Funny / Critical Role Vecna Arc

Critical Role's funny moments
Campaign 1 (Vox Machina): 1-23 | 24-38 | 39-83 | 84-99 | 100-115
Campaign 2 (Mighty Nein): 1-25 | 26-47 | 48-69 | 70-91 | 92-112 | 113-141
Campaign 3 (Bell's Hells): 1-22 | 23-38 | 39-51 | 52-64 | 65-80 | 81-
Critical Role One-Shots

The Cult of Vecna story arc revisits the mysterious and dangerous artifact that was activated beneath Whitestone Castle during the Briarwood story arc, and features Scanlan rejoining the team to fight the mysteriously returned Lady Briarwood, who is leading a cult based in the Shadowfell that seeks to summon the evil lich demigod Vecna. The first two episodes feature guest appearances by Jon Heder as Lionel "Chod" Gayheart, a slow-witted but kind-hearted half-orc "bardbarian."

Episode 100: Unfinished Business

• Sam's opening shill to the sponsor? Quizzing Taliesin, the "King of Comic Books", with a rapid-fire list of names, and Taliesin has to guess whether the name is a Marvel Comics character or a yoga position. It actually manages to be a brainteaser!
• While the group is questioning how Scanlan maintained his Meat Man illusion for so long (when all it would take to reveal it is someone touching him), they mention that he must not have been to any brothels in the past year. Lionel says "What's a brothel?" and Percy can only reply "Oh dear..."
• Keyleth uses her Inspiring Leader feat by giving the party a group hug. Matt notes that, as they're in the middle of a busy Ank'Harel street, they get some very weird looks.
• The party encourages Scanlan to use his Meat Man disguise when he returns to his base of operations in Ank'Harel... only for Scanlan to end up walking in on an identical-looking man in the middle of a deal. Vax and Vex try to pass them off as twins and horribly fail the Deception check. Turns out the second "Meat Man" is Kaylie, covering for him while he's gone.
• A double-whammy: When they're preparing to camp for the night in the mountain where the ziggurat is housed, Lionel suggests they find the bodies of his comrades and use them as pillows. Pike agrees that it would be good to have a body pillow.
• Lionel calls dibs to the sandpit in the war room in Scanlan's mansion, and Grog describes his current position as "like the dog that's starin' at the cat that stole its fuckin' bed".
  Lionel: Can't argue with the dibs policy.
  Grog: It's supreme. It's absolute. It's binding in all planes.
  Lionel: All barbarians understand it. It's the law.
• This exchange, regarding Scanlan:
  Pike: Well, you know what we should do? We should just, tomorrow—
  Grog: Kill him.
• When Grog and Pike are trying to fight off the horde of skeletons by themselves to impress Scanlan, Lionel shows up to help. He proceeds to roll natural 20s on both of his attacks that round. Grog responds with a Reckless attack on a skeleton, and even with advantage, rolls a natural 1 on both of his attack rolls.
  • Pike obliterates most of a horde of skeletons with Destroy Undead, and at about that point, Vax walks back to the kitchen and starts clearing plates.
• When Tary identifies a magic item as The Third Eye of Awareness, Lionel asks where the First and Second eyes are.
• Tary, somewhat-uncharacteristically, makes a hurricane of dick jokes when describing the Iron Bands of Bilarro. He handwaves it as Scanlan being a bad influence.
  Tary: This rusty iron sphere measures three inches in diameter and weights one pound (like m'dick) You can use an action to speak the command word and throw the sphere at a huge or smaller creature (like m'dick) [...] as the sphere moves through the air it opens into a tangle of metal bands (like m'dick) [...] once the band is used it can't be used again until the next dawn... like my dick.
  Vex: Tary, you've never been quite so obsessed with your dick before!
  Tary: It's just that gnome, he's so weird and he rubs off on people... like my di-OH I'm doing it again!

Episode 101: Thar Amphala

• The party suggests Taryon ask Scanlan if Lionel can join his group. He does.
  • Forcing Sam into roleplaying a conversation between Scanlan and Taryon retroactively brings an extremely hilarious detail into sharp relief — despite Sam having written Scanlan out of the story so he could be someone else for a while; despite Sam being, like the rest of the players, a professional voice actor — Scanlan and Taryon sound exactly the same, both basically just using Sam's natural speaking voice.
• While everyone else is trying to prepare or find out what exactly they are dealing with, Grog goes to the Whitestone kitchens and asks for "A salad with meat in it." The kitchen staff interpret this as a salad entirely made of meat, which overjoys Grog.
  • The funnier part is that the lovely nutrition nerds at CritRoleStats calculated the nutritional value of the meat salad, which Grog named GoFiBePo. [1]
• The spontaneous creation of Larry the Chalice Collector after a snarky comment from Liam about Matt's latest NPC sounding just like his old school's crossing guard.
  • Notable for being funny enough that the normally unflappable Matt broke character and started laughing.
• Scanlan's Seeming returns, this time turning the party into ghoulish undead adjacent creatures. Laura and Travis ask for customizations for their characters, like ratty hair and eyeball hanging out. Then Sam suggests undead walking, and Thriller dancing starts. After recovering his composure, Matt has this to say,
  Matt: Make a Performance Check
• After using Dominate Mind on a one-eyed cultist for information, the spell wears off and their prisoner will answer no more questions. Grog pokes his other eye out. What really sells it? Grog asks "How many middle fingers am I holding up?"

