- Hair of Gold, Heart of Gold.
- Action Girl
- Genki Girl
- Innocent Blue Eyes
- Nice Girl
- Smart Girl
- Thou Shalt Not Kill
- Only Sane Woman (sometimes)
Bulma Briefs (ブルマ; Buruma)
Voiced by (Japanese): Hiromi Tsuru
Voiced by (English): Wendee Swan (Harmony Gold); Maggie Blue O'Hara, Lalainia Lindbjerg, France Perras (BLT/Ocean); Leslie Alexander (DB Movie 2), Tiffany Vollmer, Monica Rial (Kai, DB Movie 1 onwards) (Funimation), Leda Davies, Kristin Nowosad (Blue Water); Jodi Forrest, Sharon Mann (The History of Trunks) (AB Groupe/"Big Green"); Claudia Thompson (Animax)
Voiced by (Latin American): Rocío Garcel (current voice), Mónica Manjarrez (Majin Buu saga, GT and Movies 4-13'), Laura Ayala (some episodes), Isabel Martiñón (Z and Movie 4 Dragon Ball)The very first human Goku came across (apart from his grandpa) at the start of the series. One could say she's the trigger that kicks off the series as a whole. Originally on a quest to gather the Dragon Balls for her own reason (to wish for a perfect boyfriend), Bulma gets dragged into the craziness that comes along with the search. Even when the quest is finished, she still keeps close ties with Goku and his friends and helps out whenever possible. Which, considering she's a mechanical whiz, is quite often.
- Can we share? I have OCs I want to share too!
When the sun collapses into the depths of outer space, and you see a familiar smirk on the moons face, know that I am laughing at you all. I am your nightmares, put into a blender with the darker parts of lovecraft, some crushed ice, and a hint of cinnamon.Know that when you see eyes in the darkness, and the silly string begins to cocoon you, don't fear. I still need you alive to buy my seasonal waterfront property. Come on, I having trouble trying to sell it! So what if it is where the Usher house collapsed! they were a bunch of weirdos anyway, a brother and a sister that seemed a bit too close. Pale too, like vampires, or the fanbase of Second Life. I mean, people, get some sun!Even us eldritch abominations get out from our depths too!Now what was I saying? I will take your mind and replace it with pink elephants dancing to the hamster dance at half speed! You will beg for me to end the world!Too bad I can't. Powers stripped when I got fired. Who knew Chuthie loved that damned beagle so much? I mean it was kinda awkward that it couldn't breathe at the depths of his apartment. I just went to the Mi-go to get it some gills. It wasn't my fault they took out its' brain, put it in a jar, and ate the body with some navy beans and chianti?
- GIFT: an avatar of such. Think if Nylarthotep lost his powers and had to resort to trolling on the internet.
- Escape From Fanservice Island:
- "Ack! You know, I just realized something. Maybe if I had just asked politely instead of kidnapping you seven, I could have gotten this fort and got off this island anyway..." Zeschariah "Zeskit" Kittenmuffin, AKA "The Troll"
- "Yes I am, I'll tell you what. I mean— uh... OOOOOH..." Yank Yill (although he and the other _anks are brought back after the Intermission)
- "Oh. Well. Did you really think a powerless kid like you could take down a grown man serving under the Great Zephie—?" Gank Gill
- "Roh no! Rang it! And I just round erough rade for this to rork!"note Rank Rill
- "Is that a play on how I'll be dead because of something you—?" Pank Pill
- "'Art?' This is not an 'art!' 'Art' is what hippies do to pass the time when they're not smoking weed and sending twig boys to starve themselves to save the trees!" Oank Oill
- "And he said something about accidentally taking one of the teens with him..." Bank Bill
- "See? That's my soul-surgery power, I'll tell you what." Mank Mill
- "The Black Sun will rise." Wank Y. Will
- "WHY do you insist on trying to stop what is certain?!" The Three Boundary Guardians, after fusing themselves together
- "If you really think you're smarter than me, LET'S SEE HOW YOU HANDLE THE BLACK SUN! HUH? HUH???!!" Zephieye Smith, AKA "The Lightning Cultist," AKA "The Great Zephieye"
- "I WISH UPON YOU: STARVATION!" Faminehorse
- "I WISH UPON YOU: DISEASE!" Pestilencehorse
- [The Wank _ Wills, excepy Y. as he was part of the Intermission group.]
