Characters / Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality

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    Harry James Potter-Evans-Verres/The Boy-Who-Lived/General Chaos 

  • Ancient Tradition: Harry is shocked to find out that the motto of the Potter family is "The last enemy that shall be destroyed is Death," meaning the entire line has been trying to figure out resurrection/immortality since the Peverell brothers.
    Harry: [tearfully] How? Things like that can't just be, be genetic
  • Awesome by Analysis: Harry has a very strong tendency to explicitly look for flaws to exploit, thinking outside the box, taking the perspective no-one ever tried. His plans are both shameless and ridiculously audacious as a result.
  • Badass Boast: To Lucius Malfoy.
    What kills Dark Lords, terrifies Dementors and owes you sixty thousand galleons?
  • Badass Bookworm: Doubly so. A wizard AND a scientist.
  • The Chessmaster: Unquestionably, but he's still too inexperienced to take it to the level of Dumbledore and Quirrell, and is often admonished for meddling without realizing the stakes involved. And when Quirrell finally shows his true colors, Harry is thoroughly out-gambitted, leading to the defeat of Dumbledore, Voldemort getting the Philosopher Stone necessary to get a new body, and allowing Voldemort to kill him whenever he wants.
  • Child Prodigy: To the nth degree, although not in the sense of innate magical power as might have been expected - to Harry's own disappointment. He has managed to create two spells that do things the Wizarding world considers flatly impossible, though.
  • Chronic Hero Syndrome: As he put it, "When I hear a voice raised in desperate prayer it makes me feel guilty for not being god." Worse, absolutely everyone knows this about him.
  • Confusion Fu: Harry isn't just gratuitously unpredictable, he is also very efficient about it.
  • Deadpan Snarker: Harry is not very patient with what he perceives as stupidity, and will violently mock it, especially if it gets people hurt.
  • Determinator: Heroic responsibility means you have to get the job done no matter what.
  • Did You Just Punch Out Cthulhu?: Harry is apparently the only wizard in history to have killed a dementor.
  • Ditzy Genius: Deconstructed. He's eleven years old, biologically immature, and doesn't have the experience to make the best use of his intelligence socially.
  • Encyclopaedic Knowledge: His (foster) father is an Oxford professor, his house is full of books, and he is intensely curious and has the intelligence to assimilate the knowledge. Do the math.
  • For Science!: Actually, for Humanity and/or for Truth, but Harry thinks Science is essential to serve the first and find the second.
  • Freudian Excuse: Harry has a suspicious lack of one, bewildering McGonagall, as some of his behavior would imply an abusive childhood.
    • And subverted, because Harry did have an abusive childhood — Tom Riddle's. He just doesn't remember it.
  • Gone Horribly Right: Unlike in canon, Voldemort turned Harry into a horcrux intentionally, intending to pass on some of his power and intelligence in an effort to overwrite Harry's mind with his own and so make Harry a mini-me. This results in a Harry that ends up defeating Voldemort (and 37 Death Eaters) and finding a way around the whole horcrux thing in his first year.
  • Genre Savvy: When McGonagall tells Harry what really happened to his parents (Harry had been raised by his aunt and uncle with no explanation), Harry starts asking her which plot hooks might be left dangling, frequently making analogies to The Lord of the Rings.
  • Grin of Audacity: He's usually represented with these in fanart. You can feel it in the text too, but they get much rarer after The Azkaban Incident: Harry goes grim.
  • Guile Hero/Manipulative Bastard: He has the goals of a guile hero and the tactics of a magnificent bastard.
  • Happily Adopted: Unlike canon, Petunia Evans-Verres and her husband Michael Verres-Evans raised Harry in a nurturing, loving environment and they love each other dearly.
  • The Hero: At least, that is how Dumbledore thinks of him.
  • Horrible Judge of Character: Subverted, Deconstructed and ultimately played straight in his friendship with Quirrell.
  • Hypocrite: Harry explaining what cognitive biases others are falling for after demonstrating them gloriously and at great length himself is practically a Running Gag. For example he rather patronizingly explains to Neville that only Neville himself blames Neville for Hermione's death and he isn't responsible, after spending the preceding chapters blowing off all such reassurances from basically everyone in his life.
  • Immortality Seeker: Harry seeks immortality not just for himself, but for humanity as a whole.
  • Innocence Lost: Harry becomes much more cynical after the Azkaban episode.
    And Harry just looked at the Defense Professor with cool eyes that would never flinch from anything; not even death, now. He was no longer in Azkaban, no longer fearful of the part of himself that was fearless; and the solid gemstone that was Harry had rotated to meet the stress, turning smoothly from one facet to another, from light to darkness, warm to cold.
  • Innocently Insensitive: Harry acts this way every so often, notably towards Snape's past. He learns his lesson.
  • Insufferable Genius: "I'm smarter and I know it. [wiggles]".
  • Intelligence Equals Isolation: Amongst muggle children, anyway. He's too involved with events in the wizarding world for it to manifest at Hogwarts, and it never actually bothered him anyway. Hilariously invoked by himself to get rid of Ron.
    "See? You have to be this smart to talk to me."
  • Knight in Sour Armor: He realizes that the wizarding world is full of some really nasty people, but he still wants to do good and change it for the better. This is implied to be one of the ways that Dumbledore believes Voldemort to be his dark mirror; both Voldemort and Harry believe there aren't inherent moral principles, but Voldemort is a nihilist who acts For the Evulz, whereas Harry is this trope.
  • Large Ham: At age eleven, he talks like a book. And that's when he's being low key. When he tries to be a ham, it's spectacular.
  • The Leader: He leads the Chaos Legion primarily as a type 1 with a bit of type 4.
  • Master of the Mixed Message: Best exemplified in this ramble to Hermione:
    "I really didn't mean most of that the way it sounded! I'm sure that anyone taking the outside view of the whole situation and offering betting odds on who I finally married would assign a higher probability to you than anyone else I can think of -
    -though not necessarily a probability higher than fifty percent, I mean, from the outside view there's a lot of other possibilities, and who I like before I hit puberty probably isn't all that strongly diagnostic of who I'll be with seven years later - I don't want to sound like I'm promising anything -
    -and besides I've been reading about evolutionary psychology, and, well, there are all these suggestions that one man and one woman living together happily ever afterward may be more the exception rather than the rule, and in hunter-gatherer tribes it was more often just staying together for two or three years to raise a child during its most vulnerable stages - and, I mean, considering how many people end up horribly unhappy in traditional marriages, it seems like it might be the sort of thing that needs some clever reworking - especially if we actually do solve immortality -"
  • Magnificent Bastard: In-universe. In chapter 4, Griphook is noted to be "favoring Harry with a gaze of frank respect, possibly even outright admiration" as Harry persuades McGonagall to let him withdraw more and more money.
  • Memetic Badass: In-universe.
  • Wrong Genre Savvy: Harry's references to The Lord of the Rings often neglect to criticize the actual logic behind what seems like obvious plot points in his own Hero's Journey. He is also mortified to discover that his "Mysterious Dark Side" does not have any awesome magical powers.
  • You Keep Using That Word: As much as he talks up the philosophy, his approach isn't even similar to science beyond his first few experiments. To be expected, since he considers himself a rationalist first and foremost; the scientific method is empirical. He doesn't follow the scientific method so much as he thinks really hard about things until he gets an answer, which always works unless he missed something.
  • Young Conqueror: Quirrell is trying to groom him into the darker sort. Harry, himself, hasn't decided if this is going to be necessary, and he'd rather revolutionize by example to avoid casualties.

