Funny / The Simpsons Season 32

The Simpsons Funny Moments Index
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Moments pages are Spoilers Off. You Have Been Warned.

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685 - "Undercover Burns"

• Burns sees the graffiti which describes how hated he is. He tries to see if it's any better in the women's room, only to see a burning effigy.
• Homer becomes so enamored with Burns' new personality, that he wants to go to work early, even missing out on a breakfast turkey.
  Bart: Should we tell him it's Saturday?
  Marge: Mmm, not yet. This way we'll get some of the turkey for once.
• Burns' one rule for Smithers: all machines must have a "KILL" button.

686 - "I, Carumbus"

• The plot gets kicked off by Homer and Marge arguing about Homer's work ambition, causing a curator to try and help them.
  Homer: Once again, arguing in a public place got a stranger to give us therapy for free.
• After Obeseus sleeps with Majora, his friends try to protect him by stating I had sexicus! His reaction?
  Obeseus: You jerks! You knew I liked her.
• Emperor Burns dies when a column falls on him. The funny part is that it causes his brain to pop out of his mouth, bounce down the stairs and get eaten by a lion.
• Bartigula declares war on Neptune, God of the Sea. It doesn't go well.

687 - "Now Museum, Now You Don't"

• Lisanardo Da Vinci is hated by her art class due to her heaven given abilities. When she denies that her abilities come from heaven, an angel comes down to give her more talent.
  Lisanardo: Really not a good time.
• Skinner and Chalmers after being beheaded.
  Skinner: Sir, are you sticking your tongue out because you're dead, or becuase you're mad at me?
  Chalmers: A little of both.
• Homer is killed and tries to get on an escalator to heaven. The escalator collapses and sends him to hell.
• El Barto slices a B into the local police officer, with bright red writing.
  Officer: Wow, look at that. Slashed through my coat and didn't even scratch me. (collapses)
• Child Bernie Sanders, the hope for socialists everywhere.
• When Burns as John D. Rockefeller orders to "release the hounds", it takes them forever to go down the elevator at Rockefeller Center from the 60th floor.

688 - "Treehouse of Horror XXXI"

Intro

Toy Gory

• Part of Bart's manhandling of his toys includes tying a Stretch Arm-Long to a car Grampa is driving. The recoil pulls the car into the room, causing it to smash through the wall.
• The fact that the Radioactive Man action figure was made in Chernobyl with real radioactivity.
• Marge's reaction when the Radioactive Man toy explodes in the microwave?
  Marge: It's wine time. (chugs wine bottle)
• During Radioactive Man's funeral, there's a TV Head Robot with "WHAT A DOOFUS" shown on its face.
• Bart tries to convince the toys that he wouldn't have mistreated them if he'd known they were alive.
  Bart: Iwould have never treated you bad if I knew you had feelings.
  Milhouse: You treat me bad and you know I have feelings.
  Bart: You're in on this, too?
  Milhouse: They've got Puppy Goo-Goo!
  Puppy Goo-Goo: They don't "have me"! I ran away, loser!
• Bart's last words? "You kill like a girl".
• Bart's ultimate fate is to have his body fashioned into some messed-up toy, which his family quickly find. That's not funny. What is funny is how they're horrified over how he can now only say nice things over the fact he's... you know, dead.
  Bart: (Monotone) I'm Bart Simpson. Let's watch what you want to watch.
  Lisa: (Screams bloody murder and bolts inside)
  (Later, at Dr. Hibbert's office)
  Homer: Bart... Son, speak to me!
  Bart: I'm Bart Simpson. I love my mother and father.
  Marge: Oh, we've lost him!
  • While crying, Homer takes time to eat the pop rocks and silly putty that comes out of toy-Bart's head. In the still frame when the art style returns to 2D, both Hibbert and Lisa look weirded out by this.
• The moral of the story? Don't buy toys, kids.

Into the Homer-Verse

• Homer gets accosted by a security guard.
  Guard: No one allowed in!
  Homer: Then what are you doing here?
  Guard: You're right. (hits self with taser) You want some more, punk?
• Noir Homer has some great one-liners.
  Noir Homer: This case is gonna be like Homer's skull. Hard to crack and nothing inside.

Be Nine, Rewind

• Lisa's hand-me down box contains books...for Bart.
• Lisa's first repeat of the loop involves her avoiding the car that originally hit her...by moving Milhouse into its path before stepping out of the way.
• Since Lisa and Nelson are both in a time loop, they decide to support each other. Unfortunately, after that, Nelson falls into a woodchipper.
  Lisa: I guess since we're supporting each other, I should jump in. (jumps)
  Nelson: There were other options!
  Lisa: NOW YOU TELL ME!

