We've switched servers and will be updating the old code over the next couple months, meaning that several things might break. Please report issues
Funny Main WebVideo YMMV
Vision of Escaflowne Abridged
The Abridged Series
The Vision of Escaflowne
, turn Hitomi
, make Van
Wrong Genre Savvy
, and turn the
(not Dilandau, who's just as crazy as in the original series).
Now finished, it delivers the laughs as well as the earlier series,
Courtesy link. Provides examples of: Adaptation Displacement: Van is a big fan of ...yet he doesn't even know there Lord of the Rings was a book series by that name. Van: No it wasn't! I should know, I watched all three extended editions back-to-back once. Best two years of my life! Adorkable: Van. All Girls Want Bad Boys: Hitomi points this out to Van when has trouble trying to be Wangsty over his evil brother. Hitomi: Wow, Van, that's actually a really mature and well-adjusted way to look at it... Van: Hey, thanks! Hitomi: ...And do you know how many fangirls mature, well-adjusted characters usually get? Van: Fifty thousand! Hitomi: Lower. Van: Five hundred? Hitomi: Lower. Van: Square root of negative one? Hitomi: ...Okay, higher and...less imaginary. Van: ...Zero? Hitomi: Bingo! Now, angst! Angst like you've never angsted before! Analogy Backfire: Zig Zagged. And This Is for...: parodied in the fight leading to the angst coma. Van This is for Freid! Dilandau Cesta! Van For Balgus! Dilandau S- Stop that! Van For my parents! Dilandau What the hell, man?! We didn't even do anything to your parents! Angrish: Folken is reduced to this upon learning that Hitomi's powers could have saved him all the time and effort he sunk into building his own fate alteration engine. Angst Coma: The Trope Namer. Van goes into one after Escaflowne is damaged, and Dilandau after Van slaughters his /her Dragon Slayers. Angst? What Angst?: Lampshaded In-Universe. Hitomi: Oh yeah, I guess I just don't think about [Van's tragic backstory] because you're all happy-go-lucky all the time. I mean, would it kill you to mope about it a little more? Authority in Name Only: Dornkirk Ax-Crazy: Dilandau to the max. Bad Liar: Allen sucks at hiding the whole "bastard child with Marlene" thing. Bad Boss: Dilandau to his subordinates. Bait and Switch: Dryden needs a book that Allen owns, but Allen won't give it up. Millerna offers to get it for him. Dryden: Do I want to know how you intend to do that? Millerna: A woman never reveals her methods. (Unzips blouse.)
(Cut to later, fully clothed.) Millerna: Hey Allen, we're totally out of toilet paper. Can I borrow this book? Allen: Sure. Millerna: Killer. Bishōnen: Allen, Van, Amano, Dilandau, Dryden, Folken.... Blasphemous Boast Hitomi: Allen, you took a tentacle attack for me! Allen: Kinda makes what Jesus did seem pretty piddly, doesn't it? Hitomi: Hey, don't make fun of Jesus! Blasphemy's a sin. Allen: Yeah, but didn't Jesus die for those? Think what a waste that'd be if I never committed any. Blood Knight: Van loves pointless fight sequences. Brain Bleach: Episode 16 has Hitomi's furious mental request for mental soap upon learning that Allen might be her second cousin. Calling the Old Man Out: Allen does not pull any punches when he meets his father's ghost. The Cameo: Ghost Nappa! Zuko and Iroh appear in Merle's mind the first time Hitomi is kidnapped, the second time Katara and Sokka appear.
Katara: Do something optimistic!
Sokka: Do something skeptical! It's what SCIENCE would want.