- "I WISH UPON YOU: VIOLENCE!" Warhorse
- "I WISH UPON YOU: NOT LIVING ANYMO— wait, what's that blinking light?" Deathhorse
- "Yeah, I'm terrible. But hey, I'm Zeskit's friend. Were you expecting anything different?" Katjus "Kath-ustin" Othtrolll [sic], AKA "That Other Troll"
- "What are you waiting for, Miyazumi? Shoot me." Kank Kill. Unlike the other _ank _ills, he does not come back to life.
- "Just because Pyronica stripped me of my abilities does not render me powerless! En garde!" The revived "Anti-Sage"/Black Hexagram Emergency Guide (she was technically "dead" for a while, then briefly got brought back just to get one-shotted by Stan)
- "You idiots are your own pains in the ass!" Pyronica Deadstar
- "I wasn't just joking when I told y'all to die, eh."
"How did you know?"
You feel your muscles become weak, unable to move a thing.
Your bones feel hollow, as though they become liquid, unable to stay stable.
Numbing, overwhelming pain shoots through every nerve in your body, all centered on the mind.
Impending doom approaches!
"Everything's set for the big finale! Get ready for Weirdmageddon 2.0: Adults Only version! And to show that I mean it, guess which pair of twins is getting roasted alive!"
- Fire = Time (Guarantee; goddamn Uchihas)
- Shadow = Space (Likely; Shadow and Space are both associated with vampires in SBIG)
- Forest = Heart (Forest's the "main one" in SBIG, Nepeta's the "main one" in SBIG/always)
- Spirit = Breath (Forgot why; I think Tavros had something to do with it)
- Water = Light (I recall trying to specifically avoid Light = Light because it seemed obvious...)
- Light = Life (By proxy; also, the Sage of Light of SBIG, just like the rainbow of twelve elements, is associated with healing and shit. Also also, Rose Quartz. Heals and loves life.)
I generally care less about spoilling Ordinarily United before its first chapter is even out than I do about spoiling Steve Buhvillen's Intriguing Group. So here you go, pretty much the full story right here. Just about.
Main human characters
"Carlson," the "Knight Astronaut"
- Cold Turkeys Are Everywhere: Sweet mother of mercy, every time he tries to do something, the world utterly conspires to make it the opposite.
- The biggest and most obvious is his efforts to cut back a little on porn. Well, his future girlfriend is utterly in love with it and sees nothing really wrong with it as long as it's not interfering with work, and during the story proper he's surrounded by perma-nude, big-
Unitias as a Whole
Champions and non-Champions alikeThe Unitias are a mysterious race of humanoids that claim to be, in some way, linked to existence as it stands itself. They are nude female humanoids that reside in the Unit-Verse, constantly (temporarily) killing each-other to pin after some living thing that waas indirectly created by all the endless planets they formed. They are literally unlimited in number, with more Unitias still popping in to existing all the time, in "infinite sets."
- Cute Monster Girl: Yes, they have some exaggerated proportions and yes, their default expression is a bloodthirsty look. And yes, they're all hyper-violent, borderline yanderes. But still, considering how they're supposed to be the incarnations of various things and elements of everything, ranging from mundane objects to extremely abstract multi-dimensional concepts, they're pretty tame.
- Humanoid Abomination: Their appearance is remarkably tame compared to outright eldritch horrors,
- More Teeth than the Osmond Family: Can be seen with their default Slasher Smile, but it's not noticeable when they're not really provoked or when they're bored.
- Shameless Fanservice Girl: Not only do they constantly run around naked at all times and know how much some people would hate that, they are actively against putting on clothes for any reason, to the point where persistently asking them to Please Put Some Clothes On is a huge Berserk Button of theirs.
ChampionsSufficiently powerful Unitias who have toyed around with their abilities longer, getting enough of a grasp to master them. There is no permanent way to tell a Champion apart from a non-Champion, but the Champions can make the slashed "U" symbol on their asses gain an elaborate, wing-like additional pattern.
- Elite Mook: Much more powerful than the regular Unitias. Regulars are mostly along the lines of "normal supervillains/superheroes," while Champions have godly planet-reshaping abilities at the very least.
- Expy: A recycle of the concept of Charged Emazhes from Emazh In.
- Quirky Miniboss Squad: The main group seen — that
- The Dragon: Wants to be this. Whether Origin actually sees her as her top enforcer or not is a completely different story.
