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- The comment cards of Episode 1 are an episode-contained Running Gag.
- There are quite often mistakes about who's Vex and who's Vax, and jokes surrounding that.
Marisha: (after being told she can only use a boosting skill on one person) [I cast it on] Vex.Laura: Did you mean him? (points at Liam)(beat)Marisha: ...Yes.
- In the first dozen episodes or so, Marisha Ray is completely unable to remember which of the twins is which. She seems to have gotten better at that, but still makes the mistake from time to time.
Vax: You naughty man, you called me by my sister's name. That is going to cost you.
- Not even the DM himself is safe. In episode 14, Gilmore calls Liam's character "Vax'ahlia". Liam uses this as a segue for Vax to basically ask Gilmore out. Matt reassures them that Gilmore looks very ashamed.
Sam: If I ever have to roll a new character, I'm calling him "Vix".Matt: I will cut you.
- It happens again in episode 21, which Laura pointed out to him after the game.
- At one point Laura corrected Marisha with, "I'm Vax, not Vex," and Marisha took it as truth until Laura told her she was joking.
- And yet again in Episode 55, to the point where after being corrected, Matt jokingly says to Liam and Laura, "I will stab you."
- Reaching new heights in Episode 70 when Laura refers to Liam's character as "Vex."
- Anytime the players address the characters by their player's names.
- Laura throwing away her "cursed" dice after failing several rolls and and constantly buying more to replace them. Whenever she's picky about her dice, the look on Travis' face is priceless. She even tries to get her fellow players to replace their dice sometimes, and it generates the same reaction from Travis. Bonus points if she's trying to convince Travis.
- Anytime the players reference something that doesn't exist in the setting and then have to improvise like hell to cover the break in character. Examples so far include Venn diagrams, Jesus Christ (whoever that is), NyQuil, Randy Savage, skywriting, and radar.
- Any roll of 19 is usually pronounced "n-n-n-nineteen", especially if it's rolled by Vax. At one point in Trial of the Take Part 4, most of the party says it in unison.
- Any time Percy/Taliesin facepalms. It could be said that he does so both as himself and as his character reacting to the party's antics, seeing as he is the only human and the Only Sane Man of the group.
- And, for that matter, whenever the DM facepalms.
- Anytime Matt is whispering something into the ear of one of the players, Sam usually breaks the fourth wall and tells the stream to subscribe to Geek and Sundry and buy t-shirts.
- Pretty much any song that Scanlan sings. Special props to the song Scanlan sings to the illithid, Clarota, that heals him... which is a riff on Marvin Gaye's Sexual Healing. Yes, really. Apparently, Clarota is a fan of slow jams.
- Somewhere between this trope and Awesome is Scanlan's ability to deal damage with an insult - in particular the moment where he kills a duergar with a Your Mom joke.
- And his habit of humming loudly whenever he critfails stealth checks.
- Speaking of failing stealth checks, there's Pike, clad in heavy metal armor which imposes a disadvantage on said checks. Usually followed by her or someone else imitating the sound of her gear ("CLANK! CLANK! CLANK! CLANK! CLANK!") or Ashley mentioning she should oil her armor.
- Every time Percy introduces himself with his full name, at least one other party member says "You can call him Percy."
- Vanessa's husband's name constantly being said wrong, usually by Vax.
- Kashaw not saying Tiberius' last name correctly.
- Rakshasa jazz hands!
- Keyleth getting arrested and/or scaring the crap out of some innocent bystander in animal shape.
- The phrases "I would like to rage" and "I encourage violence" have been adapted to almost every situation. For the first, see "I would like to rage-climb" in Episode 13, "I would like to rage...and...RUN!" in Episode 10, "The chat would like to rage," in Episode 19, and "She would like to rage!" in Episode 25 for Vex's double crit. For the latter, "I encourage violence!" returns in Episode 23, and "I encourage sandwich!" happens in Episode 26.
- The Running Gag of Scanlan shooting his Lightning Bolt from his crotch with a pelvic thrust.
- Whenever Grog tries to move or bash down a heavy obstacle and Pike decides to assist, it always has adorable results. Grog usually always rolls high enough, while Ashley usually rolls below a 10. (The below quote is from Episode 22)
Travis: I take the Warhammer, activate it, run up to one of the walls and swing as hard as I can.Matt: Go ahead and roll a strength check.Ashley: (brings out d20 and rolls) Can I assist?...Travis: 19.Ashley: (puts away d20) Oh, you don't need assistance.Travis: (grins adorably) Yeah I do. From Pike, anytime.Laura: 9!Ashley: (proudly) 9! (holds imaginary mace and knocks it against the wall) Tink!
- Inverted in episode 32, when Grog tries to move a statue away he throws out his back. Vox Machina collectively fails as well. And who moves it out of the way? 3 foot gnome Pike.
- Any time Grog rolls a Natural 20 on an Intelligence Check.
- For some reason, the players' greatest enemies in the Whitestone arc have been Whitestone's awful, awful... doors. Vox Machina has been briefly defeated and even injured by these diabolical doors of death, doom, and destruction so far during their stay in the city.
- Preceded in Episode 12 when guest group Vox Moronica fail miserably to get through a perfectly ordinary door using both lock picks and a flying kick. Eventually they just burn the building until someone runs out, thus opening the door.
- Every week, Sam seems to add a new sticker to the bottom of his giant flagon of ale.
- In Episode 55, they are covered by a piece of paper with "Your Ad Here" written on it (and the next episode it's Scanlan fan art). Scanlan Shorthalt: Corporate Shill.
- Taken further when Sam changed mug while playing Taryon Darrington. And after the one-year (in-game only) timeskip, he brings in the old mug, only to open it and take the other mug from inside.
- Vax'ildan calling Vex'ahlia "stubby," and states that she is two inches shorter than he is. According to his character sheet, he's 5'11, making Vex'ahlia 5'9". 5'9" for a female half-elf is not stubby at all! It's actually above-average.
- Pike continues to show up the team at every turn (except stealth checks).
- Sam's prepared limericks.
- Later, he inspires people by reading from a book called Dad Jokes and a book of Shakespeare insults.
- Critmas: from plushies to art to selfie sticks to people feeding Matt's addiction to minis (much to the chagrin of Marisha and jealousy of Liam).
- The delivery of the painting Scanlan commissioned in Episode 36 seems to be turning into a minor one now that Vox Machina has been forced to temporarily abandon Greyskull Keep because of the Chroma Conclave.
- Every time the show is about to air, Liam starts yelling swear words to try to make the cast laugh when they go live.
- Minor one: Vax feeding Trinket chocolate, much to Vex/Laura's vexation.
- Liam plugging Wyrmwood Gaming in increasingly absurd and creative ways during the pre-show announcements.
- The servants in Scanlan's mansion are apparently incapable of cooking anything but whole chickens. It gets to the point that they have Pike's grandfather Wilhand go in and try to teach them how to make proper meals. They have limited success. Scanlan's daughter, however, actually manages it. So instead of only cooking chicken, now they only prepare salads.
- Any time that Matt's NPCs have a whispered conversation amongst themselves, and Laura reminds him that Vex can read lips.
- Vax'ildan and the theatre.
Keyleth: (to Vax) What is it with you and the theatre?
- Keyleth being a happy drunk and then needing to be carted off.
- Sam's increasingly ludicrous Loot Crate pitches before each game.
Sam: I'm an actor. Why would you listen to me about this stuff, I'm a liar and a deceiver. But what you can listen to [...] is hardcore maths.Sam: I've been dabbling in the hip-hop world lately, so I've prepared a little rap.Sam: Ancient Greece: Zeus presents a lovely crate to the first woman on Earth, a lovely gal named Pandora; it contained death and evil, corrupted the world forever more.Sam: I prepared a word game.Sam: I did learn a magic trick.
- Seeming is the gift that keeps giving. First flying cows, then lots of de Rolos, then nesting doll sexy sextuplets.
- Vax never washes his armor, so apparently it's smelly.
- Tiberius murdering an old woman was treated a What the Hell, Hero? moment in-universe. That doesn't stop them from regularly making jokes about attacking the elderly.
- After the show started airing on Alpha, the crew began putting amusing commentary in the lower left hand corner.
- Episode 85's Wham Line, "What's my mother's name?" has started being called back to in humorous contexts.
- Sam's shirt. Not only they are always different (at one point he notices he almost wore a different one per episode, only thrice wearing a shirt he already wore, and cam wearing four different ones to even it out), they often have humorous immages to. The most frequent are pictures of Matt's faces and the "shirtception" (started by him wearing a shirt with his face on, than a shirt with him wearing that shirt, than a third one with him wearing the second one...)
- Vex is always getting hit with Finger of Death and other necrotic magic. Enough that Matt took notice and nudged her into a situation where she would gain innate resistance to necrotic damage.
Vox Machina Origins
- Vex and Vax meet Keyleth for the first time.
Vax: I'm dying. I'm dying and I'm hallucinating a squirrel who can turn into people.
Episode 01: Arrival at Kraghammer
- When investigating Greyspine Manor, Vax'ildan suggest he and Vex'ahlia masquerade as husband and wife. Vex responds by immediately averting Surprise Incest.
Vex'ahlia: How about we go as brother and sister, creepy?!
- "Am I still being beaten by a whore dwarf?" Cue Orion frantically checking his phone to see if there are any official stats for a whore dwarf.
- When Tiberius is trying to figure out a way to get past a magically warded library, and is then surrounded by four guards
A guard: You! YOU!Tiberius: What?!The guard: You have attacked one of the great Dwarven families of Kraghammer! Name yourself and your business before you're under arrest!Tiberius: (while yelling himself) Don't speak to me in that manner! I am Tiberius Stormwind!Sam: (describing what Scanlan is doing elsewhere) I'm snoring after having sex.
- When Scanlan and Grog talk about their wonderful night at the Stone's Pillow and the bard mentions that he got hickies, Vex'ahlia remarks, "Crazy, I have some hickies too, actually", implying that she and Thompson the Carver shared a few kisses. Cue a total of 4 "What"s from the group.
- When Tiberius is masquerading as a dwarven citizen, he proudly states his name is "Tiberius Kraghammer". There is a very pregnant pause before the entire room bursts into uncontrollable laughter. Scanlan is very quick to point it out by saying "I'm Johnny New York." Orion's realization of what he named himself is equally hilarious.
- When first speaking to Nostoc Greyspine about Lady Kima, and hearing Nostoc say that she "stepped on a few toes", Tiberius' reaction is a "Oh, was she clumsy?" Cue Liam, Laura, and Travis laughing to the point of being unable to speak.
- During the battle, Matt allows Scanlan to use Inspiration on himself... solely because he's Scanlan.
- As much as it was awesome, Sam realizing he was about to get his very first kill was hilarious.
Travis: NEVER! Never killed anything in two years!
- The entire dancing bear sequence in the tavern plays out like a perfect slapstick scene start to finish, capping off with Matt playing a drunken dwarven wrestler, Balgus, who finds the bear hilarious:
Balgus: It's been so long since I've been outside.
Grog: GRAB BALLSACK!
- Later, in combat, the party comes up with the idea of calling the wrestler back to help, and Travis forgets his name:
- This exchange:
Vax: We're here to right wrongs.Grog: Yes, we're here to right wrongs, and right lefts -
Episode 02: Into the Greyspine Mines
- Keyleth transforming into a dwarf to deceive another dwarf into giving them information they needed courtesy of Tiberius' Alter Self, and trying a, er... Dwarven accent.
Vax: Good sir dwarf, clearly, we are idiots.
- Not long after this there is a passing comment from Travis, "Keyleth Kraghammer!"
- Later, when the dwarf sees through their trick, Vax takes it upon himself to try to reason with the dwarf.
Dwarf: That's the first true thing you've said since you called me out here!
- Vex begins a sentence with "I cast..." which prompts an incredulous "You can cast??" from Scanlan. Vax retorts almost immediately with "You can kill?"
- There's this gem when they're trying to haggle with the shop keeper.
Grog: If you are interested in trade we have some basilisk eggs, and parts of an umberhulk.Vax'ildan: And a troll dick.Grog: No, that's gone. We flogged him with it, and it disappeared.Vax'ildan: I retract my offer.
Vex: Why would you do that?
- When Grog, er, Professor Grog beats out Vex in math regarding the purchase of 9 Potions of Greater Healing.
- Which actually works against Vox Machina, as Vex stated 2500, in an attempt to shave some money off. (The amount it came up to was 2700, which Grog counted correctly.)
- When Grog, er, Professor Grog beats out Vex in math regarding the purchase of 9 Potions of Greater Healing.
- Matt plays an exceptionally friendly dwarf who attempts to invite the heroes in for dinner:
Matt: I've got two chairs...I could fit ye on my lap! (pats Scanlan on the head)Scanlan: (deadpan) I've killed.Tiberius: This one needs a whore, sorry.
- Travis imitates the chef from The Little Mermaid and leaves Matt laughing too hard to speak:
Grog: LES POISSONS / LES POISSONS / HEE HEE HEE / FUCK YOU BITCH!
- Marisha and Taliesin decide to nickname the brain-creature "Jeff Lobey."
Episode 03: Strange Bedfellows
- A lot of funny moments when Vex'ahlia was interrogating the duergar female.
Sam: Can I tell if she's lying?Matthew: Make an insight check.Sam: Insight check? (rolls dice) No.Laura: Okay, can I see if she's lying? (rolls) 24.Matt: She is definitively lying through her teeth, just to hurt you.Laura: YES! (goes back into character.)Vex'ahlia: We know you're lying.
- Such as this exchange.
Prisoner: (talking about Lady Kima) Regardless, we have her down below. And soon enough, you'll see. You'll see what she has become of this halfling.Vex'ahlia: We'll rescue her. And we're going to kill your god.(At least five seconds of awkward silence, before Vax slits the female duergar's throat. Players laugh.)Taliesin: Most awkward throat slitting I've ever heard about.
- Everyone laughs.
- And this one.
- During all of this Tiberius is magically finger poking the female duergar.
- Travis' Cool Shades (which have X's drawn on them) when he was rendered magically comatose.
- What Grog was apparently dreaming about as soon as he wakes up.
Grog: I thought I was in Algebra Class again.
- Scanlan's high opinion of himself whenever he wanted to go sneaking around by himself, when everyone else thinks it's a bad idea.
Scanlan: I am super brave and hung.
- And there's this.
Scanlan: When I get that feelin', I want Clarota Healin'. Clarota Healing is something that's good for you. Ooh, ooh, ooh...
- While Tiberius is retrieving the magic carpet from the broken bridge, Matt mentions off-hand that there's a river at the bottom of the crevasse (which the bridge had previously been...er...bridging). They continue their discussion while Travis and Laura squabble about Grog theoretically jumping into the river in the background.
Vex: Do you want to die?
- The party become allies with a mindflayer seeking revenge, who introduces himself to them as Clarota.
Keyleth: Can I call you "Clarence", for short?Clarota: No.
Episode 04: Attack on the Duergar Warcamp
- Liam takes a moment to mug for the camera after passing a cup to Sam behind Matthew's back...
Matthew: (as Liam goes back to his seat) How ya doin'... that'll be disadvantage to your next attack.
- Scanlan botching his stealth role leads to him humming to himself while trying to be sneaky. Vax grabs him to get him to shut up:
Vax: Quiet, man, what's wrong with you?Scanlan: It's a nervous habit, I'm sorry!Vax: With great power comes great responsibility. Shut up!Scanlan: It's a gift! I have to share it with the world!Vax: Save it for the mindflayer! (tucks Scanlan under his arm "like a football")
- Tiberius remains very sensitive to Clarota's unwillingness to call Vox Machina "friends". When Pike returns:
Tiberius: Sometimes we hug. As allies.
- Explaining Clarota to Pike, Vax pretends to be an illithid by making wiggly finger tentacles. Which is adorable, but even funnier when Taliesin makes the same gesture to Marisha's bemused face.
- After Tiberius a spell on Pike to clean her up (Matt previously mentioned her armor was dirty from her journey through the caves), there's a Funny Background Event where Sam, as Scanlan, quietly rebukes Tiberius as he liked her looking dirty.
- Everybody has to find a way to cross the gorge, as the party previously destroyed the bridge. Vex, Vax, Percy and Clarota take the flying carpet. Keyleth transforms into an eagle and carries Pike and Scanlan in her claws... and Tiberius casts fly on Grog and rides him across the chasm. While Grog is wearing a brass pot on his head.
- Despite the fact that the lead-up to it is amazingly tense, it's hilarious that the party's most complicated plan yet peaks with Scanlan throwing a bucket of goblin shit at a mindflayer.
- As an added bonus, Laura arrived late and had absolutely no idea why Vax and Scanlan were invisible, holding hands (since they couldn't speak or signal each other while invisible), and carrying a bucket of goblin shit.
- Laura shows up in the middle of the raid without knowing what's going on. Matt starts pointing to each of the players to find out what they're doing:
Tiberius: I cast stoneskin on myself!Grog: I rage!Pike: Daylight on my shield!Vex: I'm — I'm so happy to be here!(group loses it)
- After charging into the throne room, throwing a bucket of goblin shit in its face, and then stabbing it in the back of the head, Liam asks Matt if the mindflayer is aware of him.
Matt: It is so aware of you. It has never been more aware of you in its life.
- "Hashtag Armored Anus."
- While Orion is debating with Matt regarding the usage of his "Grand Columns", Marisha and Taliesin are doing a brief parody of "A Whole New World" from Aladdin.
Marisha and Taliesin: (singing) A whole new spell!Taliesin: (singing) A new, fantastic way to die!Marisha: (singing) No one can tell us "no"... except for Matt.Taliesin: (at the same time as Marisha) ...or how to roll.
- Keyleth turns herself into a rhinoceros:
Matt: Okay, I don't have a rhinoceros mini on me so we'll use a bear for the time being but know it's a rhinoceros.Sam: Why don't you have a rhinoceros?Matt: Because I was not prepared for such things!Liam: Way to slack off, Mercer.
- The group squabbling over how to infiltrate the camp while flying in. They seem split between landing on the roof of the barracks, or landing on the ground by the barracks, or just sending some people down while others stay up, or landing on the barracks and having some jump off... when the suggestion is made for them to just lie flat on the roof of the barracks to avoid detection, Sam chimes in:
Sam: This is the exact conversation they had when they were about to go kill Osama!
- In addition, while everyone else laughs at the above, Orion just sits with his chin in his hand as he thinks, not reacting, before suddenly jolting up from a Eureka Moment. It has to do with the game, but it looks at first like he just had a Delayed Reaction to the joke.
- And then after finally reaching a consensus, Scanlan assures Clarota that he found the right group to help him. Matt remarks that, while there's no verbal response, the group can sense a hint of regret coming off the mindflayer.
- Scanlan is knocked out while being swung around dangling from a Bulette's mouth. Pike revives him, and after some confusion on Sam's part before suddenly realizing he's back up to over 20 health:
Sam!Scanlan: (cheerful) I feel great, guys!Matt: (chuckles) You're still in its mouth, getting shook around...Sam!Scanlan: Oh shit! What is this ride?! This is craaaaazy!
Episode 05: The Trick About Falling
- Grog sprinkles the Dust of Tracelessness behind the group "like a fucking flower girl".
- As soon as the gang thinks a couple of Umberhulks have been added to the battle, Liam flat-out headdesks while Orion starts to but looks to his right at the last second.
- Clarota mentally bitchslaps Vax for making a bad pun.
- Grog's response to an insult.
Vax: Smells like Grog.Grog: (immediately) I would like to trip Vax.
- Liam hears a description of K'Varn and assumes that he's a narwhal, due to his prominent horn.
Episode 06: Breaching the Emberhold
- At one point, the twins and Scanlan have to roll stealth checks. Upon seeing that Sam rolled a one, Ashley frantically tries to keep him from blowing their cover by having Pike kiss Scanlan. It doesn't work though, because she fails her perception check to realize his unstealthy behaviour in the first place.
Taliesin: I rolled a one.Sam: I kiss Percy!
- Shortly after, the party once again needs to roll a stealth check:
- Scanlan Dimension Doors himself and Pike to sneak attack a couple duergar, but he manages to neutralize them on his own.
Pike: (astonished) I didn't even need to do anything, Scanlan!Scanlan: Make out with me!(the players begin cracking up and start singing "I Think We're Alone Now")
- Shortly after, Keyleth pushes one of the duergar into lava.
Marisha: This is the meanest thing I've ever done!
- Afterward, she gives him an even more brutal death by cooling the lava over his face so he stops screaming, then lets lava flow over what's still exposed. Says Grog: "I never knew you were an artist."
- Although the mentioning of that incident becomes Harsher in Hindsight later on.
- Afterward, she gives him an even more brutal death by cooling the lava over his face so he stops screaming, then lets lava flow over what's still exposed. Says Grog: "I never knew you were an artist."
- A few Duergar are left on the wall after all this, and the group needs to kill them quickly before they alert others. Now below the wall and having no ranged attacks, Scanlan resorts to summoning an Unseen Servant to try and push a Duergar off the wall. Matt lets him try, but naturally it fails miserably.
Scanlan: Thank you, Jarvis!
- Matt shows the group a map of the building that they have just entered, though much of the map is covered by pieces of paper to avoid spoiling things. Sam's response to this?
Sam: (as Scanlan) Guys, I'm sensing a lot of purple and brown construction paper here.Orion: (as Tiberius) I am as well, Scanlan.Sam: That's your favourite terrain, right?Orion: It is!
- The group finds themselves in a small room...
Travis: We're all trapped in that room together, right?Matthew: Yes.Travis: (as Grog) I fart.
- Tiberius attempts to join the fray, only to be told that he can't cast Hold Person due to lack of line-of-sight.
Tiberius: Oh, poop! I encourage — I encourage violence!(everyone cracks up as Tiberius does encourage Grog)Travis: (practically on the verge of tears) "I encourage violence!"Liam: That's the best line of the night!
- Keyleth's following turn doesn't go any better — she accidentally kills another innocent due to lack of specification, and also resorts to encouraging violence. Again, it's much Harsher in Hindsight considering what happens later on.
- That being said, Liam's own reactions to Keyleth just saying "fuck it" and just rolling with it: he laughs uncontrollably, trying to breathe.
- Vex then smacks Grog on the butt — likely revenge for him almost killing Trinket by accident in the same way before the stream began.
- Matt then interjects to say due to this entire chain of events, Grog gets inspiration for his charge.
- Keyleth's following turn doesn't go any better — she accidentally kills another innocent due to lack of specification, and also resorts to encouraging violence. Again, it's much Harsher in Hindsight considering what happens later on.
- Right as Vax opens a door to let Grog at the executioner...
Liam: I use my bonus action to say, "You are so fucked, dwarf."
- What's Tiberius doing during both main encounters? He pulls out a book and casually starts reading while eating chicken. Orion Acaba even produces his player's manual and roleplays Tiberius flipping through it during the entire encounter.
- Tiberius gives a pretty nonsensical explanation for a pair of empty bottles he carries around, after which:
Grog: Even I feel dumber after that.Scanlan: Your intelligence is now 4.
- When Lady Kima is eventually rescued and receives a greatsword from Grog:
Grog: Would you like to touch... my axe?Kima: If you're willing to part with it, certainly.Grog: (stammering) ...Maybe we should get out of here.
Episode 07: The Throne Room
- Vax goes for a Sneak Attack on a hammering Duergar in the castle's forge and rolls a natural 20, critting him to death instantly without making a sound. Matt narrates it as such:
Matt: You hear *tink*, *tink*, *tink*, (silence)...
- And then Vax starts hammering instead to prevent his kill from being discovered.
- Scanlan finds a guest bedroom while scouting out the fortress. What does he do? He takes a dump on the bed.
- The NPCs watch the gang plan their attack on the throne room and can't believe what they're witnessing.
Clarota: You're all crazy. I like it.Kima: For once I actually agree with the thing...
- There is a line of duergar guarding Emberhold's throne room. Through a clever application of Water Sphere from Tiberius and Call Lightning from Keyleth, all but one of them are killed instantly. The last one is shamed into suicide by Scanlan's Your Mom schoolyard-style Vicious Mockery.
- This is funny enough as it is, but what sells it is some of the other members of Vox Machina get in on it, singing along and doing some rhythmic clapping.
- Vax's first reaction to awakening after having his foot burned in magma.
Liam: Does this mean I'll never compete in the roller derby again?Matthew: Quite possibly.
- Scanlan attempts to use Suggestion to take King Murghol out of the action — specifically, he tries to make the king stand on his head in the middle of battle, to no avail. Upon landing the killing blow later, he drops the Pre-Mortem One-Liner:
Scanlan: You should've stood on your head!
Episode 08: Glass and Bone
- Healing Vax's wounded foot produces an Incredibly Lame Pun:
Liam: Can I use my luck feat for this?Laura: You don't have any feet left.(Liam loses it and Laura headdesks in shame)
- Sam's reaction to Vax suggesting Kima and Clarota take a watch together.
Sam: Ooh, what if they start fucking?(everyone loses it)
- Upon finding a scene of carnage caused by another "stitch monster":
Keyleth: Nothing good is ever... tentacly.Percy: (gestures, presumably at Clarota) No offence.Liam: This is not a JRPG.(Marisha cracks up)
- Trinket transformed into a kitten is funny. Him getting stored in Vex's shirt is a bit silly. Him losing the polymorphed shape and bursting out of Vex's top (leading to some obvious fanservice jokes) is a really funny mental image. What sells it, however, is Taliesin's cap on it.
Taliesin: Ah, your bear chest.
- Scanlan pulls out Vicious Mockery again, this time on the tentacled aberration the team fights.
- Clarota tries to contribute against said monster, but his impressive lightning blast suffers from some terrible rolls, which Mercer is annoyed by, and deals a measly 7 damage. Clarota's reaction to this, according to the DM, is an embarrassed shrug.
- This, if only for the mental image:
Matt: Clarota can't do what Clarota wants to do.Ashley: What does Clarota want to do?Taliesin: DANCE!
- Scanlan falls afoul of the ladies when he claims that he's insulting the aberration by calling it a girl. He spends the rest of the fight completely cowed and reminding them over and over again that he respects their proud/independent choices, etc.
Sam: This is a grizzly situation!
- Likewise — though no one acknowledges it due to the tense situation — the pun that Sam delivers with half-horrified, half-shit-eating grin when poor Trinket is in peril. It's the expression that sells it, especially when everyone else is so grim.
- Taliesin seems weirdly happy to learn that it only takes 5 hit points to kill a kitten.
- After Laura fails the first death saving throw for Trinket and puts her head on the desk in sadness, Liam decides to lighten the mood by rubbing salt in the wound.
Laura: (Slowly rises her head up to face Liam) Are you serious right now? You're bashing my rolls when Trinket might die?
Episode 09: Yug'Voril Uncovered
- Scanlan distracting Lady Kima with an illusion of a strange (and certainly superfluous) third nipple.
- He later doubles down by casting Polymorph on himself to gain a very disproportionate... "third leg". Kima's "No. Just... No" Reaction seals the deal.
- Scanlan pooping on the bed gets a Call-Back in the form of a Funny Background Event. Sam doesn't notice it (onscreen at least).
- Keyleth attempts to calm Grog down while he's captured, forgetting that she's in Earth Elemental form and can only make angry roaring noises.
Marisha: In rock speak, I say "Grog it's okay, it's Keyleth!"Matt: You hear (incoherent growling)Grog/Travis: ...AAAAAAAAGGHHH!
- Lady Kima of Vord and Vex'ahlia talk about a trade in armors. Elvish Chain Mail for leather armor. Vex goes to take off her armor, and Grog is quick to draw all of this happening. Too bad it was quickly retconned.
- The twins have a brief squabble over the armor Vax had lent to Kima after she claims the cursed armor for her own, which eventually leads to a contested roll for it. Vex wins.
- The scene where K'Varn possesses Queen Ulara is pretty creepy, but it also contains this gem:
K'Varn: There... There we are. I can see you all so clearly.Tiberius: (who has cast an invisibility spell on himself) Not me!K'Varn: You would be surprised, dragonborn.Tiberius: ...You're pretty good.(everyone bursts out laughing)
- Tiberius finally uses his bottle of air; which means we all get treated to the mental image of the red dragonborn sorcerer waltzing into the lake with his bottle of air in his mouth.
Episode 10: K'Varn Revealed
- Scanlan Dimension Doors himself and Pike (by hugging her of course) out of a cavern to escape a cloaker into the boat outside.
Sam: Don't worry, that hard wood is the boat.(everyone loses it)
Sam: And I just hold her real tight... and I sniff her hair... and it smells like strawberries...Taliesin: You just gotta make it weird, man.
- He also prefaces this by telling her "Come with me if you want to live!" and describes his rescue of Pike as such:
- Vex uses arrows in a way that she calls "barrage a cone" (she means "conjure barrage"). Sam comments that that sounds like "an Italian porn guy."
- When Grog is given a new sword that has frenzy power, Scanlan suggests "I'd like to ragefrenzy!" as a new catchphrase.
- Vax makes the mistake of giving Tiberius the nickname "Tibber-Hoods." After a brief pause for everyone to laugh...
Vax: Tibber-Hoods, do you have any fireballs left in you?(brief pause)Scanlan: T-Money, whaddya think?Tiberius: (beat) ...I cast Silence on Vax.(everyone laughs)Scanlan: I cast Dispel Magic.Tiberius: Counterspell!Scanlan: Countercounterspell!Orion: (breaking character) Do you have Counterspell?Sam: (checks quickly) ...no!
- Sam later called it "a master class in wasting spells". Also, Tiberius almost immediately cancels the spell himself, causing Vax to suddenly start shouting.
- When the group calls for a Tactical Withdrawal...
Grog: I would like to Rage...and...RUN!
- Immediately after this, Pike tries to jump on his back to escape. She fails her athletics check, so Matt rules that Grog doesn't realize it's her and elbows her in the face on reflex.
- Scanlan inspiring Earth Elemental!Keyleth:
Scanlan: I'm just gonna inspire her with a little... like a little dolphin dance.Travis/Grog: ...Whuh...?Matt: It's hard to explain why, but his strange shimmy is slightly inspiring. You've learned something about yourself today that you hope nobody else wants to bring up in conversation.
- Scanlan casts suggestion on Lady Kima. Why? So she'll check out Grog. It doesn't work.
Grog: I go over to the water and pour it all over myself.
- "This'll be the day that I scry..."
- During the second Q&A, Laura revealed that a careless motivating action by Grog led to Trinket activating every trap in a room and nearly getting killed. This text exchange was likely what happened afterwards.
- Also from that Q&A, "Bard out with your hard out."
- The gang mentions that they're talking to potential guest stars and ask who the chat might like to see. Suggestions include Barack Obama, Paula Deen, and Judi Dench. Danny Sexbang is also mentioned and Matt seems quite keen on the idea. Garfunkel and Oates also seemed to be a popular suggestion with the crew.
Episode 11: The Temple Showdown
- Laura's sheer glee at her Trinket puppet.
- During the episode, Liam and Laura wore shirts showing which character belongs to whom◊. This points out the Running Gag that Marisha couldn't tell who was who.
- How Travis/Grog describes what Giant Language sounds like.
Grog: I... would like... to...Everyone Else: NO!
- The entire scene that led to Grog headbutting the Fomorian. First the leadup to it:
Travis: You don't FUCK with Grog's cask of ale!
- Everyone has varied Oh, Crap! expressions during their attempt to calm down Grog... except for Matt, who has a satisfied smirk at provoking the situation to begin with. Ah, the rare and beautiful sight of seven synchronised Face Palms. And then, when Travis rolls a Natural 20, everyone is shocked (including Matt) and Travis then retorts:
- After putting the giant under geas, Vex has to serve as interpreter so Keyleth can give orders. Apparently Underdark sounds like someone about to throw up...
Keyleth: Huaweh K'varn!Percy: That accent was terrible!Keyleth: Shut up, Percy, I'm not from here, clearly!Percy: Well, everyone knows now.
Scanlan: I speak Keyleth!
