Critical Role The Bad Guys / Funny

Critical Role 's funny moments
Campaign 1 (Vox Machina): 1-23 | 24-38 | 39-83 | 84-99 | 100-115
Campaign 2 (Mighty Nein): 1-25 | 26-47 | 48-69 | 70-91 | 92-112 | 113-141
Campaign 3 (Bell's Hells): 1-22 | 23-38 | 39-51 | 52-64 | 65-80 | 81-
Critical Role One-Shots

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Episode 26: Found & Lost

Sam's DnD Beyond promo is another radio play, this time depicting the day Travis and Laura's baby was born. Featuring Sam as Travis, Marisha as Laura (who was given inexplicably Purple Prose dialogue...which she has a lot of fun with), and Matt as himself...and the baby, who delivers the promo.
Matt: Mother, I bring news from the womb.
- Liam's response to being the doctor is to look at the camera and snark "A real job, Dad!".
- Sam plays Travis as a meathead jock who's more interested in the Cowboys game than the birth of his baby. The first word comes out of Sam's mouth and Taliesin loses it.
- Matt's line As Himself is pretty funny:
  "Travis": Hey, Matt. Heads up, Laura's having that stupid baby.
  Matt: Oh, yeah! No problem, I'll just throw out the next three weeks of story I'd planned out and totally rework everything to accommodate this. I don't need to sleep...ever.
- The top comment under a clip featuring this skit is gold:
  ItsSargasm: Baby was alive for all of 30 seconds and already he was being portrayed by Matt Mercer.
Marisha says she thought Fjord had a holster for his sword, because he's a "Texblade."
Despite all the players knowing Jester, Fjord and Yasha were taken last night, the entire group rolls horribly on investigation checks.
Sam: Oh my god, we're not even going to know they're gone!
- Finally, someone rolls a Natural 20. Who is it? Frumpkin.
The party's meeting with guest character Keg doesn't exactly get off to a good start.
Caleb: [shouting from the bushes] Make conversation!
Beau: How's your day?
Keg: Weird now.
Beau: Sorry. That happens sometimes.
- How it actually starts is also amazing. Molly sees an approaching figure and assumes hostility, so he approaches with swords drawn. Keg, the figure, sees Molly approaching with swords drawn and assumes they're about to fight, so she draws her weapons too. And then Beau yells from the bushes she's attempting to hide in, asking for feedback as to how she's doing in the stealth department.
  Nott: What's going on?!
  Molly: We don't know!
  Nott: Should I kill something?!
  Molly: Probably!
- Caleb takes out a wire, about to cast Message to communicate with someone (either Keg or one of his allies) mid-confrontation. Liam doesn't even get to finish narrating his action before Beau and Keg get into yelling "What's YOUR fucking name?!" back and forth at each other. Liam then calmly remarks that he puts the wire away.
- Keg complains about her flask being empty, leading to Nott bragging about her Flask of Infinite Booze.
  Nott: Oh, your flask runs out?
  Keg: ...Yes weird creepy doll girl.
  Nott: (Laughs smugly.)
  Keg: Can anyone explain this shit to me?
Detective Nott gets a great call-back after Nott pours Keg a drink and she immediately says "I know who took your friends".
Nott: I AM THE GREATEST DETECTIVE OF ALL TIME! I POUR ONE DRINK AND I SOLVED THE CASE!!
Beau's idea of how to get rid of one of their horses: leave it behind and hang a sign on it saying "Free horse".
The group leaves behind one of their horses, Loaf, leading to poop jokes.
Keg: Starting to rethink my agreement to work with you guys...
Matt: Welcome to the Mighty Nein.
Sam rolls poorly on an attack roll with his crossbow, missing a monster and narrowly avoiding hitting Keg.
Keg: Hey! What the fuck???
Nott: I'm sorry! I'm sorry! That's my fault!
Taliesin: Missed a golden opportunity for "New crossbow. Who dis?"
Marisha's face when Matt tells her that, due to Haste, she still has 75 feet of movement left after pummelling one of the insects to death.
Nott casts Silent Image to create a duplicate of Beau, leading to jokes of it being a Palette Swap in the vein of Street Fighter. The insect rolls high enough to see through it despite its low Intelligence, so it obviously wasn't a very good one.
Matt: It's like: "Really, puce?"
Nott rolls a Natural 20 for stealth.
Matt: You teleport through dimensions. You're now in Campaign 1.
Keg, the dwarf in full plate armour (and thus disadvantage the roll), rolls a Nat 20 on Stealth. Twice. Pike would be green with envy. Matt names Ashly Burch as the Anti-Wil Wheaton.
Nott talks with Keg during watch and... falls victim to poor wording.
Nott: I like tongue. I mean, because I was eating horse tongue before.
Keg: Oh, I thought you were coming on to me.
- Nott promises to tell her one thing about herself if Keg shares one thing about her past. Keg says the Shepherds enslaved one of her friends. Nott replies... that she's a good dancer. Ashly, Sam and Matt all break down in hysterics, followed by Nott and Keg starting to scream at eachother.
  Keg: You were asking me some DEEP DIVE QUESTIONS! You're gonna fucking give me the DANCER shit?!
  Nott: I DIDN'T KNOW, I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TO START SMALL AND THEN BUILD!
  (overlapping shouts)
  Molly: WE'RE TRYING TO SLEEP, FOR GOD'S SAKES!
- Gets a hilarious call-back later when Keg reveals, under Suggestion, that she lied and used to work with the Iron Shepherds.
  Nott: I lied too. I'm an average dancer.
As the group prepares an ambush, Matt says he's going to get the map out so the players can position themselves. Sam is skeptical of this, remarking that Matt would not have been able to predict the group setting an ambush at this exact location and thus prepare a map specifically for it.^note Liam chimes in:
Liam: That would make sense, if he were human.

Episode 27: Converging Fury

Sam's DnD Beyond promo this time invokes Crosses the Line Twice with the events of the last episode. He is reading "letters" that were submitted by fans, all oddly prescient, but swears they were all "from weeks ago, but had been lost in the shuffle of the recent studio move." He also wears a new shirt with a print of Matt grimacing (a still from Episode 14 of him acting out the Ogre guard being hit with the Wand of Smiles), and his flask message is "R.I.P Shirt Bit, 2018-2018 (oh, also Molly)".
Ashly: For my first action, I kill Sam.
Marisha: I love that you lost the printed-out, emailed letters in our move.
Sam: Everyone used the same paper stock and font.
Ashly: They looked really pristine.
Sam: Alright, alright! ....one of them was fake.
Guest character Nila's Fish out of Water status creates a lot of these, especially the Running Gag of not understanding what "fuck" means.
The morning in the Shady Creek Run is greeted by, in Matt's words, "broken-sounding roosters". Nila takes a Goodberry and gives one to each of them as she leaves.
The previous night, Keg unwittingly insults Nott by telling Caleb he "could do better" when assuming he and Nott are a couple. At breakfast, as Nott comes to the table, she finds Keg with a written note and spectacles, which turns out to be a scripted apology to Nott, which she reads out Bad "Bad Acting" style. Beau says she could learn a thing or two.
Keg rolls a Natural 1 for stealth, in complete contrast to the previous episode. Matt describes it as sounding like someone knocked over a stack of pots and pans, so everyone's reaction is "Screw This, I'm Outta Here!"
When staying the night, Beau hires some "companionship" to spend the night with. By the time they arrive, she's so drunk that she barely seems to remember hiring them, and tries to initiate casual conversation before the lady just pushes her into the room to get to business.
Matt: (does a chopping motion into his hand) Cut to black.
- Since Beau, a human, ended up spending the night with an elf that looks "a bit older" than her, and elves age very differently from humans (lifespans of 750+ years, considered adults at 100), the players take a moment teasing Marisha about being a "cougar".
  Liam: You're probably nailing a two hundred and fifty year old.
  Marisha: Hot!
- Also, after hearing that the woman Beau hired is an elf, Liam promptly starts flipping through a rulebook to figure out the age as mentioned above. Not knowing what he's doing, Sam asks if he's looking up a spell.
When Caleb has a brief panic attack after meeting their Shadycreek Run contact, Nila gives him a goodberry. Matt says the feeling of warmth and revival is not unlike when Jester would revive people from the brink of death.
Liam: Member?
Marisha: Member bewwies... Member Jesterrrr?
Liam: Oh, member clerics?
Marisha: Oh yeah, I member.