- But for Me, It Was Tuesday: Doesn't even remember off the top of her head creating the very Earth that Carlson and Stella were from, because she aided in making so many other universes. She needed to be reminded by Unitia Law about that.
The first Unitia, most powerful, the "leader" of them (but few, if any, other Unitias actually listen to her), and supposedly older than "existence" as humanity comprehended it. As explained by her, she just popped in to near-nothingness, already with near-omniscience, and knew that she had exactly 6.16 minutes to herself before the other Unitias will start spontaneously appearing indefinitely. In her "game," defeating her in a duel will allow the person unlimited free access to both their world and the Unit-Verse. The thing is, nobody has managed to defeat her in a duel. Ever.
- Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: Spends most of the story's beginning coming off as the Only Sane Man of them, being unusually stoic for a Unitia and not doing much worse than spectating some of the lategame matches. She's actually kind of the most possessive, most assholeish of the bunch.
- Even Evil Has Standards: Even she thinks Yuullieke is a giant ass.
- Evil Counterpart: To Carlson. Both of them are slightly aware of their overpowered status in the story but aren't completely Genre Savvy. They're bored as a result of it and make up increasingly insane situations just to give some challenge to how powerful they are. The main difference is that Origin had long not been in touch with humanity, while Carlson still holds his emotional ties to Earth and the whole story is about him not completely giving up on living an at least somewhat "normal" life.
- Exact Words: Claims that life is more "fun" if she personally never told a direct lie, but instead toyed around with words
- God: Pretty much this to the multiverse of Ordinarily United. She has some doubts, as she's sure that there might have been something that made her, and just intentionally plopped her and the Unitias in to nothingness so that they would think that they were the only ones out there period. But despite the infinite power of the Unitias, that question still remains unanswered.
- Knight of Cerebus: Even the other Champions were kind of mostly in the Friendly Enemy category. Then she comes, someone who is far more serious about trying to actually possess Carlson (and maybe Stella/Kameel Kick if the chance shows itself). Heck, as the story progresses, she shows up more and more often in the background (spending the first several chapters not even appearing in person except the tail end of 1; then she shows up briefly during the double-Champion portion, then a little more in the paint jungle, then she's right alongside Psychic) as the story gets darker, and when she actually enters stage during Psychic's part of the story, things get really dark.
- Mirror Boss: The third and final "round" of her battle consists of her making a rainbow-themed counterpart to Carlson's Grayscale Boomerang and fighting him with a body that's specifically customized to be at his exact limits.
- Number of the Beast: Great Pikmin Fan wrote this. Of course she's associated wiht 616 to some degree:
- There was a gap of 6.16 minutes (not 6 minutes and 16 seconds; 6 minutes, and 16 hundreths of a minute) from when she was spawned in to existence and when the rest of the Unitias were.
- Slasher Smile: Holy-lito, she claims that she rarely smiles just so that her gigantic rows of teeth would immediately scare off anyone she's trying to intimidate. There's a reason why she calls that the "DEATH GOD GRIN."
- You Gotta Have Blue Hair: Azure-ish by default. It (and her skin) can change all sorts of colors when she gets serious, resembling Kristie from Fan's other story Emazh In.
Other humans of note
Carlson's official "cop"/knight-partner of sorts. A high-ranking martial arts expert famous for being able to rip people in two just with kicks.
- Amazing Technicolor Population: She is a very flushed pink, yet stated to be completely human.
- Ascended Extra: As the story goes on, she communicates increasingly often with Carlson and Stella and eventually ends up in the Unit-Verse as a way of "shaking things up" when Stella herself complains that the Champions were getting a bit repetitive.
- Overshadowed by Awesome: Her strength and agility would be impressive in some other stories, or even if she was aligned with different people. However, she's unlucky enough to be partnered with a blatant, overpowered parody of Plot Armor that can demolish almost anything almost instantly.
- Punny Name: A corruption of "cameltoe," with the "toe" replaced by a "kick" (the obvious connection being that both are foot-related). We never actually see her cameltoe in-story, as it's implied that her panties are so tight that it just looks like her waist area has a white pattern around it, and this story never shows (complete) genitalia. "Kameel" is her actual first name, by the way.
