Characters: Wiki Sandbox

Hecksing Ulumate Crconikals Character Sheet Subpages

  • Hecksing/Hellsing Organizationnote 
  • The Millennium and Their Supperiornote 
  • Misc Characters Introduced in Ulumate Crconikalsnote 
  • Characters Outside of the Organization Introduced Hecksing: The Dawnnote 

Character sheet for Housestuck Hurrcain Crconikals. Be wary of spoilers: Most of them are unmarked, including all folder titles and sections.

  • The Rainbow Crewnote 
  • Villainsnote 
  • Alliesnote 
  • Othernote 
  • See Hecksing Ulumate Crconikals for characters that feature prominantly in Hecksing Ulumate Crconikals and/or Hecksing: The Dawn.note 

[And yes, I do think this might have to be cut into pages right away. Seriously, look at the size of this bastard. Remove all of the level 1 headings and replace the asscaps with... well, more level 1 headings.]

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Rainbow Crew

"Well, to put it bluntly, you are [a geek/dork]. But so am I. We all are here at the Rainbow Crew, and that just might be why we pushed ourselves to become such great people. Not because of the Felt's doings. Not because one of our old band members has set a fort in the Grand Canyon. Certainly not for unpaid assistants, no no no no no! But to look for our own purposes in life while finding purposes of others and helping them live and acheive them. Deep down in our hearts, this was what we were looking for. Geno and Homer did not come in for those reasons. Is that why they're dead? Technically yes, logically there is no way some force struck them down for not fitting them in. I mean, the Pikmin interns did not befriend us for the same emotional reason and they're all alive. But look mam, Homer's and Geno's personalities led to their downfall. Geno was strictly to assign to protect, with little to no guidelines, and died partly due to his kamikaze of the airplane since he lacked a real escape to that carrier. Homer died because his selfishness and lack of plotting got himself killed by the Stalfos. Us, no matter how much we know it, are really working for a better cause.
* Aims flashlight at wall.*
This light represents the population of the planet.
* Holds a rock up, it and his hand blocking the light. *
Now we split things up a bit. This shadow represents the evilness on the planet, with the light being redifined to be the good. Some of us, like you, might think that the world itself is in a bad shape and that you are slowly being consumed into its darkness with no other options, however in reality-
* Replaces rock with a prism, causing a rainbow to shine where the rock was. *
You are contributing to an equally important role with the rest of us to work with the world and make both parties better. Take this rainbow for instance. As seen here, one color by itself won't make a difference in lighting up the dark and some does indeed remain in the form of my arm, but while together their impact is very strong, it's all because each individual puts their own little unique effort into it defined, shaped, and influenced simply by being who they are."
Jake to Roxy, chapter 11.

The Rainbow Crew is the organization from which this story's main heroes operate from. Founded in the first chapter of Hurrcain as a result of mixing both the "Housestucks" with the "Zodiacs," they come into conflict realizing that neither name applies to them. So, for a band with rampant color-coding, they want under this name and the rest was history. Residing in their treehouse since the end of chapter 2, they go out and try to solve whatever issues plagued them at first, before become more of a "regular" crime-fighting organization somewhere between chapters 21 and 22, answering to other crimes. The latter serves as more of the basis of Housestuck: The Split than in Hurrcain Crconikals, as in Hurrcain most of the problems are caused by someone targetting them instead.

Note that many tropes that apply to the "originals" might also apply to their counterparts as well. In that case, any tropes that both of them demonstrate in just about the same way will be covered only under the originals, while the trope list for the counterparts has elements that either deviate from the original's examples or are tropes unique to them alltogether.