689 - "The 7 Beer Itch"

• Lily throws a dart to decide where to go. The wind blows it into a poster saying Visit Springfield.
• Homer wants to know why he didn't know about the vacation to the vineyard. Marge's aunt made it part of the agreement that he couldn't come
• Lily opens a window in Moe's tavern to try to liven things up, cue Hallelujah chorus. An overwhelmed Moe closes the window, cue satanic chorus. Moe then opens and closes the window to hear both choruses play back and forth.

690 - "Podcast News"

• How does the family react to Grandpa being accused of murder, and Kent Brockman deciding to make an "unbiased" podcast called Guilty Grandpa?
  Marge: I've already subscribed.
• Springfield's police department continues to work as well as ever.
  Wiggum: We decided to get a swab of his hands to test for pushing. It came back as "no such test exists."
  • Later, Abe decides to turn himself in after listening to the podcast convinces him he's guilty. Wiggum arrests him for spoiling the ending.
• The family is the only one who believes that Grandpa's innocent (except maybe Homer). Unfortunately, they don't help his case when trying to prove his innocence.
  Homer: Oh sure, my dad was abusive. He was normally a loner who kept to himself, but he could be abusive when he tries.
  Kent: What did your mother think about this? (family signals not to answer)
  Homer: You know, I'm not sure. She disappeared mysteriously when I was a child.
  • Other people weigh in and are just as bad.
  Selma: Picture the worst person in the world.
  Patty: Now picture his father and you've got Abe.
  Old Jewish Man: His roommates kept ending up dead. Ninety year old people don't just stop breathing.
  Bart: He's NOT a murderer! He's a war hero. His squad mates used to call him Johnny Flamethrower. He said the fires told him who to kill.

691 - "Three Dreams Denied"

• Bart states that he can do a few voices: Nelson Muntz and Todd Flanders.
• Maggie playing the knife game with her pacifier.
• Ralph loses first triangle to an empty chair
  Ralph: The better chair won!
• Bart gets a job as a voice over actor, with his first episode airing the next day
  Marge: I thought animation took nine months.
  Bart: Nah, you can make new cartoons in a day. Anyone who takes longer is just trying to bleed the studio dry.
• Lisa tries to insist she will get revenge on the kid who sabotaged her saxophone in two days (as there's a field trip beforehand). He reminds her of the science fair that day, prompting her to thank him exasperatingly.
• Bart's voice over role is for an adult woman. He didn't notice even though his character claims that her place is in the scullery.
  Bart: I thought the scullery was where they kept skulls!
  • Later when Lisa tries to cheer him up with good news, he hopes it's not an Annie Award as it's worthless.
• During the end credits, Lisa and Blake sing the part of "Anything You Can Do" where they compete to see who can sing higher. Blake actually wins, and Lisa responds "Alright, I can't. Big whoop."

692 - "The Road to Cincinnati"

• Skinner tries to high-five Chalmers, but misses and hits his crotch.
  • He's later seen practicing high-fives on a display skeleton, and getting his hand stuck on the pelvic gridle.
• Chalmers decides to pick up hitchhikers rather than spend time alone with Skinner. Unfortunately, they're Shakespearean improvers.
• The biker bar...which mostly contains bicyclists.
• Chalmers speaks about how all superindentents have to deal with "that one principal." We cut to the audience, where we see principals and superindenents with arrows, prison jumpsuit, a boa constrictor surrounding them and ash marks.

693 - "Sorry Not Sorry"

• Lisa insists that Miss Hoover should be in detention rather than her.
  Bart: There is a detention for teachers. It's called being a teacher.
• Bart threatens the detention room with a stink bomb to protect Lisa. When he ends up throwing it, it turns out to be a bottle of lavender.

694 - "A Springfield Summer Christmas for Christmas"

• Homer's attempts to get fake snow by shredding white stuff: prison laundry, beards from retirees and a femur from a T Rex bone.
• The movie loses its Christmas tree due to a very aggressive beaver population.
• The movie producer decides to stay with Skinner since he remembered her coffee flavor which her fiancée never could. Skinner takes a more cynical view of this.
  Skinner: Are you nuts? Pick Him! He's a thousand times better than me. He's a surgeon; a HANDSOME SURGEON. What was your plan? Were you gonna move here? Were we gonna share a car? I'm getting dizzy from thinking about your poor decision making.

695 - "The Dad-Feelings Limited"

• After a birthday party, Homer and Marge accidentally pick up a kid who was dressed like Bart by mistake.
  Marge: Go back and get Bart.
  Homer: Hold on, this one seems nicer. Kind of stuck up, but nicer.
• Flanders comes for a dinner invitation.
  Homer: There never was any dinner, you fell for a scam, you're babysitting, no money!
• Homer and Marge join Comic Book Guy and Kimiko's trivia team. When he asks what they could possibly help with, the first two categories are sports and twentieth century vacuum cleaners.

