Series: Barney Miller

From left to right: Wojciehowicz, Miller, Harris, Fish, and Yemana.

Yemana: No, I don't watch (cop) shows like that. I can't enjoy them because, being a cop myself, I spot the mistakes and inaccuracies and the fantastic things that in real life never happen.
Victim: On the show they caught (the criminal)!
Yemana: Good example!

A police squadroom sitcom airing on ABC from 1975-1982, Barney Miller was considered quite realistic by actual cops, especially in comparison to police dramas at the time. The episodes tended to take place entirely within the bleak, ancient squadroom as the detectives booked and processed various suspects. Action sequences usually took place off-camera and were described by the detectives as they returned from the scene. What made the show worth watching was the razor-sharp writing and the eccentric personalities of the detectives, including:

  • The eponymous Captain Miller (Hal Linden), whose underlings exasperate him and whose superiors ignore him; an Only Sane Man who often feels ineffectual and underappreciated. Best known for leaving suspects and victims together for a while in hopes that they will work things out without pressing charges (and therefore without the associated paperwork).
  • Lieutenant Nick Yemana (Jack Soo), Captain Miller's second in command who is in charge of "the files" and is generally the Hypercompetent Sidekick of the squadroom. He takes a laissez-faire attitude to most things and often makes inappropriate jokes. His bad coffee is legendary. Yemana was the first regular adult character on U.S. prime-time television written specifically for an American of Japanese descent.note 
  • Sergeant Philip K. Fish (Abe Vigoda), an elderly and dyspeptic complainer who alternately wisecracks about today's batch of criminals or his wife. Despite his endless moaning, he can't stand the thought of his impending retirement. The character began appearing in a spin-off series, Fish, midway through the third season but didn't leave until the end of it (getting a proper send-off in the fourth season premiere). The spin-off didn't last two years, and Fish continued to return for occasional appearances on the parent show.
  • Detective Stanley Taddeus "Wojo" Wojciehowicz ("You say it like it's spelled!" or "Spelled just like it sounds!") (Max Gail), who tended to act entirely on his impulses, causing Barney endless headaches. His original uncouth and dense character gradually became more enlightened as the series went on.
  • Sergeant Ron Nathan Harris (Ron Glass), whose police work frequently took second place to his novel-writing. He had a diva-esque attitude, best exemplified by his reluctance to wear anything he considered unstylish, even during undercover work. He also considered himself the squadroom intellectual, at least until the arrival of...
  • Detective Arthur Dietrich (Steve Landesberg), a Deadpan Snarker and card-carrying intellectual, whose long-winded speculations about criminal psychology, science, and just about anything else that happened to come up in conversation drove the other detectives crazy. He particularly annoyed Harris, who didn't appreciate having a rival for being "the Smart One".
  • During the first two seasons, Sergeant Chano Amenguale (Gregory Sierra); an amiable, talkative guy, but basically deficient in outstanding personality quirks. He disappeared when Sierra got a lead role on another sitcom, which promptly crashed and burned, beating Fish to the punch by a season.

Also around are abrasive, uniformed Officer Carl Levitt (Ron Carey), who longs to be a detective but can never seem to snag a promotion (he finally got one in the very last episode); and Barney's immediate superior Inspector Franklin D. Luger (James Gregory), who does nothing but chew Barney's ear all day and long for the halcyon days of acceptable police brutality. In the first season or two, which had episodes alternating between the squadroom and Barney's home life, Barbara Barrie was a regular as Barney's wife Elizabeth; the character was eventually moved offscreen, save for a couple of guest appearances.

Throughout the run, the show tried adding new characters to the cast; most of them would be given a "test run" of about three episodes to make an impression. More than half a dozen cops were "auditioned" this way. Save for Dietrich, none of them really worked, resulting in many a Brother Chuck. (Linda Lavin probably would have stayed on too, if she hadn't been offered the lead role in Alice; she appeared prominently in flashbacks despite being in only five episodes). Midway through the fifth season, actor Jack Soo (Yemana) died. The cast did a memorial episode out-of-character for Soo, but Yemana was never killed off in so many words. Once in a while, he would be mentioned in the past tense, sometimes with an air of wistfulness. When Levitt worked in the detective squad room, he took over Yemana's desk.

This show is also remembered for its super-catchy Instrumental Theme Tune, which has quite possibly the most famous bass line in TV history. If you've seen the show, you're probably humming it to yourself now.

Characters and references to the show still turn up. In a novel spinoff of The Blair Witch Project, Confessions of Rustin Parr, the investigations were headed by Detective Nicholas Yemana. In William P. Young's supernatural murder mystery The Shack, a Polish police detective says his name is "spelled just like it sounds". In Frasier, one of Martin's police friends was Stan Wojciedubakowski, and when he died, Martin briefly dated his widow. The Police Procedural Romantic Dramedy Castle is, like this show, set in the Twelfth Precinct of the NYPD.

Police detectives often cite this as the best cop show ever seen on television. Dennis Farina, who really worked as a policeman before becoming an actor, says it's the most realistic. In 2014, it was called the most intelligent and literate U.S. sitcom ever made. The detectives were made honorary members of the NYPD. The chalkboard roster and Jack Soo's coffee cup now reside in the Smithsonian.

Now has a character page for the main cast and recurring characters.

This show provides examples of:

  • Aborted Arc: The romance between Wojo and Wentworth is forgotten about after Linda Lavin left the show to be the star of Alice.
  • Accidental Misnaming: Inspector Luger always called Sgt. Levitt 'Levine', right up to the final episode. He once, bizarrely, referred to him as Goldstein.
  • Accidental Pervert: A man who was arrested for being a public nuisance by making lewd comments in a park was actually doing research for a detailed dictionary and history of obscenities.
    Suspect: She called me a pervert. I'm a scholar.
    Dietrich: There's no reason you can't be both.
  • Affably Evil: Arthur Duncan likes to rob the disabled, charities, and in general people who are particularly defenseless, but he always has a reasonable attitude about getting arrested.
  • The Alcoholic: A robber who tries to rip off a store using his finger as a gun (he forgot to put his hand in his pocket first because he was drunk). ("Copy Cat")
  • All Gays Love Theater: Luger thinks that every Hollywood actor, past or present, is gay—except John Wayne. (episode "The RAND Report")
  • Ambulance Chaser: Arnold Ripner, a recurring character. At one point he sues Harris for putting a thinly-veiled version of him in his novel and uses all the unflattering adjectives Harris used to describe the character's sleaziness as proof.
  • And Starring: "And Gregory Sierra as Chano", for the first two seasons. For a little while in Season 4, "And James Gregory as Inspector Luger".
  • Aren't You Going to Ravish Me?: In episode "Heat Wave", Detective Wentworth is highly offended when a would-be rapist elbows her aside in order to get at Wojo, who is wearing drag for an anti-mugger sting.
    • Another female detective who is detailed to catch a dentist in the act of groping anesthetized female patients has a similar reaction when she is not groped.
  • Aside Comment: Fish does it a lot, stopping just short of addressing the audience.
  • Attractive Bent-Gender: Usually related to mugging detail, when a squad member crossdresses to attract muggers.
    • Fish arrests another old man for asking him out. The guy still wants to take him on a date even after learning he's a man.
    • When Harris goes on mugging detail, everyone in the squad is astonished. Even Nick is too flabbergasted to say anything but "You look lovely!"
    Harris: I want to look good, Barney... but not better.
    • Totally inverted with Wojo, and even more with Dietrich—Barney won't even let Dietrich go out because he just does not look female at all.
