What if the first season of Total Drama was an all-girl, but someone who is not a girl got chosen by accident? When a clerical error accidentally puts Cody Anderson on the list of contestants for an upcoming reality show that's meant to be all young women, Chris McLean gets an idea. He lets the young geek on the show, but on the stipulation that he goes on pretending to be a girl named Cora, and to sweeten the deal he promises that, if he manages to win without being outed by one of the girls, he gets four times the prize money. On one hand, that's a lot of money. On the other hand, if he's found out these girls will tear him limb from limb. Four times the prize money. Ten times the risk.
This fanfic contains examples of the following:
- Accidental Pervert: Cody has made it his mission not to have any of these such moments while on the island just so the girls have less reason to kill him if/when they find out his true gender. Cody has repeatedly failed this mission.
- Accidental Truth: Due to her habit of Accidental Misnaming, Lindsay at one point calls Cody by his real name.
- Aren't You Going to Ravish Me?: Anne Maria is surprised when Cody turns down her (phony) offer to have sex with him later in exchange for helping her get back to camp. When she asks him if he doesn't think she's hot, he tells her that he does, but he knows her personality and that, if he did sleep with her, he'd immediately regret it.
- Be Careful What You Wish For: Anne Maria cares more about fame and the chance to become a "real" celebrity than she does about the money and was willing to do anything to be the most memorable contestant. After her excessive growth, she's assured herself that nobody will ever forget her, but not for any of the reasons she wants them to.
- Beware the Nice Ones: The Sweet Cupcakes are a team made up of some of the nicest, least confrontational girls in the series. However, underestimating them is a good way to lose.
- Blackmail: Anne Maria finds out about Cora's "secret" early on, and decides to cut Cody a deal - he helps her win, and she doesn't tell the others that a boy got onto the show.
- Bifauxnen: For the Halloween Episode, Lindsay is given a dashing prince costume... that is not cut for a girl. The costume is described as being so tight around her chest that she can barely breathe in it
- Breast Expansion: After eating an experimental and untested high-calorie food substitute designed to replace rations, the girls all experience dramatic growth in their breasts, to the point that the least buxom girl on the island post-growth is "only" as big as the bustiest girl had been before their growth.
- Up to Eleven with Anne Maria who, jealous that she's the second smallest girl on the island after the change (at a "measly" H-cup), sneaks off to eat the rest of the food substitute and ends up so ridiculously busty that each breast weighs more than the rest of her, leaving her unable to stand up by herself.
- Broke the Rating Scale: The aforementioned Breast Expansion causes the show's rating to plummet to zero - not because nobody was watching, but because the incident caused the show's ratings to go so high that the Nielsen servers exploded.
- Cold Turkeys Are Everywhere: Cody is pretending to be a girl on an island covered in cameras, so he can't risk doing anything that would get him out as a guy. Including... certain things. He can go without that for a while, right? Well, he could... if he weren't on an island surrounded by gorgeous girls who were doing challenges designed to highlight their attractiveness. If Cody hadn't found the one spot on the island where he could get some peace, he swore his nuts would explode.
- Didn't Think This Through: When threatening to tell everybody that Cora was actually Cody, Cody tells Anne Maria that she's waited so long to use her blackmail against him that, if she actually did tell the others, then they would also realize that she knew there was a boy on the island for a long time and said nothing, which will make her just as guilty as he is.
- Distracted by the Sexy: Happens more than a few times with Cody despite trying to control himself. Though it doesn't affect his performance in the challenges much... until an equally distracted Lindsay decides to start making out with him in the middle of a challenge as soon as they're out of the camera's view.
- Dude, Where's My Respect?: When Anne Maria demands Cody to speak to her with the respect she deserves, he tells her that he is speaking to her like that, and the fact that she doesn't deserve any respect is her own fault.
- Fake Boobs: In order for Cody's disguise to work, the show gives him the stuff to make it easier to disguise himself, including a pair of fake breasts realistic enough to hold up to the scrutiny of an island full of women. However, it's not realistic enough for someone to ignore that, despite "Cora's" clothes clinging to every part of "her" with sweat, her chest is totally dry.