Episode 102: Race to the Tower

• At the beginning of the episode during announcements, the cast all whip out their Stan Lee impressions. Sam thinks Liam's sounds more like Gilbert Gottfried.
• Keyleth uses the Gust power as an oscillating fan. Mercer snarks that Level 18 druids are very impressive: timeless body, oscillating fan, sprinkler system...
• After a lengthy planning session, the players note the vacant expression on Matt's face. Taliesin theorizes that he's fantasizing about the other people he could be playing D&D with right now.
• Vox Machina gets closer to tower by putting on cultists' cloaks. That are all for Medium creatures. While Grog is still fine thanks to an illusion they cast, Pike and Scanlan are still Small creatures. So they make a Totem Pole Trench. As if that wasn't enough, Scanlan uses Mythcarver to make one arm, and Liam notices it marks the third time Scanlan used the sword.
  Taliesin: It has gone from exalted to ashamed.
  • And when they meet another cultist, Scanlan decides to speak with him for no discernible reason, forcing him to roll a Deception check they would have otherwise avoided. And succeeds.
  Cultist: The Undying King also takes the... special ones under his wing.
• Coming at a very dark moment (like most of the humor in this episode), there's Liam's response when Vax is targeted by Delilah Briarwood's Disintegrate:
  Delilah: (to Keyleth) You took him from me. I'm now going to take him from you.
  Liam: We weren't technically dating when we killed her, so I'm not really sure she would've known...
• In a similar moment of black comedy, Travis comments that while they're fighting for their lives Tary is likely just enjoying a drink. Then Sam chimes in with a comment that crosses into Tear Jerker:
  Sam: No, Tary is on the floor weeping and holding his necklace. ^note Tary has one of the necklaces enchanted to go off when one of them falls.
• Scanlan's attempt to rickroll Vecna. Sadly, it fails.
• Scanlan's counterspell is "You're Beautiful" with alterations to the lyrics involving him shitting on Vecna's face.
  • Vecna's reaction to Scanlan's counterspell.
  Matt/Vecna: ...What?

Episode 103: The Fate-Touched

• After Scanlan is nearly compelled to gouge out his own eye by the magical eyeball they took from Delilah's body, and Pike knocks the eye away and it begins burrowing into the dirt:
  Scanlan: I don't trust that thing.
  Percy: The burrowing eyeball? Are you sure?
• Scanlan knows a spell that can turn an animal into diamonds, which they need to cast True Resurrection. Naturally, he repeatedly suggests that the animal be Trinket. Laura, who has her head buried in her arms to represent Vex crying over Vax and Trinket, mutters "You dick" without looking up.
• Vax recalls that Vex used to give him wet willies in Abyssal class when they were children as an attempt to get her to believe that he's really himself after the Raven Queen resurrects him.
• After all the discussions, events, and a night spent in the Feywild, the party returns to the Material Plane, which means Wisdom saving throws to see if anyone suffers the amnesia inducing effect of the Feywild. Grog and Scanlan both fail theirs, leading both to spontaneously freakout upon seeing Vax alive and in their midst, since their last unclouded memory involved Vax being destroyed in the previous battle, which the party had just calmed down about only a few minutes before. In a panic, Scanlan tries to use his whip to attack Vax, only to roll a Critical Failure on his attack and ends up whipping himself in the same eye he tried to gouge out the night before. Which he also forgot about.
  Scanlan: Argh! Why does my eye hurt so much?!
  • Furthermore, the reason for and ramifications of Vax's return from death initially prove too much for Grog's simple mind to wrap his head around, leaving him with not much more to add to the discussion than to say "I need to pee". When he returns from the Feywild, without his memory of Vax's resurrection, he once again says he needs to pee, before Pike casts Restoration on him, after which he states that he doesn't have to pee, presumably after remembering he already did.
• Scanlan and Grog split off from the group in an attempt to track down the man who randomly pulled the Wish card from the Deck of Many Things, hoping he'll remember Grog and agree he owes him a favor. Instead, they happen to walk past one of the guards that Doty knocked out and Grog further assaulted when Tary and Grog explored Vasselheim alone. Said guard then manages to roll a very high perception check and comes over to try to get Grog arrested, while all the while Scanlan has no idea what's going on because Tary was there last time, not him.
  • Early in the scene, Grog tries to fool the guards into thinking he's someone else. What does he roll on Deception? Negative one.
    • When Scanlan similarly tries to fool the guards, Matt rolls a Natural 20, beating Scanlan's 24 Deception roll.
    • Grog and Scanlan's fake names respectively are Peter Frostbucket and Gerald Butler. The guard captain isn't buying it for a second.
  • On hearing a vague description of Doty (or rather the horrifically disguised version of Doty who knocked out the guards), Scanlan attempts to distract the guards by creating an image of a giant furious metal man and claiming he's come back for more. It nearly works, but the guards manage to roll two natural 20s to see through Scanlan's absurdly high Deception.
  • Grog doesn't miss a beat and, upon seeing the illusion that looks nothing like Doty, immediately claims it to be its latest transformation.
  • Scanlan trying to convince the guard that attacking the creature will only make it stronger, and the only solution is walk away in different directions. As written above, it didn't work.
  • Grog then panics and punches the guard again, prompting Scanlan to polymorph him into a giant eagle and fly away (as every single guard fires crossbow bolts at them) and then flee further through the city invisibly.
  • The best part of this subplot is that the entire chain of events started when Grog accidentally overpaid a potions merchant in episode 22, and now, more than eighty episodes later, Grog and Scanlan may never be able to show their faces in Vasselheim again.
• Before everything went downhill, they were discussing how to proceed to meet their target. Scanlan offers Grog to use his Hat of Disguise, which can alter his appearance however he wants. Grog refuses, saying the guy remembers his face, and chastises Scanlan for the stupid idea. Then he asks Scanlan if he has anything that can make it look like what he's pretending to be, prompting an extremely annoyed Scanlan to repeat that he has: a hat that can alter Grog's appearance however he wants. It takes half a minute for the table (and Matt) to recover from the laughter.
• Much of the second half of the episode becomes funnier when you realize that Vax is walking around Vasselheim and then the Fields of Elysium with no pants.
• While discussing the magic eye, Ashley makes a pun that clearly pains her before it even leaves her mouth.
  Ashley: (as Pike) It makes me nervous, Scanlan, I want to keep our... (hesitates) eyes on it.
  (The whole table starts laughing.)
  Ashley: (wincing) Fuck off.

Episode 104: Elysium

• Liam is Skyping in, and when he talks his voice sounds unnaturally crisp and robotic.
  Marisha: No, no, I wanted two cheeseburgers—
  Liam (monotone): I am richer for having known you.
• Keyleth makes a Nature check to find the nicest tree in the field to talk to and rolls a Natural 1, so the tree turns out to be amazingly ornery, considering it's a tree. Taliesin remarks that it's a great tree with tons of shade.
  "So because I'm a tree of the sun you assume I know all the other trees of the sun, is that what this is?"
  • Even better - just before the crap roll Liam quips "not that one, that one's an asshole."
• Grog is intent on eating some Elysian fruit. Percy tries to talk him out of it by saying "I dare you not to eat it." Grog eats it anyway, so Matt makes him take a Wisdom saving throw.
• The reason the group so cautious about eating the Elysian fruit? They think it might be made of souls. Eventually they get confirmation that it's not...but the pearls Grog stole from Sarenrae's beach are. Fortunately she teleported them back to her realm.