- Shortly after, during translation shenanigans:
- Speaking of translation shenanigans, Keyleth clicking to try and dissuade bats from attacking Trinket. A slight miscommunication leads to Matt missing that Marisha was casting Speak with Animals and just thinking that she was frantically trying to imitate bat noises.
- Matt's reveal that Vex didn't finish off K'Varn like everybody believed.
Matt: So on K'Varn's turn-Sam: What?Matt: Black energy begins to pull into the horn.Laura: Mother...
Vax: I say we go all around the rim of the city.Tiberius: Ah, a rim job.
- Before leaping into battle, Vax tries to invoke It Has Been an Honor...and is immediately shut down by the rest of the group.
Percy: Vax. Screw you. I want my last words with you to be indignant and irritated.
- Vox Machina uses the Fomorian as a battering ram/cannonball/dead weight. As he falls, Taliesin, Marisha, Orion, and Sam hold up scores like Olympic diving judges. The scores were 10, 10, 4.2, and 9.3 respectively.
- Near the climax of the battle, Percy tries to fire down at K'varn after a particularly awesome turn, and everyone is hyped:
Matt: He will have three-quarters cover.Percy/Taliesen: I ignore three-quarters cover.Matt: (eyes going wide) Then fuckin' fire!
- The Just Dance songs that Caitlin Glass (who was watching the episode from the studio that night) joined in for.
- While describing Snugglelord's background, Zac states that his power comes from the Overlord of Geek and Sundry. Matt deadpans that that would make it an infernal pact.
- Pretty much the entire episode, but Overlord Zac's intro hints at what the viewers were in for.
Zac: I AM THE SNUGGLELORD! THERE HAVE BEEN NONE BEFORE ME AND THERE WILL BE NONE AFTER, I AM THE SNUGGLELORD!Matt: It has been decreed, here and now.
- During this, Erika is glomping Zac adorably.
- Matt is showing how you could help players immerse themselves by putting them on the spot and does it to Liam who replies with a sort of whiny cartoony voice that sells it.
- At the end of the one-off adventure Matt improvises, one of the group offers a female Halfling NPC to join their group. Matt immediately tells them to make a persuasion check... against her father.
- Having failed at this, Salty Pete then asks if instead they can have the old crone with the tiny violin. The crone is extremely excited that anyone even noticed her, and joins the group at the end of the session.
- Liam cut the twins' birthday cake with his dagger, prompting comments of it being a Sneak Attack.
Episode 13: Escape from the Underdark
- This exchange after Clarota pulls You Have Outlived Your Usefulness.
Sam: Son of a bitch, he turned on us!Travis: I knew it.Laura: I knew he was going to do that!Sam: What?! None of us knew that!Travis: (immediately puts up his hand, pulls out a sheet of note paper, shows it to the camera, and reads it aloud:) I don't trust Clarota I don't trust Clarota I don't trust Clarota...Everyone cracks upTravis: Every week!
Vax: If we live we're in for so much "I told you so"
- Scanlan later suggests not reviving Kima from her stone state because he doesn't he want her to rub it in their face about Clarota not being trustworthy.
- When Pike reawakens, the first thing she sees is Scanlan staring at her with a wide smile, covered in blood. When he asks how she is...
Pike: I'm great! Well, not really, but...I'm just gonna...pretend I'm happy so...everyone can be okay...Tiberius: That's right, Pike! Bury it deep inside!
- After Pike gives Scanlan a peck on the cheek, granting him inspiration. Vax replicates this... by kissing Percy. Percy is disappointed he doesn't get inspiration, as Mercer says they'll have to play that out a bit more.
- The "master class in wasting spells" gets a rerun as Tiberius silences Scanlan. Scanlan later gets his revenge by turning Tiberius into a mouse... except Tiberius ends up rather liking being small and furry.
- And then when Scanlan threatens to polymorph Tiberius again, he ultimately decides not to since Tiberius enjoyed it, and he's "still punishing him."
- When the gang finally gets to see the sky again...
Travis: (as Grog) Would you say it's a beautiful sight?Matt: Currently, the most beautiful sky you've seen in all of your years.Travis: I ruin it with a fart.
- The group argues about whether they should cure Kima of petrification or not. Most people are in favour of leaving her in stone form:
Scanlan: We wanna enjoy this!Tiberius: She doesn't have a sense of time -Scanlan: Or humour...
- They ultimately decide to leave her for a little bit and take her along on a celebratory pub crawl Weekend at Bernie's style.
- "I had a horrible dream that two walking testicles were hurting my mind!"
Episode 14: Shopping and Shipping
- Tiberius apparently went to Draconia to get a Bag of Holding and goes on about a few minutes about the Draconian Army, the entire time Vax and Keyleth just look at him and think he's weird.
- Matt as Scanlan and saying how he needs to think about Tiberius' trade and Vax saying how Scanlan should wait until he's of more sound mind. Scanlan agrees and says how he'll be great after a trip to the local brothel.
- Insight checks on the council, Percy rolls a 1 on Uriel and Vex rolls a 17 and when she's asked by Liam who she's Insight checking, she gets confused and says him.
- Laura jokes that Matt can just whisper it into the mic since she and Travis are Skyping in and Liam and Matt joke that he'll text it to her.
- This exchange:
Vax: I wouldn't even think about asking the gods for a shiny sword or a pile of riches, but this is different.Vex: Or a shiny sword.
- Gilmore is properly introduced, which leads to what is essentially Matt and Liam flirting with each other.
- Before the aforementioned flirting, the rest of the party "preps" Vax to talk to Gilmore. Complete with Keyleth "dad thumbing" his hair.
- One of his employees also grows more and more disdainful with every item that Vex haggles down, eventually just saying directly to Vex's face, "I don't like you."
- Gilmore's magical branding of Keyleth's armor. Does it wear off? He has no idea.
- Grog asks if there's anything that could make him smarter, and Gilmore's employee replies, deadpan, "No." Instead, Grog gets offered colouring books and crayons that are for children - and he takes them.
- After being temporarily disconnected from their Skype call, Vex is a little miffed to discover Grog has been hiding a good portion of platinum from the party, and he didn't want to part with it because it was shiny. Realizing he wasn't going to win against the team treasurer...
Grog: I'M GOING TO DRINK! (Travis storms off-camera)
- Even better is the real-life reason for what happened: they'd gotten the platinum coins so long ago Travis couldn't remember how many they had. His best guess was that it was "upward of 150." Well, ten times that amount is definitely upward...
- Also, at one point the call freezes while Travis is making a funny face directly into the camera.
- Sam may not have been present, but acting rather awkwardly toward love interests can still happen. Take Tiberius' overly-long hug for Lady Allura...
- Not to mention Orion's assumption that Kima and Allura may be more than just good friends.
Tiberius: Story of my life...
- Not to mention Orion's assumption that Kima and Allura may be more than just good friends.
- Grog's attempts to hit on Lady Kima, her awkwardly leaving after she realises what Grog is up to and, after he makes an inappropriate comment, Allura smacking him with a mage hand.
Episode 15: Skyward
- Grog bursts into a tavern to ask something and gets a crap intimidation roll. Scanlan successfully backs Grog up where he failed, resulting in the mental image of a gnome out-intimidating a goliath!
- More fun with Gilmore as Scanlan goes to request a scrying potion from him...
Gilmore: Flattery will get you EVERYWHERE~Travis: Ifyouhaveanerectionformorethan24hours...Everyone else: (completely loses it)
Vex: Did you get that potion so you could spy on Pike when she's naked?Scanlan: I am offended and terrified at the assumption that I would sink so low as to spy on my good friend — and future wife — Pike when her pantaloons are down!
- The purpose Scanlan has for this potion?
- Vex and Pike subsequently shoot down all of Scanlan's "Have I ever...?" retorts by immediately saying "Yes!" to all of them. Scanlan then acquiesces on this point.
- Tiberius takes an opportunity to take a selfie using his staff. Matt immediately (but jokingly) tells Orion he has disadvantage on his next two rolls.
- The reason why? Matt hates selfie sticks. Selfie staves, however, get a pass.
- Zac completely shooting himself in the foot by saying Vox Moronica (from episode 12) will do a rap video if the channel gets 4,000 subs (which it naturally does).
Zac: What's something crazy I could do?Liam: STREAK!
- Before that...
- Keyleth defeats one of the Wyverns... by Polymorphing it into a bunny and letting it fall to its death.
Travis: Thumper is toast...
- Before boarding the skyship, Keyleth lets herself lean over the edge of the platform to get the feeling of flying without being an animal. When the battle occurs, after being grabbed and tossed overboard by one of the creatures, she is literally flying through the air. Actually, more like "falling with style."
- Discussing Trinket's new armor, which has resistance to bludgeoning damage:
Scanlan: What if someone tried to hit Trinket with a salmon?
- When Grog interrogates a pirate by holding her over the edge of the ship:
Vex: What do you suppose we do with this thief...pirate?Captain Damen: To be perfectly honest, i'd usually throw them overboardGrog: Drop! *drops prisoner*Vex: GROG!
Episode 16: Enter Vasselheim
- The first ten minutes or so of the recorded episode is just Travis, Matt, Marisha, Orion, Laura and Liam (on an iPad) screwing around to kill time because the video intros didn't work. They re-enact both their own opening and the opening of the Brady Bunch.
- Sam enters around the time Matt is finishing up the recap, and asks to repeat all of it for him. Travis responds that he never pays attention to the recap anyway.
- Laura wonders if Keyleth could use Grasping Vine to lengthen Grog's growing beard. Thankfully, they decide not to do it.
- Vax successfully plays a prank on Grog by lengthening his beard with a fake one while he slept. Grog is none the wiser when he wakes up.
- "[Scanlan's] mind is exactly proportionate to the rest of his body, Tiberius."
- Sarenrae — the wingman you never knew you had.
- Spells 101 with Professor Tiberius Stormwind.
- Four words: Haggling with the Pope.
- Vex and Scanlan have the balls to demand a reward from what is essentially the pope of the religion of Bahamut, much to Kima's chagrin. What makes this great is Scanlan succeeding in his deception roll with a ridiculously high number (30). This translates to him saying that they'll use the money for charity (which is complete BS). The man buys it and Scanlan thanks him "...from one holy man to another".
- Even better is Kima's reaction to this lie:
Kima: Shall we? HOLY man?Scanlan: Why yes, my sister, lead the way!
- Turns out Scanlan has a +13 to his deception modifier, which stuns the rest of the party.
Taliesin: That explains so much!Travis: We gotta get you deceiving more!Marisha: You should lie more, it's good.
- During the Skill Challenge, Grog fails a Wisdom saving throw and gets hit by the fire.
Vex: Oh no, Grog, your beard has been singed!Travis: (sheer look of Oh, Crap!)Matt: (evil grin) You reach up and feel that smooth-as-a-baby-Goliath face.
- Tiberius uses the Deck of Illusion to set up a trap for some spiders. The illusions created depend on which cards he draws from a normal playing card deck. He gets two Jokers, which Matt points out make an illusion of Tiberius himself, but Orion adds "and a female version of me."
Episode 17: Hubris
- Scanlan gets the episode off to a flying start by mourning for Pike's departure in his own unique way: By finding a secluded spot in the ruined temple of Sarenrae and taking a huge dump while humming Boyz II Men's "How Do I Say Goodbye to Yesterday". Suffice to say, the whole cast loses it.
Orion: This is not romantic at all, you know that, right?Matt: (to the audience) Welcome back guys!Laura: Oh, I missed you guys.
- To top it off, since Scanlan downed a potion before doing his business, Matt makes the mistake of mentioning that Scanlan's turd is blue in color. Cue the rest of the cast bickering in their usual manner about how to respond to this situation, while a clearly embarrassed Matt just hangs his head in his hands.
Sam: I left a magic dump!Travis: Should we collect the dump? [...] I think we need the blue shit!Marisha: Can you cast detect magic on the poo?
- Before heading into an arena pit, Scanlan tells Grog to think of a fighting pseudonym. His answer...
- Scanlan's entire plan of how to occasionally check in on their MIA teammate.
- Grog's Heroic B.S.O.D. after losing the fight is as much hilarious as it is sad to watch.
Scanlan: That's not even chicken, that's just a piece of wood!
- Vex is the one who asks where the nearest whorehouse is (which is funny on several levels):
Tiberius: Don't put on that red light.Vex: We'll get you ice cream, Grog. And a whore. How's that sound?
- Matt hilariously describes a sloppy-drunk Grog's... inability to perform after spending most of the night at the bar. It was not a good day for our favorite Barbarian.
- Then to top it all off, the group takes their mid-session break immediately after it. It's finally too much for Travis, who storms off and delivers a great off-camera F Bomb.
- Tiberius's morning-after intervention, where he asks the bartender to replace Grog's ale with water. Grog's too hung over to notice.
Grog: It's pretty smooth.
- Matt reminds the party to mark off their expenses, including their gambling losses from Grog's defeat.
Travis/Grog: (pouting) Where do I mark off my loss of pride?Matt: (mimicking Travis) That would be under "Additional Notes."
- A bit unrelated, but when the party is making their preparations to fight the Hydra, Travis shines the laser pointer in his eyes, capping off this series of embarrassing events for Travis/Grog.
- Vex is the one who asks where the nearest whorehouse is (which is funny on several levels):
- Right before the Crucible fight, Keyleth polymorphs into her tiger form (nicknamed "Minxy") for no apparent reason. She stays that way through the night, then frightens a guest at the inn when she goes upstairs to look for the others.
Marisha: Why does this always happen to me?
- Vax hears the commotion and finds her, and she rolls over onto her back and demands her belly rubbed. Vax does so... then Laura and the chat point out that he essentially just groped Keyleth.
- Scanlan's unfortunate double entendre:
Scanlan: I'm going to turn us all deep green. With Seeming.Vax: With what now?Scanlan: Seeeeeming. I spread my Seeming all over us. Turning us green. With Seeming all over us.Percy: Nothing you can't ruin.
- Sam singing along to the fight music during the battle with the hydra.
- The guy from Slayer's Take yells at Vox Machina "What the FUCK WERE YOU DOING?!", they innocently reply "Killing a hydra?" totally unaware they've done anything wrong.
- Zac once again puts his foot in his mouth — as a result of hitting 5,000 subscribers he would have to wear a penguin kigurumi the day after. His apparent off-screen reaction to this: Screw This, I'm Outta Here!
- "The [person] you're looking for is...on the other page."
- One of the letters includes the line 'May your dice be blessed by anyone but Wil Wheaton.' Guess who was announced to be one of the guest stars minutes prior?
- The final gift of the episode — a selfie stick for Matt.
Episode 18: Trial of the Take, Part 1
- While Matt is introducing the show, he gets a random peck on the cheek from Orion.
Matt: Mysterious headkiss. This is the best Thursday ever!
- Percy/Taliesin putting his foot up on the table, much to the chagrin of Vex'ahlia/Laura.
- When Scanlan's introducing himself to Zahra...
Scanlan: Me? Well, I'm known by different names in different places...Grog: Ain't that the truth.Scanlan: Some call me Kingslayer...some call me Scanlan...some just call me when they want a good time.
- Vex, noticing Grog is getting bored (a dangerous thing for everyone), points out the papaya Lyra spilled on the floor, and Grog immediately starts devouring it. Then Trinket wanders in and starts eating it too, and Grog play-fights him over it. Percy, who missed breakfast, comments that he's hungry before hastening to clarify that he's not so hungry he'd eat papaya off the floor. Beautiful improvisation from all concerned.
- Zahra's introduction as she walks into the room and says "I don't know you," to everyone but Grog, who she knew due to his fight with the Hammer. Grog immediately says that was Philip the Terrible, not Grog the Unintimidated. The entire time Zahra is just indifferent to everyone.
- The Ro-Sham-Bo battle between Vex and Zahra.
- When Mary learns Zahra can't use Mask of Many Faces to copy the appearance of someone she hasn't met, she lets out a frustrated "Oh, BALLS!" (Which she later intensifies as "Balls and a half!")
- For some reason Grog is really eager to help make a campfire. First he really wants to contribute some firewood from the Bag of Holding, then he gets super excited over cutting down a tree (and says to the rest of them "Don't tell Keyleth,") then he tries and fails to light the fire after several solid minutes and pouts when Vex does it in half a second.
- Grog gets into an encounter in the wilderness and gleefully bellows "PLAY TIME!" Matt then chooses that time to...go on break, much to the chagrin of everyone else. When they come back, then he tells them to roll initiative, catching everyone off guard.
- Percy's gunslinging rampage is done in his pyjamas, with his butt showing.
Taliesin: I'm wearing the pyjamas with the butt-flap, and the butt-flap is down. The butt-flap is DOWN!
- Later, Matt reminds Taliesin that, since he's already established that he's wearing the pyjamas with the butt-flap, Percy's Armor Class is lower than normal. Taliesin vows revenge.
- The group manages to capture and interrogate one of the enemies, an orc, for information about the dragon. The moment the prisoner has nothing more to say, Grog (because it's Grog) decapitates him. What makes this a winner:
- Scanlan's total indifference. "Oh no. Stop. Wait."
- Lyra is outraged because it's not how she wants to conduct things "as the leader" and calls a Talk Circle. Grog tries to make amends by offering her the orc's severed head to keep, incidentally getting brain matter all over her clothes. "There's loads of stuff in it!"
- Percy's obviously put off but tries to rally by joking about taking a tongue instead of the whole head - which Grog decides to actually do, causing Percy to Face Palm.
- After an off-hand question from Percy, making camp to rest is officially (that is, by Lyra) re-designated "Sleepytimes."
- As they ride for the dragon's lair, Lyra (with some excellent comedic timing from Felicia) tells the party aaaaaaall about Aldor. Scanlan eggs her on the entire time, leaving Vex and Percy near-comatose from boredom while Grog and Zahra make a deal.
Grog: Can we make an agreement? I kill you, you kill me?Zahra: Yes.
- Grog knows things. Watch Percy/Taliesin looking more and more scandalised, too.
Scanlan: Grog, what's the term for when your penis is inverted? The opposite of a boner?Grog: Bellybutton.
- Matt ruling on Lyra's various failed checks.
Matt: (insight on a prisoner) He looks...constipated?Matt: (religion on a distant glowing blue thing in some ruins) It's spooky and you don't like it.Matt: (perception on finding a path up a mountain) You've read about mountains and you've seen pictures of them, but you've never seen one up close. They're a lot bigger than you thought they'd be.
Episode 19: Trial of the Take, Part 2
- Laura playing as Grog. Priceless.
- Rolling a 1 as the first thing Laura-Grog does is phenomenal.
Travis: I heard I rolled really well in the beginning of this.Matt: Yeah, wonderfully. (makes a 'shhhh' motion to the camera)
- Apparently according to Laura, Giant sounds a little bit like a cross between Tim "the Tool Man" Taylor and Taz the Tasmanian Devil.
- Rolling a 1 as the first thing Laura-Grog does is phenomenal.
- For once, Scanlan tries to be the trap detector of the team. It...doesn't go well.
- In a hilarious Call-Back to before the campaign was livestreamed, Scanlan introduces himself to Rimefang as Burt Reynolds. Hilarity Ensues.
- Specifically, Matt - in character as Rimefang - addresses Scanlan as "Burt" and only narrowly manages to avoid cracking up entirely.
- "You leave when Burt Reynolds tells you to leave!"
- Somehow, Felicia rolls -1 for initiative against Rimefang.
- Felicia: I'm never going! I'm just going to have a snack.
- The chat rolls a natural 1 on research checking when it turns out Dragons being Vex's favored enemy doesn't give her advantage on her rolls.
- Matt: The chat would like to Rage.
- Grog rescues Scanlan from death's door by rage-feeding him a potion and then slinging him across the floor like a curling stone.
- Vex fires an exploding arrow right after Percy's grenade explodes, leading to Matt describing the hilarious image of Grog and Scanlan ducking and taking cover twice in a row, and Percy...er...'apologizing'.
Percy: I'm sorry, I'm a genius, I'm sorry! Oh, god I'm clever!
- Turns out Vanessa and her husband had a bet going to see if Vex's team would make it back alive. (To her credit, Vanessa did bet in favor of the team.)
- Zahra's conversation with Trinket is both this and heartwarming. First he tells Zahra that he'll do anything to protect his Vex (at which Vex/Laura squees in joy), then Zahra asks him if he's a boy (while the party says he's a guy) and Trinket leans back in a position that shows his genitalia. Lyra covers her eyes and says "Eww!" but Scanlan says "It's like looking in a mirror!" with a grin.
- After Trinket nuzzles Vex to show affection, Lyra says she wishes Aldor would do that to her. Scanlan replies "Show you his giant cock?" and everyone cracks up. Lyra ends up saying "I saw it once, it was glorious!"
- While Lyra was politely declining membership in Vox Machina:
Lyra: I really appreciate it, but um — given the kiss that we had [Scanlan], I realize why Aldor doesn't love me is that I don't have enough experience — sexually. So, I need to stay in town to spread my wings in that area.Zahra: Spread your what?
- Even though Percy and Vex had it covered, Grog rolls a history check on the contract writer. It ends very poorly.
- One of the fan letters is essentially a restraining order for Lyra from Aldor.
- When Rimefang attempts to sway the mind-controlled Frost Giants to his side:
Mary/Zahra: I use... fuck me.(everyone loses it)Felicia: What's the DC on that?Mary: It's very high!
Episode 20: Trial of the Take, Part 3
- EVERYTHING between Keyleth and Kashaw.
Kashaw: Is she always like this?
- Triple combination of a Crowning Moment of Funny, Crowning Moment of Awesome, and a Tear Jerker: The Wheaton Dice Curse rears its head once again. Not even Matt switching their d20s helps. (And Matt's increasing disbelief and astonishment is amusing, also.) According to Wil, he rolled five 1s that night.
Wil: HAHA, THERE IT IS!Orion: 20?
- "Please let me step into a bucket..."
- He critically fails a History check for information about a wealthy merchant, so Matt rules that on top of knowing nothing, he can't remember the guy's name.
- Wil's final roll of the night after the game has wrapped up? 19.
- Meta example: Laura did not react well to Kashaw's idea of trying to score a date with Vex.
- And it was prompted by Kashaw asking Vax what his twin sister looks like. Vax points at himself.
- Thorbir's opinion of an elven wine vintage: Giant Dwarven Airquotes, "wine".
- When things were about to throw down, Keyleth uses windwall to close the doors, shutters, and blow out all candle lights.
Keyleth: I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that, I... I sometimes... get a little out of control, but remain calm, alright!? Jesus... REMAIN CALM!Tiberius: Look, you calm down!Keyleth: (not calm) I'M SORRY! I'M TRYING TO REMAIN CALM, TOO!Kashaw: (deadpan) Doing a great job.Keyleth: (still freaking out) THANK YOU! ...OKAY!
Matt: (points to Marisha) Persuasion Check.Marisha: Dammit! note
- Right after that:
Tiberius: More calm, more calm, more calm.Kashaw: (deadpan) Still doing a great job with the calm.Keyleth: (still not calm) I'm trying. Sorry, I get emotional.Kashaw: (deadpan) I got it. Yeah.
- And as they're grilling Vince for information:
- After a few too many terrible rolls, Kashaw winds up making an Insight check on Thorbir out of suspicion that 1) Thorbir is deliberately sabotaging the group and/or 2) the Slayer's Take is actually composed of idiots, because he can't think of a good reason anyone could be that unhelpful.
- When Kashaw slips and goes deeper into the tunnel, Tiberius and Keyleth can't help themselves and willingly slide after him for fun.
Episode 21: Trial of the Take, Part 4
- For his first turn, Tiberius spends six minutes using two spells and doing the math for them, as Marisha jokingly says upon his turn finally ending, "I knitted a sweater."
- Keyleth wants you to be our guest. None of the others are even slightly into it, possibly due to the acid-dunking they know to be imminent. Poor Keyleth.
- The Wheaton Dice Curse comes back with a vengeance. In particular, the initiative roll after Wil finally lands Natural 20 promptly restores the balance.
Wil: 20, MOTHERFUCKERS! I want to know everything about him. I want to know his parents' name, I want to know his Social Security Number, I want to know what his bank account balance is, and I WANT TO KNOW HIS ASHLEY MADISON PASSWORD!
- And what did Wil — who's playing a dwarven fighter, remember — roll that 20 on? An Insight check.
- Due to the Wheaton Curse, one of the rats bites Thorbir in his Dwarf Crotch. This is totally a canonical thing in all games.
- Kashaw takes part of his turn in combat to say "Seriously?"
- Tiberius Kraghammer gets a callback.
- When the carpet loses its enchantment from the acid, Vax laments that Vex is going to kill him. Indeed, you could hear a Big "NO!" from Laura right as he says this. The best part is the timing.
Vax: Vex is gonna kill us.Kashaw: Who's Vex?(Laura's and Travis's screams echo from the other room. Liam cringes.)Vax: My sister.
- A possessed Vax attacks Kashaw three times...which Liam O'Brien finds hilarious for some reason
Kashaw/Will: WHY ARE YOU SMILING?
- Kashaw's more than a little squeamish at having to harvest the remains of the Rakshasa. Will gets Matt to lose it with one line:
Kashaw: Thorbir, you want the taint? There's tons of magic in it.(Matt actually collapses laughing)
- Laura and Wil both lament that a chance for them to play in the same sessions together was missed. (Nodding to both of them appearing in Titansgrave, of course.)
Laura: We could've both been rolling 1s!Wil: Get Yuri in here and we'll create a singularity.
- Matt's at a loss for words with the last present, but...
Matt: ...Well, guys... roll initiative.Everyone Else: Oh, Crap!
- Kashaw's exit. He pays his respects to the party, turns to Keyleth and tells her, "And you... you might be the most annoying person I've ever met in my life." Then he kisses her, winks, and walks out. It's Keyleth's First Kiss, too!
Episode 22: AraMente to Pyrah
- The first thing Taliesin does in the episode is clear the air of Wil's shit rolling, or try to. It doesn't help — he eventually did roll a 1.
- Travis's advice on the Gynosphinx:
Travis: You saw Harry Potter. The hippogriff will jack you up. BOW BACK.
- Vex comments that Vanessa won't be happy with what she sees through Scanlan's eyes. Playing for an absent Sam, Matt just nods enthusiastically in response.
- Turns out Pike found the scry-enchanted dump that Scanlan left at the temple.
- "Let's not rub shit on the carpet."
- The instant Vanessa dismisses Vox Machina, they immediately talk about their experiences while divided, and they go back-and-forth trying to one-up each other. There's also everything else, especially Vex's reactions to Vax and Keyleth being "married" and the news about the carpet, which she does not take very well.
- And all throughout, Matt is trying to keep a straight face.
- Vax reporting on the Big Damn Kiss
Vax: He planted one on Keyleth.Grog: Planted one what? Like a tree?
- Vex giving Grog a "Shut Up" Kiss to stop his complaining about not getting a kiss compared to Keyleth and Scanlan.
Grog: What the fuck just happened?
- Describing Zahra featuring Percy's helpful counting.
Grog: She had horns -Percy: Two of them.Grog: - and teeth.Percy: More than two.Vex: And eyes!Percy: Definitely two.
- Keyleth telling the story of Kashaw and her First Kiss is adorable and hilarious, thanks to Marisha's acting. It's even funnier the second time, when she's telling Pike.
Pike: (after Keyleth describes the god Vesh) Oh. Ohhhh.Matt: You don't know who that is.Pike: I don't know who that is! (everyone starts laughing)
- Then there's this exchange after Keyleth explains who Vesh is:
Vex: Wait, wait, wait. A guy... who's married to a god... kissed you?Percy: Oh, yes, I see how that could work out poorly.Pike: What if she gets... mad?Keyleth: You know, I thought about that a little bit, and then I tried not to think about that a lotta bit, so... yes.
- Then there's this exchange after Keyleth explains who Vesh is:
- Matt's amazing scene as the pet salesman, and his other stint as the cartographer. For example:
Tiberius: (after buying a sickly pseudodragon) Any tips for - you know, food-wise...?Matt: Don't let it die. Feed it. Give it water.
- Naturally, Grog is the exact opposite of Vex when it comes to haggling — he gives away more than what the merchant asked for in exchange for a potion. Percy was there, but became too appalled to speak.
Grog: Vex will be so proud of me!
- Vex gets completely plastered due to Vax losing the carpet's enchantment and Grog's attempt at haggling the merchant. And possibly due to kissing Grog himself beforehand.
- A particularly loud belch in the room causes Keyleth to compliment Grog. Marisha's wrong — it was Laura! Everyone's reaction to that is what sells it.
- The group feels proud of their high-brow jokes:
Percy is examining two different paths.Percy: That wouldn't make much of a difference.Matt: (smugly) We're cultured.
- When the Fire Ashari trap the party in a wall of stone, Grog does a strength check and Pike decides to assist. Grog rolls a 19 and Pike decides not to assist and it turns heartwarming for a moment as Grog says he'll welcome Pike's help anytime. It then turns funny again.
Pike: I rolled a 9. Tink!
- Keyleth transforms into a water elemental to take on a fire elemental. Matt points out that her attack means she catches on fire... then immediately houserules that no, a water elemental can't catch on fire. Because that's stupid.
- At one point in the battle, Grog's beard once again catches on fire.
Matt: The smell of burning hair once again reaches your nostrils.(Travis frowns)Liam/Vax: It could be your pubes; don't jump to conclusions!Travis/Grog: I'm hairless! I don't have any pubes!
- In an attempt to end the fight, Tiberius asks the last fire elemental, "Do you really need me to do this?" Matt explains that the fire elemental cannot speak, causing Liam to imitate it gurgling through the flames with his arms waving in the air.
- Cue the rest of the group imitating the fire elemental as "like one of those creatures at a gas station", proceeding to wave their arms in the air like inflatable tube men.
- Tiberius stops himself from being on fire by using Control Flames to juggle them.
- One of the presents Travis gets is a consolation medal for his narrow loss at the Crucible. Despite Travis's outrage, Matt decides to make it canon.
Travis: (to the gifter) Canada ain't far enough buddy, I'm coming for ya! Son of a bitch, it comes with a ribbon... It just keeps stinging.
Episode 23: The Rematch
- Liam's one-off joke about a "Tiefling Trio" in the previous episode (backed by a fanart piece) is made canon when Scanlan claims to have run into Zahra and had a "slumber party" while the rest of Vox Machina were journeying to Pyrah.
Travis: Can I roll to see if he's bullshitting?Matt: You can go ahead, this would be Insight.Travis: Yeah, Grog Insight check! Modifier is 0 — that's a 9.Matt: You are enthralled by his tale.
- Tiberius wants Grog and Kern to have their rematch, so he encourages violence. Grog immediately takes off running through Vasselheim to find his opponent.
- Keyleth's attempt to get an audience for the Grog/Kern rematch.
- Everyone betting on Grog. Percy bets 500 gold, Tiberius bets 612, Grog bets 1363, Vex bets 600, and Keyleth bets... 5.
- Also Scanlan secretly betting 100 gold against Grog.
- Keyleth, again, trying to spread the message about the fight - except that she's whispering to Taliesin, who is in full sass mode:
Keyleth: Yeah, yeah, did you see that? Kern's fighting Phillip!Percy: Why are you telling me this? Of course I know.Keyleth: Oh. (to Orion) Kern's fighting -Tiberius: I also know this.Percy: Maybe make a friend. Like a new friend.
- When the fight starts, the party as well as their players are very engrossed in it. In fact, they're even given popcorn!
- Vex's, uh... fanservice. Yeah, fanservice.
Vax: Can they make me unsee my sister's boobies?
Scanlan: Ohmigod it's her tits it's her tits! She just showed her tits that's inspiring!
- Even better? Scanlan's immediate reaction and the look on both Matt and Travis's faces.
- Scanlan's Cutting Words to Kern during his fight with Grog.
Scanlan: Hey-hey Kern! Do you need some dick because I gave some to your mom last night!
