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"This is a manly picnic. No glasses. No napkins. Whiskey only."

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  • Disabling adult content can lead to a complete mood whiplash because of the way that sex scenes are censored. Once the sex starts, the game flashes to a random, unrelated image, and then cuts to after the sex ends. Since the choice of image is completely random, some players have gotten an image of fried shrimp in Hanako's route, after she shows Hisao her severely burned body. The unfortunate coincidence is simply hilarious.
  • This video, parodying the "I love you Rin Tezuka" and "I love you Emi Ibarazaki" videos.
  • The April Fool's Day blog post's discussion of subscriber features, particularly getting the option to tell Kenji he's cute or propose a threesome with Shizune and Misha if you pay for it.
    • Also in April Fool's, the amusingly stilted deliveries of the voice acting samples, including Misha's trademark "WAHAHA~!" laugh. With Shizune you get thirteen seconds of silence.
    • The promised "HD" version of Katawa Shoujo that is said to have been stripped of anything remotely offensive i.e., anything other than the title screen.
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    • The anime adaptation could either be this or Dude, Not Funny! to fans that actually want an anime adaptation by Studio DEEN.

Kenji

  • Hisao trying to get out of listening to Kenji's first rant about the "vast feminist conspiracy".
    Hisao: Stop it. Stop! I lost you way, way back there somewhere. Somewhere around "feminist infiltration".
    Kenji: Too hard to follow? It's cool, I have some graphs and stuff in my room. And puppets. You like puppets?
    Hisao: No puppets.
    Kenji: You don't like puppets, okay. Graphs are still cool though, right?
  • Kenji bursting in on Hisao butt naked while Hisao is in the shower, to ask for money. And to rant a bit about feminists again.
    Hisao: Must be a pretty crappy movement if it all hinges on one naked guy, ranting in a bathroom at another naked guy.
  • Hisao's reaction to one of Kenji's first inane rants:
    "I have never seen anyone talk so heatedly and so defensively about absolutely nothing before."
    • For that matter, Kenji's inane rants, period. They really have to be read to believed.
    Kenji: That blind broad is up to no good. I can feel it in my spleen, man. Her presence is like a dark shadow that's in the way of my great vision! As expected of blind people.
    Kenji: "Only legally."
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    • Also, the "manly picnic".
    Hisao: You didn't even bring glasses?
    Kenji: No, this isn't some romantic princess picnic. What the hell, man? This is a manly picnic. No glasses. No napkins. Whiskey only. The beverage of true men.
    Hisao: Whatever.
    Kenji: And pretzels.
    • On him talking about why he doesn't have a phone.
    Kenji: But, basically, when I hear a phone, I get nervous. It's my darkest secret. I have two theories on it: either I have some fear of receiving some undefined, ominous, life-altering doom call, or I was beaten with a phone in the past. Beaten so badly I can't remember it.
    Hisao: Beaten in the head.
    Kenji: Well, where else could I get beaten with a phone that would make me unable to remember it? The ass?
    • Same scene:
    Hisao: I thought you didn't go outside.
    Kenji: I wear a hat now.
    I decide not to point out that he is not wearing a hat.
  • In Rin's route, when he mistakes Rin for a male and extends an invitation to join his anti-feminist movement. Rin doesn't even realize what he's talking about because of his vague phrasing and her Cloudcuckoolander nature.
  • During Lilly's route, he finds Hisao in the cafeteria and they decide to have lunch together. While looking for somewhere to sit:
    Hisao: Seems like it'd be hard to find an empty table.
    Kenji: There's a few people I wouldn't mind sitting with. Nobody's like you, though.
    Hisao: Clarify that now.
    Kenji: They don't listen. Their minds are closed. It's the media, man, the Goddamn brainwashing mainstream feminist Fascist media.
    Kenji's theme begins playing as he speaks.
  • The Record Scratch when Kenji and Hisao's friendship moment in Shizune's route ends.
  • When he's talking about playing bowling, "The manliest sport." Then wonders if he should wear his pink bowling uniform.
  • "I need some cash."
  • At one point in Lilly's route, Kenji accosts Hisao to rant about how Lilly is in the mafia, which leads to this exchange:
    Kenji: Now answer me this: who has lots of social power, is filthy stinking rich - you know all blondes are rich, right? - has a long history of disputes and used to belong to a much larger organization?
    Hisao: The Roman Catholic Church?
    Kenji: ...Well okay, there's that.
    • Even more hilarious is that Lilly actually attended a Catholic school before coming to Yamaku Academy.
    • When you reach the Kenji ending, the song "To Become One" begins playing shortly after Kenji talks about how his past, and before Hisao falls off the rooftop, which is the same song that plays during the H-Scenes.