Episode 28: Within the Nest

Sam's DnD Beyond promo involves Fun with Acronyms to help remember DnD Beyond's features. Sam writes them down on a whiteboard... and they just happen to spell out "Liam Eats Farts" when read downward.
- What sells this is that Sam originally wrote "LIAM EATS FART" due to only having four acronyms, and in the middle of his explanation nonchalantly adds an "s" at the end without breaking his stride.
Sam puts his flask where Taliesin normally sits, and the note taped to it reads: "This flask is Taliesin's new character".
For a moment, the planning derails into suggesting starting a debating club in Shady Creek.
While the party are trying to decide what to do next, Keg asks them how well they think the missing members will be holding up under torture.
Nott: Fjord, probably not. Yasha's probably okay. Jester has already turned. She's flipped.
Keg: Oh, then there's no rush!
As the group trek to the Blooming Grove, they try to cautiously creep up on the temple in the middle, but Nott gets snagged on a vine and catches the attention of its inhabitant. Everyone is holding their breath, wondering what fresh hell they just unleashed... and then Taliesin enters, wearing a shirt that reads "NEW CHARACTER WHO DIS".
Liam: You're really just a random shopkeep in the woods?!
- Said new character, Caduceus Clay, is a firbolg. Naturally, Nott asks him if he knows Pumat Sol.
- Caduceus's Establishing Character Moment is also hilarious; he looks at the motley crew in front of him (hobo wizard, goblin, firbolg lady, armored dwarf, and Beau) and just sighs, walking back inside the temple while muttering about how he doesn't have enough teacups for everyone.
When filling Caduceus in on what they experienced, Beau solemnly tells him they're dealing with some great tragedies... the first of which is that it's time for Caleb to have another bath.
Beau: Being without a shower has been a bit of a tragedy.
Caleb: Do we really have time for a comedy bit like this?
Beau: (sadly) No...
To test if Caduceus can really heal, Nott shoots Beau with her crossbow. The first is a miss, but the second is a Natural 20. Beau's missile snaring ability still reduces the shot to no damage... until Sam reminds Matt that when he rolls a Nat 20 with this crossbow, it fires another bolt immediately. This one ends up right between two ribs.
Beau: YOU COULD'VE FUCKING KILLED ME!
Caduceus: Is [Nott] always like this? This seems... kind of extreme.
Nott: (To Caduceus) Do your thing!
Beau: I'm keeping this bolt. This is mine now. (Pulls out the other bolt from her chest) And I'm keeping this one too.
Ashly: Keg is aroused again.
Nott gives Caduceus the nickname "Deuce", which quickly spreads to the rest of the group. Taliesin gets progressively more annoyed at this, to the point that he even tells Sam in character as Caduceus that he's already regretting the name.
Taliesin: Back to high school.
To salvage a botched stealth check, Caleb sends Frumpkin near the guard. The same guard who tried to shoot him last episode. This time, he hits and does 4 points of Piercing damage, and everyone braces for the worst... but:
Liam: Frumpkin is alive! [...] His hit points as an owl is 1d4 + 1, and I rolled a 4.
- Which leads to:
  Guard: Phil! Hey Phil! I just shot an owl and it's still flyin'! I hate this forest, it's bullshit!
Caduceus' thoughts on the guard.
Caduceus: I'm sure he's a terrible person, he shot an owl.
The same two guards have trouble with Frumpkin again later in the night, this time in spider form. They still can't kill him.
The group manages to dispatch the two patrol guards so quickly and efficiently (Nott and Keg using a crossbow and a makeshift harpoon; Caleb, Beau and Nila using Hold Person then throwing him off the wall) that it swings back around to being hilarious.
Matt: One of them was enjoying the wind and then darkness forever. The other got a cramp, and then just got bludgeoned from all sides after being jammed in the dirt, and then expired.
Ashly: (laughing) "And then darkness forever..." Aw, thats so sad!
Matt: It was the end of The Sopranos for 'em, man!
One of the guards, Phil, becomes the Butt-Monkey.
Hideous Laughter returns.
Nott: Hey! I'm thinking of removing my spine! Because it's... holdin' me back!
Nott unlocking the trapped trap door with a reach around.
Nott: A reach around. Give it a little tuggy with the reach around. Just pull it. Pull it. Just tug it until it explodes. Just reach around and tug it until it explodes! Just keep on working it! Might have to use the other hand for a while, that one's getting tired, Matt! Wait for the explosion!
Matt: (exasperated) Roll... roll for reach around.
In the middle of the tear jearking and heartwarming scene between Nila and her family, Nott makes an attempt to pick the lock to free her husband... and Sam rolls a natural 1. Resigned Sam decides to do an investigation check on the room so Nott can find some keys to the cage and rolls a natural 1 yet again, much to everyone's awe and laughter.

Episode 29: The Stalking Nightmare

The costumes are amazing:
- Brian's wearing a sequinned jacket, leather pants and Crocs with glitter in his beard. The jacket also has 69 drawn on the back.
- Liam's next, and his shirt has Frumpkin wearing laser-shooting glasses.
- Marisha comes out in a blouse and pants with Sam's rainbow suspenders from the Campaign 2 opening.
- Ashly and Taliesin follow, as themselves but in vaguely formal outfits.
- Sam comes out in a pink dragon-like outfit, on rollerskates, with a lit-up bowl on his crotch.
- Matt comes out as Matt... but then removes his vest to show a shirt of Sam's face to an utterly priceless reaction from all.
Poor Keg goes through almost all the episode being the Butt-Monkey to the group's plans or actions.
- It starts with Caleb going invisible using a scroll of invisibility, then doing a Stealth Hi/Bye when she expresses fear he might have left her.
- He also has Frumpkin appear on her shoulder, but Frumpkin is still a spider, causing Keg to Freak Out for a second.
- Shakäste has The Duchess land on her shoulder, which causes Keg to freak out again. Shakäste lampshades how The Duchess is a bird and not a spider.
Shakäste returns! His new Spiritual Weapon takes the form of Nefertiti... and he brings out a life-size statue that has some light-up features (which he says he bought as soon as he saw it downstairs at the convention). He then proceeds to whiff on every single one of her attacks... except for using her to flip a switch.
- The leadup to his return deserves mention too, as it's foreshadowed by The Duchess making an appearance before quickly flying away, much to Keg's confusion. This prompts a member of the live audience to shout "The audience is aroused!"
Caleb's adventures with invisibility. On the one hand, him not being able to cast any spells without giving it up renders him mostly useless in any conflict (which itself is mostly Played for Laughs), but on the other, he has such ridiculous events as pointing (invisibly) at something and saying it is in the direction he is pointing, apparently forgetting nobody else can see it.
Caduceus tries to help remove the iron portcullis trapping the group in the hallway, and rolls a one looking for the switch due to his negative Investigation modifier. Cue Caduceus getting distracted by a piece of moss on the wall.
Shakäste proves to be quite the charmer once again, managing to find time to subtly work his charm on both Keg, and one of the Iron Shepherds remaining leaders at every point. Keg especially is caught off guard by it.
Beau, Keg, and Nott get caught up on planning what Keg should yell for Nott's Silent Image bait, resulting in a good minute of the three discussing the best insult to say to get the remaining enemies attention. Then comes (invisible) Caleb asking what they are doing in a frustrated tone.
In the middle of revealing a room that the Duchess can see, Matt's map, which has the shape of a large square with two smaller squares on either side, is acknowledged as looking like something else entirely.
Sam: The map looks like a cock and balls!
Liam: Spoilers!
Matt: Hopefully not, proportionally. That'd be a little sad.
After Caleb insisting that Clay and Shakäste will heal him... he ends up the only one that Shakäste isn't able to target with Mass Healing Word due to having moved beyond his view.
While wearing down a stunned Lorenzo, Beau wraps up an especially damaging round. Then this exchange ensues, and both Taliesin and the audience realize Keg has a genuine shot at capping off her personal and party narrative arcs by killing Lorenzo outright:
Matt: Keg?
Sam: Yes.
Ashly: [rubs hands together gleefully]
After having to watch the Iron Shepherds kill Frumpkin, Caleb gets the HDYWTDT on Lorenzo. The last thing he says to his smoldering remains in a tired, bloodloss-drunken voice:
Caleb: ...You shouldn't have killed my cat.
- While normally Caleb's love for Frumpkin would be a CMOH it edges into abject hilarity on account of the fact that, of course, in addition to kidnapping, enslaving, and torturing his friends Lorenzo did very much also kill Mollymauk.
- And then there's the first thing he says after Matt gives him the HDYWTDT:
  Caleb: Oooooooh well fuck me running, it worked!
- Matt's reaction when he realizes Caleb's spell killed Lorenzo deserves mention, mostly because of how the crowd reacts to it. For bonus points, some guy in the audience shouted "For Molly!" while Matt was calculating the damage of the spell that avenged the fallen member of the Nein. Never has a fan created accidental Five-Second Foreshadowing before, but damn if it isn't hilarious here.
  Matt: Fffuck. How do you want to do this?
  The crowd goes ape shit
- Ashly Burch's reaction to how exactly Caleb finishes Lorenzo off. Better because of the many seconds-long Beat after he declared it in the first place.
  Ashly: What the fuck?!
- Honestly, everything punch drunk Caleb brings to the episode. Talking to himself, being surprised and impressed with himself for killing the Big Bad, stating it was for killing Frumpkin (which Lorenzo did not actually even do), and wandering in and out of and around the battle arena.
The Mighty Nein finally find Jester, Fjord, and Yasha, unconcious, and locked in very sturdy cells. Nott volunteers to pick the locks, despite rolling HORRIBLY for it for nearly 4 episodes. Clay, interested, decided to watch. Nott says she "doesn't work well with crowds" all the while Sam is giving side eye to the LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE. But what pushes this from funny to gut-busting hilarity? The natural 20.
When the Nein ask Shakäste and Keg if they want to stay with them (at least for a drunken bender), Beau takes the opportunity to proposition the dwarven fighter to stay with her for the night. While everyone is providing double-take reactions to Beau's offer, Sam provides the literal obligatory Mic Drop.
As Matt is ending the episode, he mentions that the party turns in looking forward to enjoying comfort, alcohol, and whatever else transpires after that. Ashly, however, gets straight to the point and calls what the "whatever else" is for Beau and Keg:
Ashly: Sex. It's sex. Lots of sex.