Merle: STOP, STOP, STOP WITH THE VOICES! Captain Obvious Van: Hey, Hitomi, you're a girl, right? Catch Phrase: "Snickety Slice!" Which in itself is from Tenacious D Wolverine Mallrats various places. And, of course, "Beefcake!" Van and Hitomi throw some flak at each other for their catchphrases Hitomi: Was it all just a dream? Or maybe a vision...No, it was re- Van: Whoa, whoa! Is that supposed to be your catchphrase or something? Because you sound like Descartes after a big, heaping helping of stupid. Hitomi: What about you? "Snickety slice"? What are you, Wolverine's inbred stoner cousin? Dornkirk has "OI! FOLKEN!" Chocolate Baby: "Prince Chid is my son... What? My genes are just recessive, that's all. All of them." Cloud Cuckoo Lander: Dornkirk. Couch Gag: The Opening Theme. Covert Pervert: "Yes! Make me a woman, mysterious naked savior!" The Dark Side Embrace the Shoujo side of the fandom! Death Equals Redemption: Allen's father's ghost hopes for a literal case. Subverted when it doesn't. Allen's father: Can you forgive me, son? Allen: Hell no! You're a horrible person who abandoned his family to hook up with an underage girl. Just because you got your idiot self killed right after doesn't change that. Description Cut: Folken warns Van that Dilandau is crazy and NOT to get on his bad side. Van: That's cool. I mean, we've had to fight a couple of times, but he knows it's nothing personal. Determinator: Spoofed with Van. Van: I'll never run from an enemy! ...Except for that one time when I ran from an enemy and ended up here. But that's the limit of my running from enemies! Deus ex Machina: Lampshaded in the finale when Asturia asks The Cavalry not to use the alchemy bomb on Zaibach because the whole situation seems like one of these. This prompts the commander to a rant about all the blood, sweat, and tears the army had expended in acquiring and arming the bomb, justifying it as an established plot point. Unfortunately, it seems the whole thing was cut for screen time. He drops it anyway. Don't Explain the Joke: "Oh, by the way, this is Merle. We keep her around because she's so good at detecting irony." Does Not Understand Sarcasm: Several characters, particularly Van and Dornkirk. Does This Remind You of Anything?: "But I thought the G-spot was in the Mystic Valley" Double Entendre: the group has fun throwing these over Prince Chid's head when he innocently decides to comment on Allen's "weapon." Van: * snort* She must not have seen many men's weapons. Hitomi: Van... Millerna: What Van means is that this sword is just for everyday use. Allen: Yeah, my other weapon is for every night use. Millerna: Allen! Chid: Ooh! May I see this every-night weapon? Allen: Oh, uh, no. I only unsheathe that one when I come upon a beautiful maiden in distress. Chid: You come upon a beautiful maiden every night? Allen: Sometimes twice, if I'm not too- Hitomi and Millerna: SHUT UP ALLEN! Dreaming of Things to Come Hitomi: Van!? You're the mysterious naked savior? Van: Naked? You wish. My wings can come out just fine with my pants still on, thankyouverymuch. Eats Babies: Dilandau Snacks. Exact Words: "If you're truly my son, you'll guard this treasure with your life and the lives of all those that follow you!" Too bad for Duke Freid that Chid is an obvious Chocolate Baby. Earlier, we get this beauty of a conversation. Dilandau: Enough of that, where is Miguel? Zongi: He made a foolish escape attempt and was killed. Dilandau:: You disappoint me, Zongi. Your orders were to rescue him and return him to me, unharmed. Zongi: My orders were to discredit Allen Schezar, and I have carried them out... faithfully. Dilandau: Those that cannot obey my orders must be punished. Dilandau: Of course, I would not dream of giving you one of my little love-taps. Zongi: Good, because I... Executive Meddling: Brought up In-Universe. Van:
The reason you're confused is that the network decided to skip the first episode. It seems that certain...
didn't test well among that crucial, "Has a Penis," demographic.
Hitomi: And that was more important to them than maintaining continuity in the plot? Van:
Fetish Fuel: Lampshaded In-Universe with the " Incestuous Bisexual Ninja Cat Girls!" Foreshadowing: Folken: "Fuck you, Dilandau. Fuck you right in your vagina." Dilandau: "...What an odd thing to say...." Gambit Roulette: The events of the entire series were all part of an elaborate plan by Dornkirk in order to make a sandwich. Genius Ditz: Dornkirk, especially considering he's The Inventor of the Fig Newton and the deadliest Sunuvabitch in space. Genre Savvy: The show has a field day playing with this. For one thing, Hitomi uses this to fake still having Psychic Powers when her actual ones are temporarily blocked. Go-Karting with Bowser Van: Oh, hi, Dilandau! Dilandau: "Hi, Dilandau?" You are facing the implacable enemy who has dogged your footsteps since you've left your homeland, and all you can say is, "Hi, Dilandau!?" Van: Um... it's... nice to see you? Handsome Lech: Allen and his Alternate Reality Counterpart Amano. "If there's one thing I can't stand, it's ugly old men trying to take advantage of young girls. That's for us beautiful men to do." Heel-Face Turn: Folken defects because he's sick of the emperor's bullshit. Hell-Bent for Leather Dilandau: "Damn, I'm sexy. Why haven't I worn leather pants before?" I Am Not My Father: Allen doesn't think so. Hitomi begs to differ. I Am Your Father Folken: Van, I am your brother! If I Wanted X, I Would Y: Spoofed in episode 5, with the ever-so-convenient random anime Take That generator Van: "If I wanted to sleep through half of the episode, I would have watched..."