Rin's route

  • One of the very first things Rin says to Hisao:
    "The problem must be in your pants!"
  • Rin's aversion of No Periods, Period.
  • "Underpants are the soul of a girl. You shouldn't peek at someone else's soul. Even if you are not a girl."
  • "Do you want me to do it with my foot or my mouth?"
  • Hisao: "Are you being sarcastic?" Rin: "What's sarcasm?"
  • Rin taking just a little too much cold medicine. And the subsequent reaction the following day with a hilarious wall of text.
  • When Rin has "artist's block", she feels like she's forgotten how to paint, which she thought was "as impossible as Emi growing wings and a tail".
  • Rin deciding that Lilly has stolen her and Emi's usual lunch spot on the roof, and declaring that a nearby yellow butterfly is Lilly's accomplice and was scouting the area for her. She concludes that Lilly is a "butterfly whisperer".
  • During the scene in the atelier when Rin and Hisao are lying on the floor, looking at the stars, there's a piece of paper on the floor showing a sketch drawing of Rin fighting Lilly, who's wielding her cane like a sword.
  • Although the context is complete Tear Jerker territory (quite literally for Rin), Hisao's narration manages to lighten the mood:
    ...I had forgotten Newton, of all things. The gravitational force is inversely proportional to the square of the distance between the objects... So if two people feel something for each other... Heh. Even though feelings are not governed by the constants of the universe, I can't help thinking that for some time now I've been a satellite to Rin's brightly shining planet. Planet Rin. The thought makes me almost laugh, she really does seem to be from another planet at times, minus green skin and possibly some tentacles.
  • During Rin's Good Ending (set the morning after her second H-scene), Hisao struggles to put Rin's bra back on her. Rin not only successfully talks backwards for a couple of sentences (confusing the hell out of Hisao), but follows it up with this:
    Rin: "Emi is better than you at this."
    Hisao: "Yeah well excuse me, could that be because she is a girl and can actually relate?"
    Rin: "I don't think so, she has just about as much chest as you do."