    Hermione Jean Granger 

  • Action Girl: She invokes this when she starts her society for female heroes, but even before that it's played straight as she takes action whenever someone she cares about is in trouble.
  • Back from the Dead: She dies and is brought back to life.
  • Badass Bookworm: More of a classic example than Guile Hero Harry.
    Hermione Granger's bed was easy to identify; it was the one that had been attacked by a book monster.
  • Beware the Nice Ones: Under her conditioning to be a "good girl" and her nice bookworm reputation, she's quite devious, has an envious streak, can be plenty mean when she's upset.
    Draco was beginning to realize, when he and Harry and Professor Quirrell had dismissed Miss Granger as having as much intent to kill as a bowl of wet grapes, they'd never seen her angry.
  • Came Back Strong: During her resurrection she is given the latent magical traits of a troll and a unicorn.
  • Child Prodigy: A more traditional sort than Harry, being exceptionally studious and driven to memorizing all her textbooks. Her determination towards academic excellence keeps her ahead of Harry in schoolwork and pleasing teachers, but has more difficulty with practical situations, especially at first.
  • Distressed Damsel: Though usually very capable, she finds herself unable to act when held on trial by the Wizengamot.
  • Family-Unfriendly Death: Her lower half was eaten by a troll.
  • Friendly Rival: She and Harry have a bit of competition going on about who can earn more house points and do better in class (hint: she tends to win), and this escalates even more when they're both generals of their student armies.
  • Friendly Target: It is implied that twice, the villain goes after her to strike at Harry.
  • Genre Savvy: Hermione does frame events around her as if she were in a story, but she's more often seen trying to convince Harry that he isn't in a story, and that he should stop trying to be.
  • Incorruptible Pure Pureness: After reviving she radiates an aura of innocence and purity.
  • The Leader: Type 2. She listens to the members of her army and of the club she starts, and takes what they say into account when making decisions.
  • Meta Guy: She's all too aware of how so many events around the school seemingly revolve around Harry, and takes efforts to not become merely a character in Harry's story.
  • Morality Chain: One of several for Harry.
  • Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot: By the end of the fic she's part troll and part unicorn, in addition to being brought back from the dead.
  • The Not-Love Interest: Harry and Hermione ultimately decide that they are not in love, just close friends.
  • Overshadowed by Awesome: She quickly gets frustrated and worried that her accomplishments aren't recognized as those of Hermione Granger but as those of Harry Potter's friend. Later in the year, she worries that she and Harry are growing apart, as she's still thinking about schoolwork and house points and he's got a war on his mind... so she decides to push herself harder to become an actual hero.
  • Photographic Memory: She wishes she had this. At least she can remember exactly anything she reads five times.
  • Sacrificial Lion: Just to show how evil the enemy is, he has a troll eat the legs of a twelve-year-old girl so she can bleed out through the stumps.
  • Wrong Genre Savvy: Early on, she intentionally tries to frame her relationship with Harry in romantic novel terms, because then it's perfectly natural for them to be bickering with each other and it doesn't mean she's at all evil or mean-spirited, right?