List of series flashed rapidly:
Serial Experiments Lain
squirrels do it
I Have This Friend: Done transparently by Millerna. then spoofed to the ground when we met Schmallen and Schmitomi. She didn't answered her phone, because Shmuck you. I'll Be in My Bunk: After Folken describes how hot his catgirl girlfriends were, Allen asks if they ever wore little maid outfits. Folken says they did once, for his birthday. Allen said he was going to his room, no visitors. Innocent Innuendo: V Card does not mean what you think it means. Insane Troll Logic: Hitomi in the second round of Passive-Aggressive Kombat.
Intimate Healing Van: That's right! How did you heal Allen back then? Millerna: I don't know, all I did was touch him inappropriately... Van: Worth a try! Ironic Echo: Dornkirk to Folken in the finale. It's Personal: It has to take a catgirl kidnapping Hitomi to get Van to say this.... Allen:
Wait, this is crossing the line? Going over to Zaibach, invading
and Freid, killing your mentor,
kidnapping and drugging you
. All that stuff was cool, but
is eternal vengeance territory?
Van: Is there a problem with that? Allen: Just making sure I understand you. I Want My Beloved to Be Happy: Yukari's projecting just a wee bit too much... Yukari:
He's the most desirable
in school! If you don't make a move now, you may never get another chance!
Hitomi: Uh, actually, it sounds like you're really into him. Are you sure you don't want to make a move on him? Yukari: No! You've loved Amano for years! I could never stand in the way of your happiness... Hitomi: Actually, I just met him today. Are you sure you're not projecting just a little? Yukari: ...Okay, Hitomi. If it's for my best friend, I guess I have no choice. I'll stand aside, and give you a chance at happiness with Amano! Hitomi: Um, okay.... Done again by Dryden to Millerna in the finale. Subverted in that she doesn't hook up with Allen afterward. Played straight with Van, who is willing to step aside for Hitomi twice. First so she can be with Allen, then when he thinks she's about to go home forever. Jive Turkey: Dilandau's late-series henchbeastman, Jajuka, talks like an especially irritable urban stereotype. Don't call him Toby. Karma Houdini: Dilandau, who in the finale is the new . Emperor/Empress of Zaibach, and gets to spend all day bitch slapping people, making people bitch slap each other, and maybe even taking a few him/herself Dilandau: I love my life! Kissing Cousins: Allen's mental response to learning he might be Hitomi's second cousin Allen: Still legal. All right! Lack of Empathy: Van. When he briefly does develop some empathy in one episode, he's convinced it's a superpower. Leitmotif: Kefka's theme plays pretty much anytime Dilandau is onscreen. Also Darth Vader's theme from Star Wars for Folken, Setzer's theme for Allen, Gestahl's theme for Dornkirk, and several others. Like Father, Like Son: Allen hates his father for abandoning his family and not being there for his upbringing, even after the mom and sister supposedly died. Allen himself fathered an illegitimate child and hasn't been there for his upbringing, even after the mother died. Lampshaded by Hitomi. Hitomi: Would you like a towel to mop up all that irony you're dripping with? Literal-Minded: VAN, especially when his brother explains why he turned to the Dark Side. Van: Hey, how come you're with Zaibach, anyway? YOU were supposed to be the king of Fanelia, not me! Van: OH! ( Beat)
Wait, who are you then?