Episode 30: The Journey Home

Since this is Travis & Laura's first show back after Laura gave birth, Sam uses D&D Beyond's sponsorship time to "bring them up to speed":
Sam: Laura, the new wi-fi password is "DallasSux", with an X
Travis: (angry cough)
Sam: Travis, we rented out your parking spot to Brian Foster. The cardboard box he lives in will be parked there until September 15th.
Laura: I thought he was in the cage!
Sam: The Wayfarer's Guide to Eberron, The Guildmaster's Guide to Ravnica are both available on D&D Beyond.
Travis: Oh good! I'm writing this down.
Sam: Travis, while you were gone, we discovered Fjord's middle name is Bronco, so that's canon now. Laura, while you were gone, your dice were all loaned to Wil Wheaton for a little while.
Laura: (glaring at her dice bag) Oh no...
Sam: The break room is open to all, but from 9:00 to 11:00 in the morning, Max uses it to poop. We have a code system for reserving the makeup room so no one walks in: If you're breastfeeding, hang a sock on the door. If you're waxing Sam Riegel's chest hair, you hang a bandana on the door, and if you're having sex, leave the door open, 'cause that's kinky. Travis, we reinforced your chair to accommodate your baby weight.
Travis (sobbing): It's real! Guys can get it, too!
Sam: Laura, you are a perfect creature who creates magical life with the power of womanhood. Uh, Taliesin's new character is a cleric, so you don't have to heal anyone.
Laura: Fuck yes!
Sam: Liam shaved; it's Ashley's birthday; Marisha no longer thinks sleeves are bullshit, now she thinks they're assholes. All firbolgs know each other. If you go number one, please use the bathroom marked "Peeastock"; if you go number two, use the one marked "Hupperdook"... and there are flies motherfucking everywhere in the studio.
Sam confuses Laura not being present for Episode 25 for Jester not being there.
Nott: Kiri is fine. [...] We found a new home for her.
Jester: I know, I was there! I said goodbye to her.
Nott: Oh, you did.
Jester: I understand how you would think, because I wasn't quite myself...
While the group loots the Sour Nest, Caduceus somehow ends up in the kitchen and starts cooking. It was a nice kitchen!
Caleb was heavily wounded by Lorenzo during the fight and Caduceus was out of spell slots. After some delay Jester finally heals Caleb. The group immediately lampshades it.
Nott: What's that new magic you used? Amazing!
(*everyone laughs*)
Marisha: (out of character) Healers are like cats. You have to have two so they can keep each other motivated.
Travis: One's just fat and never moves.
Keg leaves a farewell letter for Nott, and fittingly, the spelling is terrible. Beau also gets a letter, and it only takes a glance for Marisha, Travis and Liam to burst into hysterics. Turns out, it's an attempt at saying something romantic... that's all crossed out and replaced with just "thanks".
As the group leaves Ophelia Mardun's residence, Nott reveals that she named all the horses in their yard: Waterloo, Fernando, Mamma Mia and Dancing Queen. She has to leave two behind, and the group unanimously agrees to keep Mamma Mia (Nott also keeps Dancing Queen).
Jester tried to eavesdrop on a conversation by using Channel Divinity - Cloak of Shadows... Without realizing it only gives her 12 seconds of invisibility. Matt deadpans that it was the best use of Channel Divinity in DnD history.
Nott: Maybe next time you use it, it will have a purpose.
Marisha: Yeah, I was gonna say, I do not miss Sam Riegel giving me shit about my spell usage.
Caduceus's first foray into a bar doesn't go great, since he doesn't drink alcohol and has never had milk before. When he figures out that he doesn't like milk either, Nott asks the barkeeper if they have any tea.
Barkeeper: ...You're joking, right?
- Nott then decides to just order something alcoholic anyway, and gives Caduceus (who, again, has never had alcohol) a shot of whiskey. Caduceus downs the shot in one go, then immediately spits it all back out and goes into a coughing fit.
  Caduceus: (hoarsely) Is it supposed to do that...?
  Nott: Oh yes, very much. The earth is calling you to her.
  - While trying to convince Caduceus to drink the whiskey, Nott tries to make it sound appealing by explaining that whiskey is made by putting grains in a barrel and letting them decompose. Taliesin then breaks character to ask if Caduceus would know that that's not how whiskey is made, concludes that he obviously wouldn't know that, then has to "finish being angry at Sam" before he can get back into character.
- Caduceus is then given another glass of milk to take the edge off, prompting more disgusted faces and him wondering out loud if this is really what people drink.
  Fjord: (giggling) A milk chaser for your whiskey?
  Beau: (stage-whisper) Someone give him a White Russian!
- Many drinks later, Caduceus is somehow still mostly sober, and his opinion about alcohol has not changed.
  Caduceus: I've had six drinks, I'm in the biggest city I've ever been in, everything tastes terrible! I don't even know what these last two are, they're just terrible.
  Beau: You don't drink it 'cause it tastes good.
  [...]
  Nott: Have you not thrown up yet?
  Caduceus: Is that part of- Are you supposed to?
  Nott: You will.

Episode 31: Commerce & Chaos

Sam's promo this time... is a "country song" for DnD Beyond. It goes in... weird directions.
Sam: [singing] DnD Beyond... be my girl tonight...
Matt's recap is interrupted when he sees Sam's flask, and it's a picture from his first days in acting and is a 'head shot' of him dressed up as a doctor, completely breaking his stride.
Nott and Jester forging a letter to the Soltryce Academy asking after Astrid is pretty funny by itself but Liam's reaction heightens the comedy even further. He clearly wants to interrupt or stop them but since Caleb isn't part of the scene he can only Face Palm as they write their letter.
- The letter itself is a request for contact information, saying that Astrid had recently inherited a large sum of money from her uncle. The fake name Nott comes up with is Leonard Highfin, but Jester thinks he's saying "hyphen", so the fake name becomes "Leonard-Leonard". From the town of Nigeria.
Matt makes Jester roll a dexterity check when sealing a forged letter. He explains...
Matt: There is a difference between candle wax and sealing wax. How do I know this? Because I've made that mistake in the past. While sealing letters for previous D&D campaigns.
Caduceus gets to meet the Pumat Sols. The Pumats are completely taken with seeing another Firbolg in Zadash and Caduceus is adorably confused for a good 15 minutes while the 3 simulacra come out and then bring out Pumat Prime. Once they explain the nature of the duplicates to him he is utterly charmed by their existence and thinks it's all very nice and cool.
- Jester gets annoyed when the simulacra are simply called arcane copies, and starts ranting about how they're all unique personalities. The Pumats seem more amused by this than anything.
Beau is excited to get her weekend of training with Tubo underway...and he takes her up into the library to study. Caleb shoots her a smile and two thumbs-up from across the hall; she flips him off.
Beau spends her downtime training with the Cobalt Soul, overseen by a monk named Tubo. Her final challenge involves facing him and two other monks, all with bow and arrows. Leading to this quip from Sam.
Sam: Tubo vs Beau with bows!
Liam: Bobobo-bo-bobobo!
Beau comments that after her training, she can now punch ghosts. Caduceus is surprised, and Beau asks him if he's ever met a ghost that didn't need punching. She then continues talking with Fjord while Taliesin stares contemplatively into the distance for a solid minute, and when finally shaken out of his thoughts declares that yes, he has met a ghost that didn't need punching. And he was thinking about it so much that he didn't hear any of the other conversation.
Matt, while giving exposition to Caleb, uses the phrase "Penetrate the Kryn Dynasty's boundaries". Matt immediately looks to Laura, fully aware of what her reaction will be.
In the lead up to the grand escape from the church of the Platinum Dragon, Nott decides to turn into an older Gnome lady to convince the guards to leave. Sam doesn't even try to sound convincing on account of Nott lacking info on the location, even claiming that the holy water needed to be replaced every thirty days, and that it was the thirty day mark.
- Following that is Jester, using Disguise Self to look like the head priest, trying to convince them to leave as well. Laura's old man voice has to be heard to be believed.
- Of the two priests they need to convince to leave, one quickly does so. The other needs some convincing. Jester, still acting like an old man, simply continues to gesture for him to leave. When that doesn't work, Nott, disguised as Jester's newly-hired assistant, chips in:
  Nott: I think what His Holiness is trying to convey is that he will be going on a spiritual journey and there's only room on that train for one dude.
  Jester: (old man voice, still gesturing) Scoot on out. Scoot it.
Jester vandalizes the statue of the Platinum Dragon with a rainbow of paint and Clay's straw hat, but she's caught just as she's adding the mustache. The next half hour is all about Jester and Nott escaping from an increasing number of Crownsguard while Jester uses all of her spells to hilarious effect.
- Nott tries to help Jester by claiming that the real head of the church died during all the chaos, and rolls so badly on her Deception check that her already-poor roll is increased by her bonus of -3. The guards attack and quickly capture her in what can only be described as a giant hamster ball.
- Jester attempts to escape by hiding, only to be found due to poor stealth roll. She casts Blink to escape and initially celebrates escaping, only for Travis to remind Matt that Blink requires a roll to see if you actually blink out. Laura rolls below a ten, meaning Jester didn’t vanish, which Matt retcons as Jester disappearing & then simply reappearing within the same second. The look on Laura's face is priceless as she scrambles to cast another spell to escape.
- At one point Jester uses Mirror Image to try and fool the guards, only for her to roll above a ten on her Blink check, resulting in her vanishing & then reappearing 10 feet away. Since Mirror Image makes a copy of the person, it causes the copies to vanish, and then reappear as well. The guards trying to chase are completely floored at the vanishing and reappearing copies.
- Travis points out how much crap Laura gave him, Taliesin, Sam, and Liam for their failed hospital trip back in episode 12. By the end, Travis claims that Jester and Nott's botched escape eclipsed anything like it from the first campaign, putting on the same level as Scan-bo - which, fittingly enough, took place in episode 31 of the first campaign.
  Travis: That is easily the most fucked two characters have ever been, to a full reversal. That is the deepest fuckage we've ever dipped a toe in.
- And finally, there is the unintentional hilarity of Jester committing extreme blasphemy (painting a statue of Bahamut in chromatic colors), entirely by accident.
As the Nein head to the Menagerie Coast, Jester messages Yasha to inform her of their plans. Because it's Jester, it takes her multiple castings to get the point across.
Sam: 7 spell slots later, and Yasha gets "You have... 7... new messages."