- Take Our Word for It: Her panties are tight enough for the crotch to count as frontal nudity. It's exactly because of this (Fan likes to pretend he doesn't do anything full-frontal, but the Unitias of this very story disprove that... kinda) that we don't really see how tight they are from the front. They're always covered by Scenery Censor to some degree. Played with a bit when, at one point, the story seemingly shows her undergarments in full view and there does not appear to be any tightness at all... but then she says that she had to switch out underwear type, because her usual kind was all in the wash. Fan eventually posted detailed concept art that gives an unobscured view:
Carlson's ex-girlfriend by the time the story began. Extremely hot-tempered and prone to using violence to get what she wants.
- Hate Sink: Fan says that she was meant to be completely unlikeable. He gave her a design that was, in his words, "fan art bait" to see if there would be people who try to Draco in Leather Pants-itize her soley because of her design and for no other reason.
- Ironic Name: It's a corruption of "you'll like." She's the one character in the story that's meant to just be purely hated; even Unitia Origin, the closest thing OU has to a Big Bad, has some depth and standards. Yuullieke is just an abusive asshole, shell and core.
- Take That!: She's by and large a criticism at disproportionally attack-happy tsundere-types who's actions border in to downright abuse. "Normally," they may be paired with perverted lead heroes (which Fan is, if anything, less fond of, considering how much worse the Blood King from Steve Buhvillen's Intriguing Group is compared to Yuullieke), but Carlson is absolutely far from one of them.
- Would Harm A Child: Threatens to harm a random kid off the street with a knife if Carlson doesn't take her back. Turns out it's a fake knife, which she tries to use to get out of her threat, but neither Carlson, the kid, nor the cops are laughing.
Bonus and miscellaneous characters
EFFI Origin Story
It started off as, like, a joke thing that might have originally been a low-effort "shitpost" story similar to Axe Effect: Giffillions. Something where maybe .GIFfany tricked Soos in to thinking she was nice, but then wrapped him up with wire and dragged him to get downloaded to her computer. It'd be a black comedy. While dragging him, she'd come across Darlene dragging Stan in a wrapping of spider web. Darlene would look at .GIFfany, smirk, and say something like "Men, am I right?" Then I thought about rounding things off with Pyronica finding a way to capture Ford or something stupid like that. Then I thought back to this old copy-pasta I saw on GameFAQS's Super Smash Bros. Brawl boards, about Link spying on people in the shower. I think the "original" was with Peach, Zelda, and Samus, but I also found a variation where he was spying on Captain Falcon and... two other dudes, all I can remember was the line "Captain Falcon swung his sweaty *** from side to side." (The original was about Zelda's hair; and yes, the censorship was part of the post.) I thought "Imagine if someone did something like that, but it was Dipper or something, and he was peeping on like, Pyronica, .GIFfany, and Darlene. And then they found out and promptly kicked his ass. (I hate pervert characters. I know Dipper is canonically better than that, but making him in to some straw pervert played for laughs sounds exactly like the kind of stupid crap I'd expect from the sort of cheap fan fiction that hypothetical story would have made fun of. So I'm not mocking Dipper's character, I'm mocking that sort of stuff.) But both of those got me thinking about a semi-legit, kind of long-ish story involving the three of them. Especially as I had looked around and found that, to my knowledge, nobody has actually done a story about the three of them. (Nothing was advertized as such on fanfiction.net. In Archive of Our Own, with unlimited character tagging, it's more definite — there's barely any .GIFfany-tagged fics, and fewer Darlene ones. By the way, no, copy-paste "It's really similar to the events of the show down to conversations happening word for word but I swear after 39 chapters totally new content will happen! See! Dipper and Pacifica actually kiss here! They didn't in the show! Yes, all that copy-paste was completely necessary for that!" doesn't count.) So I think I ended up with the embrassing honor of writing fanfiction.net's first-ever fic with naked .GIFfany, naked Melody, naked Darlene, and Pyronica (who was already naked) at the same time and antics about Ford and Soos' asses with Stan's "Stanhood." (When I say "antics about Ford and Soos' asses with Stan's 'Stanhood,'" I don't mean like THAT. There's no fhacking going on between man and brother, or man and son-figure. If you want Stan fhacking then there's Journals of Wisdom, Power, and Courage, but it's not with another Pines it's with the Summerween Trickster.)—-
Main/ (or, Webcomic/)
- In a time before the Internet, two groups ruled the Earth: Buttbarians, and Dragons.
The Dragons were assholes. They were a group of ten mighty oppressors, compared to the billions of Buttbarians around that were swinging swords and the like at them. Over the years, the Dragons have become increasingly active and increasingly assholeish, forcing the Buttbarians to retreat to the far, uncomfortable corners of the world...