696 - "Diary Queen"

• Milhouse tries to convince Bart not to read Krabappel's diary.
  Milhouse: Bart, if you read this, you'll regret it. Maybe not today...
  Bart: Good enough for me.
• Milhouse states that Bart reading a diary in the church is the worst thing anyone can do in a church.
  Random Priest: No, it's not. It's really not.
  • We later see the priest getting arrested.
• Lisa tries to tell Bart off for bragging about his A:
  Lisa: This may surprise you, Bart, but not all of my thoughts revolve around you. (thoughts) How did he do it? How did he do it? How did he...OH NO! All of my thoughts are based around him!
  • Marge then tries to tell Lisa not to be so suspicious as she chooses to just be happy about his grade. We then cut to her searching his room to figure out how he cheated.
• Lisa learns that Krabappel was writing about her cat instead of Bart. However, Bart has actually been doing well thinking that she actually supported him, and says they're both two good smart kids.
  Lisa: What's worse: to be cruel or to lie?
  Bart: Both are great! Just like us! Two smart kids.
• Poster for a spelling bee: a six inch trophy for an obsolete skill

697 - "Wad Goals"

• Skinner tries to work as a caddy, but it doesn't go well.
• Marge's petition to get the club shut down is initially titled "Stop Coddling the Springfield Junipers Wealthy," but it doesn't fit. She shortens it to "Stop Coddling the S.J.W.s," much to Lisa's consternation.
• The club owner tries to get Bart to stop his mother's petition.
  Bart: I'm sorry, but my mom never backs down, even when she's wrong. That's why she's married to my dad.

698 - "Yokel Hero"

• Bart and Lisa make bets on why Homer doesn't come home at night.
  Homer: Kids, your father spent last night in the drunk tank.
  Bart: Pay up Lise.
  Lisa: Why do I keep betting on working late to pay for my college?
• Cletus chastizes Bart and Lisa for speaking in a stereotypical hillbilly accent...because they're doing it wrong.
• Homer gives Cletus a contract for being his manager.
  Cletus: Let me take a gander at this. (picks up animal to peck at contract) Looks good.

699 - "Do PizzaBots Dream of Electric Guitars?"

• Homer's job at a pizza place ends after the FBI conducts a run since the singing robots are used to hold cocaine.
  Gil: That ain't mine. Gil's never seen that sweet, sweet cocaine! Let me get a sniff.
• After remembering the trauma, Homer seems fine. But Marge is convinced that he's no longer as whimsical. Moe then barges in and supports her claim.
  Bart: I've seen Mom get worked-up over Homer, but Moe? That shook me.
  Lisa: How can we heal a fourteen year old pizza-related trauma? (Bart stares at her) What? It's a very Dad problem to have.
• Homer's attempt at trolling gets some support...three comments.
  • Later the movie has it's own designated troll zone.
• Homer threatens to burn the only copy of the film, only to be told that there are multiple copies on various servers.
  J. J. Abrams: That's just a prop from the lobby.
  Homer: I was wondering why it was made of butter.
• Grandpa comes in to tell off Homer claiming that the movie ruined his childhood, as it was Abe who did that.
  Homer: You're right. I thought that this remake would destroy my childhood, but all it really did was make me realize that the band helped me forget about how you destroyed it instead.
  JJ: You know Homer, while this movie can't help your childhood, it might help today's kids forget their crappy childhoods.
  Bart: Like us Dad. I want to forget.
  Lisa: I want to forget so much.
• Troll Force Five.

700 - "Manger Things"

• Marge's intro to the story states that it's a tale of failure and redemption.
  Lisa: Isn't that every Christmas story?
  Marge: Yes, but this is about your father.
  Bart: Isn't that every Homer story?
• How does the plant keep things safe while at the party? A dog who barks if the light turns red. It didn't work out well.
• Marge tries to talk to Abe about Homer, but ends up saying too much.
  Marge: You know how he is. You're living with us temporarily.
  Abe: Temporarily?
• Bart and Lisa think they see Homer outside the house, but it's just a snowman...who loses its head, and then has crows peck its eyes.
• Moe let an Irish family stay in the loft of the Simpsons garage.
  Irish Father: (cramped with seven kids) This is the best place we've ever lived.
• Homer tries to get food out of mousetraps...it doesn't go well.
• After the story reveals that Todd Flanders' middle name is Homer because the latter helped deliver the former, Homer says that, for similar reasons, Maggie's middle name is "Lenny". Maggie then drops her pacifier in shock.