Episode 105: The Fear of Isolation

• Darin De Paul guest stars as Sprigg, an elderly gnome. Almost everything he does qualifies as off-the-wall bonkers hilarity, the least of which is being an incorrigible Pungeon Master.
  • Matt gets in on the fun as Demistrik, an imp who's lived with Sprigg for 19 years and argues with him like they're an old married couple.
• Marisha attempts to turn into a Fire Elemental as a free action and declares "Circle of the Moon, bitch!". The rest of the cast immediately questions the wisdom of calling your DM and fiancé a bitch—followed up by Matt correcting her that it's actually a bonus action. Marisha takes it in stride, and Liam cloyingly says "I would like to retract my 'bitch', pleeeease".
• Keyleth's Fire Storm accidentally sets parts of Sprigg's house on fire. Soon after, two giant entities from the Shadowfell burst through the rear wall. Percy and Grog blame Keyleth for the destruction.
• Percy burns a grit point to force the necromancer to drop his staff. As he tells Matt to roll a Strength saving throw, Matt cuts him off.
  Matt: Oh don't worry, he drops the staff... because there's not much left of his head.
• One cultist takes a shot at Sprigg... while on fire and trapped under a giant log, so Matt jokes that he has "super disadvantage". The cast love the idea so much that Matt actually goes with it, having him take the lowest of three dice.
• The big obvious trap in the middle of Sprigg's floor is triggered during the battle by Vax, who knew where it was but threw Whisper right on top of it. What did it summon? A Beholder... illusion.
• Percy sees Ioun's library and instantly goes kid-in-a-candy-store. Doubled because all the books are in Celestial, which he reads. Doubled again when he summarizes a few of the recorded lives within for everyone else as "Birth. Death. Sex. Birth. Death. Disappointment."
  • On the word "sex," Taliesin mimes holding a book sideways like a centerfold.
  • What does he say when he first realizes the books are biographies? "They're made of people."
  • Then we shift to Grog, who describes being surrounded by nothing but books as far as eye can see as his "worst case scenario".
• Scanlan remembered what Percy said to Pelor about Vex last episode and started tooting a wedding march on his flute. That one not-so-innocent gesture caused Keyleth to lose her temper and Percy to panic-activate Diplomacy's Silence function, leaving Taliesin, Laura, and Sam to mime yelling at each other for a couple minutes.
  • While Vax and Keyleth's reaction to the wedding march is a bit of a Tear Jerker, Sam adds some much-needed comic relief by saying "So you're gonna ruin everyone else's joy. You're one of those couples", causing the entire table to lose it.
  Marisha: Worst double date sangria partners ever!
  Sam: "Oh, you're going on vacation? WE got a DIVORCE!"

Episode 106: The Endless Atheneum

• During the opening announcements, the new Critical Role Pencil set is unveiled as a new item available for the Geek and Sundry store page. Each pencil has a famous phrase from each of the cast members etched on them, including the ever popular "How do you want to do this?". Matt immediately points out the hilarity of the existentialism as someone uses any of the pencils, causes the phrases to drastically change in tone as it becomes shortened.
  "Do you want to do this?"
  "You want to do this?"
  "Want to do this?"
  "To do this?"
  "Do this?"
  "This?"
• Sprigg tries telling Ioun a joke. She actually chuckles.
  Sprigg: Knock knock!
  Ioun: ...Who's there?
  Sprigg: You'd know!
  (later)
  Vax: So who was it?
  Ioun: It was Larkin.
• Ioun goes over the members of the group not yet claimed by another god...starting with Grog. For a moment, it seems like the sheer audacity of him being in her realm has impressed her, but then...
  Ioun: Grog Strongjaw.
  Grog/Travis: [Bursts out laughing]
  Ioun: Just being within my realm... is of near painful discomfort to you. For that, I apologize, and can see you are not to be my vessel.
  Grog: [Sounding like a sad child] Oh, what a roller coaster. I was going up, and then right back down.
• Scanlan has to sing to get the ghostly library attendants' attention, which results in several gems. He tries to sing a song about Vecna, but can't think of anything that rhymes. At the end of the test, Sprigg thinks of a few suggestions, such as "he's a pain in the neck, ma" and "Fight him? Heck nah!"
• Unsure of how to get the Tome of Isolation to reveal its writing, Scanlan at first tries singing to it. It does nothing. Embarrassed, he hastily tells Vex not to tell the others he sung to a book.
• When they return to Sprigg's house from Ioun's realm, Vex takes Vax aside to have a conversation...and a poor Investigation roll leads to her promptly getting her foot caught in one of Sprigg's bear traps.
  Sam: We're basically gods.
• When describing the process to create the divine trammels, Ioun says that it requires both the strength of a titan and "the genius of a mad man". At which point, Matt looks at Taliesin, who looks behind him. Travis bursts into laughter and says, "don't look elsewhere, mother fucker. She's looking at you."
• Grog tells Scanlan to eat the seed given to him by Ioun. The set-up itself is hilarious but then Scanlan tries to fool Grog by pretending to eat it, while actually making a move to pocket it. Sam's sleight of hand roll is terrible (5 +3 for Jack of all trades) but Travis rolls even worse. Matt then declares that Scanlan did the most obvious sleight of hand magic trick that even a simpleton could see through, but Grog is both entranced and terrified. He then holds his head to Scanlan's stomach, asking if he can have his stuff when he inevitably bursts.
• Vecna appearing behind the cast of Vox Machina following his ascension to godhood? Horrifying. Grog reacting by screaming like a little girl and brandishing his battleaxe? Hilarious. Made even better by the fact that Travis was the one to immediately and correctly guess that it was Vecna, seconds before Matt revealed it.
  • Not only that, but Vecna also starts a bout of Sarcastic Clapping as he mocks them. How does he do it with only one hand, you ask? By using Mage Hand near his stump.
• At the end of the episode, Scanlan tries True Polymorphing into a Planetar. Upon succeeding, he spends the rest of the night checking himself out in the mirror, among other implied things.