  • Bad to the Last Drop: Yemana's terrible, terrible coffee was a Running Gag.
    • In "Rain", when rain is dripping through the leaky roof into the office of the 12th Precinct, Yemana gets rainwater from a pan and uses it to make coffee.
    • In "Fear of Flying", when a woman takes an overdose of pills in the office and Poison Control tells the detectives they need to make her vomit the pills up, they use Yemana's coffee as an emetic. It works.
    • In "Quarantine" part 2, Yemana is utterly mystified when a civilian in the station cleans the mold from the coffee cups.
    Yemana I thought it was a pattern.
  • Because Destiny Says So: In "The Tunnel", Nick discovers a horse named "Pick-Me-Nick" in the paper and decides that it's more than a sign, it's an order. Just before the end credits—after a philosophical discussion about fate and the afterlife that took place for unrelated reasons—Nick learns that Pick-Me-Nick won.
    "I guess that settles that!"
  • Beleaguered Bureaucrat: Most government officials who visit the squadroom. (Usually because of Wojo giving someone political asylum or similar.)
  • The Bet: In "Community Relations", between Yemana (to stop gambling) and Harris (to stop smoking) on who could last the longest. Here's how it ends, after Barney has paired up a blind man who keeps getting robbed with a homeless man who needs a place to stay.
    Barney: I bet they make it.
    Harris: I bet they don't.
    Yemana: You're on!
    Harris: You lose. [lights up smoke]
  • Big Blackout: The episode "Power Failure." The power cuts while Barney is in his office with a psychiatrist who is apparently trying to seduce him on behalf of her arrested patient.
  • The Big Rotten Apple: Set as it is in the 70's and early 80's, the bureaucracy, high crime, and perpetual budget crisis make for great comedy and occasional drama.
    • In the first episode, "Ramon", Liz is listening to the radio tell all about the crimes and disasters in New York. The Miller apartment has bars on the window and multiple locks on the door. Liz begs Barney to quit the police force and leave New York City. Then, at work, Barney and the detectives are held at gunpoint by a crazed heroin junkie.
    • The opening title sequence begins with a shot of the Lower Manhattan skyline—as a garbage scow crosses in front of it.
  • Birth/Death Juxtaposition: See Talking Down the Suicidal below.
  • Black Comedy Rape: Season 4, Episode 15, titled "Rape." A woman charges her husband with rape. Presented as a comedy story line. See Marital Rape License below.
  • Blatant Lies: Dietrich informs a prototype lie detector that he was born "a long time ago, in a galaxy far far away" after an honest but excitable Wojo flunks the test.
    • The technician operating the machine doesn't really believe Dietrich is an alien, but he also doesn't believe the machine isn't working perfectly. Eventually his faith in the machine wins out, though fortunately for Wojo, his supervisors conclude the reverse.
  • Blowing Smoke Rings: Harris puts his feet on the desk and starts doing this in "Eviction (Part 1)". Barney, who is having a particularly stressful day, gets annoyed.
  • The Bore: Luger and his endless stories about Brownie, Foster, and Kleiner. A supposed clairvoyant announces his arrival by saying that he feels "a gloomy presence" approaching.
  • Bottle Episode: All but a few of them. If the Internet Movie Database's trivia page is to be believed, only thirteen episodes over the whole course of the series showed scenes outside the station: "Ramon", "Graft", "The Stakeout", "Hair", "The Hero", "Grand Hotel", "Fish", "Wojo's Girl" part 2, "Contempt" parts 1 & 2, "Chinatown" parts 1 & 2, and "Eviction" part 2. And most of those were early in the show's run. The first five episodes in that list were all in Season 1. "Fish" was a Poorly Disguised Pilot for the Spin-Off of the same name set in Fish's apartment.
  • Brick Joke:
    • Yemana takes a call, says "Wait, let me get a pencil" and starts to eat his lunch with the pencil as a makeshift chopstick as he tells the caller to go ahead with their story. Switch to other characters doing things, then back to Yemana as he hangs up with the caller. He takes one look at the pencil and says "Oh my God, I ate my eraser!"
    • After getting an announcement that there will be tryouts for a department variety show, everyone present declines interest and Barney drops it in the wastebasket. The episode ends with Wojo, not present at the start, fishing it out and indignant that nobody told him about it.
  • Building of Adventure: The precinct house, as dilapidated as it is. Over the course of the series it sees hostage crises, quarantine, fire, suicide attempts, Jesus (maybe), and guys that look like Jesus.
  • Bulletproof Vest: A seventh season episode revolved around bulletproof vests being issued to the members of the squad, and their reluctance to wear them. Wojo said "It makes me feel like I'm some kind of supercop: like I ought to have a big W across here."
  • Call Back:
    • References to detectives Amenguale and Wentworth working elsewhere in the police department continued after their actors left the show. When Yemana's actor died, the character was occasionally remembered fondly with wistful glances at his old desk, without specifying what had happened to him. In fact, an entire episode revolved around Yemana's desk. Levitt protested its removal because without it he had less chance of getting his occasional assignments to work with the detectives, proving himself worthy of promotion. Barney came to regret having had it removed, and decided it wasn't enough just to get another desk; he demanded that desk back, and got it.
    • Nick says that they can't use the towel for something because all the terry wore down. Also, it "cracked." In a later episode, Barney threatens an unruly perpetrator by saying he would stuff their towel in his mouth. When the guy isn't cowed, Barney retorts with "You haven't seen our towel!"
    • In "Fear of Flying", a citizen turns in $3500 in cash that he found, only to get very interested when he's told he can get the money back in 30 days if no one claims it. Four episodes later, in "The Kid", that same citizen shows up and collects his $3500.
  • Catch Phrase: Barney's "Gentlemen, I think we all have work to do..." Often lampshaded by the other characters in later seasons.
  • Celebrity Paradox: In "Eviction" part 1, Luger asks Yemana if Flower Drum Song is still playing. Jack Soo starred in both the stage and screen versions of Flower Drum Song.
  • Character Development: All of the squad went through this as the show went on—Wojo becoming less naive, for example—and some recurring characters did as well. Ray Brewer, a recurring bum, shows up one day in a Salvation Army uniform.
  • Characterization Marches On: Wojo is extremely immature, almost to the point of being a Jerk Ass, and has an obnoxious "dumb guy" laugh in the first season. He tones down a lot in Season 2 and continues to do so more subtly for the remainer of the series. And Harris is more of a streetwise hipster than a pompous intellectual until sometime in the third season.
  • Character Outlives Actor: Nick Yemana did not exactly Die On a Bus, even though the actor Jack Soo, who played him, died in real life on January 11, 1979. Nick disappeared from the series and was definitely gone for good; there was an episode where a lot of drama was attached to the removal of his desk from the office, and characters would sometimes mention "back when Nick was here". However, it was never made clear whether he died or just went away somewhere. The final episode cleared this up. Looking around the squadroom one last time, Barney remembers (via flashback clips) the cops who'd left the squad in years past. When he remembers Chano, Wentworth and Fish, Barney is smiling in fond remembrance. When he remembers Nick, though, his expression is very sad. Clearly, Nick had passed on.
    • Jack Soo had esophageal cancer. Linden visited Soo in the hospital just before he was to have surgery. He said "It must have been the coffee." Legend ascribes this line to Jack just as he was being wheeled into the operating room.
  • Christmas Episode:
    • "Christmas Story", in Season 3, in which a mugger is targeting Santas.
    • "Toys", in Season 5, in which rival toy manufacturers pose a problem for the precinct, and Barney has to face his first Christmas after separation from Liz.