Episode 32: Beyond the Boundaries

While travelling, Caleb suggests to Caduceus that he should ask Jester to show him the artifact the Nein got from Theron way back Episode 13. However his cryptic suggestion referring to it only as the "thingy in her bag" leads to this conversation, which highly implies that Jester showed him some of her sex toys.
Jester: (grimacing) Which thingy?
Caduceus: I don't know, Caleb is being really shifty about it
Jester: (still grimacing) There's some really questionable thingies in here, (suddenly cheerful) but you can see them if you want!
- Jester, of course, takes the opportunity to continue her trend of having raunchy Ship Tease with most of the party.
  Jester: (pointing to something in her bag) And then there's that thingy, (whispering) Caleb doesn't know about it, but he will later.
  (Liam shoots a knowing Aside Glance at the camera)
After Jester makes a joke about the Lawmaster of Alfield having a small penis, Fjord asks Jester about how many penises she saw in her life, resulting in several minutes of the conversation spiralling out of control from Jester proclaiming she saw Molly's and it was colorful, to Caleb saying Molly's looked nasty with several innuendos. Bryce takes the opportunity to excuse themselves.
Matt's description of the scenic ride back towards Trostenwald.
Matt: You're kind of enjoying the details of it as you pass by; the field mice that occasionally scurry across the road... and get snatched up by a hawk and you're like, 'yup, that's how it happens.'
Taliesin rolls an extraordinarily high Insight check when the party is talking to Gustav, a character that Caduceus Clay has never met. Clay sizes him up so well that it freaks the party out and Nott demands to know if Clay is psychic or precognitive, leading to a beautiful pun.
Nott: How and when will Fjord die?
Clay: In a terrible crash... with a man named Buick.
- Amusingly, you can see Matt jott down a note, or mime doing so, right after.
Fjord's description of Caduceus as "tall magical cow". Earlier in the episode Travis, out of character, compared Caduceus to a 7 ft. tall Bob Ross.
Beau makes a persuasion check on Lawmaster Norda in an effort to lower to price to bail out Gustav. Fjord inquires with Matt if he can help her to give advantage. Matt asks what Fjord says to help her. Fjord takes a second... and starts an impromptu song and dance routine.
Fjord: (singing) Listen to Beau, she knows the sco'. ^notescore
- It works and for the first time since the group has seen her, a smile curles across Norda's face.
Caduceus thinks a little bit too hard and starts to bleed from his nose.
Jester: Does that happen when you think really hard?
Caduceus: ... What?
The Ettins that try to ambush the group get discovered thanks to Caduceus rolling a natural 20 on his Perception check, and he proceeds to ruin the ambush by casting Calm Emotions on the most visible one, resulting in it simply waving at the group as they try to pass by. Turns out Matt had planned for them to fight them and even brings out a model for it.
- The unaffected Ettin starts arguing with the one that was affected by Calm Emotions because Caduceus starts talking to them as if they were close friends, which throws off the unaffected one since Caduceus can speak Giant.
- Travis is utterly confused throughout the entire exchange, including when Caleb casts Fear on the unaffected one, unsure how to take this non-encounter.
Caleb's PTSD mechanic (roll a Wisdom saving throw against Stun after a fire-based kill) causes some unanticipated side effects after he uses a Fireball to blow up the last of the ambushing Ettin: Beau, who was Enlarged by Caleb during the battle, grabs the stunned Caleb and throws him over her shoulder to rejoin the party ... except that Enlarge is a concentration-based spell, and Stun breaks concentration, so Beau shrinks back down to normal, loses her boosted strength, and gets staggered by the weight of Caleb's body over her shoulder.
The party encounters a travelling pet shop. Travis, Liam and Taliesin realize very early on that this meeting and the resulting purchases will cause chaos in the next episodes. Within a few minutes, Taliesin verbally regrets playing a vegetarian, they start a pool for bets about which animal would die first, and Liam quasi-angrily accuses Matt: "Why did you put this in front of us?" To which Matt nods proudly, witnessing the chaos of Beau and Jester buying three new pets, and answers with a big grin "You know exactly why. Because it's funny."
- Not to mention that Travis realizes what's about to happen as soon as the vendor starts showing off the animals.
The girls are squeeing over a pair of twin tiger cubs
Travis/Fjord: No, no, no, no, no...
Sam: One girl, two cubs...
- The kicker is that Liam is keeping Caleb within the Leomund's Tiny Hut he'd set up, glaring at Jester while aggressively petting Frumpkin - the Nein already have a mascot animal, and Frumpkin doesn't need competition.
- Despite the above entry, Liam completely breaks character when he realizes one of the animals for sale is a Blink Puppy, before quickly playing the Meta-Gaming Pigeon card.
- The whole time this is going on, Caduceus is mostly watching, because Taliesin is conflicted between out of character, and in character, suggesting that while Taliesin wants one, Caduceus is not as much invested in getting one. It doesn't help that one of the animals is a peacock, which Sam jokingly says was there for Taliesin.

Episode 33: The Ruby and the Sapphire

Sam's D&D Beyond goes above and beyond in insulting the Dallas Cowboys as Sam fakes his heart exploding, complete with detonating blood squibs, only to reveal that he was wearing a "Keep Calm and Hate Dallas" shirt underneath it when Laura pulls it off him to "save" him.
Jester discusses what caused her to have to leave home, commenting that the Lord she tricked was named Sharp, but that he wasn't "very sharp". Beau assumes she meant that he was an idiot, while Jester meant something else. As Jester makes her joke, Matt can be seen looking to the side with a smirk on his face, mildly shaking his head.
Nott vs Crab. For context, Nott sees a crab touch Caleb's clothes while she's watching them, so she lunges for it. She only manages to grab it due to its Dex roll being very low, but it pinches her thumb as she does. She crushes it with her knee, but only due to, again, it rolling low on Dexterity.
Nott: You fought bravely. More bait.
- Notably, this is something of a Funny Background Event. While this is going on, Jester is playing with Nugget, Caleb is swimming, and Beau is meditating. The only person possibly paying attention to Nott almost losing a fight to a crab is Fjord, who makes zero effort to help.
Caleb's still floating in the ocean wearing "one thing" (his anti-scrying necklace, no doubt). Jester makes sure to yell out "We can still see your weenie!", and Fjord decides to Misty Step right next to him to scare him, resulting in Caleb inhaling a lungful of seawater and Fjord trying to comfort him while he hacks it all back up.
We find out what Beau decided to name her owl: Professor Thaddeus.
Beau: I wasn't sure if he looked more like a "Professor" or a "Thaddeus", so I thought...
Caduceus: Why not both?
- After an hour-long training session, Matt explains that Professor Thaddeus probably likes Caduceus more than Beau.
Taliesin later tells the others he named the seagull Beau fed to Thaddeus. Steven. He's force to explain that it comes from Steven Seagal.
- As a bit of a Brick Joke, Travis's disguised persona is named "Steven Chagall". It's noted that those two imitations shouldn't be mixed together.
The group discusses the law in Nicodranas, from theft to murder and everything in between. Beau wonders where mail fraud falls on that scale.
Nott: That's the worst. That's the worst crime there is. (...) When Caleb and I were in the clink, there was a guy in there had committed mail fraud.
Beau: Yeah?
Nott: He was fucked up by every other prisoner in there.
Jester introducing her mother to Clay:
Jester: He doesn't know anything about sex and he drinks dead people tea!
- The fake blood from the D&D beyond skit ended up staining Sam's hands, and it's still there when he decides to have Nott drop her Disguise Self in front of Marion. Cue a goblin girl with bloodied hands introducing herself to the Ruby of the Sea.
  Nott: This is seagull blood, not human blood.
Jester on being a Cleric.
Jester: [Proudly] I can heal people, mom!
Nott/Sam: She can heal people... She is able to.
When discussing alcohol, Laura brings up the cast in-joke of Sam's wine aerator.
Jester: We'll bring up the aerator!
Nott: Aerator? What's that?
Marian: It's a Cantrip. (actually uses her magic to do so)
Marion describes her difficulty in getting the charges against Jester lifted, explaining that Lord Sharpe is an incredibly prideful man and that while he knows not to attack her directly, the situation is complicated. Nott...proposes a solution.
Nott: Hypothetically, if he were to pass away, would the charges disappear with him?
Marion: Well...well, yes, but I would not insinuate such a dark thing.
Fjord: Nott...
Nott: Yeah, yeah.
Fjord: Remember what we talked about, criminal charges?
Nott: Right. That's "murder"...
The party accidentally stumbles on a major revelation (that The Gentleman might be Jester's father), Taliesin adds some perfectly in-character Mood Whiplash.
Caduceus: Oh my god, your mother knows The Gentleman, that's so cool!
- Notably, the reason the stumble on what Matt later admitted was supposed to be a late-game reveal...was Marion calling Fjord a "gentleman" and word-association kicking in for Marisha.
Jester attempts to carefully send a 20 words message, after having most of her messages cut off halfway through, and Taliesin counts the words out of character. Eventually this is the message that The Gentleman would receive.
Jester: Hello, Gentleman. This is Jester. Please respond, just yes, if you've seen the Ruby. Please. Is that twenty? OH AH SHIT—
The fact that in a party where 5 of 6 members could cast Disguise Self, nobody thought to Disguise themselves as The Gentleman in front of Marion to confirm whether this was the case.
Jester being fixated on sleeping in the boob of the Mother's Lighthouse, or even just going into it. Turns out it's all solid, no way in.
When the group find a Mage Tower in the city, Beau has this to say to Caleb.
Beau: Do you have wizard envy? It's okay, it's a pretty large tower.
Speaking of the Mage Tower, Beau attempts to scale its entirely smooth surface and (obviously) fails, falling on her behind. Matt looks in the Player's Handbook for something Travis assumes to be fall damage (but which turns out to be the Monk ability Slow Fall). Then Liam and Marisha have this exchange.
Liam: Yeah, it's 1d6 per ten feet!
Marisha (pointedly): Yeah, I know this math.