    General Tropes 

  • Aborted Arc: The Ichigo-training stuff started taking an abrupt backseat to more "traditional" Rainbow Crew attacks where they all use guns somewhere around when the character development started, then drop alltogether halfway through the Hecksing crossover. Fan says that this was because he was getting rather sick of feeling like he had to put the students of Ichigo's into a specific group-like manner and/or have them constantly talking about the blade, especially since the story has since moved past things like that.
  • Age Cut: The second generation is all either 17 (legal age in Illinois) or 16 (which, admitedly, isn't in that specific state). This actually was "originally" because the story was supposed to have a high school backdrop, but as it became apparant that said backdrop wasn't used at all, it was just an excuse for fanservice. John and Jade are the only characters explicitely said to be 17 and the A1 trolls are ironically the only characters explicitely said to be 16, but this never really comes up at any relevant part.
  • Amazing Technicolor Population: All of the humans are colored the same as their text. This is handwaved by a one-off comment implying that technicolored people aren't that uncommon in the Crconikals world.
  • Awesome but Impractical: Rose, Roxy, Eridan, Nepeta, and Feferi repeatedly charge into battle with their Ichigo-taught skills, even though they are stated to have a vast variety of weapons that are probably more useful than some sword attacks. Namely, guns and later explosions. They eventually drop the Ichigo-based moves around chapter 20.
  • Back from the Dead: Tavros, Vriska, Equius, Gamzee, Eridan, and Feferi are all killed and revived in chapter 12 (yes, both of those happen in the same chapter), and everybody save for Nepeta, Netimp, and Disciple are killed and revived in chapter 18. Fan even bent his Leijon-immortality rule just a little so that "Lagoins" are not counted as it, even though it's been revealed that Leijons actually share an ultimate parent with Lagoins and all other RC-blood castes, which should technically make all those trolls immortal at most and the Lagoins at least.
  • Big Screwed-Up Family: Just about every human and troll member. All of the trolls have been abandoned by their ancestors (if by near-necessity), and were raised by lusii. As for the humans:
    • John's mother was implied on a few occasions to be coming onto him. Notably, the crush was going to be a little more blatant and she would be less stable about it, but Fan thought it would be funnier if the undertones were subtler but still not subtle. He seems to be aware of it, but doesn't care.
    • Jade actually has a fairly healthy relationship with her dad. He was originally going to have a crush on her, but Fan found that too redundant and wanted a male example of a Good Bad Girl, plus an Only Sane Man of the guardians, so he made Jade's Pa fit both bills. Then again, it was implied that he was lax when it came to letting her around guns (like his canon self, Grandpa), but this came to a quick end when the Harley manor was set on fire and both of them nearly died.
    • Rose and Mom are in constant rivalry for eachother. Unlike Roxy and Sis, it's at equal grounds, and it's still going after season four, but in a far more lighthearted manner.
    • Dave and Bro also get along fine, except A: both of them have been abandoned by their parents, and B: they're both Cloud Cuckoolanders, Bro being more open about his ridiculous paranoia.
    • Jane is on good terms with her dad, but unfortunately, he's a complete idiot, so she basically takes care of him despite how he's still in his thirties.
    • Jake's Ma overly babies him.
    • Roxy's sister is probably the most blatant case, as she openly breaks into a speech over-analyizing everything she does and generally shames her all the time. They end up fixing their terms by the end of Sis's debut chapter, though. Like Dave, both of them have been abandonded by their birth parents at some point.
    • Dirk's father belittles him and intentionally goes out of his way to embarass him in public, in the name of "irony." He also stops this after his introductory chapter.
    • And finally, all eight of them have at least one missing parent.
    • The lephrechauns, Homer, Pikmin interns, and Geno aren't clear, but it can be assumed that the Onions are what passes as the intern's family, and things seem to be as normal as Pikmin families can get. Calliope's case isn't clear either, but she seems to lack any sort of guardian figure at all.
  • Boring but Practical:
    • As strife specibi don't exist, the cast is free to use whatever weapons they want whenever, as long as they can get their hands on it. Many, many of them chose guns. The battles aren't as particularly flashy as a sword fight, but they really tend to get the job done, especially towards season six.
    • The way they beat Doc Scratch. After shooting him with a light arrow, they all just... gang up and beat him normally. Then do the same with Lord English, only before he gets a chance to attack. Ruins a climactic moment, yes, but it's also effective.
  • Color-Coded Characters: No two members of the Rainbow Crew share the same colorsnote . This is an Up to Eleven take from canon: Not only do the pre-scratch trolls have different hues that all fall between the hues of the pre-scratch texts, but the ancestors and guardians also have some very mild variance too. And the counterparts to the humans are all, for the most part, totally original colors while the counterparts to the trolls are pale/light versions of the rough hue. (Ardion's is a pale pink distinct from Roxy's, Tavass a light orange, etc. Karkta and Kankri use pale/light chartreuse and a pale chartreuse-green respectively, meaning that normally nobody actually has the regular limeblood color. Originally, aformentioned two counterparts would have.) The only similarities of note is when a character changes their sex, in which it still remains exactly the same. This also applies to Pikmin Fan's works as a whole, with Calliope's Back Story going an even further mile by having the cancer trolls all be associated with lime green. (Which may not be accurate, but since they're humanizations anyway and thus their colors don't hold that much of an impact on the plot, there isn't really anything wrong about it.) Which opens bright red to Strider-only territory. One more detail to note is that the outfits originally weren't going to follow the coloring scheme, but most of them do in the visual works (Even Nepeta, who doesn't have one, has green tints in her claws). Here's just the completely new colors:
    • Jean: Yellow.
    • Jude: Spring greenFan's specific definition .
    • Ross: Similar to Rose's blue-purple, but leaning a lot closer to the blue end.
    • Dove: Chartreuse.
    • Joan: Azure, blue-cyan.
    • Jaky: Rose, pink-red.
    • Rory: Magenta, Jaspersprite's text color.
    • Dian: Vermilion.
  • Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass:
    • All of the Alpha trolls, save Aranea who is more like Crouching Moron, Hidden Exposition Fairy. They may act like flanderizations of their canon counterpart's already flanderized selves, but come to combat and they're suddenly nightmares.
    • All of the first generation (aka guardians and ancestors) aside from the originally-A2 batch. Sure, they may seem goofy, but they can absolutely open up a can of asswhoop on almost anything that comes in their way so long as that thing isn't Doc Scratch (at first), the Troll Empress, or Jaws. The A2 ancestors are inversions in that they start off appearing very noble and strong, but turn out to be
  • Darker and Edgier: Zig-zagged when compared to Hecksing. While they and their issues are treated in a more serious light than Hecksing's, at the same time the in-universe concept behind these guys are a lot brighter. There are far, far more named members in the Crew than in Hecksing, they travel around together a lot and frequently crack jokes to eachother and have a lot of friendly conversations, only two of them die and one of them was an Asshole Victim while the other was blatantly made to feel jarring, and they have an ideallic take on heroism. By contrast, Hecksing has very few members, missions usually exclude at least someone and the talk is usually either business or Carl goofing off, many of them die including Alucard, and there's an overall sense of "this is kind of hopeless" tied with what they do considering Alucard's arc.
  • Did You Just Punch Out Cthulhu?: A few of their fights qualify, seeing what kinds of odd beings they face.
    • Waterwraith/Plasm Wraith and Darkhorse are giant, near-immortal shape shifting ghosts and a strange skeleton-centaur being respectively. Both have high mastery of the dark arts. Both of them are beaten, and in the latter's case, only by the "Alphas" group.
    • Storm down the Trope Namer casually in chapter 18. Yes, they literally simply jump on Cthulhu while escaping an oil rig about to explode and kill him.
  • Everyone Is Bi: Except Jade, who is Johnsexual. Split retcons this out somehow though.
  • Everyone Is Related/Tangled Family Tree:
    • All of the ancestors are siblings, being a group of 24 all born from the Troll Empress... doing things with a Mother Grub. This also means that their descendants are technically cousins, or siblings when it comes to them and their counterparts.
    • Averted with the human families, who have eight very simplistic family trees total. Suppliment material reveals that John and Jane were actually twin sets from Beth and Harl (explaining why their guardians resemble eachother more than themselves, down to colors) and the same applies with Jade and Jake with Dean and Kate. Rose and Roxy were ret-conned to be genetic test-tube experiments using Lily and Vlie's DNA (Blie's parents still treat her and Roxy as sisters for some reason when she's technically her daughter), and Dave and Dirk were likewise created in a dare by Dale and Burt. But all this means is that there's technically four family trees, and since none of the given descendant/guardian pairs treat eachother as family at all (Jake didn't even meet Jade until late into high school), this might as well be back at being four.
  • Expy: A few leftovers from Sweet Jade and Hella John:
    • The guardians are all slightly based on those from SJAHJ, complete with sharing the same base names for the most part. However, there are a few differences. All of the "Prospit" guardians are considerably more perverted, while the "Derse" guardians aren't so locked up in some kind of league with eachother. While Kate seems a bit unstable, she is nowhere near the cold-blooded criminal that Sleepy Dogwoman was, to name a specific example. And finally, their hairstyles resemble a cross between their canon design's and their SJAHJ ancestor designs, which is justified when it comes to Harl at least because his hair is insane.
    • The counterparts may seem like this to the SJAHJ counterparts, but in truth it's a lot more complicated than that. Jane's is the same (extremely moody/unstable and prone to shouting at others), but the rest are different: Jake's did not get that much characterization in SJAHJ, but it was stated by the author that he thought about making her more reserved and having a lot of ellipses in her dialogue. This shows a lot more here. Jade's was supposed to be more like her canon self, to balance out how the "main" Jade was so OOC and jackassish. But since HHC's Jade is a lot kinder, and the idea of putting back in "Rude Jade" was off-putting by the author because that wouldn't make as much sense choice-wise without knowing about the in-joke (and even with), he stuck with making Jade's counterpart a nod to Jadesprite. Then there's John's, who is completely different. Instead of being plain and a bit of an exposition character, Jean's now a lot more hyper and kind of stupid. Add that to how everybody has a counterpart now and...
  • Faux Action Girl: All of the Zodiac's ancestors invoke this on themselves by painting themselves up to be badasses with big, mysterious stories, just to turn out to be very plain, ordinary, and more importantly they're all terrible at combat. It seems to be only them, though: The Alphas (who in canon were genetically identical to them) are all established right from Aranea's words to be far more badass than the rest of the Crew at the time, and the Alpha's ancestors (the other set of ancestors) are probably even tougher. But alas, Handmaid, Disciple, Dolorosa, Redglare, Mindfang, and even Condesce aren't anything special. Then chapters 18 onward rolls along...
  • Full-Frontal Assault: None of them mind fighting in the nude if they have to, even in disturbing situations like Gamzee charging after a Monster of the Week in chapter 20. No Defeat by Modesty there.
  • Gender Bender: All of the second generation can flip their sexes at will after playing the Ballad of Duality. This actually has nothing to do with Stitch flipping their genders prior, but instead a natural effect of the song. Still, for the most part, the originals prefer remaining their original sex, while the counterparts the opposite. Word Of God said that this was only an excuse to have "completed rainbows" of female characters, as even with the counterparts several colors would still be missing.
  • Gender Is No Object: From chapter 15 onwards, the second generation gets the ability to flip their sexes at will. They rarely do this, and whenever they do, it's not for plot reasons. The closest this becomes to being relevant is in chapter 21, where the second gen flips their sexes so that they can double as both Hooters waitresses and Cocks waiters and thus get paid more, but this element could easily be scrapped. It's admitted to serve as an excuse to draw gender-bending concept art of HHC/everyone as female more than anything.
  • Gendered Outfit: Subverted. The counterparts generally have slight changes in their outfits to accomodate them being the opposite sex, but this does not usually (they still have two copies of each variation, so if the spare is available they can just put it on) apply when either of them changes themselves.
  • Generation Xerox: Played straight with the first two generations, as each member of the first either has exactly one descendant or (in Sis and Bro's case) a younger sibling of note, in the troll's case a "patronee" that shares a lot more of one particular ancestor's DNA than the other 23. Averted as the first generation's own trees are rather different from what was revealed, and in the Distant Finale, the third generation differs heavily. (John and Jade have a ton of children running the new Rainbow Crew, while some characters just have three or two or one or even none.)
  • Guest Star Party Member: The first generation hops in and out of adventures, and often goes on their own subplots during seasons five and six. In fact, their B-plot was what was used to make chapter 17 a little longer, padding it out with a flashback. This is justified as the trolls do not want their biological preceedors accompanying them all the time, and the humans less-so. (Although given what has been revealed about the split timeline, they don't seem to mind as much if they were the same age as them.)
  • Hotter and Sexier: Parodied. Compared to Hecksing, which only really had Rip (Seras's outfit is now incredibly tame by Crconikals standards believe it or not), this organization has just about everyone fighting around in revealing outfits, and they have aged-up and "fanservicey" redesigns that get a lot more emphasis than Rip did (which isn't saying much). Ironically, the second generation clearly has less sex than Hecksing does in the events of the fic, something Dave points out/confirms when one of them finally does it in chapter 21.