    • "Homeless", in Season 8, in which the precinct is overrun by vagrants with nowhere else to go.
  • Chuck Cunningham Syndrome: Fish's departure was dealt with in the two-part episode that opened Season 4, and the departure/death of Nick Yemana was dealt with somewhat obliquely (see Character Outlives Actor above). Chano's departure was mentioned in a throwaway gag two seasons after the fact. Other detectives were victims of Chuck Cunningham Syndrome. Linda Lavin's Detective Wentworth wasn't mentioned again after Lavin left for Alice. Detective Maria Battista, played by June Gable, appeared in two Season 3 episodes and was never seen again. Early in season 7, the writers introduced Det. Eric Dorsey (Paul Lieber), a new detective with a blond afro and an abrasive attitude. After four episodes, he disappears.
  • Churchgoing Villain:
    • One perp makes a big deal about how devout a Catholic he is in the hopes that Wojo's Catholic guilt will get him let go. (It doesn't work, but it does make Wojo pretty uncomfortable.)
    • An Episcopal priest is arrested for fencing stolen goods to raise money for charity. He expresses an incredible amount of jealousy of the attention and funding that big-time Roman Catholic churches like St. Patrick's Cathedral get.
    • A rabbi is busted when he uses the synagogue's license for a "casino night" to continuously operate a small-time casino in the basement.
    • A lunatic preaching that The End is near and citing endless Scripture verses is arrested for disorderly conduct. As Bernice Fish comes in, he lets loose with a passage from the Old Testament. Bernice quietly asks her husband: "Who arrested the rabbi?"
  • Cigarette of Anxiety: One time when Barney is passed over for promotion (again), he finds an old cigarette in his desk and smokes it. He had quit 3 years previously, and that cigarette was left over from before he quit.
    Harris: You're smoked a 3 year old cigarette?
    Barney: Just wanted to make sure I didn't get hooked again.
    Harris: That'll do it.
  • Clip Show: "Jack Soo, a Retrospective", last episode of Season 5 (May 17, 1979). This was an out-of-character tribute to Soo, who played Yemana, and who had died of esophageal cancer in January of that year. This doubles as a case of The Character Died with Him as Yemana is indicated to have died in subsequent in-character episodes.
  • Clumsy Copyright Censorship: In an episode where a perpetrator beat up an elevator-music machine, the word Muzak (a trademark of Muzak Holdings LLC) is slienced-out.
  • Comically Missing the Point: In "Hash", after Intoxication Ensues from the hash brownies, Barney is worried about Yemana, who is very high. He asks Harris, who is slightly less high.
    Barney: How's Nick?
    Harris: I like him!
  • The Comically Serious: Dietrich. His stonefaced delivery while annoying his colleagues to death was a hallmark of the character.
  • Conspiracy Theorist: Jeffery Tambor plays a man who's obsessed with the Trilateral Commission.
  • The Couch: In Barney's office. Lampshaded when Harris thanks Barney for the use of it because a real psychiatrist would be too expensive.
  • CPR (Clean, Pretty, Reliable): After a flasher tries to kill himself in the bathroom in "Snow Job", Barney manages to get his heart started again by hitting his chest.
  • Create Your Own Villain: Christopher Lloyd plays a man who blames Barney for his life of crime and drug abuse when years earlier Patrolman Miller caused him to miss an important job interview by detaining him with a ticket for littering.
  • Crime and Punishment Series
  • Cuffs Off, Rub Wrists: In "The Psychiatrist", a suspect hauled in to the 12th complains that his wrists are broken after he's uncuffed.
  • Cunning Linguist: There's a funny bit in "Hash" where Wojciehowicz briefly interprets for two elderly Polish men, caught dueling with swords in the park, until they're able to pull themselves together. Naturally, Wojo's a beat behind and continues translating even after they begin speaking English.
  • The Dandy: Harris, who was always wearing expensive, tailored suits, even when he really couldn't afford them on an NYPD detective's salary. He always got agitated when events at work caused his suits to get messy.
  • Darker and Edgier:
    • The two season 7 episodes when the NYPD is reorganized into specialty squads and the 12th is assigned homicide.
    • A late-series episode involves an ex-Nazi in hiding.
  • Deadpan Snarker: Numerous among both the squad and the people they dealt with, but Yemana, Fish and Dietrich all deserve special mention.
    • When Air Force Master Sergeant Reville (George Murdock, before he was cast in a recurring role as Lt. Scanlon) arrives at the precinct in "Group Home" to report a bomb threat to an Air Force base, he is clearly uncomfortable with the idea of a Japanese-American police officer. Yemana deals with his discomfort with deadpan humor:
      Reville: It just isn't right. Why would someone threaten to destroy a US military installation?
      Yemana: Nostalgia?
    • One of Fish's favourite targets for snarkery is his wife, Bernice (who gives as good as she gets when we see her).
      Wojo: Hey Fish, who's Esther Williams?
      Fish: She covered herself with grease and swam the English Channel. (to himself) It's a shame Bernice can't swim, she'd be all set.
    • Dietrich is usually The Stoic, but beneath his calm surface is an often acerbic sense of humour. In "Uniform Days", he is looking into a seven-year-old armed robbery case, the statute of limitations on which expires at midnight.
      Barney: 1973!? Nixon was still President!
      Dietrich: No, he's got an airtight alibi for this one.
  • Demonic Possession: Season 7, "Possession". Mr. Kopechne, whom we first saw as a victim of lycanthropy in "Werewolf", returns claiming to be possessed by a demon, and he convinces the squad he's right with his unnatural growls, acrobatics, and Voice of the Legion.
  • Designer Babies: Referenced by a geneticist whose lab was robbed. He's excited about the possibility of "creating a whole new superior race of... really nice people!"
  • Diplomatic Impunity:
    • An official from the Russian embassy is seen forcing a Russian musician into a car, prompting Wojo to arrest him for kidnapping. The Russian official insists he has diplomatic immunity. ("Asylum")
    • The Burmese ambassador who is keeping a debt-bonded slave as a bodyman. However, he's not immune to an uninsured car, much to the squad's delight.
  • Discriminate and Switch: Harris is turned down for a lease... because he's a cop and the landlord "won't rent to anyone who doesn't have a steady job." ("Copycat")
  • Disguised in Drag: See Attractive Bent-Gender above.
  • Disposable Vagrant: Subverted when recurring character Ray Brewer reports that vagrants are vanishing from a shelter; Harris goes undercover to solve the case. (Turns out they're being shipped to North Carolina as slave labor.)
  • Doing It for the Art: In-universe when Harris is tasked with making a porno to be used in investigations. He goes far over budget, gives it an actual plot (with Purple Prose dialogue), and gives himself a cameo in the spirit of Alfred Hitchcock... although the actual pornographic content, when it happens, is implied to be... up to industry standards.
  • Domestic Abuser: In "Heat Wave", a woman with a black eye comes in and files a complaint against her husband, who has given her a black eye. Fish is getting ready to go pick him up when she asks what will happen, and he tells her that since the husband was already on parole for a previous complaint, he's going to get three years. The woman sits down, and starts to reminisce about their 15-year marriage, and how he once made love to her on a field of flowers. She leaves without signing the complaint. Then, just when the story looks like it's going to end on that Ambiguous Ending, she darts back in and signs it.
  • Donut Mess with a Cop: In the episode "Accusation'', a victim calls Barney out on his coffee and donut breakfast.
    Victim: Oh my....and him a Captain!
    Dietrich: Nutritionally, he's still a child.
    • In an earlier episode Dietrich relates statistics about cholesterol and fat as Yamana and Fish defiantly bite into donuts and crullers.