Until one mighty hero stood up. Obsessed with swords, this was one Eve Exodice, beloved by many, who was the first Buttbarian to reclaim terratory taken by the second in command Gary himself. Eve was loved, both because of that and her many other actions of heroism. So loved, in fact, that she ultimately took in more people to her relationship than anyone else had — 900, in fact.
899 wives and 1 husband, they all lived together in the safest spot on the planet from the wrath of the Dragons. Safe thanks to Eve. Located in a castle in the center of the haven of a city they made, the harem farmed pigs, practiced sword battles, and watched television programs. Life was good in that remote corner, with Eve looking out over everyone with a wise eye. That is, until now, when everything changed...
- Stylistic Suck: Part of it was Fan's way of excusing his own not-very-efforted art, as he explains. It's not that he's incapable of drawing at least decently (the "action shots" of Eve, and several scenes of Kevin almost look like they could pass as something professional), it's just that he feels it's a lot easier and faster to get the comic out if it's in a sketchy MS Paint style with thin black outlines.
- World of Ham: One of the first things we see in the exposition is a fisher wife reeling in a fish that yells "FUCK YOU," suddenly grows the size of a shark, and tries to eat her. She shouts "FUCK YOU BACK" and punches it back in the ocean with a punch. This is standard for the comic's world.
- Audience-Alienating Premise: Even ignoring the polygamy (although the story actively avoids just about every harem cliche in the book, helping matters is that the author himself hates a lot of those cliches outright), the comic has an intentionally sloppy art style for the most part and it's about naked people with large asses. Even ignoring that, the dragons give off the idea that it's a furry webcomic (particularly in that the "cover art" for the first volume is Ron shaking his ass to the screen, not to mention the comic's very title; although later issues show the humanoid protagonists), turning off non-furries or their hatebase, while the fact that the anthro-characters are the villains (much like Revealica from Steve Buhvillen's Intriguing Group, except Revealica has the added bonus of being intentionally designed to be flat-out creepy and deranged looking) would likely not be interested in that. As with a lot of GPF's works, it's a comedy that is also heavy on continuity. So really, the circle that would likely enjoy this the most are
- Viewer Gender Confusion:
- Invoked given that the dragons are identical aside from coloration and horn number. But that orange dragon? That's the female of the group, and her name is Olivia.
- While Eve is obviously female while capeless and shadeless, her extremely messy hair combined with her habit of wrapping her cape around herself almost completely and wearing gigantic sunglasses has led some people who glanced at the comic to think she's a man. Not helping matters is that she's an expy of the testosterone-poisoned Kamina. This does not apply for Matrarx so much, as her long hair is visible outside of her cape.
open/close all folders
Eve and her Spouces (The Exodices)
The Exodices as a Whole/Shared Tropes
- Battle Harem: An extremely obvious example, as they are a literal harem (900 legal spouces) and are all trained swordfighters.
- Dwindling Party: Inverted. Team Bacon starts off as just the four with their own folders (minus Eve, who had gone on her own a while ago and just kind of "went missing"), but then more and more wives get added in, to the point where after Volume 1, 100 wives trickle in per volume, with the exception of Volume 10 (as everyone's already there).
- Full-Frontal Assault: Their only outfits could barely be considered loincloths, and they are all perpetually topless. Even when out of "battle uniform," best seen at work or at home.
- Shout-Out: Let's see...
- The homes of the main four (excluding Eve)? One's from a swamp, one's from a mountain, one's from near the ocean, and one's from a canyon.
- Stripperiffic: They only wear strings around their waists that drape down one piece of cloth, leaving their tops and asses completely exposed and barely covering their crotches. The other Buttbarians are not that much better, but some of them at least cover their chests. Eve, however, wears a cape on top of that.
"0." Eve Exodice Herself
An absolutely legendary warrior capable of amazing feats who supposedly won a battle against the second-strongest dragon. She
- The Ace: Eve is extremely tough, is the person single-handedly responsible with a number of inventions in this world such as cars or airplanes, has super speed, and her sword swings are able to cut gigantic canyons. It takes the continent-sized Kevin to really bring anything resembling fear in her.