- After the battle, Scanlan goes up to Grog and suggests that he be a graceful winner, find Kern, acknowledge him as a worthy opponent and make sure they understand each other. "You won't feel good about yourself unless you do." With the most perfect comedic timing imaginable, Matt describes a bookie handing Grog a huge sack of gold.
Grog: (beat) Fuck that shit.
Taliesen: And that, kids, is Chaotic Neutral.
- Travis saying afterwards that he really was going to do it right up until the gold is arguably the cherry.
- Keyleth and Tiberius getting arrested for helping. They get rescued by Scanlan doing his Burt Reynolds routine again.
Scanlan: Good thing you were represented by an Ace Attorney!Orion: (in Apollo Justice's voice) HOLD IT!
Matt: However, if I see either of you two causing any trouble anywhere in Vassalheim... it's down to the oubliette you go, you hear me?Scanlan: Ooh, say that word again, what? Oubliette?Matt: (still in character) The (incoherent mumbling and baby noises as he fails to pronounce everything, looking at his hands in horror). What is wrong with me? Get out of here!Everyone: (bursts out laughing)Scanlan: You've been bested!Tiberius: He's speaking Draconian!
- In that very same scene, Matt dissolving into Angrish (in character!) when he tries to pronounce "oubliette".
Taliesin: (in character) "Excuse me? If someone were to be an idiot, where would you hold them while other people decided how much of an idiot they were?"
- It flew over everyone's head (except for Orion), but Taliesin's one liner regarding Tiberius' suggestion they just ask the other guards where they were taken after being arrested.
- Everybody misinterprets Grog's request to go to a tavern, find a young boy, and ask him if he'd like to make some money. He just wants someone to send Kern his participation medal.
Travis: You sick fucks!
Scanlan: Would you like any young boys to come with you?
- This gets a Call-Back later when Grog asks for the twins to go with him to speak with Earthbreaker Grune.
- Percy's conversation with Victor the black powder prospector. Taliesin could barely compose himself during the scene, everyone else was flat-out corpsing.
Vex: ...Is that a pig's head?Keyleth: It is literally a pig's head.Percy: I don't - yes. It is in fact a pig's head. It's complicated.
- When Matt first speaks as Victor, Sam and Liam both look over in sync at Matt after looking down at the table/away.
- When Percy leaves the house, after a moment trying to process what just happened, he crowns the whole scene by announcing that he is going to "become very excited at the prospect of a new accent."
- And the result, in which Victor gives Percy a hogshead worth of black powder:
- Percy's visit to the blacksmith's after being covered in blackpowder who repeatedly asks him to not enter the forge and part of Percy's haggling is to promise to shower twice which the blacksmith agrees to.
- This exchange:
Matt: (as a Tavernmaster) Apparently [Earthbreaker Grune] was summoned to watch your battle.Vex: And what does that mean?Matt: (still in character) I have no fucking clue!
- Kynan's meeting with Vox Machina is this, heartwarming and a tearjerker but the funniest parts are when he fanboys over Vox Machina and begging to join and Vax non-lethal sneak attacks him for 66 damage.
- Right after the break, the entire party gets smashed at a pub. It's awesome. Tiberius falls over, and Percy starts slurring out "brilliant but slightly inebriated" thoughts and insulting Keyleth's antlers.
Tiberius: I'm sure you'd like to go to a pub of some sorts?Keyleth: We're in a pub!Tiberius: Oh, fuck!Scanlan: That's how drunk we are.
Episode 24: The Feast
- Percy's lesson about messing with his things instils a temporary fear of water into Grog that episode. As the rest of the party try to clean him up and make him presentable for the formal event, he freaks when Tiberius approaches with Prestidigitation, but then comes to the conclusion that Percy's powder (probably baking soda or lime) made him "immune" to water. Tiberius tries to correct him and Vex cuts him off to say yep, totally, he's immune to water now.
- The entire catastrophe with the sigils to Kraghammer. First, Tiberius gets caught up in the Lyceum bureaucracy. Then he manages to piss off house Thunderbrand again. Then, when Vax gets them a way into Kraghammer, Tiberius manages to burn through all his spell slots by casting Fly on the journey over, so he can't cast the glyph spell anyway.
- This exchange:
Grog: Does she get advantage because I was talking about testicles?Matt: There is no testicle advantage here.Liam: When would testicle advantage count?Sam: Gilmore's.
- While Vex, Grog, Tiberius, and Scanlan are in Kraghammer, they pretend that Vax, Percy, Trinket and Keyleth are dead to get a better deal. And while those four are away, because Vex made Vax bear-sit Trinket, Vax and Keyleth are braiding Trinket's fur. And then Percy walks in on them... and then Matt describes Trinket's expression...
Matt: You hear Trinket make some low noises which you're pretty sure translate to "Whhhhyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?"
- Tiberius cheerfully lets Percy test Diplomacy on him with a handshake, and then tries to congratulate Percy on his work while suffering after-effects of the shock.
- When Vax sneaks away from the party to go visit Kainen and rolls a total of 32, Tiberius decides to fart and rolls a Natural 20.
- Vax'ildan pranking Grog once again by shaving half of his now glorious beard. Travis is so pissed by the Natural 20 Stealth check he breaks his mechanical pencil in half.
Travis as Grog: I reach up and just say in a low, guttural growl, "Vax."Laura: Why are you so evil?!Liam: Magic is mysterious! Who's to say you couldn't grow half a heard due to magic?Travis: You're right, I don't know. Let's say I assume.
- And the result of this, shared on Twitter.
- "Hello, I'm Tiberius Stormwind! I'm from Draconia!" Said at least five times throughout the episode, to the point where some of the others finish his line.
- Taliesin describes the daggers that Vax buys from Gilmore as "so sharp they can cut the sexual tension."
- Speaking of sexual tension, Gilmore literally dropping everything and teleporting in from another continent is both a heartwarming sign that he cares and a hilarious sign that he has absolutely zero chill where Vax is concerned.
- Keyleth's attempt to haggle with Sherri goes about as well as Grog's try in Vasselheim a couple weeks prior. Possibly worse. She rolled a 1 on Persuasion.
- Vax, made invisible by Scanlan, decides to stand behind Vex making a weird face (which Liam acts out behind Laura). Without looking, Vex says "I can sense you, you dick," so he stops, thwarted, and gives her the finger. Prime sibling shenaniganry.
- The first time Tiberius (quite successfully!) flirts with Allura outside the dinner party, Sam tells him to "walk away, walk away!" (probably before he can put his foot in his mouth). Immediately, Tiberius walks away. Then, at the actual party, he strikes up another conversation with her that also goes surprisingly well. He says "I walk away again" — at which point Matt points out that he's walking away from the table in the middle of dinner.
- Taliesin making terrified squeaking noises as the game draws to a close and complaining that if the Briarwoods wind up being responsible for a TPK "I'm going to feel like such an asshole."
Matt: (cheerily) Man, that'd be rough.Taliesin: (with his face on the table, muffled) I hate you.
Episode 25: Crimson Diplomacy
- The reveal of Zac/Snugglelord's new dakimakura, which most of the bottom table were sitting on.
Taliesin: God, I feel so dirty sitting on this pillow—ah! ...So comfy...
- Vax trying to talk his way out of the Briarwoods' bedroom.
Vax: Gosh, you guys are good-looking.
- Keyleth in eagle form makes a poop on a servant within the palace. Said servant turns out to be official Critical Role artist Kit Buss' character in disguise.
- Life Lessons by Liam O'Brien.
- In pursuit of Vax, Sylas leaps from the window and makes a perfect three-point landing. Delilah follows... and blows the athletics roll, landing flat on her ass and getting knocked prone.
- Combination this, awesome, and heartwarming: The group comes to rescue Vax from the Briarwoods, and Percy gets a Bad News hit on Sylas just as Vax regains consciousness.
Liam/Vax: As [Percy] reloads, weakly, behind him, I go "(coughs)...Hi Percy..."
- Though her use of the Feeblemind spell is terrifying, Lady Briarwood's exchange before casting it is pretty funny.
Delilah: [extremely dryly] Yes... I know.
- Matt describing Sylas Briarwood getting briefly distracted by Scanlan, and then performing a "vampiric eyeroll".
- When the group decides to repay Lilith for helping save their lives...
Vex: Any... "watcher" who comes after you, we'll... fight them. We're very strong right now and full of health.(Vax immediately collapses onto his face)
- Kit's fumbling descriptions of the fight. It sounds like a Harlequin romance novel cover!
Lillith: Flames everywhere! And ripped dresses! And heaving bosoms! Oh, my Lord, it was awful!
- The Black Comedy jokes about the old witch who attacks them at the end.
- Percy has a brief Did I Just Say That Out Loud? moment about his "Your soul is forfeit!" line.
Percy: That did come out, didn't it.
- Reduced to 1 Intelligence and 1 Charisma by Lady Briarwood's Feeblemind spell, Tiberius suddenly turns into something of a Team Pet, licking everyone on the face. At the end of the episode, Scanlan licks his face in return.
Orion: (as Tiberius) I lick all of Vox Machina.
Orion: (as Tiberius) I lick Grog the most.
- When Grog shows to be uncomfortable with the licking
- Vax, post a very close brush with death, unburdens himself: he tells Tiberius that's he really smart, Vex that she's awesome and he loves her, Percy that he's totally willing to help him pursue vengeance, thanks Scanlan for saving his ass, acts hilariously awkward around Keyleth, lets Trinket lick his face and for Grog: free retaliation for the beard-shaving incident. Drawing a pair of testicles on his face, shaving his pubes, anything. Grog considers, graciously offers Vax his hand - and backhands him to the floor (which Vax just takes) and declares killing Vax his job. In a weird way, it's sweet.
- Scanlan finds himself at the forefront of the team facing off against the Briarwoods.
Scanlan: Hello. What a lovely dinner we haLIGHTNING!
- At the end, when Vox Machina has the final member of the Broker's party at their mercy, they have completely had enough after a long night of intrigue and combat, and are totally willing to humiliate their foe.
Vax: I know what to do. Scanlan.Scanlan: Oy.Vax: This is your moment. Shit on his face.
Vax: My sister is right. Do it on his chest.
- Vex protests heavily at this, calling it disgusting. In fact, the protestations seem to come more from Laura herself, out of character. Scanlan protests too... because he can't just do that on command. Eventually, Vax gives into his sister's complaints.
Episode 26: Consequences and Cows
- Matt mentions that neither Percy nor Lillith have come down for breakfast after the long, long night that was Episode 25. Grog and Scanlan immediately assume it's because they spent the night together. Even once Vex returns with a letter from Lillith, explaining that she's left for the sake of Vox Machina's safety, Grog and Scanlan basically react with "Nope, she's banging Percy" — and then Grog kicks Percy's bedroom door down without a second thought.
- The group confronts Tiberius about his actions in the last episode, and Scanlan puts it pithily as always:
Scanlan: We love you very much, but you killed an old lady.
- A bit of Black Comedy when Matt plays a slightly BSODing Percy in Taliesin's absence:
Keyleth: Everyone in the city hates us!Percy: (as played by Matt) ...Great.
- Despite it causing a lot of trouble for them, the group continues the Black Comedy jokes about the old lady from the last episode, claiming that "old people" are now Vox Machina's Favoured Enemy.
- Drunken Tiberius.
Tiberius: I'm Tiberius Stormwind. (to Keyleth) You are Princess pretty-face. (boops her on the nose)
- The brief confusion about where everybody is, resulting in the group trying to decide whether Keyleth has pushed a drunk Tiberius off the roof or not.
- "I encourage sandwich!"
- Keyleth is so angry during this episode, and her rage culminates in:
Keyleth: I conjure an army of bears.
- The entire group concocts a brilliant plan to attract a giant bird outside the city: Scanlan turns them all into cows. Grog tries to eat grass.
Scanlan: It's cowmoflauge!Matt: ...I have to give you roleplaying experience for that.
Matt: Roll for cow stealth.Liam: (rolls) Twenty-three.Matt: You're still a cow.Travis: (as Grog) I go into a cow rage and start chewing faster.
- Tiberius awkwardly trying to introduce himself in his usual manner, and is quickly informed that he is still speaking in Common.
- Vax decides to go stealthy. In cow form.
- And then the giant bird swoops down and captures Keyleth. Scanlan teleports up to its wing, and Tiberius casts fly on the group. Seeming is still active, which leads to Matt describing the beautiful image of six cows flying against the moon.
- And then Keyleth Polymorphs the bird...into a cow.
- The ending of the episode. Vox Machina watches a roc fly off into the sunrise. Grog realizes that this means a new day has dawned, and immediately rolls a beard check.
Critical Rejects, part 2
- Like the first part of this instalment in episode 12, far too many moments to count. The main gimmick of the chat suggesting what happened next at any moment provided the majority of them.
- Matt's slow descent into madness over the course of the session, as a result of said gimmick. Particularly his "oh god no" reaction to Salty Pete getting a Deck of Many Things.
- One chat-mandated moment needs special mention though: Salty Pete looks at his hand to find his lost fingers are back. When he tries to touch them, they vanish, and he hears the laughter of the Pit Fiend hunting him (due to the Deck of Many Things) in the distance. The monotone text-to-speech voice that reads the chat messages makes it even funnier.
- The Gender Flip curse everyone is hit by even extends to Ulfgar's swords, as "Linda" and "Regina" become "Larry" and "Robert".
- Marisha revealing during the "Where Are They Now?" Epilogue that Edna was the old lady that got murdered at the hands of Tiberius in episode 25.
- An accidental one. Right after Matt describes Ulfgar's killing blow against the Gibbering Mouther, there is a long silence before Dan's phone goes off. What is his ringtone? The MLG airhorn.
Episode 27: The Path to Whitestone
- What Vax'ildan said to Grog after getting the deathblow on the Invisible Stalkers.
Vax'ildan: You softened the shit of him -Liam: That's terrible English.
- "Strategy chub".
- Scanlan puts a vial of volatile holy water down his pants.
Matt: What was once holy...
- Tiberius tries to throw his weight around in Draconia, and Matt gives him a fantastic response:
Matt as Tiberius' father: You have one chance before I set aside this intrusion to my work as mere poppycock.
- Taliesin translates Keyleth's water-elemental language by gargling a glass of water.
Liam's reaction: I love doing this show!
- The group describing Tiberius's weapon as "a stick with daggers taped to either end."
- A bit of squabbling and confusion happens over whether Keyleth is helping Percy or Tiberius with their errands before leaving for Whitestone.
Keyleth/Marisha: I need to do shit too! I can't be everyone's bitch!
- Travis/Grog gets very impatient with all the shopping.
Grog: Keyleth, I want you to summon an elemental and have it smash everything in the castle.
- Scanlan being invisible and sneaking on Percy and Keyleth's conversation.
- Vex trying to get Grog to throw something to distract a creature:
Vex: Pick up something really heavy!Grog: I pick up Scanlan.
Episode 28: The Sun Tree
- Before the game starts, Sam is mentioning there's something he's in but can't remember what, and thinks Matt is in it too, and that their characters probably have sex. Matt just replies, "Probably."
- When Vex'alia casts Hail of Thorns and it'll hit Grog, Travis replies with a posh accent.
Travis: Would that be considered piercing, bludgeoning or slashing damage?Matt: (equally posh) It doesn't matter, because you haven't taken your turn to rage yet.Travis: Oh, fucking shit.
- Percy rolls two misfires in one fight, to the point where the barrel of the List breaks off, which prompts the comment:
- Matt briefly takes over the role of Tiberius in order to give him a Written-In Absence. When Sam/Scanlan goes all Watsonian, grilling Matt/Tiberius about whether his departure is justified, Matt chooses to take a jab at Orion's metagaming tendencies by doing a dead-on impression of Orion breaking character to explain the Doylist reasons.
- Grog manages to roll a Natural 20 for Intelligence.
- CSI Miami a la Scanlan:
Scanlan: Looks like these giants were in...big trouble.Matt: In the distance, you hear "YEAAAAAAAAHHHHH"!
- Sam makes a quick jab at Matt for mispronouncing the word "sigil". Matt doesn't say anything, just starts making rolls behind the DM screen - and the rest of the group starts jokingly turning on Scanlan.
- Basically the entire conversation about weaponizing Scanlan's magical scrying poop.
Episode 29: Whispers
- After everything Vox Machina has been through, their most daunting obstacle or enemy turns out to be a church door.
- Scanlan may have taken more damage from the door than he did in the fight at the end of the episode.
- While rolling for initiative in the fight against the banshee, Sam declares he rolled a 7, and and Taliesen answers that he got an eleven, so technically they can get a Slurpee.
- Scanlan pretending to be a little orphan boy and Vex as his crazy-eyed grandmother.
Scanlan: I'm her seeing-eye boy.
- Scanlan's Metaphorgotten re: Vox Machina's "once a day" hit list:
Scanlan: Like a Flintstones vitamin, but with assassination.
- Grog's idea of how to ambush Sir Stonefell, being a missionary of axe in the face.
Grog: Hello, I'd like to share the news of our lord and saviour MY AXE IN YOUR FACE!
- Vox Machina ambushing Sir Stonefell...while under an illusion spell to make them all look like a bunch of dirty peasants.
- Keyleth clotheslines Sir Stonefell's assistant with her staff and knocks him to 0 hit points.
Episode 30: Stoke the Flames
- This is a Halloween episode, so all the players are in costume. Sam is dressed as Burt Reynolds and Travis is crossdressing as a bar wench who "loves only one man...Scanlan."
- Liam Corpsing in the middle of a dramatic scene because he can't take Sam's moustache seriously.
- Matt is dressed as Geralt, and wonders if he's ever slept with "Helga the Bar Wench". Travis tries to take advantage of the joke:
Travis/Helga: Do I get advantage all night long?Matt: (smiling beatifically) No.
- Scanlan asking "Helga the Bar Wench" if they've ever been together. Travis plays it up, pointing to his Scanlan tattoo, but Matt's response is the best part:
Travis: I carved it into my arm with a pen after our night together...where have you been my whole life? (sees Matt glaring at him) Sorry.Matt: (beat) It's canon.
- Vax and Grog watching Percy sleep and trying to figure out what the smoke came out of.
- Vex's Call-Back to Percy's pyjama rampage in Episode 18:
Vex: Is your buttflap down again?Percy: The buttflap of my soul is down. I am well-dressed at the moment.
- Scanlan's entire turn where he simultaneously pees on the wall and fires a wand of magic missiles, prompting comments about him "dual-wielding". Liam is laughing so hard that Vax has to hold his turn.
- And then (thanks to Mercer using Rule of Funny on the vampiric "running water" weakness) he kills the last vampire in that same fight by using Vicious Mockery and pissing on it.
- The gets retroactively even funnier when it's revealed that Sam's mother was in the studio that session.
- Everybody trying to say Percy's full name and getting it completely wrong. And then Percy says it...and also gets it wrong (when he's usually able to recite the whole thing on a dime).
Vex: Only one person would know the entire name of Percival de...something—Percy: (starts laughing hysterically)
- The entire time Vax and Scanlan are disguised as father and son in a tavern and spreading the word, Scanlan plays the part of a little boy whose father is a bit rough with him so well to spread the word to an NPC named Patrick, who completely buys it. Everyone is just laughing their asses off the whole time and Matt's trying so hard not to.
- Sam even rolls a 39 for Persuasion and a 29 for Deception, he was that convincing.
Episode 31: Gunpowder Plot
- When Scanlan Polymorphs into a Triceratops, Matt says, somewhat embarrassed, that he doesn't have a Triceratops mini... but he does have a Stegosaurus (or rather a "Bloodspike Behemoth") and decides to use it since it's about the same size. Taliesin complains that "that's kinda racist", while Matt counters saying it's not like the dinosaurs are around to argue.
- During Scanlan's rampage through the house, the other players have to be reminded several times that they cannot give Sam advice, since they are not physically present, which comes to a head when Sam (mistakenly) tells the others he has no source of fire and thus cannot accomplish the mission he was sent there to do:
Marisha: How did this plan happen, then? Why didn't you say "I don't have fire"? I said, "Hey Scanlan, I should come with you," and you said, "Uh, I can take care of myself! How many times to I have to tell you guys I don't need your help?"Matt: The echoing voice in the back of your mind as you imagine this is what Keyleth would be saying right now.
- Travis saying that Scanlan is a legend and like Rambo. Sam, in turn, wears his tie like a bandanna.
- As Vex is shooting three retreating guards in the back:
Scanlan: Tell them about Gilmore's Glorious Goods!
- As Matt geeks out over the woodcarved map of Tal'dorei...
Travis: Not the only wood at that table, is it Matt?Matt: No, not anymore.
- Probably the last person you'd expect falling victim to Accidental Innuendo:
Matt: (referring to Keyleth trying to Retcon her movement) You can't get halfway in and be like "wait, this didn't happen!"Taliesin: (snorts)Travis: (realizes what Taliesin's laughing at, and starts laughing)Taliesin: (to Travis) Thank you for coming with me on that journey.
- Grog gets a little mixed up when he finds a secret hatch and calls for Vex or Vax to check for "boobies". Post trap-check, he declares that there are "no boobies." It's the way no one bothers correcting Grog (and Travis' straight-faced delivery) that make it.
Episode 32: Against the Tide of Bone
- Scanlan's attempts to show off for Pike upon her return, using... creative ways of casting Lightning Bolt. Matt even snarks that it was an arcane display of virility if there ever was one.
Vex: How can you even aim like that, Scanlan?Scanlan: I have practice aiming things with my ass in this campaign.Matt: Very true, sadly.
- Speaking of creative ways to use spells, Keyleth concentrates on using Heat Metal to make Vax's daggers super-hot and deal additional fire damage as a nod to the Pathfinder days where she used the spell on Grog's great axe all the time. Unfortunately, he drops his daggers due to failing his Constitution save.
- It's funny enough that he dropped them and burnt his hands, but what sells it is Keyleth having such a smug look on her face, unaware of what happened until she looks at Vax again.
- When Pike's explaining how she knew she had to help the party, she says she felt a disturbance in the Force. Matt then tells her Allura sent her a letter and she amends "I got a letter!"
- Grog ruins a rather touching moment between Vax and Percy by farting in his sleep. In retaliation, Vax takes some of Percy's black powder and draws a ballsack on Grog's forehead, complete with pubic hairs.
- When the party has a Heroes' Feast prepared by Pike, Laura excitedly asks if that means they all do holy damage. Matt replies, "No... but holy shit it's delicious!"
- Pike alone moves a statue out of the way when the rest of Vox Machina pushing together didn't budge it. To add to the funny, Grog rolls a Natural 1 on Strength and throws out his back!
- The entire group freaks out about the fact that the old woman in the cell is Ripley in disguise, and then:
Pike: Wait, who's Ripley?!
Episode 33: Reunions
- Before the game starts, Travis has fun with the stream layout by pretending to high-five Sam below him. He does it a bit too hard the second time, and Sam reacts appropriately.
- Also before the game starts, Zac interrupts to tell the viewers about the giveaway happening if they get to 11,500 subscribers. Matt asks him what's in the giveaway and he replies "tons of shit." The others run like crazy with this.
Matt: You will get tons of shit. (beat, then Matt starts laughing)Taliesin: (grinning) www.tonsofshit.comMatt: Exactly!Taliesin: (to the audience) Don't try to look that up, it will just make you unhappy.
- Taliesin revealing that the second cantrip Percy gained via Magic Initiate is — of all things — Friends.
- Percy's grievance with Ripley is one hundred percent legitimate and understandable, but that doesn't stop their sniping at each other every single moment from being darkly hilarious.
Percy: Anna. I'm going to take a leap of faith. And I'm going to assume, contrary to all evidence, that you're a smart woman.
- Meta example — Will Friedle found out about Vax admitting his love for Keyleth and kissing her almost immediately.
- A moment of heartwarming from the last episode gets turned on its head when Percy reunites with Cassandra.
Keyleth: Percy, you have a sister.Percy: (facepalms) Oh god, yes I do.
- Scanlan's amazing Shout-Out Pun after Ripley escapes:
Scanlan: That Ripley is very talented.
- For the second time in 4 episodes, Scanlan has a How Do You Want To Do This moment via Vicious Mockery. Matt's Corpsing and tone while he says his Catch-Phrase just screams You Have Got to Be Kidding Me!.
Percy: Which one of my ancestors did you just shame to death? Again?!
- Scanlan recounts the story of him pushing a Goliath off a roof, and Cassandra seems rather impressed.
Cassandra: It's a shame you're not as tall as your tales, small one.Scanlan: Don't worry, don't worry -Percy: No. (facepalms)
- Seeming is the gift that keeps on giving. Scanlan uses it this time to make all the men of Vox Machina (including Trinket) look like Percy while all the girls look like Cassandra.
Taliesin: Is there anybody who is not made uncomfortable by this?Marisha: This was supposed to be a passing comment and it's turned into a thing. (starts laughing)
- First of all, the group realizes that Seeming doesn't change body shape, which means that Grog looks like a 7-foot-tall hulked-out version of Percy.
Marisha: Percy's been hittin' the 'roids.
- Vex, of course, asks what Trinket looks like:
Scanlan: Trinket's a bear...a bear with two streaks of white hair!Vex: And he's wearing the little circle glasses, too!
- Keyleth tries to have a brief Ship Tease moment with Vax before they go to battle, only for Vex/Laura to immediately kill the mood by pointing out 1) she doesn't know which Percy is Vax (Scanlan tries to take advantage of this) 2) it's really creepy due to the two of them looking like brother and sister.
Keyleth: Vax, be careful.Percy: Of course, Keyleth.(both crack up)
- Then when she actually says it...
Scanlan: (Vax impression) Sister, do you mind giving me that gun again?Keyleth: (still cracking up) Shut up, Scanlan!Vex: No, you can't have it.Scanlan: (Vax impression) Why, because I'm three feet tall?Vex: Because I want it.Liam: (Grog impression) Uh, is this the body switchin' episode?
- Then Scanlan takes advantage of his "Vax impersonation" by trying to get Vex to give him back Ripley's gun. He fails.
- Then the group gets into a fight in which several party members are possessed, meaning that the room is full of a whole bunch of Percys and Cassandras beating the crap out of each other.
Marisha: Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself!
- First of all, the group realizes that Seeming doesn't change body shape, which means that Grog looks like a 7-foot-tall hulked-out version of Percy.
- Related to the above, Sam Riegel's comment on that fight.
Sam: We are too strong. We could never fight ourselves.
- Taliesin's reactions to his seven natural twenties:
Taliesin: I'm the devil and I have come to do the devil's work.Matt: So all of you going to meet Taliesin at conventions in the future, make sure you get a nice long hold of his hands.Laura: Heal me, because I'm rolling like shit!Taliesin: I will lick your die, that is how I bless them.Travis: Have him lick both your dice.
Episode 34: Race to the Ziggurat
- Travis attempts to repeat his pretend high five with Ashley.
- Grog manages to "bargain" with Vax, trading a healing potion for giving Vax a smack to the nads.
- Scanlan's poem of inspiration to Pike:
Roses are redViolets are blueWe are both gnomes
- Somehow, Scanlan including Trinket in his Seeming manages to confuse Delilah enough that she doesn't attack anyone in the first round! She could see through the illusion, she was just totally befuddled why anyone would try to disguise a bear to look like Percy.
- Taliesin's reaction to Scanlan's latest inspiration song.
Sam/Scanlan: Percy's got a gun...Taliesin: Really?!
- Keyleth gets the HDYWTDT on Sylas Briarwood. And how does she want to do this?
Keyleth: I want him to eat a bag of holy dicks. (Silas is hit with "strangely phallic" sun beams)
Episode 35: Denouement
- Before and after the game portion of the stream, Sam refers to the patron saint of Critical Role as "Jesus Crit."
- Grog screaming when Delilah wakes up and slapping her unconscious again.
- Taliesin's reaction to fighting Orthax, the smoke demon in his head.
Taliesin: Matt, do you have a mini for the dark specter of my soul?(Matt pulls out a mini)Taliesin: I love you.
- Followed by:
- The prelude and aftermath of Scanlan throwing the Pepperbox into the acid, culminating in Cassandra slapping her brother while he's under Hold Person. He's so dismayed.
Percy: You were never Mother's favorite!
Matt: (to Percy) In your head, you're like, that fucking gnome.Percy/Taliesin: (wailing) That was so expensive!
- Sam rolls a natural 20 on Persuasion, defeating Percy's Insight. Matt describes Scanlan's innocent face in solemn tones, and then, just as solemnly...
Scanlan: May I make a suggestion?Percy: Is it going to be throwing the rest of my guns into a pit of acid?Scanlan: We'll be spending some of your kingdom's money -Percy: Replacing the gun you threw into a pit of acid.
- He's still smarting over an hour later.
- When the two remaining Briarwood nobles are brought before the party, Scanlan proposed they let them live as a gesture of good will. Then...
Jazna: Come closer... I've never tasted gnome!Scanlan: Okay, so maybe we'll kill her.
- Matt is his own Moment Killer during a rather touching scene. While he tries to keep his composure while everyone is Corpsing, he eventually gives in as well. Taliesin is the only one who keeps a straight face as he waits for the laughter to die down. And waits. And waits. And waits some more...
Taliesin: Two years on a sitcom. I can hold this all day.
- Another case of a touching scene becoming funny, Keyleth uses Commune with Nature to talk to the Sun Tree, and senses a spark of live has re-awoken within it.
Keyleth: I just say "Good morning, old friend!"Matt: You sense the tree saying: "The sun just set. It's not morning."Kayleth/Marisha: Oh SHIT.
- Just before the awkward Vaxleth moment, Grog tries to prevent it by pantsing Vax. He fails to grab him thanks to Vax's very high Acrobatics check.
- During the Vaxleth moment, all of the other players are hiding their faces. Even Ashley, who isn't even in the room. Taliesin wrapping his face and shoulders with his scarf so he looks like a turtle is a highlight.
- Marisha accidentally using the phrase "I'm going to throw up" without finishing her thought leads to her imitating a drunk college girl Keyleth and Scanlan promising to hold her hair back.
- As Percy begins talking to Orthax, Grog (who, like the rest of the party, can't see the creature) begins to answer Percy whenever he asks a question.
- After the conversation is over, Taliesin realises the party only heard his side of the conservation, so he must have looked like he was arguing with himself like a lunatic.
- More of Matt sensually whispering into players' ears. It's even suggested that he fly to New York just to whisper in Ashley's ear.
- Scanlan's Cutting Words succeeding: "You're right! He ain't no hollaback gnome!"
Episode 36: Winter's Crest in Whitestone
- Scanlan composing an epic poem of the events of the Whitestone arc.
Scanlan: I compose an epic poem to commemorate the Rebels rising up against the Empire that had kept them down for so long. Sort of a Force that had awakened. I call it... Resident Evil, I don't know why. Because there were residents and there was evil, I couldn't come up with another name for it. They're residents of the town, and there was an evil. I'm looking for a publisher.
- Also, Scanlan commissions a painting making himself look like the leader of the revolution. His lies are so convincing they actually end up inspiring the artist.
- Keyleth having a hilarious, yet also kind of sombering moment of PTSD.
- The concept that a spellcaster is totally awed by a street magician.
- Also, the magician "reading Percy's future".
- Matt making ridiculous dramatic flourishes with a magician's wand he got from somewhere.
- Classic battle music for the festival games! Doubles as a Crowning Moment of Awesome.
- During Scanlan's arm wrestling match, Vax thinks it's a good idea to yell that Pike's here to boost his morale. It ends up costing him — Scanlan's next roll is a 1.
- For that matter, their incredibly blatant cheating. Such as Grog convincing his arm-wrestling opponent he has "hand herpes".
- Trisha gravely telling Grog before they arm-wrestle that she's honored and grateful for everything Vox Machina have done - but she is still going to "destroy" him.
- When Taliesin is examining Craven Edge's stats, he realizes the brooch he gave to Vax is a lot more helpful to him than it seemed.
Taliesin: I may ask for that brooch back.Liam: You can certainly try.
- Craven Edge will not consent to Grog giving it the name Bacon. Nor does it have a female setting for its sinister whispers. The growing exasperation of the sword is what really sells it.
