay, fine. No, you said it! You said it!
  Pike: I'm just kidding, I'm just kidding, it was just a joke!
  Scanlan: You can't joke about that stuff with me!
  Pike: I know, I'm being careless! I think that drink that Wilhand gave me is settling, and it's—moving about. Making me say things.
  Scanlan: I don't even know what's going on right now!
  Pike: I'm just kidding! I don't actually think we should sleep together, I just need to tell you that I—
  Scanlan: Thank you for clarifying?!
  Pike: Anyway, Scanlan, I love you.
  Scanlan: This is not how I thought tonight was going to go! I feel betrayed, I feel let down, I feel so horny right now!
• After supposedly being glossed over last episode, Zanror reveals that the whole herd has been freaked out by Grog's beard.
• This little gem from Ashley.
  Ashley: I have advantage on Charismas.
• After she and Scanlan are insulted by River Maw leader Ivon for their tiny gnomish stature, Pike trips him on his way out the door and sarcastically attributes the incident to Ivon not seeing her because she's so small.
• After spending the entire episode joking about the silliness of Zanror proclaiming the herd would plan at dawn, the group ended up roleplaying a battle plan at the dawn war meeting.

Episode 54: In the Belly of the Beast

• When the show proper begins, the intro fails to play. The players then decide to re-enact it and nearly finish it just as the actual intro begins.
• Armor shenanigans between Scanlan and Vex. Scanlan does a strip tease with his armour before handing it over and Vex (after chasing Vax out) just throws hers at him.
• Grog provides comedy relief in the Iron Stocks prison:
  • When he walks in and see the ledger open on a table, he pretends to read it. Travis asks if Grog recognizes any of the squiggles and Matt say it is "pretty writing".
  • He finds a beggar in the first cell, who has dirty feet from a lack of shoes, and dubs the guy "Orn Blackfoot".
  • He finds Abjurist Noja in the second cell. This is someone who saved the group during their battle with their first white dragon, and so Travis exclaims, "I've found Boba Fett!"
  • He calls out if there are any more prisoners before he gives away his last dry ration. He quietly swears when two people respond. So he tells them to pick a number between 1 and 10 and, after they respond, confides in Noja that he doesn't know any numbers.
  • Grog's style of investigating for keys is ransacking the front office. He also tries wood splinters and forks in the locks before finding the keys.
• Vex quipping every time Vax and Keyleth talk. When he kisses Keyleth the night before the battle she yells out "Did you use your tongue?" and Keyleth whispers "She hears everything!"
• Scanlan and Grog loses track of Orn Blackfoot and the exchange is perfect.
  Scanlan: I thought you had him.
  Grog: I clearly said watch the guy with black feet, what did you do?
  Scanlan: I was watching you, you have disgusting black feet, you walk around barefoot. You're disgusting.
  Grog: I really can't argue with that.
• After burning through several Stone Shape spells embedding chains in Fassbender the Golem and the ground as part of their elaborate plan, Keyleth asks if she can use the remaining energy to make the charcoal "Pringles" mustache Vax drew on him into an actual, permanent part of his face. Matt finds the idea so hilarious he allows it.
• Grog decides to use himself as bait instead of Kevdak's head, and almost everyone disagrees with him. Grog stubbornly refuses to consider any other option...until Pike gives him a single disapproving look. Grog immediately backs down and sheepishly agrees to the plan.
• Vax and Keyleth both roll 10s for initiative, and Liam and Marisha try to put a positive spin on it.
  Liam: Big 10, which if you think about it, rounded is like 100!
  Marisha: Also big 10, which rounded twice is like 1000!
  Travis: Neither of those are true.
  Sam/Scanlan: Go make out again.
• Scanlan's Cutting Words against Umbrasyl's first tail attack against Grog, made even more funny by Sam's stuttering as he tries to figure out the insult on-the-fly:
  Scanlan: Uh...uh...hoi! You're...s-s-so ugly...you entered...an ugly contest and they said 'no professionals!'
• During the fight, Scanlan decides to look back into the trees to see if Vax and Keyleth are making out. Liam and Marisha immediately say they're not: Vax is close to peeing himself and Keyleth is hyperventilating.
• Vax'ildan drinking the Potion of Diminution, and it is a world of adorably silly.
• Everyone's exasperated reactions when Vex wonders if she should "waste" one of her Dragon Arrows on Umbrasyl. An Ancient Black Dragon. If there was ever a time...
  Vax: It's not a Kobold, lay into it!
• When Matt starts leafing through his monster manual during Umbrasyl's turn, Liam has some wishful thinking:
  Liam: (wimpy voice) If an Ancient Black Dragon takes one hit point of damage, it cowers and dies.
• When Matt dramatically reveals Umbrasyl's full title, "the Hope Devourer", Sam diffuses the tension by insinuating "The Hope" must be his middle name. Travis comes in with this:
  Travis: He used to be "Umbrasyl The Hope", and then marriage fucked everything up. (entire table cracks up)
• Liam and Laura ask if they get sneak attack from Scanlan and Vax being inside Umbrasyl, and thus within 5 feet. Matt rules that they can't, because the pair are close to "heartburn" than the harrying threat that is required for sneak attack.
  Matt: You don't sneak attack someone from eating bad pasta.
• Matt's look of absolute horror◊ as Scanlan declares he's going to use a sixth-level Thunderwave from inside Umbrasyl's stomach.
• Laura trying to invoke her own "HDYWTDT" midway through the battle.
• Laura is so stressed by the battle that she starts wearing the PHB as a hat.

Episode 55: Umbrasyl

• Scanlan has a lot of funny moments this episode.
  • Scanlan polymorphs into a snake so he can try to slither out of Umbrasyl's acid-filled stomach. It fails spectacularly.
  • Scanlan "fisting" Umbrasyl with Bigsby's Hand.
  • Everyone's reaction to learning that Scanlan polymorphing Grog into a giant eagle made Grog smarter.
• Taliesin realizes that Percy lost Hex on Umbrasyl and hisses at Matt in irritation.
• Matt's reaction to Vax revealing that he got a total of 45 on stealth (Natural 20 + his bonus of 15 + Vex's Pass Without a Trace):
  Matt: You stealthed through time. People who had seen you in your past now have no recollection of ever actually seeing you.
• The girls all smudge soot on their faces to look like warpaint before entering Umbrasyl's lair. Percy absolutely refuses to participate, so Vex draws a line of soot down his nose.
  Percy: ...I feel violated.
• Shale's response to Grog's incredulity towards her staff not having a name.
  Shale: Only men name their things.
• Shale calling Umbrasyl a "flying suitcase."
• Matt accidentally calling Laura "Vax." It happens more than once.
  Matt: I have a lot to focus on. Shut up.
  Sam: When I die, I'm going to come back as a character named Vix.
  Matt: Then you can find another Dungeon Master.
  • And then later on, after Matt very specifically notes Umbrasyl attacks Vex...
  Liam: That's Vix.
  Matt: (Cheerfully) I will STAB you.
• Pike casts a Guiding Bolt up Umbrasyl's butt and rolls a Natural 20. Matt ends up describing how it feels about having divine magic go up its posterior and it is hilarious.
  Ashley: (singing) I'm gonna Guiding Bolt him right up the butt~!
• Scanlan attempts to use a Bardic Inspiration on Shale by telling her how attracted he is to her, asking her if she will hold him in her arm. Chris Perkins waits for a precise pause in the conversation before Shale dryly asks Scanlan if he's ever had sex before.
• Black Comedy ensues when Shale says it's a shame she didn't get to die a glorious death against the dragon.
  Sam: Shale jumps in one of the acid pits.
• Travis's happy dance when Chris/Shale explains the power of the dragon tooth necklace and gives it to him/Grog.
  Travis: I thought it was bullshit but it's not!
• Once again a prime romantic moment is ruined: Keyleth rushes to Vax after the battle, grabs him...and is promptly reminded by the other players that he's still tiny. Vax asks if it can wait til later, and Taliesin snarks that he "has business with the Lollipop Guild".

Episode 56: Hope

• During the announcements, which include the second Loot Crate sponsorship and which of the cast will be at San Diego Comic-Con, Travis states that he has an egg on his pizza. Then he shows it to the camera, and says "don't question it." Matt isn't sure what to say.
• The cannonball contest, and everyone's increasingly ridiculous strategies. Percy (who didn't want to participate until it was framed as a dare) jumps into the water with a kettle full of raw sodium, takes 23 points of damage from shrapnel, and wins!
  Taliesin: Do not do this. You will die.
  • Ashley describes it as the "Total Party Kill cannonball".
• Grog figuring out what the jug that they found in Umbrasyl's treasure hoard does. He starts by putting it over his head. Turns out it creates what you ask for within the jug, like beer... and mayonnaise.
  Vex'ahlia: So do you have a jug of mayonnaise, now?
  Grog: No, I ate that too.
  (Everyone loses it.)
• Pike spends the entirety of the hot spring portion of the episode, including the cannonball contest, completely naked save for her magical gauntlets. Already the fanart that this and Grog's mayonnaise misadventure has produced is hysterical.
• Vax trying to get his Boots of Haste back from Vex involves sneaking into her room and dousing her with water. It also involves spirit servants that Scanlan ordered to guard Vex's feet.
• A Brick Joke from back in Episode 54 lands when Matt reveals that somebody in Westruun triggered Pike's explosive runes arcane trap (inside a treasure chest meant for Umbrasyl). Turns out it was Orn Blackfoot, the Dirty Coward petty thief that Grog freed from prison. The party's concern immediately gives way to Comedic Sociopathy.
  Travis: Yes! Fuck that guy!
• The group find a Tome of Leadership and Influence in Umbrasyl's lair, which permanently increases the Charisma of its reader, before losing its power for a century. While debating whether Scanlan or Keyleth should use it, Scanlan points out that Keyleth, being as long-lived as she is, would technically be able to have the next use of it. Percy then offers to give her a Tome of Swiftness that he'd used previously, telling her she'll be able to use it in 99 years.
  • Vex later fails to form complete sentences when talking to guest character Kerrek (dice were not involved). She then demands the book of charisma from Scanlan.
• This exchange with Kerrek:
  Grog: Ker, are you an honest man?
  Kerrek: I’ve been called that, yes.
  Scanlan: [Immediately] I insight check him!
• At the end of Keyleth's talk with Kerrerk, both Sam and Taliesin launch into Black Comedy by joking that Kerrerk is going to stab Keyleth in the back and say "the Chroma Conclave sends its regards".
• Percy saying, "The terrible woman may have a point." Then he gets all disdainful about "new money" versus the "properly titled". It's so snobby and great.
  • Earlier, when the group is discussing Westruun's future, he admits to being a "vain dragon".
• Scanlan drinks the last of his blue poop scrying potion and then says "I poop out a little loaf." Matt wordlessly drops his head lower to the table than it's ever been.
  • Scanlan puts the potion in the secret compartment he had forged into the hilt of a sword. Taliesin immediately suggests naming the sword "Number Two".
• Keyleth pulling Vax aside, prompting Travis to say "Oh god" which Liam replies to with "We spent two hours killing a goliath; hold tight buddy!" while Scanlan jokingly pulls Kerrek aside, Vex pulls Grog aside, and Percy walks away.
  Liam: Catchphrase! Catchphrase! Meme!

Episode 57: Duskmeadow

• Once again, Victor makes an appearance. It also appears he made a few more... "mistakes".
  • Victor has a rather disquieting fascination with the pickaxe-hand that Percy crafts for him.
• Vax riding Trinket who reluctantly lets it happen at Vex's request.
• Scanlan and Grog's visit to the hat store, where they meet Deirdre, an NPC who almost matches Gilmore for sheer flamboyance.
  • Hoping to get a discount, Scanlan lies to Deirdre by saying that Grog is his brother and their mother only gave them 50 gold. He has to make a deception check at disadvantage, and he critical fails. Some lies are just too outlandish, even for a magnificent liar like Scanlan.
  • Pike trying on Grog's hat to comedic effect. It's also adorable.
• Matt asks for History Checks from Pike and Keyleth, regarding an island of glass. Keyleth rolls a Natural 1.
  Matt: You barely know what glass is right now.
  Keyleth: Guys, water isn't glass, that's stoopid!
• Keyleth casts Speak With Plants to communicate with the Sun Tree. How does Matt voice an ancient, holy, innately magical tree? With a laid-back, stoned drawl, sounding not unlike Matthew McConaughey.
• Taliesin's explanation for why so many of the show's Cliffhangers involve Vax.
  Taliesin: He runs into the rooms first, and he puts his tongue in exciting places. ... I'm not shouting at you! I'm envious!