    Antony Goldstein 

    Padma Patil 

  • Action Girl: One that doesn't sit around and look pretty.
  • Dark Action Girl: She's played up as Malfoy's most important lieutenant, and later joins S.P.H.E.W.
  • Bastard Understudy: Possible Guile Hero understudy to Harry.
  • The Dragon: By the end of the first term she replaces Crabbe and Goyle as this for Draco Malfoy, at least within Dragon Army.
  • Ship Tease: With Draco.
  • Sibling Yin-Yang: Invoked. She hates being too similar to her twin.
  • Twin Switch: She gets "assassinated" by her twin who then masquerades as her during the very complicated pre-Christmas battle.


    Draco Malfoy 

  • Anti-Villain: His goal may be power, but at some point he realizes he just has too much empathy to be the sadistic bastard he wants to be.
  • Evil Chancellor: His family's dynasty basically revolves around being this.
  • A Father to His Men: Strange as it may seem, Dragon army is able to trust and rely on their commander. When Crabbe and Goyle find their friendship with Draco getting into the way of following their orders from their parents, Draco tells them he won't get angry, no matter what they do.
  • Friendly Rival: He is a friendly rival to Harry until he gets pulled out of school.
  • Genre Savvy: Draco likes to compare his own behaviour to the heroes in the opera/play performances that his father takes him to see.
  • Good Feels Good: Played with, since he was raised on Bad Is Good and Good Is Bad. Even if he starts to reform, "good" acts feel terrible because he was raised to be cunning and to be feared.
  • Greek Chorus: During Self-Actualization, since he's not an active participant in the events of the story he spends most of it correctly guessing how the events around S.P.H.E.W. will end up, when he's not reflecting on how he's the only sane person at Hogwarts.
  • Heel–Face Turn: When Draco learns that wizards are not losing their powers because of interbreeding with muggles, he starts to come around to Harry's view even after having a Rage Against the Mentor moment followed by a Heroic B.S.O.D..
  • Internal Reformist: Harry sets him up to be this over time.
  • The Leader: Type 4, he really knows how to play his dignity as a noble for leadership.
  • Missing Mom: Narcissa is dead in this continuity. According to Draco, Dumbledore burned her to death. It later turns out that Dumbledore faked her death and that she was actually Obliviated and hidden in Australia, in an interesting parallel with what Hermione did with her parents in canon.
  • Only Sane Man: He often serves as a foil to the Slytherins' prejudice or to Harry's crazy awesome-ness.
  • Overlord Jr.: Lucius has gone a long way to indoctrinate him on the value of blood purity and the notion that someone of his status can and should get away with anything.
  • Plausible Deniability: Inverted. No matter what he's doing, it must be a plot, even if he's genuinely helping. Interestingly, this in return gives him Plausible Deniability towards Slytherins, as they continue to assume he's plotting, and not simply helping people from the good of his heart.
  • The Starscream: He is this to Harry, at least in his own mind.

    Theodore Nott 

    Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle 

  • Hidden Depths: Both of them are far more intelligent and sophisticated than they appear at first glance. They just enjoy playing the Dumb Muscle role because it's more appropriate for the position of being Draco's lackeys.
  • Kung-Fu Wizard: Goyle is trained in martial arts, most for thuggery purposes.