701 - "Uncut Femmes"

• Bob Seger calling out Homer and Clancy Wiggum for foisting their commitments onto their wives.
  Homer: We got Seger shamed.
  • As Seger chews them out, he includes the names of some of his songs, with a bandmate duly counting them down in the background.
• Marge goes into great detail about why Sarah and her old partner's plans won't work since she's a superfan of the Gen gala. Eventually, they have her plan the whole heist.
• Homer and Wiggum try to find their wives, with predictable results.
  Homer: We looked in all their favorite places, but it turns out we don't pay enough attention to know where those are, so I don't know what we were doing.
• Lindsey Naegle's prolonged fall down the stairs.

702 - "Burger Kings"

• Mr. Burns's face dehydrating as he drools over Homer's burger.
• A crowd forms outside Burns' hospital room cheering for him to die. When Smithers announces that he survived, the crowd goes "Aw!"... and a man pulls out a gun and aims it at his head. A gunshot is then heard in the next scene.
• As Lisa and Bart bike to the meatless burger factory, they pass the kids from Stranger Things, including a Demogorgon biking behind them. On the way back, they pass them again, only the bikes are empty and the Demogorgon has a kid in his mouth.
• A single bubble of champagne causes Burns to float to the ceiling.
• At the meatless burger factory, an Anton Chirugh look-alike is killing plants with a bolt gun. He covers a seedling before killing its parent, then kills the seedling.

703 - "Panic on the Streets of Springfield"

• Homer impulsively buys a truck, and as he shows off the infrared setting on the rear view camera, it shows Marge banging her head on the other side of the front door.
• Homer doing "truck stuff" with Bart, including dragging Captain McAllister's houseboat onto land without his consent (to which Homer just says "You're welcome!"), hauling gravel up a mountain and back again (which costs him $1,000) and pulling out the stump of The Giving Tree.
• In the middle of the school conference about Lisa, Homer engages in an impromptu hauling battle with Groundskeeper Willie and his tractor.
• Marge dealilng with her anxiety over Lisa's misbehavior by making a ton of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Which of course Homer eats.
• The rioters at the music festival chanting "Misplaced anger!"
• Homer's Moment of Awesome, in which he uses the truck to haul the ferris wheel where Lisa was trapped, turns out to have been All Just a Dream, as he has fallen asleep in traffic from having too many of Marge's sandwiches.
  • In Homer's dream, the truck gearshift has settings for Riot and Full Scale Riot.

704 - "Mother and Child Reunion"

• Bart locking Homer in a straight jacket at the magic shop.
• The fortune teller gives Homer and Bart some good news. Though, they don't take it that way
  Herzog: Good news, Homer. You will stop drinking.
  Homer: No!
  Herzog: And the boy becomes a fine young man.
  Bart: No! (grabs liquorice wand) Reversus Predictum.
• Lisa decides against going to college, and mentions that she regrets spending all her time studying with Bart.
  Lisa: Don't you have any regrets?
  Bart: I regret starting this conversation.
• Bart and Lisa reconcile in the future...thanks to Bart's weed company.
• Marge's hair takes forty-five minutes to fully frisk.

705 - "The Man From G.R.A.M.P.A."

• Homer tempts fate after he sees his father act as a spy
  Homer: This is the worst thing I've ever seen. (cut to Patty and Selma adjusting their bikinis) OK! Third worst!
• Terrence is revealed to be a little bit demented. His daughter tries to reassure them.
  Daughter: It's a good thing that he can't get a gun (Herman walks in with a huge cache of guns) in England!
  Herman: Got a load of guns for crazy old guy name Terrence. Didn't say why he wanted 'em, just wanted 'em quick.
  Lisa: What about the waiting period?
  Herman: I waited for him to pay cash, period!

706 - "The Last Barfighter"

• ¡Noches con Abejorrito!, an on-point parody of Latin American variety shows hosted by Bumblebee Man.
• Bart tormenting Homer with the crystal tequila by dedicating a song to him: Tequila.
• When Homer brings the crystal skull tequila bottle to the tavern, Moe breaks out his finest glassware - Iran hostage crisis commemorative shot glasses.
• Moe gets a message from The Confidential from a rat. He asks the rat to lead the way, which means he follows it down a sewer grate.
• The effects of anti-booze on Barney, appearing as Moe lists them. First a skull splitting headache; followed by firehouse sweating; then rhinoceros pox (horn-shaped pimples); and finally, hurricane vomiting (which we thankfully don't get to see).
• The bartender who finally gets Homer is none other than Dr. Hibbert, who tended bar as a med student. He pins his sleeve to the door with a corkscrew and injects him with anti-booze... then gives him a smiley face bandage and a lollipop.
• In The Stinger, the crystal skull bottle tells the Simpsons kids that they're cursed... with hereditary alcohol dependency.

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