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Literature / Hamish X

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The Hamish X book series is a trilogy of novels written by Canadian stand-up comedian Sean Cullen. It includes books Hamish X and the Cheese Pirates, Hamish X and the Hollow Mountain and Hamish X Goes to Providence Rhode Island.

The title character, Hamish X, is a Hollywood Cyborg (or Ridiculously Human Robot, depending on interpretation) with gold eyes. He's an orphan who was modified by a Men-in-Black-like organization called the Orphan Disposal Agency, or ODA. Of course, he goes on to become their worst enemy when he realizes he's being manipulated.

The series is surprisingly deep and detailed but it also manages to be hilarious; it uses footnotes containing comedic (and often completely made up) definitions and explanations of various events as they progress.

For another series by the same author, written after this one was completed, see Chronicles of the Misplaced Prince.

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This Series contains examples of:

  • Hive Mind: George, the Master Computer that keeps the Hollow Mountain under control, is physically manifested as a Hive Mind made up of talking, mechanical raccoons.
  • Lemony Narrator: The narrator only speaks in footnotes and introductions, but he's constantly making odd statements and breaking the Fourth Wall.
  • Mood Whiplash: The third book, in contrast to the previous two, is almost entirely dramatic and much less comedic. Of course, if we work in reverse, the first book whiplashes into the second - as the first book was almost entirely humor in comparison.
  • Mundane Made Awesome:
    • If you never thought cheesemaking could be epic, this'll change your mind.
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    • As well as a perfectly ordinary game of one-on-one basketball beetween two children...one of which is a super-powered cyborg, the other given similar powers by his own Powered Armour. Cha.
    • Not allowing the heroes to top them, the ODA also manage to break out this trope - Humongous Mecha teddy bears of death? Exploding teapots that actually cause a main character to be killed off? Check and check.
  • Obviously Evil: ODA. They call themselves the ORPHAN DISPOSAL AGENCY. If that's not obvious, what is?
  • Running Gag:
    • Arctic foxes are a running gag in the first book.
    • Anyone who mentions the King of Switzerland (who is in fact the ruler of the Hollow Mountain, which is located in Switzerland - not the country itself) can expect to get the reply "Switzerland is a republic!"
    • People in the series also have a tendency to confuse zeppelins for blimps, which is usually corrected by either Parveen or the narrator.
  • Screw Destiny: Hamish X was modified to bring about the Endof The World As We Know It. To that he says no way and fights for the good.
  • Serious Business: In this book's universe, cheesemaking is taken very seriously. It's serious enough for there to be a virtual cheese-royalty as well as Pirates who only steal cheese.
  • Shout-Out: In the third book, we meet a smuggler named Georgio Stroumboulopoulis. You have to watch a lot of CBC to get it.
  • Trademark Favorite Food:
    • Hamish X seems to have a thing for toast. He requests it to be made by George in the second novel, and in the third... it's made extraordinary and amazing.
    • People of this 'verse, especially Cheese Pirates and the cheesemakers, have an obsession with cheese.
    • Parveen loves porridge, which seems to fit his role as The Stoic.
  • We Can Rebuild Him: Hamish X, who was actually the victim of a staged killing by the ODA, drowned, and then brought back to life as a cyborg.
  • Weird Trade Union: The narrator belongs to the Guild of Narrators.

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