    Daphne Greengrass 

  • Belligerent Sexual Tension: She attempts to invoke this by dueling Neville, but it doesn't really take.
  • Close-Range Combatant: Near the latter half of the story she begins to use a flashy Laser Blade in combat. She even manages to deflect a spell by slashing with it.
  • Light Is Good: In Slytherin, a Hogwarts dormitory known for treachery and evil, no less!
  • Only Sane Man: At least, she thinks of herself that way, though only up to a point.
    "Well," Daphne whispered, keeping her voice as low as she could, "at least now I don't feel like the only sane person in Hogwarts any more."
    "Because now you've got the rest of us as friends?" whispered Lavender Brown, who was tiptoeing along at her left side.
    "I don't think that's what she means," General Granger murmured from Lavender's own left.
  • Phrase-Catcher: When dueling Neville, she calls herself "Greengrass of Sunshine." This quickly becomes a popular joke among her classmates.
  • Wrong Genre Savvy: Like most of the girls, she views events like a romance plot, and tries to invoke her own romance with Neville during one of the battles.

    Blaise Zabini 

    Tracey Davis 

  • Cloudcuckoolander: 'The girl went on stalking through the corridor, like she had dramatic music accompanying her that only she could hear.' This may or may not be connected to her previous association in the Chaos Legion.
  • Dark Magical Girl: Parodied. She imagines herself to be this and plays up the role after staging a fake dark ritual and "sacrificing her soul" to Harry Potter.
  • Ignored Enamored Underling: Being used as a "conduit" for Harry gets her thinking that they're in love.
  • Jumped at the Call: She is overly enthusiastic about Hermione's call to heroism.
  • Teen Pregnancy: Her parents had her at 17.
  • True Companions: One of the reasons why Harry promised her his protection.


    Neville Longbottom 

  • Beware the Nice Ones: Thanks to the support he gets from being in Hufflepuff and Harry actively helping him along, he gets his upgrade to full hero status years earlier than in the books. Plus, due to training on his own time and flowering somewhat from the experience he's one of the most powerful individual fighters in the armies, and apparently something of a crowd favorite.
  • Calling Your Attacks: Justified, as his attacks require his allies to buff him.
  • Close-Range Combatant: He becomes skilled in using the Noble Ancient Blade spell to get into sword fights.
  • The Dragon: He's Harry's chief subordinate in the Chaos Legion.
  • Heroic B.S.O.D.: He has one when Hermione dies.
  • Kung-Fu Wizard: Part of his advanced training To fight Bellatrix involves using kicks when magic isn't an option.
  • Magic Knight: Almost literally at one point, when he dons Sleeping Hex-resistant armor and wields a Most Ancient Laser Blade blade.
  • Screaming Warrior: Neville screams the war cries Harry taught the Chaos Legion to psych himself up in army battles.
  • To Be Lawful or Good: He finds himself being forced to choose in Chapter 88. He chooses to be lawful and tries to keep Harry in the Great Hall where it's safe, and blames himself for Harry not arriving in time to save Hermione.
  • True Companions: Even after Hermione dies and he blames himself he says:
    "I want to stay here and fight with you against - against whatever's happening."

    Susan Bones 

  • Blue Blood: The House of Bones is noble.
  • Doom Magnet: This is what Susan believes S.P.H.E.W. to be.
  • Masquerade: She's suspected by the rest of S.P.H.E.W. to be a "double witch", which is the magical world's version of someone who attends a super secret magic school.
  • Only Sane Man: She's probably the only one out of S.P.H.E.W., because she actually takes steps to prevent DOOM.


    Ronald Weasley 

  • Butt-Monkey: Harry refuses to take him seriously.
  • Demoted to Extra: He is one of the captains of Hermione's army and has a battle with Neville but is ultimately a minor character in this story.
  • The Dragon: He's the heavy hitter for the Sunshine army, and the one most likely to put up a decent fight against Neville one on one.
  • Your Approval Fills Me with Shame: When Hermione is framed for the attempted murder of Draco, Ron sends his condolences and approval, but not because he thinks Hermione is innocent.

