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Religious tolerance has its limits, even in America.
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The Beautiful Game of Association Football is the world's game. Nearly every country on Earth loves it.

For a long time, one major exception to this was the United States of America, who only loved the traditional American team sports of baseball, basketball, Ice Hockey, and their own game, often called just football (a.k.a. gridiron). However, since the 1970s, numerous attempts have been made to make the sport more popular in the States, and it has slowly made some major inroads: America has a fairly successful domestic league; the FIFA video game series is incredibly popular; their women's national soccer team has won three FIFA Women's World Cups (with their most recent win in 2015); the men's team has vastly improved from joke team to a well disciplined squad that can take on the world's best; and many children grow up playing it. note  It probably helps that many chunks of the US have big Hispanic populations, who love the sport. However, in spite of all of that, soccer still lags well behind other sports in America in terms of popularity, and it has nowhere near the religious fervor it has in other countries.

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The attempts to grow the sport in America have also met widespread resistance in some circles. Many Americans just plain don't like the sport — considering it boring, hard to follow, and just plain confusing. This is because American sports are all about individual plays, whereas soccer is a game more about flow and the dynamic as a whole. And this is reflected in the media, where American characters will often go out of their way to bash the sport for all of the above (as well as the players' propensity for faking injuries). Another problem with soccer in American eyes are the low scores. Baseball and hockey are "low scoring" if they end 3-1. In American Football, a game that does not go into double digits is considered low scoring, and in basketball, triple-digit games are a common occurrence. In soccer, the tendency over the last decades has been towards lower scores. note  The last thing that irks Americans about soccer (and is frequently mentioned in anti-soccer rants) is its propensity for ties. True, there may be a draw or two in every NFL season, and hockey games frequently end in ties, but sport fans in the US tend to want games where there's a clear winner and a clear loser.

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Another possibility is that the soccer fandom is just too splintered within the United States. The first group are young women who play the sport in childhood, but are discouraged from continuing with it because there are more lucrative sports scholarships in other sports. Athletes who have played on the women's US soccer team have mentioned this fact. The second group are immigrants who brought their love for soccer with them. They stay loyal to the soccer teams in their homelands, they'll even play the game at local parks during the weekends, but they will not attend American games. The next group after that are Europhiles who want to appear more worldly to their peers and people outside the United States. They'll pick a European team and follow it religiously while looking dimly on American teams. They'll know all the statistics for their chosen team and will read the Daily Mail just to keep abreast of rankings and game results. However, they won't actually sit down and watch a game unless it's the World Cup or they are watching it with their European friends. The final group is domestic soccer fans. They will follow their local professional team and will attend USSF games when given the chance. These splintered groups of American soccer fans rarely interact with each other except during the World Cup.

A specific example of Americans Hate Tingle.

Interestingly enough, there is another sport, that is beloved in Europe (where it was invented) and enjoys rabid and devoted fan support, yet most Americans have never heard of it and if they hear the name they think of an entirely different sport. However, said sport is mostly unknown in the rest of the Anglosphere too. And that sport would be? Handball. The Sports Guy was even impressed by it.


Examples:

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    Advertising 
  • Back in 2013 and 2014, NBC promoted their Premier League coverage with Ted Lasso, a fictional American football coach played by Jason Sudeikis picked to manage Tottenham Hotspur in England.
    Lasso: {screaming at ref} Will you explain to me how that was offside?! ...No, I'm asking you seriously, explain offside to me.

    Comic Books 
  • Exploited in an Archie Comics story. After sabotaging Archie's football tryouts and not wanting him to get sympathy from the girls for it, Reggie convinces Archie to switch to soccer, knowing that nobody in their school pays attention to that. For a time, Reggie gets all the sports glory to himself, but his plan backfires. After Archie becomes the star of the soccer team, the football team borrows him as a placekicker (soccer players really do sometimes become football kickers in Real Life), and he and not Reggie is hailed as the hero of the game.

    Films — Animation 
  • In The Simpsons Movie, when Homer is on his spirit journey, one of the epiphanies he suggests is "America will never embrace soccer."
  • In Flushed Away, an American tourist rat (in a cowboy hat) is watching the World Cup final game along with the other rats in the underground city. He asks why there's no helmets, no quarterback, and why no one is picking up the ball. "I tell ya, these Brits don't know the first thing about football."