Episode 107: Scaldseat

• Vax and Keyleth began the episode with a heart-to-heart discussion about accepting Vax's mortality, then managed to slip in a Take That! to all of the Trolls who whine online about their poor choices.
• The party awakens in Scanlan's newly-vegetarian mansion, and Grog has some...critiques of the menu.
  Grog: What do you mean, lentils? What is that? What is a lentil? Is it a leaf? Is it a bean?
  Percy: No one really knows, to be fair.
  Grog: Why on god's green earth is it even here? I don't understand.
  Percy: Lentils are here to punish us.
  Grog: Really?
  Percy: Yes. We have done something terribly wrong, and now we must eat of these.
  Grog: That makes sense an hour from now when I get punished in the loo.
  Percy: We are punished by that.
• Marisha's voice was hoarse from illness, so she did an interpretive dance for her Inspiring Leader speech. The rest of the party and the DM work together spontaneously to provide an impromptu soundtrack.
• The party can breathe water, but the air is poisonous. To move around more easily, Grog gets the idea of filling the Alchemy Jug with water.
  Matt: You guys are water-bonging your way through an underwater volcano. If that's not Vox Machina, I don't know what is.
• Boulder-Parchment-Shears returns, with Vex and Percy playing it over the right to not have Pike's Death Ward cast on them, as both wished the other to have the protection. Vex wins, and Pike casually mentions she can cast it on four of them.
  • Not to mention how this comes about: Percy and Vex keep telling the other to take it, much to Grog's (and probably Travis') chagrin.
  Grog: Oh my God, flip for it, Jesus...
• At the shore village, Liam tries to troll Matt by having Vax yell, "Hey you, little girl!" (i.e forcing him to come up with an on-the-spot NPC) Instead, Matt counter-trolls him by having the "little girl" Vax called out to turn out to be a short, crusty old fisherman, who is very pissed off.
• When Travis quips that they're going on a "three-hour tour" by boat, the cast launch into a discussion of which Gilligan's Island character they all are in this situation, that lasts for several minutes.
  Liam: This is going to be very helpful against Vecna.
• Santy, captain of the Shore Shanty, and "She sells seashells" are combined into ever-funnier tongue twisters.
• Scanlan's inspiration to Grog was "Happy Birthday", as it was Travis's birthday, but with every word replaced with "Happy". It is supposedly a traditional Herd of the Storms song, and they are a "simple people".
• Scanlan turning into a Planetar is awesome during the fight, hilarious afterwards while he uses his angelic powers (including mind-reading and seeing through any lie) just to mess around with the others and show off.
• The party soon realizes that after using the alchemy jug to take breaths for so long, the water is probably full of bits of food and hair. Liam jokes that they were functionally "motorboating a gravy boat".
• Matt grants Liam an unexpected boon of a fourth use of his Luck feat, and the cast jokes that it's because Liam bought a copy of the campaign guide.
  Sam: I bought one too; what do I get?
  Mat: ...You get an awesome angel dick.
• Taliesin's low, rumbling burp at a very tense point makes Travis jump and look around nervously, hearing it as a ghostly growl from an unexpected direction.

Episode 108: The Core Anvil

• Keyleth gives a helpful warning to the group:
  Keyleth: We might want to be careful about getting too high, we might suffocate?
  Sam: That's the only time Marisha has ever said those words.
  Marisha: We are live on the fucking Internet, Sam Riegel.
  Sam: Hope your mom's watching.
• Taliesin spills his coffee all over his dice tray and artifact cards.
  10 points of coffee damage.
• Taliesin points out that Percy speaks Celestial and does his impression of it...which comes out sounding like Swedish. Causing Matt to declare it part of Exandrian canon now that Celestial sounds like Swedish.
• Matt rolls a glut of 2s and 3s for the giant stone golem.
  Matt: Jesus Christ...
  Liam: I don't think that demigod exists in this campaign.
• Scanlan takes 61 points of fire damage from being kicked into lava and falls unconscious. Vex rescues him and he comes back to one hit point because of Pike's Death Ward...and then at the top of the round he's still on fire, so he takes ten points of fire damage and falls back unconscious.
• Laura temporarily leaves the table just before Grog's turn and Travis rolls really well to hit the Forge Guardian. Liam decides to roleplay as Laura and squeaks "Oh beebeeeeeeeee!" while playfully punching Travis's arm.
• Grog is being assisted by Scanlan with some skill checks.
  Grog: You wanna help me with this one too?
  Sam: [Doing a spot-on impression of Travis's Grog voice] Yeah!
  Grog: What's wrong with your voice?
• Scanlan's last inspiration song to Percy in a tense moment:
  Here's a little song I wrote
  It's filled with inspiration note for note
  Don't fuck up
  Or I'll kill you!
  Taliesin/Percy: I don't feel good.

Episode 109: The Ominous March (LIVE)