- Polymorphed Trinket antics! (Or maybe they're shenanigans.)
- Scanlan commissioning a portrait of himself and Pike on a horse big enough to cover half the wall of the dining room back at Greyskull Keep.
- After two very touching scenes of gift exchanges (Vax and Vex/Percy and Keyleth), the following line from Scanlan:
Scanlan: Grog. I got you an Amazon gift card. It's a forest called the Amazon, and you can go there and get a gift.
Episode 37: A Musician's Nostalgia
- Matt and Marisha found out over Christmas that his parents watch Critical Role and are Critters.
Matt: My parents are Critters. (Matt looks kind of embarrassed)
- Checking in on the Keep.
Sam: Can I shit-scry?Matt: (brightly) For those of you just tuning in, I'm going to give you no context.
- As Laura is given a perception whisper from Matt, the guys impersonate him.
Liam: "I'm making this up as I go! I don't know what I'm doing."
Taliesin: "Look surprised."
Sam: "I'm a fraud!"
Taliesin: "I've got a Reddit page open behind my DM screen."
- Although the camera doesn't catch it, Ashley apparently chose to, in Marisha's words, "massage Laura's rear" as she leaned up to receive the whisper.
- Percy suggests that Desmond (the carriage driver whose hand he crippled) learn a new trade, Vex cuts him off with "Probably not lute playing, I'm just throwing that out there," and then immediately looks horrified at herself while the rest of the table starts laughing.
- Matt notes that while everybody else in the throne room is looking at Vex in awkward horror, Seeker Asum is desperately trying to stifle laughter.
- Grog rolls a Natural 20 on Arcana.
- Surprisingly, Craven Edge has a sense of humor!
Grog: No, not on the blade...Craven Edge: No, keep the tears coming.
- Scanlan and Kaylie engaging in Snark-to-Snark Combat. Also, Pike serving as a wingman to "inspire" him. Becomes a lot more Hilarious in Hindsight.
Pike: The man, the myth, and the legend... is true. So, in case you wanted to... find out...Scanlan: We're close. We're tight, she and I. She's come back from work.Kaylie: A holy woman?Marisha: (laughing) Oh, shit.(Kaylie laughs uncontrollably)
- Matt prepares to play Jethro Tull for Scanlan's bard duel, but he manages to pick a Jethro Tull song that has no flute in it:
- During Vax's attempt to enter the thieves' guild...
Grog: [The Belt of Dwarvenkind] lets me read Dwarvish!
- Just trying to enter the guild by unlocking another door overall is hilarious. Poor Vax...
- Scanlan immediately regrets playing the ladies' man and letting Kaylie win their flautist duel when Dr. Dranzil reminds him he bet his entire purse (over 2,000 gold!) on the outcome.
- Poor, poor Jeffrey. The guy gets so scared he practically wets himself, but Matt playing a crying half-elf scared out of his mind (and the good cop/bad cop/oh god no cop routine of Scanlan, Grog and Craven Edge) sends it right back to being funny.
Episode 38: Echoes of the Past
- Laura stopping the game after only about five minutes into it, realizing that the stuffed Trinket is not anywhere near her.
- Just the sheer grins of prankster glee on everyone else's faces.
- Sam making a joke about the Cowboys, earning Travis' ire. It's suggested that instead of Vax, Grog will now be out to get Scanlan. Travis even mimes pummelling him.
- The party literally has Daxio begging for death, as they, Keyleth in particular, come up with some... creative interpretations of his answers.
- Vox Machina decides to get to know Emon better and go on a pub crawl. Scanlan Yelps it. Which is to say, he stands outside and makes high-pitched yelping noises for a moment or two. The entire group reacts with shame and despair - Taliesin says he feels better about every pun he's ever made, Travis believes he might be dumber for having heard it, and Matt says he might have to look into homebrewing anti-inspiration rules so he can properly punish them.
- Grog and Pike matching each other's shots, which is also adorable.
- Somewhat reminiscent of the time Travis got drunk doing twice as many shots as Monica Rial.
- Keyleth throwing up after four shots of "firewater." Gross and hilarious, unless you ship Percy/Keyleth, in which case it's both of those and a brilliant dirty gif opportunity.
- Scanlan and Kayley's scene together is rather sad because she's angry and upset that she never knew him and abandoned her and her mother, but Scanlan is just hilarious at the same time as he apologises.
- Equally hilarious is the rest of Vox Machina hardcore corpsing in the background as they one-by-one realize who Kaylie is. Appropriately, Travis/Grog seems to be the last to figure it out.
- Vex trying to locate a chest of gold that was delivered to Greyskull Keep - and then "borrowed" for "safe-keeping" by Scanlan's old troupe.
- Percy's moment of self-awareness when examining a possibly evil skull.
Taliesin/Percy: I am a little evil magnet.
- Matt trolling the party as only a DM can at every possible opportunity while they explore an abandoned house.
- Vex and gold.
Vex: [Grog and I are] pulling the gold out of the walls.Grog: No, I'm not.Vex: I'm pulling the gold out of the walls.
Episode 39: Omens
- Pre-show shenanigans between Sam Riegel and Travis Willingham. Sam wearing a Washington Redskins shirt, even though Travis is a known and pretty hardcore Dallas Cowboys fan.
- Taliesin's reaction when the second worm appeared.
Taliesin: This is becoming hentai.
- Keyleth casting the formidable, awesome sixth level spell Wind Walk... but not fully understanding how the spell works.
Keyleth: I'd be using a sixth-level spell to be a glorified messenger? "Hey, we found this scary skull?"Scanlan: Hey, you used it yesterday for no reason too.
- And then, the next day:
- Taliesin assessing the Worms and Wind Walk situation.
Taliesin: NATURAL TWENTY, MOTHERFUCKER! [...] Three, motherfucker.
- Finally gets Hoist by His Own Petard: he rolls a natural 20... and Matt reminds him he has to roll again with disadvantage.
- Scanlan uses Bigby's Hand to loot gold.
- Grog has many talents, but lying is definitely not among them.
- After a transparent excuse about needing the bathroom, Scanlan attempts to infiltrate a private council meeting but is foiled immediately by the castle's newly upgraded magical protections. Uriel is neither surprised nor impressed, and Matt plays it so perfectly he doesn't even blink.
Scanlan: That [bathroom] I tried to go into? That one's full and it needs a big cleaning.Uriel: Good to know, Scanlan.Scanlan: I thought there was another one this way...Uriel: There isn't, Scanlan.Scanlan: Not through there, or anything?[Uriel gives him an unblinking stare until he finally leaves.]
- Percy, Scanlan and Keyleth all going to the stockade to free Kaylee, who has been imprisoned for a drunken brawl. Highlights include:
Keyleth: (almost awed) That might be the most privileged thing you've ever said.Percy: (unabashed) It was the most privileged thing I've ever said that you've heard.
- Percival Frederickstein Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo the Third throwing his weight around and acting very much the pompous noble, including his explanation of political clout.
Scanlan: I could have picked anyone to be with me here!Percy: (smirking) You chose so poorly. It is truly impressive how poorly you chose.
- Percy claims the troupe is going to pay for the damages, and it's about at that point Scanlan realizes that Percy is tormenting him on purpose to get revenge for throwing his gun in the acid:
Warden: Would it make you feel better if [Percy]'s thrown in prison?Scanlan: It would.Percy: It would make me feel better if he were thrown in prison!Warden: Oh, don't worry, you'll both be going.Keyleth: (over the comm earrings) Hey guys, how's it goin' in there?Percy and Scanlan: (simultaneously) Great, great.
- Scanlan punches Percy in the face, and the warden of the jail breaks it up:
Percy: (to Scanlan) I blame you for this.
- And then as they're manacled together:
- The party ponders getting Jarrett to stand guard over the skull in Percy's workshop. Percy starts wondering if they should give Jarrett a rest, since they use him for everything - and Matt informs them that Jarrett is already standing there.
Scanlan: Don't you ever sleep?
Vex: We need to give him a raise!Jarrett: Yes, you do.
- The party then happily fanboys and/or fangirls over Jarrett's awesomeness:
- Grog attempts to break into Percy's workshop and is foiled, once again, by a door. (This door is admittedly designed to withstand anything up to and including an explosion, but it's still uncanny.) The next day he gets it into his head to trying getting some lockpicks from a merchant, but accidentally terrifies the poor man into fleeing.
- Scanlan, Gilmore and Grog all linking arms and skipping down the street together. Just...envision the height difference.
- While still a terrifying sign of how clearly outmatched the group is against the ancient dragons, the sheer Oh, Crap! reaction on Travis's face as he realizes just how hard it would be to damage one is pretty funny.
Travis: Sorry, little distracted that I just took a swing at death incarnate.
- Related: all of the players wearing expressions of utter horror except Sam, who's both alarmed and amused by the change in their fortunes. It's an amazing contrast.
Episode 40: Desperate Measures
- Pike using Grog as cover. "Classic Pike/Grog technique."
- As tense as the inter-party friction is, there are amusing moments scattered throughout.
- Pike Insight checks Grog, rolls well, and Matt describes his motives with hilariously painful accuracy as "a simple mind looking for a simple solution to a complex problem". Travis mimes slapping out flames from the burn.
- Percy stuck in Hold Person again and trying to voice protests when he can't even open his jaw when Keyleth reaches the end of her tether.
Percy: (defensive mumbling)Keyleth: Shut up, Percy!Percy: (subdued mumbling)
- The session draws to a close with multiple cities in ruins, a terrible threat looming over the continent, Vox Machina swearing to gather allies to fight it, and Keyleth still reeling from shock and grief. So what does Matt have to say immediately after declaring an end to the session?
Matt: (maniacally cheerful) Hey guys, D&D is fun!Liam: Hey, we're all cows! Be sure to buy a t-shirt over on Geek & Sundry.com!Taliesin: Brought to you by Wyrmwood Gaming! Specifically designed to absorb tears![...]Matt: I would say I'm sorry, but... I'm not.Taliesin: (to Travis) I would have kicked your ass, by the way.Travis: Uh huh.[...]Liam: (to Travis) I was going to carve my name into your nuts.
Episode 41: In Ruins
- Grog makes a Heh Heh, You Said "X" crack about the word "duty". Keyleth snaps that it's not the time... but Marisha says it was Actually Pretty Funny.
- Grog chiming in with Allura and Keyleth that he is also tapped out of teleportation magic. The look Laura gives Travis is priceless.
- Matt describes the party's restless dreams that night, which is more of a Tear Jerker... until he gets to Grog:
Matt: Scanlan, you're plagued by the thought of your newly discovered daughter being not far outside the city when all this went down.Percy, you have flashes of the idea of Whitestone, just recently saved, being torn apart by dragons not two weeks later.You [Keyleth] are plagued by visions of the moment that Thordak much have torn through [Pyrah]Both you [Vax and Vex], you can't help but think back to Byroden and seeing the smoldering ruin that you now know to be the work of the Cinder King fifteen years before, and wondering if that's the last thing your mother saw.Grog... you want that skull!
- Gilmore's reaction to Scanlan asking him if he's a dragon.
Gilmore: If you could make me one...that would be sexy.
- Vox Machina's discussion of sending someone to spy on Thordak, which somehow winds up at Scanlan becoming Thordak's gimp.
- Vex and Keyleth argue over what to Polymorph Trinket into, consider a raccoon (possibly wisecracking), but ultimately and enthusiastically agree on a red panda. When the spell's complete both of them squee over his cuteness. They're a little while about deciding, too, so Matt adds that Trinket rolls his eyes and has an expression reading "Kill me now".
- At the beginning of the ambush there's one poor bastard on the wrong end of Vex's arrows and Percy's gun. It's overkill at its finest - he was not only comically low-level compared to them, he was Hunter's Marked and Hexed.
Vex'ahlia: Fuck that guy in particular.
- Gilmore's Casual Danger Dialogue as he's just recovered from near-death and trying to keep everyone's spirits up.
- Explaining why the Clasp might be some of their most useful allies, Percy/Taliesin starts tripping over his words, so he simplifies his explanation and claims it's for Grog's benefit.
Episode 42: Dangerous Dealings
- Beginning of Game Shenanigans.
- Taliesin's horrible jokes and the return of anti-inspiration.
- Liam once again brings up the "this isn't a JRPG" point when Percy makes a plan involving getting a Global Airship.
- When trying to figure out how to transport the refugees to Whitestone, Sam gives us this gem. The look on Liam's face sells it.
Scanlan: That's how Schindler did it.Liam: No words! No words!
- When talking to the refugees before transporting them.
Vex'ahlia: I like that we're sending them to the place with the Orb of Death.Refugee: Wha- What was that?Vex'ahlia: Oh, I just said you might be able to see your breath!
- Vax telling the refugees that there definitely aren't any vampires in Whitestone.
- When Keyleth opens the tree portal and everyone frantically trying to explain to the refugees how to get through, Percy accidentally makes an anachronistic reference and manages to quickly justify it.
Keyleth: As soon as you see the tree part, run!Percy: And keep running, so that you make room for everyone behind you. We don't want like, it's not the bottom of an escalator... whatever that is. It's a thing I've been working on, it's going to be great.
- Vex'ahlia's limerick to Scanlan:
Have you heard tell of Scanlan the bard?Or Burt Reynolds, if you look at his cardAlways tries to get laid,Sometimes with ladies he made,But I still respect him, 'cause rhyming is hard.
- During the fight with wyverns and their riders, Keyleth turns one into a chicken, causing it to slam on the ground. The resulting 10 points of damage are more than enough to kill the chicken, meaning the wyvern is restored to its original form, almost unharmed. At least she deals 14 points of damage to the two riders, but still that's not how she hoped it'd have turned out.
- Scanlan takes a huge damage, assuming to fall below 0, then Laura reminds him that he still has 3 hit points left. Sam Riegel's reaction turns the situation from tense to hilarious.
- Everyone's reactions to Vax and Keyleth having a moment during their last night in Greyskull Keep. Laura in particular assumes the obvious and even mouths her assumption to Travis.
Laura: (mouthing to Travis) They're gonna fuck.
Taliesin: That wasn't the kind of ship I was hoping to get. I don't think we can all fit on that ship.
- And then there's Taliesin's reaction after the Time Skip and everyone starts cracking up:
- Better yet, Scanlan tries the same line on Vex, and she just shoves him to the ground.
- Percy making certain to qualify that going to steal an airship is a caper, not an afterthought.
- Even with his player not around, Thorbir continues to have awful luck, losing to Aldor in a card game.
- Travis's utter shock at Sam getting the names from Top Gun wrong, and subsequently correcting him. Sam tries to argue that he was right. Travis is very confident.
Travis: You don't wanna do this with me.
- When Scanlan's asked if he's willing to be a spy in Emon with Thordak, hilarity ensues.
Scanlan: I've thought about it long and hard.Keyleth: You have? What are your thoughts?Scanlan: Everything I do is long and hard.(Matt facepalms as everyone laughs)Scanlan: My thoughts are still: fuck you, no way, fuck off.Grog: So what you're saying is...?Scanlan: Maybe.
- Before they abandon Greyskull Keep, Scanlan shits on his bed as he says his goodbyes to his room.
Episode 43: Return to Vasselheim
- The return of Kashaw and Zahra sees both of their players in top comedy form.
Kashaw: I'm cold and I still haven't been paid.
- Aldor's utter horror whenever the party mentions Lyra, which they naturally troll him with constantly.
- Vax asking if he does gangster signs will it give Vex Advantage on a Persuasion roll, Matt replies that it'd actually give Disadvantage.
- When Kashaw and Zahra talk about how hot they think Keyleth is, Marisha slides all the way down in her seat, covering her face with her notebook.
- Kashaw's reactions to mentions of the party's previous antics like when Vax got flicked in the groin by Grog.
- Vex starts asking Vax about Keyleth and he mentions that he thinks she's attractive:
Vex: Yes, yes yes, Keyleth is SO. FUCKING. BEAUTIFUL. I get it.Vax: Well, so are you but what the fuck am I gonna do with that? Jeez, you're fuckin' weird!
- The incredibly successful haggling with the potion merchant who scammed Grog way, way back in Episode 22. It starts with Grog appointing Vex his Manager of Shiny and escalates.
Vex: Oh, what a shame. I've already Hunter's Marked you.Merchant: (horrified) I don't even know what that means!
Scanlan: Those are the Knick Knacks of Kah!Percy: No, not the Knick Knacks of Kah!
- Special mention goes to the Knick Knacks of Kah.
- Matt's snarking at the party complaining about how expensive healing potions are.
Matt: Oh my god I just buy healing to save my life it's such a waste! Oh my god there's a whole trade of talented magical practitioners who spend their time crafting and brewing up these potions in hopes they'll save your life in the future!
- The return of the black powder merchant, including the moment when Victor tries to open a metal can of black powder with a blowtorch. It's actually coffee.
Percy: Hello, Victor, do you remember me?Victor: ...No!
Liam: I'm going to stand over here and fail to stay in-character.
- Matt manages to break Liam even before the blowtorch moment.
- Kern and Grog have a conversation in an alleyway, and everybody else points out that it plays like an awkward conversation with an ex.
- The entire segment at the bar, just before the break, where everyone is drunk. Percy sums it up best:
Percy: The dragons don't stand a chance.
Percy: My god, I love other people's problems.
- He has another pithy summary of the whole disastrous Keyleth-Vax-Kashaw love triangle:
- Sam/Scanlan singing a song of inspiration, as per usual. But this time singing a parody of the Washington Redskins Fight Song. What really sells it is that Grog/Travis was really into the song, before the revelation.
- To clarify for those who don't know, Travis is a hardcore Dallas Cowboys fan. The realization of what Sam was singing almost makes him refuse the inspiration die; he only uses it out of necessity and even then uses a different one to his initial pick, purely on principle.
- Getting thrown by Vax'ildan, during the Earthbreaker Groon fight, Scanlan looks up to see whether or not Kashaw is making moves on Keyleth. He is, but Keyleth is too busy freaking out over the fight to notice.
- After the fight, Keyleth runs over to Vax, hugs him, and kisses him on the mouth. Vax, who is still slightly drunk/hungover and has just been punched in the abdomen several times, throws up. Fortunately, Keyleth makes her dodge saving throw.
Special Episode: Battle Royale I
- Mittens, the cat of divine destruction. Sending goliaths, tieflings, and air ashari to a graveyard near you.
- Matt's disappointment that his freaky pit of skeleton hands sees absolutely no action during the fight. Despite the fact that the pit is quite sizeable and in the center of the battlefield.
- Keyleth rising about seventy feet into the air as a flying eagle, only to fall back to the earth like a sack of dirty laundry when Zahra very calmly and professionally hits Keyleth with a spell bolt, about three seconds later.
- The lengths that Zahra and Kashaw go to take Grog out of the fight, from attempting to blind him, bind him, freeze him, dazzle him, and simply banish him, only for them all to fail spectacularly.
Episode 44: The Sunken Tomb
- Grog, Scanlan, Vax'ildan, and the moon hammer shenanigans!
- Percy slips up on his epic Bond One-Liner tendencies..
Percy: (after killing a kua-toa) I don't speak fish.Percy: ...That was the worst kill line ever.
- Kashaw and Scanlan's night conversation, where he's Mistaken for Gay by Scanlan and he sarcastically plays along.
Matt: The hours pass, and through intense conversation you get to know each other...Kashaw: For the love of god, can something please attack us?
- The reactions to the Beholder makes for some pretty good Schadenfreude.
Travis: Happy Anniversary, you dicks!
- Keyleth and Kashaw's extremely awkward talk at the end of the episode veers between hilarious and heartwarming.
- When Scanlan attempts to disarm a swinging blade trap by reaching his bare hand into the mechanism, Percy offers this lovely bit of encouragement:
- Matt makes the mistake of using the phrase "pucker point" in one of his descriptions of Marrowglade Loch, leading to a solid minute of Loch Anus jokes.
Mary: Aye, Loch Anus— it's very muddy.(Collective Groan from the rest of the table)Mary: Nae, it's true, I stuck me nose in it!(louder Collective Groan)
- Similarly, he names an NPC "Purvan", which almost certainly sounded better in his head. He has to threaten them with adding HP to all their hostile encounters before they even begin to let up.
- Vex finally meets her match in the book seller Benjamin Cole, and ends up paying full price for something for the first time ever. Meanwhile, the other members of the party are shouting helpful suggestions as she haggles.
Scanlan: Just kill him!Kashaw: Ask him how his family is.Zahra: Use your Hunter's Mark on him.
- The twins getting stuck in the sinkhole. It's not the situation as much as the sheer indifference the rest of the party shows as they slowly sink into the mud that really sells it.
- Laura has a bit of confusion over her perception roll.
Laura: That is a thirty-one... no, forty-one... no...Liam: No, seventy-one!Matt: You see through reality.
- Kima has taken to drinking whenever a member of Vox Machina does something particularly stupid.
- In the real world, while it didn't last long, twitter began inventing Lady Kima Facts in the style of Chuck Norris Facts.
Episode 45: Those Who Walk Away...
- Kashaw being played by Matt in such a deadpan manner.
- Grog's "expert" analysis surrounding Vex'ahlia's death.
- Grog and Scanlan shenanigans. Scanlan goes to retrieve the painting he commissioned back during the Whitestone arc, and Grog tries to have a chat with Craven Edge while on the toilet, leading to this line
Craven Edge: My hunger grows, but the air tarnishes my blade...
- The funnier part is this comes right after an extremely intense emotional conversation between Vex and Keyleth, which ends with Keyleth bursting it tears. Cut to Scanlan and Grog trying to find some way to pass the time. And as Scanlan cries on seeing the painting, Marisha points out that this means he and Keyleth are crying at the same time... for very different reasons. Her and Sam turn this into a parody of a Distant Duet.
- Keyleth's Adorkable attempt to command Galdric.
Keyleth: Do you think he'd respect me?Vex: No, he'll probably attack you.Grog: He'll mount you.Vex: Or he'll bone you.
- She asks what might happen if she tried turning into a wolf...
- Vex's "Pokeball" for Trinket.
Vex: By the power vested in me... I now pronounce you... my Pokemon.
- So, Percy, what do you call that siege arrow you stayed up all night making to apologize for killing Vex in the previous episode?
Percy: This? This is an evening of unbridled guilt.
- Grog hopes to find a brothel while the party is in Whitestone. Percy misunderstands the request.
Grog: I want to get my freak on.Percy: ...I don't feel that way about you, Grog.
- Percy's line, "Your secret is safe with my indifference."
- Vax guilt tripping Percy into paying Vex more money from his family treasury, even though Vax isn't present in the scene:
Vax: I'd like to think you hear me in your mind.Percy: I always hear your fucking voice in my mind! It's very quiet in there these days.
- This moment after an extraordinarily tense exchange between Percy and Vax:
Vax: Goodnight, Percival.Percy: Goodnight, Vax.Scanlan/Sam: It's four in the afternoon!
- Vax tries to talk to Scanlan:
Vax: We don't talk a lot.Scanlan: Well, we start to, then you leave the room usually.Vax: Yeah. I don't handle confrontation, personal, emotional confrontation very well.Scanlan: It's okay. (I walk away.)
Episode 46: Cindergrove Revisited
- Chris Hardwick clearly had a lot of fun with his character Gern — an oddball blue Dragonborn necromancer who yells like crazy and is a candle maker. He calls the exploding magical candles he makes "Tragedy Candles".
- Gern has a small group of animated corpses that he treats like pets. At one point, for no real reason, he has them dance as a distraction - and it works. They continue to dance throughout the episode while everything else goes on.
- When Vax rolls three attacks to damage the djinni, his first attack is a total of 34. Matt is doubtful.
Matt: How'd you get 34 on your attack?Liam: ...I don't know any more.
- Liam realises he made a mistake calculating the damage and Matt mimes a really bad nosebleed from trying to figure it out.
- Laura and a confusing partially-faded dice.
Laura: What is that number? It's completely smooshed off of the dice!
- Vex has only recently multiclassed into Rogue, so has trouble figuring out if one of her new abilities. Liam chimes in:
Liam: I'm sorry, it's a rookie Rogue mistake, it happens at the beginning. At the higher levels, you mess up the Assassinate thing constantly.
- Percy and Gern seem to have a little rivalry going. It's one of the few times Percy's been out-snarked:
Gern: What's the name of your group?Scanlan: Vox Machina!Gern: No offense, but that sounds like a shite band.Percy: It's better than "Tragedy Candle," really. I mean that's kind of a shite band -Gern: They opened for Vox Machina!
- Scanlan and Gern banter with one another all episode, and successfully ruin a How Do You Want To Do This.
- Grog, believing he's a spellcaster, trying to use Animate Dead on a Salamander corpse he and Vax just killed. He does an Arcana check, decides it's taking too long and gives up.
- Scanlan finishes off the fire djinni with a Lightning Bolt from his crotch, marking its chest with an S.
- Vax advises an enemy that 'You don't want to fuck with [Grog's] beard!' Chris quips 'She has a name...' and the group cracks up as Liam meekly apologizes to Laura.
- "SQUEEZE THE CANDLE, FATTY ARBUCKLE!"
- As Keyleth's father turns from a serious conversation with her to have another serious word with Vax, Don't You (Forget About Me) starts playing, completely ruining the moment.
- Near the end of the episode, Gern, apropos of very little if not nothing, tells his entire life story in a single run-on sentence, implying that Chris had prepared a backstory and wanted it to make it into the episode somehow.
- Chris keeps calling the enemies "fuckers" to the point where Taliesin slips and does the same, immediately kicking himself for doing so.
Episode 47: The Family Business
- Scanlan: "It's a sick... HOUSE." Summoning Mordenkainen's Magnificent Mansion even gets a song.
- All of the jokes that the party makes about Scanlan's dalliance.
- Grog attacking Ethereal servants, thinking that they're ghosts.
- Vax'ildan questioning Scanlan on whether or not he was holding out on the rest of Vox Machina.
- Grog says Scanlan should change his alias from Burt Reynolds to Hugh Hefner.
- Scanlan's Stephen Colbert inspired painting (a painting that depicts himself posing in front of another, identical painting of himself).
- Scanlan's Trinket-hate continues, with him saying that he forgot to build a room for Trinket.
- Grog asking the Spectral servants for a cow... and then he punches the cow to see if it bleeds.
- Scanlan later mentions the cow has a broken nose.
- Vex'ahlia down in the training room trying to figure out how the broom flies.
Grog: You didn't clean very much.
- Laura saying "Fatty Arbuckle" in a faux brogue accent.
- She then goes to Scanlan's room to have him help her figure out how the broom flies. What sells it is that he's laying in bed, black satin sheets, and there are five spectral musicians playing some sensual bossanova music.
- She starts singing "Defying Gravity."
- Percy and Keyleth sitting in a lounge reading.
Percy: We never talk anymore.Keyleth: We really don't.(long pause)
- Travis's reaction to the party learning who's helping the dragons rule Westruun, and Taliesin's glee over someone else's past coming back to haunt them.
Episode 48: Into the Frostweald
- Liam and Taliesin having a brief moment together singing a tune from "Secret Garden: The Musical."
Liam: Can we have the break so Taliesin and I can go make out in the other room?
- Vex'ahila showing off on the flying broom for the refugees of Westruun, and falling off, but sloppily playing it off as a feat of acrobatics.
- Keyleth wanting a high-five from a guard, but is left hanging.
- Percy asking Vex'ahlia if she actually has a concussion, after a long rest after her mishap on the broom.
- Scanlan's "Uncle Vesuvius" which Taliesin jokes is also named "Uncle Touchy."
- Pike once again burning Scanlan by asking if there was a lock on the gnome sized door that connects her room to Scanlan's.
- Percy worried about the implications of an "all-purpose" room.
Scanlan: Don't look in that room with a black light.
- Scanlan getting shot in the neck from Vex'ahlia's misplaced shot. Vex'ahlia deals 17 points of damage to him, and manages to hit the chicken as well.
Pike: That was amazing!Keyleth: This is the best brunch we've ever done.
- As if that moment wasn't sold enough from Sam/Scanlan, Grog is just giving applause, and Pike (of all people) just thought it was amazing!
- Also, Percy/Taliesin keeps making chicken noises the whole time to much comedic effect.
- Scanlan's inspiration dice song for Pike this session is an...interesting version of Hotline Bling.
- "Blindsight" starring Ashley Johnson.
- Vox Machina finds Tyriok the mapmaker petrified and his arm broken off. Once Pike unpetrifies him, Black Comedy reigns when they realize they should have reattached the arm before healing him and he immediately begins screaming and bleeding huge gouts of blood. Some of it gets on Pike as she tries to heal the stump. Once that's resolved, Tyriok's surprisingly upbeat and glad about being alive, even after finding his guides both turned to stone and shattered and his work similarly in pieces. Scanlan, as usual, has words of encouragement.
Scanlan: Who has two thumbs and is glad to be alive? You and me as we both do this! (Scanlan does a thumbs up)
Episode 49: A Name Is Earned
- Sam proving Matt wrong, by arriving when he normally does immediately after Matt said he'd be arriving later than usual.
- Made even more humorous when Travis offers (threatens?) to play as Scanlan until Sam shows up.
- Tyriok saying his brain is his best weapon. Grog is not impressed.
- Vax lends Tyriok his Keen Dagger in case they get into a fight, but Vex, not wanting to part with such a rare item, convinces him it'll suck his life out. (Vax doesn't roll high enough to beat her Deception Check, despite knowing that's not how the Keen Dagger works) She gives him a less-valuable Pearl Dagger instead... but Grog is nearby and decides to get in on the fun.
Grog: You know what that one does? It makes you infertile.
- Keyleth summons two dryads, which both fall immediately into a pit of spikes.
Liam: Should've gone with the Will-o'-the-Wisps!
Matt: Fuck that spell!
- Also the conversation preceding the spell, as Matt learned that according to the description of the spell, the DM should have a list of creatures that could be conjured.
Matt: I will fight you.
- Later Laura teases him by asking for a list of creatures she can summon.
- Keyleth goes Earth Elemental and throws one of the Orcs into the spike pit. The others joke that maybe the other Dryad can help finish him off now, or it could be squashed further into the spikes by it. Matt decides that just as the Dryad had almost climbed out of the pit, the Orc falls on it and pushes them both back in.
- Percy tries to stage an awesome moment by stabbing an orc climbing out of the spike pit with a javelin. He misses, so he tosses the javelin away and shoots the orc point-blank in the face.
- Scanlan casting Otiluke's Sphere, and rolling in hamster-style singing the "Trolololol" song.
- Scanlan in crow form annoying Vex'ahlia, just because he can.
Taliesin: I've been paid good money for that.
- Accompanied by Taliesin's excellent crow impression.
- Followed by Sam's impressive mime of an owl once his first Polymorph spell was broken.
- Travis' face when Craven Edge tells Grog that he's "almost full."
- Percy goes up against Vox Machina's most feared enemy, and wins.
Grog: What do you see, Percy?
- In an effort to call out the androsphinx's name, Keyleth guesses "Isilra" (sp?), only to admit that it might actually be the name of a continent (which Matt confirms).
- In what seems like a Crowning Moment of Awesome during the episode's climactic battle, Grog heroically jumps into a dangerous portal to find the last few letters of the Androsphinx's name. Then Laura points out that Grog doesn't actually know how to read.
Special Episode: Critical Role Pathfinder Oneshot
- The entire premise of Matt Mercer running a Pathfinder Oneshot with Critical Role regulars Marisha (Snizzler, alchemist) and Taliesin (Mezek, monk) along with guest players Phil Lamarr (Browntooth, rogue), Ivan Van Norman (Grizznak, sorcerer), and Ashly Burch (Piglet, barbarian) playing Chaotic Stupid goblins. Matt could barely hold it together as the party got into their roles.
- All of the players have special Goblin Songs they've composed for themselves that allow them to reroll, provided they sing the song on the stream. All of them get to sing their songs, which are amazing. With the exception of Taliesin, none of their rolls improve, which is hilarious. Ashly's is to the tune of "Kiss From A Rose". Marisha's is about how much she loves blowing things up and ends with her greeting Homeland Security.