- Fan Disservice: Unlike the other girls, Anne Maria's excessive Breast Expansion is not played for sex appeal, as her breasts grow well past the point they could ever be attractive. Her skin stretches so much that there are gaps in her fake tan, veins are clearly visible just under it, and they are painfully bloating with milk, threatening to seriously injure her if the pressure is not relieved.
- Fanservice: Chris doesn't even pretend to hide the fact the show is built around this. It's both better and worse for the girls since it means he's unwilling to do have any of the challenges be particularly gross or disgusting like in canon if it means it would make the girls look less attractive to the audience.
- Future Food Is Artificial: Colonel Saunders quality, premium grade, high protein, nutrient-enriched food substitute, a heavily processed substance with more calories per teaspoon than a block of butter designed by the US military to feed starving kids in the third world... only to be sent back with a message saying if they sent it again it would be considered an act of war. It was then sent to feed the troops, only to be lost in a military precision "accident" save for one barrel. It doesn't expire, smells like a new car, looks like a combination of the grey stuff, jello, and wet paper mache, the side effects cause sudden rapid growth in certain areas of men and women when eaten, and the skin formed over it is as pliant as rubber. Chef has to smother it in butter, sugar, and pork stock just to mask the taste.
- Gag Boobs: Before their growth, the bustiest girl on the island was Lindsay at a G-cup. After their growth, the least buxom girl on the island is Heather, who is "only" as big as Lindsay had been. While the biggest is an annoyed Courtney who at one point is described as now carrying around pumpkins.
- Lindsay mentions that, after her growth, she's almost as big as her mother. Anna Maria imagines that, if their sudden burst of growth didn't stop their natural development, that means that Lindsay still has a lot of growing to do.
- Anne Maria takes these Up to Eleven by forcing another, more extreme growth and giving herself breasts so big that each individual breast weighs more than the rest of her.
- Gag Penis: While the girl's breasts and behinds grew as a result of the food substitute, Cody had a growth that made it much harder to hide being male, especially when it destroys the special underwear he was wearing that hid it.
- Geeky Turn-On: Cody is turned on when Lindsay shows knowledge of old TV shows and movies by ranting about It (1990), properly identifying it as a mini-series and not a movie and how she couldn't be scared of the same guy who played "Every hammy villain on TV in the nineties."
- Glory Seeker: When Heather and Anne Maria get into an argument about her spending more effort trying to "f**k the camera" and look sexy for the viewers than trying to win the challenge, Anne Maria says she cares more about becoming a real celebrity from this than she cares about the prize money.
- Halloween Episode: The challenge in "Total Halloween" is a race through the woods to collect a Jack O'Lantern while wearing costumes that, depending on how well they knew their horror movie trivia was either a high-quality costume or bargain bin garbage that would hinder them, with the stipulation they can't damage the costumes if they don't want to be knocked out.
- Hidden Depths:
- Lindsay knows a surprising amount about investing and saving money.
- Several of the girls show an in-depth knowledge of horror movies.
- Katie is a skilled seamstress.
- Homage: One of the chapters is entirely based in-universe on Keijo!!!!!!!!.
- I Am Not Pretty: Downplayed. Anne Maria is attractive and knows she's attractive, but she's always been referred to as some crass variation of sexy. Cody is the first guy to ever call her "beautiful," and she admits feels nice to be told that.
- I Didn't Mean to Turn You On: Cody chewing out of Anne Maria when he has finally had enough of her has the effect of making her angrier than she's ever been ... and making her fall for him hard, as she realizes she went from bluffing that she'll have sex with him, to wanting to have sex with him for real.
- It Amused Me: Chef knew the whole time that the snake that had bitten Bridgette on the backside wasn't poisonous yet watched Katie try to Suck Out the Poison to their embarrassment. When asked why he did all that, he said it was because he found it funny.
- Karmic Jackpot: After all the crap he put up with from Anne Maria, "Cora" gets a love confession and a kiss from Lindsay, who still kisses him even after it's revealed that "Cora"'s actually Cody.
- Lemon: In a separate "what-if" side story, Anne Maria doesn't accept Cody's refusal to have sex with her. She confesses her feelings for him, tells him a matter of factly that they're a couple now, and threatens to go to his house and tell his parents she's his girlfriend, then demands he make love to her. He complies and ends up doing such a good job that the next time they see each other after the contest, she tells him she's pregnant.