Emi's route

  • The Sitting on the Roof scene in Act 1 with Rin and Emi:
    Hisao: Wow, you must be really hungry!
    Emi: Yeah, my morning run really works up my appetite. Which is great, because then I burn through lunch pretty quickly! Helps me keep my girlish figure.
    Rin: What would happen if you lose it? Would you become a man?
    Emi: It's a figure of speech!
  • Emi telling Hisao and Rin that she put down "Pirate" for what she wanted to do after graduating. And the subsequent pirate impression:
    Emi: "Yarr, me hearties, give 'em a broadside with the long guns! We'll wear their guts for garters!"
    Rin: "Do you even know what that means?"
    Emi: "Not really. But it's all in the delivery!"
  • During Emi's route, Mutou's talk to Hisao about his plans for his future is quite funny:
    Hisao: You're saying I should study science at university?
    Mutou: Well, sort of. You could also join the science club! (pause) Trouble is, there's not actually a science club. But there could be! You could even be a charter member! A founding father! Of course, you'd need to find other members. (pause) Well, only if you wanted to. We could just start it up with the two of us. And um. (pause) I could give you things to read, and we could talk about them. Er, and I could help you get ready for university and such as well. (pause) Wait! (tosses book to Hisao) Read that! If it's interesting, then we can talk about it.
    "A Brief History of Time"? I don't know if I actually want to read this, but Mutou seems pretty excited about it.
    Hisao: What's it about?
    Mutou: Time. Space. Space-time. Black holes and such.
  • Emi saying that the "runner's high" is Better Than Sex.
  • Shizune's incredibly wordy (well, as wordy as someone can be with Sign Language) and pompous rant on public displays of affection (with translation by Misha) and Hisao's equally wordy and pompous response:
    Misha: "While we are pleased, nay thrilled, to see how well you've managed to make new friends and forge relationships - and with such a cutie too, Hicchan~..."
    I think that last part was probably Misha.
    Shizune: "..."
    Misha: "We nevertheless feel compelled to politely remind you that public displays of affection are strictly forbidden - really? That's disappointing, Shicchan - by section eight of the code of conduct laid out in the student handbook."
    Shizune: "..."
    Misha: "In this case, however, ignorance of the law may be your excuse, as we are feeling lenient..."
    Shizune: "..."
    Misha: "...and the paperwork required to punish the both of you would only add to the already mountainous volume of work which confronts us, the sole members of the Student Council - and besides, you two are adorable together~!"
    Shizune: "..."
    Misha: "Therefore consider this a formal warning, and please refrain from such displays in the future. At least when Shizune can see you, Hicchan~!"
    This whole spiel is so patently ridiculous that I can't help but reply in the same pompous manner.
    Hisao: "Well, I for one feel enlightened. I apologize profusely for my rash actions and will strive to contain my baser impulses which, I fear, impel me toward such inappropriate displays of public affection. It is hardly my wish to burden an already overworked Student Council with such petty matters, and will do my best to make your lives easier in this matter in the future. At least, when Shizune's watching."
  • "Anal." To sum it up, Emi's second H-scene, which consists of Emi and Hisao having anal sex in the school shed after the (gay) track captain recommended the experience to Emi, is hilarious. It's clear that neither Hisao nor Emi have any idea what they're doing at all. At one point Hisao says that Emi's facial expression is "almost comical". That's an understatement.
    • We're never doing this again.
    • Afterwards, Emi remarks that its a good thing she's in a wheelchair - now she won't have to explain to the nurse why she's walking funny.
    • Even before the scene, Hisao knocking Emi out of her wheelchair provokes her to make him promise that he'll never work at a hospital.
    • When discussing why the captain has lubricant stored in the shed:
    Emi: Obviously he uses it for, you know. (crude facial expression) Anal.
    • Some of the best lines come from after the scene:
    Emi: Yeah, I'm going to have words with the captain. He was clearly lying.
    Either [the nurse] didn't notice, or he didn't want to notice. All the same, I'm going to have to make sure he didn't slip cyanide into my medication for a little while.
  • Hisao hears that Rin caught Emi's cold, and worries that he might be at risk too:
    Hisao: It would make sense, after all. Emi and I were in close contact the other day...
    So what did she and Rin do that got her ill?
    ...
    Steady on, old lad. Don't go down that road.
  • Hisao imitating a date with Emi if she keeps refusing to see the nurse:
    "How's the food, Hisao?" "Talk to the nurse, Emi."
    "How was your day, Hisao?" "Talk to the nurse, Emi."
    "Hisao, I think I'm ready to go all the w-" "Talk to the nurse, Emi."
  • Hisao's visit to the Shanghai with Rin and Emi in the former's route gets a particularly hilarious twist if you've played Emi's route first. More specifically, her choice of pie gets a particularly hilarious twist.
  • After Emi gets a leg infection and is wheelchair-bound, Hisao comes to her room. While helping her into bed:
    She's actually a little heavier than she looks. It would be rude of me to observe this aloud, of course.
    Hisao: Man, you're kind of heavy.
    SMACK (She hits him with a pillow)
    Emi: Ass.
    • He also smacks his head on the wall when Emi kisses him a few minutes later.
  • Rin casually walking in on a half-naked Emi and Hisao after they (kinda) have sex for the first time, saying she needs to use Emi's window to look for a cloud that had passed her own window, then walking out without even seeming to notice that Emi is clad only in panties. Mind you, she probably DIDN'T notice. After all, she doesn't consider it to be inappropriate to answer her own door clad only in panties and an unbuttoned shirt.
    Rin: I saw a cloud.

Lilly's route

  • Early in the route, Emi getting Hisao into a deal where they both agree to share their English test results on the count of three, only for Hisao to do what anyone would do in that situation. Emi's reaction is wonderful:
    Emi: Alright, on the count of three. One...Two...Three! Thirty Two!
    Hisao: *silent grin*
    Emi: Ah! Evil! Evil, evil, evil, evil!
    • A couple of paragraphs later, we get this gem:
    She looks and sounds like a small terrier growling at an intruder. I can't say it's the most threatening sight I've seen.
  • Just after Lilly, Hisao and Hanako arrive at the Satou summerhouse:
    Hisao: "Where should we put our bags?"
    Lilly: "I'll show Hanako our bedroom. You can put yours here, if you like."
    Hanako flowers into a full blush as Lilly takes her cheek in her hand.
    Lilly: "Oh my, how bold."
    Hisao: "Hold on, if I'm to leave my bags here, where will I be sleeping?"
    Lilly: "Well, seeing as we lack a guest bedroom..."
    Lilly: "Sorry, Hisao."
  • Lilly insisting that she merely has a "healthy adolescent sex drive" when Hisao learns that she's a Covert Pervert.
  • Lilly's sister Akira can be hilariously frank at times, such as just after learning that Hisao and Lilly are dating:
    Akira: Oh yeah, I almost forgot to tell you. Use protection. Every time.
    (Hisao gags on his drink)
    Lilly: We are, don't worry.
    Akira: 'Atta girl. Seeyas.
  • In her third H-scene, Lilly blindfolds Hisao and tells him to touch her as part of a small game. He walks around the room for a bit, hears Lilly dart past him and turns to grab her, only to collide with the table and fall over. This follows:
    I slowly sit up next to the table, raising my blindfold as I rub my aching head. I give an irritated kick to the table that's sitting just in front of where I fell. Utterly pointless, but the thing deserved it.