- Grizznak and Snizzler both blow their Survival checks and lead the party, respectively, into a bramble thicket and deeper into the bramble thicket towards a tree that promptly gets struck by lightning. It's Mezek who leads them out despite (because of?) his perpetual state of drunkenness.
- Taliesin decides to play in the mud. Ivan decides to start kicking mud in his face. The soundtrack picks a beautiful moment.
Grizznak: What you gonna do about it, Mezek? What you gonna do about it?Mezek: Wait 'til you're asleep. (ominous crack of thunder)
- At Snizzler's suggestion, they collectively pass a Stealth check by pretending to be garden gnomes. The guards passing by, unaware that they're goblins, make fun of them and call them "stupid gnomes," which the party takes pretty personally.
Everyone: (grumpy muttering)Mezek: Two arms, two legs, one head. We'll find him again.Everyone: (enthusiasm)
- The goblins, using a tree branch, try to build a boat. They end up with something rather more like (as Matt describes it) a pool noodle.
- Snizzler manages to roll a negative one on a swim check, which turns into Snizzler trying to get away from the water by stepping on everyone else's heads.
- And once Snizzler gets across the river, he throws up, and Mezek and Grizznak Ro-sham-bo for the vomit. Mezek wins, and later uses the vomit as a makeshift oil slick.
- Sneaking into the grate produces this wonderful exchange, which puts Taliesin into hysterics:
Browntooth: Sometimes it pays to be quiet.Piglet: I think we've all learned a valuable lesson here today.Browntooth: Now who wants to smash the grate?Piglet: (screaming) ME!
- The goblins spot a shiny thing and promptly fight over it. Piglet wins what turns out to be a human ribcage.
Matt: You smell it. Marrow hasn't been tapped yet.Piglet: Can I eat it?Matt: You can.Piglet: I eat it.
- Mezek makes an attack.
Mezek: I have Stunning Fist.Browntooth: And lovely eyes.Mezek: One of them's mine!
- Piglet, while raging, takes a bite out of a Gelatinous Cube, and assures Snizzler that it's delicious as the acid is dissolving her face.
- Taliesin wants to invent a cocktail based on the Gelatinous Cube called the "Numb Yum."
- Snizzler stuffs a lit, fiery bomb into the Cube right next to Grizznak, who's been absorbed and paralysed by the Cube, and gives him a cheery thumbs-up before it explodes. Ivan mentions that he's screaming internally.
- Browntooth is good at stealth.
Matt: I need you all to roll stealth checks.Phil: 40.Matt: You vanish from time and space!
- Snizzler shrinks himself so that the other can throw him to the other side of a gap, but before they do that, they make fun of him for being tiny and Grizznak starts playing with him like a doll. Marisha's sounds of goblin-y outrage are fantastic.
Matt: You immediately regret this decision.
- Taliesin bequeathing his "Golden Snitch" die to Ashly, due to her rolling a natural 20.
Taliesin: Golden Snitch man, don't fuck with the Golden Snitch.
Taliesin: I was about to say, "that Golden Snitch never rolls well, though..." (everyone breaks into laughter)
- Almost seconds afterwards, Marisha (who is at times the anti-Taliesin when it comes to rolls) needed to roll an acrobatic roll to save herself, with everyone hoping her Snitch would work the same way. It didn't.
- Marisha continues to make mediocre rolls to save herself, causing the party to laugh even more at her bad luck.
- Piglet screaming "I WANNA RAGE!" in a squeaky voice. Grog would be proud.
- The five-goblin Totem Pole Trench, which is surprisingly successful... for a while.
- Mezek steals a pouch from a drunk man. It turns out to contain 8 gold pieces and a snuffbox.
Mezek: Ooh! I eat all the snuff.
- Grizznak literally sneezing himself into unconsciousness.
- The final battle, which veers straight into Black Comedy as Mezek and Piglet decapitate no less than three of the enemy PCs with blunt instruments.
- Snizzler's last act before they leave the city is to throw a bomb at the church and burn it to the ground. Taliesin is so proud.
- At the very end, Matt reveals that the goblins faced off against and viciously slaughtered the main protagonists of the Pathfinder comics, Paizo's Iconic PCs, in their canonical first adventure. Marisha is delighted by the idea that somewhere in spacetime is a group of players demoralised because they got a party-wipe at level 2.
Episode 50: Best Laid Plans...
- "I will grant you cock lightning."
- Grog talking to the Firebrand Warhammer, as if expecting to hear another voice.
Grog: (after several seconds) The silent type. I like it.
- Scanlan giving Pike a note, which he insists that she doesn't read until he's dead. As soon as Scanlan leaves, Pike reads the note.
- Scanlan's Zombie Grog impression.
- Matt makes an offhand mention of a character chopping wood at the refugee camp. Laura, after constantly being frustrated by the lack of trees around the camp, asks where he got the wood from. Then Liam knocks a glass off the table and everyone decides it was because Laura tried to bug the DM about continuity.
Matt: (with a dramatic hand gesture) And that's what happens!
- "[Matt's] taking a picture. Why is he taking a picture!?" "Because he is a terrible person, that's why he's taking a picture."
- Travis's reaction to reading Craven Edge's full stat list. It consists primarily of cursing Matt's name.
Travis: Oh, FUCK you!
- Grog (who can't spell) explaining to Scanlan how to spell Zanror:
Grog: It's spelled, um, like this (makes a 'z' shape)... and then like it sounds.
- Marisha and Taliesin's crow impressions; Taliesin's are amazing and Marisha tries to match it until Matt has to tell them to stop because everyone's trying not to laugh.
- Reuniting with Dr. Dranzel and Kaylie.
Laura: Wait, why am I happy to see them? They stole from us!
- The subject of Grog's father comes up for the first time since the very early pre-stream days of the campaign. Sam asks what his name was, and Travis doesn't answer, leaving Matt to reveal it: Stonejaw Strongjaw. Travis's face makes it clear that this particular piece of his character's backstory is an Old Shame.
Episode 51: Test of Pride
- Scanlan and Kaylee awkwardly working together to get Vox Machina's plan back on track. The scene is already funny in itself, but then you realize that it comes off a lot like a voiceover session with Matt being directed by Sam!
- When Dr. Dranzel rolled a Natural 20 on a check to open a grate so the refugees could escape through the sewers.
Matt!Dranzel: And don't you forget it!
- This exchange...
Grog: Vax, what's the best advice for fighting someone like me?Vax: Um...d-don't?
- Taliesin's comment about an NPC who rolled a natural 20 against Grog's natural 1 for intimidation, and was then summarily executed by the twins.
Taliesin: He died as he lived: deeply unimpressed.
- Taliesin's own reactions show that he is very impressed throughout the night.
- Grog trashtalking his foes.
- Black Comedy and Hilarity Ensues when Vex and Percy inflict a Curb-Stomp Battle on two eagles who attack them on the rooftops. Vex attacks one of them (with disadvantage) and Percy hits the other with two shots from Bad News (the second shot with disadvantage). Both eagles take enough damage to revert back to their original forms, fall over 100 feet and go splat.
- Vex has her own, uh... unique way of inspiring Grog for his fight against Kevdak.
Grog: (gaping) ...I can't lose.
Episode 52: The Kill Box
- More Wyrmwood pimping from Liam:
Liam: We've come a long way to get here tonight, it's true we may die, and when our bones are turned to dust, carry them away in Wyrmwood gaming boxes - the finest wooden boxes for carrying the remains of the dead ever. Oh and you can put dice in them too!
- On Liam's Periscope account, he posted a video before the stream revealing that he and Travis were with Wil Wheaton (who had been with them for Tabletop Day), and plotted to get Wil into the room and touch Kevdak's figure, hoping that the "Wheaton Curse" would rub off on Kevdak. Given the events of the game, it worked.
- In the same video, Wil begged nobody to die, explaining that every time somebody dies on the show, Critters blame him.
- Near the beginning of the show, the gang began jokingly screaming Wheaton's name due to a number of bad rolls at the time.
- Sam attempts to inspire the entire party...by unbuttoning his shirt to reveal a custom-made t-shirt with himself in his "screaming lightning crotch" pose from the new opening super-imposed on the front. Everyone completely lost it. Taliesin was almost in tears.
- And then it's revealed that said shirt also has part of Pike's face on the right arm.
- Scanlan mooning Kevdak as part of his Cutting Words ability. It only took one damage from his attack on Grog, but it had everyone in stitches. Matt seems unable to stop describing the sight of Scanlan's buttocks.
- An enemy archer takes two shots at Percy. One hits him, but the other he grabs in one hand and snaps. He then proceeds to aim his gun at the archer. Matt acts out the archer looking very concerned and nervously reaching for a third arrow...
Liam: That archer uses his Bonus Action to piss himself.
- When Kevdak's arm gets chopped off, Liam quips that he got "Tyriok'd. Marisha expresses sympathy for poor Tyriok but still finds this Actually Pretty Funny.
- Grog is attacked by six enemies in a single turn, prompting this gem from Liam:
(brightly) Welcome to our production of Julius Caesar!
- When the battle is going south and it looks like characters might actually die, Sam completely breaks the tension with a well-timed plug for their new sponsors.
- After the session is over, it turns out the crew filmed themselves taking the faulty motherboard that delayed Episode 51 by roughly an hour and destroying it utterly. In slow motion. A prop warhammer is involved.
Episode 53: At Dawn, We Plan!
- Vox Machina arrives at Pike's grandfather's house, only to find the door locked. Just as Vax is about to pick the lock, Matt reminds Pike that, naturally, she has the key to the house. Everyone cracks up, and suggests Vax should go for the lockpick anyway since "he needs this". Even after unlocking the door, they find it's been barricaded with furniture. Just as Keyleth and Percy go to break down the door, Matt reminds them that there's a non-barricaded, unlocked window right next to it. They go for the door anyway. In short, the saga of Vox Machina and doors continues.
- Vox Machina meeting Pike's grandfather. Matt plays the part of the screwy old man very convincingly.
Percy: That... took some doing, well done.
- When greeting Percy (a human), Wilhand (a gnome) pats him on the shoulder.
- Travis has some concerns after learning that Wilhand spent the past week hiding under the floorboards with a couple casks of moonshine.
Travis: Is Wilhand drunk right now?Matt: He looks like he's... coping... with the last week's events.
- At dawn, we plan!
- Vax and Vex's superb use of tacky throw-pillows to detect and trigger the vicious death traps scattered about Master Quall's house.
- The twins being so salty to each other it became hilarious.
- Scanlan's Wacky Marriage Proposal and Pike's later initial response.
- After supposedly being glossed over last episode, Zanror reveals that the whole herd has been freaked out by Grog's beard.
- Mercer had lots of fun this episode in a way that only a DM can: by constantly psyching the players out with fake saving throws. He does it no less than three times throughout the session.
- As Vox Machina enters Master Quall's house, Percy becomes absolutely enamored by the various death traps he has protecting the place.
Percy: (as the staircase bursts into flames) I want to live here.
- Vox Machina find themselves a stone golem in Master Quall's basement. Finding the mechanism that controls it, they promptly decide to steal the golem and name it Fassbender. They then spend a good chunk of the episode figuring out what it can do; from giving the finger to Vax, punching Grog in the face, and casting Slow on Percy.
Matt: (to Keyleth) Ok, so you want to do some exercises with Fassbender?Laura: Who doesn't!
- When they first activate the golem and command it to walk forward, they forget the twins had tied rope around its legs earlier. The golem proceeds to immediately fall flat on its face.
- The fact that they called it Fassbender leads to this exchange:
- Percy's hilariously pouty over the party getting hold of a golem because he wanted to build a robot and now it's not cool.
Percy: It's a thing I've been working on but apparently someone else has done it first so never mind. It's passé and stupid and I don't want to hear about it anymore.
- Vax cheers him up by suggesting he build a little chair so Scanlan can ride around on the golem.
- This little gem from Ashley.
Ashley: I have advantage on Charismas.
- After she and Scanlan are insulted by River Maw leader Ivon for their tiny gnomish stature, Pike trips him on his way out the door and sarcastically attributes the incident to Ivon not seeing her because she's so small.
- After spending the entire episode joking about the silliness of Zanror proclaiming the herd would plan at dawn, the group ended up roleplaying a battle plan at the dawn war meeting.
Episode 54: In the Belly of the Beast
- When the show proper begins, the intro fails to play. The players then decide to re-enact it and nearly finish it just as the actual intro begins.
- Armor shenanigans between Scanlan and Vex. Scanlan does a strip tease with his armour before handing it over and Vex (after chasing Vax out) just throws hers at him.
- Vex quipping every time Vax and Keyleth talk. When he kisses Keyleth the night before the battle she yells out "Did you use your tongue?" and Keyleth whispers "She hears everything!"
- After burning through several Stone Shape spells embedding chains in Fassbender the Golem and the ground as part of their elaborate plan, Keyleth asks if she can use the remaining energy to make the charcoal "pringles" mustache Vax drew on him into an actual, permanent part of his face. Matt finds the idea so hilarious he allows it.
- Vax and Keyleth both roll 10s for initiative, and Liam and Marisha try to put a positive spin on it.
Liam: Big 10, which if you think about it, rounded is like 100!Marisha: Also big 10, which rounded twice is like 1000!Travis: Neither of those are true.Sam/Scanlan: Go make out again.
- Scanlan's Cutting Words against Umbrasyl's first tail attack against Grog, made even more funny by Sam's stuttering as he tries to figure out the insult on-the-fly:
Scanlan: Uh...uh...hoi! You're...s-s-so ugly...you entered...an ugly contest and they said 'no professionals!'
- During the fight, Scanlan decides to look back into the trees to see if Vax and Keyleth are making out. Liam and Marisha immediately say they're not: Vax is close to peeing himself and Keyleth is hyperventilating.
- Vax'ildan drinking the Potion of Diminution, and it is a world of adorably silly.
- Everyone's exasperated reactions when Vex wonders if she should "waste" one of her Dragon Arrows on Umbrasyl. An Ancient Black Dragon. If there was ever a time...
Vax: It's not a Kobold, lay into it!
- When Matt dramatically reveals Umbrasyl's full title, "the Hope Devourer", Sam diffuses the tension by insinuating "The Hope" must be his middle name. Travis comes in with this:
Travis: He used to be "Umbrasyl The Hope", and then marriage fucked everything up. (entire table cracks up)
- Matt's look of absolute horror◊ as Scanlan declares he's going to use a sixth-level Thunderwave from inside Umbrasyl's stomach.
- Laura trying to invoke her own "HDYWTDT" midway through the battle.
Liam: (wimpy voice) If an Ancient Black Dragon takes one hit point of damage, it cowers and dies.
- Similarly, when Matt starts leafing through his monster manual during Umbrasyl's turn, Liam has some wishful thinking.
Special Episode: Battle Royale II
- The battle royale's organizer is revealed to be... The Beyonder?
- Keyleth's anguished declaration of love to Vax after she ruthlessly kicks his barely alive body into a lava pit.
- As Vax sinks to his fiery death in the lava he raises his hand above the lava's surface and gives her the middle finger.
- Vax sics his poisonous snake belt, Simon, on Keyleth in what should be a tense scene where Keyleth is trapped in an enclosed space with a lethal creature, only for Keyleth to totally misinterpret the vibes going on and courteously talk to the snake.
Keyleth: Hello, Simon!
- The Beyonder accidentally forgetting to restore the losers to full health after the battle.
Episode 55: Umbrasyl
- Scanlan has alot of funny moments this episode.
- Scanlan polymorphs into a snake so he can try to poison Umbrasyl from the inside. It fails spectacularly.
- Scanlan "fisting" Umbrasyl.
- Everyone's reaction to learning that Scanlan polymorphing Grog into an eagle actually made the goliath smarter.
- Matt's reaction to Vax revealing that he got a total of 45 on stealth. (Natural 20 + His bonus of 15 + Vex's Pass Without a Trace)
Matt: You stealthed through time. People who had seen you in your past now have no recollection of ever actually seeing you.
- The girls all smudge soot on their faces to look like warpaint before entering Umbrasil's lair. Percy absolutely refuses to participate, so Vex draws a line of soot down his nose.
Percy: ...I feel violated.
- Shale calling Umbrasyl a "flying suitcase."
- Shale's response to Grog's incredulity towards her staff not having a name.
Shale: Only men name their things.
- Pike casts a Guiding Bolt up Umbrasyl's butt and rolls a Natural 20. Matt ends up describing how it feels about having divine magic go up its posterior and it is hilarious.
- Matt accidentally calling Laura "Vax." More than once.
Matt: I have a lot to focus on. Shut up.Sam: When I die, I'm going to come back as a character named Vix.Matt: Then you can find another Dungeon Master.
- Once again a prime romantic moment is ruined: Keyleth rushes to Vax after the battle, grabs him... and is promptly reminded by the other players that he's still tiny.
- Black Comedy ensues when Shale says it's a shame she didn't get to die a glorious death against the dragon.
Sam: Shale jumps in one of the acid pits.
- Travis' happy dance when Chris/Shale explains the power of the dragon tooth necklace and gives it to him/Grog.
Travis: I thought it was bullshit but it's not!
Episode 56: Hope
- The cannonball contest, and everyone's increasingly ridiculous strategies. Percy (who didn't want to participate until it was framed as a dare) jumps into the water with a kettle full of raw sodium, takes 23 points of damage from shrapnel, and wins!
Taliesin: Do not do this. You will die.
- Grog figuring out what the jug that they found in Umbrasyl's treasure hoard. He starts by putting it over his head. Turns out it creates what you ask for within the jug, like beer. And mayonnaise.
Vex'ahlia: So do you have a jug of mayonnaise, now?Grog: No, I ate that too.(everyone loses it)
- Pike spends the entirety of the hot spring portion of the episode, including the cannonball contest, completely naked save for her magical gauntlets. Already the fanart that this and Grog's mayonnaise misadventure has produced is hysterical.
- Vax trying to get his Boots of Haste back from Vex.
- The group find a Tome of Leadership and Influence in Umbrasyl's lair, which permemantly increases the Charisma of its reader, before losing its power for a century. While debating whether Scanlan or Keyleth should use it, Scanlan points out that Keyleth, being as long-lived as she is, would technically be able to have the next use of it. Percy then offers to give her a Tome of Swiftness that he'd used previously, telling her she'll be able to use it in 99 years.
- This exchange with guest character Kerrek:
Grog: Ker, are you an honest man?Kerrek: Iíve been called that, yes.Scanlan: [Immediately] I insight check him!
- At the end of Keyleth's talk with Kerrerk, both Sam and Tailesan launch into Black Comedy by joking that Kerrerk is going to stab Keyleth in the back with a "the Chroma Conclave sends its regards". (Though this becomes Harsher in Hindsight considering what happens to Vax in the next episode)
- Percy saying, "The terrible woman may have a point." And then getting all disdainful about "new money" versus the "properly titled". It's so snobby and great.
- Vex failing to form complete sentences when talking to Kerrek (dice were not involved). She then demands the book of charisma from Scanlan.
- A Brick Joke from back in Episode 54 lands when Matt reveals that somebody in Westruun triggered Pike's explosive arcane trap (inside a treasure chest meant for Umbrasyl). Turns out it was Orn Blackfoot, the Dirty Coward petty thief that Grog freed from prison. The party's concern immediately gives way to Comedic Sociopathy.
Travis: Yes! Fuck that guy!
- Keyleth pulling Vax aside prompting Travis to say "Oh god" which Liam replies to with "We spent two hours killing a goliath; hold tight buddy!" while Scanlan jokingly pulls Kerrek aside, Vex pulls Grog aside, and Percy walks away.
Liam: Catchphrase! Catchphrase! Meme!
Episode 57: Duskmeadow
- Once again, Victor makes an appearance. It also appears he made a few more... "mistakes".
- Victor has a rather disquieting fascination with the pickaxe-hand that Percy crafts for him.
- Vax riding Trinket who reluctantly lets it happen at Vex's request.
- Scanlan and Grog's visit to the hat store, where they meet Deirdre, an NPC who almost matches Gilmore for sheer flamboyance.
- Pike trying on Grog's hat to comedic effect. It's also adorable.
- Keyleth casts Speak With Plants to communicate with the Sun Tree. How does Matt voice an ancient, holy, innately magical tree? With a laid-back, stoned drawl, sounding not unlike Matthew McConaughey.
- Taliesin's explanation for why so many of the show's Cliffhangers involve Vax.
Taliesin: He runs into the rooms first, and he puts his tongue in exciting places. ... I'm not shouting at you! I'm envious!
Episode 58: A Cycle of Vengeance
- The look of surprise on Ashley's face when Matt gives her the Finish Him! cue. The look is equal parts adorable and hilarious.
- With Vax having successfully taken off the "gift" from "Gilmore" - a Robe of Flaying enchanted to slowly peel off the wearer's skin if one tries to take it off - and therefore being entirely naked, Gilmore wastes absolutely no time in Eating the Eye Candy when he teleports in to make sure the group is all right.
Gilmore: Oh. I didn't realize it was my birthday.
Pike: Yikes.Vex: Gross.Grog: Awesome!
- Also everyone's very in-character reactions to the description of what the Robe of Flaying actually does.
- During Pike and Keyleth's talk, someone off-screen drops a bunch of stuff. Keyleth thinks it's more assassins, but Matt quickly ad-libs a boy putting fruit back into his wheelbarrow and apologizing for disturbing them.
Marisha: My cabbages!
- Scanlan comes out to say goodbye to Pike and references the terrified boy. Keyleth also thinks he is an assassin.
- During the big assassin fight, Vax is wearing the fancy robe and everyone else is in whatever they sleep in plus whatever they could grab as they woke up. Among other things, this means Percy's butt-flap pyjamas are back (turns out he keeps a gun under his pillow because of course he does) and Pike is wielding her mace and shield in the nude.
- Vex flipping out when she learns Vax can fly - and then she learns it's once-per-day.
Vex: Oh. I'm glad I didn't push you off the cliff.Gilmore: That would have been really funny.
- Scanlan gives Vex a hat that he bought the previous episode on the condition she wear it while she rides the broom. It is, of course, a black witch's hat.
- Vex's broom antics in the bar, leading to a brawl.
Special Episode: Liam's Quest
- The concept of the episode is hilarious in itself: Laura, Travis, Taliesin and Sam are playing themselves as the world falls apart in an apocalyptic time warp.
- Laura spends a solid seven and a half consecutive minutes at the start of the episode hula-hooping during the pre-show announcements.
- The voice actor Slice of Life section at the beginning, where Liam mentions that Sam arrives 10 minutes later than everyone else, Travis spent the morning working out, and Taliesin spent it writing.
Taliesin: Oh, why would I do that?Liam: Well, 'cause it's Anime and that goes deep with you. Somebody's gotta adapt that shit.
- In the second take of the dialogue they're recording, Sam cuts himself off to say "pickup!" and start his line over four times. His line is two sentences long.
- The fact that Taliesin, in Real Life, is apparently Crazy-Prepared for the apocalypse:
Taliesin: If I can get to my car, I think I have a kit for this...Travis: That does not surprise me about you one bit.(later)Taliesin: I had six extra arrows in the trunk of my car...
- The Running Gag of Liam trying not to copy Mercer's catchphrases:
Liam: You can certainly...have at it.Liam: You may indubitably give it your best go.Liam: In what manner would you like to kill this?Liam: Is it the day before Friday yet?
- Travis is displeased with his character sheet:*
Travis: My intelligence sucks, you motherfucker!Laura: Look how strong you are though. You're so strong baby!
- Sam constantly pesters Travis about whether he's getting paid more for their VO jobs. After the world has already started falling apart.
- Taliesin mourning the fact that he has to burn a few pages of his copy of The Wicked + The Divine to make a torch...added the fact that Liam included the book on his character sheet.
Taliesin: If this is the last copy on earth...I will kill you.
- In the Q&A after the game Talisin was asked what he actually had in his car. The list did in fact include the arrows (borrowed), the book, a frock coat...
- Sam is a ranger. His favoured terrain? Recording studios.
- Travis panics at the apocalypse:
Travis: It's The Last of Us, dude. It's all over. I think we should just eat Taliesin and move on.Taliesin: I think if it's The Last of Us, we need Ashley Johnson. This is not just about me not wanting to submit to cannibalism.
(later) Taliesin: I'm still a little upset that we talked about eating me before the dog.
- Taliesin is stung over getting declared the first to be eaten.
- Liam's spot on impression of Ashley Johnson's speech patterns, if not her actual voice.
- Travis refuses to give a piggyback to his wife Laura, but agrees to piggyback Taliesin because he says "please." This receives an amazing Call-Back later, when Taliesin is slapping Travis to break him out of a stun state:
Travis: STOP SLAPPING ME!Taliesin: SAY PLEASE!
- Liam sets up the villain to sound like a super-powered lich Marisha. It's not. It's Conan O'Brien.
- Travis trying to chop Sam's arm off after he's frozen solid by Conan O'Brien.
Travis: He was never very good in the cold reads.
Laura: TRAVIS WILLINGHAM! YOU ARE NOT KILLING SAM RIEGEL RIGHT NOW!
- Laura getting upset with him.
Taliesin: It just took Conan O'Brien for us to turn on each other.
- Taliesin lamenting this turn of events.
- In the impromptu Q&A afterwards, the other players start asking Travis why he tried to kill Sam:
Travis: It said on the bottom of my character sheet, "Kill Sam".Everyone else: (looks at Liam)Liam: (looks confused)Travis: DECEPTION CHECK!
Episode 59: Into the Feywild
- Keyleth being Keyleth as she reacts to how pretty the Feywild is.
- Percy gets blinded by a nymph by rolling a Nat 1 on a Constitution saving throw.
- To elaborate, Taliesin was looking forward, imitating Percy's blindness, when Grog decided to test if Percy was truly unable to see. Without looking at Travis, Taliesin was able to correctly guess that Grog/Travis was indeed displaying one finger.
- Keyleth and Vax take advantage of his blindness and give him wet willies, which he tries to fight off. Even better, Percy managed to keep Keyleth from getting him the first time by catching her hand with his gloves of missile snaring, even though he couldn't actually see her moving her wet finger towards his ear.
- Scanlan tells the party to let Pike heal Percy's Blindspot and everyone starts laughing or facepalming while Travis applauds.
- Travis playing with his Super Saiyan figure.
- The satyr's book of cartoonish caricatures, as well as the piece he makes of the entire party, ranging from Grog having a very small head with a huge body to Pike looking like a goofy monster to Percy pointing his guns to his head to a manic and crazy-eyed Keyleth hugging a tree to the twins making out to Scanlan looking normal. The group's reactions are equally funny.
- The satyr tells the group to avoid certain things on their walk to the Shademurk bog. One of those things is, without context or further explanation, the theatre. Just avoid the theatre.
- Pike playing the satyr's ocarina. And not breaking eye contact the entire time.
- In a meta sense, Allura's warning to the team went along the lines of "Don't touch anything, and trust no one." As was snarkily pointed out, within forty-five minutes of receiving this warning in the story, Vox Machina touched everything, caused Percy to be blinded by a nymph, and they made a deal with the literal second person they met.
Episode 60: Heredity and Hats (LIVE)
- Very early on in the episode, Matt mentions there are "sigils" on a gate - and then looks directly into the camera for a few seconds as if daring the audience to laugh about it.
- Grog mishears Keyleth's greetings of "good day" as "bidet" and shouts it at pretty much anybody they come across.
- Garmili want Vox Machina to steal some things for him. One of these things is a hat, which belongs to one of the most important elves in the city. Scanlan manages to convince her that he's a fan of elven haberdashery, and the caper to steal the hat only gets more hilarious from there. As an added Funny Background Event, when Scanlan mentions his hat obsession, all of the members of Vox Machina start putting on their various hats.
- The sequence of events that leads Syldor's wife to addressing Percy as "Coffee Table".
- Vox Machina teaching the twins' little sister some new curse words, including "blue, sparkly poo". Even Syldor thinks it's Actually Pretty Funny.
- Percy giving Vex her title is extremely sweet. Later on, it's hilarious, as Vex gets a little power-drunk and starts bossing guards around.
Vex: As a Baroness I'm used to getting food when I want it!(later)Vex'ahlia: Is [the first guard] back from getting us food? Oh, oh! I hope he's not, because I'm going to send a second one off on another errand!Scanlan: Because you're a lady?Vex: Because I'm a Baroness.Percy: I have made such a terrible mistake.
- One player using a prop buckle to stand in for an object only for another player to unnecessarily point out it is, in fact, a belt buckle.
- "You reach in and you pull out a potato."
- Annoyed by the guards tailing them everywhere, Vox Machina collectively does their best to give those guards the worst (and possibly weirdest) day on the job they've ever had.
- The guards ask Vox Machina why they're all going into a bedroom together (it's so they can discuss some plans in secret). Vex tries to claim that the group is going for a nap and fails. Scanlan claims to the guards that they're going to have an orgy and succeeds. Vax immediately plays along, dragging Grog away by the collar and saying "come on, big guy, I'm tense". Keyleth doesn't understand what "polyamory" is and mixes it up with "polymorph," so she turns Percy and Vax into squirrels before they go into the bedroom.
Scanlan: (to the guards) We may need you to clean up afterwards.
- Once their "orgy" is over, Vax comes out of the room stretching and thanking Grog, saying he feels "loose as a goose". Keyleth walks out beast shaped into an actual goose. The guards are horrified.
- The entire orgy is also hilarious in a meta sense - this episode came out the same week that fan authors on tumblr were running a "rarepair week". * They felt like they wanted to thank the cast for contributing.
- Percy and Keyleth using a case of Exact Words to screw Garmili out of his deal. The satyr wants a piece of a Threshold Crest, which are powerful sigils that Syngorn uses to travel to the Feywild. Percy has Keyleth stone shape a Whitestone Crest out of some stone near the door - the "threshold" - breaks it, and gives him a piece. The best part of this is that it works.
- Keyleth pisses off some magical grass in the Feywild. Percy gives it a very flowery apology and some lovely compliments.
Percy: ...I'm flirting with grass.
- The fact that it was Keyleth, a druid and thus someone with a very close connection to nature, that managed to piss off a field of grass, is hilarious in itself.
- To date, Percy has conquered doors and now grass.
Episode 61: Denizens of the Moonbrush
- Grog and Scanlan's decision to run off to investigate the spirit bear's cave is met with some very half-hearted protest.
Percy: (deadpan) No, don't. Stop. Please don't do it. Please, whatever you do, don't do it, my god, please.
Scanlan: A bear had me in between its jaws and Grog cut it ass to lips to get me out!Percy: (in awe) It's only been sixty seconds...
- Blink and you'll miss it, but Percy actually fails his insight roll when Grog and Scanlan come out of the cave pretending that they've been attacked by bears, meaning he believes the whole story.
- It takes all of thirty seconds for Keyleth and Percy to start betting on whether Grog and Scanlan will make it out of the aforementioned cave alive, and continues when Vax, Vex, and Scanlan go to investigate the camp of Soruden the Happy.
- When Scanlan gets charmed into dancing along to a set of magical instruments, Sam himself dances the whole time he's under the charm's effect.
- Similarly, when Grog gets petrified, Travis holds the same position for a good seven and a half minutes straight.
- Percy doesn't tolerate anyone interrupting his beauty sleep. Not even pixies.
Taliesin: I pull out a piece of parchment and write "Hello fairies. We are napping," stick it on the tree, and go back to sleep.
- Matt's growing disbelief, shock, and frustration regarding the party collectively rolling a combined total of 14 Natural 20s.
Episode 62: Uninviting Waters (LIVE)
- Marisha's three Natural 1s and a Natural 2 on a new expensive opal die she'd bought earlier in the day. After using the new d20 and getting three 1s in a row, she switched to a different die, but decided to tempt fate with the new die one more time. After rolling a Nat 2, Laura came over to the table and took the die away, refusing to let Marisha use it again during the session.
Marisha: You-you...PERCY! Don't touch my dice, Percy!
- Taliesin and Sam's expressions every time a bad roll came up pretty much summed up the whole affair.