- Cant Tell A Lie: Inverted in Volume 6, where Gregg and Dragbarian cast a spell on her that makes her unable to tell the truth for 24 hours. The harem soon figures out several ways around this, like Jillian writing a sign for her to hang around her neck telling everyone else that she means the opposite of what she says. Later, when Gregg destroys the sign and nobody else is around, Eve figures out that she can just say "I can say..." followed by what she actually wants to say, given that she can't just say those things without "I can say" in front, which becomes a minor Verbal Tic after the spell is "destroyed" by Eve's Hot-Bloodedness, before she gets used to dropping it.
- Expy: She's pretty much Kamina with superpowers, and (somewhat) actual fearlessness rather than pretending to be fearless to get peoples' hopes up.
- Large Ham: When Eve's out in public, she tends to shout up a storm at anyone for anything.
- Mean Character, Nice Actor: Puts on a show of being a no-nonsense, extremely feiry warrior as her public image of Eve the hero. Get to talk to her personally, however, and that shatters: she's actually a lot more calm than that, and while still a Hot-Blooded Cloudcuckoolander, she's generally sweeter than what she says on the news may imply.
- Older Than They Look: Bordering one Really 700 Years Old, but Eve is actually in her nineties. She looks like she's somewhere from her mid-20s to early-30s, as does her entire harem. Then again, it's never elaborated on how Buttbarians age.
- Take Our Word for It: Subverted. For a large portion of the story, we never actually see a full view of Eve's ass — she's usually wearing her cape over it, but pre-cape flashbacks show it just barely off-panel, behind objects, etc, while the comic is otherwise completely indescriminant about showing butts. Her butt is also said to be exceptionally "perfect and beautiful," and when it's shown through an Imagine Spot by Lowyu, it's even covered by a bright light. By the tenth and final volume, suddenly the comic opens with a panel with her cape flipping over as she descends and showing her ass, with nothing too unusual about it other than that it's about as big as the butts of her harem.
Pretty much the actual protagonist for the bulk of the story. Rain is a highly spiritual "mountain hippie" that always tends to think of abstract and oddly idealistic solutions for everything, such as simply trying to win over the Dragons with pie.
- Cloudcuckoolander: Probably a bigger one than Eve herself. Her hippie talk
Part of the official police force and "the muscle" (despite being skinny and buxom) of the initial main bacon-saving group. She's pretty short-tempered, and hails from a canyon filled with the undead.
- Amazing Technicolor Population: Her skin is a pale blue, just as the "prototype" character that would become her from Fan's scrapped idea A Slash of Mortality (Chrissy).
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: She always seems to be a bit on the short-tempered side, at least at first. Heck, whenever Eve had a new date, she's the one to tell said date that she or he will never end up being a permanent spouce. That is justified in that the last person Eve dated/married before Lowyu was actually Tilly, a toxic asshole. When she finally lets her guard down on Adam, that happens to be the next person who becomes an asshole ex.
The unofficial "entertainer" of the intial main bacon-saving group, given that she's a stand-up comedian from a seaside area who enjoys lightly teasing those around her. Long ago, she lost both her arms in a battle with a mysterious opponent; it's implied that said opponent was Matrarx.
- Handicapped Badass: Even without the arms, she's one of the toughest characters in the entire story. Survived a battle against Matrarx, which doesn't seem that impressive until you consider that Eve herself was the only other Buttbarian to do so? Check. Performs advanced sword skills that even many able-bodied people can't do? Check. One survived a tornadonote by just wrapping her legs around a tree? Check.
- Perpetual Smiler: Usually seen smiling.
- Serious Business: It's extremely unwise to diss stand-up comedy in front of her. She takes her job pretty seriously, and is known for going on rambles when the entire act as a whole is insulted. She is, however, fine with her material specifically or the material of other comics getting criticism. She just doesn't like the whole job being dismissed as something pointless.
- You Gotta Have Blue Hair: Very lengthy blue hair, at that. It stops just short of her butt, to the delight of ass enthusiasts both in- and out-universe.
- The One Guy: Eve's only husband. That stayed a husband, anyway. He's a major character (but not the main one, nor even the center of the harem) kind of on the side, who occasionally exhibits a lot of stereotypically masculine behavior as a parody of how often Smurfette Principle-characters are some times kept as being "the girl of the group." He's sometimes referred to as "just" "the guy of the group."
- Speed Sex: One of his main problems and his main motivation to join Team Bacon, as he thinks the "strength that comes with fighting Dragons" makes him better in bed. He's said to be... okay with the other wives, it's just with Eve herself that he barely lasts, but this is a problem nearly all of the other wives have anyway.