Folken: NOT. Literally. Van: OH! Folken: I died during the dragon-slaying ritual! Van: Are you a ghost? Van: Wow, the dragon took your mechanical arm? How did you get it back? Folken
): No, the dragon took my
, and Dornkirk replaced it with
. THAT'S how I turned to the
Loveable Sex Maniac: Allen is depicted as one of these. Male Gaze: As seen on episode 2. A Mech by Any Other Name Hitomi: Well, that's confusing. Can't we just call them all mecha? Hitomi: Hey, yeah — why don't we? Allen: ...I'm still trying to get into that tiny skirt of yours, so I'm going to pretend that I didn't hear you say that. Million-to-One Chance Zonghi:
! Oh, cruel fate, what are the odds!? ...No, seriously — the odds against this happening must be
astronomical. Mistreatment-Induced Betrayal: Miguel TRIES, bless his soul. Dilandau's frequent bitchslapping causes him to want to defect to the first person that doesn't hit him for no reason, but the Zaiback spy sent to oversee him keeps him in line. And then kills him. Mook-Face Turn: Miguel again. The promise of not being bitchslapped is so powerful that he snaps out of hypnosis just to ask if he can defect to Fried Miguel: I-I love you! Can I defect...er, I mean, I am a loyal servant of Zaibach and am answering your questions only because I am under hypnosis. More like he was feigning hypnosis the whole time, and broke character for a moment. Mundane Made Awesome: Hitomi and Millerna don't directly argue over Allen, but the series presents it as though it were a knock-down, drag-out brawl. New Powers as the Plot Demands: "Well, that's bullshit! First you get Hitomi's seeing powers, and now my healing? What are you gonna steal next, Allen's sex appeal?" No Fourth Wall: Obviously. When Hitomi's Seer abilities are temporarily suppressed, she decides to find Van by going into Omniscient Narrator Mode. Offscreen Moment of Awesome: As part of the potshots against the Fox run, we have the missed fight with the dragon. Van: I, Van Fanel, have completed the task of dragon slaying! He was all, like, "GRRRR! FWOOSH!" and I was all like, "No way!" and then I went, "SNICKETY SLICE!" and I cut out his heart! Red Shirt 2:
I wish everyone could have seen it!
Van: Yeah... Me too. The Omniscient Council of Vagueness: So vague, in fact, that even half of the Council itself isn't quite sure what they're talking about. Folken:Yeah...Once again, if my lord could perhaps be a bit more specific.... Only Six Faces: "It seems you've got me mixed up with someone slightly less attractive. It happens all the time, the animators only know how to draw, like, four different kinds of faces." Overly Long Gag: Dilandau slapping the messenger over and over again. Parental Abandonment Balgus: Make your dead parents' rotting corpses proud, my lord! Van: Do you really have to put it like that? Balgus: I just wanted to make sure it was established that they're dead. And rotting. In their graves! ... Beefcake! Passive-Aggressive Kombat: The Trope Namer, with Hitomi and Millerna's passive fighting over Allen presented as something like , complete with "-atality" puns. Mortal Kombat Pet the Dog: Ax-Crazy Bad Boss though he may be, Dilandau really does care for his men. He kills Zongi for murdering Miguel instead of rescuing him and bringing him back unharmed, then later slips in and out of an Angst Coma after Van kills a dozen of his men. Folken:
Turns out he really DID care about those guys.
Who knew? Politeness Judo: The first round of Passive-Aggressive Kombat. Poor Communication Kills: Lampshaded in the finale. Allen: Rather than explain my seemingly nonsensical statement, I challenge you to a fight to the death! Van: Rather than ask for further clarification, I accept! Dilandau: Boys, boys, boys! Don't fight over me! Just FIGHT ME! Quirky Miniboss Squad: Wonderfully lampshaded with the following exchange! Dornkirk: 'Oi! Folken! Have you found the dragon yet? Folken: No, my lord, and I seem to be running out of flamboyant lackeys to send after him. Dornkirk: Why? What's wrong with Dilandau? Folken:
He's been slipping in and out of an
ever since his underlings were killed. Turns out he
care about those guys; who knew? Zonghi's dead....
Dornkirk: Have we used the gecko ninjas? Folken: We've used the gecko ninjas. Dornkirk: How about that snake guy? Folken: We've used the snake guy. Reference Overdosed Retroactive Wish: Used twice with the help of Hitomi's MacGuffin pendant: First, in episode 8, Van wishes that all the fossilized dragon hearts being mined would explode. The MacGuffin pendant makes them do so. Then he wishes for cheeseburgers to eat instead of grubs. Nothin'. Then, in the next episode, Hitomi wishes that a "knight in shining armor" would save her from a tentacle monster. Cue Allen arriving in a suit of armor. Hitomi then wishes that she was back in her fantasy world where Allen gave up his womanizing ways for her. Again, nothin'. Lampshaded in episode 14 when Allen hopes help would arrive to heal Van after a recent battle. A friendly caravan arrives, and Allen then wishes that there would be some sexy nurses as well. Hitomi points out that she tried it, and it doesn't work. Selective Obliviousness: "Oh my God, is it possible that Allen's intentions towards me are less than honorable? ...Nah!" Shirtless Scene: "Oooh! Manservice!" Dilandau: I tear my shirt off in anguish! Shout-Out: To the "Beefcake!" line from South Park. Van: Yes! I can do the impossible! Hitomi: Well, see the invisible... Merle: RAW, RAW! FIGHT DA POWA!