- After the second Nat 1, Taliesin first gives the die the finger, then picks it up and gives it a talking to. He then proceeds to roll it. Judging from Marisha's reaction, at the vary least it was a high roll, if not a Nat 20.
- When the Monster of the Week grabs and then swallows Grog, it takes a while for the party to realize that they're all tied to the same rope, and what it means.
- Keyleth scolds a giant magical plant-crocodile thing for eating two of her team-mates.
- Grog makes himself huge and tosses each member of the party across the river one by one in various ways "in the spirit of the Olympics".
- Everyone continues to torment Garmelie.
- The Saga of Laura Bailey and Flying Objects continues. Laura threatened to kill her husband, Travis, because he convinced Sam and Ashley to take her beloved broom to investigate a suspicious tree in the bog without her - and when they return, the broom appears to have stopped working. Vex showed far more concern over the safety of her broom than her friends, hugging it closely, terrified it might have been disenchanted like the flying carpet before it. Travis seemed in fear for his life and Ashley actually motioned for him to flee while Laura was looking away, which he did. Once Matt stopped trolling everyone and revealed that the broom was fine, Travis rushed back to his seat and Laura thanked Matt for saving their marriage.
- A highlight is Taliesin's reaction to the threat: because she made it in front of so many people it's really more of a promise. Several people in the audience immediately call out that they heard 'nothing'.
- Speaking of Taliesin, he apparently figured what was going to happen before everyone else: when Scanlan and Pike come back to the party, Taliesin can be seen whispering, trying to suggest Travis to go away before they can mention that the broom suddenly stopped flying.
Episode 63: The Echo Tree
- Grog rolls a nat 20 on a 'disappointment' check. Needless to say, he was pretty disappointed.
- Percy tries to explain his theory about the tree with the phrase "Life needs things to live", and Sam doesn't let him forget it for the rest of the session.
Scanlan: Guys. Life needs things to live—Percy: I had not had my coffee, I was tired, there was no bacon—Scanlan: And we are those things. I think we've all learned a lot today.Vex: We've learned so much.Percy: I hate you so much.
- Grog spends the entire fight falling off things and failing to hit Saundor...and then he gets the HDYWTDT. Nobody is more surprised about this than Travis.
- After Vex faceplants into the dirt unconscious, Scanlan picks her back up with a Spice Girls song parody.
Vex: (lifting her head up) Spice Girls?
- Taliesin is deeply unimpressed with Saundor pulling the Not So Different card on Vex, to the point where after the battle Percy and Keyleth both pull faces and mock the fey's words to cheer Vex up.
Percy: "We're a lot alike, you and I... Bleeeergh..." What an arsehole, Jesus.Keyleth: "You dragged your friends to their doom!"
- Garmelie reveals himself to be an extremely powerful creature named Artagan, possibly an Archfey, and Scanlan and Keyleth both try to cast spells on him to hold him. Matt bursts out laughing immediately.
Liam: He's a deity.
- And Scanlan's spell actually works.
- Keyleth, after seeing Artagan reveal himself, says this little gem.
Keyleth: You know, for someone who hates the theatre, you've made quite a show of all of this.
Episode 64: The Frigid Doom
- Sam botches the ad read in the beginning of the episode.
Sam: Goodbye, LootCrate!
- Vex'ahlia/Laura trying to convince Percy that he gave her a title of nobility, but unfortunate circumstances make it a bit harder for her.
Keyleth: You titled Vex'ahlia.Percy: (confused) I did what?Laura: OH NO!Scanlan: You gave Vex'ahlia a title in your Whitestone kingdom. She was the Duchess of some hut.Percy: Can someone who can't successfully lie to me, please explain to me...Vex'ahlia: Baroness. Lady Vex'ahlia, Baroness of the Third House of Whitestone, Grand Mistress of the Grey Hunt?Percy: How do you know about the Grey Hunt?!Vex'ahlia: I don't know anything about the Grey Hunt, but it's written down on a piece of paper you gave me, Percy.Percy: Is it written down on a piece of paper?Keyleth: It is written on a piece of paper.Vex'ahlia: ...That I accidentally threw out, while I was fixing my notes. (The group cracks up.)
- Taliesin's choking laughter completely sells this exchange.
- Pike uses Greater Restoration to restore their memories. Scanlan nervously realizes that his Modify Memory will be nullified and discovered.
Scanlan: I was only trying to help...Percy: (hugging Scanlan) I know where you sleep. And people work for me.
- Scanlan's confession of why he can no longer scry via poo had everyone both disgusted and in stitches.
Scanlan: I used my last magic poo to look at my daughter.Percy: Ew!Vax: What a sentence!
- While Matt is whispering in Laura's ear for the second time, Travis walks over to the other table's camera and uses perspective to squish Sam and Taliesin with his fingers. When he gets to Marisha, she flips him off.
- Scanlan's suggestion of doing Vorugal's voice and shouting "THORDAK YOU ARE A COCK!" until Vex points out he can't speak Draconic.
- The gang seemingly notices for the first time the obvious pun of Asum's name, and they just won't shut up about it. First they come up with ways to work the word "assume" into conversation as often as possible, shooting him a smug grin every time, then after that every time the word happens to come up they turn to him and apologize. His reactions range from the jovial Never Heard That One Before to having flashbacks to childhood, to remarking that at least his name isn't Purvan. He starts to lose his cool when Scanlan apologizes to him after saying the word "asshole".
Matthew: His scarred eye twitches.
Keyleth: (stifling laughter) And we wonder why people hate us!
Taliesin: I think he assumed we would.
- Later, they immediately start going after the name of new character Tooma ("It is not a tooma!") before the character even appears, admitting that they really ought to stop making fun of Matt's character names.
Matthew: Just adding fuel to the fire...
Episode 65: The Streets of Ank'Harel
- The offscreen running gag of saying something weird in an effort to make Matt laugh at the start of the stream actually gets caught on camera this time, leading to the very first word heard in the episode being "Pissblossom".
- Sam's epic plug for Loot Crate involving hardcore facts and statistics.
- Vax and Keyleth finally become lovers. How do they celebrate? A high-five! And after a tackle-hug onto Vax's bed, a "pan to the fireplace".
- Even funnier is everyone's reactions to Keyleth's confession, ranging from mild surprise to trying so hard not to giggle or laugh.
- It turns out Kashaw has been trying to train Whitestone citizens in how to use a spear and shield effectively since he uses them and it's not going well. While he's quickly preoccupied, Scanlan tries to convince the citizens to attack Grog as part of their training (Sam rolling 34 for Persuasion) and all of the citizens are terrified as they slowly approach.
Kashaw: (to the recruits) The gnome's fucking with you, it's fine! (to Scanlan) That was pretty funny.
- What's also hilarious is Kashaw's reaction to this:
- Speaking of Kashaw, his rather awkward moment with Keyleth near the Sun Tree. Marisha and the rest of the party can't keep a straight face, especially considering it's Matt who is playing Kashaw in the scene. What makes it funnier is that this was the day after Keyleth had confessed to Vax, and this moment was very embarrassing for her.
Marisha: (cracking up) Fuck you. I hate you so much.
- Not to mention Keyleth pushing Kashaw through the Sun Tree into Vasselheim while he was still talking.
- After leaving Gilmore's parents:
Liam/Vax: Well, they were a couple of sweethearts.Sam/Scanlan: They were adorable. They're both over 70, so who's going to kill them? (Matt almost does a Spit Take)
- As the party prepares to Wind Walk from Gilmore's parents' home to Ank'Harel, it occurs to them to wonder whether turning into mist in the desert climate would make them evaporate. Matt refuses to tell them whether this is possible (it isn't) and then points out that this would be the "saddest TPK ever": the members of Vox Machina, preparing for another step on their journey to gather the Vestiges of Divergence and defeat the Chroma Conclave, disappear into the clouds and are never seen again.
- "If you can't kill the old, terrify the young!"
- The day that they prepare to enter Ank'Harel, Vax attempts to sneak back to his room after staying in Keyleth's room for the night only to roll a Natural 1. He tries using his Lucky feat to remedy that, only to roll another Natural 1! Vex ends up catching him in the act of his "walk of shame", and her reaction is what sells it.
Vex: (gagging and horrified, gives Vax a thumbs-up and starts to go back in her room)Vax: Oh, hey, hold on a second, though.Travis: (mouth full of cookies) OH GOD. Talk it out, talk it out!Vex: I'm about to throw up...Vax: No no no no. Make jokes, but I want to go into your room for a second and talk to you.Travis: (still with a mouth full of cookies) Ew! Make him bathe!
- Even funnier is the whole group's reaction to his dual critical fails.
- And even funnier than that? According to an episode of Talks Machina, prior to the moment itself during the break, Liam and Marisha were discussing who should sneak out of the other's room, not wanting anyone to know (especially Vex) that Vax and Keyleth slept together that night as well as discussing what might happen if they got caught. Vax was picked because there was no way he could fail... but then he failed anyway.
- Scanlan basically attempting to instigate a drug deal with two random teenagers on the street, first breaking the ice by asking where they got their fruit, explaining that he has a 'glandular problem' when they question his height (or lack thereof) before simply saying, "...Spice? ... Do you spice?" The teenagers are completely baffled, and the rest of the group is laughing hysterically. Taliesin in particular questions the wisdom of asking random passersby about drugs, and initially begs him not to do it.
Sam/Scanlan: They seemed legit — they seemed like 'street kids'!Taliesin/Percy: What about that was 'legit'?!
Sam: Am I just buying cinnamon here?!
- Just Scanlan's attempts to secure a deal overall, especially considering that he knew nothing about the actual product he was attempting to buy.
- Percy and Keyleth volunteer to try the overly expensive alcohol that Grog just bought and become very intoxicated with only a few sips. The pair can barely talk and are called cute, but useless. What really sells it is Marisha and Taliesin answering questions from the group in hilarious, slurring, drunken unison.
Vax: Can you feel this?Percy and Keyleth: (nods heads and groans in the affirmative)Vax: You can? Can you feel this?Percy and Keyleth: (nods heads and groans in the affirmative)Grog: Does it taste good?Percy and Keyleth: (shakes heads and groans in the negative)Vax: (sounding concerned and confused) Do you recommend it?!Percy and Keyleth: (shrugs and groans a non-committal eh)(cue everyone dying of laughter)
- Vax has Percy try to recite his entire Overly Long Name.
- After all of this, Grog, who is usually of the act first, question never mindset, decides against drinking the alcohol.
- Not too long after this, the two of them manage to completely sink a transaction with a shopkeeper while trying to buy potions. Percy in particular just keeps digging himself deeper.
Special Episode: The Screw Job
- Sam's character, Obby the Rat, is a fountain of hilarity:
Sam/Obby: Obby the Rat is now realizing he must maintain accent for 3 hours. With limited accent capabilities.
- For starters, his accent is ridiculous.
Obby: I'm Obby the Rat/Know why they call me that?/Cause I hate haiku.
- His response to Dren's haikus
Dren: Do you guys wanna hear a haiku I wrote?Tarvis: A haiku?Delweth: What the fuck is a haiku?Obby: It is a 7-5-7 meter poem.Dren: Well, 5-7-5.Obby: Not where I'm from.
- Related to the above:
Obby: (spreads arms) It's okay, I am frequently used as punishment for everything.
- He attempts to use the blood sigils keyed to the Bluebottom bloodline, claiming he could be related as he has "a vast lineage."
- When Devan finds a secret door, invalidating the need for the risky climbing Obby just did, Tarvis makes her hug the dwarf. While he is covered in pee.
- His many reasons for why he is called Obby the Rat, including the aforementioned "I hate haiku" moment. They range from the expected: "Because I am small like rat"; to the absurd: "Because I hate art"; to the weird, but mundane: "Because Obby is actually short for Obenthal, it's a nickname".
- Obby and Dren go to investigate the library. Obby rolls high for an investigation check on the bookshelves and finds amidst the books on history and magic... an erotic novel. He gives it to Dren. Which leads to this moment when the group meet up again.
Obby: We found...Dren: [cutting him off] Nothing! There was nothing!
- Liam describes The Shrew's magic room as "Taliesin Jaffe's wet dream".
- Devan triggers a trap and is teleported inside a glass tank of water full of toxic fish. In a tense moment, the party rushes in to save her, hammering the glass tank with everything they have. Devan spends her rounds trying, but failing, to break her bound hands free (the rest of the party bound her hands earlier). For several rounds this goes on and the tank still holds, it seems like Devan is doomed... and then Laura remembers she has Misty Step and can just bamf out of the tank, rendering all that effort for nothing.
- Delweth's explaining how she punishes betrayal by flaying and wearing the skin of the traitor. She goes into great detail how she could wear Devan's skin as a hat but wishes there was enough so she could make a skirt.
- The Running Gag of Obby's name being said wrong to the point that Delweth says Obby should kill Dren just for getting it wrong the most.
- Travis' character is just named Tarvis. Lampshaded by Liam in his narrated intro: "Yes, that's the name Travis went with." He later explains that Travis spent weeks putting off naming the character before finally choosing.
- Tarvis is built up in the intro as this amazing assassin who The Clasp expects great things from. Travis then proceeds to roll low for pretty much the entire session.
- He ties Wil Wheaton's Thorbir for the most Natural 1s rolled in a single session (6). He gets progressively more upset with each one.
- Tarvis and the others yell at Dren for betraying The Clasp. Dren retorts that she never wanted to be an assassin, she wanted to be a poet.
- Liam ends up having his own version of the Vax/Vex problem: Three of his players have names that begin with "D", and he keeps confusing them.
- Liam describes a dead rat being smeared by a door. Travis and Mary simultaneously turn to Sam and say "Obby, your cousin."
Obby: Not related.Dren: I thought you said you had a vast lineage?Obby: That one I knew particularly.
- Dren and her haikus are adorably funny.
- Speaking of Dren, her complete inability to hide how much she cares about Devan borders on Most Definitely Not a Villain territory.
- One of her attempts involves loudly proclaiming they should use Devan as a human shield against a trap.
- Speaking of Dren, her complete inability to hide how much she cares about Devan borders on Most Definitely Not a Villain territory.
Episode 66: A Traveler's Gamble
- Scanlan's adventures as a fledgling drug kingpin continue as he finally meets up with the mysterious "spice" seller and coins a new alias for himself, "The Meat Man". After he pays four hundred gold for two bags of fusaka, the party try various methods (with increasing desperation) to get high off it, with Scanlan going so far as to take it anally. Finally Vex decides to ask the innkeeper what he knows, and discovers that fusaka really is just a mundane flavouring spice. It's rare because there's little demand for it, expensive for spice (which usually costs coppers and silvers), and rocks in at a market value of ten gold pieces.
- Keyleth tries to use Speak with Animals to talk to some racing lizards in the casino, is asked for a Sleight of Hand check... and rolls a Natural 1, after which she is promptly caught and kicked out. Later on, Grog attempts to proposition one of the nobles at the casino, rolls a Natural 1 on his Intimidation check, and he gets kicked out as well!
Episode 67: The Chase to Glintshore
- Scanlan stops by the casino after securing an airship and tries to find the spice dealers again for a confrontation, but they are nowhere to be found. Disappointed, he tries his luck at a dice game, only to lose 100 gold pieces. Now frustrated, he goes outside and asks Grog to slap him in the face, but because he's wearing a Hat of Disguise to appear as a human, Grog's slap passes through the illusion at four feet over Scanlan's head.
Scanlan: I can't even get slapped in the face right!
- The enchanter who the group hires to remove Ripley's spying enchantment is equated to an image of Matt in costume on a carousel◊ and subsequently cannot be taken seriously by anyone at the table. Matt has mixed feelings about the situation.
Episode 68: Cloak and Dagger
- Grog gets pissy when the twins don't let him hold one of the shiny flare stones, refusing to let Vax take point unless he gets one. Vax tries to pass off a shard of glass as the stone and slip past Grog, but the goliath simply grabs him by the scruff of his neck and glares. What sells it is that they each make successive rolls (Luck and inspiration from Scanlan respectively) that makes it look like Vax was initially grabbed, then not, then grabbed again.
- The layout of the battlefield in the main conflict is described by the cast as "crevasse boobies." Matt threatens to kill them all.
- Easy to miss amid the tension of the battle, but the mage in Ripley's party manages to have a spectacularly bad round even as he knocks two party members unconscious. First, Keyleth casts Whirlwind, leaving him restrained in a tornado. Then Scanlan casts Reverse Gravity in that area, sending everyone but the trapped mage flying a hundred feet into the sky. The next round, the mage casts Chain Lightning on Keyleth, knocking her unconscious, which means the Whirlwind fades and the mage is thrown up into the sky as well. Then the Chain Lightning splinters off to Scanlan, knocking him unconscious as well...which means Reverse Gravity also fades and the mage slams into the ground from a hundred feet.
Episode 69: Passed Through Fire
- When deciding on which revival spell to use, Pike is tempted towards the cheaper option due to knowing Vex would want to save some money. They spend the thousand gold worth of diamonds for Resurrection anyway.
- When the crew finds a Gate spell scroll on Ripley's body, the immediate reaction, mainly from Scanlan, is that they use it to save/bring back Percy. Everyone, but mainly Keyleth, shoot the idea down due to the incredible power of the spell. Later, when Percy awakens, Scanlan lets him know that he wanted to use a Gate scroll to save him but they all said no. Doubles as a Crowning Moment of Heartwarming and as the first real round of laughter from the group in the whole session, which had been understandably grim and incredibly emotional.
- Pike claims to have read all the books Percy gave her while they were away. After a pretty bad Deception check, Grog calls her out on her obvious lie.
- Grog being curious about Kerrek's letter gets this response...
Vax: Those are called 'words', Grog.
- More shenanigans with Grog's terrifyingly strong booze.
- They give some to Jarrett, and he and Scanlan have a hilariously incomprehensible conversation about obtaining drugs.
- Pike decides to have two swigs. The first does nothing. The second knocks her out. Vax starts stacking trays and cups on her back.
- Sam's impersonation of Patrick Rothfuss before Vax reads Percy's goodbye letter. It's really spot on.
- When Vax reads Pike's part in Percy's goodbye letter, he initially asks her if she heard it before remembering she's still passed out.
- The stream goes down twice due to technical difficulties. After they return, Sam jokes that Scanlan is holding Jarrett's severed head and Percy is dead again. Taliesin then dramatically rises up from a lying-down position.
- Then adding that Percy actually died twice again, one time being Vex's fault, and that Marisha cried eight more times.
Episode 70: Trust
- During the pre-game announcements, Sam does a plug for the show's sponsor in rap form. The entire cast is dying laughing, and Taliesin is in tears.
- Grog telling Keyleth to be patient. A sign of his character development, but still funny that he's the one to calm her down.
- When Raishan explains the curse she apparently now has...
- Scanlan convinces Grog, who's carrying all the guns acquired from the Ripley fight, to give him one of them and some ammo. Later, he tries to load one. While Matt does not specifically state he fails to do so safely, the fact that it was a fairly low roll for what he was doing (11) doesn't give one much hope.
- Later, Percy has to buy the rest of the guns off of Grog, and does so by bestowing patently fake title: "The Grand Poobah Da-Doink of This and That". Not only does Grog buy it completely, Taliesin points out that he didn't even bother with an insight check.
- Though the audience is slightly disappointed that Percy and Vex don't discuss their relationship, when Percy and Vex go to the library to study up on a monster, it's so adorably awkward!
- Scanlan tries to Mind Wipe Lady Kima into forgetting about Raishan and fails, and gets justly whacked upside the head (for 35 points of damage!) in retaliation.
Episode 71: Vorugal
- Scanlan and Kima are not happy with each other for most of the first half of the episode, with Scanlan semi-seriously considering breaking down the magical mansion while she's still inside and leaving her out in the cold. Oh, Scanlan...
- Kima is left behind when VM go to scout out a location for the battle. When she talks about making herself something to eat, they mention the mansion supplies nothing but chicken.
Kima: ...I love chicken!Grog: There's also a training room downstairs, if you want to go smash shit.Kima: I'm gonna go eat chicken and smash shit!
- Vex, Vax and Scanlan hand off their Vestiges to Keyleth to look after while they go talk to some people. When they come back, they find Keyleth trying to fire Whisper through Fenthras like a little kid playing with her parents' clothes.
- Grog breaks up a sibling fight between Vex and Vax.
- Vax dicking around with the teleport function of Whisper and nearly falling on Vex's head.
- A little bit of Ho Yay between Pike and Kima occurs when Scanlan and Pike go to retrieve Kima before the battle. Kima is downstairs doing one armed push-ups and eating chicken, and Pike is... very impressed.
- When Raishan appears in disguise, it takes Scanlan and Pike a few minutes to realize/learn who it is, much to her frustration. But they've got nothing on Vax, of all people, who spends the entire conversation having absolutely no idea that the person they're speaking with is Raishan!
Episode 72: The Elephant in the Room
- While Vex and Scanlan are having a tense and heartfelt conversation with Tooma and the Ravinites in Vorugal's lair, Grog begins running back and forth, still in a persistent rage, searching for loot "like a cracked out PCP addict". Naturally, he rolls a natural 1 on perception and just begins rage looting snow, digging like a mad dog and throwing snow in Vex's face. After the conversation is concluded, Grog just screams "WHERE THE FUCK IS IT?" Completely ruining a touching moment.
- The gang takes a moment to do inventory as Grog tries to make room for their loot by throwing out all the useless crap the group forgot they had collected. Among the things thrown out are: totally decomposed orc head, a brain chunk, two dark elf heads, one random arm and twelve beef jerky strips. Tooma and the other Ravinites observe this display with growing concern as she munches on the not very fresh discarded jerky.
Grog (to Tooma): Right? Yeah, those are like super fresh. (Turns towards the group and mouths) Fuck!
- Keyleth plays with the new Vestige, looking for all the world like a kid in a candy store. Unfortunately, a succession of poor rolls makes her sparring attacks on Grog... underwhelming. Grog's disappointment at not being mauled is funny enough, but his attempts to insist that he's injured, and Keyleth apparently buying it and being even more excited, cross between this and adorable.
- Later on, Keyleth transforming into an elephant with Percy on her back. Scanlan and Grog are convinced that the elephant is an intruder who has kidnapped Percy, and start beating the crap out of poor elephant!Keyleth. Once she switches back to her druid form, she pretends that the elephant tried to eat her.
- Also, the episode's absolutely perfect Pun-Based Title that resulted from this (and from addressing the metaphorical elephant in the room, namely whether or not Vex will ever confess her feelings for Percy).
- Vax and Scanlan have a literal pissing contest. Matt has them roll Performance checks to see how well they can write their names in the snow. Vax wins. Scanlan: "My wang is built for power, not accuracy."
- There's something really hilarious to how Taliesin breaks character at the end, since this episode ends immediately after Percy kisses Vex.
Taliesin: Bam, motherfucker!
- While everyone has varying levels of attentiveness while Percy and Vex have a personal conversation in the woods, Travis, who is normally trying to do anything but pay attention, is so wrapped up in whether Vex will admit her feelings for Percy that he looks about ready to chew a hole through the drink can he's holding. When Percy unexpectedly kisses Vex, Travis squeals and looks just as excited as Laura, if not more so.
Episode 73: The Coming Storm
- It's the Halloween episode, which means we're treated to the sight of Matt conducting several heartwarming, tearjerking, and extremely tense conversations... while dressed as Viktor the black powder merchant.
- Everyone keeps breaking out into laughter for the first part of the episode due to not being able to take Matt seriously. Especially Liam.
- Everyone is dressed as various villains from the campaign, except Liam, who's dressed as Tyriok the map-maker and conducts the entire session one-handed.
- Scanlan is dressed up as Hotis the Rakshasa, leading to the inevitable "they're GRRRRRRREAT" shoutout.
- Married couple Laura Bailey and Travis Willingham are dressed as married couple Delilah and Sylas Briarwood.
- Taliesin Jaffe is Clarota because of course he is.
- Marisha Ray is Dr. Anna Ripley. (Meaning three people at the table, fully half the players, are dressed up as people who traumatised Percy. Four if you count Viktor.)
- Matthew Mercer and Marisha Ray got engaged a few days before the session, which is adorable, but results in viewers being treated to the mental image of Viktor marrying Ripley when they announce it at the beginning of the evening. The cast's comments include the suggestion of Travis Willingham as a flower girl.
- Vex and Keyleth come across a half-naked Kashaw sleeping in his room. They comment on his loud snoring, with Vex mentioning that Vax doesn't snore. Keyleth's response? "I know." She immediately reacts in embarrassment to what just came out of her mouth.
- Then, after waking Kashaw up, Vex and Keyleth pick up the Slayer's Take contracts from him, which they don't need anymore because they've already killed Vorugal. When they tell him he went all the way to Vasselheim for nothing, his reaction is simple:
Kashaw: Get out of my room.
- After leaving Kash's room, Vex and Keyleth have a brief moment of girl-talk and squee about Percy kissing Vex. And in a case of Open Mouth, Insert Foot, when Vex asks Keyleth about her friendship with Percy and she says "He's not my twin brother", Vex segues into talking about her and Vax.
Vex: He kissed me!Keyleth: Who, Kash?
- There's also the way this one starts, with a moment of mistaken identity:
- Scanlan once again seeks out Jarrett to ask about drugs, leading to an embarrassing, hilarious, and then surprisingly serious conversation... at the end of which Jarrett sucker-punches him for making insulting assumptions about him and that Scanlan now has something to look forward to.
- The sheer look of horror on everyone's face (including Matt's!) when Percy stabs Asum is somewhere between funny and completely understandable, but Marisha's reaction is hilarious.
Marisha: Ohhhh, let's fucking DO THIS SHIT! LET'S DO IT! Let's do it....DO IT!
- Allura sheepishly telling Percy that they threw his desk chair into the spinning orb of death.
Episode 74: Path of Brass
- The general at Fort Daxio describes herself as having "served under" Mikhail Daxio for fifteen years. Laura immediately raises her eyebrows and starts laughing. Evidently she's getting a reputation as the queen of innuendo.
Liam: You are the worst.Travis: I just - I mean like - it didn't even take a second.Taliesin: I specifically looked [toward Laura], hoping.
- Sam running his Magnificent Mansion as a soup kitchen — but also treating it like a high-class restaurant, asking the soldiers if they have a plus one or if their names are on his list.
General: (without taking her eyes off Scanlan) I can't tell, is the little man fucking with me?Allura: Usually, yes, but not right now.
- Related: when he tells the general the idea, her reaction (and Allura's reply) is priceless.
- Percy working on one of the trebuchets somehow turns into a Mr. Fanservice Shirtless Scene, with all the nearby soldiers either looking at him in utter bewilderment or fanning themselves.
- Vox Machina insisting they can fix Fort Daxio in a montage! ...Which is swiftly interrupted by Matt, who describes the General as stopping the montage with a wave of her hand.
- Matt is forced to describe a situation in which the sun is directly overhead.note The rest of the group cracks up at his struggle.
Matt: I'm not gonna say it, but the sun is high in the sky.Sam: It's fuuuuull sunlight.Taliesin: It's lunchtime!
- The new NPC, Senokir the jeweler, whose slightly bizarre mannerisms make the party fall in love with him immediately.
Taliesin: We'll never see Viktor again. I have a new best friend.
- Percy covering his hands with black powder while on the plane of fire.
Matt as Victor: LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES!
- After receiving aid from two residents of the City of Brass, Vox Machina negotiates repaying the favor.
Percy: The deal will not include any of us —Scanlan: Unless it's for a one-time sexual favor of some sort —Vex: In which case, take your pick.Scanlan: I'm up for that.Grog: I'm up too.(beat)Percy: Oh my god you people.
- Scanlan's reaction upon one of the efreeti realizing that Scanlan had mind controlled his friend.
Scanlan: I'm just a harmless - KILL HIM KILL HIM NOWWWW!
- The fact that in spite of Senokir's extreme creepiness and overall untrustworthy manner, Vox Machina chose to put all their trust in him and more or less sell themselves into slavery to him.
- Matt attempts to make the sound of a grandiose war horn as the group arrives at Fort Daxio, only for it to come out sounding more like a vuvuzela. Everyone cracks up as Matt hides his face in shame.
- Vox Machina either missing or ignoring Matt's hints that a trip to the fire plane is a bad idea.
- Senokir's weird, monotonous laugh when Vax starts messing with Vex.
Episode 75: Where The Cards Fall
- Sam's radio play at the start of the episode.
- Percy's utterly baffled and slightly flattered look when Vax suggests giving him another Shirtless Scene to attract slave buyers.
- In order to make themselves more appealing to slave owners, Scanlan casts Seeming to make everyone look like "sextuplets" resembling Vax and Vex. Which means that Keyleth and Percy, the twins' love interests, suddenly look exactly like the twins. Vex and Vax are horrified, and Percy has an absolute field day.
Vax: (thoroughly squicked) Grog, slap me really hard across the face right now.Grog: Done! (knocks him flat)Vax: Sweet, sweet ignorance...Percy: Do you need a hand up, brother?
Percy: (to Vex) You're an idiot and I'm very proud of you. Don't do that again.Vex: ...Don't. Talk to me right now. Just...don't.Percy: (cracks up)
- It also ruins a prime romantic moment after Vex buys the aasimar slaves:
- Also, the original conversation about the sextuplets:
Keyleth: I think we're spending a lot of time on this, and maybe not enough time on our battle plan.Percy: The battle plan... is nesting doll sextuplets.
- When Vox Machina arrives at the forge of the fire giant Waska, they strike an agreement: in exchange for information pertaining to the whereabouts of the Plate of the Dawnmartyr, they will give up some magic items. They offer the Ring of Protection and a Ring of Lightning Resistance with no hesitation... but when Grog offers up the Alchemy Jug (which creates some liquids in limited amounts and nothing else) they immediately protest. It makes mayonnaise!
- The negotiation between Keyleth and Waska includes this gem:
Keyleth: I don't believe it is from this realm, but it resides here. It was won by a fire giant, [such] as yourself, in a game of cards.Waska: A game...of cards?Keyleth: Or, some call them...card games.(muffled laughter from everyone at the table)
- Two fire giant guards greet them and the first thing Scanlan asks is "Are they fuckable?" Poor Matt takes a few seconds to reply that Scanlan can try if he wants, but he'd be the gerbil.
- Grog rolls a natural 20 on Deception to convince Keyleth and Pike that if they drop the absurdly heavy metal square they're awkwardly hauling around, they will die. Neither Pike (14) nor Keyleth (a natural one) roll well enough to see through it.
- Grog's adorable spelling lesson with Pike.
Episode 76: Brawl in the Arches
- Seeming once again rears its hilarious head as Liam forgot that the spell was making everyone look like the twins and had Vax kiss Keyleth in the middle of the battle, only for it to be pointed out later that Vax made out with his sister's doppelganger.
- The reaction to Sam's new book of vile limericks. Even better, the fact that it was a gift from Taliesin, and Taliesin never intended it to be read on the stream.
- When Vex has to make a death saving throw and passes, she also takes poison damage, which automatically fails. Laura cheerfully says, "Thank god I passed 'cause I would've just died!", realises what she said, and stares into the middle distance with a blankly frozen smile for nearly twenty seconds straight while the episode continues.
Episode 77: Clash at Daxio
- Sam reveals a new shirt he made...featuring one of Matt's derpfaces. Matt then takes the opportunity to remind everyone that the topic of the new GM Tips episode was about handling character death.
- The same image on the shirt is also on the bottom of Sam's mug, which goes unnoticed by the cast for the majority of the episode. When Matt finally spots it, he mutters, "I hate you so much, Sam."
- Poor Percy tries to make an attack with Animus, which jams, then Bad News, which also jams. So he goes for a nearby trebuchet... and blows the strength roll to aim it. Pike's the one who winds up firing it.
- When Xanthas charms Vex into walking off a ledge, she does that... but pulls out her broom, forcing him to yell to shoot her friends instead.
- Introducing the Aasimar boys to Cassandra, Laura completely blanks on their names.
Vex: This is, um, ...Keurig and Human.Matt: You're the best foster mom ever.