    Their whole world is revealed at the beginning of Split to get this in some way with Aranea's exposition in the recap: At the very least, limebloods, olivebloods, and jadebloods are all naturally horny and the middle caste tends to get the worst of the three. Compulsary to walk naked, large testosterone/estrogen amounts, and large asses aren't just exclusive to the Leos, but an oliveblood thing in general. She also begins to talk about something regarding purplebloods but gets interrupted by her own counterpart doing the "shake head, neck-cutting hand motion" that she did to him back in chapter 16. This does not really come up again though. (Aside from a Brick Joke when Karkat, Kankri, Bokeah, and Silini both lament their "blood exchange" via Hank's deal, but only in Split. They stay mutants in Hurrcain.note 
  • Last of His Kind: Condesce, Fuchsian, Feferi, Meenah, and the latter's counterparts are the only fuchsiabloods in existance through the majority of Hurrcain. (But this is resolved in the Distant Finale thanks to science/cloning/gene-splicing breakthroughs.) For some reason, while the Troll Empress did have more limebloods and revived their race, the first two were the only direct tyrian-blooded trolls from her, and TE seemed to have no success in getting the genes out in her other ways.
  • Loads and Loads of Characters: You thought Homestuck canon was bad? The Rainbow Crew alone has 96 human and troll members, 1/3rd more than the human and troll players and their scratch counterparts (keep in mind that many of the guardians/ancestors were only covered in brief in canon, and several of the charactes as a whole never grouped with eachother like this). And Housestuck: The Split also has counterparts to the guardians and ancestors, which is more than canon's human-troll count even if you include the dreamselves, bringing up the total to 128. And this is just the Rainbow Crew.
  • Magnetic Hero: They grow in count each season. First the Housestucks and the Zodiacs merge, then the Alphas are thrown in, then come the interns, then the guardians and ancestors officially join in, and then there's the counterparts, for season six the Felt's mooks are back and all Heel-Face Turn on the Crew's side, and season seven tones it down to one in the form of Calliope. Housestuck: The Split tosses in counterparts to the first generation. Unlike some other fanworks by this author, the Crew spends far more time pretty close together, while stories like 496 Reasons and Calliope's Back Story (at least at first for both cases) have them spread out a lot and to pretty different points of the meteor/island.
  • Mandatory Line: There is an occasional chapter that gives the whole casts lines, but this is otherwise averted. In particular, there's 16 (a Strip Truth or Dare game that has to introduce all 32 of the counterparts, but doesn't necessarly give the first generation lines), 17 (which has a point where everyone from the second generation says something — this is so that Fan could take quotes in regards to his "post a quote from a slightly-relevant character" system on Tumblr — and the first generation all says something in their respecive flashbacks too), 18 (giving all members Famous Last Words), 21 (not only are there past selves of the first generation, but for some reason the second generation — both counterparts and originals — are all given lines as well as their respective guardian/ancestor during the "race" portion), and 26 (as the Grand Finale sendoff). All of these are admitted to have scenes just added for the sake of having everyone say something, and this is especially noticable in how the chapter becomes bloated as a result.
  • Mythology Gag:
    • All of the Leo troll's outfits were decided to "retroactively" represent some aspect of Total Zeksmit. The leaves and loincloths were used in challenges before (the same chapter, in fact), and there has been a naked challenge, but nothing relating to Body Paint yet.
    • More obvious are the Sweet Jade and Hella John borrows, like the way the counterparts were used to some extent.
  • Naked People Are Funny: Apart from the costumes, the amount of nudity within them increases as the story goes on. Throughout the first three seasons, it's just a matter of an occasional character's Wardrobe Malfunction. Then the last three seasons have had at least the entire second-generation Crew naked on multiple occasions, at least each chapter from 16-23note , and this is something that's implied to be even worse in Split.
  • Pals with Jesus: They are friends with Ichigo (who works in the Afterlife), Hank Hill (a powerful fairy with light magic), and at least John might have been with the late Geno (a star-spirit guarding a Cherub). Then said Cherub herself, Calliope.
  • The Power of Friendship: Emphasized in chapter 18, where they are able to curb-stomp Jaw's shark army when together and Cthulhu, but when forced into two groups (thanks to the Troll Empress), they are massacred.
  • Sensible Heroes, Skimpy Villains: Inverted. Virtually all of the Rainbow Crew, at least the major "player" members and their alts, wear little to nothing if not outright go around naked. The villains, on the other hand, tend to be fully dressed. Even the Troll Empress, who has a bit in common with the troll members, dresses in a very conservative outfit.
  • Slapstick Knows No Gender: What's rarer about this is that the female members of the Rainbow Crew aren't safe from Toilet Humor either, evident in chapter 19 where they all get bad nausea and diarreah from Bororo poisoning food they were eating. Another specific instance of this is how for chapter 16, Fan actually had a list of who ended up hitting who for losing the Truth or Dare game and specifically wanted all possible combinations of guys, girls, counterpart-guys, and counterpart-girls.
  • Stripperiffic: Starting from season three, all of the second-generation characters start going around in revealing outfits (non-existant in Nepeta's case), and the first-generation always did and get revealed to in season four.
  • Throwing Off the Disability: All characters who had canonical permanent injuries (unless Caliborn is included in this set — he still lacks a leg and tooth) do not have them. This is partly justified in that all injuries came from pretty specific circumstances, namely involving Vriska for about half of them, and with Vriska being a joke it's unlikely she could have caused them.
  • Tiny Guy, Huge Girl: John and Jade, and to a lesser extent Karkat and both Terezi and Nepeta. On average the female members seem taller than the male members (not counting counterparts), with Tavros, Jake, and Equius being the only exceptions of note from the second generation.
  • Took a Level in Badass: Most of the characters actually start out either weak or just mediocre, but by the end of the story, they're all high on the badass scale and even. The reason why the characters who start out badass (Dirk, all A1 trolls save Aranea, all A1 ancestors including Karmagal, etc) usually don't seem to improve by that much is because Fan didn't want the "weaker" members to be constantly Overshadowed by Awesome, and get their chance to be just as cool as the powerful ones instead of leaving to how badass they were. In essence, characters like Meulin, Rufioh, and Meenah would be Crutch Characters if this was a game.
  • Vapor Wear: Many of them invoke this from season three onward. Rose even says to consider her outfit more like overwear with nothing underneath, and not underwear itself or a swimsuit, because it's more tantalizing that way.
  • Walking Swimsuit Scene: Many of their regular outfits can more-or-less be boiled down to swimsuits at the most, but John and Jean probably take the cake as their outfits are standard-grade swimsuits.
  • With Friends Like These...: It's a miracle that the troll sets alone can be friends. Let alone groups like the ancestors (Fuchsian and Condesce were openly hostile towards eachother for starters), the troll groups to eachother, and the trolls and humans. At least in Calliope's Back Story, the threats they faced off against were so powerful and they were so defenseless at first that they pretty much had to learn to band together, and in 496 that was actually the main plot.
  • WTH, Costuming Department?: Invoked. Their outfits are all intended to be incredibly absurd and not meant to be taken as straight fanservice. Except for Roxy, ironically, the only member in the entire crew (aside from her counterpart) who wears something that would be somewhat appropriate in public.



John Egbert

The central lead of the story and one of the more active members of the Rainbow Crew, John appears at first glance to be a bit of an optimist who is always ready to step up at whatever the hell his trials throws at him. It turns out later, however, that about half of this is a ploy. He really also likes faking personalities and toying with Jade's mind to see what reactions he'll get, but he soon discovers what a bad idea that is.

  • A Man Is Not a Virgin: Averted. He's the only male second-generation member of the Crew who is confirmed to have done it with someone. Two people, in fact. But after the rest of the Crew finds out, he's called out in both cases. Though that's more because one of them was the past version of his mother and the other was while most of the Crew was dealing with Rick or Jaws at the time.
  • My Own Grandpa: Narrowly averted. He barely avoids being in a situation where he basically fathers himself. Well, due to time travel, that was technically already averted. Apparantly, this was a reference to a detail in the scrapped "SBIGtermissions," where he would have successfully became his own father in addition to... a lot more confusing things.
  • Obfuscating Stupidity: He reveals in chapter 14 to have been faking being such an "innocent idiot," and that he's a lot more intellegent than let on to. He used to be a Jerk Jock, but later took a potion that increased his brain power at the cost of sacrificing some of his muscle cells as they were converted to brain cells. Because of... Jade or something like that. It's confusing.
  • Parental Incest: The past version of his mother gets a crush on him while not knowing that they're related. Aaaaand after being led to think that she isn't his mother, they sleep together.
  • Would Hit a Girl: At first, he was pretty hesitant to fight Damara during the aicraft carrier battle. But he tries at it anyway (before learning Damara was Good All Along) and later on he fight any female villain he comes across. He also makes a promise to attack Nepeta for liking soccer yet not football, except he forgets about it until he finally re-meets with Rick in person (he does not share classes with Rick or Nepeta) in chapter 23. In the same chapter, Roxy asks him (and Jane) to punch her for trying to induce a love potion on them, and he does so with no hesitation.


Jade Harley

The supposed secondary lead of the fan fic.

  • Demoted to Extra: Later in the story, she gets far less lines and at time doesn't even seem to exist, as Rose and to a lesser extent Nepeta become the primary speakers of the Rainbow Crew from there.
  • Forgot Flanders Could Do That: She spends most of the story preaching to the other members or calling them out for being jerkasses, while the other members are usually quicker to fight. Despite this, she still shows to be a competant fighter, especially when contributing the most to killing a One-Winged Angel Rick.
  • Gentle Giant: She's taller than all the other second-generation members of the Crew and many of the first-gen as well (Kate and her own father being the only two that clearly beat her out, though Highblood, Scalper, Huntress, and Disciple come close) yet one of the nicer ones.
  • Good-Looking Privates: Dresses in a deliberately revealing military-like outfit.
  • An Ice Person: Downplayed. She specializes in ice magic after getting the scroll from Dracula, while John specializes in fire and Equius calls dibs on light.
  • Statuesque Stunner: She's the tallest second-generation character (yet also extremely slender for her height), even narrowly beating her own counterpart for some reason. The exact height varried in promotional drawing (usually she was just a head taller than John, which also applied to Great Pikmin Fan's other works), but the "official height chart" ranks her somewhere around 7'6'' and the comics settle to emulate that.