Episode 58: A Cycle of Vengeance

• Percy hits the Assassin Pike used Guiding Bolt on, then goes for his second attack and asks if this one also has advantage (it doesn't). Before Matt can finish, Taliesin chimes in with a surprising amount of sass: "It's okay, I rolled really well anyway." The others are amused, Matt isn't.
  Matt: The Dungeon Master will remember that.
  • And the sass continues shortly thereafter:
    Taliesin: Fuck it, let’s burn an Action Surge. This’ll be funny.
• When Hotis considers casting a spell, Matt leafs through the Monster Manual looking very deep in thought, leaving the players worried.
  Sam: [Cheerfully] How many people will die instantly?
• Scanlan casts Bigby's Hand, only to find it doesn't affect the Rakshasa. So he uses the hand to flip him off, "the British way".
• After the above, Scanlan then tries to cast another spell, singing "I hate Rakshasa" to the tune of "I Love Rock And Roll". Hotis No Sells this too. As Sam is unsure what to do with his Bonus Action afterwards...
  Liam/Vax: Hey I'm in a lot of pain.
  Scanlan: Oh, that guy.
• During the big assassin fight, Vax is wearing the fancy robe and everyone else is in whatever they sleep in plus whatever they could grab as they woke up. Among other things, this means Percy's butt-flap pyjamas are back (turns out he keeps a gun under his pillow because of course he does) and Pike is wielding her mace and shield in the nude.
  • Defying expectations, Grog is fully dressed and battle-ready. “Only in the house of lady favors do I let my beans hang out when I sleep.”
• Liam declares on one of his turns "I'm gonna grapple that dick!" Cue the others snickering over his wording.]
• Keyleth arrives on the scene to see Vax fighting the Rakshasa. She yells to him: "Is that Hotis?!" On Vex's turn, she yells back: "What's a Hotis?" (She wasn't around when they first fought him)
• The look of surprise on Ashley's face when Matt gives her the Finish Him! cue. The look is equal parts adorable and hilarious.
• While Pike's HDYWTDD is awesome, Scanlan's reaction afterwards breaks the tension. (Remember, Pike was naked at the time)
  Scanlan: I think I understand. You have to be naked to cast spells on it! Is that how it works?
• Keyleth runs into Gilmore's house polymorphed into a mouse. Realizing he's okay, she drops the spell, suddenly bamfing back into Keyleth in front of him. Right after he'd been jumped by an assassin.
  Gilmore: This is not the night to be doing that to me!
  Keyleth: [Very not calm] I KNOW I KNOW!
  Gilmore: [Catches his breath] ...I need a drink.
• With Vax having successfully taken off the "gift" from "Gilmore" - a Robe of Flaying enchanted to slowly peel off the wearer's skin if one tries to take it off - and therefore being entirely naked, Gilmore wastes absolutely no time in Eating the Eye Candy when he teleports in to make sure the group is all right.
  Gilmore: Oh. I didn't realize it was my birthday.
  • Also everyone's very in-character reactions to the description of what the Robe of Flaying actually does.
  Pike: Yikes.
  Vex: Gross.
  Grog: Awesome!
• During Pike and Keyleth's talk, someone off-screen drops a bunch of stuff. Keyleth thinks it's more assassins, but Matt quickly ad-libs a boy putting fruit back into his wheelbarrow and apologizing for disturbing them.
  Marisha: My cabbages!
  • Scanlan comes out to say goodbye to Pike and references the terrified boy. Keyleth also thinks he is an assassin.
• Vex flipping out when she learns Vax can fly - and then she learns it's once-per-day.
  Vex: Oh. I'm glad I didn't push you off the cliff.
  Gilmore: That would have been really funny.
• Scanlan gives Vex a hat that he bought the previous episode on the condition she wear it while she rides the broom. It is, of course, a black witch's hat.
  • Vex's broom antics in the bar, leading to a brawl.

Episode 59: Into the Feywild

• Keyleth being Keyleth as she reacts to how pretty the Feywild is.
• Matt engaging in more DM trolling when Keyleth touches a vine.
  Matt: As you reach out and touch it with your finger, I need you to go ahead and do nothing because it's fine.
• Percy gets blinded by a nymph by rolling a Nat 1 on a Constitution saving throw.

  Grog: How many fingers am I holding up?

  Percy: ...One.

  • To elaborate, Taliesin was looking forward, imitating Percy's blindness, when Grog decided to test if Percy was truly unable to see. Without looking at Travis, Taliesin was able to correctly guess that Grog/Travis was indeed displaying one finger.
• Scanlan Playing Cyrano to help Grog coax out the nymph. See it here in animated form.
• Matt is mildly exasperated that the players have all forgotten the nymph's name (Nahla) and that all of them met her instead of just Grog, leading Sam to snark "Of course we remember that thing that happened when we were drunk two and a half years ago".
• Keyleth and Vax take advantage of Percy's blindness and give him wet willies, which he tries to fight off. Even better, Percy manages to keep Keyleth from getting him the first time by catching her hand with his gloves of missile snaring, even though he can't actually see her moving her wet finger towards his ear.
  • Scanlan tells the party to let Pike heal Percy's Blindspot and everyone starts laughing or facepalming while Travis applauds.
• Keyleth teaching Vex Speak With Animals eventually results in Keyleth walking around doing a bear impression. (She thinks it helps to "embody" the animal you're speaking with, to get into its mindset) Leading to this:
  Scanlan: I wish Nahla had cast Blindness on me.
• Travis playing with his Super Saiyan figure.
• Garmelie, The satyr, has a book of cartoonish caricatures, as well as the piece he makes of the entire party, ranging from Grog having a very small head with a huge body to Pike looking like a goofy monster to Percy pointing his guns to his head to a manic and crazy-eyed Keyleth hugging a tree to the twins making out to Scanlan looking normal. The group's reactions are equally funny.
• At one point while talking to Garmelie, Matt gets up to whisper to Taliesin; as he starts to leave, Sam and Marisha pretend to have been listening in, and Sam declares that Matt just said the C-word, the F-word, and the G-word.
• Garmelie tells the group to avoid certain things on their walk to the Shademurk bog. One of those things is, without context or further explanation, the theatre. Just avoid the theatre.
• Pike playing the satyr's ocarina. Not breaking eye contact the entire time.
• In a meta sense, Allura's warning to the team went along the lines of "Don't touch anything, and trust no one." As was snarkily pointed out, within forty-five minutes of receiving this warning in the story, Vox Machina touched everything, caused Percy to be blinded by a nymph, and they made a deal with the literal second person they met.

Episode 60: Heredity and Hats (LIVE)

• Very early on in the episode, Matt mentions there are "sigils" on a gate—and then looks directly into the camera for a few seconds as if daring the audience to laugh about it.
• Grog mishears Keyleth's greeting of "good day" as "bidet" and shouts it at pretty much anybody they come across.
• The sequence of events that leads Syldor's wife to addressing Percy as "Coffee Table".
• After naming Vex a Baroness, Percy throws major shade at her father.
  Percy: So, good sir, despite your relationship with her, do watch your manners.
  (the crowd is shocked at Percy's utter gall)
  Scanlan: Tea Spit Take!
• Vox Machina teaching the twins' little sister some new curse words, including "blue, sparkly poo". Even Syldor thinks it's Actually Pretty Funny.
• Percy giving Vex her title is extremely sweet. Later on, it's hilarious, as Vex gets a little power-drunk and starts bossing guards around.
  Vex: As a Baroness I'm used to getting food when I want it!
  (later)
  Vex'ahlia: Is [the first guard] back from getting us food? Oh, oh! I hope he's not, because I'm going to send a second one off on another errand!
  Scanlan: Because you're a lady?
  Vex: Because I'm a Baroness.
  Percy: I have made such a terrible mistake.
• Vax describing his father as "a traveling salesman who sells politics".
  • Earlier, whilst discussing their father's role in Syngorn politics.
  Percy: We should probably have a conversation with whoever's in charge. Is your father in charge?
  Vax: No.
  Vex: Ish.
  Percy: "Ish".
  Vax: He's a bureaucrat.
  Percy: Excellent.
  [audience laughter]
  Travis: [corpsing hard] HA!
• Keyleth and Vex look like they're about to get into an argument, only to end up having a friendly agreement. Grog is disappointed.
  Keyleth: I'm not trying to talk shit about your family.
  Vex: Feel free!
  Grog: You all should totally fight right now! Just fight in the room while we're all here and take off your clothes. Only way to solve it!
• This exchange between Percy and Keyleth.
  Percy: That's a very dark and disturbing thought. I'm impressed.
  Keyleth: [Cheerfully] Thank you! I've been learning from you!
• As Vex flaunts her new title in front of some guards, Keyleth uses her Druidcraft to create Dramatic Wind behind her. Travis decides to simulate the effect by physically blowing Laura's hair from behind.
• One player using a prop buckle to stand in for an object only for another player to unnecessarily point out it is, in fact, a belt buckle.
• Garmelie wants Vox Machina to steal some things for him. One of these things is a hat, which belongs to one of the most important elves in the city. Scanlan manages to convince her that he's a fan of elven haberdashery, and the caper to steal the hat only gets more hilarious from there. As an added Funny Background Event, when Scanlan mentions his hat obsession, all of the members of Vox Machina start putting on their various hats.
• One part of the hat theft includes Vex pretending to trip over a marble and yank over a suit of armor to distract the guards. Keyleth plays the "Do you know who this is?!" card.
  Keyleth: That is Lady Vex'ahlia, the Baroness of Whitestone!
  Percy: (talking under Keyleth) Third House of Whitest— Okay...
  Keyleth: I could sue you! I could sue you for negligence! (...) You will get a letter from me, good sir. You will get a letter, okay?
  Guard/Matt: This was— look, I apologize if your friend is clumsy, but this wasn't part of our job description, okay, it's been a very busy—
  Keyleth: Your five-star review just went to a four, okay?!
  • As this whole exchange happens, Taliesin struggles to get Marisha's attention, most likely miming Percy trying to get Keyleth to not lay on the act so thick.
  • Hilarious in Hindsight is that Keyleth is only a few years off - Vex would eventually become Lady Vex'ahlia de Rolo, Baroness of the First House of Whitestone (and technically Baroness of Whitestone proper).
• "You reach in and you pull out a potato."
• Annoyed by the guards tailing them everywhere, Vox Machina collectively does their best to give those guards the worst (and possibly weirdest) day on the job they've ever had.
• The guards ask Vox Machina why they're all going into a bedroom together (it's so they can discuss some plans in secret). Vex tries to claim that the group is going for a nap and fails. Scanlan claims to the guards that they're going to have an orgy and succeeds. Vax immediately plays along, dragging Grog away by the collar and saying "come on, big guy, I'm tense". Keyleth doesn't understand what "polyamory" is and mixes it up with "polymorph," so she turns Percy and Vax into squirrels before they go into the bedroom.
  Scanlan: (to the guards) We may need you to clean up afterwards.
  Guards: Please! Go! Sleep!
  • Once their "orgy" is over, Vax comes out of the room stretching and thanking Grog, saying he feels "loose as a goose". Keyleth walks out beast shaped into an actual goose. The guards are horrified.
  • The entire orgy is also hilarious in a meta sense—this episode came out the same week that fanfic writers and fanartists on tumblr were running a "rarepair week". ^*Basically a week's worth of fan content creation for unpopular or unorthodox ships. They felt like they wanted to thank the cast for contributing.
• Percy and Keyleth using a case of Exact Words to screw Garmelie out of his deal. The satyr wants a piece of a Threshold Crest, which are powerful sigils that Syngorn uses to travel to the Feywild. Percy has Keyleth stone shape a Whitestone Crest out of some stone near the door—the "threshold"—breaks it, and gives him a piece. The best part of this is that it works.
• Shortly thereafter, Garmelie tugs on Grog's finger to try to get them out to the Feywild. Travis translates that as "pull my finger", so Grog promptly farts.
• 2 hours and 19 minutes in, Keyleth pisses off some magical grass in the Feywild. Percy gives it a very flowery apology and some lovely compliments.
  Percy: ...I'm flirting with grass.
  • The fact that it was Keyleth, a druid and thus someone with a very close connection to nature, that managed to piss off a field of grass, is hilarious in itself. Equally funny is that it's the team's fighter who favors engineering and chemistry who manages to placate it, turning Keyleth and Percy's Mother Nature, Father Science dynamic on its head.
  • To date, Percy has conquered doors and now grass.
  • Even though they avoided the encounter, Sam still proposes a possible Pre-Mortem One-Liner:
  Sam: How do you want to mow this?