- The group's very extended discussion on whether to take Allura or Gilmore to Emon. They keep trying to palm the decision off onto the NPCs and Matt's having none of it.
Episode 78: The Siege of Emon
- Percy goes to Vex's room with alcohol to continue their post-kiss promise to "talk later". Vex greets him without any clothes.
Mary: (singsong) I can't wait for the artwork!
- Will Friedle's scary levels of tactics expertise. And his exasperation at Vox Machina's lack thereof.
- Matt narrates what it's like to be among the soldiers preparing for the titular siege, when Will suddenly exclaims, "Dale?!" Matt rolls with it and we get a very brief, hilariously inexplicable scene in which Kashaw chats with his old friend Dale. The very grim and taciturn Kashaw being incredibly boisterous during this conversation seals the deal.
- Matt's subbing for Grog includes a scene in which he reacts with a glum, wordless moan when told not to drink something, prompting this observation:
Sam: Matt's Grog and Matt's Trinket are very similar.
Matt: Well, to be fair...
- Liam rolls a natural 20 for detecting traps. All Matt can really do about it is emphasize the impressive extent to which there aren't any traps.
- Scanlan breaks up a particularly tense conversation with the Clasp by claiming a Thieves' Cant code knocked out by an invisible Vax was done with his penis. The best part is that the whole studio bursts into laughter and the crew even begins to applaud.
Episode 79: Thordak
- As he stares down Thordak, Percy has a moment of crisis where he questions his life choices. He then hastily clarifies that he only means some of his life choices
Percy: I'm regretting so many things right now (points at Vex) - not you! Oh god, I shouldn't avoid my family. It leads to dragons...
- Keyleth, having heard what Percy said to Vex, wants details on whether he ever followed through after the kiss. Both Percy and Vex point out that this really isn't the time.
- Keyleth's 8th level tsunami spell is decidedly underwhelming (Thordak's sheer size means it barely affects him), to Marisha's dismay. Matt's reaction is... somewhat flippant. Until he realizes that reacting that way may have put him in hot water with his girlfriend.
Laura: What level spell was that, Gilmore?Gilmore: (morosely) Sixth.Keyleth: Yeah. Eighth. I feel ya, man.
- Keyleth and Gilmore's moment of solidarity when Thordak dodges his 6th level Disintegrate spell.
- Scanlan's inspiration song, set to a familiar Christmas tune:
Thordak the Cinder Ki~ngHad a very shiny gemAnd if you ever saw itRun the fuck away from him!
Episode 80: Raishan
- The group decides that the classic D&D spell Abi-Dalzim's Horrid Wilting shall henceforth be known as Adella Dazeem's Horrid Wilting.
- Apparently growing frustrated with Sam's refusal to have Scanlan play the brass flute to summon J'mon Sa Ord to the party's aid, Laura busts out a limerick based on her previous attempt to convince him. Better yet, it apparently works!
Laura: Have you heard tell of Scanlan the Bold?Who won't tell us his age - but he's old!With his sword he's a slayer,With the ladies, a player,But if he picks up the flute he's pure gold!
- Even when he was frozen solid by Raishan's Cone of Cold spell, Sam continues to deliver the laughs.
Sam: I died as I lived... hard.
- Keyleth tries a simple but needless jump (the battle was over and she wasn't being threatened) and rolls a Natural 1, faceplanting into the lava.
Taliesin: Oh look, somebody left a metaphor on the ground! Oh god, don't step in it or anything!
Episode 81: What Lies Beneath the Surface
- Vox Machina return to Whitestone covered in sweat, blood, soot, and worse. When they meet Cassandra, Percy decides what she really needs is a great big hug from her sweaty, bloody, sooty, smelly older brother.
- After Vax gets done talking with Percy in the bathroom, Vex pops up from under the water. Corpsing ensues from the entire table.
Marisha: How big are these fucking bathtubs?
- Special mentions: Travis doesn't even try to play it cool and immediately jumps up and cheers, Liam acts like a shocked brother, and Marisha immediately lampshades:
- Also, when Vax enters the bathtub Taliesin tells him "I'm really working on something here," (without knowing what Laura had in mind). Then everyone lampshades how that phrase looks in hindsight, with Taliesin trying to defend himself by claiming they really were just bathing.
- Right before the break, Sam theorizes what Raishan's plan is. Made even funnier with the guest player at the table...
Sam: She was looking for the third book of the trilogy of Patrick Rothfuss!
- The sandkeg returns, leading to Allura slowly beginning to slur her words as the booze takes hold, and Kerr suffering from the strong burning taste and then immediately losing all feeling in his mouth.
Keyleth: Now the fire has passed through you.
- When the group decides to loot Thordak's lair, who finds the Deck of Many Things, possibly the most ridiculously dangerous and campaign-destroying magical item in the game? Grog, the barbarian with 6 INT, played by Travis, one of only two people at the table with no idea what it does (and none of the others can tell him without metagaming). Everything that comes after is nerve-wrackingly hilarious. Watch everyone's faces as Matt describes the find.
Matt: (defending Grog being the one to find the deck) Look man, the last thing I expected was for Grog to be the first one to loot for magical items and roll a decent investigation check! And yet here you are, discovering this deck!
- Grog discovers the scimitar he found is, in fact, a Dancing Sword. He waltzes with it to try and unlock its powers.
- While Scanlan's adventures in drugs are slowly becoming more serious than funny, this line is still humorous.
Keyleth: (holding the flute Scanlan turned into a bong) Uh, guys... I feel like this was classic Scanlan... in terms of choices...
- Patrick Rothfuss as paladin Kerrek is trying to figure out how much healing to dole out, so it's suggested that everyone under 30HP raise their hands... and Rothfuss notes, as they do so, that this would be an excellent moment to kill them all. As the group cracks up, Rothfuss claims he was sent by Acquisitions Incorporated to extract "protection money".
- In a classic moment of simultaneous seriousness and hilarity, Scanlan modifies Jareth's memory to change his answer to supplying Scanlan with more drugs from a vehement "No!" to agreeing to do anything he can. The group can't help but laugh.
- After Vax and Keyleth's haircut talk and Scanlan preparing his "pipe" for the morning, Kerrek gets "noisily sick" and throws up in the latrine.
Episode 82: Deadly Echoes
- Marisha taunting Matt with her 21 Dexterity check and the party telling her not to do that. Matt's poker face (aside from a one-eyed blink) and Marisha backpedaling is what sells it.
Episode 83: The Deceiver's Stand
- Sam plugs Marvel. Specifically by claiming he's "leet", then botching every single reference so badly he's obviously doing it on purpose.
- It gets worse in the next week's Talks Machina, as Brian Foster claims Sam had stolen the joke from him.
- Grog scoring a critical hit with his new dwarven throwing hammer on Thordak's head. The head attached to his thoroughly dead body.
- Marisha is so shocked and excited over landing a clutch Feeblemind on Raishan that she falls right out of her seat, to the point where her shoes briefly stick up into frame.
- Continuing a precedent from the previous fight, Scanlan has another undignified death - this time covered in his own urine. Never change, Scanlan...
- All of the egg jokes throughout the episode.
- Also, the beginning, with Vax going all-out on them by using advantage, sneak attack, the sharp-shooter feat and poison. The egg makes a successful save against the poison.
- Laura sums up Vox Machina rather neatly:
Raishan: Why won't you just stay down and die with dignity?!Vex: (immediately) We don't do anything with dignity!
- As the other players are discussing using Revivify on the just-killed Percy, Sam makes his own contribution.
Sam: Right now Scanlan's getting fed grapes by little cherubs... that are the same size as him. And he's like, "Come on, Percy, they've got red and green grapes..."
- Laura's opinion on what Scanlan's personal Hell would be, made a crowning moment by Sam acting it out.
Laura: The ultimate punishment for Scanlan is that he would show up as a spectral servant in someone else's Mansion.Sam: "You want me to do what? Ugh... Alright." (opens his mouth)
- While considering that Raishan might be hiding within the dragon-sized central wall of the chamber, this exchange occurs quietly in the background:
- Raishan casts Disintegrate, which leaves the players panicking as Mercer takes a picture of the die he just rolled and proceeds to look something up on his phone. Travis asks Taliesin to pass him the laser pointer and attempts to blind Mercer with it.
Episode 84: Loose Ends
- Vox Machina has battled and defeated the undead, demons, and ancient dragons. The quest that finally trips them up? A simple request to bury some remains. They stall for over thirty minutes while arguing in circles, convinced that it can't be that easy.
- Sleeping naked in the Raven Queen's temple in Whitestone probably made more sense in Vax's head. Regardless, the mental image of Vex slamming open the doors before covering her eyes in horror is hilarious. Vax points out that they used to take baths together and just has no idea why Vex/Laura starts giggling...
- Grog receives a major Mind Screw when Kima tells Vox Machina what to do if they see Vord in Vasselheim:
Kima: Tell him you haven't seen me.
Kima: No. Just tell him you haven't seen me.
Grog: But I have seen you.
Kima: Tell him you haven't.
Grog: (turns to Vex and Pike for help, the expression on Travis's face causing the entire table to erupt in a minutes-long peal of laughter)
Episode 85: A Bard's Lament
- The epic fight between Grog and Earthbreaker Groon begins! Grog enlarges himself, and Groon... does nothing. The first few rounds involve Grog running around in total confusion over what's happening, and then making an attack that gets blocked by some crazy Monk ability that makes poor Grog look like an amateur.
- Grog stoically exits the arena, covered in blood, newly powered-up, to greet his friends after a gruelling one-on-one battle. His knees are shaking, and he whispers as he approaches for them to just keep walking with him and try to look cool. Keyleth calls up some wind to kick up the dust behind them as they march into the sunset.
- Very soon after, several of the party of course point out that this battle, which saw both combatants put on the very edge of death, continues their record of violence against the elderly.
- Scanlan's argument and split with Vox Machina is heart-rending... but it occurs while he's still wearing Pike's nightgown, with the room covered in stale pudding.
- In the middle of a heartfelt conversation between Grog and Vex, Grog mentions that though he trusts everyone in the group, he feels like he has a deeper relationship with Vex. She nods solemnly, saying "Because you've seen my titties." As the conversation wraps up, she offers to show them to him again to cheer him up.
- The morning after Scanlan's departure, Keyleth staggers out of her room with one of Vex's blue feathers in her hair, wailing about this being the darkest timeline.
- The merchant from Episode 22 and 43 is encountered once more — laying eyes on Vex and immediately demanding she stay the hell away from him.
- Vax, for reasons of his own, tells Grog he can "summon a dragon" and forms both his hands into a silly dragon head shape, like a kid's game. Grog reacts by grabbing and crushing Vax's hands, claiming he thought Vax was in danger.
- The episode concludes with the introduction of Sam's new character, Tary Darrington. Everyone instantly hates him... except Grog, who reacts to the wannabe adventurer's fancy gadgets like a kid at Christmas.
Keyleth: It's like when your pet hamster dies, and you immediately replace it with a new pet hamster! [...] I don't want a new pet hamster!Keyleth: (pouting) I don't like new people! Not as of yesterday!
- Tary asks what Vox Machina's rate is for traveling with them. Vex immediately says fifty-thousand gold. Tary replies that fifty-thousand gold is nothing. Vex's jaw drops, and Grog quickly tacks on "Per hour!"
- Keyleth especially hates him. Adorable as it is that she doesn't want Scanlan to be replaced, she goes about it by saying the most ridiculous things:
Percy: (sounding harassed) I'm being narrated. I get nervous when I'm being narrated.
- She says that he's like the worst version of Percy and turns to Percy and says "No offense."
- Percy's immediate reaction:
Travis: (quietly, to self) I'm gonna love Tary so much...
- Tary cheerfully addresses Vex'ahlia as "little elf girl". Everyone immediately gets an Oh, Crap! face while Laura/Vex glares and takes several deep breaths. Taliesin backs away from her as far as possible while still sitting in his chair.
- It's even funnier that in-character, the rest of VM try stealthing away from this situation. Vax uses stealth, Keyleth uses a Fog cantrip, Percy uses hex to be concealed in shadow and Grog just backs away.
- When Vex tries to give orders to a construct, Tary points out that it won't obey her... and signs his own death warrant by adding "If you had some sort of a pet, you would understand." Travis audibly gasps.
Laura: YOU'RE A PIECE OF SHIT!
- Laura's entire reaction is priceless; the moment Sam starts talking as Tary, she stares in surprise with her mouth agape, flickering between shock and happiness, realising that Scanlan's departure was a set-up for Sam to introduce his new character. As soon as Sam finishes his introductory monologue, she scrunches up a tissue and throws it at him.
Grog: I'm a dark wizard.
- Vax suggests using Tary as bait for Hotis, causing Vex and Keyleth to theorize that Tary is the rakshasa in disguise. Both Vax and Grog disagree with this speculation, and simultaneously say why - with very different but equally hilarious reasons:
- The episode ends as the crew bombard Sam with nerf darts in general outrage.
Episode 86: Daring Days
- Lootcrate picks up on Taryon.
- Taryon's sister, named Marianne Darrington, is a total jock. Grog instantly asks if she's single and the rest of VM laughs over her name.
- Really just Taryon's interactions with Vox Machina after the reveal that he's not as suave and confident as he claims to be, especially considering how convinced he is that they believed he was as suave and confident as he claimed to be.
- The confrontation between Taryon and Vox Machina. He's desperately fighting for his life, while Grog's just playing, Vax keeps walking close and away, and Percy and Keyleth are discussing how to make things "interesting". And despite Taryon pushing all of Vex's buttons the previous episode, they did it all while she wasn't there.
- Percy and Vex have sex in the treasury, something that's been constantly joked would happen. It is termed the Scrooge McFuck.
- Percy being appalled at the "dark mirror" of himself that he sees in Taryon.
- The sounds Sam makes during Taryon's Inelegant Blubbering really have to be heard to be believed, though Grog has a pretty good description:
Grog: (to Vex) Did it sound like a llama being mauled by a pack of wolves?
- The following line, for at least three reasons:
Tary: (to Percy) I don't normally do this, but what's your name?
- The mere implication that Tary doesn't normally bother to ask for people's names.
- The realization that Tary has been calling everyone by irritating nicknames for the entire episode because he genuinely doesn't know their real ones.
- The fact that, upon Percy predictably responding with his Overly Long Name, Taryon immediately repeats it back perfectly.
- And there's Sam's evil genius at work. After having Scanlan brutally call out Vox Machina for not knowing his backstory, he tailors his new character to provoke their sympathy and deliberately avoid learning anything about them.
- When Grog stumbles over Tary's name and Tary corrects him with, "Friends call me Tary, Jumbo," Grog misunderstands and proceeds to refer to Tary as "Tary Jumbo" for the rest of the episode.
- Travis throws Sam a pretzel that Taliesin effortlessly catches out of mid-air.
Taliesin: Gloves of Missile Snaring are currently equipped!
- Vex tries to give Grog back the Deck of Many Things that she took and replaced with decoy, hoping to teach him a lesson about trust, only for Travis to have Grog completely fail to realise what she's actually done. Eventually Grog becomes so confused he rolls an Insight check on Vex (and gets a six). Then they go to search Scanlan's room for drugs and wind up finding the remnants of his Porn Stash instead.
Vex: I'm sorry that I lied to you, even though you didn't notice.Matt: (ruling for the Insight check) It's a lot of words. It's a lot of words. But you got your deck back! It's really confusing. She's talking at you but nothing changed.
- When Vex first pulls out the Deck of Many Things, Grog is so convinced he still has it that his first assumption is that Vex found another one. The reaction is so quick and in-character on Travis's part that Taliesin mutters, "How is he this good?" in the background.
- Sam Leaning on the Fourth Wall with Taryon talking about how he "plays his characters" at night.
- Grog trying to bait Tary—who has noticed that his first day among Vox Machina has consisted only of the low-key conclusions to a few fetch quests—into fighting someone:
Grog: See that fruit merchant over there? He's killed many people.
Tary: Oh. Then maybe I can pay him to take me on an adventure. Christ, this is as fucking boring as I could possibly get.
- As a preamble to ambushing Tary, Grog invites him to take part in a game of chance:
Grog: We form our hands into the shape of a boulder, a piece of paper, or a pair of shears.
Percy: Okay, I don't know what's going on, but I'm staying out of it.
Keyleth: What's the matter, you've never played boulder-paper-shears?
Tary: Of course I've played boulder-paper-shears!
- Sam also breaks character to tell Marisha that's the greatest thing she's ever said. They later change the name of the game to "boulder-parchment-shears" for the sake of consistency, and it gets brought up in the next episode.
Episode 87: Onward to Vesrah
- Vax decides to keep an eye on Grog now that there are no gnomes. Among other things, they play a game of hide-and-seek that Grog gets distracted from (leaving Vax to fall asleep in a barrel), try to locate the ship's figurehead (which, contrary to tradition, turns out to be carved in the shape of a man), and have to rescue Vax after he accidentally falls overboard.
- While everyone else is investigating the sinking pirate boat, Taryon is busy on the other ship's deck continuously asking for a towel, afraid that his armor will rust. The crew ignores him, focused completely on watching the pirate boat.
- While Matt is whispering into Liam and Taliesin's ears, Travis goes to Matt's camera and shakes his butt in it.
- Sam suggests one of the old school two cans and a string between it so Matt can whisper without getting up, Matt then kneels at Sam's ear and whispers, "I think it's a good idea."
- While Taryon and Percy are tinkering on a tactical light of sorts, the subtext is that they are doing something very different.
- Before that, when they declare they are going to build something, Taliesin asks if they need to tell what they plan on building. Matt replies that he kind of need it to determine the DC.
- After Percy and Vex has had a heartfelt if sobering conversation about whether he heard her confession to him when he was dead, they end on this note:
Vex: You can go and play some more with Tary if you like...Percy: I'm done with Tary for the evening.Vex: Great, then you can play with me!
- Cue the laughter and Taliesin happily crossing a bottle of whiskey off his inventory.
- Marisha says that Keyleth is going to "reconnect" with Vax. Cue the innuendos.
- When Keyleth assumes a young Ashari is the Headmaster and bows to him repeatedly (while standing knee-deep in water), he makes no attempt to correct her assumption.
- After Tary helps save Keyleth, she says he can cross 'saving a damsel in distress' off his list now.
- One of Captain Adella's crewmen brings biscuits over to the prisoner Vox Machina rescued from the pirate ship, who immediately begins eating them hungrily. Marisha misunderstands what Matt was indicating and thinks the crewman was the one eating, leading the others to suggest that the crewman brought a plate full of biscuits over to the starving prisoner and then started eating them all himself just to be a dick.
- Keyleth's eagerness throughout much of the episode due to the new experience of being on a sea voyage, even during the mundane parts. And the crew's bafflement in response.
Episode 88: Tangled Depths
- The party spends a good, long time discussing making goggles and if there's anything they can construct so they can communicate underwater...only to find out later that the Water Ashari already have both of these things, and are willing to lend them some.
- After a heartwarming conversation, Vax shoots out his wings after mentioning Keyleth's curiosity about his wings, mentioning that they have one hour. Fade to feathers. Laura's reaction and Matt slowly trying to make sense of what happened is priceless.
- Doty is left behind due to fears that he'll rust if taken underwater, and instructed to take "atmospheric notes." Cue the construct beginning to write down every seagull he sees flying by.
- Trinket is let out of the necklace as backup when they enter the Plane of Water. Adorable confusion ensues.
Vex: Everything's fine! You're underwater...Trinket: It's very wet.[...]Vex: Just giving you a head's up, you might be turned into a whale later.Trinket: ...What is a whale? note
- Matt's reaction when he realizes he had the Kraken cast Lightning Storm on the group while they were electric eels.
- Grog notes that fish like shiny, sparkly things, and that Taryon is very shiny and sparkly, which causes Percy to contemplate aloud the idea of a giant sea creature trying to crack open the covering on a human before eating it, and the rest of the party to consider covering him in something non-reflective. Like tar. Or a sack. Or shit. Watch Sam's face grow increasingly unimpressed.
Tary: I don't like any of this.
- Being the last to escape, Grog decides to take the bag of holding from an unconscious Taryon and leave him behind. Percy sees this and casts Friends on Grog to get him to do the right thing. We get this exchange:
Percy: Throw the nitwit through the door!Travis: Who do I think the nitwit is?
- Vex sends her summoned shark to free an ally from the kraken's grasp. Upon realizing said ally is Taryon, she sends it after Percy instead. Tary spends most of the rest of the episode calling out to the shark for help.
Tary: Wait! Friendly shark, come back!
Episode 89: Curious Tides
- Before the session even starts, Laura smacks Travis's hand away from a plate of donuts midsentence.
- Upon gaining the ability to Shapechange, the first thing Keyleth does is transform into a goristro. She has her eyes closed when she does it, so when she open her eyes, she promptly freaks out.
- She then transforms into a beholder, and then into an adult bronze dragon; she spends the rest of the hour giving joyrides to Vox Machina and the people of Vesrah. Grog shoves a small child out of the way so he can be first in line, and takes about eight joyrides before the evening is over.
- After Keyleth turns into the bronze dragon, Vax mutters "That is really hot," under his breath.
- Keyleth hands out gifts she commissioned from Gilmore to the rest of Vox Machina as thanks for helping her complete her Aramente. She passes one out to everyone...and then, when getting to Tary, realizes the last one was meant for Scanlan. She druidcrafts him a flower as consolation. Percy, who has been tinkering with seashells, walks behind Tary and places a seashell crown on his head. "Long may you reign."
- The evening before everyone leaves Vesrah, Pike asks Doty to draw some portraits of the members of Vox Machina. It...doesn't go as planned.
Tary: Doty! She said realism! (Doty nods) Really?! How does he walk?Percy/Taliesin: With confidence and pride.
- Due to Pike's Exact Words, the members of Vox Machina all awaken at various stages in the middle of the night, aware of a sound at their windows, only to see Doty sitting there, staring and sketching.
- There are six members of Vox Machina that are sketched. There are four portraits, revealed only as Pike shows them to Tary:
- The first: Vax and Keyleth, trying to hide under their sheets with fear in their eyes.
- The second: Vex atop Percy, Percy with a look of concern and Vex with a look of "Don't you fucking dare."
- The third: Pike, her face mid-realization of her mistake.
- The fourth: Grog, posing for his portrait with his beard fluffed and his legs open. Tary notes that his nicknames of "Jumbo" and "The Big Guy" were quite accurate.
Tary: ...Can you see me all the time?Pike: ...Yes.
- The purpose of the portraits? Pike has Tary write their names next to their faces so he can use the portraits as flashcards to learn everyone's names. He has Percy's memorized already. She tells him to look at them every night before bed.
- In studying the portraits, Tary notices the recurring trend, and wonders if this is a regular Vox Machina activity in which he would take part and asks Pike if he gets to join in. She tells him to try and explore it.
- In the process of this, Pike utters the phrase "I would never tell you no" (as in, she would never tell Tary not to explore that dynamic) and immediately reconsiders her wording.
- Crossing over with Heartwarming and Tear Jerker, Grog's contribution to the resurrection ritual: with a 60+ episode Call-Back, he slaps the shit out of Vax. That is to say, his corpse. Vax is missing a tooth later.
- Much like Vex in Episode 86, Percy tries to apologise to Grog for casting Friends on him to convince him retrieve Tary... and Grog has no clue what he's talking about.
Grog: (baffled) You look so, like, constipated right now.Percy: I think you're going to punch me. [...] I just... (giving up) Have some sea shells. And a skipping rock.Grog: Ooh!Percy: I feel better.
- Later on, Percy realizes he forgot to ask for his glasses back after giving them to Grog so he could be punched without them breaking.
- Vax and Vex reading the notes in Abyssal that Percy can't read. Vax enjoys having the gift of smugness with great detail.
- Taryon's family apparently had a run-in with a certain gnomish Bard before the present day, as Tary recounts his father having to burn his bedsheets for some reason...
- Tary reflects on the previous battle:
Tary: : I have not been, ah, that close to death ever before, but I feel like I've learned something from the experience.Grog: What?*Beat*Tary: ...That's fair.
Episode 90: Voice of the Tempest
- In a moment of Black Comedy, Vox Machina realizes that they sent one of their guards to Wildmount to investigate the Briarwoods more than sixty episodes ago and completely forgot about him. Keyleth tries scrying and discovers he's almost definitely been dead for quite some time.
- As Doty was created with arcane magic, the party decides to disguise him before heading to Vasselheim. What follows is the creation of a grotesque monstrosity that almost definitely draws more attention than Doty would have. It takes just about the entire first hour of the stream.
Matt: (corpsing) At any given moment...Doty now has a secret goatee that only you know about.
- Taryon decides to make a wig out of their guard Shayne's hair...which he does by purchasing the hair from Shayne for 500 gold and then gluing it to Doty's head. He also adds a goatee.
- Percy constructs hands and a mask to disguise the metal of Doty's body. He adds them after Taryon's contribution, meaning that the mask is placed over the goatee.
- Vex contributes a cloak...the extremely valuable and powerful Cloak of Elvenkind, which promptly gets covered in glue.
- Vax tries to make a face for Doty with his disguise kit...and rolls a natural 20. He decides to make Doty resemble their old foe General Krieg. It apparently works too well, as Grog, who has been upstairs for the rest of the disguise process, immediately screams and tries to attack upon seeing him.
- Despite Vex and Vax deciding to bring the dangerous tome of necromancy to the Platinum Sanctuary, Keyleth and Percy end up carrying it with them on their research mission. After a long out-of-character discussion over exactly who has the book, Laura and Liam decide to do a Cutaway Gag from Keyleth and Percy's scene to Vex and Vax realizing they both thought the other one had it.
- Tary and Grog are sent to purchase potions. This goes more poorly than anyone could have possibly imagined.
Bastion: That's gotta be unfortunate...being so buff...and so full of leprosy.
- First, they attract the attention of a pair of Bastions. Tary attempts to divert them with a hilariously implausible story about Doty and Grog being so big because they're his bodyguards...but the guards can't get too close because they're also from a leper colony. The Bastions do not buy this for one moment.
Tary: He's...a man.
- The guards end up following them to the potion shop...run by the same merchant from episodes 22, 43, and 85. He only agrees to deal with them at all because Grog rolls a natural 20 Persuasion check.
- Doty is told to wait outside to watch for the guards. The potions merchant, disturbed upon glancing him through the window, asks who he is.
- Doty interprets the order to watch for the guards to mean he should knock them unconscious. He then drags their bodies into the shop while the potions merchant is preparing their purchase in back, leading to utter chaos.
- Grog at first tells Tary they'll have to kill everyone who sees them - which Tary agrees to - but ultimately decides to make it look as though the guards got drunk and passed out. After pouring his cask of ale all over them, he successfully intimidates Tary into attempting to vomit on them...but Tary fails to do so due to a natural 20 Constitution check. The merchant returns with their giftwrapped potions to find the Doty-monstrosity in the shop, two unconscious, ale-covered Bastions, and Tary still trying to throw up on them. They are permanently banned from the store.
- Noticing the Bastions following them, Taryon asks Grog suggestion to deal with them. Trying to conceal it, however, he switches the first letter to the last place, obtaining something that comes out as "hard gay" (Guard > Ardgay). Everyone loses it, with Sam admitting he should have chosen better words.
Episode 91: Vox Machina Go to Hell
- As disturbing as the context is, Keyleth getting buzzed from consuming a soul was pretty funny.
Taliesin: That had a name! That had a life! That had a mortgage!
- Taliesin and Travis manage to make Matt break character by giving their names as "Freddie" and "Greg". Taliesin in particular seems to take pride in it.
- The party forces Matt to make up various phrases in infernal on the spot. When he gets stuck on the word "no" they all chime in with suggestions, Liam's being "ehrmergerd". Guess what Matt decides to go with.
- Travis pranks Liam by handing over his mug to drink from, which Liam discovers is full of mayonnaise. Watch the look of confusion he develops turn to disgust.
Liam: Why does this smell like mayo...? It is mayo! That is vile!
- The party tries desperately to find someone who speaks Infernal. Taliesin says he speaks Disco, not Inferno. The puns continue throughout the session — which Taliesin says makes sense, because it's Hell.
- The group discusses what the future may hold.
Keyleth: What about you, Vex? What are you doing after we take our retirement pay?Grog: (false cough) Percy.
- The group try to figure out if all of them saw the Raven Queen back when Vax was being resurrected. When asked, Grog claims he did not.
Vex: I've been feeling like you like... lying... more than you used to.
Grog: That is not true.
Episode 92: Deals in the Dark
- Doty and Trinket armwrestle. Despite Trinket not having the arm joints, he wins. When Tary complains, Vex has Trinket pee on him on cue.
Tary: You should've put arm joints on your robot bear.
- The reason she has Trinket pee on him? Tary still doesn't believe he's a real bear. Presumably, the issue has been settled.
Vex: He's a REAL bear!
Tary: I've yet to see any evidence of that.
- Before heading out to complete their contracted assassination, Vex pulls out some food rations to share with the group—half of a boar. Since the meat is raw, she just slaps it down on the hot metal floor to cook. It works. Percy uses the barrel of his gun to sear it, even.
- Laura's wide-eyed, open-mouthed glee when guest star Tova transforms into a bear.
Episode 93: Bats out of Hell
- When fighting the Pit Fiend, Talesin mixes up the names of his target and the demon that possessed him. Cue everyone laughing about him "using the wrong name in bed."
"We've got him on tax evasion!"
- He also jokingly rifles through the Pit Fiend's files in the middle of the battle.
Episode 94: Jugs and Rods
- As the planeshift succeeds, Vox Machina finds themselves near a lonely Whitestone homestead, where a young boy witnesses their sudden appearance with awe and fear. Vex asks if he wants to pet Trinket, which the boy immediately tries to refuse, but then she sends Trinket over to lick and shoulder-check the boy anyway, to his silent horror. Marisha lampshades how once back in the material realm, the very first thing Vox Machina does is terrorize innocent townspeople.
- The Rogue/Ranger hotdog/taco nomenclature gets a callback.
- Tary somehow manages to turn a Coming-Out Story into something so funny the entire table is too consumed by laughter to properly respond for nearly a minute.
Tary: ...My father did find out.Percy: MORE LIQUOR!
- Just before that, when Tary confided that he'd only had one romance before and it ended poorly, Percy jumps immediately to the only conclusion.
- The group manages to start a Running Gag of the rest of Vox Machina gushing over how cool Vex is. Happened first in a sidetracked conversation between a drunk Vax and a very drunk Keyleth, who cry as they talk about how great she is, then when the scene cuts back to the pub with Pike and Grog, they're found in the middle of a similar drunk and weepy conversation. Then, a couple of days later, Tary is in the middle of talking to Percy over breakfast about how much he admires Vex when she walks in with her trophy from her successful first Grey Hunt.
- When Pike encourages the suggestion that Tary go to a brothel to go get laid, saying it's like a rite of passage for an adventurer, Vex looks at her in shock.
Vex: Pike, you've been to a brothel?!Pike: Well, where do you think I go when you guys leave all the time?
- At Shauna's suggestion, Trish (a member of the Paleguard) decides to shack up with Tary for the night, leading to all sorts of moments:
- First: Only moments earlier, Tary had confided in Vox Machina his interest in men.
- Second: Trish pulls Tary out of his seat so they can leave together. He isn't seen again for the rest of the night.
- Third: It isn't until the next morning that Tary staggers back into the tavern to meet a hungover Pike and Grog, where, at their insistence, he goes into the details of the night, in his usual Purple Prose way...ending his recollection with expressing how he never wants to do that again, now very assured of how he isn't attracted to women at all.
- When Shauna the barmaid (who earlier mentioned being a single mother) points out to Taryon that he was so busy quoting poetry at her that he never even asked for her name, Liam (out of character) does a Callback to Scanlan's departure:
Liam: (mimicking Scanlan's outrage) What's that mother's name!?