- Loophole Abuse: Chris said they weren't allowed to damage their costumes. Katie doesn't "damage" her team's costumes, she "modifies" them using their existing material. Though Chris might have complained more if her alterations of the costumes into sexier versions of themselves hadn't caused a spike in ratings.
- Marshmallow Hell: Cody isn't the only one of her new friends that Lindsay hugs into her chest and unintentionally motorboats, he's just the one she does it to the most frequently
- Mistaken for Gay:
- The other contestants start to suspect that Cora and Anne Maria might be gay and in a relationship, not realizing that the reason they are so close is that Anne Maria is blackmailing Cody.
- Lindsay starts to suspect this about herself when she realizes she likes Cora as more than a friend , to the point that she even confesses to "her."
- Nightmare Sequence: Several chapters open with Cody having a wet dream about his situation, only for them to turn into nightmares thanks to his worry about what the girls will do to him if they find out, guilt about feeling like he's taking advantage of them, and his growing fear of Anne Maria.
- Nutritional Nightmare: Chris's flan bust from the dare challenge. It's made of twelve different varieties of chocolate from white to as dark as possible, has more calories per square inch than a triple bacon cheeseburger and more sugar than twelve pints of cookie dough ice cream, and the brain is two pounds of pure caramel and has a millefeuille for a tongue.
- Pimped-Out Dress: Cody, after failing the trivia portion of the Halloween challenge, is given a massive poofy dress with so many layers of petticoats and delicate parts that he'd hardly be able to move even if he didn't have to worry about damaging it.
- Pride: Anne Maria's Fatal Flaw. She wanted to be the hottest and most memorable girl on the island, so she stole the remaining food substitute. She didn't have to eat all of it to become the bustiest girl on the island - just a little would have done it. She ate it all anyway because she didn't want to risk anybody else getting any and become more buxom than her, which caused her to end up how she did.
- Sauna of Death: The "Beat The Heat" challenge has the girls try to outlast each other in a sauna that Chris keeps turning up the heat and tempting them to give up.
- Sex for Services: Only one half of Anne Maria's control over Cody is blackmail. The other half is promising to give him "all the attention he wants" if he helps her win.
- Secret Identity Vocal Shift: The third piece of Cody's Cora disguise is a collar that both hides his adam's apple and makes him sound more feminine.
- Soccer-Hating Americans Chris asks who amongst them likes Soccer. Zoey responds by saying that she likes football. When Chris corrects her and says he's talking about Soccer, Zoey corrects him and says no, he's talking about real football.Chris: Okay, I know that we've lost all of our American viewers. The rest of you?
- When she keeps correcting their use of "soccer" with football, Chris tells her to not be "That Guy" and Chef punts the ball into her stomach with a confessional, making it clear he did it on purpose.
- Finally, Chris decides to cut the challenge short with sudden penalties, because he really doesn't want to have to watch any more soccer than he has to.
- Something Else Also Rises: Cody was given a special pair of underwear by Chris that hides his guy parts, though that doesn't stop him from getting into situations in the times he's not wearing them. His underwear is destroyed when the food substitute makes him grow differently from the girls, and he has to resort to a mixture of self-control, cold water, and tucking himself like Hannibal Lecter.
- Surprisingly Realistic Outcome:
- After their growth, the girls all have difficulty due to the sudden change in their weight and center of balance. The challenge after the growth was changed to be an exercise heavy one to help them adjust. When Anne Maria goes through an intentional second growth, her chest becomes too heavy for her to even stand up without help.
- None of the characters have Magic Pants. When the growth starts, most of their clothes are either destroyed or are now too small to properly wear note . Chris is forced to stop the show's filming until Katie can make some temporary outfits from their old clothes, and have more clothes brought over to the island to avoid any incidents.
- When Bridgette is bitten on the butt by a snake, it turns swollen and purple. Katie starts to suck the wound until Chef shows up and says that the snake wasn't poisonous. When Katie asks why it looked so bad if it wasn't poison, he says it's because she was just bitten by a snake. A fresh snakebite is going to look bad, even if the snake wasn't poisonous.