Episode 61: Denizens of the Moonbrush

• Grog and Scanlan's decision to run off to investigate the spirit bear's cave is met with some very half-hearted protest.
  Percy: (deadpan) No, don't. Stop. Please don't do it. Please, whatever you do, don't do it, my god, please.
  • Blink and you'll miss it, but Percy actually fails his insight roll when Grog and Scanlan come out of the cave pretending that they've been attacked by bears, meaning he believes the whole story.
  Scanlan: A bear had me in between its jaws and Grog cut it ass to lips to get me out!
  Percy: (in awe) It's only been sixty seconds...
• It takes all of thirty seconds for Keyleth and Percy to start betting on whether Grog and Scanlan will make it out of the aforementioned cave alive, and continues when Vax, Vex, and Scanlan go to investigate the camp of Soruden the Happy.
• When Scanlan gets charmed into dancing along to a set of magical instruments, Sam himself dances the whole time he's under the charm's effect.
  • Similarly, when Grog gets petrified, Travis holds the same position for a good seven and a half minutes straight.
• After spending part of the last two episodes figuring out how to use Scanlan's innate Countercharm ability, Sam finally has an opportunity at the Happy Campsite. It turns out to just give advantage on saving throws against Charm. After he, the twins and Grog make it out of the campsite, he asks if it helped at all. Turns out Vex would have been Charmed if it weren't for the Advantage...but then Laura remembers Half-Elves have Advantage against Charm anyway, making the whole thing pointless.
• Percy doesn't tolerate anyone interrupting his beauty sleep. Not even pixies.
  Taliesin: I pull out a piece of parchment and write "Hello fairies. We are napping," stick it on the tree, and go back to sleep.
• Keyleth goes for a Sunbeam against the Pixies, but the head Pixie Counterspells it. Marisha is annoyed at wasting a 6th level spell, but there's hope: Matt remembers Vax's poison means the head Pixie has disadvantage on ability checks, so he re-rolls. The re-roll is a Natural 20.
• Matt's growing disbelief, shock, and frustration regarding the party collectively rolling a combined total of 14 Natural 20s.
• Scanlan tries to sell Blatant Lies to Lord Ukurat, and Sam rolls a Deception check of 30 with disadvantage. Matt sarcastically asks if Sam wants to add Bardic Inspiration to that, or he feels safe enough without it.
• After generally being somber and even disgusted with themselves at being an accessory to the massacre of the Wisher Pixie village, they eagerly loot its ruins. Why do they do this? Because Percy has a doll house, and he wants to stock it.

Episode 62: Uninviting Waters (LIVE)

• Marisha's three Natural 1s and a Natural 2 on a new expensive opal die she'd bought earlier in the day. After using the new d20 and getting three 1s in a row, she switched to a different die, but decided to tempt fate with the new die one more time. After rolling a Nat 2, Laura came over to the table and took the die away, refusing to let Marisha use it again during the session.
  • Taliesin and Sam's expressions every time a bad roll came up pretty much summed up the whole affair.
  • After the second Nat 1, Taliesin first gives the die the finger, then picks it up and gives it a talking to. He then proceeds to roll it. Judging from Marisha's reaction, at the very least it was a high roll, if not a Nat 20.
  Marisha: You-you...you PERCY! Don't touch my dice, Percy!
• Everyone continues to torment Garmelie. Especially Scanlan punting him across 5 rivers with Bigby's Hand, causing him to take over 20 points of damage. Matt describes Garmelie giving a thumbs up from the other side... that slowly transitions into a middle finger.
• During VM's plan to tie a rope to the Immovable Rod, Scanlan asks Pike if she knows any sailor's knots from her time at sea, which she naturally does. Sam takes this opportunity to troll Ashley by asking her to name one of them. The best she can come up with is "the swirly-whirly".
• When the Monster of the Week grabs and then swallows Grog, it takes a while for the party to realize that they're all tied to the same rope, and what it means.
• Marisha's understated reaction to the plant-crocodile clamping its jaws around Grog and making its presence known.
  Marisha: Oh god, we're in Florida.
• Keyleth scolds a giant magical plant-crocodile thing for eating two of her team-mates.
  Keyleth: You don't know where that's been! And trust me, I do.
• Grog makes himself huge and tosses each member of the party across the river one by one in various ways "in the spirit of the Olympics".
  • Pike gets tossed on a Natural 20 and lands in a tree, laughing hysterically.
  • Vax flat-out refuses and jumps across after Grog suggests skipping him across the river. He nearly falls into the river as a result.
  Grog: That's what you get, stupid.
  • Percy gets granny-tossed across the river. He shoulder-rolls to land and ends up covered in the tar from the Shademurk. He calls it another layer of shame added to the crocodile bile he's already covered in.
  • After a very successful tossing of Vex'ahlia, Keyleth gets long-snapped across the river. She doesn't land so gracefully, faceplanting in the muck.
  Matt: Your nostrils are filled with it, you can't open your eyes. It tastes kind of like IHOP.
  • Finally, Garmelie tries to back away, but he gets snatched up by Grog and they jump across together.
  Grog: We're going for a ride, bitch.

  • When they land, Garmelie is clinging to Grog's forearm sloth-style in fright. Travis acts out several attempts at Grog shaking him off (even sniffing at his hand) before Matt clarifies that Garmelie's head is at Grog's elbow and his satyr butt is sticking in the air.
• The Saga of Laura Bailey and Flying Objects continues. Laura threatened to kill her husband, Travis, in front of several thousand people, because he convinced Sam and Ashley to take her beloved broom to investigate a suspicious tree in the bog without her - and when they return, the broom appears to have stopped working. Vex showed far more concern over the safety of her broom than her friends, hugging it closely, terrified it might have been disenchanted like the flying carpet before it. Each time Matt would insinuate something horrible, Laura would look at Travis, who seemed in legitimate fear for his life, and Ashley actually motioned for him to flee while Laura was looking away, which he did. Once Matt stopped trolling everyone and revealed that the broom was fine, Travis rushed back to his seat, and Laura thanked Matt for saving their marriage.
  • The look on Travis's face when Matt mentions the broom slowing down is priceless, fingers scratching at his cheeks, a look of pure fear on his face. Laura is apparently a force to reckoned with where her broom is concerned.
    • Not to mention the look on Marisha's, who immediately does a double take before staring at Matt with her jaw dropped and an expression of pure dread across her face.
  • A highlight is Taliesin's reaction to the threat: because she made it in front of so many people it's really more of a promise. Several people in the audience immediately call out that they heard 'nothing'.
  • Speaking of Taliesin, he apparently figured what was going to happen before everyone else: when Scanlan and Pike come back to the party, Taliesin can be seen whispering, trying to suggest Travis to go away before they can mention that the broom suddenly stopped flying.

Episode 63: The Echo Tree

• Grog rolls a nat 20 on a 'disappointment' check. Needless to say, he was pretty disappointed.
• Grogs decision to go to the kitchen to activate the Titanstone Knuckles. This culminates with him breaking everything in there with the servants trying to coop things up with their hands.
  Scanlan: Grog, what are you doing? This is our kitchen and we need to eat dinner here!
  Grog: I'm trying to activate these, and they require pain! (Grog yells and proceeds to pummel a black cauldron)
• Percy tries to explain his theory about the tree with the phrase "Life needs things to live", and Sam doesn't let him forget it for the rest of the session.
  Scanlan: Guys. Life needs things to live—
  Percy: I had not had my coffee, I was tired, there was no bacon—
  Scanlan: And we are those things. I think we've all learned a lot today.
  Vex: We've learned so much.
  Percy: I hate you so much.
• After Saundor knocks Vex unconscious, Scanlan picks her back up with a Spice Girls song parody.
  Vex: (jerking her head up excitedly) Spice Girls?
• Grog spends the entire fight falling off things and failing to hit Saundor...and then he gets the HDYWTDT. Nobody is more surprised about this than Travis.
• Taliesin/Percy is deeply unimpressed with Saundor pulling a "Not So Different" Remark on Vex, to the point where after the battle Percy and Keyleth both pull faces and mock the fey's words to cheer Vex up.
  Percy: "We're a lot alike, you and I...blaaaaagh..." What an arsehole, Jesus.
  Keyleth: "You dragged your friends to their doom!"
• Garmelie reveals himself to be an extremely powerful creature named Artagan, possibly an Archfey, and Scanlan and Keyleth both try to cast spells on him to hold him. Matt bursts out laughing immediately.
  Liam: He's a deity.
  • And Scanlan's spell actually works.
• Keyleth, after seeing Artagan reveal himself, says this little gem.
  Keyleth: You know, for someone who hates the theatre, you've made quite a show of all of this.

Episode 64: The Frigid Doom

• Sam botches the ad read in the beginning of the episode.
  Sam: Goodbye, LootCrate!
• Vex'ahlia/Laura tries to convince Percy that he gave her a title of nobility, but unfortunate circumstances make it a bit harder for her.
  Keyleth: You titled Vex'ahlia.
  Percy: (confused) I did what?
  Laura: OH NO!
  Scanlan: You gave Vex'ahlia a title in your Whitestone kingdom. She was the Duchess of some hut.
  Percy: Can someone who can't successfully lie to me, please explain to me...
  Vex'ahlia: Baroness. Lady Vex'ahlia, Baroness of the Third House of Whitestone, Grand Mistress of the Grey Hunt?
  Percy: How do you know about the Grey Hunt?!
  Vex'ahlia: I don't know anything about the Grey Hunt, but it's written down on a piece of paper you gave me, Percy.
  Percy: Is it written down on a piece of paper?
  Keyleth: It is written on a piece of paper.
  Vex'ahlia: ...That I accidentally threw out, while I was fixing my notes. (The group cracks up.)
  • Taliesin's choking laughter completely sells this exchange.
  • Later on, Scanlan uses Modify Memory on Percy to fill in (read: completely make up) the memory of him giving the title to Vex. He decides that the memory is him giving the title to Vex in embarassment after she caught him being massaged by several naked nymphs to ensure she keeps it a secret. He then has Percy misspell it as "Grey Hut" for good measure.
  • Percy is extremely reluctant (and rightfully suspicious) of Scanlan’s offer to help him remember.
    Scanlan: I can help you remember, Percy. Just look into my eyes.
    Percy: I don’t want to.
    Scanlan: Look into my eyes.
    Percy: I don’t want t-
    (the spell takes effect mid-sentence. Taliesin and Sam stare at each other, then both lean in close as if they are about to kiss, but eventually break apart to the cast’s laughter.)
    Taliesin: Well, that’s getting giffed.
    • It should be noted that while Percy and the other players are less than amused at this turn of events, Taliesin is clearly loving every moment of it, and actively encourages Sam to fuck Percy's shit up.
  • Liam encouraging Sam to do his worst:
    Liam: He gave crystal meth to Grog.
    Taliesin: (offended) The best crystal meth! The finest crystal meth in Christendom!
  • When prepping the spell, Sam asks for Vex's full title so he can write it down to say right in the spell, and Taliesin passes him the piece of paper they were using as a prop. The piece of paper that was just ripped out of Laura's folder and is completely blank.
  • Poor Percy’s freak out after he emerges from the spell also counts.
    Percy: Oh my. Wait, that was—we were—but there was—you shouldn't—no! Yes! I did do this. Yes.
  • Pike uses Greater Restoration to restore their memories. Scanlan nervously realizes that his Modify Memory will be nullified and discovered.
    Scanlan: I hope you know I was only trying to improve your life with a wonderful, happy memory. And it was...mostly true?
    Percy: (hugs Scanlan) I know where you sleep. People work for me.
    • Sam's worried expression as this is being said really sells it.
• The gang seemingly notices for the first time the obvious pun of Asum's name, and they just won't shut up about it. First they come up with ways to work the word "assume" into conversation as often as possible ("We should Seeker Asum that it happened), shooting him a smug grin every time, then after that every time the word happens to come up they turn to him and apologize. His reactions range from the jovial Never Heard That One Before to having flashbacks to childhood, to remarking that at least his name isn't Purvan. He starts to lose his cool when Scanlan apologizes to him after saying the word "asshole".
  Matthew: His scarred eye twitches.
  Keyleth: (stifling laughter) And we wonder why people hate us!
  • Later, they immediately start going after the name of new character Tooma ("It is not a tooma!") before the character even appears, admitting that they really ought to stop making fun of Matt's character names.
  Taliesin: I think he assumed we would.
  Matthew: Just adding fuel to the fire...
• Taliesin rolls two natural 20 perception checks in a row and swears it's not with his lucky die. Matt replies that they know it's not the dice; Taliesin just gained the favor of an Aztec diety who wants to reclaim their spot in the modern pantheon.
  Taliesin: Sumerian, you asshole.
  Matt: It would be Sumerian.
  Taliesin: I'm bringing a shrine to Burning Man, by the way.
• Scanlan's confession of why he can no longer scry via poo had everyone both disgusted and in stitches.
  Scanlan: I used my last magic poo to look at my daughter.
  Percy: Ew!
  Vax: What a sentence!
• While Matt is whispering in Laura's ear for the second time, Travis walks over to the other table's camera and uses perspective to squish Sam and Taliesin with his fingers. When he gets to Marisha, she flips him off.
• Scanlan's suggestion of doing Vorugal's voice and shouting "THORDAK YOU ARE A COCK!" until Vex points out he can't speak Draconic.