Rose Lalonde

  • Defrosting Ice Queen: A huge part of her role in chapter 14 was to finally lose the jerkass elements from the first three seasons. By chapter 18, she retires from the leader position and lets Dirk and Dian take over, as the former was in the beginning of the story.
  • The Lancer: Of the Crew from near the end of chapter 18 onwards, being Dirk and Dian's second (third?) in command and still having authority above Karkat.
  • Muggle Born of Mages: Aranea's 8ackstories (basically a short interlude at the end of chapter 25 before the Grand Finale) confirms that Rose's family were experts in magic, and she was born with a distinct lack of magic abilities. It also partly explains her general pissed atittude in the earlier chapters.
  • One Steve Limit: Averted. There's a Rose Lalonde and a Rose Quartz. And the Rose from the Spartan Squad. Lalonde herself has been around both of them (the former thanks to time travel), but never at the same time.
  • Supporting Leader: She's the leader of the Crew prior to season six, but isn't the main character. Dirk, her replacement, is even further from the primary spot.


Dave Strider

  • Beware the Nice Ones: When exposed to a rage virus, he can become pretty terrifying. Since this isn't just an enrager, but something that "taps into a person's pirmal urges," it's implied that deep down Dave is practically a disturbed animal yet manages to hold up a friendly personality.
  • Cloudcuckoolander: Not as extreme as Bro, but he's up there, coming up with weird theories and generally showing a difficulty telling the difference between reality and his mind.
  • Emo Teen: Gains shades of this when under the hate virus.
  • Good Is Dumb: Surprisingly, he's one of the nicer members between his original player group in canon (John, Rose, and even Jade have their Jerkass moments), but he's easily the dumbest.
  • Large Ham
  • Mythology Gag: He basically turns into "Diablo Strider" when infected to the Hate Plauge.
  • Wrong Genre Savvy: His reaction to Karkat's death in chapter 18 was "OH FUCK THIS IS A DOOMED TIMELINE." If this was Game Over, he would have turned out to be right. Turns out that while Karkat's death doesn't stick, it's for a different reason.


Jane Crocker

  • Informed Attractiveness: Played for laughs/in-universe. She's supposed to be a beauty goddess (or god, when she has a male body). Concept art just kind of draws her looking like most of the other characters.
  • Informed Flaw: She's also considered very unimpulsive by John. Her actions and willingess to fight earlier on do not give that vibe. She either loses this completely after John nags her about it (seeing how she challenges Dirk for leadership in season four) or John was judging her way too quick.
  • Naked Apron: Her outfit gimmick.
  • Only Sane Man: Falls closest to this out of the recurring Crew members, and when she's not being sucked into relationship drama. It should be noted that she's the only member of the Rainbow Crew who speaks without any typoes or spelling mistakes, but this becomes harder to notice as the spelling drastically cleans itself up each season.
  • Smart People Play Chess: She's shown playing chess with Rose at the beginning of chapter 20, and beating her. This is foreshadowing the end of Rip's conflict.


Jake English


Roxy Drunkie

  • Aesop Amnesia: Her character development in chapter 11 was supposed to both knock her off her pervy pestistal (Sis's analyzing) and then get her back up into something normal (Jake's encouraging speech). Instead, she eventually walks away from it feeling completely blameless, the only thing she really learned from that whole experience was to have more self-trust, her lack therof was never really apparant at all until that very chapter save for some very minor foreshadowing. Thankfully, she actually snaps out of it in chapter 23, and gets even more development when her counterpart learns even less than she did.
  • Butt Monkey: While not hitting Scorpio tier in this regard, she does come close to Karkat tier. For starters, she's almost always wrong when it comes to everything, constantly belittled by other characters, and called out frequently.
  • Compressed Vice: She's revealed to have some extremely deep hatred to the way Sis over-anaylyzes her and is implied to develop some serious self-loathing as a result of being told that her life is a self-destructive path that leads to nowhere, all in Sis's debut chapter (11). Not only is this mostly ignored later, but she seems as dead-set as possible about breaking the aesop Jake gave her (which amounted to "Everyone's own quirks helped contribute to the Rainbow Crew") by eventually doing more harm than good, down to nearly getting the entire Crew killed in chapter 23.
  • Deconstruction: Of fan works that simplify her into a party-obsessed girl who keeps throwing in sexual references and nudging at pairings. Chapter 23 also deconstructs her character, where an action on her part that she genuinely thinks is the right thing not only ends up backfiring, but the intent behind it pisses off the majority of the organization and Dirk even fires her for... about fifteen seconds.
  • Establishing Character Moment: She's first seen popping in on John while he's on the toilet and showing no care for this despite John clearly being disturbed. This may seem like a one-off gag at first, but it becomes pretty disgusting when coupled with the way she would go on to be portrayed.
  • Forgot Flanders Could Do That: With her idiocy displayed throughout most of the story, it's hard to believe that there actually are several points throughout it all that she displays some of her hacker/scientist self from canon.
  • The Friend Nobody Likes: It's implied that the only reason why she's still part of the Housestucks is because she was John's first friend out of them, in fact the first actual friend he had (they met while they were toddlers). That being said, John himself is probably the one who calls out her pervy/more disturbing habits the most often.
  • Meaningful Name: Her new last name, considering how she is still an alcoholic.
  • Ms. Fanservice: Averted. Her outfit is considerably more modest and plain than many of the other Rainbow Crew members, although this was not by intention. She simply did not expect the other Crew members to go so bold, and thought that a tank top and shorts would be extra-revealing by their standards.
  • 10-Minute Retirement: Well, she gets fired from the Crew instead of quitting, but it's the same principle. Dirk fires her, she talks about working harder and studying, and suddenly Dirk can tell she's honest this time and lets her back on.
  • This Loser Is You: Before Lewis came along (and that was in the story's last leg), she was, and still sort of is, the closest thing the story had to a mockery of fandom perverts.
  • Took a Level in Badass: She finally gets more competant in chapter 24 of Hurrcain. Still not to Nepeta or Equius's levels, but it's still better late than never.


Dirk Coolkid

  • The Comically Serious: He's one of the few Rainbow Crew members who actually remains pretty calm most of the time, which adds to the absurdity of certain situations. There's also the fact that, like all Rainbow Crew members aside from maybe Roxy, his outfit is absolutely ridiculous.
  • Digital Bikini: His outfit invokes this, generating a slightly see-through pair of holographic shorts over a more revealing crotch plate that generates it.
  • Flash Step: What sets him apart from the other "Housestucks" is that he has the power to move very fast.
  • Meaningful Name: You only get one guess on this and no hints. Like with Roxy, his new name is not even remotely subtle at all.
  • Other Me Annoys Me: Averted with Dian, the two having what is probably the most friendly counterpart/original relationship, played straighter with the Auto Responders (yes, plural intended) on account of being The Moles.
  • Supporting Leader: At the very beginning back in chapter 1 before the Housestucks merged with the Zodiacs, and from about the halfway mark of chapter 18 where Rose and Ross both resign and him and Dian both take up new leadership. In between those points, Rose (and later Ross) was/were the leaders.



Aradia Megido


Tavros Nitram

  • Crash-Into Hello: The Zodiacs first meet the Rainbow Crew when Rose falls into his arms.
  • A Day in the Limelight: Chapter 23 of Hurrcain has a subplot of a decent-length focused on him. Mainly also concerning Latula.
  • Out of Focus: As with Feferi, it takes a while before that much development with this guy really settles in.
  • Sickening Sweethearts: Most of the Rainbow Crew turns into this for eachother, but he and Latula stick out after the end of chapter 23. What's also notable is that this seems to be one of the few pairings that the story is trying to portray honestly.


Sollux Captor

  • Wrong Genre Savvy: In chapter 12, he insists up and down that this is a story is one more focused on the trolls who survived Act 5 in canon. That it's really about Karkat and the patron buddies, while everyone who wasn't him, Kanaya, or Terezi will probably get killed. Yeah... he's pretty far off from the truth, and thankfully realizes this on the same chapter where these traits show up.


Karkat Vantas

  • All Your Powers Combined: The hemoshield he created, to simplify it, allows him to use all the powers of the other trolls in the Rainbow Crew at the "hidden" fullest extent.
  • Demoted to Extra: Both from canon-to-fan fic and within the events of the fan fic itself. While he constantly holds a high rank about the Rainbow Crew, he gets less and less lines until he's pracically irrelevant.
  • Good Counterpart: He becomes this to the Troll Empress in chapter 19, evident by their fighting styles and when they fight eachother. Fittingly, the Troll Empress is associated with a rainbow, and at first he was the only member of the Crew to use gray as his theme color.
  • Goofy Print Underwear: His default outfit from season three onwards is a pair of boxers with quadrant symbols on them.
  • Hand or Object Underwear: He uses his shield to cover himself after everyone's naked at the end of chapter 18. He says that it also calls "dibs" on the shield in an obvious, but disgusting, way.
  • Mid-Season Upgrade: The hemoshield in season five, which allows him to tap into the hidden powers of the A2 trolls who donated their blood to craft it. It's not exclusively his, anda subplot in chapter 19 is that the rest of the Crew thinks that his lack of wanting to be a hero means that the shield should go to someone else, but he does like it a lot.
  • Only Sane Man: In a way distinct from Jane. While Jane remains calm and speaks a lot clearer than other characters, he seems to be one of the few members of the Crew who actually realizes what kind of a fucked up story he's in, and reacts in shock when things stop making sense. (While Jane rolls around with a lot of the nonsense.)