- Despite the show's main selling point being "hot girls doing hot challenges", whenever something especially risque happens, Chris will yell for it to be censored. They are still a daytime reality show, after all, so they need to censor certain things in order to not get in trouble. Additionally, like any other live-broadcasted TV show, they have a gap between filming and broadcast in order to censor anything they're not allowed to show.
- Men aren't the only ones with "needs" that get harder to deal with when they're forced to go without them for an extended period of time. Once she finds out Cody's secret, Lindsay's first reaction is to pin him to a tree and start making out with him and admit that she's been sexually frustrated for weeks, too.
- Suck Out the Poison: When Bridgette is bitten by a snake on her butt, Katie offers to suck the bite just in case the snake was poisonous. It wasn't poisonous, it just looked bad because it was a snake bite.
- Sweet Polly Oliver: Cody has done a pretty good job of not being caught out as a guy (the only two women who knew were Anne Maria, who caught him with his pants down and Lindsey, whom Cody told outright). He does so good that he's able to get third place in the swimsuit contest challenge, just behind Anne Maria and Lindsay.
- Teeth-Clenched Teamwork: While the Bad Bitches are more driven and aggressive than the Sweet Cupcakes, which should have resulted in nonstop victories for them, what lets them down is their unwillingness to work together. None of them are willing to be led by someone else and nobody has anybody's back, and this refusal to work as a team and frequent infighting has helped the Sweet Cupcakes more than once. In contrast, the less confrontational personalities of the Sweet Cupcakes allow them to work together as a team with next to no issue.
- Tempting Fate: When Katie's cheap costume turns out to be a cute female Indiana Jones costume, she wonders out loud how it's supposed to hinder her in the challenge... only for pieces of fake treasure she's carrying to fall out her bag, and she realizes they're also a part of her costume she can't lose if she doesn't want to be disqualified, and the bag it's all being held in is a few stitches away from bursting and spilling its contents everywhere.
- That Wasn't a Request: When it looks like Anne Maria is going to cost her team the basketball game, Heather tells her that, if they lose, Anne Maria is getting kicked off the team. When Anne Maria tries to refute it, Heather tells her she wasn't asking a question, it's not up for debate, and she has no say in the matter - if the Bad Bitches lose, Anne Maria will be voted off.
- The Reason You Suck: Heather delivers one to Anne Maria about how hard she's trying to look good for the camera. Telling the girl to quit it since she's nothing that hasn't been seen a thousand times on other reality shows, and she's not special in any way that another contestant isn't more "more" special in than her, all she's doing is embarrassing herself.Heather: Let me straighten this out for you. You have nothing. You're not anything that the people at home haven't seen a thousand times before ever since "reality TV" first started. You're not smart enough to be hated. Or dumb enough for everyone to feel sorry for you. You're not driven enough for people to root for you. And that little act where you pretend you're in one continuous cheesecake photoshoot? I guarantee that you're the last of us who'll probably be looked up online because putting yourself out like that only makes everyone sorry for you. You're not even the prettiest.
(She nods over to Lindsay, who was talking to Katie)
Heather: Or the "biggest."
(She nods to Courtney, who huffs and folds her arms under her bust)
Heather: You're just a forgettable nobody. And when you get home. Nobody is going to get in touch because as far as I'm concerned, you don't have anything everyone hasn't already seen.
(She pulls back and walks back to the center of the court)
Heather: So either get in it to win it. Or lose the only chance you'll ever have at fortune.
- Cody delivers an absolutely brutal one to Anne Maria after one too many insults while he's trying to help her. When she then tries seducing him into helping her he tells her she might be one of the most beautiful girls he's ever met on the outside but she's "an ugly bitch" on the inside.
- Wardrobe Malfunction: For being the most conservative girl on the island, Courtney has her bare chest exposed twice. If the show didn't have a fifteen-minute delay to censor out anything too risque, then she would have flashed who knows how many viewers on live TV.
- What You Are in the Dark: Cody had every reason to just leave Anne Maria in the cave, humiliated and utterly helpless after all the crap she's pulled on him. Yet once he's had his rant at her, he still helps her get back to camp.
- Villainous Crush: Anne Maria realizes that, after being chewed out by Cody for being a manipulative bitch, she's gone from pretending that she wants to sleep with him so she can control him, to actually wanting to sleep with him.