    Fred and George Weasley 

  • Bash Brothers: They use their pseudo-hive mind to double-team enemies in battle, putting up a respectable fight against a troll.
  • Beware the Silly Ones: Although essentially figures of comedy not connected with the main plot, they manage to pull off epic-scale pranks and are revealed as the heirs to Godric Griffindor when they pull his sword out of the Sorting Hat and double-team a magically enhanced troll.
  • The Chosen One: They are the heirs of Gryffindor.
  • Hive Mind: Wizard twins apparently form one, hence why in the past, one of the pair was normally killed at birth. They can't actually transmit information, but they tend to think the same things given the same situation so the effect is similar. When they actually disagree, they become extremely uncomfortable until they can come into agreement again.
  • Manipulative Bastard: They manage to royally screw over Rita Skeeter by forging a betrothal contract between Harry and Ginny, manufacturing a lot of evidence that should have been impossible to forge, and do it all in a time frame of less than twelve hours and on a budget of forty galleonsnote 
  • Noodle Incident: ... And then Obliviated themselves so that if they got caught, they wouldn't be able to divulge the details. It's implied that this is a fairly common procedure for the twins whenever they achieve some kind of grand-scale prank.
  • Overshadowed by Awesome: After Snape's apology speech...
    At the Gryffindor table, where a cake waited with fifty-one unlit candles, Fred whispered, "I think we may be out of our league here, George."note 


    Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore 

  • Adults Are Useless: While he's very competent otherwise, he not only tolerates, but actively allows for rampant bullying in the halls of Hogwarts, believing these minor injustices are worth preventing escalating conflicts.
  • Because Destiny Says So: Many of his more bizarre actions are based on what he's learned from listening to prophecies. He doesn't understand why he has to do them, but he knows terrible things are going to happen if they don't.
    Dumbledore: [in a letter] When you were six years old I crushed a rock on your windowsill, and to this day I cannot imagine why.
  • Cassandra Truth: He straight-up tells Harry that he's been behind everything bad that has ever happened to him in their first meeting; the absurdity of the conversation and the Chicken Incident prevent Harry from taking this seriously.
  • Cloudcuckoolander: No one knows whether he really is this or it's just a front.
  • Genre Savvy: He likes to frame himself as the wizard Gandalf from The Lord of the Rings, and conversations between him and students are often framed in "young heroes" and "mysterious old wizard" terms.
  • I Did What I Had to Do: Dumbledore has sacrificed his morals for the sake of avoiding greater tragedy.
    • He refused to ransom his brother during the previous war to show Voldemort that kidnapping the enemy's families wouldn't gain him anything, thus preventing future ransom kidnappings among Order members' loved ones.
    • According to Harry's inductions in chapter 46, after Dumbledore learned of Trelawney's prophecy, he had Snape push Voldemort into seeking out the Potters and killing them, in the hope that Voldemort's death would end the war. Harry notes that this trope was probably in play, but he's still pretty bothered that Dumbledore is seemingly directly responsible for his parents' deaths. Dumbledore admits it to have been the case in a much later chapter.
  • Obfuscating Insanity: Maybe. He does set a chicken on fire to make Harry think he gets to see Fawkes's rebirth. Harry doesn't quite buy it.
    • His plotting works like this, too. He has a dozen or so plans going at any one time, all of which seem insane and only eight or nine have any actual deeper goal. The fact many of his seemingly random actions are to fulfill prophesies and even he doesn't see how they're supposed to help muddles this a bit.
  • Reasonable Authority Figure: He's understanding of students' undisciplined behavior, to a degree.
    “I have also been asked by Mr. Filch, the caretaker, to remind you all that no magic should be used between classes in the corridors. Alas, we all know that what should be, and what is, are two different things. Thank you for keeping this in mind.”
  • Sealed Good in a Can: His plan to trap Voldemort outside Time using the mirror of Erised backfires on him, and he ends up trapping himself.
  • Reverse Psychology: A favorite trick of his, most dramatically in the S.P.H.E.W. arc. He also successfully pulls reverse-reverse psychology on Harry by being overly blatant about this trope.
  • Shell-Shocked Veteran: He appears to be clinically depressed, and it comes up most when talking about his war-torn past.
  • Thou Shalt Not Kill: He used to believe this.
  • Who Wants to Live Forever?: He has made his peace with death, and thinks everyone should do the same.

    Minerva McGonagall 

  • Animorphism: As in canon, she can turn into a cat.
  • Becoming the Mask: She's been playing the "stern disciplinarian" role to deal with the chaos in Gryffindor for so long that she defaults to it in a crisis instead of actually thinking. The realization that not only Harry and Quirrel but Dumbledore don't think of her as enough of an independent actor to even blame her for her mistakes thanks to this almost breaks her.
  • My God, What Have I Done?: She has this reaction when she realizes that Fred and George, being called to the front of an assembly to be recognized for their heroism, fully expect to be expelled for going against the letter of her orders to the students to stay put.
  • Reasonable Authority Figure: A sane, sensible teacher, and the reason Harry respects her so much. She starts with an unfortunate tendency to play the role a little too seriously, but gets better as the story progresses.
  • Resignations Not Accepted: She attempts to resign late into the year, after an extremely brutal dressing-down from Harry as to why she isn't responsible for Hermione's death and what she could have done differently, but Dumbledore refuses to lose faith in her.
  • Shapeshifter Baggage: Watching her turn into a cat is what sets off Harry's first rant.
  • You Are in Command Now: With Dumbledore being trapped outside of time, she takes his place as headmaster at the end of the story.