Nepeta Leijon

  • Almighty Janitor: As revealed near the end of chapter 23, her rank in the Rainbow Crew is fairly low. She's just barely above Vriska's Janitor level (though Vriska has never been seen doing any actual cleanup, and when the Crew does commuinity service they apparantly all do it together). She averts this by being promoted to the new lancer shortly after Dirk discovers just what weird crap she's been keeping track of.
  • Ambiguously Evil: She's revealed near the end of chapter 21 to hold a journal that documents several Artifacts of Doom, how to use several incredibly dangerous weapons that could annihalate cities, and discusses very shady figures up to and including potential Bigger Bad Rip. She also apparantly weaponized a Hate Plague in the past, though what crowd she used it on has not been said yet.
  • Ascended Extra: Slowly but cerainly gets more important as the fan fic goes on, having just a small number of lines in season one to being the "designated door knocker" in season two to taking a lot of action in season four to being an extremely key player in several events in season six.
  • Ass Kicks You: Her butt is an actual, pretty lethal weapon. She kills Gamzee with it and makes his head explode in chapter 12. In chapter 19, one of two random haters (who are gonna hate) try to kick her there in frustration, just to get an Agony of the Feet and think that his bones might have been broken. He even asks if her butt is made of metal. Supposedly this is explained by her having a really large amount of estrogen. This also has nothing to do with the Simpsons-code.
  • Berserk Button: Also note that unlike most examples of the trope she isn't as bothered by people attacking her family or friends as the below:
    • Based on her reaction to Roxy in chapter 23, attempting to use love potions is one. But she seems to have no problem with outright re-writing someone else's brain, based on her ramblings in Split once Vriska "retreats to nature."
    • Body shaming to anyone is a pretty big one. When Eridan, Meenah, and John made fun of Hank Hill of all people choosing to wear nothing but leaves despite his appearance, and she exploded into a loud rant and began flipping various objects to the ceiling, including a whole car. And when Scratch teleported in, she yelled at him to shut up even though he technically didn't do anything wrong in that moment.
  • Beware the Silly Ones: She begins the story as just another Zodiac, who is also used to lampshade how useless she is. (Her highlight is knocking on doors, which other people occasionally took from her.) Even after taking Ichigo's lessons, she still doesn't do much independantly. Then season four ensues and she's suddenly becoming bold and hijacking Cartman's tank.
  • Cats Are Mean: Or at least secretly massive pricks. She acts like a jerk to Vriska a lot, in a teasingly way. This is supposed to be after they've hooked up.
  • Cats Hate Water: Her only known weakness is a complete inability to swim. Supposedly this is a nod to Kato from Green Hornet.
  • Flanderization: Her Ambiguously Evil traits and low sanity get worse as this goes on. Split tones it down a bit, then starts toning it back up until she's a borderline Yandere.
  • Genre Savvy: She's even more aware of her increased role in the story than her SJAHJ counterpart, and is milking it for all it's worth.
  • Immortality: At first it seems coincidental that she evades death in chapters 12 and 18, but it turns out that she actually cannot die anyway, as even if she was placed in a lethal situation she would still be able to regrow and heal back completely even out of nothing. This is because of the events in a different story, 496 Reasons Why Multidating is More Complicated than it Seems, where she has a code keeping her alive until Simpsons ends in Real Life. (Though this code is revealed to have an increasing number of loopholes.)
  • Ms. Fanservice: In-universe at least, everyone seems to find either her or how she goes around completely butt-naked to be very attractive, given how when she made a debut during the "donation" portion in chapter 9 (where Rose takes advantage of Sex Sells and knows that citizens will give them more money just because they like the costumes) the Crew was absolutely flooded with money at that point. Jane probably comes in second, considering how her appearance resulted in her getting a bag of solid gold bricks thrown on. Jane also usually is the Ms. Fanservice parody in the other AUs. The comic version parodies this even more, she and Jane also have considerably smaller censor bars than almost anyone else who isn't part of the 360, as well as the only characters to have each individual boob censored instead of a black bar across both of them.
  • Noodle Incident: The invisible text written in Rip's entry of her journal, revealed in chapter 23, imply that she attempted to make a deal with her. Currently unelaborated on, the consequence to said deal was enough to make her write a giant, bold, all-caps message to herself to never make a deal with her.
  • Off the Rails: When the trolls are dying in a manner that matches up with their canon deaths, she turns the tables and ends up killing Gamzee when she was "supposed" to die. But of course, Pip revives everyone anyway, so it doesn't matter.
  • Older Than They Look: She is at the very least about thirteen years older than she was for the first twenty-four and a half chapters of the fan fic (being Plank, who was friends with Jonny since he was a toddler in Ed, Edd n Eddy canon, which is what the timeline of EDventure obeyed). Though since she spent that time in a new body, and once she came back she was chronologically synched to when she left, and that her "original" body hasn't aged, she appears just along the lines of the rest of them.
  • Remember the New Guy: When things are attempted to be charted chronologically. She, Meulin, and Equius are the only confirmed trolls of either group to have been in the same high school as the Housestucks (and Damara is the only one that wasn't — Scratch forced her into one out of town), and she and John even interacted in a flashback where they argue a little over Rick. Despite this, none of the Housestucks appear to recognize her in chapter 1, and it takes John to remember the conversation before he finishes his "The next time I see you, I'll hit you," despite the fact that this wasjust two months before they found the Zodiacs and they've been working together in the Rainbow Crew for about four more months.
  • Shameless Fanservice Girl: Out-does the rest of the Rainbow Crew (aside from her own counterpart) by actually going completely naked from the season three outfit change onwards. And while the rest of the crew's being nude was mostly during wardrobe malfunctions and undressing from poor communication, she does this constantly.

    For some reason, it takes until chapter 18 (when she's forced into a military uniform in the beginning) before this is given a reason: She only likes wearing baggy clothes or nothing. Because of her irregularly shaped... "hips," most bottoms painfully ride up her, and she hates tops in general. Both of these apply to her counterpart. She doesn't even own any swimsuits, pajamas, or underwear.
  • Sticks to the Back: Her Ichigo Blade. Unlike Rose, Roxy, Feferi, or Eridan, whose swords are each finally stated in chapter 21 to have something in their outfits to stick to or be slid into, John notes that her sword "just kind of hangs on there." In the next chapter, she randomly choses then to answer that she's just really good at shifting herself around and using her butt as a balance beam to keep it up, and it's not actually sticking to her in any way.
  • Stripperiffic: Noted here specifically because her "outfit" is to go completely naked, apart from the claws and her Ichigo Blade suspiciously sticking her her back. And even then, those are only some times. The blade is also retired after chapter 22. Without her, the question as to which character exposes the most would be a lot tougher to answer.
  • Troll: She's the only character so far who has said something negative about Futurama and not as part of an idea for a mission (as Flanders once did), which is generally considered a no-no in at least the Crconikals universe. She did this just to provoke Vriska. How she managed to not get crucified by the other characters with them for insulting the show is beyond anyone's guess.
  • Walking Spoiler: It starts out with how she's a lot more important than she initially appears to be, and then it snowballs from there.
  • Who Wants to Live Forever?: Chapter 18 implies that she hates her immortality. Having just thought that she outlived the entire rest of the Rainbow Crew save for her relatives (Netimp and Disciple), and this would not mark the first time she outlived a group of friends.


Kanaya Maryam

  • Clothing Damage: Strangely, her outfit invokes this. It resembles a collection of torn up dresses intentionally-poorly stitched together. Oddly, she's one of the few members of the Rainbow Crew that doesn't go commando under a skirt.
  • Decoy Protagonist: Despite being the first character introduced and having a B-plot set up right away (avenging Edward's death), it quickly becomes clear that this is really more of John and Jade's story than her's.
  • Mid-Season Upgrade: Becomes a rainbow drinker in chapter 12, but as with the other jadebloods she loses this in the oil rig war.
  • Perfectly Cromulent Word: Her Verbal Tic in this verse is to add very unnecessary suffixes to certain words, just to add length and complexity. This was toned down pretty early on.


Terezi Pyrope

  • Forgot Flanders Could Do That: Her love for eating chalk is mentioned in chapter 19. Then never really mentioned again.
  • Walking Shirtless Scene: Female example. Apparantly, Terezi specifically is said by Fan to be a parody of "fanart that randomly makes the given characters naked," and not more obvious-seeming examples like Nepeta.