The Demon Dragons
A band of ten (and a half; more on that later) demonic dragons from hell that have been tormenting humanity/Buttbariananity for as long as they existed.
- Affably Evil: Ron, Yessir, and Olivia are surprisingly friendly for reptillian monsters that work for an asshole that wants to burn and torment humanity. The former never even really insults Team Bacon (until his Berserk Button is pressed) and is on generally good terms with them, even treating their battle as just a game.
- Color-Coded Characters: With Kevin being the exception, it's the same color as the first letter of their names. With Kevin being included, their names are also the same number of letters as their colors:
- Ron: Red
- Yessir: Yellow
- Brad: Blue
- Payton: Purple
- Olivia: Orange
- Gregg: Green
- Carl: Cyan
- Pike: Pink
- Gary: Gray
- Kevin: Black
- Drabarian is more of a silver/white, for his dragon-half anyway
- Palette Swap: The full-dragons all look alike, with the exceptions being their colors, sizes, and the number of "branch" horns from their head (which increases based on their "order:" Ron has one horn, Yessir two, Brad three, etc).
- Serial Escalation: They start with Ron, who can easily fit on the palm of a hand. Then they just keep getting bigger and bigger, resulting in Kevin — who is the size of a continent.
- Technicolor Fire: They each have color-coded flames. Kevin's are explicitely said to be supernatural Hellfire, it's ambiguous for the rest of them.
- When All You Have Is a Hammer...: Word of God is that all ten Dragons (Dragbarian is kind of the exception, but that's from his Buttbarian half, giving him better hands so that he can use a sword... just to fuck it up) have the exact same powers, with the biggest variance being the temperature of their flames (with Kevin having Hellfire, a very special exception) and, of course, their size. They are still fought very differently mainly due to what equipment they take with them.
An over-the-top martial arts expert obsessed with kung-fu movies.
- Curb-Stomp Battle: Rain pretty much kills him by accident.
- Large Ham: He does not leave a good impression on Team Bacon at all thanks to his over-the-top announcements combined with being utterly tiny. Jillian asks if being ultra-loud is his superpower, which deeply offends him.
- Starter Villain: He's intended to come off as pretty pathetic and as a terrible indicator of what the Dragons are capable of. Yessir is still pretty small, but he's around the point where the Dragons get more competant and have more than one scene.
An optimistic music producer.
A cowardly surfer. Took advantage of the fact that he's the only human/Buttbarian-sized dragon to shape-shift in to a humanoid form as a disguise. While disguised as a Buttbarian to get more information from them, he acted as Rain's bully in high school.
- Knight of Cerebus: Downplayed. Ron and Yessir are almost joke villains. This guy's the first Dragon taken just the slightest bit seriously, and when Dragon Butt stops being purely gag-based and starts it's deeper character development. Hell, shortly after his appearance is the first brief look at Kevin — where he roasts some Buttbarian slaves alive for making the building-sized statue of him "too small," marking the first onscreen Buttbarian deaths in the comic.
The head of a video game tornament-group known as Witch.
A hyper "wild west"-themed train engineer.
- Designated Girl Fight: Inverted. She's — the only female Dragon — is the only one who has a one-on-one fight with Michael, the only male in Eve's harem. The story as a whole has a number of male-on-female battles, but due to the way the structures are set up, it's usually heroic woman vs villainous man. This is the one fight that flips it around.
- The Smurfette Principle: The only female Demonic Dragon. Oddly, she's a huge tomboy and color-coded with something that's not really feminine. (Fan specifically picked orange because it seemed at the time to be the "manliest" color, according to him.)
A circus performer and world-famous actor.
A business worker described as "a cold asshole."
A former drug-dealer who became an artist.
- The Dragon: Figurative and literal (then again, all of the major villains except the exes are dragons) Dragon to Kevin.
- Mistaken Identity: Rain and Michael both think he's Kevin, due to being gigantic and a grayscale color: they hear "black" from Eve and just thought she was exaggerating the scale's colors. No, Gary is gray. Kevin is black. Gary's dying words are him directing to the real Kevin.
- That's No Moon!: How big is he? He manages to disguise himself as a mountain (albeit with his shape-shifting), and Team Bacon is alerted that something is off because no mountain on Earth is that big.
The leader of the Demon Dragons, the head antagonist of the comic, and by far the largest out of all of them. He resides in his mega castle.