    Severus Snape 

    Filius Flitwick 

  • Half-Human Hybrid: Here, its canon that he has goblin ancestry.
  • Reasonable Authority Figure: Hermione considers him to be this, making it all the more painful when he fails to defend her against Snape.
  • Retired Badass: He was a dueling champion before he became a teacher.
  • Special Attack: He invented a secret variation on the Stunning Hex that reorients when the target dodges; useless against shields, but a great finishing move. After he teaches it to Harry it proves decisive in several fights, especially since the very best fighters don't use shields at all.

    Quirinus Quirrell/Tom Morfin Riddle/Lord Voldemort/David Monroe/Jeremy Jaffe 

  • Adaptational Badass: Quirrell goes from the one-note, incompetent, card-carrying, borderline comical villain of whose background we know virtually nothing in The Philosopher's Stone to an extremely complex, supremely intelligent, mind blowingly dangerous person (because he's so complicated, it's hard to call him a full "antagonist"). Naturally, this also applies to Voldemort, who is less of an Ax-Crazy genocidal maniac Drunk on the Dark Side and much more a Too Clever by Half Manipulative Bastard par excellence.
  • Affably Evil: He's either this or a Byronic Hero.
  • Animorphism: He's an unregistered snake animagus.
  • Baleful Polymorph / Blank Slate: His ultimate fate, courtesy of Harry using a Memory Charm to fully erase his personality, and transfiguration to keep his remaining habits and immense magical knowledge confined. Harry at least holds out hope that he'll one day be able to rehabilitate him.
  • Byronic Hero: He's either this or Affably Evil. He does help some people, rescue others, and sometimes claims he does it for amusement.
  • Crazy-Prepared: The steps taken by Quirrell to protect his plans led to the Space-Time Continuum telling Dumbledore that he was Too Late.
  • Deadpan Snarker: Quirrell is very vocal about his opinions and often uses dry wit.
  • Evil Cannot Comprehend Good: Even on the surface, he can only understand friendship and altruism in terms of power dynamics.
  • Evil Mentor: Rather than try to kill Harry, he instead tries to bring Harry around to his point of view.
  • Evil Sorcerer: He has dabbled in the dark arts, and even tells his class that it was his ambition when in school to become a dark wizard.
  • Fallen Hero: One of Quirrell's fake identities was David Monroe during the last war, who was thought to have died fighting against Voldemort before his connection to Quirrell is uncovered in the story. He claims to be one to Hermione and Amelia Bones identifies him as one.
  • I Have Many Names: He says he can no longer keep track of them all.
  • Multilayer Façade: He started as Tom Riddle playing both Voldemort and David Monroe (after killing the real Monroe). By the time of the story he's fully embraced the Voldemort persona, and Voldemort is possessing the real Quirrell and dropping hints that he's secretly Monroe in disguise. After his defeat, and Harry arranging the scene, everyone believes Monroe, pretending to be Quirrell, died heroically fighting Voldemort.
  • Right for the Wrong Reasons: Harry notes that Quirrell is so ridiculously clever that he tends to arrive at the right deductions even if he's using the wrong evidence. He realizes in retrospect that that really should have set off some alarms.
  • Self-Made Orphan: He took care of his own family issues long ago.
  • Silly Rabbit, Idealism Is for Kids!: When Harry objects to one of Quirrell's speeches (promoting fascism, no less), Quirrell claims that he only does this because he is very young.
  • Springtime for Hitler: "Lord Voldemort" was supposed to be an over-the-top clichéd villain who made stupid mistakes and was quickly defeated, intended to let Tom Riddle gain experience for the real run with the serious "evil genius" role he intended for his Monroe persona to beat, and just to get it out of his system. He ended up having to keep the character when he unexpectedly kept winning.
  • Too Clever by Half: When he thinks he has people or a puzzle figured out, he will refuse to update his opinions until forced to do so. All of his major setbacks are results of systematically out-thinking himself. It eventually leads to his defeat. He fixes the main mistake his canon version made by manufacturing many more horcruxes and hiding them better, but he takes absolutely no precautions towards somebody defeating him non-lethally. (Harry thinks this is part of his insanity.)
  • Villain Ball: In the last confrontation he makes a point of removing all of Harry's equipment, to the point that Harry is stripped naked. Then he lets Harry keep his wand while asking what the secret power Harry has that's prophesied to destroy him is. This results in Harry wiping out the Death Eaters and permanently vanquishing Voldy.
  • Villainous Breakdown: He has a minor one after he realizes how affected Harry is by Hermione's death. He becomes obsessive and paranoid, to the point of ranting out a stream-of-consciousness version of his planning process in front of Professor McGonagall on the off chance she may be able to help him.
  • Weapon of Choice: Avada Kedavra!
  • You Are Too Late: Harry, my horcrux is in space! And if that fails I have hundreds more!