Episode 34: Encroaching Waters

We finally meet Orly, the Fireside Chat NPC, and his implanted bagpipes.
Nott tries to intimidate the bar by claiming there's a horde of goblins outside. Matt doesn't even have her roll for her terrible Deception.
Beau's chatty spring break tourist persona Tracy is a wonder to behold - she even captures the zelezzo's heart.
- Following that, her (understandable) reaction following; she needs a thorough shower after actually flirting with a guy for information, and asks they not talk about it anymore.
Fjord: Where. Did that. Come from.
Beau: (unsettled) I dunno, I think it was something deep down inside of me that I actually really hate.
In the midst of a tense fight in the Sluiceweave, several of the cast (including Matt) decide to start referencing the viral Dexter video based around "Surprise, motherfucker."
Sam, on the fight against Algar.
Sam: I just want to point out that your mom said "this guy is bothering me", and we blew him up and attacked him with tentacles.
Octopus Frumpkin was good at seeing things, but not at squeezing through grates. Matt ruled the twin failures as being unused to that form.
The group forgets they have both Nugget, and the weasel with them, resulting in the group freaking out at the realization their pets will drown. Caduceus even asks Nugget if he wants to go with them, all while Travis proclaims the pets are gonna die.
Caleb using a Suggestion spell to help Nott get used to swimming, with Beau volunteering to let her ride Dolphin style so she has something to hold onto. That's not the funny part. The funny part is that Sam roleplayed Nott screaming the entire time, doing a quiet high pitched scream as Beau swam away from the boat.
Seeing Caleb face down in the water and unconscious, Nott uses her Mage Hand to force-feed him a potion. Matt has Caleb make a Strength saving throw to avoid breaking a tooth. (Having a glass phial rapidly shoved in your mouth will do that) He's really disappointed when Caleb passes (with a Natural 20, no less).
The first water wave spell knocked Fjord and Yasha backwards, but not Caleb who was standing right behind them - Matt ruled that Caleb was knocked prone anyway due to the impact of the two larger fighters.
Black Comedy ensued when Caduceus was whelmed and taking death saves, as the cast joked that Taliesin would be making another new character (Taliesin claimed to be out of ideas).
- Added to that, Caduceus spent a long time inside the water elemental and making death saves, so Taliesin never had a chance to even attempt to get out.
Jester's lollipop came out with a razor-spiked edge.
During the Hunger of Hadar, it was joked that Travis had just cast hentai.
- Later, they wondered whether the tentacles of that spell could wield the Lollipop. Laura's roll to his was successful, so Matt said "That's what happened".
When Algar hits 0 HP, he's in the Hunger. The party cheers him hitting 0, but Matt reminds them that none of them could know it at that time. They move from elation to disappointment.
Nott during the entire episode is firmly against going into the water, to the point where she attempts to persuade the Water Elemental not to fight them because she's terribly afraid of water. Sadly she doesn't roll high enough, but still hilarious given the situation. Add to this the irony of everyone trying to convince her that water isn't all that bad being followed by beings made of water trying to kill them.

Episode 35: Dockside Diplomacy

Sam's D&D Beyond promo is a special ad created using all the amazing special effects their sponsorship money goes towards ...All none of them.
Matt: One day, your escalation is going to be the end of us all.
Sam: Guys, for D&D Beyond this week I brought a loaded gun!
Matt makes sure to remind the party in the Previously on… that they almost drowned their pets in the last episode.
Upon seeing Fjord's raised spectre, Caduceus freaks out and instinctively casts Turn Undead. This happens on two later occasions.
Caduceus heals everyone. Jester takes advantage of this to say she's healing everyone too when she actually isn't.
Fjord casts Disguise Self to make him look like Algar, and Jester uses her Disguise Kit to try and make the real Algar look like someone different. Her roll is... average.
Matt: Algar now looks like a weird uncle... of Algar.
Back at the hotel, Beau fails several Animal Handling checks for Professor Thaddeus, before resorting to yelling expletives at him. This is the check that succeeds. Thaddeus must be a fan of tough love.
Matt contemplates what kind of check Fjord needs to make to swim.
Matt: How do I want to do this?
Sam: That's your autobiography title!
Matt: I know. There you go. I walked into that one.
The trainwreck of bad rolls that ensues when the Nein try to sneak up on Marius. Fjord rolls a low Acrobatics check and splashes into the water, Jester tries to use Thaumaturgy to pass it off as a dolphin noise, but rolls badly on Performance. The ship's crew start getting suspicious, so Beau brings back "Tracy" and acts out breaking up with Caleb and throwing their "wedding ring" in the ocean. She rolls an 11 on Deception (with disadvantage). Beau's first line when breaking character is perfectly fitting.
Beau: Caleb? They don't think I'm a dumb drunk bitch.
Travis accidentally calls the Summer's Dance sword Summer's Eve. Which is a brand of cream for a certain... feminine area, for those not in the know.
Beau tries to grab Marius and drag him away from the fight. Matt tells her to roll... before revealing afterwards that, because he was mesmerised by Fjord's Hypnotic Pattern, she would've automatically succeeded anyway. He just wanted to see what she rolled.
This exchange when Matt is rolling for the three archers that decide to attack Fjord.
Marisha: What if we commandeer the ship?
Matt: [Rolling dice] Natural 20 on the first hit.
Marisha: What if we don't commandeer the ship?
Matt's frustration that "the captain", who "was supposed to be the nasty one in that fight", got paralysed and eviscerated by Yasha before getting a chance to do anything.
Matt pointing out multiple times that the guards are looking the situation over and thinking that the Nein are stealing a ship, because they are!
Fjord runs downstairs when the ladies are trying to get the ship moving. Travis then realizes that his Sailor background was kinda necessary to making that happen, so he first left the table in embarrassment, then had Fjord go to the wheel and bash his head on it in frustration (not quite dealing his Last Chance Hit Point in damage).
After Jester embedded her hand axe into a crewman's head:
Jester: That was not my intention.
Travis: That was not my intention. The title of this episode.
The sheer fact that "Let's go talk to Marius" wound up as "Okay, we're stealing the ship after killing all seven sailors on it". It takes a special kind of Epic Fail to consider that leap of logic, which took everyone at the table by surprise as it was happening (even Matt, who never expected it).
- Just to reiterate the point- The Mighty Nein dispatched a full crew and commandeered an entire ship by accident. This also continues their track record of having well-though-out plans end horribly (the hospital raid in Zadash, their first fight with the Iron Shepards), while spur-of-the-moment impulse actions (like stealing a dodecahedron that allows the manipulation of fate) succeed beyond their wildest expectations.
A chilling realization sets in as the Mighty Nein wind down from the fight:
Marisha: You guys, we own a ship!
Taliesin: A ship, a dog, an owl, ferret-
Sam: No, we don't have our dog anymore.
Marisha: Oh yeah!!!! (Calls out to the sky) Professor Thaddeus! Hoohoo!
Matt: ...Professor Thaddeus is somewhere at the city.
Travis: Ohhhhhhhh! First pet down!
- After an animal handling check to see if she can call him to the ship fails, Marisha tells herself her owl is happy being untethered. Taliesin adds "he's doing what he loves best... just ignoring everything you say."
Despite what the title of the episode would have you believe, there is absolutely zero diplomacy to be found at the docks. Diplomacy was vaguely planned for, but not even the ghost of a whisper that a ghost made five rooms away of diplomacy actually happened.

Episode 36: O Captain, Who's Captain?

Marius quickly becomes the groups new Butt-Monkey, complete with Beau kicking him awake, ripping off his expensive sleeves on his cloak, and threatening him a few times.
- On the other hand, Jester, Nott, and Caleb become fast friends with Gallen, the ship's carpenter, despite the fact that he initially attacked them with a sword and Jester buried an axe in his head (by accident.) They rule that, since he has the most experience with sailing besides Fjord, he's now the First Mate. They then realize he's a bit of a dumbass and immediately start ignoring his commands.
- The party realising Gallen is still alive is worth a mention on its own. He's trying to crawl away, so Jester grabs him by the ankles while the rest of the group squabble over whether to remove the axe (with Nott asking Gallen for his opinion). It really has to be seen to be believed.
  Jester: What if his brain starts leaking out DON'T DO IT!
Fjord asks a person at the dock for advice for where to pick up some crew for their ship, only for Caleb to walk up and ask the exact same question. Then Nott comes up, only for her to be using Disguise Self to be Captain Crunch of all people.
- Caleb disguises himself as a "somewhat plump, good Zemnian boy." The others immediately decide he looks like Augustus Gloop.
After Caleb is freaked out by the harpy ambush, Fjord tells Beau to give him a hug. Marisha's terrible embrace just has to be seen to be believed.
Nott saves a redshirt's life, an immediately goes to comfort him in the same way she did the child in the Gnoll mine. She gets the same reaction.