  • Double Standard: Rape, Male on Male: Wojo, who is wearing drag in order to catch muggers, is almost raped. Everyone finds it hilarious that the rapist passed over the attractive and actually female Wentworth (Linda Lavin) to go after Wojo in a dress.
  • Drop-In Character: Ray Brewer.
  • Early Installment Weirdness:
    • The pilot, "The Life and Times of Captain Barney Miller", was shot on film, while the rest of the series was shot on videotape. Of the characters in the pilot, only Barney and Fish made it to the show after the pilot was picked up.
    • In the first season, Barney's wife is a regular billed in the opening credits, although she does not appear in all the episodes. In fact, aside from Barney, most of the top-billed characters sit out for an episode or more of the first season. At the same time, characters who seem to have been intended as regulars disappear after being in one or two episodes. The characters' personalities are less distinctive, too, aside from Barney, Wojo, and Fish.
  • Easy Amnesia: In two-parter "Eviction", Dietrich is smitten with an attractive young woman who's brought into the precinct. She has typical Hollywood amnesia, unable to recall anything of her past or even her name. She turns out to be a nun.
  • Election Day Episode: Episode 3-05, "The Election". An arrestee insists on using his right to vote so Wojo takes him to the polls, where he escapes. In a subplot Inveterate Gambler Nick is torn between who to bet on winning (Ford or Carter). Meanwhile, Inspector Luger goes around trying to get people to vote for a friend of his. The only thing that anyone remembers is that he was involved in a political scandal, and the best that Luger can come back with is "they never proved any of that."
  • "El Niño" Is Spanish for "The Niño":
    • A recurring Latina character calls Officer Levitt (who is quite short) "poquito". He finally asks her what it means and she says, "It means macho," and leaves.
    Levitt: "I thought "macho" meant macho!"
    • In "The Vigilante" Inspector Lugar asks Chano "What is the Spanish word for 'vigilante'?".
  • Eloquent In My Native Tongue: The woman in "Hunger Strike" who's been in a mental asylum for two decades because she speaks "hebephrenic gibberish". Turns out she's a native speaker of Macedonian and perfectly sane. (See Ripped from the Headlines, below.)
  • El Spanish O: In "Eviction", Wojo tells an old Hispanic man to "el seato"; Barney offers the man a chair and says "Señor, aquí." Later on Levitt offers to escort this man home, saying he speaks some Spanish, but he says "Vaminos homo." Barney tells him the word he wants is "casa", so he says "Vaminos casa, no homo."
  • Everybody Did It: In "The RAND Report" Fish is dispatched to investigate a series of robberies at an old folks' home. He discovers that all the old folks have been stealing from each other in order to liven things up.
  • Everybody Must Get Stoned: See Mushroom Samba below.
  • Executive Meddling: In-universe with the first short story Harris sells to a magazine—a dirty magazine called "Sir Gent" that sleazes it up considerably. (episode "Abduction")
  • Expy: Several.
  • Eye-Obscuring Hat:
    • Wojo reports a UFO and a Captain from the Air Force shows up to take his statement; he wears his officer's cap in such a way that it obscures his eyes. Barney tries to peek around the brim.
    • Jilly Pappalardo is wearing one of these when we first see her, in "Evacuation".
  • The Faceless: Save one onscreen appearence in the early episode "The Guest", Desk Sergeant Koogan qualifys, as he gets a mention every three episodes or so afterward.
  • Fingertip Drug Analysis: Hilariously parodied in the hash brownies episode.
    Barney: Harris, have these analyzed, and fast!
    Harris: [takes another brownie and is about to bite into it]
    Barney: NOT THAT WAY!
  • Five-Man Band: Barney was The Hero; Yemana was The Lancer; Wojo was The Big Guy; Dietrich was The Smart Guy. Harris was initially The Smart Guy until Dietrich came on board, and then became more of a male The Chick; after Jack Soo died, he replaced him as The Lancer.
  • Foil: The very laidback and good-humored Zatelli to tightly-wound and sycophantic Levitt.
  • Foreshadowing/Leaning on the Fourth Wall: In the tag of the second season episode "Horse Thief" Fish makes small talk to Barney "They say we may be in for some rain next week". In the very next episode called "Rain" an extreme rain storm threatens to bring down the squad room roof.
  • Game Show Appearance: In the fifth season opener "Kidnapping", Nick observes Dietrich and Harris playing backgammon. When asked if he plays, Nick says, "Naw...I have the home version of Beat the Clock. I prefer mind games."
  • Getting Crap Past the Radar:
    • Chano occasionally lost his temper and let loose in Spanish, including "pendejo" (literally meaning "pubic hair", but is as strong as "asshole" to a Spanish speaker) at least once.
    • In an early episode, a man talking about his wife joining a cult that hoped to travel to Saturn pointed upward with his middle finger as he said "Up there, Saturn." Fish's response: "Hold that thought."
    • In another episode, a suspect stoned out of his mind on pot insists on referring to Bernice Fish as "mother." When she leaves the room, he shouts, "That mother left me!"
  • The Ghost: Barney's family - wife Liz, son David, and daughter Rachel - turned into offscreen characters after the first season. Both Liz and Rachel did eventually return for guest appearances in later episodes, however.
  • Good Grief, Another "Peanuts" Shout-Out!: In "Copycat" Yemana researches a copycat's next crime by studying a TV Guide. When Barney asks if he's found anything, Yemana replies "Lucy just found out she's pregnant, and doesn't know how to tell Ricky". Later Dietrich asks Barney if Yemana came up with anything.
    Barney: Just that Lucy's pregnant.
    Dietrich: That Charlie Brown's a devil, isn't he?
  • Gosh Dang It to Heck!: Sometimes. Usually a character about to swear would simply be interrupted, e.g. "Oh, who gives a flying f—" "WOJO!" However, when Ron Harris spoke about his belief that a civil action filed against him and subsequent judgment for the plaintiff were racially motivated, he was allowed to say "You are looking at one mad nigger!" but "They won't suck another nickel out of this bad motor scooter."note 
  • Halloween Episode: "Werewolf." First appearance of Mr. Kopechne (Kenneth Tigar), here playing a man with lycanthropy who had at least Yemana convinced he was "changing."
    Yemana: Look at that. Hair is growing out of his face.
    Barney: That's called a beard! Haven't you ever seen one?
    Yemana: Not in my family.
  • Happy Ending Massage: Occasionally the squad busts one of these. In "Massage Parlor", Wentworth investigates one that employs male prostitutes and arrests a good-natured cowboy who sees his occupation as a "God-given talent." In another episode, Fish goes to a parlor that had been busted, to Bernice's chagrin, but he really did just go for a massage. (And fell asleep on the table.)
  • Heroic BSOD: In "The Hero", Chano is deeply rattled after a bank robbery led to him shooting and killing the two robbers.
  • Hypocritical Humor: Quite often from numerous individuals. During one opening, Desk Sergeant Kogan informs Wojo that Harris and Nick have been shot at and starts relaying the circumstances before saying that they're all right—Wojo yells at him that he should have said that right from the start. Then Barney comes in and Wojo tells him, phone still in hand:
    Barney: Are they all right?!
    Wojo: They were checkin' out this disturbance—
    Barney: Wojo!
    Wojo: Yeah, they're fine—Kogan? Kogan? Kogan'll fill you in on details. [holds out the phone in embarrassment] Soon's as he finishes laughin'.
  • Identical-Looking Asians: Inverted in "Christmas Story", when an Asian mugging victim and prostitute is looking through the mugbooks. When she remarks to Yemana that "everyone looks so much alike," he says "I know what you mean, I'm Japanese too."