Vriska Serket

  • Brick Joke:
    • In chapter 9, she introduces her new outfit by flying in on a hang-glider. The story says that the hang-glider is not said new outfit. In the final season, not only does the hang-glider return, but she also "increases its flighting abilities" by wearing it as an outfit.
    • She kills Tavros in chapter 12, then seems to be Easily Forgiven. Come later in chapter 21, Pavlig finds out that in the future Vriska will kill his descendant, and then finally "makes up for it" by tossing her into a wall.
  • Butt Monkey: She's frequently ignored by the Crew, and during the points where there isn't a chance of death, she's often subjected to slapstick.
  • Easily Forgiven: She got away with killing Tavros in chapter 12 for a few days. But the general consensus in-universe was that Terezi's stabbing her through the back was enough to make up for it. Tavros himself easily forgives her for some reason, despite being the murder victim.
  • Running Gag: She's punched into some sort of wall three times, each in the latter half of season three: First by Pavlig, then by Censorbot, and finally by Rick.


Equius Zahhak


Gamzee Makara


Eridan Ampora


Feferi Piexes

  • Beware the Nice Ones: She tries so hard to give this image, but being Overshadowed by Awesome frequently keeps that from happening. She does give an unexpected kill of Stalfos though.
  • Boring but Practical: As bits are revealed about her in chapters 21-23, and with a few details before hand, she greatly embodies this. Her fighting style amounts to "Just go for the weak point in calculated, sophisticated attacks," she handles out several economic deals in more mundane fashions than Rose or Dirk or the like, and even her Rainbow Crew uniform is simily her original outfit minus the skirt. (As it's actually a swimsuit.)
  • Out of Focus: Out of the whole 2nd-generation Rainbow Crew (yes, even compared to the Alphas, but not the counterparts), she probably gets the least amount of screentime, and most of it is tied to Eridan. Season six tries to correct this, particularly her little mission against Jaws in chapter 20 along with Kanaya and Tavros, and her increased role in the following three chapters and her subplot with her own counterpart trying to get the Crew to not trust her anymore.
  • Walking Swimsuit Scene: Noted here because she was technically this from the beginning: Her pre-chapter 9 outfit is just a swimsuit witha skirt over it. After chapter 9, all that changes is that she loses the skirt.



Damara Medigo

  • Anti-Villain: As with the leprechauns, she's not an actual member of the Felt so much as someone who was forced into servitude by Doc Scratch. For three years in her case. Though it's not exactly clear what's forcing her to stay through all that time, since Scratch is never seen trying to capture someone again and even when he has someone caught he doesn't enslave any of them. Until Split: She stayed in the apartment voluntarly (she had the physical ability to leave whenever she wanted and walk over Scratch, even if he would oppose it) just because Scratch burned her hive down, and the only reason why she tagged with the Crew is because she thought that their treehouse/another member's house would make for good sleeping arangements.
  • Magic Skirt: Averted with her default outfit in the comic (which necessitates a Censor Bar, implying that she went commando), and downright inverted with her Rainbow Crew uniform, which is a skirt that begins and ends above the waist and leaves a thong exposed.
  • Shout-Out: Her outfit is pretty much a vermilion-and-black palette swap of Brenda's.
  • Suddenly Voiced: Downplayed. She speaks full, conherant, English sentences in HHC. This is explained by Scratch teaching her the language, although she seems to know more about it than he does.


Rufioh Martin

  • Blow You Away: Sort of. While he lacks any of his possible canonical Rouge of Breath powers, he can make small tornados when he spins around.
  • Everything's Better with Spinning: Utilizes spin attacks a lot. Especially with Damara.


Mituna Castor

  • Super Drowning Skills: He doesn't actually drown despite being in the water for a while (and doesn't even suffer from any irreversable problems), but he does apparantly sink like a rock. Most of the Rainbow Crew does.


Kankri Viitas

  • Hypocritical Humor: In chapter 19, just before Latula quickly snaps him out of it, he insults the Crew from trying to ruin Alternian culture by basically saving Gamzee's life. He was actually about to participate in said fight himself, and holds his gun behind his back while saying this.


Meulin Lagoin

  • Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: She and her counterpart save everyone's lives in chapter 18. They were so devoted to bringing others back from the dead, no matter how slim the chance was, that they went around the entire oil rig and collected all the corpses they could find. Which thankfully turned out to be all of them. If not for that move, them, John, Nepeta, Netimp, and Disciple would be the only Crew members alive (aside from the interns and maybe the leprechauns, and John himself shortly died from exhaust later, so his survival isn't certain).
  • Number of the Beast: As of the Split, she's been getting associated with the number in some ways. Notably, her debut chapter in the original was chapter 6, but this was a coincidence at first.
  • Off Model: A case of Ascended Off Model: Though she canonically does not have six-fingered hands, herself in HHC does. As with all other Great Pikmin Fan fanworks except for possibly 496 Reasons (there's a Shrug of God on that and all visual depictions of her in that so far don't show her hands to match this shrug). Her associated symbol, when not the Leo sign, is a sextet of claws.
  • Red Right Hand: Averted. She has polydactly in both hands (specifically, just one extra finger each), but isn't really sinister at all.


Porrim Misyam

  • The Ditz: She starts out pretty dumb, yet one trip at the library smartens her up fairly quickly.
  • Ms. Fanservice: Only for season two. Every season after, and the entire Crew pretty much replaces/adds to her role.


Latula Pyliop

  • Shout-Out: Her outfit is a cosplay of Samus Aran while in the Zero Suit. She and Damara are notably the only two members of the Rainbow Crew whose outfits are direct and almost unmistakable references to another specific character, and even Damara's could be eliminated on the basis of "school girl meets generic fanservice parody."


Aranea Slikre

  • Ascended Extra: Actually, she has a bit of a relevancy rollercoaster. While the comparason to her canon self isn't quite clear she goes on a rollercoaster in HHC. In season two, she's clearly less important to the storyline than Damara, and possibly some of the other "Alphas" at first, but does help out the Rainbow Crew a little by kick-starting the plot of that season. Then by season four, she's all but useless. However, come Aranea's 8ackstories and she gets a whole day in the limelight hosting four different stories, and she's also the consistent recapper.
  • Rage Quit: Comes very close to quitting the story. As her recaps go on, she noticably gets more and more snippy with the storyline until flat-out stopping in the recap of season six and threatening to leave because of how stupid the plot is. Her ancestor manages to calm her down and she finishes the second half of the recap.
  • Too Much Information: In Split, she's Flanderized to this, repeatedly giving away some details that she honestly shouldn't, and talking about the average sex lives of the limeblood, oliveblood, jadeblood, and attemptedly the purpleblood castes (which, as you can image, greatly embarasses at least Karkta, Kiriki, Nepeta, Meulin, Kanaya, Porrim, and all their alternate selves that still share blood colors). Though this could still be seen in her recap of season three back in Housestuck where she's about to talk about troll anatomy before Meenah tricks her into skipping over it.
  • Unusually Uninteresting Sight: Almost nobody seems to find it odd that she's telling the events of the story to seemingly thin air. Damara does ask what she's talking about in the recap in chapter 13, and Meenah does get her to skip over troll biology by tricking her into thinking she already covered that in the recap, but outside of that no-one cares that she's treating their lives as a story and knows things that she wasn't possibly present to witness.
  • Who Writes This Crap?!: Surprisingly, she is the only character so far who outright criticized any Crconikals installment from within it. By the final recap, she stops explaining what just happened and instead goes on a huge rant about the story's Fridge Logic until being calmed down and continuing it.


Horuss Hazzak


Kurloz Makbro

  • Painting the Medium: When doing his spooky shouting thing, his text is in all caps and bolded, and even the quote marks are written in bold. The story itself lampshades this. His counterpart has a similar effect, only her words are written in all lower case (even where capitalization should be applied to), making her, at times, one of the few characters who keeps a consistent "quirk" other than all caps shouting.
  • The Quiet One: As he does not have a sewed mouth, he can talk, but he tends to remain silent and write things down. He has no problems outright talking normally when with the Waterwraith.
  • Strange Minds Think Alike: Despite the two of them having never met before this point, he and Gamzee are somehow able to perfectly understand their messages to eachother. Messages that just consist of stuff like "Faygo miracles motherfucker."


Cronus Aporia

  • Censor Steam: He invokes this. His RC outfit is to just tie two smoke machines to himself and have them puff out enough smoke so that it barely doesn't count as indecent exposure. But it's irrelevant anyway seeing as that law is highly implied to just not really be enforced.
  • Drives Like Crazy: He spends the first half of the story being a very piss-poor driver. He gets better by chapter 19 though.
  • Red Herring: A Running Gag through season two is that his appearance is inexplicably built up. Apart from being the last one on the list, characters would mention him often, and he spreaded the (true) rumor that the Rainbow Crew is willing to help out a particular troll before adding them into the group. When they finally make it to him, he just turns out to be an ordinary member that Drives Like Crazy.


Meenah Peixez

  • Badass Normal: She successfuly makes a dungeon that stumps the then-Rainbow Crew, and duels a powerful vampire (Porrim, at the time) in a battle that ends in a draw. This and her only abilities are breathing underwater and natural long life, neither of which she uses in combat at all.
  • Godiva Hair: Parodied: Her "outfit" from chapter 9 onwards is just her hair tied into a "sling bikini" resembling her ancestor's.