Shizune's route

  • When Shizune and Misha corner Hisao on the third day he mentions that the only escape would be to jump out of the window. To any Genre Savvy players who are hoping for a Crazy Awesome option he says the following:
    Sadly, jumping out the window wasn't the best option
  • The opening artwork for Shizune's Act 2 has Hisao in the background, plummeting upside-down off a literal tower of paperwork.
  • Hisao and Shizune throw Rock-Paper-Scissors over which one of them should have a veal cutlet bread. They tie. Seventeen times.
    • The great part about this is the final time, in which Shizune declares that she has figured out Hisao's mindset and will definitely win next time. They tie again, resulting in Shizune getting a Flat "What" expression on her face and Misha (and the player) doubled over laughing.
  • Occasionally, but rarely, Shizune gets an evil cat eyes expression (>:3). When it does pop up, you'll be busting into laughter.
    • This one appears only once, and it's just as funny if not more! (°^°)
  • Shizune's over-the-top rant on the new council at the end of her route. "They're like a heavily-marketed but mediocre, big budget, critically panned sequel to the acclaimed, low budget Sleeper Hit".
  • Hisao's Tactful Translation of Shizune and Lilly's second argument.
    • [I'LL DEVOUR YOU!!]
  • During the fishing outing in Shizune's route.
    Akira: Lilly, what should we call ourselves?
    Lilly: I don't see why it matters.
    Hideaki: (at the same time) I don't think it matters.
    Akira: Team No-Enthusiasm it is...
  • Jigoro's bizarre threat to punch Hisao in the face with brass knuckles that have an abridged version of his autobiography on them.
  • This exchange between Shizune and Hisao, on the subject of the latter learning sign language:
    Hisao: [Well, yeah, it's actually not that easy. It's actually hard as hell. Like trying to pick up broken glass. But in some ways, I guess it's interesting. Like an adventure. Well, no...]
    Shizune: [Picking up broken glass is not an adventure.]
    Hisao: [Sure it is. It's just as challenging.]
    Shizune: [If you use a dustpan and a broom it's not.]
    I feel frustrated and sad.

Misha

  • "Misha, stop doing that! ...Wait, I'm Misha!"
  • Misha and Hisao communicating via a piece of paper during a lesson in Lilly's route:
    Misha: Don't look so bored, Hicchan! School's nearly over! Three-day holiday!
    Hisao: I'm guessing you have something planned?
    Misha: Student council work with Shicchan, of course.
    Misha: But Hicchan could have helped us poor, lonely girls.
    Hisao: I'd lend you a hand for today if I weren't going to be busy.
    Misha: Ooh, naughty naughty Hicchan!
    Hisao: I'm just going to meet Lilly with Hanako. I don't know what you've got going through your head.
    Misha: So Lilly's back?
    Hisao: Yeah, she's coming on the evening flight with her sister, so she'll be back in school next week.
    As she takes the note back and begins to write, I look up to see an unwelcome sight. While I frantically try to silently catch Misha's attention, Mutou confidently strides though the gap between the desks from the front of the class, his intent gaze focused directly on her.
    Misha: "Ah... I..."
    He silently takes the piece of paper from her and begins to read. Sweating bullets, I quickly glance around the class, noting their complete silence. Of course, it would just have to be the one thing that actually gets their attention during the lesson. After a scant few seconds examining the page, he rolls the paper up into a small tube and lightly bops Misha over the head with it.
    Mutou: "Half an hour until you can hop off to the Student Council. I think you can hold on until then."
    Misha's face cracks as the entire class erupts into laughter. He might well be awkward, but he knows how to handle her excellently. I'd probably feel sorry for her if I weren't as busy stifling my own laughter.
  • Misha's Won't Take "Yes" for an Answer late in Lilly's route and Hisao's response.
    Misha: Since we're just two poor little girls that need help with all the work we've been given just before the holidays begin~...
    Hisao: Sure, I can help.
    Misha: But Hicchan, we're really nee- What?
    • And even before that, Misha stressing out prior to exams.
    Misha: Shicchan's going to be fine, but I think I might die. Am I going to die, Hicchan? Will you let me die from all this work?
  • Misha's casual clothing, including a t-shirt with "Bush Cheney 2004" emblazoned on the front.
  • Misha's argument with Jigoro, and the result of what happens when two people with no indoor voice between them get into a shouting match.
  • At one point, Misha bursts in to Mutou's room, saying that they need more plywood to build stalls for the festival. Then this happens:
    Looking at the two of them communicate is terrible, like looking at a man being tortured by drilling his skull open while blasting pop music at full volume at the same time.