Episode 37: Dangerous Liaisons

The entire cast followed through on their idea to dress as pirates!
Sam comes out dressed as George Washington in Hamilton, doing the pose from the poster. He and Ashley proceed to sing a rewritten "Dear Theodosia" for the sponsor plug.
Over the course of the Menagerie Coast arc, it has become clear that while Fjord is an experienced sailor, Travis is not. Travis brought notes of nautical terminology with him to the live show, in a notebook clearly labeled "Idiot's Guide to Sailing".
- Speaking of not knowing sailing terms, Beau completely misunderstands what Fjord means when he tells her to activate the windlass. She then goes over and smacks Yasha (their resident "wind-lass") on the butt.
- Speaking of said notebook; Jester asks Fjord to give it to her, causing Fjord to defensively say no, because Travis has to point out it doesn't actually exist in the story.
Almost all the player characters misunderstand the use of parlay as parfait. This reaches the point where during the very serious conversation with Avantika, Caduceus asks for yogurt because he's hungry.
Liam's wonderful sense of comedic timing: Caleb doesn't know about the situation above, so he happily Messages Fjord that the damage to their ship is handled and they should be safe now. Fjord ends up having to awkwardly inform him about the incoming pirates.
Nott actually succeeding on a Deception check. What kind? Telling Gallen that it wasn't pirates but "high rats" (rats in the Crow's Nest) she was talking about.
Jester uses Disguise Self to look like a pirate, and chooses to make herself look like herself, only meaner and wearing a tighter dress.
After episodes without it, the old Running Gag with "but there is only six/seven of you" in response to their group being called "The Mighty Nein" returns with Avantika dropping her threats in favour of being very confused for a brief time.
Avantika states that they must either have the item on the ship or on their person somewhere. Travis's visual response to this cracks the audience up, and with good reason!
The whole situation with Fjord and Captain Avantika is charged with enough sexual tension that Liam and Caleb (via Frumpkin) are quite quick to note to everyone else. To make it even funnier, nothing of the sort ends up happening - Fjord and Avantika just show each other their eyes.
- Highlight includes Fjord turning Avantika's comment about his attempt to decieve her meaning he's got "either large balls, or is incredibly stupid" into him saying that she was perceptive enough to notice he "does indeed have large balls".
- As Avantika begins describing Uk'otoa, she repeatedly refers to it by name. Jester begins immediately repeating the name in a dramatic whisper - until Avantika pointedly glares at Jester whilst refusing to refer to Uk'otoa by name after that point. Jester pouts like a 5 year old getting a noisemaker taken away.
  - Later, Fjord asks if Caduceus got a read on if Avantika was telling the truth - he admits that he wasn’t paying attention to anything Avantika was saying, because he wanted to join in on Jester’s game.
  - By the end of the episode, Jester, Nott & Caduceus have all started playing the whisper game whenever Uk’otoa is spoken of by name.
- At one point, Fjord "shows Avantika his sword," which shoots off a stream of water when he summons it. The audience went so nuts at that moment (and Laura cackled so loudly) that Matt had to start shouting reminders that the falchion has always done that when summoned. The fact that Avantika begins caressing the sword afterwards just makes it worse.
In the first meeting with Captain Avantika in her quarters, Caleb makes a smart remark that leads her to throw a dagger at the cheese he was eating (surprising Liam that Caleb was apparently eating cheese) and pinning it to the wall. Caleb goes on to pick the cheese off of the wall, acting like a person eating popcorn.
Jester thinks she'll be able to feel the Cloven Crystal inside Fjord, so she forces his armor and shirt off. Travis thus takes off his pirate coat and mimes removing his shirt.
Nott "gets the itch" and rummages through the cargo hold unseen. First, she distracts the guards outside the Nein's room by using Silent Image to troll them into believing their spy "Jumanji Costco" had returned, then dismissing the image before Captain Avantika could see it. Next, she plays with the hold guard by repeatedly snuffing his lantern and dropping his pants.
As the Mighty Nein goes over the possibilities of who Uk'otoa’s third “chosen” could have been, Yasha realised that Molly was covered with eye tattoos, and Jester asks Fjord how he forgot that because he roomed with Molly & must have seen him naked at some point. Before Travis can respond, Taliesin immediately asserts that yes, Fjord totally saw Molly naked.
Taliesin: He was a bad roommate. Don't be a bad roommate.
When discussing what could actually be done with the power to control the oceans, Nott chimes in that she would "get rid of the seas!"
Jester decides to draw Captain Avantika in her sketchbook. However, since Jester is a Clingy Jealous Girl towards Fjord, there's daggers sticking out of her and she's broken four pencils.

Episode 38: Welcome to the Jungle

Jester was (naturally) really nasty when asking Captain Avantika and Jamedi if they wanted to sleep in the Tiny Hut with them. Jamedi initially declined, preferring his own tent, but Avantika's interest was piqued, so she accepted to Jester's clear displeasure.
Much hubbub is made at the table about the two Clerics going scouting together and getting ambushed by two kamadans (leopards with a mane of snakes).
In the kamadan fight, Jester and Avantika are the only ones to fall asleep. They're close enough to each other that they wake up almost in each other's arms quite miffed about their situation.
Jester's entire conversation with Jamedi, from trying to teach him about The Traveller to exchanging stories of "the craziest thing they've ever seen". Out of all the "crazy shit" Jester's seen, what does she choose?
Jester: This one time, I saw a bug, carrying a piece of bread, that was like five times its size. And he was carrying it UP stairs. [mimes] Like up, and then he would turn, and then he would go up, and then he would turn...
Jamedi: Will the wonders never cease? [Long pause] I am going to concentrate on the surroundings for the remainder of our shift.
The Major Image of the manticore is pretty awesome, but also excessively random for an island of lizard-like beings.
Jester's disguise checks aren't great. She makes Caleb up with a 7, so he got green dots. Beau was a 17, so she looked good. Yasha was a Natural 1, thus Matt described the result as "head to toe Grinch".
Jester tries to break the grapple she's in, and the grappler rolls a natural 2. Nice and low... but Jester rolls another of her multiple Natural 1s of the night.

Episode 39: Temple of the False Serpent

Sam's sponsor plug this time has him get face-painted by Laura and Taliesin to... sorta resemble a cross between a snake and a Pokemon? He keeps it on the entire episode, too.
Sam: That's in my eye.
Taliesin: Say it with me: you did this to yourself.
Caduceus' darkly humorous line after the yuan-ti kills herself. As a grave cleric, someone preoccupied with the natural order of death, it's extremely fitting.
Caduceus: That's cheating. [Complete with nine-year-old pout.]
Nott's repeated, increasingly unsubtle attempts to catch Jamedi out as an undead, first offering him a drink ("Do you drink liquids?"), then jerky, then inviting him to pray and asking if he worships any god in particular. For the last, she claims "we're a tolerant group".
Matt: He looks over at the dead serpent people jammed into the walls.
- While laughing, Jester adds that she is still unsuccessfully trying to milk one of the Yuan-Ti for venom.
Caleb pushes Fjord into a pit of blood-drinking trees.
Fjord: I should've knooooowwwwn-!
- Caleb casts Feather Fall on Fjord.
  Fjord: -that you had everything under control.
Nott and Caleb eat the psychotropical fruit, getting extremely high. Notably, when Nott is grappled by an assassin vine:
Sam: I’m trying to cast Teleport.
Matt: [looks at his notes behind the DM screen, probably asking himself "Does Nott have Teleport?"]
Sam: I don't have Teleport.
Fluffernutter. Really, everything about Nott and Jester's Crazy Enough to Work idea, from it's initial Noodle Implements with it involving Nott's Explosive Bolts and Jester's Black Powder Keg, down to its failure.
Fjord: Couple quick thoughts: One, when we tried to blow up the tree? Didn't work so well. Two, load-bearing beams in a closed room with no windows, so it's gonna hurt us too.
Jester: Fluffernutter~.
Fjord: Okay, the name is great, I'm just thinking, maybe in practical use, not the best idea here.
Nott: Think about this~.
Fjord: I am-, I'm the only one doing that.
[Later]
Fjord: No keg! This is fantasy and magic, fuck the black powder keg!
Nott: Fjord! Counterargument: [cocks crossbow]
[Still later]
Fjord: How many people are seriously considering Fluffernutter. Show of hands.
[Only Nott and Jester raise their hands]
Nott: [Still high] I think that's about 15 to 16 votes if my eyes don't deceive me!
Yasha's kill of the Hydra.
Travis-as-Yasha: (simply, with a shrug) No problem.
After the fight, Liam asks for clarification: are Nott and Caleb still high? Yes, yes they are meaning they fought and defeated two big enemies while high as kites.
Nott repeatedly cocking her Automatic Crossbow for no good reason. The cast joke about unused bolts just being ejected from the weapon.

Episode 40: Dubious Pursuits

Even though it's the day after Halloween, and most of them had no time to prepare, the cast are still dressed in costumes because "Halloween is when you want it to be!"
- Matt is Dante from Devil May Cry 5 because apparently when the new design for Dante was revealed, people began messaging him saying Matt looked like him. His costume also appears to the only one that really took any effort to put together.
- Taliesin is Sherlock Holmes.
- Sam is a bottle of ketchup.
- Liam is Kylo Ren. He tries to speak using Kylo's voice, only for the group to say he sounds like a weird combination of Adam Driver, and Christopher Walken instead.
- Marisha is "Lisa Frank Castle".
- Travis is ..."The Bargain Bin," aka a cowboy hat and a random pair of bright orange gloves. He threw it together because the alternative was wearing the panda costume he wore on Halloween itself with Laura, but as he explained, the costume was "too fucking hot".
- And after the break, everyone but Matt changes into normal clothes... except for Sam, who is the only one left wearing a last minute costume. It also takes Sam several minutes to notice, at which point he interrupts Matt to ask if they all got changed without telling him.
  Travis: No, we're still wearing ours.
Nott and Caleb are still high.
Caleb: How many eyes do I have right now? Because it feels like I have three of them...
Nott: You do. You have three eyes.
Caleb: (disturbed) ...that's good. That's good.
During a battle against a group of Yuan-Ti the party encountered while fleeing the flooded temple, Caduceus uses the spell Spirit Guardians, which he sums up thusly:
Taliesin: Anybody I don't like within 15 feet of me is currently getting ransacked by tiny fairies.
After months of what appeared to be mostly one-sided flirting from Jester, Fjord finally kisses Jester, keeping her from drowning while using up the last of his own air. The catch? Laura is absent this episode and isn't even there to react to it.
- Luckily, Sam and Marisha are there to react to the moment:
  Sam: That is so hot!
  Marisha: The last breath! He just selfishly wants the door unlocked but it's so sweet!
During the party's flight from the temple, Nott calls out to Beau, "Fluffernutter!!!" tossing the keg of gunpowder into the air as a distraction. On instinct, Beau screams out "Fluffernutter!" and tosses a throwing star at it... which will do nothing. Caleb reacts quickly and ignites the keg with two Scorching Rays.
Nott: That was amazing! How did you do that with a throwing star?!?
Beau: I think these are magic throwing stars! I THINK I BOUGHT MAGIC THROWING STARS!!!
At the end of the session, Fjord walks into Captain Avantika's chamber to find her nude on the balcony of her quarters and playing with her newly obtained aquakinetic powers. After a brief chat, Matt (as Avantika) hints towards a night of fun between the two. Fjord goes for it, astonishing everyone, but nobody more than Matt. The look on Matt's face when Fjord says yes is gold.
- The moment Jester finds out will be another instant entry onto this page, as Laura wasn't there to see it.
- Additionally, who notices that Fjord slept with Avantika? Caduceus, with his 18 Perception.
  Caduceus: Sleep well with your bad decisions.
And finally, after the intimate night between Fjord and Avantika, the episode ends on this note:
Liam: Seamen, seamen everywhere.
Sam and Taliesin: (in unison) ...and not a drop to drink.
Matt: (somewhere in between crying and laughing) I think it finally happened. I think you finally broke me.