Episode 65: The Streets of Ank'Harel

• The offscreen running gag of saying something weird in an effort to make Matt laugh at the start of the stream actually gets caught on camera this time, leading to the very first word heard in the episode being "Pissblossom".
• Sam's epic plug for Loot Crate involving hardcore facts and statistics.
• Vax and Keyleth finally become lovers. How do they celebrate? A high-five! And after a tackle-hug onto Vax's bed, a "pan to the fireplace".
  • Even funnier is everyone's reactions to Keyleth's confession, ranging from mild surprise to trying so hard not to giggle or laugh.
• It turns out Kashaw has been trying to train Whitestone citizens in how to use a spear and shield effectively since he uses them and it's not going well. While he's quickly preoccupied, Scanlan tries to convince the citizens to attack Grog as part of their training (Sam rolling 34 for Persuasion) and all of the citizens are terrified as they slowly approach.
  • What's also hilarious is Kashaw's reaction to this:
  Kashaw: (to the recruits) The gnome's fucking with you, it's fine! (to Scanlan) That was pretty funny.
• The whole above situation started when Vax noticed Grog was getting bored, so he attacked him. After the recruit situation is defused, Grog, still in Enlarged mode, kicks Vax like a soccer ball. Even using Luck, Grog still hits and sends him flying. Grog immediately checks to see if the Titanstone Knuckles have powered-up "because [he] kicked [his] friend in the face." He only rolls an 8 on Investigation.
• Speaking of Kashaw, his rather awkward moment with Keyleth near the Sun Tree. Marisha and the rest of the party can't keep a straight face, especially considering it's Matt who is playing Kashaw in the scene. What makes it funnier is that this was the day after Keyleth had confessed to Vax, and this moment was very embarrassing for her.
  Marisha: (cracking up) Fuck you. I hate you so much.
  • Not to mention Keyleth pushing Kashaw through the Sun Tree into Vasselheim while he was still talking.
• After showing up in Gilmore's childhood home, Percy tries to activate a carpet.
  Matt: How do you will the carpet?
  Taliesin/Percy: I do believe in fairies, I do believe in fairies, I know they exist, I've killed several of them.
• After leaving Gilmore's parents:
  Liam/Vax: Well, they were a couple of sweethearts.
  Sam/Scanlan: They were adorable. They're both over 70, so who's going to kill them? (Matt almost does a Spit Take)
• As the party prepares to Wind Walk from Gilmore's parents' home to Ank'Harel, it occurs to them to wonder whether turning into mist in the desert climate would make them evaporate. Matt refuses to tell them whether this is possible (it isn't) and then points out that this would be the "saddest TPK ever": the members of Vox Machina, preparing for another step on their journey to gather the Vestiges of Divergence and defeat the Chroma Conclave, disappear into the clouds and are never seen again.
• "If you can't kill the old, terrify the young!"
• The day that they prepare to enter Ank'Harel, Vax attempts to sneak back to his room after staying in Keyleth's room for the night only to roll a Natural 1. He tries using his Lucky feat to remedy that, only to roll another Natural 1! Vex ends up catching him in the act of his "walk of shame", and her reaction is what sells it.
  Vex: (gagging and horrified, gives Vax a thumbs-up and starts to go back in her room)
  Vax: Oh, hey, hold on a second, though.
  Travis: (mouth full of cookies) OH GOD. Talk it out, talk it out!
  Vex: I'm about to throw up...
  Vax: No no no no. Make jokes, but I want to go into your room for a second and talk to you.
  Travis: (still with a mouth full of cookies) Ew! Make him bathe!
  • Even funnier is the whole group's reaction to his dual critical fails.
    Taliesin: There is a god and he hates you!
  • And even funnier than that? According to an episode of Talks Machina, prior to the moment itself during the break, Liam and Marisha were discussing who should sneak out of the other's room, not wanting anyone to know (especially Vex) that Vax and Keyleth slept together that night as well as discussing what might happen if they got caught. Vax was picked because there was no way he could fail... but then he failed anyway.
• Scanlan basically attempting to instigate a drug deal with two random teenagers on the street, first breaking the ice by asking where they got their fruit, explaining that he has a 'glandular problem' when they question his height (or lack thereof) before simply saying, "...Spice? ... Do you spice?" The teenagers are completely baffled, and the rest of the group is laughing hysterically. Taliesin in particular questions the wisdom of asking random passersby about drugs, and initially begs him not to do it.
  Sam/Scanlan: They seemed legit — they seemed like 'street kids'!
  Taliesin/Percy: What about that was 'legit'?!
  • Just Scanlan's attempts to secure a deal overall, especially considering that he knew nothing about the actual product he was attempting to buy.
    Sam: Am I just buying cinnamon here?!
  • And the very fact that, due to Scanlan's insane modifier on Deception checks, no-one finds anything unusual about his behavior. It becomes a Running Gag for Sam to call out his Deception rolls as "a billion" or "infinity".
  • When Scanlan finally finds someone who can get him the spice he needs, he opts to set up a deal to buy two hogsheads worth. And Sam continues to play the scene as if he's buying a crazy amount of illegal drugs.
  Dealer: (concerned) I mean this with all due respect... being as small a man as you are, you have to be careful.
  Scanlan: Don't tell me what to do. I can take it, alright? Let's just say that when I started using, I was your height.
• Grog gets a negative on an Investigation check, so Matt rules that he picks up a normal red rock from the ground and is convinced that it's magical.
• Percy and Keyleth volunteer to try the overly expensive alcohol that Grog just bought and become very intoxicated with only a few sips. The pair can barely talk and are called cute, but useless. What really sells it is Marisha and Taliesin answering questions from the group in hilarious, slurring, drunken unison.
  Vax: Can you feel this?
  Percy and Keyleth: (nods heads and groans in the affirmative)
  Vax: You can? Can you feel this?
  Percy and Keyleth: (nods heads and groans in the affirmative)
  Grog: Does it taste good?
  Percy and Keyleth: (shakes heads and groans in the negative)
  Vax: (sounding concerned and confused) Do you... recommend it?
  Percy and Keyleth: (shrugs and groans a non-committal eh)
  (cue everyone dying of laughter)
  • Vax has Percy try to recite his entire Overly Long Name.
  • After all of this, Grog, who is usually of the act first, question never mindset, decides against drinking the alcohol.
    Taliesin: You are such an asshole!
    Travis: Money well spent.
  • Not too long after this, the two of them manage to completely sink a transaction with a shopkeeper while trying to buy potions. Percy in particular just keeps digging himself deeper. To start they deduce, out loud, that a belt of phials contains magical potions before asking for the price, so naturally the shopkeeper jacks it up. It only gets worse from there.

Episode 66: A Traveler's Gamble

• Scanlan's adventures as a fledgling drug kingpin continue as he finally meets up with the mysterious "spice" seller and coins a new alias for himself, "The Meat Man". After he pays four hundred gold for two bags of fusaka, the party try various methods (with increasing desperation) to get high off it, with Scanlan going so far as to take it anally. Finally Vex decides to ask the innkeeper what he knows, and discovers that fusaka really is just a mundane flavouring spice. It's rare because there's little demand for it, expensive for spice (which usually costs coppers and silvers), and rocks in at a market value of ten gold pieces.
  • Every time someone tries to get high off of the fusaka, Matt has them roll a Constitution save, just to keep up the appearance that it might be a drug.
  • Scanlan lies to Percy and Vex and tells them he only paid 50 gold for it. Taliesin, knowing that Scanlan actually paid 400, takes the opportunity to throw in some Dramatic Irony.
    Percy: I mean if it were any more I would feel bad, but it's still only 50 gold.
    Sam/Scanlan: [Visibly facepalms]
    Percy: I'd feel like an idiot.
• Keyleth tries to use Speak with Animals to talk to some racing lizards in the casino, is asked for a Sleight of Hand check...and rolls a Natural 1, after which she is promptly caught and kicked out. Later on, Grog attempts to proposition one of the nobles at the casino, rolls a Natural 1 on his Intimidation check, and he gets kicked out as well!
• Percy asks for to-go cups from the glitzy, high-end Luck's Run casino. The bartender is confused but provides them for 1 gold piece each extra. Then, when Percy takes his colorful, collectible, Luck's Run branded to-go cups outside for Grog and Keyleth, Matt tells the players what the cups are really worth: about three copper pieces. This is after Scanlan's "drug deal", by the way.
  Taliesin: Oh, I hope so. It's all about the memories.
  Matt: You guys are a bunch of out-of-towners being taken for a ride by every patron here.

Episode 67: The Chase to Glintshore

• When the party discovers that Ripley's gun is a magic listening device:
  Vax: But for now, we assume she can hear everything we're saying?
  Grog: Ripley's a piece of shit!
  Vex: You're a piece of shit! You're ugly!
  Keyleth: [Grabs the gun] You're not that ugly, she just meant that to hurt your feelings.
  Grog: Keyleth, don't soften the blow. She's a piece of shit.
  Keyleth: But you are a piece of shit.
• A tense moment of party discussion is ruined when Sam drinks from his mug and reveals the sticker on the bottom this time: You spice? The other half of the table instantly starts Corpsing.
• Percy manages to sneak in a reference while the group is planning what to do regarding Mistress Asharu's murder.
  Percy: Or we go and tell them, and I cannot believe this is about to come out of my mouth: "It wasn't me, it was a one-armed woman".
  Scanlan: A fugitive?
• Scanlan stops by the casino after securing an airship and tries to find the spice dealers again for a confrontation, but they are nowhere to be found. Disappointed, he tries his luck at a dice game, only to lose 100 gold pieces. Now frustrated, he goes outside and asks Grog to slap him in the face, but because he's wearing a Hat of Disguise to appear as a human, Grog's slap passes through the illusion at four feet over Scanlan's head.
  Scanlan: I can't even get slapped in the face right!
• The enchanter who the group hires to remove Ripley's spying enchantment is equated to an image of Matt in costume on a carousel◊ and subsequently cannot be taken seriously by anyone at the table. Matt has mixed feelings about the situation.
• Keyleth as an earth elemental has a lower intelligence (5) than Grog as a giant eagle (8), or even normal Grog (6). That by itself merited a few chuckles, but Travis looks so happy when this is announced!

Episode 68: Cloak and Dagger

• This exchange:
  Grog: SURPRISE, BITCHES!
  Matt: You’re not raging, unfortunately, but—
  Grog: Oh. Surprise, gents.
  • Liam's comment is also gold:
    "I say, I'm going to have to kill you, dear boy!"
• Grog gets pissy when the twins don't let him hold one of the shiny flare stones, refusing to let Vax take point unless he gets one. Vax tries to pass off a shard of glass as the stone and slip past Grog, but the goliath simply grabs him by the scruff of his neck and glares. What sells it is that they each make successive rolls (Luck and inspiration from Scanlan respectively) that makes it look like Vax was initially grabbed, then not, then grabbed again.
• Keyleth's reaction to learning how much damage her new Whirlwind spell does:
  Keyleth: Ten d6? It's like Christmas!
• The layout of the battlefield in the main conflict is described by the cast as "crevasse boobies." Matt threatens to kill them all.
• Easy to miss amid the tension of the battle, but the mage in Ripley's party manages to have a spectacularly bad round even as he knocks two party members unconscious. First, Keyleth casts Whirlwind, leaving him restrained in a tornado. Then Scanlan casts Reverse Gravity in that area, sending everyone but the trapped mage flying a hundred feet into the sky. The next round, the mage casts Chain Lightning on Keyleth, knocking her unconscious, which means the Whirlwind fades and the mage is thrown up into the sky as well. Then the Chain Lightning splinters off to Scanlan, knocking him unconscious as well...which means Reverse Gravity also fades and the mage slams into the ground from a hundred feet. He basically killed himself in a Rube-Goldberg style Disaster Dominoes.