- And That's Terrible: Similar to one of his inspirations, the story wastes no time constantly pointing out how much of an asshole he is.
- Jerkass: Even by the standards of the Dragons. The guy is seriously a colossal fucking dick.
- Large and in Charge: The Dragons get bigger the further up the "leadership scale" they are: Ron's the size of a tiny lizard. This guy's the size of a freaking continent.
- Phrase Catcher: The number of non-Dragon characters who talk to him without saying some variation of "WHAT A DICK!" could be counted on one hand. Hell, even many of the Dragons who do talk to him think he's a dick.
- Tom the Dark Lord: All the Dragons have regular human names, but Kevin takes the cake in that he's implied to be Satan himself, but is named Kevin. Or, sorry, Kevin: Professional Asshole for a Living: What a Dick!
The "half" (specifically, his upper half) in "ten in a half:" he was a former Buttbarian who, after his parents were killed shortly after his birth by a Buttbarian assassin, vowed revenge against Buttbarianity and allied with the Dragons, to the point of having an experiment done to him to give him half Dragon DNA.
- Butt-Monkey: Nobody ever takes him seriously. The guy is constantly getting harmed by his own attempts at combat, with his Establishing Character Moment being him tripping and falling with his hands on a red-hot rock, in a reference to a Seinfeld scene where something similar happens with George and an iron.
- Dropped a Bridge on Him: He's anti-climactically killed by Gary immediately after he announced his plans to betray Kevin at the last second. Gary doesn't take kindly to this.
- Full-Frontal Assault: He believes that his Dragon half means he does not need to wear clothes, even though the half is his upper half. He's constantly covered by Scenery Censor techniques.
- Goldfish Poop Gang: Nobody takes him seriously, to the point where even the liazrd-sized Ron was treated as more of a threatening villain than he is.
- Half-Human Hybrid: Well, it's never made crystal clear if any Buttbarians are human (some are obviously not, having features such as unusual natural skin and hair colors, horns, wings, tails, etc), but he's half of that and half dragon. When he says that he's half of each to Jillian, she assumes dragon-fucking was involved (she has a thoughtbubble showing a dragon and a human/Buttbarian head sticking out of the top of a bed; keep in mind that dragons in this comic are not really anthropormorphic at all), until Drabarian swings his sword down her side (which makes it look like it's chopping the though bubble in half) and explaining his cause.
- Too Much Information: In his introduction, he tells the gang about his first prostate exam — which was performed by Brad. So when the group actually fights Brad, they're scared to be clawed by him even after he explains that
- Wall of Text: His backstory is pretty damn long for what should be a simple "my parents are dead; I turned against humanity"-type story.
- Would Hit a Girl: As with the other Dragons sans Olivia, but he stands out a bit in that he's willing to declare an armless woman his "eternal rival" and tries to attack her. Note "tries" — the guy's an idiot, and always hurts himself more than he does to her when they fight.
0. 5 Matrarx
Eve's first-ever lover. Much of her is shrouded in mystery, as even Eve herself realized that she never really got to personally know her before their wedding. Disappeared one night leaving a message that just read "fuck you, we're breaking up;" which was implied to be why Eve had considered polygamy in the first place.
- Evil Counterpart: A downplayed one to Eve; she's not as awful as the Dragons, but she's still a villainous character and one of the very few in the story roughly on Eve's power level. They are also the only two characters to wear capes, although Matrarx's is considerably larger and longer than Eve's. To the point where she keeps tripping over it.
43. 5 Tilly
900. 5 Adam
The very last person Eve dated/married, and the one who ultimately made her swear off adding other members to her harem.
The "True Arena"/Second Half boss rush might be like this:
- Lust Devil/Love God
- Sloth Devil/Teeth
- Greed Devil/Fucking Frost
- Gluttony Devil/Blob Thing (0 Destinies)
- Gluttony Devil/Blob Thing (3 Destinies)
- Gluttony Devil (6 Destinies)
- Professor Eve, the Lightning Cultist, and the Bill Cultist (the latter is mostly kind of a joke, the former two are the real bosses)
- The Skeltaur Knights
- Wrath Devil/Moo' Lord and Envy Devil/Moon Lady
- True Miniboss Battle: The Second-Gen Professors
- Cathedral Mabel
- Pride Evil/Mable the Typomonster
- Creepypasta Sonic: Mis-Edventures Form
- Bonus: "Bill Soul" (Think the Kirby "Soul" bosses)