    Sybil Trelawny 

Other adults

    Bellatrix Black 

  • Ignored Enamored Underling: She is this to Voldemort.
  • More Than Mind Control: Voldemort systemically tore her down and rebuilt her to love him, even knowing he did not love her in return. It's revealed later on that he simply took advantage of mental damage that was already present when they met.
  • Tragic Villain: Bella's had a tough life.

    Amelia Bones 

  • Awesomeness by Analysis: Despite being pretty far removed from Hogwarts and most of the plot, she manages to develop a pretty accurate picture of what's happening from a very brief, albeit dramatic, impersonal interaction with Harry.
  • Crazy-Prepared: She has thought of a rather startling number of contingencies about possible problems that could occur in the Auror's offices. The first one we hear of is "An auror wants to be relieved because a prisoner is attempting psychological warfare and succeeding."
  • Da Chief: She leads the Aurors.
  • Minor Major Character: She's head of the aurors and is Dumbledore's chosen regent should he die before his real successor comes of age, but other than a single story arc where she leads the good guys she only has a few brief appearences. Her impact in the story is still so much that the reader might be surprised to realize that an important conversation with Harry in Chapter 119 is the first time they've met.
  • Parental Substitute: She is one to Susan Bones, her great-niece.
  • Supporting Leader: Her high degree of seriousness, intelligence and clarity makes her a strong leader, but she is too sane and too normal to be the hero.

    Lucius Malfoy 

  • Big Bad: Dumbledore considers him to be this while Voldemort is out of the picture.
  • Big Bad Wannabe: Quirrell considers him to be this.
  • Crusading Widower: He promises to become one if anything happens to Draco.
  • Even Evil Has Loved Ones: While sharing secrets, Draco reveals that Lucius is supremely protective, even to the point of abandoning his political game to watch his son being taken care of at St. Mungo's.
  • Evil Chancellor: He is this to Fudge; somewhat subverted as by most measures that actually matter, Lucius is more powerful than Fudge in his own right.
  • Fantastic Racism: As in canon, he is a notorious champion of blood purity.
  • Hoist by His Own Petard: Harry uses Lucius's (probably false) claim that he was placed under the Imperius Curse by Voldemort to insist on a blood debt from House Malfoy in return for killing Voldemort and "freeing" him.

    Alastor "Mad-Eye" Moody 

  • Adaptational Badass: Moody is something of an Informed Badass in canon. In this fic, his badassery is plain for all to see.
  • Crazy-Prepared: He is always alert for an attack in any form coming from any direction. This is helped by his magical eye, which gives him simultaneous omnidirectional vision and can see magic.
    Mad-Eye Moody: I'd say that's a little... paranoid... NOT PARANOID ENOUGH!
  • Drill Sergeant Nasty: Tonks thinks so, but she is fond of him as a mentor.
  • Good Is Not Soft: One of his defining character traits.
  • Number Two: He's second to Dumbledore within the Order of the Phoenix.
  • Properly Paranoid: His other defining character trait. According to an old friend of his, most aurors and hitwizards would die an average of eight-and-a-half times in the amount of years it took Moody to gain what he now considers "an acceptable level of caution." Among other things, he figures out about "Monroe" being an imposter and a few more of Voldy's plans almost immediately after he is introduced; he just didn't manage to put it all together. In the end he figures out the broad strokes of what really happened in the final battle almost immediately this way.

Posthumous Characters

    Godric Gryffindor 

  • Author Avatar: By Word of God.
  • Retired Badass: In his heyday he was a war hero, but he settled down to found Hogwarts and teach not Duel Magic, but Herbology.
  • Too Clever by Half: According to Harry's deductions, he was clever enough to realize the true nature of dementors, but not quite clever enough to figure out how to cast a true patronus. The problem is, if you're stuck at this stage, you can't cast a Patronus at all.