Episode 69: Passed Through Fire

• When deciding on which revival spell to use, Pike is tempted towards the cheaper option due to knowing Vex would want to save some money. They spend the thousand gold worth of diamonds for Resurrection anyway.
• When the crew finds a Gate spell scroll on Ripley's body, the immediate reaction, mainly from Scanlan, is that they use it to save/bring back Percy. Everyone, but mainly Keyleth, shoot the idea down due to the incredible power of the spell. Later, when Percy awakens, Scanlan lets him know that he wanted to use a Gate scroll to save him but they all said no. Doubles as a Heartwarming Moment and as the first real round of laughter from the group in the whole session, which had been understandably grim and incredibly emotional.
• Pike claims to have read all the books Percy gave her while they were away. After a pretty bad Deception check, Grog calls her out on her obvious lie.
  Percy: You just lied to me; I'm so proud of you!
• Grog being curious about Kerrek's letter gets this response...
  Vax: Those are called 'words', Grog.
• The stream goes down twice due to technical difficulties. After they return the first time, Sam jokes that Scanlan is holding Gilmore's severed head and that Percy actually died twice in the interim, one time being Vex's fault, and that Marisha cried eight more times. They then do a "Resurrection" which has Taliesin dramatically rising up from a lying-down position.
• More shenanigans with Grog's terrifyingly strong booze.
  • Pike decides to have two swigs. The first does nothing. The second knocks her out. Vax starts stacking trays and cups on her back.
  • They give some to Jarrett, and he and Scanlan have a hilariously incomprehensible conversation about obtaining drugs. Matt is having way too much fun with the alcohol-induced lisp.
  Jarrett: Look, if you wanna get thome thuude, go to like, the Turtht Fieldth or maybe in Kymal—
  Scanlan: What are—what were those words? The Thirst Feels?
  Jarrett: The Turtht Fieldth! Thouth of the Alabathter Thierrath.
  • When Scanlan asks Jarrett to spell "suude":
  Jarrett: Do you even know what you're athking me for?!
  Scanlan: I don't!
• Sam's impersonation of Patrick Rothfuss before Vax reads Percy's goodbye letter. It's really spot on.
  • When Vax reads Pike's part in Percy's goodbye letter, he initially asks her if she heard it before remembering she's still passed out.

Episode 70: Trust

• During the pre-game announcements, Sam does a plug for the show's sponsor in rap form. The entire cast is dying laughing, and Taliesin is in tears.
• Grog telling Keyleth to be patient. A sign of his character development, but still funny that he's the one to calm her down.
• Grog killing the tension after Percy's speech against Raishan.
  Percy: I am conscious of where we are, I'm conscious of who you are, and I'm conscious of what you need. I'm just trying to make sure that everybody's clear that the minute [Thordak] dies, all bets are off. You know it as well as I do. And you should be wary, because only one side of this table is underestimating the other.
  Grog: ...Which side is it?
• When Raishan explains the curse she apparently now has...
  Vex: Have you tried Greater Restoration?
• Though the audience is slightly disappointed that Percy and Vex don't discuss their relationship, when Percy and Vex go to the library to study up on a monster, it's so adorably awkward!
  Liam: It feels really third grade in here all of a sudden...
• Scanlan convinces Grog, who's carrying all the guns acquired from the Ripley fight, to give him one of them and some ammo. Later, he tries to load one. While Matt does not specifically state he fails to do so safely, the fact that it was a fairly low roll for what he was doing (11) doesn't give one much hope.
• Percy has to buy the guns off of Grog and bestows upon him a very real title: "Grand Poobah de Doink of All of This and That". Not only does Grog buy it completely, Taliesin points out that he didn't even bother with an insight check.
  • Even better, this made it into the Tal'dorei Campaign Setting book:
  "No one really knows if Grog's noble title is a real title at all, or if Percy was just joking when he gave it to him. Grog likes it, and that's good enough for most people."
  • Scanlan asks how you address a Grand Poobah. Percy replies that the proper modes of address are "Hey you over there", "Hey you guy", "Old bean", and "Sweet chestnut".
  • Prior to this, Percy offers Grog a book (which Grog assumes is Percy's idea of a joke); a cloak which, due to his misunderstanding Percy, Grog believes is a "Cloak of Smashing"; and has to parley his own glasses back by convincing Grog that he needs them to clean the guns, with Grog asking how many fingers he's holding up... and relying on Scanlan to know if he was right, made even more absurd when Scanlan has to confirm Percy indeed doesn't know.
  • Percy at one point drily notes that he had siblings, so while he knows to be wary of Grog's capriciousnsss, he also knows how this whole scenario is supposed to work.
• Grog gives Vex a Potion of Superior Healing as a belated reward for her flashing him her breasts all the way back in Episode 23. He says to take it if "they" ever get damaged, because he "fights better when there's boobies around."
• Vex asks Zahra about the goristro demon, and they talk about other things, such as the research into the mysterious anti-magic orb underneath Whitestone. Apparently, part of the research has been throwing rubbish into the thing and watching it disappear.
• Vox Machina breaks the Seeker-Assum-is-actually-a-disguised-dragon news to Lady Kima, and it is a riot.
  • Vax says it is a temporary Enemy Mine so they can kill both Raishan and Vorugal. Kima asks if he is insane, because that plan is stupid as shit.
  • Kima asks if they trust the dragon. Everyone immediately says "no". So she sees no reason not to kill the dragon now.
  • Vax tries to compare it to the fiasco with Clarota (all the way back in the first streamed-arc) by saying that they know better this time. He means that they will betray Raishan before she can betray them. Kima goes all I Told You So.
  • Keyleth tries to help by stating that they are friends and they all trust each other, but inadverently reminds Kima that she did not trust Kima originally. One part of it goes like this, "They trusted you, I didn't. I'm getting to my point! But we grew past that..." It is like Gameplay and Story Integration for Keyleth's dumped charisma.
  • Taliesin is keeping track of how much longer the conversation can last before it becomes too long for Scanlan to erase with Modify Memory, because Percy is not present for this train wreck.
  • Scanlan tries to Mind Wipe Lady Kima into forgetting about Raishan and fails, and gets justly whacked upside the head (for 35 points of damage!) in retaliation. This, after Lady Kima had made clear what would happen if he tried wiping her memories.
    Kima: (blinks her eyes for a second) ...didn't I warn you, Scanlan Shorthalt, not to try and WIPE MY MIND?! (Scores a Critical Hit with her Holy Thunder Maul on Scanlan, causing the bard to go tumbling away before skidding to a halt on the ground 10 feet away)
    Percy: That felt fair.
    Vex: He kinda deserved it.
    Kima: Damn right, he did.
    Vax: Look, he had good...there's a lot at stake...so bad idea...
    Grog: Vax. Nope. Let it be.
    Vex: How about we get through the tree before we talk anymore?
    Kima: I love you guys, but...
    Percy: Oh no, he had that coming.
    Keyleth: I've dreamt about doing that for so long.
    Grog: It was a good swing.
    Kima: Thank you. I've been tense recently, anyways.
  • The fact that all of this occurs because Keyleth mentioned things in front of Kima without realizing, and Scanlan loudly made clear that he was not allowing "Seeker Assum"/Raishan into his mansion for any reason. Even better, several of the cast realize what's about to happen, just before Matt speaks as Kima. Notably Laura looking around nervously as she realizes they're mentioning Raishan in-character with Kima right behind the group, and Taliesin/Percy facepalming at the scene.

Episode 71: Vorugal

• At the beginning, Vex goes to sneak the book containing information about the goristro out of Percy's room, and Taliesin tells Laura to roll for it. When the other players joke around that he can't tell someone to roll, Taliesin turns to Matt and cries, "Dad, make her roll for it!"
• Scanlan and Kima are not happy with each other for most of the first half of the episode, with Scanlan semi-seriously considering breaking down the magical mansion while she's still inside and leaving her out in the cold. Oh, Scanlan...
• Kima is left behind when VM go to scout out a location for the battle. When she talks about making herself something to eat, they mention the mansion supplies nothing but chicken.
  Kima: ...I love chicken!
  Grog: There's also a training room downstairs, if you want to go smash shit.
  Kima: I'm gonna go eat chicken and smash shit!
• Vex, Vax and Scanlan hand off their Vestiges to Keyleth to look after while they go talk to some people. When they come back, they find Keyleth trying to fire Whisper through Fenthras like a little kid playing with her parents' clothes.
• Grog breaks up a sibling fight between Vex and Vax.
• Vax dicking around with the teleport function of Whisper and nearly falling on Vex's head.
• A little bit of Ho Yay between Pike and Kima occurs when Scanlan and Pike go to retrieve Kima before the battle. Kima is downstairs doing one armed push-ups and eating chicken, and Pike is... very impressed.
• When Raishan appears in disguise, it takes Scanlan and Pike a few minutes to realize/learn who it is, much to her frustration. But they've got nothing on Vax, of all people, who spends the entire conversation having absolutely no idea that the person they're speaking with is Raishan!
  • Once Done, Never Forgotten kicks in as the party teases him for the rest of the episode about "Larkin".
  • At the end of the episode, Vax teases himself. The battle is over, Raishan departs, and Vax states that they need to find Larkin before they leave.

Episode 72: The Elephant in the Room

• Immediately after the fight, Grog runs off to rage-loot. This funny moment leads to several others.
  • Tooma sends a group of Ravinites to assist Vox Machina in the fight, but they are slower than a dragon, so they arrive late. What they see is a Persistent-Rage goliath running towards them, shouting, "DRAGON THAT WAY!" while pointing behind him. What they ultimately find is a dead Vorugal, his throat ripped open and a tree sprouting out of him, while a druid picks off his scales. Keyleth then waves to them awkwardly. The "what the f**" of the Ravinities is real.
  • Vex and Scanlan are having a tense and heartfelt conversation with Tooma and the Ravinites in Vorugal's lair, regarding credit for this fight and possible aid in the future. Then Travis says that Grog is running back and forth, still in a Persistent Rage, searching for loot "like a cracked out PCP addict". It's like he invoked Funny Background Event.
  • Naturally, he rolls a natural 1 on perception and just begins rage looting snow, digging like a mad dog and throwing snow in Vex's face. After the conversation is concluded, Grog just screams "WHERE THE FUCK IS IT?" Completely ruining a touching moment.
  Matt [After Scanlan makes a successful perception check] After pushing some of the snow out of the way... it's kind of amazing that Grog didn't see this at all. But not really, when you think about it.
• The gang takes a moment to do inventory as Grog tries to make room for their loot by throwing out all the useless crap the group forgot they had collected. Among the things thrown out are: totally decomposed orc head,^note Taliesin: I forgot about that! a brain chunk, two dark elf heads, one random arm and twelve beef jerky strips. Tooma and the other Ravinites observe this display with growing concern as she munches on the not very fresh discarded jerky.
  Grog (to Tooma): Right? Yeah, those are like super fresh. (Turns towards the group and mouths) Fuck!
• Scanlan, Vex and Grog find a ton of gold and platinum in Vorugal's lair, leading them to contemplate ditching the others and buying a mansion somewhere.
  Scanlan: Grog. Vex. We don't need to tell the others about this.
  Vex: We don't need to, no.
  Scanlan: We can just go to a warm place, the three of us, and just live out the rest of our days.
  Grog: We'll build a bank, like, it'll just be us.
  Scanlan: They'll never find us, we have the Dust of Tracelessness!
  Grog: We kill Vex after, like, the first month.
  Vex: I can hear you.
  Scanlan: We might need her to restart civilization.
  Vex: Oh. You know what? Let's go back. You lost me.
• Keyleth plays with the new Vestige, looking for all the world like a kid in a candy store. Unfortunately, a succession of poor rolls makes her sparring attacks on Grog... underwhelming. Grog's disappointment at not being mauled is funny enough, but his attempts to insist that he's injured, and Keyleth apparently buying it and being even more excited, cross between this and adorable.
• The whole scene of Keyleth transforming into an elephant with Percy on her back. To wit:
  • Percy and Keyleth fasten the golden mask on Grog's helmet and want to give it back to him with a kind of flourish. So Keyleth has the idea of (after Percy climbed on her back) turning into an elephant to ride up in a big scene. Only... She does it while still in Percy's workshop and is unable to go through the door in her huge form. Cue her trying to tear the door off and smash the wall so that she can fit through.
  • Scanlan and Grog are convinced that the elephant is an intruder who has kidnapped Percy, and start beating the crap out of poor elephant!Keyleth. Once she switches back to her druid form, she pretends that the elephant tried to eat her.
  • Also, the episode's absolutely perfect Pun-Based Title that resulted from this (and from addressing the metaphorical elephant in the room, namely whether or not Vex will ever confess her feelings for Percy).
• Vax and Scanlan have a literal pissing contest. Matt has them roll Performance checks to see how well they can write their names in the snow. Vax wins. Scanlan: "My wang is built for power, not accuracy."
• There's something really hilarious to how Taliesin breaks character at the end, since this episode ends immediately after Percy kisses Vex.
  Taliesin: Bam, motherfucker!
• Jut the fact that Vex killed a dragon and got a kiss from a Princess (well, noble-born man, but you get the idea) is amusing in its own right.
• While everyone has varying levels of attentiveness while Percy and Vex have a personal conversation in the woods, Travis, who is normally trying to do anything but pay attention, is so wrapped up in whether Vex will admit her feelings for Percy that he looks about ready to chew a hole through the drink can he's holding. When Percy unexpectedly kisses Vex, Travis squeals and looks just as excited as Laura, if not more so.
  • To put this into perspective, look at the group when Vax is trying to convince Vex to admit her feelings a few scenes beforehand. Sam, Tal, and Marisha are all screwing around like children, not paying any attention whatsoever, while poor Travis (who's stranded with Liam and Laura) looks absolutely bored out of his mind.