- The entire drunk conversation between Pike and Grog at the tavern had everyone cracking up, especially Ashley Johnson's impeccable impression of being drunk:
Pike: I'm... tired now. (everyone starts cackling) I said earlier I wasn't tired but... I do get tired...Pike: Night, Shauna. It was so nice to meet you, thank you so much for everything.
Special Episode: Liam's Quest: Full Circle
- The entire premise of the episode: it's a sequel to Liam's first apocalyptic episode, but due to the time warp, the cast is playing as themselves as children of varying ages, from teenage Marisha to seven-year-old Taliesin (who is still a warlock). There is character art.
- Laura's first reaction, without missing a beat, when she and Sam find each other and discover that they're children:
Laura: Your face is smaller, but your teeth are the same size!
- Although in theory they still have their adult minds, Travis apparently reverts to childlike terror and runs from every possible conflict, completely abandoning his friends and wife.
Travis: (bawling after seeing something gory) I haven't seen an R-rated movie at this point!
- After Laura sees Travis get killed and decides to make a break for it, Travis approves.
- It sadly doesn't last into actual combat, but Teen!Matt picks up Child!Taliesin and attempts to wield him as a weapon.
- Matt's response to rolling a Nat 20 for initiative:
Matt: I just realized that I'm sitting in Taliesin's chair.
- After seeing her take damage, Matt casts Healing Word on Marisha. Laura, having suffered really bad damage earlier, asks if Matt can heal her. Matt claims he's really spent, and Laura gives him a nasty Death Glare for several seconds.
Matt: We're all gonna die.
- Ashley's attempts to intimidate their opponents veer rapidly from teenage rebellion into hilariously horrifying madness, from picking up a dead demon-cat and tying it to her belt, to taking a bite out of said (raw) dead demon-cat, to responding to Marisha's death by wearing her ribcage as a hat.
Taliesin: (fondly) We so would've hung out.
- Taliesin's reaction to the cat-biting:
- Matt is in perfect form as his Adorkable teenage bard self. While he doesn't sing, his inspiration lines are just as memorable as Sam's.
Matt: (after the above cat-biting incident) Ashley! Continue to prove your savagery! Chew deep, and revel in the insanity of this day!
- The second half of the session opens with another mock-VO session. Sam repeats the "pickup!" gag from Liam's first one-shot and constantly starts his line over to get it right...except this time, his entire line is a scream of agony.
- During the entire VO session, everyone is still in their child forms, but no one acknowledges it. Even better is that they're playing the crew of a spaceship that's just been damaged in battle.
- Before each take, everyone does a T-pose to set the motion capture.
- In the battle in the recording studio, real-life Naughty Dog creative director Neil Druckmann is an NPC...and dies tragically. Sam leaves his picture and resume on his body.
- When Marisha is not sure about one of her class abilities, Matt immediately jumps in, taking the manual, in full DM mode, to help her. Travis lampshades it yelling "no DM-ing", and Liam replies he's not actually complaining about a little help.
- Liam's Speak & Spell robot voice has the entire cast, but especially Travis, paralyzed with laughter for over a minute when it's first revealed.
Matt: Liam, how do you spell 'farmhouse'?
- Matt does a commendable job fending off the Corpsing; at one point, he looks at Liam with eyes full of empathy and says:
- Ashley's character profile gives her name as Ash-O-Lee.
Episode 95: One Year Later...
- Over the year between episodes, Grog decided to test out the Deck of Many things by offering it to a drunk man on the streets of Vasselheim and telling him to pull a card. What card does this complete stranger pull on a random chance? The Wish card, possibly the best and most powerful card in a deck that could have easily killed him. Grog gave a totally random drunkard an unimaginably powerful gift on a whim. He in fact ends up with two wishes, so he walks away a member of the nobility of the Quad Roads, complete with clothes and a servant, with one wish still to go.
Grog: Grog, Grog Strongjaw, Maker of Kings.
Travis: It was a fucking year, did you not think this was gonna happen? It probably happened in the first week.
- The rest of the party all just sits there, mouths open in horror as they realize what Grog is doing.
Travis: (nods, before a look of horror and realization dawns as the newly minted nobleman runs off with a second wish without a pat on the back or even getting Grog's name right, calling him "Grog Strongthings") OH YOU'RE NOT SERIOUSLY — (switches back to Grog) WAIT! WHAT WAS YOUR NAME?! (as Travis) Did I get his name?
- And upon being informed by Matt of the card's draw:
Matt: (giggling) You didn't get his name.
- The insane fallout from Vax's minor prank of stealing Tary's armor while staying at a resort.
- After stealing the armor, Vax hides it in Percy's room (which he shares with Vex) to throw off suspicion. Tary, on finding the armor and assuming Percy took it, uses a "Patch of Two Mastiffs" to summon two giant dogs and leave them in the room for hours. When Percy and Vex at last return to their room, it has been torn apart and covered in excrement, and the dogs are mating on the bed. Vex initially assumes that Grog is responsible and storms into his room, dragging him out by the beard to show him the destruction. In the face of his bewilderment at the sight, she decides that Vax must be responsible, dashes over to his and Keyleth's room (interrupting their shower) and unleashes Trinket to chase him through the hallways. Ultimately Trinket pins Vax down on the beach, where Vex gives him permission to relieve himself upon her twin. It takes a very long time before Vex has any inkling Tary was even involved. Once she realizes, she enters his room (where Doty is applying a Cucumber Facial to Tary and "singing" to him), emanating Tranquil Fury, and calmly asks about his involvement. He readily confesses, not realizing that Vax tricked him, or that Vex would be caught in the crossfire. There's a moment following his realization where Vex just glowers before breaking and saying that she can't stay mad at him.
- Blink and you'll miss it amid the other chaos, but while Vex is occupied with Vax, Percy very calmly leads Keyleth over to the room with the dogs and locks her inside. She gushes over the dogs and pulls some jerky from Hammerspace ("I said it, so it's real! That's how improv works, right, Liam?") to give them so she can pet them. She rolls a 1 on animal handling, so the dogs take the jerky and bolt from the room. She instantly flips to a pouty "Fuck these dogs!" Also, when Laura questions where was she keeping the jerky, Liam reminds her she improvised hiding in a bath.
- Percy manages to convince the resort owner that they really have no idea where the dogs came from and aren't responsible for the mess. (Matt initially asks Taliesin to roll a deception check, but Taliesin points out that even assuming that they're the result of a prank, Percy genuinely doesn't know where the dogs came from. And, right after convincing Matt that it's a persuasion roll, he remembers he actually is better at deception.) The owner, while extremely apologetic, is also utterly bewildered because that breed of dog doesn't even exist in Marquet.
- Taryon entering Percy and Vex's room with a Chime of Opening, and then Sam proudly declaring now he can open any door.
- Pike opens a bakery in Whitestone with Vex, Keyleth, and Tary during the timeskip. Its name? The Slayer's Cake. They sell bear claws, blondies, Sun Treats, angel food cake, and tree bark.
- A meta-example. Sam had Scanlan's giant mug out, making viewers think they'd get to see Scanlan finally come back (or at least, see what he'd been up to over the time skip)...and then he opens the giant mug, pulls out Tary's smaller one, and goes from there.
- Percy wanted to name the new gun-toting guards of Whitestone the Musketeers, but Cassandra overruled him on grounds of silliness and named them the Riflemen. (But Percy still thinks of them as the Musketeers.)
- Over the Time Skip, Tary built a new Doty. This one can speak, but only one word. Tary, naturally enough, selected his own name.
Doty: Tary.Tary: No, that's too cruel.
- Initially, Tary chooses to interpret Doty's utterances as a variety of words that rhyme with Tary. But the things he attributes to Doty apparently evolve as time goes on, as when he asks Doty for a suggestion during the prank war:
Doty: (searching fruitlessly) Tary.Tary: (outraged) What do you mean, "Tary?"
- There's also his reaction when his armor goes missing and he demands that Doty find it:
- The fact that Grog's growing literacy is so strictly defined by D&D rules. He can read one sentence over a short rest.
- When preparing the dinner for the Trickfoots, Vex orders them (as a lady) not to use the best food, since she fears they're taking advantage of Pike. Then Tary comes in and orders to use the best they have, overriding Vex's orders using Luck, so the thoroughly-annoyed cooks throw away what they were making and start working again. After a discussion between Tary and Vex about the Trickfoots, Grog goes in the kitchen, giving them his menu. The staff sigh, then obey the Grand Poobah's orders, throwing away their half-made food and start working on yet another dinner.
Episode 96: Family Matters
- Grog's tour guide hat.
- Vox Machina's tendency to assault old people returns... but this time the old person in question deserves it.
- Ashley ends the episode on the most clutch Brick Joke to ever grace the series:
Vex: Oh, and Johann?Johann: Uh, yes?Vex: Stay away from those sweets.Johann: ...Alright...Pike: There actually is a curse on our family. It's called diabetes.
- When asking Wilhand about the person who retrieved Fassbender, Wilhand tries to describe him, and Vex asks, "Was he kind of a dick?" Wilhand doesn't quite seem to catch her meaning, so Keyleth happily clarifies, "A penis!"
Episode 97: Taryon, My Wayward Son
- Sam does his weekly shout-out to the sponsor In the Style of... an infomercial. Taliesin and Marisha turn out to unexpectedly be in on the bit, Taliesin whipping out a bundle of cords and being uncharacteristically hammy in the role of the Too Incompetent to Operate a Blanket guy, while Marisha is The Vamp. It ends with them asking Sam to repeat the URL over and over again until he admits that, in true Monty Python style, he didn't write an ending.
- Within the first twenty minutes of the episode, Keyleth jumps off a cliff and into the water to help Vex retrieve the diamond Ogden dropped. Reality Ensues, she misses the water, and she dies on impact with the rocks, which also ends up being her first death in the campaign.
- This is made even funnier because, in an attempt to mitigate the damage, she tries to use beast shape. You'd expect that she turns into something that could slow the fall, like a bird. Instead, she decides to transform into a goldfish in a last-minute panic.
Sam: Goldfish are not...magnetically attracted to water.
- Sam's commentary on that decision (after Marisha attempts to explain that she thought a goldfish would land in the water):
- The sheer tonal contrast between this and the rest of Vox Machina's deaths makes it even better. No one can keep from laughing, least of all Marisha.
- This is made even funnier because, in an attempt to mitigate the damage, she tries to use beast shape. You'd expect that she turns into something that could slow the fall, like a bird. Instead, she decides to transform into a goldfish in a last-minute panic.
Episode 98: The Mines of the Many
- Grog's attempts at flirting with a female goliath musician.
- Keyleth gives an "inspiring" speech to Vox Machina to bolster their resolve before the boss fight... and it involves bacon.
- "Life needs aloe to live", followed by poor Taliesin doubled over the table.
- Liam's Rogue abilities turn a poor Stealth check into a good one, and his glee is something to behold.
Liam: (practically cackling) I rolled a 2, but it's a 37!
Special Episode: Battle Royale III
- The sheer schadenfreude of Taliesin Jaffe, God of Dice, rolling multiple nat 1s and 2s and getting eliminated first of the PCs.
- Vex traps Grog in the necklace, so he attacks the interior of the necklace - and breaks out.
- Everyone's faces when they realize it's down to Tary and Grog.
- With 1 hitpoint left, Grog decides to draw from the Deck of Many Things - five times. To everyone's increasing bewilderment (Travis included), not only does he avoid being horribly cursed, but he gets a nifty weapon, a knight companion to help him fight and extra hitpoints.
- One of the cards he draws is Rogue (turns an ally against you), and Matt describes the hypothetical scenario of Grog returning from the battle to be backstabbed by Uncle Wilhand.
- Tary's plan for the battle? Use the Force Sphere made to imprison enemies on himself, suffering 5d4 of damage, and have Doty carry him around while the others kill each other. He doesn't even get his next turn before the sphere is taken from Doty and thrown around like a rubber ball. The fact that it actually worked might make it even funnier.
Episode 99: Masquerade
- Jon Heder guests as a Half-Orc Bard/Barbarian (a Bardbarian, if you will), Lionel "Chod" Gayheart, and every moment of his is pure gold.
- Even Sam, who is one of the best at keeping his composure during comedic moments, is doubled over in laughter for most of his backstory.
- Lionel's chosen path as a Barbarian is Totem of the Duck. He helpfully explains that he was sent downriver in a basket as a baby, somehow ending up in a desert oasis, where his earliest memories are of ducks. Desert ducks.
- Even better, he uses his "Commune With Ducks" ability near the end of the episode, which leads to Matt Mercer doing an impressive duck imitation.
- Grog picks a fistfight with Lionel. Lionel responds by grinding on Grog, who is so nonplussed that he immediately walks away from the fight.
- After the fistfight (brought on suddenly by Grog punching Lionel in the face), Lionel goes to drink his chocolate milk...only to have it knocked from his hand by Pike leaping up and punching him in the face. Later, Keyleth decides to teach him to play boulder-parchment-shears; they both count to three...and Lionel punches Keyleth in the face.
- Keyleth uses rock fists (boulders) and heats Lionel's armour (shears), and then Percy unleashes his lightning attack on him. None of that causes more than mild discomfort and perplexity for Lionel, who doesn't realize any of them actually attacked him. After Lionel brushes the lightning off as "tickling", Percy remarks that it never seems to work properly.
- When Lionel mentions that he had a crush on Kaylie before he found out that she was Scanlan's daughter, Percy dryly comments "You're not the first."
- When Scanlan is found out by Vex, he tries to cast a spell on her, which she attempts to interrupt. Both parties roll a natural one on their contested check, and Matt rules that they flail clumsily at each other before unceremoniously getting tangled up and falling over.
- Amidst the whirlwind of emotions brought on by Scanlan's return, Matt gleefully notes that since Taryon hasn't left yet, Sam will have to play two characters at once. Very abruptly, Tary "has to go check on Doty" and leaves the scene.
- The button Jon Heder puts on the final scene in the episode. Pike gives Scanlan a bag of "Shorties" (cookies from the Slayer's Cake named after him) as part of a guilt trip. After just a second of awkward silence, Lionel exclaims "Cookies!", grabs a handful, and stuffs his face.
Episode 100: Unfinished Business
- Sam's opening shill to the sponsor? Quizzing Taliesin, the "King of Comic Books", with a rapid-fire list of names, and Taliesin has to guess whether the name is a Marvel Comics character or a yoga position. It actually manages to be a brainteaser!
- When Grog and Pike are trying to fight off the horde of skeletons by themselves to impress Scanlan, Lionel shows up to help. He proceeds to roll natural 20s on both of his attacks that round. Grog responds with a Reckless attack on a skeleton, and even with advantage, rolls a natural 1 on both of his attack rolls.
Episode 101: Thar Amphala
- The party suggests Taryon ask Scanlan if Lionel can join his group. He does.
- While everyone else is trying to prepare or find out what exactly they are dealing with, Grog goes to the Whitestone kitchens and asks for "A salad with meat in it." The kitchen staff interpret this as a salad entirely made of meat, which overjoys Grog.
- The funnier part is that the lovely nutrition nerds at CritRoleStats calculated the nutritional value of the meat salad, which Grog named GoFiBePo. 
- The spontaneous creation of Larry the Chalice Collector after a snarky comment from Liam about Matt's latest NPC sounding just like his old school's crossing guard.
- After using Dominate Mind on a one-eyed cultist for information, the spell wears off and their prisoner will answer no more questions. Grog pokes his other eye out. What really sells it? Grog asks "How many middle fingers am I holding up?"
Episode 102: Race to the Tower
- At the beginning of the episode during announcements, the cast all whip out their Stan Lee impressions. Sam thinks Liam's sounds more like Gilbert Gottfried.
- Keyleth uses the Gust power as an oscillating fan. Mercer snarks that Level 18 druids are very impressive: timeless body, oscillating fan, sprinkler system...
- After a lengthy planning session, the players note the vacant expression on Matt's face. Taliesin theorizes that he's fantasizing about the other people he could be playing D&D with right now.
- Vox Machina gets closer to tower by putting on cultists' cloacks. That are all for Medium creature. While Grog is still fine thanks to an illusion they cast, Pike and Scanlan are still Small creatures. So they make a Totem Pole Trench. As if that wasn't enough, Scanlan uses Mythcarver to make one arm, and Liam notice it marks the third time Scanlan used the sword.
Taliesin: It has gone from exalted to ashamed.
Cultist: The Undying King also takes the... special ones under his wing.
- And when they meet another cultist, Scanlan decides to speak with him for no discernible reason, forcing him to roll a Deception check they would have otherwise avoided. And succeds.
- Coming at a very dark moment (like most of the humor in this episode), there's Liam's response when Vax is targeted by Delilah Briarwood's Disintegrate:
Delilah: (to Keyleth) You took him from me. I'm now going to take him from you.
- In a similar moment of black comedy, Travis comments that while they're fighting for their lives Tary is likely just enjoying a drink. Then Sam chimes in with a comment that crosses into Tear Jerker:
Sam: No, Tary is on the floor weeping and holding his necklace. note
- Vecna's reaction to Scanlan's counterspell.
- Scanlan's attempt to rickroll Vecna. Sadly, it fails.
Episode 103: The Fate-Touched
- Vax recalls that Vex used to give him wet willies in Abyssal class when they were children as an attempt to get her to believe that he's really himself after the Raven Queen resurrects him.
- Scanlan and Grog split off from the group in an attempt to track down the man who randomly pulled the Wish card from the Deck of Many Things, hoping he'll remember Grog and agree he owes him a favor. Instead, they happen to walk past one of the guards that Doty knocked out and Grog further assaulted when Tary and Grog explored Vasselheim alone. Said guard then manages to roll a very high perception check and comes over to try to get Grog arrested, while all the while Scanlan has no idea what's going on because Tary was there last time, not him.
- On hearing a vague description of Doty (or rather the horrifically disguised version of Doty who knocked out the guards), Scanlan attempts to distract the guards by creating an image of a giant furious metal man and claiming he's come back for more. It nearly works, but the guards manage to roll two natural 20s to see through Scanlan's absurdly high Deception.
- Grog doesn't miss a beat and, upon seeing the illusion that looks nothing like Doty, immediately claims it to be its latest transformation.
- Scanlan trying to convince the guard that attacking the creature will only make it stronger, and the only solution is walk away in different directions. As written above, it didn't work.
- Grog then panics and punches the guard again, prompting Scanlan to polymorph him into a giant eagle and fly away (as every single guard fires crossbow bolts at them) and then flee further through the city invisibly.
- The best part of this subplot is that the entire chain of events started when Grog accidentally overpaid a potions merchant in episode 22, and now, more than eighty episodes later, Grog and Scanlan may never be able to show their faces in Vasselheim again.
- Early in the scene, Grog tries to fool the guards into thinking he's someone else. What does he roll on Deception? Negative one.
- Before everything went downhill, they were discussing how to proceed to meet their target. Scanlan offers Grog to use his Hat of Disguise, which can alter his appearance however he wants. Grog refuses, saying the guy remembers his face, and chastises Scanlan for the stupid idea. Then he asks Scanlan if he has anything that can make it look like what he's pretending to be, prompting an extremely annoyed Scanlan to repeat that he has: a hat that can alter Grog appearance however he wants. It takes half a minute for the table (and Matt) to recover from the laughter.
- After Scanlan is nearly compelled to gouge out his own eye by the magical eyeball they took from Delilah's body, and Pike knocks the eye away and it begins burrowing into the dirt:
Scanlan: I don't trust that thing.
Scanlan: Argh! Why does my eye hurt so much?!
- Latter on, after a all the discussions, events, and a night spent in the Feywild, the party returns to the Material Plane, which means Wisdom saving throws to see if anyone suffers the amnesia inducing effect of the Feywild. Grog and Scanlan both fail theirs, leading both to spontaneously freakout upon seeing Vax alive and in their midst, since their last unclouded memory involved Vax being destroyed in the previous battle, which the party had just calmed down about only a few minutes before. In a panic, Scanlan tries to use his whip to attack Vax, only to roll a Critical Failure on his attack and ends up whipping himself in the same eye he tried to gouge out the night before. Which he also forgot about.
- Much of the second half of the episode becomes funnier when you realize that Vax is walking around Vasselheim and then the Fields of Elysium with no pants.
Episode 104: Elysium
- Keyleth speaks to a tree and rolls a Natural 1, so the tree turns out to be amazingly ornery, considering it's a tree. Taliesin remarks that it's a great tree with tons of shade.
- Grog is intent on eating some Elysian fruit. Percy tries to talk him out of it by saying "I dare you not to eat it." Grog ate it anyway, so Matt made him take a Wisdom saving throw.
Episode 105: The Fear of Isolation
- Darin De Paul guest stars as Sprigg, an elderly gnome. Almost everything he does qualifies as off-the-wall bonkers hilarity, the least of which is being an incorrigible Pungeon Master.
- Matt gets in on the fun as Demistrik, an imp who's lived with Sprigg for 19 years and argues with him like they're an old married couple.
- The big obvious trap in the middle of Sprigg's floor is triggered during the battle by Vax, who knew where it was but threw Whisper right on top of it. What did it summon? A Beholder... illusion.
- Percy sees Ioun's library and instantly goes kid-in-a-candy-store. Doubled because all the books are in Celestial, which he reads. Doubled again when he summarizes a few of the recorded lives within for everyone else as "Birth. Death. Sex. Birth. Death. Disappointment."
- Then we shift to Grog, that describes being surrounded by nothing but books as far as eye can see as his "worst case scenario".
- Scanlan remembered what Percy said to Pelor about Vex last episode and started tooting a wedding march on his flute. That one not-so-innocent gesture caused Keyleth to lose her temper and Percy to panic-activate Diplomacy's Silence function, leaving Taliesin, Laura, and Sam to mime yelling at each other for a couple minutes.
Episode 106: The Endless Atheneeum
- During the opening announcements, the new Critical Role Pencil set is unveiled as a new item available for the Geek and Sundry store page. Each pencil has a famous phrase from each of the cast members etched on them, including the ever popular "How do you want to do this?". Matt immediately points out the hilarity of the existentialism as someone uses any of the pencils, causes the phrases to drastically change in tone as it becomes shortened.
"Do you want to do this?"
"You want to do this?"
"Want to do this?"
"To do this?"
- Sprigg tries telling Ioun a joke. She actually chuckles.
Sprigg: Knock knock!Ioun: ...Who's there?Sprigg: You'd know!(later)Vax: So who was it?
- Vecna appearing behind the cast of Vox Machina following his ascension to godhood? Horrifying. Grog reacting by screaming like a little girl and brandishing his battleaxe? Hilarious.
Episode 107: Scaldseat
- VM can breath water, but the air is poisonous. To move around more easily Grog gets the idea of filling the Alchemy Jug with water.
Matt: You guys are water-bonging your way through an underwater volcano. If that's not Vox Machina, I don't know what is.
- Boulder-Parchment-Shears returns, with Vex and Percy playing it over the right to not have Pike's Death Ward cast on them, as both wished the other to have the protection. Vex wins, and Pike casually mentions she can cast it on four of them.
- Scanlan's inspiration to Grog was "Happy Birthday", as it was Travis's birthday, but with every word replaced with "Happy".
- Vax and Keyleth began the episode with a heart-to-heart discussion about accepting Vax's mortality, then managed to slip in a Take That! to all of the Trolls who whine online about their poor choices.
- Santy, Shore Shanty, and "She sells seashells" were being combined into ever-funnier tongue twisters.
- Marisha's voice was hoarse from illness, so she did an interpretive dance for her Inspiring Leader speech.
- Taliesin's low, rumbling burp at a very tense point makes Travis jump and look around nervously, hearing it as a ghostly growl from an unexpected direction.
- Scanlan turning into a Planetar is awesome during the fight, hilarious afterwards while he uses his angelic powers (including mind-reading and seeing through any lie) just to mess around with others and show off.
Episode 108: The Core Anvil
- Taliesin spilled his coffee all over his dice tray and artifact cards.
10 points of coffee damage.
- Matt rolls a glut of 2s and 3s for the giant stone golem.
Matt: Jesus Christ...Liam: I don't think that demigod exists in this campaign.
Episode 109: The Ominous March (LIVE)
- Although everyone at the live show is dressed normally, Sam Riegel comes in wearing something different. As in wearing a familiar skintight yellow jumpsuit with a box over his crotch. And he wears this throughout the entire show.
- Taryon's gift to Vax is finally revealed: a Philter of Love. Vax tells Grog that it was meant to be drunk by the goliath, but that he'd far rather prank Scanlan with it. Thus, it's poured into Scanlan's wine, sending the bard into a frenzy of lust towards Percival. Flirting, touching, and an attempted Mage Hand follow, all thwarted by Vex's jealousy and passive Perception. Bedtime comes, and Scanlan sneaks into Percy's bed... only to find Vex there as well because they're married and it isn't the 1950s... with a Stealth roll of 8.
Percy: [producing the ball of chains without looking] Manners.
Liam: Sam Riegel gave me a bullet to kill Travis Willingham, and I have turned the gun back on Sam. And soon it will be my turn to die.
- Bonus points for exiting through the main door instead of the secret tunnels, triggering a bucket trap filled with flour.
- After joining a meeting in Vasselheim, Vex'ahlia is given a ring by Highbearer Vord that is supposed to protect the party from being spied upon by Vecna. Shortly after that, Vecna shows up in illusory form in order to taunt the assembled group. Immediately after that scene:
- While they're waiting for Vex to attune to the ring, the party can't speak out loud about their battle plan against Vecna. So instead, they begin half-heartedly talking about how they're definitely not going to be doing anything. They jokingly suggest going shopping, leaving to be with their families, and even to convert to worshipping Vecna. Grog, not having any idea what's going on, is somewhat disturbed by this.
Grog: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!?
- The team trying to stay confident, despite their increasing terror as they realize they're going to face not only Vecna but a Godzilla-sized undead primordial titan. For example:
Grog: If it bleeds, we— we're gonna DIE.
Vex: Pike, how strong are you feeling right now?Pike (as played by Matt): (faintly) I dunno...Grog: It's alright, buddy!Vex: You're a monstah!Pike: (nearly crying) I'm a monstah! (beat) It's also a monstah!
- Laura has the sudden realisation of Vecna's plan several minutes after the rest of the group. Liam's response?
Liam: And his name was Larkin!
Episode 110: The Climb Within
- The players are all a little sleep deprived and it's making the cast particularly giggly.
- Laura notes that she really, really needs a cup of coffee. Shortly after, somebody comes up behind her and gives her one.
Laura: I didn't think anybody was gonna do it, really.
Sam: I want ice cream!
Matt: I want a pony!
- Travis forgets the word "subtraction," referring to it as "reverse math"
Travis: Shit, I can't do reverse mathSam: You mean subtraction?Everyone at the table collapses in laughter
- Pike gets both HDYWTDTs, yet Ashley isn't participating this episode.
One-Shot: Bar Room Blitz!
- Sam as DM is always ramping up the humor.
- Notably, he put double-digit NPCs in his first map ever as DM. Not a smart move, but oh so funny.
- The bar's name: Ass Sailor. The "C" and "R" fell off because this isn't Critical Role.
- Kingston's attraction to Clothesline leads to...unfortunate moments
Kingston: I'm not saying I have a type, but my preferred terrain is a litter box.
Clothesline: You are this close from a claw in your goddamn eye Kingston. So choose the next few words carefully!Kingston: Catnip and chill?Ashly: Can I attack Kingston?
- Kingston also provokes the first attack roll by hitting on Clothesline
- Frankfurt demanding his "one courier pigeon" and demanding to speak with his lawyer.
- Mary has the best way of saying "kitty kitty kitty".
- Mary switches from a posh speaking lady to a uncouth person from Joisey whenever Gryffin has a Wild Magic surge.
- Brian doesn't care as long as he can hit Frankfurt - and Frankfurt's dice are blessed, making all the bard's spells miss.
- The moment Liam brags about not having taken any damage the entire fight, Ashly scores two critical hits on Jayne. Liam's reaction to the second nat20 is what sells it:
Liam: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? GET OUT OF THIS BUILDING, GET OUT OF THIS BUILDING.
- Kingston hates Frankfurt because he slept with his wife. Clothesline hates Jayne because she's crazy, dangerous and almost killed her. Frankfurt hates Jayne because she is a follower of the Chained Oblivion, and that cult wiped out Frankfurt's village, leading to him swearing an oath of revenge. When they reach the boss fight, they basically spent a lot of their resources and took heavy damage fighting themselves, and keep doing it and only Gryffin is actually fighting the boss. Sam lampshades it.
- Kingston and Gryffin talking about Kingston's book. One of the most notables is Doors: The Idiot's Enemy.
- Upon hearing how many dice worth of damage she is about to receive, Ashly starts singing "Amazing Grace." Mary immediately joins in for the harmonies, and impressively keeps up even when Ashly improvises the lyrics:
Both: I have three / hit points / Just three / hit points / I am / about / to dieeee...
Episode 111: Shadows of Thomara
- Scanlan used his unseen servant (dubbed Simon 2) to steal a magic stone from a group of undead. The stone's only purpose was to distract undead, and Simon 2 only had a speed of 10 feet per round. But it somehow worked!
Episode 112: Dark Dealings
- Pike showed her penis to the viewers.
- The return of Artagan. Marisha was complaining that she had to go home with Matt after how utterly weird things became.
Travis: AMAZING! OHH MY GOD!Sam: He's into autoerotic asphyxiation?!
- How weird? As part of a two-part bargain with Vox Machina, Artagan agreed to help the party... if he could strangle Vax to death. The sheer joy in Travis's face - and disbelief in Sam and Liam's faces - have to be seen to be believed
Episode 113: The Final Ascent
- The combination of Fenthras and an Animate Dead spell ended up much funnier than it had any right to be, with Matt noting how the third corpse of Delilah Briarwood was having trouble balancing and that a tree was poking Arkhan.
- "Clarota Healing" gets a 110 Episode Callback, but Sam describes it as Scanlan 2, only knowing the songs that have already been sang, with little of the emotion that Scanlan Prime has.
Shadow of War One-Shot
- Sam's description of a stunning strike is amazing.
Sam: Knowing my medical knowledge that I know so well, I hit him where I know it will hurt the most—the wang!
Episode 114: Vecna, The Ascended
- After banishing Vecna, Arkhan takes the Hand of Vecna that was left behind, cuts off his own hand, attaches Vecna's to the stump, and teleports away, just like that.
Liam: SEE YOU NEXT CAMPAIGN!
- As Zahra and Kash plummet to the ground from Vecna's Hold Monster, Mary shouts "At least the baby will survive!" No one knows if she's joking or not.
- The group realizes that Scanlan has low Wisdom and wonders why they never made fun of that more.
Episode 115: The Chapter Closes
- At the end of the episode, Grog pulls a card from the Deck of Many Things. He draws The Void, a card which immediately steals his soul from his body and imprisons it within an object of the DM's choice, guarded by "one or more powerful creatures". As this happened in the middle of the epilogue, this prompts a very inconvenient two-week detour to the extraplanar Windswept Depths of Pandemonium to retrieve and restore his soul; a jaunt treated by everyone (especially Matt) as more tedious than difficult given that every member of Vox Machina is 19th or 20th level by this point. (Needless to say, Grog's Deck is confiscated.)
Keyleth: I should be mourning right now, and [instead] I'm hunting your stupid ass down!
- After finding out that Zahra and Kash are in fact having a baby together, Keyleth drops Kash none-too-gently, but sets Zahra down very carefully. Kash admits that he probably deserved that.
- After Keyleth is unsuccessful at Scrying on Sylas Briarwood due to him making the necessary saves, Laura suggests instead using Locate Object on his pants. Matt actually has to stop and check the fine print on that spell, and when this is also unsuccessful, he mimes Sylas removing a pair of tearaway pants.
- A few members of Vox Machina send up celebratory signals to let the people below know Vecna has been defeated and sealed away. Percy and Vex send up gold and purple flares, Keyleth uses Skywrite, and Scanlan? Well, he pulls out the gun he took more than 40 episodes prior.
- Much to Taliesin's chagrin, Sam proceeds to roll a natural 20 on the shot followed by a 28 performance check for gun spinning tricks.