    Dragon Army 

  • Authority Equals Asskicking: Mildly deconstructed as Draco points out the disadvantages of being both the commander and the most powerful wizard: he needs to exhaust himself casting the powerful spells and risk himself in combat when he should be focusing on command.
  • Badass Army: Draco tries to invoke this. He's still working on it until Chapter 78, wherein his army achieves a victory against Chaos and Sunshine, even managing to disable Chaos's trump card against them. However, for Draco, being defeated by Hermione during the battle spoils everything.
  • Enemy Mine: Dragon Army teams up with Chaos Legion in an effort to prevent Sunshine Regiment from winning the Christmas wish. Eventually, Dragon and Sunshine have to team up to have any hope of taking down Chaos.
  • Shout-Out: The name is one to Ender's Game. (Harry attempted to claim the reference intentionally, but "Draco" threw a fit, and Quirrell allowed him the name instead.)
  • You Are in Command Now: Padma Patil twice takes command of Dragon Army when Draco is taken down.

    The Chaos Legion 

  • Catch-Phrase: Seamus claims that Harry frequently says "I find your lack of skepticism disturbing" while doing the Vader-choke gesture.
  • Chewing the Scenery: Legionnaires are encouraged to do so.
  • Cloud Cuckoolander: Some members (especially Harry) are guilty of this.
  • Confusion Fu: In the first battle if not the others, Harry has them employ tactics meant to sow confusion in the enemy's ranks and use that to their advantage.
  • Conservation of Ninjutsu: The Chaos Legion continues to put up an equal fight against the combined forces of the other two armies, even after the army is further downsized. They do so with a lot of clever tricks and white fury.
  • Crazy-Prepared: Due to Harry's extensive science fiction knowledge he already has general strategies for the exotic scenarios worked out. Lampshaded in the Lake battle, where it blows Malfoy's mind that the Chaos Legion had a plan for 3D fighting when Harry really just gave the "Why are you all upside down?" speech from Ender's Game.
  • Doomy Dooms of Doom: Their theme song consists of nothing but the word Doom repeated over and over again to the tune of the Imperial Death March, a.k.a. Darth Vader's Theme, from Star Wars.
  • Deus Exit Machina: Quirrel forces Harry to downsize Chaos Legion after they curb stomp both other armies in the fourth battle. It works; they lose the next battle to Dragon.
  • Game-Breaker: invoked In the battles after Christmas break Harry starts using new or unexpected forms of magic in each battle to give himself an edge over the other armies.
  • Handicapped Badass: A rare example that focuses on a group rather than the individual. Harry is forced to split up his army. However, he manages to do a good job at fighting with his remaining forces, and may have possibly won if the Dragon Army hadn't copied the Legion's trick.
  • Mildly Military: Harry doesn't attempt to impose any kind of military discipline, instead encouraging everyone to think for themselves. This works out well for them; by the time the other armies are crippled by all the traitors, the Chaos army has mostly got it out of their system and is the most reliable of the three.
  • Obviously Evil: Rigorously enforced by General Chaos, just for Lulz.
  • Only Sane Man: Seamus says that when you first join the Chaos Legion it seems like everyone in it is insane, and then after a while you realize everyone else is insane. It turns out later that Harry has been training them in basic rationality, including anti-conformity drills.
  • Rules Lawyer: They are the reason no formal scoring system was administered until the Christmas battle - they would try to game the system.
  • Shout-Out: Mainly to Warhammer, H.P. Lovecraft, Ender's Game, Star Wars, and Monty Python.

    The Sunshine Regiment 

  • Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: They are the Jaywalking among the armies in terms of names (Dragon Army, Chaos Legion, and Sunshine Regiment) and insignias. Dragon Army's insignia is a flame. Chaos Legion's is a hand poised to snap its fingers. Sunshine Regiment's is a smiley face.
  • Beware the Nice Ones: Invoked by Hermione. When the armies are formed she plays up the other generals' perception of her as a super-nice goody two-shoes; e.g., naming her army the Sunshine Regiment and making their insignia a smiley face. Then, in the first battle she enacts a cunning plan, and while springing the trap has her troops sing a chilling battle song that sounds silly and very nice out of context.
  • Enemy Mine: Sunshine and Dragon eventually have to team up to have any hope of taking down Chaos.
  • The Hero: Hermione Granger.
  • Lethal Joke Character: Intentionally invoked both by themselves and Quirrell. On their part it's by embracing a Tastes Like Diabetes persona to make their opponents underestimate them, most dramatically in the first battle. On Quirrell's side he puts Hermione in charge, even though he and the other captains agree she has no chance... and then also puts every one of their suggestions for a third captain under her control, knowing that she would be smart enough to call on their tactical abilities to supplement her own.
  • The Strategist: Ron Weasley.
  • Tastes Like Diabetes: Intentionally. As noted above, their general image as an army is a group of super-nice, goody two-shoes who have a cheery name and their insignia is a smiley face.