• Brian has some good jokes before the start of the show:
  "It is I, your host for the evening, Recession-Friendly Ryan Seacrest. This outfit is what happens when you take 'shrooms before creating a Saint's Row character."
  —>"You can hug your neighbor and get drunk after the show if something sad happens. And then someone please tweet me the bar that you're at, and I will join you...with Travis Willingham's American Express."
• Although everyone at the live show is dressed normally, Sam Riegel comes in wearing something different. As in wearing a familiar skintight yellow jumpsuit with a box over his crotch. Yes, he is showing off "The Cube". He wears this throughout the entire show.
  • He even got a figurine of himself wearing the outfit in June of 2018!
• Taryon's gift to Vax, which he had promised to Grog in the previous episode as a reward for successfully completing the trammels, is finally revealed: a Philter of Love. Vax tells Grog that it was originally meant to be drunk by the goliath, but that he'd far rather prank Scanlan with it. Thus, it's poured into Scanlan's wine, sending the bard into a frenzy of lust towards Percival. Flirting, touching, and an attempted Mage Hand follow, all thwarted by Vex's jealousy and passive Perception.
  • The response from the cast, Matt and the audience to this reveal (and Liam's constant dropping of unintentional innuendos throughout the conversation) compounds the absurdity and hilarity of the situation: Travis makes a game attempt at keeping a straight face throughout, even as Vax digs himself deeper with every sentence; the audience bursts into laughter every other sentence; the other cast members are constantly corpsing; and all the while, Sam has a look of amusement mixed with annoyance, presumably at the realisation that a throwaway gag from a little over a dozen episodes prior has come back to haunt him.
  Liam: I want to step outside the game for a second to say that Sam Riegel gave me a bullet to kill Travis Willingham with, and I have turned the gun back on Sam Riegel. And shortly, it will be my time to die.
  • Vax explains that he wanted to use it on Grog first, but then learned that the potion only works if the affected sees someone they'd be reasonably attracted to—in other words, it won't work if they see someone outside of their sexual orientation. Vax decided he couldn't use it on Grog because the goliath is "taco, not hot dog."
  Grog: Yep. (Awkward fist bump out.) Tacoooo...
  • The lead-up to the potion drinking is Scanlan (in-character, unknowingly, but as Sam Riegel, having the time of his life) guilt-tripping the hell out of Vax before he spikes his wine. This includes telling Vax over and over how much he appreciates his friendship and trustworthiness, writing and performing a song just for him, and the song giving Inspiration for Vax's sleight of hand to put the potion in his drink.
    • Liam rolls 29 for sleight of hand and with Inspiration gets a total of 39. Sam rolls a 12 for Perception.
  • Just before Scanlan drinks, Vax covers up Keyleth's eyes and pulls her away so Scanlan won't fall for her. Despite seeing this very eyebrow-raising interaction clear as day, Scanlan just drinks his wine happily.
  • Sam rolls to see which unfortunate party member he's going to be falling head-over-heels for. It ends up being Percy, and because of the aforementioned "won't work outside of orientation" rule, Matt curiously asks just how adventurous Scanlan's..."encounters" have been.
  Sam-as-Scanlan: A human man? That was teenage years, baby. I've gone much further than that since then.
  • Scanlan's first action upon falling for Percy is to unzip the top of his collar very sensuously.
  • Not only does Percy not know what's going on, he rolls a one on his insight roll. So not only is he only confused by Scanlan's sudden change in affection for him, he gets offended when Vex and Keyleth start asking questions.
  Percy: Is it so hard to believe that maybe someone just finds me attractive?
  • Scanlan tries to not-too-subtly sit right next to Percy and sidle against him. Cue Laura walking across the stage and pulling Sam away just as he wraps his arm around Taliesin.
  • Around when this happens, we see Matt tears up a sheet of paper, no doubt throwing away whatever plans he had for the first hour of the session.
  • Vex demands that Scanlan try to keep it together, and he agrees to think of gross things to distract himself. Like Victor's ballsack. Matt chimes in with "Learn from my mistakes..."
  Scanlan: [winces] Why are they so singed?
• As they decide to head to bed for a long rest, Grog asks Scanlan where he'll be sleeping that night to see if they need to post any guards.
  Percy: It'll be fine.
  Vex: It'll be fine!
  Grog: ...It'll be great.
  • Matt asks if there's anything else they want to do before the evening comes to a close, and Sam immediately says "Yes". The audience and players begin howling.
• Bedtime comes, and Scanlan sneaks into Percy's bed...only to find Vex there as well because they're married and it isn't the 1950s. Matt naturally makes him do a stealth check.
  Sam: Okay, I think that's gonna work! [Beat] 8.
  • Percy has had quite enough:
  Percy: (producing the ball of chains from under his pillow) Manners.
  • Once tied up with Manners, Vex and Percy's patience wears thinner than ever, and they demand to know what's going on.
  Scanlan: I know this is your marital bed...Can I at least watch? I promise I won't look at you, Vex! I won't look at you at all! I'll just be looking at Percy!
  • Vex once again demands to know what's gotten into Scanlan, and when Percy gets offended once more, she has to stop to make it clear that he's "completely desirable."
  • Just as he's about to be sent away to his own room, the Philter finally wears off, leaving Scanlan suddenly, horribly aware of everything that he's done. He tries to play it off as a wrong-date birthday prank, and in the end can only explain it as "For the lulz."
    • This all happens while Liam is doubling over laughing, to the point that he collapses into Laura.
  Liam: By the way, when everyone asks me tomorrow on social media why I did it, same answer.
  • When Scanlan finally leaves, he exits through the main door instead of the secret tunnels, triggering a bucket trap that Percy set filled with a flour-like substance that won't hurt Scanlan, but will be a nightmare to wash out.
  • At breakfast the morning after, Keyleth asks Scanlan trepidatiously what wine distributor he buys from; he responds that he doesn't want to talk about it.
• They're about to Plane-shift out of Scanlan's mansion to Vasselheim to avoid the journey back through a toxic volcano, but Keyleth remembers the boat they rented to get into the ocean.
  Keyleth: Oh, wait, we chartered that boat...do we care about those people?
  • Scanlan and Keyleth lament that they won't get their deposit back, and Vex replies that when the world is ending, there are more important things than 500 gold. Everyone, including the audience, is awed by this, and Vex turns to the audience and snarks "I know."
• As Vox Machina hold each other's hands to Plane-shift, Taliesin takes Sam's hand and gently strokes it with his thumb. Sam responds by rubbing his face up Taliesin's arm.
• Matt has to do a live whisper to Scanlan. An audience member immediately yells "Hey guys, so those T-shirts—"
• After joining a meeting in Vasselheim, Vex'ahlia is given a ring by Highbearer Vord that is supposed to protect the party from being spied upon by Vecna. Shortly after that, Vecna shows up in illusory form in order to taunt the assembled group. Immediately after that scene:
  Vex: (holding up her middle finger with the ring on it) Does this need to be attuned?
  Vord: (somewhat sheepishly) It does.
• Highbearer Vord, once again exasperating Vox Machina:
  Keyleth: Wait, did you just make a decree and then turn to us and say "What's your plan"?
  Vord: ...Yes. You think I haven't heard tales of your chaotic battle strategies?
  • He follows up by pointing out that even he can't figure out how they've survived all this time, so he's just leaving the planning up (or lack thereof) to them.
• While they're waiting for Vex to attune to the ring, the party can't speak out loud about their battle plan against Vecna. So instead, they begin half-heartedly talking about how they're definitely not going to be doing anything. They jokingly suggest going shopping, leaving to be with their families, and even to convert to worshipping Vecna. Grog, not having any idea what's going on, is somewhat disturbed by this.
  Grog: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!?
  • Vex panics when Vax mimes stabbing his eye out with Whisper.
    Scanlan: Don't worry, he can't be killed. [loudly and deliberately] Just like all of us can't be killed...
    Grog: J'mon, I'm goin' with you; these people have lost their fuckin' minds.
    J'mon: Do not worry, Grog. Be patient. I think there is more to their words than you are...sit down.
• Keyleth uses her Inspiring Leader feat to make a speech about how they should all believe in themselves...and then adds "And we're probably going to die".
  • J'mon sa Ord telling her they found that "quite inspiring" is the icing on the cake.
• Matt has the party make a group Intelligence check upon seeing the titan's footprints. Fittingly, Percy rolls a Natural 20 while Grog rolls a Natural 1.
• Laura has the sudden realization of Vecna's plan several minutes after the rest of the group. Liam's response?
  Liam: And his name is Larkin!
• The team trying to stay confident, despite their increasing terror as they realize they're going to face not only Vecna but a Godzilla-sized undead primordial titan. For example:
  Grog: If it bleeds, we—we're gonna die.
  • Also:
  Vex: Pike, how strong are you feeling right now?
  Pike: (as played by Matt, faintly) I dunno...
  Grog: It's alright, buddy!
  Vex: You're a monstah!
  Pike: (nearly crying) I'm a monstah! (beat) It's also a monstah!
• A moment of very dark comedy as J'mon flies the party into the Titan. Both Vax and Keyleth fail their Strength saving throws, lose their grip and fall from his back. Keyleth yells "Whisper!", so Vax throws it... at her, managing to hit while she's invisible, thus teleporting into her embrace by stabbing her. She takes Whisper's Psychic damage too.
  Marisha/Keyleth: Our entire relationship has been Psychic Damage, baby!

