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Quotes / No Bisexuals

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"Are you one of those fake lesbians, just having a vacation in lesbian-land?"
Arizona, Grey's Anatomy

"There is no gray area here. You can't kind of think this is OK. You can't kind of side with Izzie Stevens. And you can't be sort-of a lesbian."
Dr. Hahn, Grey's Anatomy

"Are you really gay? Like, how gay are you? On a scale of one"
Lexi Grey, Grey's Anatomy

Thirteen: I'm not a lesbian.
House: I was just rounding up from fifty percent.

Larry Bloom: Worry? Worry about what?
Polly Harper: That she'd turn gay again.

"'Bisexual' is a word gay guys in high school use when they want to hold hands with a girl and feel normal for a change."
Kurt, Glee

"Hey, I likes me some kink, but if you think I'm going down town on this chick you chose the wrong chosen one."

"And then there are bisexuals, though some just say they're kidding themselves.
Phoebe, Friends

There's no such thing as bisexual, that's just something they invented in the 90's so they could sell more hair products!
Liz Lemon, 30 Rock

"There's no such thing as bisexual — it's just greediness."
Linda LaHughes, Gimme, Gimme, Gimme

“Jay, I'm not bi, I'm not confused. I'm a lesbian. An actual lesbian. Who just broke up with her first girlfriend and it sucks.”

Paige: I don't even know what I am!
"Despite what you might have heard, bisexual people are real!"

"You can't like boys and girls. Is there even a word for that?"
Becky MacIntyre, Dumbing of Age

Dorothy: Wait, so you're ... bisexual, is it? Is that the problem?
Danny: Why aren't you freaking out? Isn't it a little weird?
Dorothy: You can like boys and girls.
Danny: Is there even a word for that?
Dorothy: Yes, there is. I said it like fifteen seconds ago.
Danny: If you say so. I think I'd have heard about it before.
Dumbing of Age again

Now some may say,
“Oh you’re just gay!
Why don’t you just go gay all the way?”
But that’s not it,
‘Cause bi’s legit.
Whether you’re a he or a she,
We might be a perfect fit.
— Darryl Whitefeather, "Getting Bi," Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

Rosa: Mom, Dad, I know you don't wanna talk about this, but I do. I might get married to a man — like you so clearly want — and I might not. 'Cause this is not a phase, and I need you to understand that. I'm bisexual.
Oscar: There's no such thing as being bisexual.
Rosa: Yes, there is. I know there is because that's who I am. I'm attracted to both men and women. I've known this about myself for a really long time, and I didn't wanna tell you because I was afraid you were gonna react exactly like you are.
Oscar: ...What do you want us to say?
Rosa: That you accept me for who I am.
[Several seconds of absolutely brutal silence.]
Rosa: Wow. Okay. Let's go.
[Rosa and Jake leave, while Rosa's parents sit in silence.]

"You don’t just turn gay. You fall somewhere on the spectrum like on a Kinsey scale."
Piper Chapman, Orange Is the New Black

"She's not a lesbian, she probably just ran out of men!"
Charlotte (about Samantha), Sex and the City

Tess: Unfortunately for me, he bats for the pink team.
Sean: "No, no, no, no, darling. He bats for the blue team."

"Rule number one: don't ever fall in love with a straight girl!"
Alex Vause arguing with Piper Chapman, Orange Is the New Black

Freddie Mercury: (coming out to Mary) I think I'm bisexual.
Mary Austin: Freddie, you're gay.

"How does that work? You go to bed one night, wake up the next morning and poof, you're a lesbian?"
Carrie (about Samantha), Sex and the City

Nic: (tearing up) Are you straight now?
Jules: No! It's got nothing to do with that!.

Carol Chapman: You were a lesbian?
Piper Chapman: At the time.
Cal Chapman: Are you still a lesbian?
Piper Chapman: No, I'm not still a lesbian.

"How can you say that Bisexuality is not real? It's right in the middle of LGBTQ!"
Trevor, Will & Grace

"Do you miss the dick? Is that what this is all about?"
Maria (to Samantha), Sex and the City

"I'm not even sure bisexuality exists. I think it's just a layover on the way to Gaytown."
Carrie, Sex and the City

"Some people seem to think that bisexuality is a payment scheme. You know; bi now, gay later."
Mae Martin

"All right. Yeah... okay, yeah, I thought about it. But no, Frasier, no... I don't believe that. And you know why? Because you would have known by now. Your unconscious or whatever the hell you call it could no more have kept its yap shut than the rest of you."
Martin (to Frasier questioning his sexuality), Frasier

"I know all about your husband! You still like girls, Beth!?"
Nick Curran, Basic Instinct

"What was I supposed to say? "Hey, guys, I'm not gay, but I did fuck your suspect"?"
Beth Garner, Basic Instinct

Jenny Harper: Don’t worry, nothing could have happened, I’m gay.
Walden Schmidt: Wait, so how gay? On a scale of 1-10, 1 being Yay, it’s college and 10 being I’m going Subaru shopping with Ellen and Rosie?
Jenny Harper: I’d say a nine. I mean I make my own soap but I don’t sell it at Lilith Fair.
Walden Schmidt: Great. So we didn’t have sex!
Jenny: But sometimes I date an innie who has an outie in her purse… so it’s possible. I have a saying for times like this: What happens in Jenny, stays in Jenny.

Brian: (to Dani) Are you trying to make me jealous?
Dani: Brian, this is Kyle. Kyle, this is Brian.
Brian: (to Kyle) Are you making a play on my girl, Spray-tan?.
Dani: Brian, I'm not your girl. Okay? You're gay!
Brian: 37%! Technically ain't gay, baby!
Dani: What?!

Bina: I'm not gay gay.

Carol Chapman: I was afraid you were turning into one of those butch lesbians.
Piper Chapman: Mom!
Carol Chapman: Sorry, sorry. Bisexuals.

She's bisexual, which is what guys call themselves for a few months before they say gay, and what girls call themselves when they can't interact with people without fingering them.

Joey: So you are. You're gay.
Jack: Well... I'm not—
Joey: You're not gay?
Jack: No—
Joey: Part gay?

Alan Harper: (about Evelyn and Teddy fighting) Wow. Wonder what's that about.
Jake Harper: Maybe Teddy found out Grandma's part lesbian.

"Look, if [Judith] is gay, then there's nothing you can do about it. Except maybe to try and figure why a lesbian married you in the first place."
Charlie Harper, Two and a Half Men

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