First Generation (Guardians and Ancestors)

    The First Generation in General 

The First Generation

  • Generation Xerox: When it comes to the "Housestucks" at least, their respective guardians have held some remarkable similarities to the Rainbow Crew as a whole.


Elizabeth "Beth" "Betty" Egbert

  • Alliterative Name: When not shortened.
  • Berserk Button: She understandably becomes furious (and for the only time in the story) when Carl sexually harasses her, causing his face to end on the recieving end of her mallet.
  • Butt Monkey: On the recieving end of a lot of slapstick in chapter 21, or rather her past self was.
  • Canon Welding: Sort of. Though this does not apply to any other AU, she's confirmed to be this world's version of Beth from Total Drama, with a serious appearance change from her canonical self to... looking a little more like Jane/John sometime after turning thirteen. John's biological father is likewise and also-blue Harold. (Who was described as "some Napoleon Dynamite-looking guy" by Beth.)
  • Drop the Hammer: As a tribute to John's canon incarnation (though himself here never uses hammers), she weilds an enormous mallet as her Weapon of Choice.
  • Parental Incest: She has some blatant feelings for her own son. Apparantly he doesn't mind this so much, no matter how much she obviously flirts with him (including toying around when finding him playing a variation of Spin the Bottle, making it point to herself and telling him to kiss her). As revealed in chapter 21, this stemmed from her past self getting close with him yet not being told that they were related until the last few hours before they left.


Dean Harley



Dale Strider


  • Amazingly Embarrassing Parents: Embarasses Jane with his own idiocy.
  • Cloudcuckoolander: The guy seems to be obsessed with trying to get into movie parts, repeatedly "reinacting" them and often getting himself hurt in the process.
  • One of the Kids: While never seen tagging along with actual children, he's easily one of the most childish characters in the story who isn't a villain, and in fact Jane has to act as a guiding figure to him sometimes. Which raises the question as to how Jane's so able to function while he's a complete idiot.
  • Real Men Wear Pink: His default outfit can be described as a harlequin skirt.
  • Stuff Blowing Up: Bombs are his weapon, especially dynamite. He notably shares this weapon with Rick, but this was confirmed to be a coincidence as Fan wasn't thinking of Harl when he decided his weapon.


Katherine "Kate" "Kath" English

  • Amazingly Embarrassing Parents: As with all of the B2's parents on their first appearance, she humiliates Jake by overly babying him.
  • Cute and Psycho: Especially whenever something happens to her Jake.
  • Everyone Is Related: She is HEAVILY implied to be related to Rip Van Winkle in some way. Jake too, on account of being her sonEvidence .
  • Gag Boobs: Worst of the whole cast, with them being about as tall as her body, and extremely wide. This was apparantly because her body had a funny reaction to no longer feeding Jake a long time ago, an exaggeration of something similar from an episode of Family Guy.
  • Genius Ditz: Do not be fooled by her seeming obliviousness. She does know a lot about technology, weapons, espionage, and even torture.
  • Mama Bear: Literally turns red and gains enough strength to charge through a lake of poison water to save her son when he's kidnapped by Hydra.
  • Too Kinky to Torture: Doubly bad as she also alters between a sadist and a masochist depending on what the mood strikes, so one moment she doesn't care who hits her, then the next she casually breaks free and beats the hell out of them.
  • Yandere: She turns into this to her affections over time, if downplayed. By the time most people (re: the other seven guardians, at least three of them but possibly all seven) realize this, they decide that the relationship is worth it.


Violet "Vlie" Drunkie


Burton "Burt" Coolkid

Dirk's rather stoic father, and the HHC counterpart to post-scratch Dave/Dirk's Bro. A lot of what he does is in the shadows, but most of it is claimed to be "ironic."

  • Amazingly Embarrassing Parents: Deliberately tries to screw with Dirk on most oppertunities in the name of "irony." Unlike the other B2 guardians, he clearly (Vlie is a lot more ambiguous) does this on purpose.



  • Meaningful Name: One of the possible translations of "bull" in Swedish that cropped up in Google Translate.


  • Meaningful Name: Uzbek for "silver," which is known for being given as second-place.


  • Meaningful Name: Greek for "Moon," and the moon is associated exclusively with the cancer sign.
  • Non-Indicative Name: Neither Signless nor Sufferer apply to him in this world. Troll Empress gave both of her mutant blood descendants the cancer sign from the get-go, and he never actually suffered from anything. Like most of the Zodiac's ancestors, his story is a complete lie.


  • Ascended Extra: She more-or-less suddenly jumps up to the "main ancestors" in the middle of chapter 17. According to Fan, he wanted someone to tell Daisy what the ancestors were doing before/while they were called to help gen 2 during the Great Typo Cleanup (a major edit to this and some other SBIG installments before season six came out), but didn't want Mindfang or Condesce, so he picked Disciple. It stuck. He even edited up what was written of chapters 18 and 19 prior to give her slightly more of a role.
  • Barbie Doll Anatomy: She is admitted to be drawn like this in concept art, as the "paint" is openly said to not really do a good job at covering her at all, and she has nothing underneath, but wanted it to look more like a fanservice costume and less like she's nude with blotches of paint everywhere. Dolorosa and Scalper have similar situations.
  • Meaningful Name: Finnish for "Sun," (as Leijon is Finnish for lion) minus the "O" at the end, and the sun is associated exclusively with the leo sign. It's also thematically appropriate with Signless, as they both share a tight bond in HHC at least.


  • Gender-Blender Name/Ironic Name: Heavy corruption on the Thai word for "father." On the slightly more meaningful side, it sounds a little like "fixed-in," as in "fixed," which might be a cruel twist on the virgo sign having "virgin" as a meaning.


  • Meaningful Name: Corruption of the Lao word for "dragon," just minus an "N."


  • Unfortunate Names: According to Word Of God, the result turned up for putting "verbose" into Google translate for Hungarian, and then corrupting that.



  • Meaningful Name: Apparantly a heavy corruption/merge/flip-around of "Sasuke," "Itachi," and "Madara," or at least uses those names as an inspiration. Pikmin Fan has occasionally acused Makaras of being sort of like "the Uchihas of Homestuck," (despite many claiming Serkets fall under that more) and used this as a bit of a light Take That.


  • Meaningful Name: Switch-around and removal of letters from "Schutter," Dutch for "shooter." Has the bonus of sounding and looking a lot like "musket," but this was accidental.


  • Unfortunate Names: It's a corruption of "Kempine," Lithuanian for a certain sea-creature. That creature? Sponges. Her name is basically "sponge."



  • Meaningful Name: Sounds like "Minotaur," a mythical half-bull creature. And it was based on heavily corrupting "miner," as in "Minecraft," a game with creativity elements. Being the one who comes up with games like Fiduspawn, he's one of the more creative ancestors.



  • Meaningful Name: Averted. His name was just made up on the fly and doesn't appear to be meaningful, probably like Kurloz.
  • Nice Guy: Probably one of the nicer characters in the story, if unaware of how annoying his megaphone is.
  • Used to Be a Sweet Kid: Averted. As a teenager and adult, he's one of the nicer first-gen members of the Rainbow Crew, but pre-puberty his hostility was somewhere between Karkat and Caliborn. This even dates to his birth, as seen in the comic where as a grub he's violently biting the Troll Empress.


  • Meaningful Name: Sounds a bit like "Eve," which is kind of where the Modesty Leaf outfit ultimately originated from, and sounds ("Eve-en-tee") a bit like "eventually," slightly fitting with Nepeta's running gag in these of having some plan that comes together eventually and usually spans the story.


  • Genderblender Name: She uses "man" in her title, when she's really female. This apparantly had something to do with a mistranslation.
  • Meaningful Name: A heavy corruption of "PHD." You know, doctorate.
  • Team Medic: Well, duh. It's in her title.


Despite the "8," she's actually Latula's ancestor.

  • Meaningful Name: Shortening of "Accipitrinae," a sub-type of hawk. As in, Tony Hawk. They're both skateboarders.


  • Meaningful Name: Corruption of "lotus," often used as a symbol of karma in Asian traditions.


  • Meaningful Name: Latin for "iron." Although it would be more fitting to Signless or Vocalist, it slightly works since Gearbox works with a lot of metal and mechanics.



  • Camp Straight: Camp Bi but it's the same princible. He's into women, and he's also a flashy dancer with roses everywhere. The comic even gives him vague feminine-looking moves and a pole dance.
  • Meaningful Name: Switch-around of the Greek word for "petal."



    Counterparts in General 

A series of copies of the second generation, created through a complicated process in chapter 15. They are meant to be "inner" or "repressed" variations of that person, generally like the original only with a slightly lower sense of guard, or with less focus.

Counterparts of the first generation are an increasingly likely possibility.