Hanako's route

  • Early in the route:
Hanako follows me through the still-crowded halls to the library, using me as a shield. As soon as we are through the door, Hanako bolts for the counter, where Yuuko is stacking books. Before I can catch up, Hanako has whispered something to her.
Yuuko: "Um, you'd find that in non-fiction, but I don't know where, exactly. If you want I can look it up..."
Hanako: "N-never mind."
Hisao: "Hey Yuuko, what's all this about?"
Yuuko: "Oh, Hisao... Hanako was just looking for a book on..."
Hanako: "N-nothing..."
Hisao: "A book on nothing? In the non-fiction section?"
Hanako: "I... I was just..."
I shoot a glance at Yuuko. She looks like she's about to burst from the pressure of keeping Hanako's request secret.
Hisao: "Yuuko, what did..."
  • Hanako having a bit too much to drink at her birthday party. Her normally cautious and concerned facial expressions are replaced by a big dumb open-mouthed smile, and a silly looking pout. It's somewhat amusing to see her act so out of character.
    Hanako suddenly hiccups and accidentally knocks over the doll.
    Hanako: I...think I should maybe go to bed. T-thank you, Hisao, thanks Lilly and Aaaaakiraaaaa.
    She slurs Akira's name pretty hard, barely avoiding breaking out into a giggle midway through. She's completely plastered, and I can't decide whether I should feel a little bad or not for being amused at the state she's in.
  • Even Akira can be serious at times. Like when she and Lilly take Hisao and Hanako to a jazz club on Hanako's route. Lilly, Hisao, and Hanako are all underage, and not technically allowed to be at the bar in the back.
    Bartender: Good evening, ladies! What'll it be?
    Akira: Just a scotch, thanks. Lilly?
    Lilly: May I have a glass of cham-
    A black-suited elbow hits her side sharply.
    Lilly: Orange juice, please.
    • Just remember that the three of them skipped a school day because they got drunk from drinks Akira herself gave them earlier the same week, and this becomes even funnier.
  • Even before her route starts, the fact that Hanako's early appearances have her portrait hanging out at the very edge of the screen before physically slinking off-screen instead of disappearing can be amusing.

Nurse

  • "Hang on a sec, Emi, just let us get our pants back on."
    • Don't worry, there is nothing of that nature going on between the Nurse and Emi. He's just a gadfly and does it for the afraid/disgusted/something-else-entirely reactions Hisao has. In fact, they have a game where he tries to get get Emi as flustered as possible.
  • The nurse joking around with Emi and Hisao in his office. He tries to get Hisao to lift up his shirt to check his heart ("Sorry Emi, I tried to get you a free show.") Then this conversation happens:
    Nurse: "If we don't get you on your way soon, Emi will think we're up to something." (*wink*) ...

    Emi: "What took you so long? Now I'm going to be late!"
    Nurse: "I was just seducing Hisao, that's all." (Hisao tries not to blush.)
    Emi: "What!? Come on, what have I told you about seducing my friends?"
    Nurse: "I'll try not to do it again, though I fear young Hisao may be lost to the female gender forever."
    Hisao: "Not freaking likely."
    (Beat) Then the Nurse and Emi burst out laughing.
    Emi: "I told you he was funny."
  • "I'd prefer not to have any fatalities while I'm on staff here. A bit of a lofty goal, to be sure, but I'm always up for a challenge."
  • And after threatening Hisao ("I know what medication you're on", "Be careful around Emi", etc) again:
    Nurse: "I'd hate for you to be late."
    Hisao: "Huh?"
    Nurse: "Late, as in the late Hisao Nakai."(beat) "Sounded better in my head."
  • He's worried about Emi so he calls her mother: "Meiko, your daughter's being a pain in the ass again."

Others

  • Hisao does a Spit Take after Kenji describes a dictionary as "the medium our ancestors used to look at porn," ruining a book. As he fears having a heart attack over paying 7900 Yen to replace the book, he tells Yuuko "I'm trying out grape cologne!". She not only believes him, but continues to do so in a later scene.
  • The fact that one of the music tracks is literally called "Generic Happy Music."
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