  • Identical Stranger: A man with curly brown hair and glasses is arrested for making a scene when his specimen at a sperm bank is ruined. At the end of the episode, Dietrich suggests he and his wife could find a man with similar physical characteristics for artificial insemination... and the wife looks at Dietrich with great interest. ("The Bank")
  • Ignore the Fanservice: A High-Class Call Girl, who is the victim of a semi-related crime, throws herself at Dietrich to a ridiculous extent. As it happens he's trying to swear off sex, and does his best to ignore her. When she tries to test out her seductive new perfume on him he snaps, "Lady, will you get your stinking hand out of my face?"
  • Impersonating an Officer:
    • In "Discovery", a man claiming to be a detective from the 12th precinct is accosting men as they leave gay bars and demanding money or else he'll beat them. (He's collared by a patron who is himself an off-duty cop.)
    • In a benign version, a retired man puts on a uniform and starts doing a variety of small administrative tasks because he doesn't have anything else to do and he wants to help out.
  • Incredibly Lame Pun: Plenty of 'em, often examples of lame office humor like the post office man who says he "ZIPped right over."
    • Mr. Lun from the Water Department can't seem to shut it off: have to understand, captain, that this drought situation has put the entire water department under a great deal of pressure... I go home at night, and I am completely drained. [A rainmaker] was spouting off about how he could make it rain... if it ever leaks to the press that some drip from the water department hired a rainmaker at the taxpayers' expense...
  • Indentured Servitude: In one episode a diplomat has a slave. The slave's grandfather borrowed money from the diplomat's grandfather and he's still working off the debt.
  • Inkblot Test: In "The Psychiatrist", said psychiatrist has the squad look at inkblots. Yemana sees an elephant wearing a hat. "Now turn the picture upside down and tell me what you see." "An elephant lying on his back. Wearing a hat."
  • Insistent Terminology:
    • Wojo on the pronunciation of his name. It's almost a Catch Phrase.
    • And the District Attorney when he starts talking about himself—them—the District Attorney's office!
  • Instrumental Theme Tune: Apparently one Hal Linden didn't care for, at least compared to some of his fellow actor's shows. Once on a talk show he appeared with some stars from other shows, all of who were introduced with a few note of their theme songs. When he was introduced Linden said "Man he has such a nice theme, and he has a great, I've got 'Bum...bumbumbum...bumbumbum...bababaddabadda bum'".
  • Insult to Rocks: In "Hash", a pair of Polish immigrants, one an actor and the other a theatre critic, have been arrested for fighting a saber duel. The actor fumes over a review in which the critic said he played his role "like a howling jackass". The irritated critic mutters, "I apologize to the jackasses!"note 
  • Internal Affairs: As in every other cop show, IA is the enemy. In "Graft", the fourth episode, an IA detective comes sniffing around the 12th Precinct looking for cops on the take. He winds up following the corruption trail all the way to the commissioner's office, which winds up getting him busted back to beat cop. Later there would be a recurring character, Lt. Scanlon from Internal Affairs, who shows up from time to time to cause trouble for the detectives in the 12th. In "Chase", a heroin dealer who tries to bribe the men of the 12th turns out to be an agent provocateur sent by Scanlon.
  • Intoxication Ensues: See Mushroom Samba below.
  • In Vino Veritas: No alcohol or drugs are involved, but this is basically the effect of putting Wojo under hypnotism in one episode. Also occurs when the detectives are quarantined in the squad room, and Harris talks in his sleep.
  • I Owe You My Life: Dietrich saves Harris's life on a call, much to his annoyance at being in Dietrich's debt.
  • I Was Quite a Looker: A poignant bit when an older woman insisted that a local art gallery had "smut in the window". The smut in question turned out to be a tasteful nude portrait of herself in younger days. She'd been lovers with the now-dead artist, and the picture was a private endearment, never meant for exhibition. (episode "Quo Vadis")
  • Joisey: An Acceptable Target, along with Detroit, Cleveland, and Wyoming.
  • Jury and Witness Tampering: A man about to testify in a mob investigation is Properly Paranoid when some poisoned sandwiches are delivered to the squad-room. He refuses to eat, but Big Eater Wojo is taken to the hospital to have his stomach pumped. Making the best of a bad situation, Barney has Harris check Wojo into the hospital under the witness's name, and Harris leaks to the press that he died. When Wojo is reported to be okay, Yemana opines: "He could eat a desk."
  • Landslide Election: In "The Election", Inspector Luger is a strong proponent of a good friend of his who is running for office, even though the only thing that anybody else can remember about the candidate is that he was accused of being involved with bribery and corruption in the sanitation department (the Inspector's awkward attempts to defend the candidate on the grounds that "they couldn't prove any of that" only seem to confirm the truth of the accusations). Not surprisingly, the candidate loses by a margin of more than 5 to 1.
  • Large Ham: The district attorney, complete with Incoming Ham, pacing around the squadroom ranting about the sympathetic suspects who happen to be in. "You're killing me, Miller!"
  • Last Name Basis: While Barney and the other detectives are on familiar terms with each other, Barney and Dietrich address each other as "Captain" and "Dietrich". In the two-parter "Eviction" they try out "Barney" and "Arthur" but Dietrich decides he doesn't want to get too familiar.
  • Leaning on the Fourth Wall: In the final season, the squad start to feel how repetitive the police work is and wonder if it's time to move on. The reason Danny Arnold ended the show was because he felt they'd hit the point where they were repeating themselves.
  • Lethal Chef:
    • Yemana, at least when it comes to making coffee.
    • Also Yemana when cooking shabu shabu in the squad room, in episode "Fire '77". After Wojo says it smells like garbage, Yemana indignantly lists the ingredients—fish heads, cabbage leaves, cucumber rinds— then says "Come to think of it, that is garbage!" At the end, after Barney tastes the shabu shabu and likes it, Yemana realizes he cooked it wrong.
  • Like Father, Like Son: In "Kidnapping," the kidnappers demand that Siegel's start giving away free merchandise, which the young Ms. Siegel protests vehemently because it's bad business. When Mr. Siegel is recovered through a ransom and learns how much it was, he yells at them for not haggling and starts listing the health problems they could have used to knock down his price.
  • Little People Are Surreal: Lots of gags in "Sex Surrogate" after Harris investigates a report of a child burglar and finds out that it's not a child, it's an elderly little person (played by Billy Barty).
  • Lobotomy: "The Desk" featured a former criminal who who was rendered mentally incompetent by his amygdalectomy. Arnold Ripner threatens to sue the surgeon free of charge should he try it again.
  • Lockdown: In "Quarantine", the 12th precinct is locked down and everyone is stuck there after they find out a guy Wojo arrested might have contracted smallpox in Africa.
  • The Loins Sleep Tonight: "Wojo's Problem" deals with this. Wojo blames it on the tidal wave of women wanting to sleep with him.
  • Lottery Ticket: Two cases involved winning lottery one a man who had the winning numbers attacks a store owner who forgot to register it before the drawing note  ; and a man who started throwing his winnings out a window to the people below on the street after being drivin crazy with guilt from people asking for financial help.
  • Long-Lost Uncle Aesop: Deliberately averted. According to their DVD Commentary, the writers made a rule that except for previously-established characters like Barney's wife, all the guest characters had to be people the cops were meeting for the first time.
  • Looks Like Jesus: The owner of an Indian restaurant and Hindu temple in Season 3 episode "Abduction".
    Bookie: [in a whisper to Fish] I'll give you seventy-five to one it ain't!