    Films — Live-Action 
  • The Big Green: When a teacher from England tries to get the kids to play soccer, they are initially confused and disinterested (one of them even points out that footballs are supposed to be lemon-shaped, when she shows a soccer ball to them and refers to it as a football). Most of the film is spent showing the children's growth in skill and appreciation for the game. On the other hand, the team they're facing off against all take soccer very seriously, partly thanks to their coach acting like a Drill Sergeant Nasty.
  • In Coming to America, the Akeem's Love Interest's Jerk Ass boyfriend disses soccer, claiming he has no respect for any game, where players don't use their hands.
  • Final Score has an American soldier fighting mercenaries in a UK football (soccer) stadium, so naturally a number of jokes revolve around this.

    Literature 
  • Parodied by way of Fictional Sport versions in Quidditch Through the Ages, which explains that in the United States, the wizarding sport Quidditch has been supplanted by an American variant called Quodpot. Not true universally, though, as Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire mentions American spectators at the Quidditch World Cup.
  • A subtle jab at soccer is made in Jon Stewart's Earth (The Book), where the author attempts to explain what sports are to the hypothetical alien readers. He tries to describe the joy, with which spectators watch players score... or, in case of soccer, not score.
  • Columnist Mike Royko once relayed a conversation he had with his (fictional) friend Slats Grobnik on why most Americans don't take soccer seriously. Slats thought the biggest problem was that hitting the ball with your head is legal in soccer, but looks undignified to Americans.
    "In our popular sports, what do we do if a ball bounces off somebody's head — an outfielder or a pass receiver or a point guard? We laugh at them because it looks goofy. Except in bowling, where we'd have to bury him."
  • The "baseball-hating Europeans" inversion is seen in Star Trek: The Completely Useless Encyclopedia, where the British writers diss Benjamin Sisko's favourite pastime as the second most boring sport in the world. In defiance of UK stereotypes, however, the sport they think beats it is "bloody cricket".

    Live-Action TV 
  • The Colbert Report: In advance of the 2014 World Cup, Colbert announced that he was feeling "the soccer equivalent of excitement."
    Stephen: (after America lost in the World Cup finals) First up, big news from World Cup soccer: we don't have to care about it anymore!
  • Last Week Tonight with John Oliver:
    • When John Oliver explained the various FIFA corruption scandals, he acknowledged to his American audience that they might not understand how serious the situation was because "in this country soccer is something you pick your 12-year-old daughter from," as opposed to the rest of the world where it's a religion.
    • In 2015, when several FIFA members got arrested thanks to an FBI investigation, John noted how interesting it was that a country which cared so little about soccer was so instrumental in saving it from corruption.
  • Mad Men: When Lane announces that England has just won the '66 World Cup, Roger replies, "...cup of what?"
  • Sports Night has a subversion, where Dan, as a sports reporter, has to talk about association football, but has absolutely no knowledge of the sport. When he challenges Natalie to name one team, Natalie and some extras list half a dozen on the Eastern Coast alone, revealing Dan as the only one in the office who doesn't follow the sport.
  • On Modern Family, Gloria is rooting for Colombia at a sports bar and gets in a fight with a Dutch fan, prompting Jay to come in and make peace.
    Jay: Why don't you sit down, I send you over a beer, and my wife and I watch from over there. That way, everybody enjoys the game. Except me, because I prefer a game where something happens.
    • He later complained that the game ended tied at one goal each, one of which was an own goal.
  • World's Dumbest... Whenever the show features a clip in which soccer is included — even briefly — much of the cast is quick to add their disdain for the sport in their commentary.
    Nick DiPaolo: Soccer's not boring enough when it's played by humans, let's slow it down even more underwater with fish!
  • Everybody Loves Raymond: Debra Barone's father has pretensions of being a well-travelled polyglot. During one Thanksgiving visit, he switches the TV to a futbol game between two South American sides and waxes lyrical about Association Football. This disgusts the all-American Frank Barone, irritates Robert, and, strangely, bemuses the professional sportswriter Ray Barone. Who, given his profession as newspaper sports journalist, should at least be able to recognise a game of football as most of the world knows it.
  • From The Office (US): Upon finding out that their new boss Charles is a huge soccer fan, both Jim and Andy both lie that they're huge fans as well, despite knowing nothing about it. (Andy at least bothers to do the research, but Jim is out to sea.)
  • This clip from the early '90s British Sketch Comedy series The Mary Whitehouse Experience made fun of how the US had been awarded the upcoming 1994 World Cup despite their version of football being completely different ("a game of rugby between two teams of motorcycle messengers"), before offering their own take on how the Americans would probably go about hosting and covering the event (short version: disgracefully).
  • In The Big Bang Theory episode "The Cornhusker Vortex", where Leonard is trying to learn about American football so he can spend time with Penny, Sheldon is revealed to know all about the sport, and his explanation comes complete with an Ann Coulter-esque (see below) dig at soccer:
    I grew up in Texas. Football is ubiquitous in Texas. Pro football, college football, high school football, peewee football - in fact, every form of football except the original, European football, which most Texans believe to be a Commie plot.
  • 13 Reasons Why: One episode from season 2 has this dialogue:
    Caleb: Wanna take your mind off it all and watch Madrid destroy Barcelona Monday night?
    Tony: What makes you think I like soccer?
    Caleb: You're Mexican and you're gay. How could you not like soccer?
  • When The Grand Tour visited America, the British hosts got into a fight with the local audience over which sport deserved to be called "football". A series of jump cuts implies the argument turned violent and the crowd beat the presenters up. (The same thing had happened the last time the show visited America, only that time it was over the hosts' claim that the RAF was the best air force in the world.)
  • Orange Is the New Black: In "Power Suit", some Dominican inmates take over the television to watch a game of soccer, much to the annoyance of two white inmates:
    The score's been zero-zero for, like, 40 minutes! This shit is boring!
    It's only the most popular sport in the world, but whatever.
    It's not a sport. It's running.