Episode 73: The Coming Storm

• It's the Halloween episode, which means we're treated to the sight of Matt conducting several heartwarming, tearjerking, and extremely tense conversations... while dressed as Viktor the black powder merchant.
  • Everyone keeps breaking out into laughter for the first part of the episode due to not being able to take Matt seriously. Especially Liam. He describes the outfit as "It's like Doc Brown exploded."
  Liam: I'd like to set the Deathwalker's Ward ^*for those unaware, it grants resistance to a damage type of the wearer's choice to "Matthew's Costume".
  • Everyone is dressed as various villains from the campaign, except Liam, who's dressed as Tyriok the mapmaker and conducts the entire session one-handed.
    Laura: You're the only person alive!
    Liam: ...Cheers!
  • Scanlan is dressed up as Hotis the Rakshasa, leading to the inevitable "they're GRRRRRRREAT" shoutout.
  • Married couple Laura Bailey and Travis Willingham are dressed as married couple Delilah and Sylas Briarwood.
  • Taliesin Jaffe is Clarota because of course he is.
  • Marisha Ray is Dr. Anna Ripley. (Meaning three people at the table, fully half the players, are dressed up as people who traumatised Percy. Four if you count Viktor.)
  • Matthew Mercer and Marisha Ray got engaged a few days before the session, which is adorable, but results in viewers being treated to the mental image of Viktor marrying Ripley when they announce it at the beginning of the evening. The cast's comments include the suggestion of Travis Willingham as a flower girl.
    • After showing off her engagement ring, Marisha jokes that Matt's costume is "what I have to look forward to in my elder years". Matt plays along by replying in Viktor's voice.
• Vax goes to visit Gilmore, meaning Matt has to do his voice... while dressed as Viktor. Liam immediately regrets this decision.
• A unexplained Super Mario Bros. coin sound effect goes off while Vax is knocking on Gilmore's door.
  Matt: You find a gold coin.
• Vex and Keyleth come across a half-naked Kashaw sleeping in his room. They comment on his loud snoring, with Vex mentioning that Vax doesn't snore. Keyleth's response? "I know." She immediately reacts in embarrassment to what just came out of her mouth.
• Then, after waking Kashaw up, Vex and Keyleth pick up the Slayer's Take contracts from him, which they don't need anymore because they've already killed Vorugal. When they tell him he went all the way to Vasselheim for nothing, his reaction is simple:
  Kashaw: Get out of my room.
• After leaving Kash's room, Vex and Keyleth have a brief moment of girl-talk and Squee about Percy kissing Vex. In a case of Open Mouth, Insert Foot, when Vex asks Keyleth about her friendship with Percy and she says "He's not my twin brother", Vex segues into talking about her and Vax.
  • There's also the way this one starts, with a moment of mistaken identity:
  Vex: He kissed me!
  Keyleth: Who, Kash?
• Scanlan pushes Percy and Grog into divvying up the gold they found in the previous episode. He successfully negotiates with Grog to give him 10 Platinum... which backfires, since Grog is too dumb to count, so he only ends up getting 6.
  Grog: One, three, seven, eight, nine, forty, ten.
  Grog: [Later] How about I give you 20 more Platinum? [As Travis] And I give him 4 more.
• Scanlan once again seeks out Jarrett to ask about drugs, leading to an embarrassing, hilarious, and then surprisingly serious conversation... at the end of which Jarrett sucker-punches him for making insulting assumptions about him and that Scanlan now has something to look forward to.
• The sheer look of horror on everyone's face (including Matt's!) when Percy stabs Asum (Raishan) is somewhere between funny and completely understandable, but Marisha's reaction is hilarious.
  Marisha: Ohhhh, let's fucking DO THIS SHIT! LET'S DO IT! Let's do it....DO IT!
• Allura sheepishly telling Percy that they threw his desk chair into the spinning orb of death.

Episode 74: Path of Brass

• The train wreck that is Vox Machina trying to get to Fort Daxio at the start of the episode. The plan: have Keyleth Scry and find a tree, then use Transport Via Plants. The catch: you can only scry on a creature, not a general place^note The spell does allow a general area as the target, but it has to be somewhere the caster has already been, which still left VM up the proverbial creek.. The entire group spend several minutes flicking through their notes hoping to find a past NPC who might have gone to Fort Daxio, with no success. They ask Allura if she knows anyone there. She only knows Mikael Daxio, who's currently in Syngorn. They ask Gilmore if he knows any of the soldiers stationed at Fort Daxio. Nope. They ask if Gilmore knows a spell that can teleport them there? Nope, but Allura might. So they go back to Allura, and it turns out she can teleport up to 8 people there, which would've solved the whole mess instantly if they'd thought to ask. Liam likens it to being stuck running around in circles in a videogame trying to find the Event Flag that'll progress the story.
• Grog rolls a 3 on a Perception Check looking up at the sky around Fort Daxio, leading a a combination of Attention Deficit... Ooh, Shiny! and, oddly enough for Grog, Cuteness Proximity.
  Matt: You see what looks to be a small bird, and it's really small and it's really cute and your eyes sort of watch it flying off that way.
  • After this, Pike tried to have it land on her hand "like a Disney Princess", requiring an Animal Handling check. Something which, Sam points out, they almost never get to do in this campaign. She rolls a 9, so her armor clunking scares it off.
• Matt tries to do a war horn noise as Vox Machina arrives at Fort Daxio. Keyword: "tries".
  Matt: As you guys begin to approach the gate you hear a small horn just kind of give off this, this arrival notification. [Weak Horn Noise that sounds more like a kazoo] ...But deeper and much cooler sounding than that. [Everyone starts Corpsing ] Because I'm not a war horn.
  Sam: All their horns were broken in the war.
  Liam: Did we just find your Achilles Heel?
  Marisha: Horn noises?
  Liam: Man of a Thousand Voices, animals, creatures... can't do horns.
  Matt: That's some more hit points on Thordak...
• The general at Fort Daxio describes herself as having "been under" Mikhail Daxio for fifteen years. Laura immediately raises her eyebrows and starts laughing. Evidently she's getting a reputation as the queen of innuendo.
  Liam: You are the worst.
  Travis: I just - I mean like - it didn't even take a second.
  Taliesin: I specifically looked [toward Laura], hoping.
• How much of a boss lady is General Ellie Gorgofon? After she and the party agree to use Fort Daxio as the location for fighting Thordak, Keyleth tries to start a Hard-Work Montage on getting the old and somewhat derelick fort ready, and she cancels it with a single "wait!"
  • This is presented by the players as them taking up poses and preparing to sing, which is swiftly interrupted by Matt waving his hand and saying "wait". He describes the General as stopping the montage with a wave of her hand.
• Sam running his Magnificent Mansion as a soup kitchen — but also treating it like a high-class restaurant, asking the soldiers if they have a plus one or if their names are on his list.
  • Related: when he tells the general the idea, her reaction (and Allura's reply) is priceless.
    General: (without taking her eyes off Scanlan) I can't tell, is the little man fucking with me?
    Allura: Usually, yes, but not right now.
• Percy working on one of the trebuchets somehow turns into a Mr. Fanservice Shirtless Scene, with all the nearby soldiers either looking at him in utter bewilderment or fanning themselves.
• Partway through the episode, an alarm goes off on Sam's phone. He set the alarm so he'd know when to take off his shirt. And he's wearing 4 shirts to this session. Why? Because he'd realized he'd worn 70 shirts in 74 episodes, so if he wears 4 in this one, he'll have worn one shirt for each episode!
• Matt is forced to describe a situation in which the sun is directly overhead.^note Matthew voices McCree in Overwatch, and his Pre-Asskicking One-Liner "It's high noon..." has been subjected to Memetic Mutation by Matt himself. The rest of the group cracks up at his struggle.
  Matt: I'm not gonna say it, but the sun is high in the sky.
  Sam: It's fuuuuull sunlight.
  Taliesin: It's lunchtime!
• The new NPC, Senokir the jeweler, whose slightly bizarre mannerisms make the party fall in love with him immediately.
  Taliesin: We'll never see Viktor again. I have a new best friend.
• Senokir's way of speaking is creepy, and that is why it makes the cast giggle. Matt has this creepy face and expressions that get them. There are also jokes:
  • Marisha asks if Uten is unnerved by the way Senokir speaks and then says, "so this dude talks this way all the time?" Matt replies that Uten is "totally unfazed.".
  • Later, Keyleth transforms into someone resembling Senokir and they have this exchange:
  Keyleth: Do. All Genasi. Talk like this? Do I also. Have to talk. Like this?
  Senokir: I. do not know. what. you mean.
• Percy covering his hands with black powder while on the plane of fire.
  Matt as Victor: LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES!
• After receiving aid from two residents of the City of Brass, Vox Machina negotiates repaying the favor.
  Percy: The deal will not include any of us —
  Scanlan: Unless it's for a one-time sexual favor of some sort —
  Vex: In which case, take your pick.
  Scanlan: I'm up for that.
  Grog: I'm up too.
  (beat)
  Percy: Oh my god you people.
• Scanlan's reaction upon one of the efreet realizing that Scanlan had mind controlled his friend.
  Scanlan: I'm just a harmless - KILL HIM KILL HIM NOWWWW!
• The fact that in spite of Senokir's extreme creepiness and overall untrustworthy manner, Vox Machina chose to put all their trust in him and more or less sell themselves into slavery to him.
• Vox Machina either missing or ignoring Matt's hints that a trip to the fire plane is a bad idea.
• Senokir's weird, monotonous laugh when Vax starts messing with Vex.