  • Marital Rape License: The plot of fourth-season episode "Rape", which almost certainly is the most dated of all Barney Miller episodes. A woman comes into the 12th Precinct and accuses her husband of raping her. This is the cause of much confusion and consternation in the squadroom. Once the assistant DA and the husband's defense lawyer arrive, there is a long debate about things like "English common law" and "basic biological laws" giving a man the right to violate his wife, versus the wife's privacy and dignity. The debate is ended when the wife agrees to drop charges after the husband promises to be nicer to her and more affectionate. It might seem bizarre to a 21st-century viewer, but in The Seventies there was much debate over whether marital rape was a thing. 47 states actually had the Marital Rape License written into law. The highly publicized Oregon v. Rideout case, in which John Rideout was acquitted of raping his wife Greta, happened in 1978, the year after this episode aired.
  • Maybe Magic, Maybe Mundane:
    • Although Mr. Kopechne's 'lycanthropy' is not taken seriously, his return as a victim of demonic possession is far more disturbing. There are several other incidents where you can't be totally sure the people aren't crazy. (And most are played by Kenneth Tigar.)
    • The man who claims to be Jesus (also played by Tigar) returned gains the friendship (and discipleship) of a suspect named Paul with a "miracle" akin to changing water to wine: a bag of drugs turning out to be a Beat Bag, freeing him of charges. Paul had asked him for a miracle "like when you made all those sandwiches."
    • A man (Tigar again) plagued by a poltergeist named Julius, concurrent with a lot of small accidents and an attack of clumsiness.
    • A time-traveler in a long striped scarf, who identifies himself as such because he's sure nobody will believe him, convinces Harris to invest in zinc, apparently recognizes the Arthur Dietrich, and vanishes after leaving.
    • A "clairvoyant" who attacks a man for a purse-snatching he hasn't committed, but it just so happens he picked a repeat offender... and he perceives the cloud of "resentment" that results from Luger turning up, subsequently broadcasting Barney's frustrations.
    • A rainmaker hired by New York City's department of water during a drought appears to be successful after being arrested for lighting a ceremonial fire in Central Park. (He insists he was doing it scientifically by stuffing the raw chicken with cloud-seeding chemicals.)
    • A man who claims to be "a combustible" (as in, spontaneous) insists that he is overheating in the cell and needs ice just before the wastebasket across the room catches fire. Barney's response? "Get him some ice."
    • A man who believes he is plagued by a succubus falls asleep in the cell, where he dreams very loudly and... vividly.
    • An obeah woman at one point seemed to prevent Harris from opening the cell door by looking at it. Toward the end of the episode, she presented Barney (who at the time was reconciling with his semi-estranged wife) with a talisman.
      Obeah: Just wave this talisman three times over your bed, and souls that were separated will soon be reunited.
      (Barney gives Wojo a Death Glare)
      Wojo: I didn't say anything, Barn!
  • Meaningful Name: The aging inspector who looks back fondly on the life-threatening shootouts of the old days, waxes nostalgic about his old comrades getting shot down in their prime, and doesn't understand the modern force's need for things like proper procedures, suspects' rights, and paperwork is named "Luger."
  • Midseason Replacement: Season 1 premired January 23, 1975, and ran only 13 episodes.
  • Minion with an F in Evil: A mobster trying to flee into the East River turns back to save Wojo from drowning. He complains bitterly to the squad that he just "can't help himself" from doing things like volunteering as a Big Brother and working at a crisis hotline.
  • Mistaken for Gay: In "Stakeout", Barney and Fish are getting an apartment in order to stakeout a drug operation across the street. The landlord thinks they're a couple.
  • Mistaken for Prostitute:
    • The man who hits on Fish while he's on mugging detail offers "her" money. ("Group Home")
    • Levitt assumes that Rachel, Barney's college-age daughter, is a prostitute when she visits the precinct. Barney, of course, is outraged at the assumption. (Rachel isn't wearing anything unusual, either.)
  • Mix and Match: Police Procedural + Work Com (all other police procedurals were dramas before this.)
  • Mushroom Samba: In "Hash", one of the most famous episodes, Wojo's girlfriend-of-the-week gave him a box of homemade brownies laced with hashish. Everyone but Barney (who's watching his weight) become affected by them in different ways - Yemana thinking his legs had walked off, Harris getting giggly, and Fish jumping across a roof to chase down a suspect a third his age.
    Fish: The first time in twenty-five years I've felt really good... and it has to be illegal!
  • My God, What Have I Done?:
    • Cotterman and a jeweler are horrified to realize that one of them—they don't know which—shot and killed a burglar. ("Good-Bye, Mr. Fish: Part 1")
    • In "Possession," the police chaplain loses his temper at the "possessed" Kopechne's insults and tries to attack him. When he calms down, he's so ashamed of himself that he says he can't call himself a priest.
  • Nazi Grandpa:
    • Played for Laughs in "Atomic Bomb." An elderly, German-accented FBI bomb agent is a little too enthusiastic about a physics student's mockup A-bomb.
      Agent: [wistfully] Can you imagine how things would be if we had developed this first?
      Student: We did.
      Agent: [remembering himself] Oh sure, sure. Now we did. But before... we didn't.
    • Played for Drama with the seemingly-funny and whimsical Mr. Zelinka of the prank shop. The squad assumes that he's the victim of antisemitism when his shop is vandalized with swastikas until they arrest Mr. Baru, the Sole Survivor of Zelinka's Romani "work detail" in the concentration camp Birkenau.
  • New Year Has Come: Season 2's "Happy New Year" takes place on New Year's Eve. See Talking Down the Suicidal below.
  • No, Except Yes: In "The Harris Incident," Barney tries to explain to Wojo that Harris' race gives him a particular set of problems to deal with, after being shot at by fellow cops has (understandably) made Harris angry at the world in general—although here it's not a matter of Insistent Terminology, but Barney grappling with words.note 
    Wojo: I thought those differences weren't important anymore!
    Barney: They're not! [beat] But they are.
    Wojo: Thanks for clearing that up.
  • Non Sequitur Distraction: A riot breaks out in front of the precinct station. Barney gives an impassioned speech to a representative, saying among other things "Maybe we are all going to hell in a handbasket." When things quiet down, Dietrich says to Barney "Hell in a handbasket?"
  • Noodle Incident:
    • One one episode, a man is brought into the station for writing on the walls of a women's restroom, where he left his phone number and an offer to engage in an unspeakably disgusting sex act. The act itself is never named out loud, but characters read a transcription of the message and crack jokes about it throughout.
    • The same thing sort of happens with the graffiti in the station house hallway, back by the bathroom. All you can see is CAPTAIN MILLER IS A DIRTY M, but it obviously goes on to elaborate, and we get to see the reactions of everyone who reads it. (Barney's is: "Heh... marvelous.")
  • Obstructive Bureaucrat:
    • Scanlon of Internal Affairs. He takes malicious glee in targeting Barney's squad, frustrated by the fact that they are thoroughly not corrupt.
    • Numerous bit characters appeared from governmental departments who either didn't do much to help, weren't sure what their job was, or were an active hindrance. One example was the man from Immigration who was supposed to have been in the Department of Agriculture. ("Asylum")
  • Odd Couple: At one point during a season long arc in which Harris tries to desperately find a new place to live, he reluctantly accepts Dietrich's invitation to stay at his place. Interestingly Ron Glass would go on to play half of the most famous Odd Couple directly after Barney Miller' went off the air in 1982's The New Odd Couple.
  • Office Romance: Between Wojo and Wentworth before Linda Lavin left the show.