Episode 110: The Climb Within

• The players are all a little sleep deprived and it's making the cast particularly giggly.
• Laura notes that she really, really needs a cup of coffee. Shortly after, somebody comes up behind her and gives her one.
  Laura: I didn't think anybody was gonna do it, really.
  Sam: I want ice cream!
  Matt: I want a pony!
• While Vax is off looting a corpse in a river, Percy finds that the belt he looted from a dwarf king's trapped tomb is a powerful magic item that allows the wearer to resist psychic damage; become immune to paralysis, petrification, and being knocked prone; and cast the Thunderwave spell. Vax promptly returns with his own treasure:
  Vax: Oh, Freddy. Get excited. I found a spyglass covered in diarrhea. Would you like it?
  • Even better: Percy does want it, just as long as Vax cleans it first.
  • Vax also finds a bronze key—a key which would have unlocked the door to the tomb that gave them so much trouble.
    Vax: Oh, that is fuckin' hilarious.
• Travis has a little struggle with numbers.
  Travis: Shit, I can't do reverse math.
  Sam: You mean subtraction?
  (everyone at the table collapses in laughter)
• Pike gets both HDYWTDTs, yet Ashley isn't participating this episode.

Episode 111: Shadows of Thomara

• Scanlan used his unseen servant (dubbed Simon 2) to steal a magic stone from a group of undead. The stone's only purpose was to distract undead, and Simon 2 only had a speed of 10 feet per round. But it somehow worked!
• At the start of the episode, the group argues whether to split the party to cover more ground, only to realize at the last moment that anyone who goes beyond 60 feet of Vex reveals their presence to Vecna. About an hour later, they have the exact same argument, again only remembering Vex's ring at the last moment. Matt doesn't break his poker face until they do, but when he does everyone cracks up as he admits he was this close to screwing them over.
  Taliesin: Whatever we do, we can't split the party... okay, we're going to split the party.
• Scanlan getting part of his face torn off by a Sphere of Annihilation? Horrifying. Sam representing this by squashing half his face while talking for the next few minutes? Hilarious.
• Sam makes a reference to Explorers at some point, and this exchange happens:
  SAM: Have you guys seen The Explorers?
  TALIESIN: I'm in The Explorers, motherfucker.
  SAM (Beat, then very excited): You are?! That's one of my favorite movies of all time! Can I get your autograph?
  TALIESIN: No :)
  (everybody laughs and nerds out)

Episode 112: Dark Dealings

• The party spends almost 20 minutes coming up with an elaborate plan to find the Sword of Kas, which Matt remarks is "so D&D". Not long after they put it into practice, two major flaws become apparent: 1, Vex using Oil of Etherealness going into the Ethereal Plane means she can't interact with Keyleth to tell her where to go, and it takes an hour to wear off. 2, Vex going into the Ethereal Plane means the ring hiding them from Vecna no longer exists on the prime plane, immediately alerting Vecna to their presence. Oops.
  • Just as Keyleth, Vax and Vex start their stealth run in search of the sword, and Keyleth immediately rolls a natural 1, forcing her to beast shape into an earth elemental to hide from gloom stalkers, which Matt describes as Scrooge McDuck hopping into a safe patch of earth.
• Grog attunes to the Sword of Kas...and discovers it's yet another sentient weapon. Matt remarks on how Grog always seems to get those. Further hilarity ensues.
  • Like with Craven Edge, Grog exasperates the sword with his...everything.
    Sword of Kas: The lich must die.
    Grog: The witch?
    Sword of Kas: The lich.
    Grog: Oh, the lich. Yeah. Are you talking about Vecna?
    Sword of Kas: ...Yes.
    Grog: Then yes, we do share similar goals. I don't know if you can hear me very well. Your voice is barely there.
    Sword of Kas: Oh, no.
  • Grog fails a Wisdom save and is dominated by the sword. Matt asks who's closest to him, which turns out to be Vax, but Travis reveals he was planning on attacking Vax anyway.
  • Grog then attacks Vex and lands a couple of nasty hits before the sword's control subsides. Vex punches him, with a roll of fourteen (as she has a negative strength modifier!), and promptly snaps, "Act like it hurt, you fuck!" Grog's deadpan, unconvincing "Ow" is the icing on the cake.
  • Travis, and the rest of the group's, Big "OMG!" reaction when Matt hands him "the biggest item card ever", which Liam says is more like a novel.
  Taliesin: That's a fucking dice tray! That's not a card!
• Pike decided to send a message to Garmelie, in the form of a drawing of a penis along with the written message "Cum see us 4 a good time."
• The return of Artagan. Even Matt was lampshading how weird things got, and how quickly they got there.
  • How weird? As part of a two-part bargain with Vox Machina, Artagan agreed to help the party... if he could strangle "Unkillable" Vax to death. The sheer joy in Travis's face - and disbelief in Sam and Liam's faces - have to be seen to be believed
  Travis: AMAZING! OHH MY GOD!
  Sam: He's into autoerotic asphyxiation?!
  • Right after Vax is strangled, Laura start opening a bag of candy to the group's incredulity...except Taliesin, who promptly mimes enthusiastically eating while watching Vax's strangulation.
  • Marisha's expression of incredulous horror throughout the roleplay of her character's lover being slowly strangled to death by her real-life fiance, culminating in the famous line:
  Marisha: I have to go HOME with you!
  • The rapid zoom of the camera, making Matt/Artagan's creepy expression fill the screen, straddles hilarity and nightmare.