Episode 75: Where The Cards Fall

• Sam's radio play at the start of the episode.
• When Vox Machina arrives at the forge of the fire giant Waska, they strike an agreement: in exchange for information pertaining to the whereabouts of the Plate of the Dawnmartyr, they will give up some magic items. They offer the Ring of Protection and a Ring of Lightning Resistance with no hesitation... but when Grog offers up the Alchemy Jug (which creates some liquids in limited amounts and nothing else) they immediately protest. It makes mayonnaise!
• The negotiation between Keyleth and Waska includes this gem:
  Keyleth: I don't believe it is from this realm, but it resides here. It was won by a fire giant, [such] as yourself, in a game of cards.
  Waska: A game...of cards?
  Keyleth: Or, some call them...card games.
  (muffled laughter from everyone at the table)
• Two fire giant guards greet them and the first thing Scanlan asks is "Are they fuckable?" Poor Matt takes a few seconds to reply that Scanlan can try if he wants, but he'd be the gerbil.
• Grog rolls a natural 20 on Deception to convince Keyleth and Pike that if they drop the absurdly heavy metal square they're awkwardly hauling around, they will die. Neither Pike (14) nor Keyleth (a natural one) roll well enough to see through it.
• Grog's brilliant plan on how to fight the Pit Fiend.
  Grog: Hell Fiend goes "Oh, time to go shopping for slaves!", walks up to The Arches, we set a trap, Vax goes stabby-stab-stab, Percy goes "pwoww", Pike goes... "Hi!" and we're doneskies!
  Taliesin: You're writing the best children's book ever.
• Percy's utterly baffled and slightly flattered look when Vax suggests giving him another Shirtless Scene to attract slave buyers.
• Grog's adorable spelling lesson with Pike.
• In order to make themselves more appealing to slave owners, Scanlan casts Seeming to make everyone look like "sextuplets" resembling Vax and Vex:
  Keyleth: I think we're spending a lot of time on this, and maybe not enough time on our battle plan.
  Percy: The battle plan... is nesting doll sextuplets.
• Matt's introduction of the two Celestial child slaves includes the phrase "two young boys", which immediately attracts Sam's attention. Matt's response is just as quick.
  Matt: No, Scanlan. No.
• Scanlan's disguise as a slave auctioneer is "Francois Australia", with a ridiculous attempt at a French accent. His full name is "Francois Bertrand Jean-Luc Australia".
• Keyleth and Percy, the twins' love interests, suddenly look exactly like the twins. Vex and Vax are horrified, and Percy has an absolute field day, repeatedly calling Vex "sister".
  Vax: (thoroughly squicked) Grog, slap me really hard across the face right now.
  Grog: Done! (knocks him flat)
  Vax: Sweet, sweet ignorance...
  Percy: Do you need a hand up, brother?
  • It also ruins a prime romantic moment after Vex buys the aasimar slaves:
    Percy: (to Vex) You're an idiot and I'm very proud of you. Don't do that again.
    Vex: ...Don't. Talk to me right now. Just...don't.
    Percy: (cracks up)
  • Percy also offers to do a "very strange accent", further horrifying Vex. Scanlan than suggests that he talk in Vex's sultrier tone and Percy wordlessly turns to Vex, who fully loses it.

Episode 76: Brawl in the Arches

• There's just something inherently funny about Travis quoting famously soothing and cheerful Bob Ross while Grog is going into a rage.
  Travis/Grog: I wanna light this candle and get the party started! I would like to fiery rage. [...] And in the immortal words of Bob Ross, "Everybody needs a friend," and I want to give him a big fucking bear hug!
• Seeming once again rears its hilarious head as Liam forgot that the spell was making everyone look like the twins and had Vax kiss Keyleth in the middle of the battle, only for it to be pointed out later that Vax made out with his sister's doppelganger.
• The reaction to Sam's new book of vile limericks. Even better, the fact that it was a gift from Taliesin, and Taliesin never intended it to be read on the stream.
  • Matt asks Marisha if she actually wants to take an inspiration die from one—ruled that Keyleth didn't actually understand most of it, and happily took it by saying "she likes whipped cream!"
  • At one point, he uses Cutting Words on the Pit Fiend by reading him one of the limericks. It works, and Matt decides that the limerick was so disgusting even the Pit Fiend was horrified by it.
• When Vex has to make a death saving throw and passes, she also takes poison damage, which automatically fails. Laura cheerfully says, "Thank god I passed 'cause I would've just died!", realises what she said, and stares into the middle distance with a blankly frozen smile for nearly twenty seconds straight while the episode continues.
• As they begin to return to Juuraiel, Vax re-attunes himself to the Ring of Invisibility and sneaks up behind Vex to tease her about Percy. She promptly elbows him in the gut.
  Vax: You're a shithead!
  • Liam demands that Laura roll with disadvantage, since he's invisible. A smug Matt simply replies that she's Vax's sister; she's grown up with him and knows exactly where he is.
• Laura asks if the Plate of the Dawnmartyr is quieter than Pike's regular armor. Matt immediately confirms that it is not.

Episode 77: Clash at Daxio

• Sam reveals a new shirt he made...featuring one of Matt's derpfaces. Matt then takes the opportunity to remind everyone that the topic of the new GM Tips episode was about handling character death.
  • The same image on the shirt is also on the bottom of Sam's mug, which goes unnoticed by the cast for the majority of the episode. When Matt finally spots it, he mutters, "I hate you so much, Sam."
• Poor Percy tries to make an attack with Animus, which jams, then Bad News, which also jams. So he goes for a nearby trebuchet... and blows the strength roll to aim it. Pike's the one who winds up firing it.
  • The cast jokes about how he has become "nega-Percy" because his rolls are the opposite of what they usually are.
• When Xanthas charms Vex into walking off a ledge, she does that...but pulls out her broom, forcing him to yell to shoot her friends instead.
  • So Laura asks Matt if Vex, being charmed at the moment, considers Xanthas to be her friend. He says that Vex does believe that, and so she announces that her attack target will be her best friend in the world, Xanthas. Matt's response is to crack up and say, "You are such a lawyer".
• Vex and Kima have competing It's Personal reasons to want to be the one who kills Xanthas (Vex because he put her under Mind Control and Kima because he attacked Allura), which leads to Kima grumpily stabbing Xanthas's dead body after Vex gets the HDYWTDT.
• Introducing the Aasimar boys to Cassandra, Laura completely blanks on their names.
  Vex: This is, um, ...Keurig and Human.
  Matt: You're the best foster mom ever.
• When the group is estimating the losses suffered by the Fort Daxio guards, Travis briefly forgets Grog's intelligence.
  Percy: Estimated at...
  Grog: 75%.
  Percy: [amazed] Grog!
  Grog: I mean...whatever those words mean.
  Percy: Broken clock...
• The group's very extended discussion on whether to take Allura or Gilmore to Emon. They keep trying to palm the decision off onto the NPCs and Matt's having none of it.
  Raishan: [Sighs] At the rate this is going neither of them is going to go!
  Scanlan: Trial by combat!
  Matt: Survivor goes to Emon!

Episode 78: The Siege of Emon

• The return of Kashaw and Zahra brings with it some incredible lines, and Kash's first conversation with Keyleth (who spots him outside the barracks and pretends to be tying her shoe) does not disappoint:
  Kashaw: You're like, five feet from me; am I not supposed to see that?
  Keyleth: Oh! Oh my god, Kash! Oh, wow! I didn't see you there!
  Kashaw: Really? Interesting. It was the looking-at-me that threw me.
  • Not a minute later:
    Keyleth: Y'know, okay Kash, I'm sensing just a little bit of, um...underlying aggression—
    Kashaw: Really? It's underlying?
• The entire conversation between Scanlan and Jarrett about drugs. Highlights include:
  • Scanlan asks Jarrett if he's a cop, and claims he has to tell him if he is.
    Taliesin: That's a myth, for the kids at home, by the way. Just wanna get that out there. Don't wanna fill their heads with bad ideas. Carry on.
    Will: Kids arrested all over town tonight.
    Taliesin: "Are you a cop?" "No...? I'm a stripper."
  • Scanlan claims he's cool and all, really...and then immediately asks Jarrett how it's consumed, his first guess being anally. The whole cast cracks up, but what makes it is a crew member letting out a single shout of laughter off-camera, breaking the players completely.
  • Matt compares Jarrett's feelings on the matter to someone realizing they just bought a beer for a twelve-year-old.
• The players are discussing stacking potions and Mary has this succinct description of what mixing too many together would be like: "Long Island Ice Tea of Death".
  • Taliesin adds: "Water-breathing before fire, never been higher."
• Keyleth is very excited to show Vax the Air Ashari village where she grew up:
  Keyleth: I can show you where I went to school...
  Kashaw: You went to school?
• Percy goes to Vex's room with alcohol to continue their post-kiss promise to "talk later". Vex greets him without any clothes and a playfully-innocent "what was it, dear?"
  Mary: (Singsong) I can't wait for the artwork!
  • Subsequently, the slow realization on Liam's face as Vax puts together that Vex and Percy slept together◊.
• Will Friedle's scary levels of tactics expertise, and his exasperation at Vox Machina's lack thereof.
• Keyleth teleports to the Air Ashari with Vax and Allura in tow, leading to a heartwarming conversation with her father, an awkward moment as she introduces Vax to him, and an awesome moment when Korrin promises the Air Ashari will be there in the battle against Thordak. It wraps around to hilarious when, after he leaves, Allura points out that she'd been standing there the whole time and Keyleth forgot to introduce her.
• Matt narrates what it's like to be among the soldiers preparing for the titular siege, when Will suddenly exclaims, "Dale?!" Matt rolls with it and we get a very brief, hilariously inexplicable scene in which Kashaw chats with his old friend Dale. The very grim and taciturn Kashaw being incredibly boisterous during this conversation seals the deal.
• Matt's subbing for Grog includes a scene in which he reacts with a glum, wordless moan when told not to drink something, prompting this observation:
  Sam: Matt's Grog and Matt's Trinket are very similar.
  Matt: Well, to be fair...
• Liam rolls a natural 20 for detecting traps. All Matt can really do about it is emphasize the impressive extent to which there aren't any traps.
• This exchange has the group in stitches:
  Vax: I used to be one of you. I used to be Clasp.
  Vex: And then I took an arrow to the knee.
• Scanlan breaks up a particularly tense conversation with the Clasp by claiming a Thieves' Cant code knocked out by an invisible Vax was done with his penis. The best part is that the whole studio bursts into laughter and the crew even begins to applaud.
• After wrapping a pair of Fire Giants in Evard's Black Tentacles:
  Zahra: Welcome to hentai.

Episode 79: Thordak

• As he stares down Thordak, Percy has a moment of crisis where he questions his life choices. He then hastily clarifies that he only means some of his life choices
  Percy: I'm regretting so many things right now (points at Vex) - not you! Oh god, I shouldn't avoid my family. It leads to dragons...
  • Keyleth, having heard what Percy said to Vex, wants details on whether he ever followed through after the kiss. Both Percy and Vex point out that this really isn't the time.
• Keyleth's 8th level tsunami spell is decidedly underwhelming (Thordak's sheer size means it barely affects him), to Marisha's dismay. Matt's reaction is... somewhat flippant. Until he realizes that reacting that way may have put him in hot water with his fiancee.
  • Keyleth and Gilmore's moment of solidarity when Thordak dodges his 6th level Disintegrate spell.
    Laura: What level spell was that, Gilmore?
    Gilmore: (morosely) Sixth.
    Keyleth: Yeah. Eighth. I feel ya, man.
• Scanlan's inspiration song, set to a familiar Christmas tune:
  Thordak the Cinder Ki~ng
  Had a very shiny gem
  And if you ever saw it
  Run the fuck away from him!
• Pike (played by Laura and Liam) casts Beacon of Hope, which grants advantage on Wisdom and death saving throws and ensures that any healing is automatically done to the spell or potion's fullest extent (so a second-level Healing Word would automatically heal 8+spell modifier). The whole party is very happy:
  Taliesin: That's so clutch. We should do that every time.
  Sam: Yeah, Ashley, remember that. Wherever you are. -both look up at the ceiling-
  Taliesin: -beat- Are we ever gonna get her down from there?
  Marisha: We keep her in the rafters.
• At one point, Percy uses a Piercing Shot against Thordak and Matt has to ask him to choose whether it also hits Grog or Kima. Cue Travis...
  Travis: You know, Kima doesn't have an actual human being attached to her. Just saying.

Episode 80: Raishan

• Keyleth breaks and destroys one of the dragon eggs, and the rest of the group is quick to point out this technically means she killed a dragon. Cue Marisha mock-celebrating being a dragonslayer, and this line from Sam.
  Sam: How do you want to do this? Sunny side up.
• The group decides that the classic D&D spell Abi-Dalzim's Horrid Wilting shall henceforth be known as Adella Dazeem's Horrid Wilting.
• Apparently growing frustrated with Sam's refusal to have Scanlan play the brass flute to summon J'mon Sa Ord to the party's aid, Laura busts out a limerick based on her previous attempt to convince him. Better yet, it apparently works!
  Laura: Have you heard tell of Scanlan the Bold?
  Who won't tell us his age - but he's old!
  With his sword he's a slayer,
  With the ladies, a player,
  But if he picks up the flute he's pure gold!
  Sam: Alright, so I'm going to do lightning bolt.
  Laura: Goddammit!
• When he finally plays the flute the group jokes about waiting for the Brass Dragon to arrive, with them picturing them going through airport security.
  Sam: He's at TSA right now. He's like "I have nothing else metal on me, I don't need - oh I'm bronze."
• After a tense moment where Vax is knocked unconscious and almost falls into the lava, Mood Whiplash ensues when Keyleth tries to drag him away... in her Fire Elemental form. Matt rules that because Keyleth is used to the form he'll just allow Vax to make a death saving throw, rather than outright take damage, but Marisha jokes that accidentally killing Vax while trying to drag him to safety would've been "the most Keyleth thing ever".
• Even with Scanlan frozen solid by Raishan's Cone of Cold spell, Sam continues to deliver the laughs.
  Sam: I died as I lived... hard.
• Keyleth tries a simple but needless jump (the battle was over and she wasn't being threatened) and rolls a Natural 1, faceplanting into the lava.
  Taliesin: You died as you lived...
  Marisha: A fucking dumbass?
  • Immediately afterwards, Travis asks what Marisha rolled a Nat 1 in and Sam immediately responds that she rolled a Nat 1 in moving.
  Marisha: I was like, "As long as I don't roll a 1 that shouldn't be that—oh, okay..."
  Taliesin: Oh look, someone left a metaphor on the ground! Don't step in it or anything!
  • The look on Matt's face, however, is not as funny; Keyleth could have died instantly and left no body to resurrect.
• As Vex is laying, unconscious, with two Death saves gone, Laura has to get up to use the restroom. She begs Matt not to kill her while she's gone. What makes this funny is that Sam tells the rest of the group after she leaves that they should all be crying when she comes back. Laura from off-screen yells back "Don't - I heard that!" Cue the cast cracking up.