  • One Phone Call: Played straight many, many times, when suspects brought into the 12th get their one phone call.
  • Orphanage of Fear: Children's Center, according to young Jilly Pappalardo and her friend Victor Kreutzer in "Evacuation".
    Jilly I hate it, I don't want to live there, you get pushed around and the food stinks!
    Fish If I can take it, you can take it.
  • Paying for the Action Scene: One or more of the perpetrators of the week have had a fight in an establishment which is pressing charges, then are informed that the establishment will drop the charges if they'll pay for damages.
  • Pilot: "The Life and Times of Captain Barney Miller". After ABC rejected the pilot, it was burned off as an installment of an ABC summer anthology series called Just for Laughs (this was a common network practice for failed pilots back in The Seventies). However, favorable reaction to the pilot and interest by an ABC director named John Rich led the network to revive the show.
  • Police Procedural: With a heavy emphasis on the paperwork.
  • Poorly Disguised Pilot: Season 2 episode "Fish" (Dec. 4, 1975), besides being the first appearance of Steve Landesberg as Dietrich, also takes place mostly at Fish's house and introduces his daughter Beverly. It was in fact a back-door pilot for a Fish spinoff series. Fish the series didn't debut until 1977, and when it did, it was with a different actress as Bernice, and the character of Beverly was never seen or mentioned.
  • Premature Encapsulation: "The Desk" is the title of an episode involving a lobotomized criminal and an Amish mugging victim; the following episode, "The Judge", has the subplot revolving around removing Nick Yemana's old desk from the squadroom.
  • The Problem with Pen Island: The broad white, all capital, rounded-corners font of the show's credits wasn't exactly complimentary to series co-creator Theodore J. Flicker.
  • Promotion to Opening Titles: Ron Glass and Jack Soo in the second season; Ron Carey and Steve Landesberg in the fourth. James Gregory also got a promotion in season four, complete with an And Starring credit, but it didn't take, and he was back to guest star billing the following season (though he remained a regular throughout the show's run).
  • Pulled From Your Day Off: In Season 3 finale "Strike" the detectives walk off the job as a part of a citywide police protest, but a call comes in and Barney is suddenly overworked because it's just him, Inspector Luger and Officer Levitt holding down the fort. So Wojo goes out on the call, telling the other guys he'd just do this one. After getting back now Wojo has to process the perpetrator. Another call comes in about a grocery store holdup in progress. They all decide they all need some groceries right now, and if they "happen" across any crime they can make a citizen's arrest.
  • Put on a Bus: Fish at the beginning of Season 4, although he would return as a guest in a couple later episodes.
  • Reality Has No Subtitles:
    • In "Hunger Strike" they bring in a woman who everyone thinks is crazy (she escaped from a mental asylum where she's been held ever since she first arrived in the country 20ish years previously) and speaking her own made-up language. It turns out she is perfectly sane; she's just speaking a rare Macedonian dialect. Dietrich tracks down someone who speaks Macedonian to communicate with her. None of the Macedonian is subtitled.
    • A young German woman is in the precinct and nobody can understand her until Dietrich shows up.
    • Chano's frequent lapses into Spanish when annoyed or upset aren't subtitled.
    • Wojo has conversations in Polish with several characters over the course of the series; though he occasionally translates parts of them into English for Barney (and the audience)'s benefit, others are not subtitled.
  • Recurring Character: Lt. Scanlon from Internal Affairs, Officer Zatelli, gay couple Marty and Darryl, Arnold Ripner, Bruno Binder, Ray Brewer, Arthur Duncan, Mr. Cotterman...
  • Reports of My Death Were Greatly Exaggerated:
    • In "Discovery", Fish's paycheck hasn't arrived. It's because the NYPD thinks he's dead.
    • A man whose obituary is mistakenly run in the paper is arrested when he hits the editor for refusing to correct it.
    • Real Life example: In an early 80's round up of entertainers that died that year, People Magazine included "Barney Miller's Abe Vigoda" among the recently departed. A few weeks later Vigoda sent the magazine a picture of himself in a coffin, saying the trope's name.
  • Required Spinoff Crossover: Dietrich turns up in a Fish episode.
  • Ripped from the Headlines: Most of the cases were loosely based on Real Life stories.
    • The characters would frequently cite the actual articles or court cases that inspired the episode.
    • In "The Layoff" (1975), Barney has to lay off Chano, Harris, and Wojo because New York City is broke and can't pay its bills. In Real Life NYC was in desperate financial straits at the time.
    • In "Protection" the detectives listen to the actual speech by President Ford (The one that inspired the famous Daily News headline 'Ford to City: Drop Dead'), and celebrate when he says that even though he intends to veto any measure to bail out NYC, he intends to keep funds going to essential services such as Fire and Police.
    • In "Hunger Strike", a Macedonian lady has been institutionalized for twenty years as a schizophrenic speaking meaningless gibberish because no one understands her language. This is based on the story of David Tom. A film of his story is in the works.
  • Roof Hopping: The hash brownies consumed in "Hash" allow Fish to jump a 12-foot gap between buildings to run down a burglary suspect.
  • Rule 34: In the episode "The Indian", the detectives catch a shoe fetishist. Wojo says "You can point to any object in the Sears catalog, and there's someone out there who wants to sleep with it."
  • Series Continuity Error: In Season 2 episode "Rain" (Nov. 27, 1975), the leaky roof of the 12th Precinct is blamed on the building being "forty years old", and a maintenance man says the building was built in 1932. In series finale "Landmark" the 12th Precinct is sold to developers when it is discovered to be a historical landmark—Theodore Roosevelt had an office there during his time as New York City Police Commissioner (1895-97).
  • Shaggy Dog Story: In "The Inventor," the squad calls in a hypnotist so Wojo will remember the name a thief shouted to his partner during their escape; all Wojo can remember is "Hey—!" What was it? "Behind you!"
  • Shaped Like Itself: "Mr. Thompson's device is still being examined and tested by our trained examiners and testers."
  • Shout-Out:
    • In one episode, a woman goes to the police because her husband of over 20 years did something different when they were having sex, and she now thinks that he's a replacement. One of the detectives sardonically says to her, "Did you check for pods?" which is a reference to Invasion of the Body Snatchers.
    • The beggar in "The Harris Incident", who finances a very nice house and nanny after being laid off from Wall Street, is a reference to the Sherlock Holmes story "The Man with the Twisted Lip."
    • In the episode "Obituary" a newspaper reporter's city editor is named Lou. Lampshaded by Harris.
    • In the episode "The Search", Dietrich mentions a children's show called Inverebrates, Inverebrates, Inverebrates. This is a parody of an ABC Sunday afternoon children's show Animals, Animals, Animals which was hosted by Hal Linden.
    • In the episode "Uniform Days", a criminal complains that he's not being treated like they do on Dragnet. Dietrich promptly engages him in Jack Webbish small talk about the pot holders that he makes, complete with Dragnet style quick cuts between the two. After the suspect looks confused Dietrich says "You wanted Dragnet, didn't you?"
    • In the episode "Discovery" Fish talks of a film in which 'they turned old people into crackers and fed them to young people'.
    • Dietrich's concern for a pleasant amnesiac in "Eviction" leads Barney to caution him on falling in love with suspects;
    Barney. Dietrich, I don't have to remind you about the danger of getting personally involved with a suspect.
    Dietrich. Ah, I can handle it, Barn.
    Barney. I mean, this is no Mickey Spillane novel, where the hard-boiled detective falls for the beautiful amnesiac.
    Dietrich. She's just another case to me. [pause] With your average sensational gams.