Episode 113: The Final Ascent

• The creation of "Scanlan 2" via Simulacrum leads to a goldmine of moments, such as Matt managing to sing perfectly in-sync with Sam, and Scanlan going to sleep before the final battle spooning his clone. Which becomes a Brick Joke as Matt makes a series of heartwarming call-backs to the story so far as Vox Machina dreams... ending with "spooning a second version of yourself".
• When guest Joe Manganiello comes on, Sam reveals that his mug message for the episode is: "I'm no longer the handsomest guy on CR."
• Arkhan tries to do a "John Wayne" style move by sliding underneath the belly of the gloomstalker he's riding in order to hide from the Briarwoods. Sam asks what gender the gloomstalker is, and Joe plays along by adding that Arkhan is definitely close enough to know. Matt responds that gloomstalkers, being made of shadow and intent, don't have biological genders. Joe spends the rest of the session referring to the gloomstaker as "they", so he can be respectful to the monostrosity that he's basically mindcontrolling.
• "Clarota Healing" gets a 110 Episode Callback, but Sam describes it as Scanlan 2, only knowing the songs that have already been sung, with little of the emotion that Scanlan Prime has.
• The combination of Fenthras and an Animate Dead spell ended up much funnier than it had any right to be, with Matt noting how the third corpse of Delilah Briarwood was having trouble balancing and that a tree was poking Arkhan.
• It's a minor bit of levity after an extraordinarily dark moment, but when Matt ends the game right after the horrifying revelation of Kaylie, Cassandra, and Gilmore being brainwashed and used against the party (who actually killed the first two before realizing what was happening,) Travis has something to say.
  Travis: What did you do?! You Kevin-Spacey-from-Se7en motherfucker, what did you do?!

Episode 114: Vecna, The Ascended

• When Vecna's first spell destroys the top of Thar Amphala, Matt represents it with a map showing the various chunks of the platform on top of stands:
  Marisha: Yeah, he ordered these. They're cake stands. And I was like "Are these for our wedding cake?" and he was like "..."
• Poor Grog gets stuck again in a different dimension thanks to Vecna. His attempt to escape? Roll an Intelligence check to try and find a way out. Naturally he fails, so he has to plan another form of escape. So he gets out his cask of ale, pours himself a drink, and sobs a bit because he doesn't know how to escape.
• Vecna's first attempt to dispel Scanlan-2 is thwarted with a counterspell, specifically with Scanlan singing, "Oh! Look what you made me do! You made me screw you! And now you must brand new!" Funny itself, but Matt underscores the bathos by narrating how Vecna, this ancient lich necromancer deity does a Flat "What".
• The team reacting to Sam/Scanlan getting off a Counterspell that stops Vecna’s attempt to banish Grog and Pike, having seemingly fooled Matt by running into spell-range only to Inspire Grog the previous turn. Liam gapes as he obviously puts the turn together in his head just before Sam crows “That’s why I got closer, motherfucker!”
  • Sam remarks that he learned this trickery from Matt himself, and Liam then does a Darth Vader impression by saying, "Now I am the master".
  • One of the best reactions goes to Ashley though, who gets up out of her chair and briefly runs off, doing a victory dance.
• Pike casts Mass Heal to restore everyone to full, despite Vecna's attempt to counter-spell it, because Zahra's Hex gave him disadvantage on the Arcana check he needed to do. Matt goes silent for a bit, and Mary remarks that steam is coming off his forehead.
• As Zahra and Kash plummet to the ground from Vecna's Hold Monster, Mary shouts "At least the baby will survive!" No one knows if she's joking or not.
  • Just the fact that everyone was so hyped to have Kash and Zahra back, only for them to be immediately taken out of the fight.
• A Brick Joke over 40-episodes long finally pays off, while Vex flies on her broom wearing the pointy hat Scanlan bought for her, Sam asks Matt if he'll allow him to use a Cantrip: Minor Illusion...just to turn her skin green. Matt does.
• The group realizes that Scanlan has low Wisdom and wonders why they never made fun of that more.
  Sam: Why do you think I make stupid, stupid decisions all the time?
  Laura: I just thought you were an asshole!
• Pike's mini breaks during the chaos of the battle, which leads to the cast frantically passing around a tube of superglue to whoever isn't taking their turn at the moment. This escalates into a Funny Background Event when Sam realizes the tube is clogged and that they need scissors or a knife.
  Sam: I can't get any superglue to come out of this shit. I've been biting on it. I've been doing all kinds of shit to it. We need a knife.
  Matt: Well, no wonder it's not coming out.
  Sam: I need a knife or scissors.
  Matt: (laughs) You chewed the end closed!
  Liam: (in the background) Do not chew! Do not chew.
  • And then Arkhan's mini breaks too (the shield came off).
• After banishing Vecna, Arkhan takes the Hand of Vecna that was left behind, cuts off his own hand, attaches Vecna's to the stump, and teleports away, just like that.
  Liam: SEE YOU NEXT CAMPAIGN!