Episode 41: A Pirate's Life for Me

Matt begins the episode with one of his typically eloquent and descriptive recaps of the events of the previous episode, including a lengthy review of the conversation between Fjord and Avantika which he ends with "...after which they fucked."
Nott's romantic advice to Jester is both adorable and hilarious, but what really seals it is Sam taking the opportunity to add some Dramatic Irony, since neither Nott nor Jester know about Fjord's... "escapade" with Avantika. (Which, for even more irony, is happening as they speak) Nott encourages Jester to "play hard to get" and "make him think he's done something bad".
- The rest of the cast's reactions during Sam's advice is priceless. The entire top table (Travis, Marisha, Liam) are all collectively losing their minds.
Sam/Nott: Boys like it when you are a little bit aloof. A little bit cold.
Marisha (muttering): No they don't.
Jester asks Orly to teach her how to do tattoos. The rest of the players react accordingly.
- Later, during the raid on the ship, Jester grabs a "volunteer" from the crew...to do a tattoo on them.
Nott is enthusiastic in her new role as powder monkey (judging by Cluster F-Bomb) ...And rolls a Nat 1 to fire her first cannon. Explosion ensues.
Crew: You owe us a cannon.
Jester: Cantrip Mending!
Matt: I don't know if that's gonna help fix a broken cannon... [Reading] "A single break or tear". Nope. That cannon's fucked.
As the Mighty Nein are about to embark on their first act of piracy, Fjord decides that they want to do this without immediately resorting to violence. To that end, Caduceus uses Thaumaturgy to open all the doors on the other ship before projecting his voice to make the following announcement:
Caduceus: Fellow friends at sea, we wish to have a parlay with your captain and we hope to keep this entire confrontation as bloodless and reasonable as humanly possible. We will do our best to be civil and and not encourage anything inappropriate over the next several minutes. We would appreciate your cooperation in this direction.
- Topping this off, Matt makes Taliesin roll for intimidation, and with Taliesin being who he is, rolls a 22.
After She and Fjord successfully talk a guard into surrendering instead of fighting to the death Beau has this gleeful reaction:
Beau: We're not murder monsters!
The group finds a magic paintbrush during their pirate raid, which makes whatever it paints real. Caleb gives it to Jester... and the group immediately realises she could just paint dicks on everything.
Matt: [Completely broken] I did not think this through!
Taliesin: How did you not think this through?! This was inevitably where this was going!
- Which she IMMEDIATELY does.
- Caleb lets her have the paint, under the condition that she promises not to draw a dick on his head. Jester immediately promises not to draw a dick on his head.
On the final leg of their time on the ocean, Nott (as Powder Monkey) attempts to steal some gunpowder, a little at a time- and rolls a Natural 1 on her Sleight of Hand check. After a brief pause, Matt proceeds with a description of Nott stealing a pinch of gunpowder here and there in a way that would make sense with a much higher roll. It is then capped off with the following:
Matt: You can add to your inventory "One Handful of Black Pepper."
- Nott then follows up by using that black powder to craft an explosive arrow, and succeeds at the tinkering check, thus creating what Nott thinks is an explosive arrow but Sam and the rest of the players know is a "pepper arrow" (which may or may not be useful in its own right).

Episode 42: A Hole in a Plan

Beau tries to get a bit out of Avantika... and sounds like she's flirting with her.
Sam: [sing-song] Everyone's fucking Avantika!
Immediately after this moment, Liam makes a hand gesture and Laura, of all people, calls him out on it. He's quick to point out the irony.
Liam: Laura Bailey just shamed me for a sexual finger motion, at this table, after THREE AND A HALF MOTHERFUCKIN' YEARS... I've seen everything.
"And there we have the direct connection from Campaign 1 to Campaign 2: Sam has taken a shit live as both characters, in-narrative."
After Nott takes a dump, Beau takes her turn, and yes, Marisha Ray begins to pantomime a determined poop face. Cue Liam pointing out:
"If ever you were gonna squat on that chair in a perch..."
[whole table cracks up, even Marisha]
The increasingly absurd conversation that ensues when the Nein discuss their future with Avantika with "codenames". Avantika = Tiffany, The Squall-Eater = Tiffany's Ship, the Cloven Crystal = Apricot, wherever the next Cloven Crystal goes = Apricot tree, Bouldergut = Franklin Delano Roosevelt, Fjord = Honda.
Beau: I'm more comfortable with Honda controlling the supply of apricots than Tiffany.
The discussion ends with Jester and Nott agreeing to sneak into Avantika's cabin together. Then note that nothing they have ever done together has failed before.
Travis: [Rolls] That's a Natural 1, this is gonna fucking fail.
"So we all wait until Fjord starts boning, then we start the action."
Nott and Jester attempt to escape the ship by casting Disguise Self, and disguise as Keg... and Molly. The others are quick to point out how he's probably the WORST disguise to use if you're trying to be inconspicuous.
Nott and Jester's infiltration results in some Black Comedy as several of Avantika's crew end up suffering horrible collateral injuries: first one falls through Jester's hole in the floor into the sleeping quarters, and is stabbed repeatedly by another member he startled awake. Later, Nott uses Phantasmal Force to make the lookout in the crows' nest think it's on fire... resulting in him leaping off and breaking his leg.
- The hole in the floor deserves its own mention. Jester and Nott cut a hole in the floor and cover it with a rug just as a watchman comes to investigate, only to find themselves in another crewman's sleeping berth. They hide under the bed as the watchman patrols, and for a moment, the ruse works - until the watchman steps on the carpet-covered hole, Scooby-Doo style, and goes plummeting through the deck, landing on the sleeping crewman, who promptly stabs him repeatedly.
  Crewman: We have to get this guy to a doctor, he, erm... he got stabbed.
  Watchman: BY FUCKING YOU, YOU TWAT!
Midway through the chaos of the escape, as Matt is working out all his players' positions, he pauses briefly to confirm that, yep, Fjord and Avantika are still going at it.

Episode 43: In Hot Water

Sam decides to impersonate the group for the DND Beyond infodump... using headshots, that he's cut mouth holes in. The biggest problem is not his downright awful impersonations but the fact that because his face is behind the headshots he can't see the copy he has to read.
- The headshot he uses for Taliesin is just a pyramid and an Illuminati triangle, through which he speaks with the Voice of the Legion and badly bastardized Latin.
  Taliesin: I have gained so much weight since that picture, good lord.
Fjord tries to convince the guards of Avantika's untrustworthiness... immediately after summoning a Greater Demon.
Matt: I'm going to ask you to make a Persuasion Check... with disadvantage, because you just summoned a fucking demon.
When Fjord summons the Bar-lgura (an ape-like demon), Laura jokes that Bouldergut has found her perfect match and will start making out with it.
As we return from the break, Matt describes the damage from Caleb's Fireball to the ship... and Liam has the biggest smirk on his face, until Taliesin gives him a disapproving look. At that point, Liam physically pulls his facial muscles into a frown.
When Jester is searching for the gems she dumped into the water, Matt lets her search "with dis-ad-fucking-vantage". Laura proceeds to roll double 1s and mock-celebrates her utter failure.
As Laura reveals that Jester can cast Control Water, everyone is super impressed and surprised... then Taliesin says "Oh yeah, I can do that too!"^note It's a Cleric spell Travis is so annoyed to learn that they both have access to the spell he missed out on^note that he stands up and steps away from the table.
Fjord tries to convince Nott to explore the underwater wreckage by tempting her with buttons and other shiny things. Nott is not having any of it.
Nott: He thinks I'm going to go into the water for some fucking buttons.
(...)
Fjord: There might be bronzed shoes, maybe little silver cups. Decoder rings.
Nott: (mock excitement towards Fjord) Ooh, those spoons? The little spoons, the collectible ones? (turns towards Jester) Fuck this guy.
After Frumpkin - in octopus form - finds the shipwreck, Caleb summons him back to his shoulder and begins baby-talking at him.
Caleb: (petting Frumpkin) Oh, come here, you! You are the most important member of this team, and don't Beauregard tell you different. Or Nott.
Beau: Do you ever feel like your relationship with your cat is hindering building stronger relationships with human people?
Nott: I've told him that a lot of times!
Beau: Okay, I just, y'know... I feel concerned about you sometimes.
Caleb: (to Frumpkin) Yeah, that is so silly, isn't it? Silly, yes it is.
Taliesin jokes that he has been spiking everyone's food with the the sacred fruit they found on Urukaxyl, with the whole cast noting it means everything they had gone through since could be just a drug-fueled hallucination.
When she goes diving to look for Fjord's old ship's wreck, Jester finally remembers to leave Sprinkle with someone else this time. Her first choice to babysit her pet is Orly, who it turns out is not fond of weasels and responds by slowly withdrawing his head into his shell.