    Music 
  • Italian comedic rock band Elio e le Storie Tese "homaged" in their own way the 1994 USA World Cup with their song "Nessuno allo stadio" (Nobody at the Stadium), about USA's complete lack of interest about the sport, while Europe has long since embraced it. The song also had lyrics like this one: "Look at Lorena Bobbitt, think about her husband: how much interest do you think he holds in the World Cup? None!"

    Stand-up 
  • Inverted in "Gad Elmaleh part en live" by French-Morrocan comedian Gad Elmaleh, who is instead a baseball-hating European.
    I try to understand, but I don't, it's so boring! My buddy and I were watching the game, at one point he told me "let's get some hot-dogs and pizza". We were gone for 25 minutes. When we returned, the same guy was still holding the bat in the same position. Do you know what can happen during a soccer game in 25 minutes? Maybe they sold two players!

    Video Games 
  • The Grand Theft Auto games (made by Scots who at times make their American cities look like Edinburgh, so it's certainly done in a mocking way!) have at least two:
    • In Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, we hear the host of "The Tight End Zone" calling out to fans of various sports before lashing out at soccer fans.
    "Your game is terrible and we don't win at it."
    • Grand Theft Auto V has a couple radio adverts for the Los Santos soccer team practically begging American audiences to watch their games, and providing reasons why they should, including how American crowd chants are boring compared to elaborate and blatantly insulting "European-style" chants, and how the "sophisticated" Europeans can tear up entire cities "in support of their team" while American fans are "too tame" in comparison.
  • If The Player ties with Brock Samson in Poker Night 2, the latter sardonically references the trope with, "A tie? What is this, soccer?"