    (He drops into a very slight Bogart drawl on that line. Nails it cold.)
  • Shut In: In "The Recluse" the 12th arrests a man who ignored a summons to jury duty. It turns out that the man hasn't left his apartment in thirty years. Being outside in New York City promptly kills him.
  • Sitcom
  • Somebody Else's Problem: In "Noninvolvement", Wojo arrests a man who could have intervened in a purse-snatching but didn't, causing another headache for Barney.
  • Spicy Latina: Detective Battista, one of the several attempts to add another detective to the squad. Appeared twice in Season 3.
    • Miss Elezondo in "Eviction" is another one as is Teresa Tasco in "Strip Joint" and Miss Del Fuego in "The Courtesans" — all played by Rosanna DeSoto.
  • Spin-Off: Fish.
  • Spiritual Successor: Night Court, created by former Barney Miller writer Reinhold Weege.
  • Split Personality: The guy arrested for assault in "Power Failure" says he didn't commit the assault, his split personality did. The split personality later emerges, cheerfully admits the deed, and demands to be let go. Later on a third, unknown and very polite personality comes out.
  • Springtime for Hitler: In "The Inventor", Harris needs places to put all the profits from Blood on the Badge, and he offers to bankroll an inventor's forever life battery. The inventor sees through this, correctly noting that Harris is looking for the battery to fail so he can claim a write off. The inventor says, "I'll take your money, Sargent, and my battery will be such a success, I'll push you into the 7% tax bracket!"
  • Spotlight-Stealing Squad: The show was originally intended to focus on Barney's home life as well as the activities of the precinct, but the writers soon came to realize that the latter were funnier and more interesting than the former, so Barney's wife and kids were shifted Out of Focus and then moved offscreen entirely by season 2 (see The Ghost, above).
  • Stock Sitcom Grand Finale
  • Stop Being Stereotypical:
    • Harris is very irritated at a Jamaican doctor who claims to be under a curse from a voodoo priestess.
    • Marty's partner, Mr. Driscoll, exasperatedly asks him to "stop reinforcing the stereotype" on one visit to the squadroom.
  • Studio Audience: Used for the first three seasons, before being discarded in favor of a (very sparsely employed) Laugh Track.
    • At times during the three part final episode, the chuckles of the crew can be heard faintly in the background.
  • Taking the Bullet: In "Hair", Det. Gardeno, a temporary transfer to the 12th Precinct, takes a bullet for Chano. Subverted when a shamefaced Gardeno admits to Barney that it was an accident; he knocked down Chano not to take the bullet for him, but because he was turning to run away.
  • Talking Down the Suicidal: A semi-regular occurence; the squad will get a call about a jumper and then return with the would-be suicide. In "Happy New Year" Fish goes out to talk someone down while a woman is having a baby at the precinct. He fails, and the jumper jumps. After the woman delivers Fish shows up and is told about the delivery.
    Fish: You win some, you lose some.
  • Technology Marches On: In one episode a man threatens a deli owner when his winning lottery ticket is void because the owner didn't send it to the lottery authority in time. Today this is handled automatically by the lottery machines.
  • Tension-Cutting Laughter: It's the audience rather than the characters, but the joke is still a tension-breaker. After the sobering account of the Birkenau concentration camp in which Mr. Baru was the only survivor from thousands of Roma, and the inability to jail Zelinka, the ex-Nazi, Baru has to make one confession to the squad:
    "I have over three hundred parking tickets."
  • Thanksgiving Episode: "Thanksgiving Story", in which a man is brought into the precinct for stabbing his brother-in-law with a fork over Thanksgiving dinner.
  • This Is Reality: One criminal copycats heists from shows and TV movies. They catch him after he fails to pull off a subway heist.
  • Those Two Guys: Harris and Dietrich.
  • Tontine: A season 8 episode revolves around one of these. The remaining two shareholders, a pair of amicable elderly men, tried playing cards to determine who would "bow out," as it were.
  • Turn in Your Badge: Barney has to do this in "Eviction (Part 1)". As is typical of this low-key cop show, it's because Barney was trying to avoid an ugly confrontation. He is relieved of duty after dragging his feet about enforcing a court order to eject some renters from their soon-to-be-demolished apartment building.
  • Twenty Minutes into the Future: A toy inventor creates a toy called Ooze about five years before Nickelodeon made it famous. ("Toys")
    • In "Homicide (Part 2)" Harris has a picture of a chopped up body on his desk. Mr Cotterman sees it and says, "Who takes pictures of cold cuts?" Now thanks to social media, quite a few people do.
  • Uncanceled: The pilot was originally not picked up, and just "burned off" in the summer. However the ratings of that one showing revived interest in the concept, and more episodes were ordered the next season.
  • Uncoffee: Wojo tries to come up with a coffee substitute during a drought and uses Dietrich's idea of hot Dr. Pepper.
  • The Unpronounceable: Various people with foreign names, such as a Polish drama critic named Zbigniew Psczola. "You spell it like it sounds, pay ess chay zay oh ell ah." This was a running gag with Wojciehowicz.
  • Unusual Euphemism: Harris' many creative names for the mental ward of Bellevue Hospital.
    Dietrich: My favorite was "the Disoriented Express."
  • Vitriolic Best Buds: Harris and Dietrich again. They're even roomies at several points.
  • Waiting for a Break: Dietrich isn't really waiting for one, but according to a character who claims to be a time traveler from the future (and who for the most part doesn't show any other obvious signs of being crazy, so that the detectives all wind up halfway believing him), he eventually gets one anyway. The character's reaction to learning who Dietrich is strongly implies he's a household name in the future.
    Dietrich (as everyone else stares at him following this revelation): I couldn't have done it without you guys.
  • Well-Intentioned Extremist: Bruno Binder, a neighborhood vigilante who turns up in several episodes.
  • Wham Episode: Recurring character Mr. Cotterman, a frequently-robbed liquor store owner, is killed off in "Homicide, part 2", during the 12th Precinct's brief reassignment as a homicide-only squad.
  • Will Talk For A Price: The squad keeps a supply of petty cash on hand to pay off informants.
  • Work Com: With a little Dom Com thrown in the first season.
  • Write Who You Know: in-universe Gets Det. Harris in trouble when his thinly veiled portrait of sleazy attorney Arnold Ripner in his novel isn't veiled enough.
  • You Look Familiar:
    • Steve Landesberg appeared as accused fake priest "Father" Paul in the Series 2 episode "Doomsday" before being cast as Dietrich later in the season.
    • Ron Carey played bank robber Angelo "the Mole" Molinari in the Series 2 episode "The Mole", and began appearing as Officer Levitt starting in Series 3.
    • Before being cast as recurring character Lt. Scanlon, George Murdock appeared as an Air Force master sergeant reporting a bomb threat to an Air Force base in the Series 3 episode "Group Home".
    • The show made frequent use of the same actors, so a mugging victim in one episode might reappear as an armed robbery suspect the next season.
    • Recurring character Bruno Binder has a wife whom he beats. The same actress who played his wife shows up as a new detective sent to replace Chano (the request had been sent two years preveiously), while Binder is in the squadroom looking at mugshots to identify the man who robbed his store. They don't recognize each other.
    • Character actor Kenneth Tigar appeared in six episodes, playing five different characters. Actor Arny Freeman did five characters in six episodes as well.
  • Your Television Hates You: Played for Drama in the first-season episode "The Hero", where Chano has to shoot (and kill) two bank robbers who took hostages. He goes home and turns on the radio to find that every station is leading with that story. Even the Spanish-language station.