Episode 115: The Chapter Closes

• After finding out that Zahra and Kash are in fact having a baby together, Keyleth drops Kash none-too-gently, but sets Zahra down very carefully. Kash admits that he probably deserved that.
  • Scanlan berates Kash for not pulling out, sending everyone at the table into fits. Keep in mind, this is Scanlan, the man with an illegitimate daughter.
  • They realize that they're still in Thar Amphala on top of the Titan, and Sam tries to see whether or not the Titan itself is falling due to no longer being under Vecna's control. He rolls a 2.
    Scanlan: You're pregnant? WOW!
• Grog asks if someone can find Arkhan's severed hand while he's still dangling from the ruins of Entropis. Keyleth, realizing where he is, asks without even intending it if he needs a hand.
• Kash tries to cast Revivify on Velora, but it doesn't work because she's been dead longer than a minute. Vex is distraught...while Kash, who has no idea who Velora is, asks if she owes Vex money.
• Kash and Zahra have to go help the people of Vasselheim and say brief goodbyes to the party. Kash turns to Grog and says "Love standing next to you in battle, hate standing next to you at the urinal."
• When they find Arkhan's hand, Vax immediately suggests pissing on it while Vex emphatically says no.
  Vax: Grog and I don't share much!
  Percy: ...Except pissing?
• Keyleth wonders what happened to the Raven Queen's trammel, which broke; Matt confirms that it turned to dust. The cast begins joking that they glitter-bombed Vecna.
  Matt: "That was my good eye!"
• After Keyleth is unsuccessful at Scrying on Sylas Briarwood due to him making the necessary saves, Laura suggests instead using Locate Object on his pants. Matt actually has to stop and check the fine print on that spell, and when this is also unsuccessful, he mimes Sylas removing a pair of tearaway pants.
• A few members of Vox Machina send up celebratory signals to let the people below know Vecna has been defeated and sealed away. Percy and Vex send up gold and purple flares, Keyleth uses Skywrite, and Scanlan? Well, he pulls out the gun he took more than 40 episodes prior.
  • Much to Taliesin's chagrin, Sam proceeds to roll a natural 20 on the shot followed by a 28 performance check for gun spinning tricks.
• Taliesin, of all people, rolls a natural one on the Golden Snitch, of all dice, and tosses it away out of irritation. Matt promptly grabs it and grins evilly.
  Matt: Hello, next campaign.
• Grog tries to give the Sword of Kas over to Highbearer Vord, but fails his saving throw to get rid of it. Scanlan goes along with his sudden change of mind, while Pike doesn't:
  Pike: Look at him!
  Scanlan: He's just flexing his face muscles.
  Pike: He's getting all weird.
  Grog (strained): I want to keep it!
  Scanlan: No, he does this when he needs to go poo. I've seen him do it.
  Pike: I know, he definitely does this when he needs to go poo, but this is so much worse!
  Scanlan: I mean, it's been a hard day. I think we all need a really good bowel movement.
• This exchange:
  Vex: We did a thing today.
  Percy: Was that today? Legitimately feels like a week ago at this point.
• Scanlan and Percy trade apologies.
  Scanlan: Well, I'm sorry. Sorry I left.
  Percy: I will not accept it so that when you come to your senses later, you don't feel like you've compromised.
• When the party's meeting for a well-earned drink, a battered Kima joins them and immediately begins enthusing about how awesome it is being able to just stalk all around Vasselheim one-shotting skeletons with no one to report to and no paperwork to file. Halfway through this statement her eyes drift over to Allura, at which point she hastily clarifies that of course she means it's been terrible, just terrible, this whole incident. Absolutely terrible. But amazing.
• This conversation between Percy and Keyleth:
  Keyleth: Thank you, Percy. I learned just the right amount of how to be a shithead.
  Percy: Thank you, Keyleth. (teasingly) I learned nothing from you.
• Allura sends Vox Machina ahead to Whitestone with the paper-thin excuse that she and her wife, who she spends the conversation draped over, need to stay behind to...help with the construction efforts.
  Vex: Oh, I see. Gonna get your construction on?
  Allura: No, we're just going to have—
  Kima: [elbows her in the solar plexus] Yes.
• After they get back to Whitestone and settle in to rest, Grog pulls a card from the Deck of Many Things. He draws The Void, a card which immediately steals his soul from his body and imprisons it within an object and location of the DM's choice, guarded by "one or more powerful creatures". As this happened in the middle of the epilogue, this prompts a very inconvenient two-week detour to the extraplanar Windswept Depths of Pandemonium to retrieve and restore his soul; a jaunt treated by everyone (especially Matt) as more tedious than difficult given that every member of Vox Machina is 19th or 20th level by this point. (Needless to say, Grog's Deck is confiscated.)
  Keyleth: I should be mourning right now, and [instead] I'm hunting your stupid ass down!
  • Scanlan and Percy guilt trip him by claiming that Percy lost his arm while rescuing Grog's soul. Taliesin quickly hides the arm beneath the table.
  Grog: I'm sorry!
  Percy (skeptical): Are you?
  Grog: Beat No.
  • Matt asks what else they want to do. Taliesin declares that he will pull a card from the Deck.
    Taliesin: Spring break, motherfuckers!
• Ashley's internet cuts out twice during the episode. The first is right as Grog draws the Void card, causing her to completely miss the Deck of Many Things incident. The second is right as Pike is about to ask Scanlan on a date.
  • Even better, after the second disconnect and the detour to recover Grog's soul after he pulls the Void Card, the rest of the group is ragging on him, prompting him to apologize. Literally the SECOND after Travis says "Sorry, Pike," there's a little "Hello?" in response, as Ashley's internet reconnects at the perfect moment. The whole group starts cracking up at the timing.
• After teasing his age the entire campaign, Scanlan finally reveals it in the epilogue: At the start of the adventure, he was exactly 69. A young age for a gnome.
• Some time after Wilhand passes away of old age, Pike asks Scanlan for his hand in marriage. Scanlan asks Grog for his blessing.
  Scanlan: Grog, as the father figure in our weird household, I would like to ask for your permission to wed your not-daughter, Pike, who is much smarter and older than you.
  • After Grog naturally gives Scanlan the shovel talk, Scanlan asks Grog if he will carry him down the aisle. Grog tearfully says yes.
• Vex intends to build a statue of Trinket the Wonder Bear, Whitestone's mascot. Marisha snarks "Only you can prevent forest fires".
  Taliesin: Only you can prevent the rise of Vecna.
• The fact that the very last word of the broadcast (and the entire first campaign) is Laura saying "Fuck!"