Episode 44: The Diver's Grave

When a Merrow attempts to harpoon Caleb, Sam belts out a Big "NO!" in Nott's voice. When it actually successfully hits he does so again, but so panicked that it sounds more like Nott gargling.
Nott's Hideous Laughter joke this time is so bad even she seems appalled. (She's drunk)
Nott: What to give to a Merrow who sings poorly? Auto-tuna!
Caleb declares that they must treat the situation with the seriousness it deserves. He then has Octopus-Frumpkin attach himself to his face so he can see through his eyes.
For just a brief moment Beau is taken over by a ghost but thankfully Caduceus wards it off. Beau immediately returns to her right mind and thoroughly confused.
Beau: Huh?! What happened?! Did 'Tracy' come back?!
In response to the poisonous, grasping seaweed covering the grotto walls closing in, both Jester and Caduceus unleash blasts of Sacred Flame to clear a path. Matt stops, checks his notes, and rolls before remembering something important:
Matt: Of course it auto-fails its saving throws. It's seaweed.
Beau is unable to find Dashilla after she flees, but does find one of the lair's creepy ghosts. Having now gained magical attacks due to her Monk level, she proceeds to punch the shit out of the ghost. Caduceus joins in with Sacred Flame, and Nott fires her crossbow. (Which, as Matt points out, technically gets sneak attack damage!)
A moment of very dark comedy at the end of the episode. Dashilla's lair contains a table caked with dried blood, and there are ancient magical runes on the walls. Out of curiosity (and to the horror of the rest of the party), Caleb and Fjord repeatedly cut themselves to fill the table with blood. They manage to get it "two-thirds of the way full" according to Matt before backing out. As the group return to their ship and sail away, they see a violent storm emerge over the Diver's Grave, Dashilla having completed the ritual. This is implicitly how she sinks ships to find treasure and prey, so if Caleb and Fjord had continued playing the magical equivalent of What Does This Button Do? they might have sunk their own ship!
As Caduceus uses Water Walk to shoot everybody back up to the surface, Matt interrupts to clarify that he's just going to Hand Wave away the effects of decompression sickness, as that would have been the saddest Total Party Kill imaginable.

Episode 45: The Stowaway

Nott tries to make some explosive arrows. Matt asks a question first...
Matt: Are you proficient with Tinkerer's Tools?
Sam: I have Tinkerer's Tools.
Nott tells Beau about the person she saw below deck, but does so in Halfling to avoid alerting the others and causing a scene. The others immediately start getting annoyed at them seemingly speaking gibberish around them and try to join in, with Caleb asking them what they're talking about in Zemnian, and Jester chattering at them in Infernal.
Before she leaves to deal with the stowaway, Beau apologizes to Fjord for giving him heat earlier. Fjord is shocked.
Fjord: Apologies.
Caduceus: That's an improvement.
Fjord: Growth.
Caduceus: That's impressive.
Travis: (out of character, singing) Character aaaaaarc.
Twiggy in general qualifies, as her character takes the funniest parts of Nott and Jester and rolls them into one energetic gnome of fun.
When Caleb asks Twiggy what the mysterious, powerful, seemingly clockwork AND arcane item she stole is called... she says she can't remember, and just calls it the Happy Fun Ball.
Matt: Do not solve the Happy Fun Ball!
- They should have listened...
Twiggy casts hideous laughter on Caleb, leading to this exchange when he succeeds his saving throw:
Twiggy: How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Caleb: Oh no, don't you dare.
Twiggy: Ten-tickles! *Beat* Funny, huh?
Caleb: Yeah, I'm not a happy guy.
Matt waits until the last possible moment to tell the Nein they're travelling into Clovis Concord territory on a known pirate ship with a visible nametag.
- Nott, Jester, and Twiggy thus rename the ship the "Ball Eater", complete with the newly-painted B looking like a pair of balls. Caleb... is unamused.
Caleb tells Twiggy about all the "interesting stories" he's heard from Jester, and makes a Call-Back to Episode 38 by mentioning Jester's story about the ant carrying a piece of bread several times its size, which leaves Laura in hysterics.
When rolling initiative against a cabinet mimic attacking the party, Matt loves that he gets to say Beau is going at the same time as the cabinet.
The cabinet mimic rolling high enough on its Intelligence check to recognize that Jester's duplicate is an illusion:
Sam: That is a perceptive cabinet.
Nott gets the HDYWTDT on the cabinet mimic. Weapon of choice? Explosive crossbow bolt - but a bad roll means that she actually grabs the pepper bolt she made en route to Darktow. It still does enough damage. Cue mimic literally sneezing itself to death.
When Jester accidentally discovers that Cold magic energizes the crystal via Hellish Rebuke, Fjord attempts to continue charging it on his turn. How? By casting Armor of Agathys on himself and slamming his head into the crystal. Surprisingly, it works!
When Caleb and Nott arrive into the fight with the blue dragon, Caduceus emerges from a wall and sums up the situation to them.
Caduceus: We're running, it's bad.
Deborah rolls high enough on a Stealth roll that Matt jokes, "you stealth into your old campaign."
The party finally escape the sphere and return to the ship where they find Orly, Marius and half the crew waiting for them. Turns out they've been gone for seven days, long enough for the ship to make it to port and be fully repaired. Marius also informs them that the crew haven't paid for said repairs yet, and as a result the dockmaster is not happy with them.

Episode 46: A Storm of Memories

In a darkly comedic way, Nott's indignation that she didn't get a funeral when the group sans Yasha went missing. Then, at the fact none of them got funerals. She proposes a new policy that, if someone's gone for four days, they hold a funeral.
Fjord says that "practical" is his middle name, and the rest of them point out that they still don't know his last name.
In what is perhaps the strangest transaction of the campaign thus far, Caduceus goes to a blacksmith to ask if she could fix the broken sword he picked up, and wonders out loud what he could give her to reimburse her for her time. She looks him up and down for a moment, then asks for a hug. Apparently she just wanted to know what hugging a very large, fuzzy creature like Caduceus would feel like.
Doubling at heartwarming, Beau talks to Caduceus about doing something nice for the crew. Not only to show their appreciation but also to dissuade the crew from stabbing them in the night. Taliesin clarifies it's not him laughing at that, it's Caduceus.
Caduceus uses the word astute...and then says he has no idea what it means but he heard the crew using it.
During Yasha's fight Travis tries to silently prompt Ashley to use her Rage by grimacing and flexing his arms above his head, except Ashley is so focused on Matt that she completely misses his hints.
After the battle and a heart to heart, Yasha and Jester partake in some tea that Caduceus offers them.
Yasha: What's in here?
Caduceus: This is the, uh...Cadence family if I recall?
*Beat*
Caduceus: It's very minty.
*Beat*
Yasha: You mean it's people?
Caduceus: I mean technically, yeah.
Yasha: I'm fine with that.
Jester: Minty... minty people.
The next day, Beau is still steering. Fjord asks where they were actually going to test and see if she had any idea or had fallen asleep on the job (she had).
Fjord: Which direction are we headed?
Beau: The... one we're headed in, Fjord. Which is the only one we could be heading.
Fjord: Which is?
Beau: ... Towards our destiny.

Episode 47: The Second Seal

As everyone is rolling initiative, Sam notices Laura's strange eating habits.
Sam: You eat a hamburger with a fork and knife?
Laura: It's really messy!
Sam: Are you a communist?!
Nott's Shipper on Deck tendencies come on strong this episode. Not only does she push Fjord and Jester to go out on a walk together but she also asks they'll need any money, with Jester saying no but "Thanks, Mom."
At Fjord's behest, Jester asks The Traveler if he knows anything about Uk'otoa. At the mention of his name, the entire party echoes "Uk'otoaaaaaaa"; after a Beat, so does Matt, as the Traveler. Jester tops it off by relaying the answer to the group as:
Jester: He's heard about as much as we have.
In probably one of the biggest instances of Matt being inadvertently trolled by the players, Matt finally gets to use the semi-homebrewed rules for naval combat he'd been sitting on for weeks, (completed with additional character sheets for everyone detailing their role's special abilities) only for Caduceus to instantly capsize the enemy vessel on some rocks with clever use of Control Water.
After Caduceus capsizes their ship, the pirates are brought on board and, among other things, learn the name of the ship. The captain is very dispirited to learn he was toppled by the crew of the Ball-Eater.
Earlier on in the episode, the group expressed their concerns over Fjord turning evil under Uk'otoa's influence. This comes back when the group divides their acquired gold and Beau points out they should set a little bit aside to pay the crew. Out of nowhere Fjord says:
Fjord: They die before we reach the shore.
(stunned silence)
Fjord: What? No. Kidding. (Travis cracks up)
Taliesin: Wow!
Dark comedy: when the Mighty Nein discuss how to return to Nicodranas (where they are likely wanted people on a pirate ship to boot), Fjord has a hilariously over the top proposal:
Fjord: Or we go full sail into port, crash into the docks, Caleb sets off Fireball as a diversion, we run in and hide among the corpses of the innocents that are scattered about. ...I have a problem.
As they search the room at the bottom of the tower they find, among other things, a skeleton with its hips broken. Jester and Beau speculate that he died by sex with something a lot heavier.
Beau: Reverse-cowgirl death.
In an anticlimactic way, a large part of Fjord's arc for the first year of the campaign was dedicated to finding out about Vandren and if he was still alive...only for Caduceus to find out via getting high in the crow's nest and asking the Wildmother about him. Fortunately what Caduceus finds out raises more questions than it answers, as the Wildmother tells Caduceus Vandren is staying out of sight, and making amends.

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