... * cricket chirp* ...Aww, I wanted to be part of the moment, but I killed it!
Why do I kill everything I love? To The Chronicles of Narnia: Van: First in every charge and last in every retreat, that's the motto of the kings of Fanelia! Folken: That's the kings of Narnia, you idiot. Van: We can use it too! They don't own it! To The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy in the form of a sandwich made by Arthur Dent. To Magic: The Gathering Hitomi: How would dealing 1 damage per turn to a creature or player help? Does Zaibach use a lot of 1/1 creatures? To his own Gantz Abridged in episode 2. "You know, now all I can think about is sex." After counting past six... Sound Effect Bleep: This is the only abridged series made by hbi to have that trope. Super Cell Reception: "This episode of Escaflowne Abridged has been brought to you by Chekhov's Cellphone Service, bringing you more bars in more places — even on Gaia." Surrounded by Idiots: Folken. Suspiciously Specific Denial Prince Chid: My late mother often told me about a brave knight named Allen. Tell me, did you know Marlene of Asturia? Allen: Uh, well, yeah, but not intimately... I mean not biblically! ...I mean, y-yeah, we met. Take That: At Fox Kids not airing the first episode. Tempting Fate: "Well, my Guymelef is pretty smashed up, but the most important thing is that nobody important got hurt." Guess who's bleeding to death at the moment. Go on, guess. That Man Is Dead: Folken invokes it, but Van takes it literally and thinks for a second that he's a ghost. The Ugly Guy's Hot Daughter: "Have you seen the king? He makes me look like , and you look like some kind of... you freaky, super you! Makes you wonder how his daughters got so hot...." Uncertain Audience / Multiple Demographic Appeal: One episode discussed this In-Universe with a style opening. Law & Order Unknown Rival: Dilandau to Van.
"Damn it, Van! I am your nemesis and you
will start taking me seriously!" Wangst: Hitomi advises this for Van to get more fangirls, since he equates it to getting stronger. He develops the ability to detect Merle from behind the bushes. We Have Reserves Duke Fried: Sergeant Cannon Fodder Canaan-Föder, how do you ask a man to be the last man to die for a mistake? Canaan-Föder: I... I don't know, sir Duke Fried: That's easy, you don't!
You just keep sending wave after wave of men to their deaths! Now, call in the reserves — we're having a good old-fashioned troop surge!
Inverted in that as soon as he says it, his own men shoot him in the back with an arrow volley. Canaan-Föder: How does it feel to be the last man to die for a mistake, asshole? Well-Intentioned Extremist: Folken
"That's about as close as anyone gets
in this show.
Oh, except Dilandau; that guy's crazy. Don't
get on his bad side"
Which might be cribbed from the Escaflowne page on this very site. "Zaibach: Kicking your ass for the greater good." What Is This Feeling?: Spoofed when Van briefly experiences the mysterious concept known as "empathy." Van: And it's like I could tell what they were thinking and feeling just by watching what they said and did.... Did I just get some awesome new superpower without realizing it? What Kind of Lame Power Is Heart, Anyway?: "Oh God, now I'm having a flashback that's not even mine? This is the worst superpower ever." What Measure Is a Non-Human?: "Killing humans isn't murder, it's pest control!" White Magician Girl: It's noted that such series make this one of only two roles women get to play. Millerna is stuck with being this, as Hitomi is the prophet. Moleman: We don't have a doctor on board. Princess Millerna, you'll have to save him Millerna: What? Why me? I don't have any medical training. One of those guys do it! Moleman: Nope, it has to be you. Wing Pull Hitomi: Van, why do you have wings now? Van: I told you — I'm an awesome Shonen action hero, and I have lots and lots of powers. Hitomi: Oh yeah. Angel wings. That's really Shonen. Seriously, is it genetic or something? Wrong Genre Savvy: Van. The guy seems to think Escaflowne's a straight up Shōnen show. You Do Not Want To Know: . Allen How Allen's sister became Dilandau asks anyway, and the explanation horrifies him.