    Web Original 
  • Many of Cracked writers have taken shots at soccer (describing it as "boring" or "that bullshit thing they call football"), usually leading the comment section to get angry at this Fan Myopia.
  • Most of the jokes in the Honest Game Trailer for the FIFA video game series are about how the narrator finds soccer incomprehensible and boring. He ends it by saying that he probably doesn't understand because he's an American.
  • This set of fake texts from the American Museum of Natural History imagines the museum's famous blue whale as a Soccer Hating American, in contrast to a soccer-loving dinosaur from Argentina. (Well, the model was built for and is displayed in an American museum...)
  • Google featured a series of comical logos during the 2014 World Cup. On a day when the US team was playing, the logo showed the big "G" showing up to a soccer game carrying an American football and wearing a helmet.
  • A common internet joke for soccer fans is to point to American football as a Non-Indicative Name, and it should really be "handegg". After all, which sport uses something shaped like a ball and primarily requires use of your foot? The name "football" was derived in order to distinguish the family of sports bearing that name from sports played on horseback. "Soccer" comes from Oxford University as a shortened form of "Association Football" to distinguish it from "rugby football" or "rugger." To be classified as a "ball" it doesn't have to be spherical and the eggs of several species are indeed perfectly round. Finally, use of the hands is part of the strategy of soccer, as the keeper uses the hands more often than not when given the opportunity and players MUST use their hands for a throw-in.
  • Two Best Friends Play, although they stopped pretending being American a while ago, takes a few shots at the sport every now and then.
    Liam: Yes but England has worse things to deal with.
    Matt: Like what?
    Liam: Like soccer.
  • Downplayed in 1st Generation vs. 2nd Generation Mexicans. The 1st generation Mexican-American guy wants to play football but he brings a soccer ball, which confuses the 2nd generation Mexican-American guy.

    Western Animation 
  • In the The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy episode "Moon the Moon," the alien race expresses this sentiment when putting the main characters into a deathmatch.
    Alien Announcer: You bore us. This is like watching soccer.
  • King of the Hill: Hank disapproves of Bobby's switch from football to soccer, and eventually convinces him to switch back to a proper American sport. The narrative itself shows in spite of Hank's dislike, the kids love soccer because the overzealous new football coach's Training from Hell veered into straight-up abuse, while the soccer coach is a little soft but is otherwise a Nice Guy. That said, Hank's attempt to talk his son out of playing is one of the funniest exchanges between them in the show:
    Hank: Bobby, I didn't think I'd ever need to tell you this, but I would be a bad parent if I didn't: Soccer was invented by European ladies to keep them busy while their husbands did the cooking.
    [Beat]
    Bobby: ...Why do you have to hate what you don't understand?
    Hank: [offended] I don't hate you, Bobby!
    Bobby: I meant soccer.
    Hank: Oh. Oh yeah, I hate soccer, yes.
  • Teen Titans Go! has the episode "Kicking a Ball and Pretending to Be Hurt". It's shown that people only like soccer because they are mind-controlled.
  • It's more out of ignorance than hatred, but in Phineas and Ferb, when Ferb's cousins from England suggest to play football and hold out a ball, Buford "corrects" them saying that they're holding a soccer ball and pulls out an American football. Then when they have the match, he shows up in full helmet and pads and tackles Ferb's cousins every time they have the ball.
  • The Simpsons:
    • "The Cartridge Family" opens with a whole slew of Take Thats at the game; a soccer tournament comes to town and the crowd quickly descends into a several-day public riot purely because they're so bored. (There's also a slightly mean-spirited joke about the contest deciding "which is the greatest country in the world: Mexico, or Portugal?")
      TV Announcer: The Continental Soccer Association is coming to Springfield! It's all here — fast-kickin', low scorin'. And ties? You bet!
    • It's the complete disinterest in the sport that allows Homer to become the perfect referee at the World Cup in Brazil. Along with his commitment to Lisa, he's adamant about refusing any and all bribes, which the sport openly embraces.
    • When Homer becomes a pundit in "Politically Inept, with Homer Simpson", soccer is one of the things he speaks ill of.

     Real Life 
  • Garrison Keillor on the drawbacks of living in Europe:
    "But still there were gaps that couldn’t be filled: Danish rock-and-roll is too studied, and politics is way sedate, and in football, you can’t pick up the ball and carry it — you must push it around with your feet or bounce it off your head, which is ridiculous."
  • During one World Cup, a sports bar in New York City proudly advertised the fact that it would not be showing any games during the course of the tournament.
  • Despite this trope, many soccer fans, especially European ones, agree the role the U.S. played regarding with the corruption cases that affected the FIFA, even if some of the them also agree the only reason the American went involved in the whole deal was to find a way to prevent Russia to host the 2018 World Cup, something not only they failed by a mile, but also ironically enough the American soccer team failed to qualify to the tournament, for the amusement of many. On the other hand, many people are still arguing if the inclusion of the VAR (Video Assisted Replay), a feature normally included in American sports like American football, and never considered to use in soccer for cultural reasons, is still considered a good idea, due to the very insistence of the American sponsors of including it.

Alternative Title(s): Americans Hate Soccer

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