Episode 81: What Lies Beneath the Surface

• Vox Machina are absolutely filthy when they return to Whitestone. When they meet up with Cassandra, Percy decides that what she really needs from her sweaty, bloody, sooty, smelly older brother is a massive hug.
• Vax approaches Percy to have a heart-to-heart with him, telling him he sees him as a brother and cares for him immensely. He decides that the best time to do this is while Percy is bathing, and starts the conversation by walking in buck-ass naked and getting in the tub with him.
  Percy: ...you're getting weirder.
  Vax: Um... You and I are very different.
  Percy: I would agree, although I'm... I'm in a bath.
  • After Vax gets done talking with Percy and walks out (making sure to point out that Percy gets a nice eyefull of his ass), Vex pops up from under the water. The entire table (sans Liam), starts cackling.
    Vex: (gasps for air) Ugh! I thought he'd never leave!
  • Special mentions: Travis doesn't even try to play it cool and immediately jumps up and cheers, Liam acts like a shocked brother, and Marisha immediately lampshades:
    Marisha: How big are these fucking bathtubs?
  • When Vax enters the bathtub Percy tells him "I'm really working on something here," and keeps trying to get him to hurry up. Best part: Taliesin had no idea what Laura was planning, so those lines took on a very different meaning.
  • Liam points out that their conversation took like a full minute, prompting Marisha to ask if Vex took their water breathing potions. Taliesin calmly tells her that they mixed them into the bathwater.
• Right before the break, Sam theorizes what Raishan's plan is. Made even funnier with the guest player at the table...
  Sam: She was looking for the third book of the trilogy of Patrick Rothfuss!
  • Keep in mind, he was trying to say "Patrick Rothfuss' The Kingkiller Chronicle", but he only gets to "Patrick Rothf-" before everyone (table and pit crew alike) erupts into laughter.
• The sandkeg returns, leading to Kerr suffering from the strong burning taste and then immediately losing all feeling in his mouth.
  Keyleth: Now the fire has passed through you.
  • Allura, of all people, who is canonically a lightweight, manages to completely no-sell the sandkeg's numbing effects to the awestruck delight of the entire table; Sam gives a reverent whisper that "She's the Highlander!" and Grog asks in-character if she can teach him her sorcerous ways. Allura herself is calmly unaffected...at first. As time goes on, however...
  Allura: There is no need for me to maintain the illutho... illusory barrier over the thity.
  Allura: ...That's rather imprethive.
  Allura: Don't laugh at me, Vex'thalia.
• When the group decides to loot Thordak's lair, who finds the Deck of Many Things, possibly the most ridiculously dangerous and campaign-destroying magical item in the game? Grog, the barbarian with 6 INT, played by Travis, one of only two people at the table with no idea what it does (and none of the others can tell him without metagaming). Everything that comes after is nerve-wrackingly hilarious. Watch everyone's faces as Matt describes the find.
  • Also the fact that Grog's first instinct once finding the Deck of Many Things is to toss it in the lava. Cue Laura Bailey giving a very incredulous "Travis!"
  (After drawing a card from the deck)
  Liam: It's the most powerful thing in the book...!
  Travis: Wait, really?
  Liam: Yes! Yes, yes, yes!!
  Travis: (To Matt) Why would you give me that?!
  (Everyone bursts into laughter)
  Matt: Look man, the last thing I expected was for Grog to be the first one to loot for magical items and roll a decent investigation check! And yet here you are, discovering this deck!
• After drawing a card from the deck and nothing bad happening, Grog tries to discretely put the rest of the deck in his pocket. Travis rolls a Sleight of Hand check and...
  Travis: SHITTHATSANATURALONE! GODDAMMIT!
  • Matt plays this off as Grog trying to pocket the Deck, only to throw it towards the rest of the party.
• Grog discovers the scimitar he found is, in fact, a Dancing Sword. He waltzes with it to try and unlock its powers.
• While Scanlan's adventures in drugs are slowly becoming more serious than funny, this line is still humorous.
  Keyleth: (holding the flute Scanlan turned into a bong) Uh, guys... I feel like this was classic Scanlan... in terms of choices...
• Patrick Rothfuss as paladin Kerrek is trying to figure out how much healing to dole out, so it's suggested that everyone under 30HP raise their hands... and Rothfuss notes, as they do so, that this would be an excellent moment to kill them all. As the group cracks up, Rothfuss claims he was sent by Acquisitions Incorporated to extract "protection money".
• Gilmore's epiphany after the Thordak fight.
  Gilmore: This experience has helped me come to terms with the fact that I... should NOT be on the battlefield.
  Grog: That's not true! That finger of yours is very powerful!
  Gilmore: Yes. And I was also on fire. A lot.
• In a classic moment of simultaneous seriousness and hilarity, Scanlan modifies Jarett's memory^note with an eighth level Modify Memory that he had been saving up to change his answer to supplying Scanlan with more drugs from a vehement "No!" to agreeing to do anything he can. The group can't help but laugh at how he has essentially become Heisenberg.
• With exquisite politeness, upon hearing that they found and looted what may or may not have been the flying carpet she purchased to replace the one they stole, Allura requests that Vox Machina kindly avoid throwing any more of her belongings into acid.
• After their... mishaps with lava in the last episode, the group finds out their next destination is a volcanic island, and feel like lava might be dethroning doors as their new nemesis.
  Taliesin: One day, we're going to meet a lava door.
  Travis: Don't you put that evil on us. Don't even put it out there.
  Liam: Matt hadn't even thought of that!
• After Vax and Keyleth's haircut talk and Scanlan preparing his "pipe" for the morning, Kerrek gets "noisily sick" and throws up in the latrine.

Episode 82: Deadly Echoes

• Kerrek uses his Paladin abilities to sense undead in the vicinity, and he gets a reaction. Unfortunately, Grog doesn't quite get his wording.
  Kerrek: There is an unclean thing here.
  Grog: Well fuck, I'm sorry, it's just not a priority to me.
• This exchange as the group finds a rope bridge across a chasm.
  Percy: I'm going to make a run for it.
  Grog: Are you literally going to run?
  Percy: No, I'm going to walk. Gingerly.
  Grog: So you're going to make a walk for it.
  Percy: I'm tying the rope... [Beat] That may be one of the smartest things you've ever said, I don't actually have a retort for it on any level.
  Grog: I don't know why... what is a "retort"?
  Percy: It means if I die, you win.
• Marisha taunting Matt with her 21 Dexterity check and the party telling her not to do that. Matt's poker face (aside from a one-eyed blink) and Marisha backpedaling is what sells it.
• After the group escapes the reverse gravity trap, Kerrek says "So this is pretty much Tuesday for you, isn't it?" Percy replies that it's more like a Thursday.
• Taliesin and Marisha play Scanlan for an absent Sam, including singing his spells. The normally dry and deadpan Taliesin breaks into a hamtastic rendition of "Roxanne" by The Police that garners praise from the rest of the table, while Marisha sings a parody of "Mickey" by Toni Basil that... doesn't.
• Percy asks to borrow a spare jug from Grog, who asks for his ascot in exchange because he wants to be dignified. Percy gives him the ascot, and Taliesin describes him tying it "Little Dickie's first day of school" style with a Christmas bow.
• When Allura covers the gem in the fountain room, the gravity in the reverse-gravity chasm is turned back to normal and hundreds upon hundreds of corpses fall from the ceiling to the ravine. Liam immediately shouts "Turn down for what!" and he, Laura, Taliesin, and Marisha begin dancing, and Travis and Matt playfully chide them for how painfully white that was:
  Taliesin: I may play Dungeons and Dragons on the internet, but now I'm embarrassed.

Episode 83: The Deceiver's Stand

• Sam plugs Marvel. Specifically by claiming he's "leet", then botching every single reference so badly he's obviously doing it on purpose.
  • It gets worse in the next week's Talks Machina, as Brian Foster claims Sam had stolen the joke from him.
• All of the egg jokes throughout the episode.
  • Also, the beginning, with Vax going all-out on them by using advantage, sneak attack, the sharp-shooter feat and poison. The egg makes a successful save against the poison.
• Grog scoring a critical hit with his new dwarven throwing hammer on Thordak's head. The head attached to his thoroughly dead body. Matt allows him a HDYWTDT anyway.
  Grog: [Talking to the new hammer] This... is the beginning... OF A BEAUTIFUL RELATIONSHIP!!! [Slams the hammer down]
• Grog hears an ominous breathing sound and rolls low on a perception check, so he thinks it's coming from his new hammer and worries that it might be yet another Evil Weapon.
  Grog: Please, don't do this. I've had a previous relationship, I've been burned before!
• After Kerrek deals over 60 radiant damage to a wraith that was attacking Grog, Travis starts singing "My Boyfriend's Back", and Taliesin and Marisha start harmonizing...really creepily. Laura describes it as "the Addams Family version".
  Travis: Somebody's cat at home just died.
• After Raishan's devastating Meteor Swarm, Scanlan asks if the dog (the Obsidian Mastiff) got hit. Matt rules that it definitely did, instantly destroying it and turning it back into a statue. Black Comedy ensues when Scanlan points out that both times they've used the dog so far, it's been blown up.
• Scanlan tried Cutting Words on one of Raishan's Attacks of Opportunity by saying "You're so dumb, you get your yearly checkup from Dr. Dranzel!" He rolls enough to cause the attack to miss, so Matt decides that Raishan pauses for a moment to say "Wait, who?"
• Marisha needs a laser pointer, Travis tosses it to her, and Marisha deftly catches it one-handed.
  Matt: That's my girl!
  Marisha (aiming the laser pointer): Who's that?
  Matt: ...That's the water fountain.
• Laura sums up Vox Machina rather neatly:
  Raishan: Why won't you just stay down and die with dignity?!
  Vex: (immediately) We don't do anything with dignity!
• Marisha is so shocked and excited over landing a clutch Feeblemind on Raishan that she falls right out of her seat, to the point where her shoes briefly stick up into frame. Taliesin, the person sitting right next to her, is the last one to notice this.
• Continuing a precedent from the previous fight, Scanlan has another undignified death - this time covered in his own urine. Never change, Scanlan...
  • At one point when he's restored to consciousness...
  Scanlan: Is this my urine or someone else's? I don't know which is worse.
• As the other players are discussing using Revivify on the just-killed Percy, Sam makes his own contribution.
  Sam: Right now Scanlan's getting fed grapes by little cherubs...that are the same size as him. And he's like, "Come on, Percy, they've got red and green grapes..."
  • Prior to this, Taliesin's response to Sam commenting that they're both in heaven:
    Taliesin: It's so cute that you think either of us are going...
• Laura's opinion on what Scanlan's personal Hell would be, made a crowning moment by Sam acting it out:
  Laura: The ultimate punishment for Scanlan is that he would show up as a spectral servant in someone else's Mansion.
  Sam: "You want me to do what? Ugh... Alright." (opens his mouth)
• While considering that Raishan might be hiding within the dragon-sized central wall of the chamber, this exchange occurs quietly in the background:
  Marisha: It could still be her.
  Sam: Could still be she.
  Taliesin: (silently glares at Sam for a moment, then elbow-whacks him in the forearm, accompanied by a cartoony sound effect)
• Raishan casts Disintegrate, which leaves the players panicking as Mercer takes a picture of the die he just rolled and proceeds to look something up on his phone. Travis asks Taliesin to pass him the laser pointer and attempts to blind Mercer with it.