  • Expy: These are apparantly based loosely off of the dreamselves from Homestuck canon in some of the human's cases. Jade's... becomes Jadesprite and is implied to have poorer thinking skills, so Jude is worse at planning and cries a lot. Dirk has full control over his dreamself, so Dian is highly cooperative with him and they are close to being the same character (close, but not exactly, as chapter 22 highlights). Roxy's sleepwalked, interpreted to Rory just having a generally "loose" personality.
  • Mirror Self: Subverted. They are not quite opposites to the given character (though Karkta, Joan, and Netimp come pretty close), but they're not really just plain ol' Alternate Selves either.
  • Literal Split Personality: While there is no real splitting involved, these guys basically change around a few traits of the originals, mostly by amplifying parts that lied dormant in them, and are alternate selves from that.
  • Literally Born Yesterday: Though they are mentally as old as their originals, because in a way they shared their minds with them (not to the point where the traits "representing" them in the originals are gone though, it works similar to bringing fictional characters to life in SJAHJ where it simply takes the "data" and makes magic based on that).
  • Opposite-Sex Clone: Subverted. They begin life as this, but them and the originals are allowed to change their sex at command, and whatever one is does not effect the counterpart.
  • Other Me Annoys Me: Very few members of the Rainbow Crew can completely tollerate their own counterparts.


John's counterpart, and considerably more energetic tham him.

  • The Everyman: Oddly, plays this straighter than any member of the Crew despite not being made/introduced until over halfway through the initial story. She's actually rather one-note and doesn't have that much development or quirks compared to the other counterparts, and is simply "John but as an actual dumbass."


Jade's counterpart, and based on Jadesprite. He is highly saddened by almost everything, and will cry at the slightest problem.

  • Expy: Unlike Jude from Sweet Jade and Hella John (as Jude was eventually decided to be "closer to canon Jade," which is redundant here as Jade is shaped to be a lot more in character by the time he comes into play), he's a clear take on Jadesprite. Only without the sprite powers, without the First Guardian abilities, without the potential to become God Tier Jade, and without the dog parts. And as a guy most of the time.
  • Flanderization: At least Jadesprite kind of had reasons to be sad at everything. He just explodes at the slightest downfall.


Rose's counterpart, who likes to think of himself as being very intellegent and looking into the tiniest cracks of information even Rose wouldn't, but he's really just kind of naive under it all.

  • Troll: To Rose. Even worse seeing that they both share leadership positions for some reason, allowing him to equally rule over the Crew.


Dave's incredibly stoic, yet very snarky, counterpart.

  • The Stoic: As what is now considered a retroactive Trolling Creator move, she's the opposite of a Davesprite expy in that she's even less outwardly emotional than Dave is. Even compared to the canon Dave.


Jane's counterpart. He has a very short temper.

  • Anime Hair: His hair is supposedly very wild, a bit like his Sweet Jade and Hella John incarnation.
  • Hair-Trigger Temper: The slightest, most random things will piss him off. And mostly anything stupid being said. Fittingly, on occasion his hair has an "upside-down gun" shape to it in some panels of the comic version. In other words... he gets a literal hair trigger.
  • Large Ham: When pissed.
  • Mood-Swinger: He flips around between being... slightly calm and collective to flipping out and shouting at everyone and everything.
  • Visual Pun: In the comics, his hair is sometimes depicted as resembling a gun, fitting his Hair-Trigger Temper.


Jake's shyer counterpart.

  • Development Gag: invokedShe is mis-named as "Jaka" by John in chapter 18, a nod to both her original name in Sweet Jade and Hella John as well as how it was going to be her name here too, before Fan thought that it would be too nonsensical to have Jake's counterpart continually switch names story-by-story depending on its seriousness, and to just peel the band-aid here and permanently switch the name. When she corrects John, she adds in "Let's not get into that."
  • Shrinking Violet: In contrast to Jake himself, who is slowly starting to live up to his original fandom reputation as a Memetic Badass. Eventually in 496 Reasons, the roles are flipped, with Jake slowly becoming a bit more reserved while his dreamself is basically awesome from beginning to end.


Roxy's counterpart, who started off being even more perverted than this incarnation of her was before snapping out of it at an alarming rate.


Dirk's counterpart. Based loosely on how Dirk is able to control his dream and real selves, Dian is very cooperative and willing to work alongside Dirk even in the tightest opperations.


Going by the "Zodaics:"
  • Ardion, Aradia's counterpart.
  • Tavass, Tavros's counterpart.
  • Sliiou, Sollux's counterpart.
  • Karkta, Karkat's counterpart.
  • Netimp, Nepeta's counterpart.
  • Kanayo, Kanaya's counterpart.
  • Tezlom, Terezi's counterpart.
  • Virkso, Vriska's counterpart.
  • Equisa, Equius's counterpart.
  • Gamsis, Gamzee's counterpart.
  • Erdini, Eridan's counterpart.
  • Fefian, Feferi's counterpart.

And here's the "Alphas:"
  • Domoni, Damara's counterpart.
  • Rufiye, Rufioh's counterpart.
  • Mitchl, Mituna's counterpart.
  • Kiriki, Kankri's counterpart.
  • Yeulin, Meulin's counterpart.
  • Porsiv, Porrim's counterpart.
  • Latlin, Latula's counterpart.
  • Aramin, Aranea's counterpart.
  • Haerus, Horuss's counterpart.
  • Kursis, Kurloz's counterpart.
  • Cromie, Cronus's counterpart.
  • Mannah, Meenah's counterpart.

All twenty-four of them were created at the same time as eachother and the human's counterparts as part of Hank both helping the Crew escape a trap set up and a more long-term idea of helping them grow via having to deal with a variation of themselves that, in most cases, the respective original cannot stand. Most of them are fairly one-note characters even by the canonical pre-scratch troll's standards, but this by no means makes all of them neglegible. Especially in Housestuck: The Split.

And here are the tropes proper:
  • Ascended Extra: Netimp suddenly becomes far more important and gets more lines in chapters 19 and 23, to the extent that he's almost at regular-member levels. He is also clearly the troll counterpart, if not counterpart in general, of the most note.
  • Brutal Honesty: The default speak for most of them, especially Netimp.
  • Butt Monkey:
    • Virkso and Aramin. Sealed with their (temporary) deaths in chapter 18, where Aramin is one of the first casualties, and Virkso is killed after the narrator did a tally of whoever is still alive and found that he ended up on the list, so he quickly said that Jaws shot him for not paying attention.
    • Most of Tavass's existance is to joke at the expense of her gag boobs and butt. Although she doesn't have the biggest of the former (that goes to Kate), she's the only "regular" (IE second-generation character, since the first often goes on seperate missions) to fall under the trope.
  • Extreme Doormat: Karkta lets anyone and everyone walk all over her, which pisses off Karkat to no end.
  • Light Is Not Good: Associated with lighter colors than the respective troll, and in many cases lighter than even some of the kid's colors. But none of them are really saints. (Aside from Karkta.)
  • Mind Reading: Kursis is able to know Erdini's name before she says it to absolutely anyone else. It's not known if Kurloz has this power himself, but considering their biological similarities he probably does.
  • New-Age Retro Hippie: Porsiv.
  • Purple Prose: Ardion's primary form of dialogue reads like some kind of confusing and complex poetry. Dave lampshades this in chapter 18, when he says that he knew Jaws, Dave requests Aradia to do the talking because he doesn't want to hear Adrion's exhausting descriptions. He doesn't talk as much as characters like Aranea or Kankri, but god is it hard to understand.
  • Screw This, I'm Outta Here! Netimp gets so fed up with the troll's inability to understand their own romance in chapter 19 (and being one of the only two who knows how the pale quadrant is) that he outright leaves the group and instead voluntiers to help the leprechauns. Nepeta (the other of the only two) is forced to akwardly leave the group too, thinking that lieing about not sharing his beliefs to be too big of a risk.
  • Shadow Archetype: Many of them are a lot more based on some kind of underlying inner feature of the trolls, in contrast to the humans, who mostly have exaggerations (as the trolls already had exaggerations in the form of both their HHC characterizations and, from canon, the "dancestors.")
  • Took a Level in Jerkass: Almost all of them are incredibly rude, such as Netimp (who openly insults the other members of the Crew with Brutal Honesty, and even leaves and calls them useless idiots — it doesn't help that their inability to decide how to evade the Troll Empress and their conversation regarding it suddenly derailing to subjects like which Super Smash Bros game is the best was actually proving him right) and Fefian (who specifically wants his original to look bad, taking advantage of how he's a supposed "fresh start" Peixes). Inverted with Mitchl, who is less explicit than Mituna, and Karkta, who is so harmless that even when the Hate Plague is unleashed the worst she can do becides spreading the virus (which she doesn't even want to do, but it's not too difficult to spread since it has limited air movement) is knock over some potted plants.
  • Unfortunate Names:
    • Tavass. Goes without saying, really.
    • In a subversion, chapter 19 goes out of its way to let us know that "Sliiou" does not rhyme with "Calliou," and it's pronounced "Sly-ow" instead. Not exactly a pleasant name still due to the pain-sound, but it's a step above having that association. Especially given the certain memes and Crack Fics aformentioned show is known on the web for.


    Pikmin Interns 

Pikmin Interns

A group of Pikmin Rose hired around chapter 8. (Note to self: Or was it 7?) Like Hecksing's Pikmin, they are meant to provide as a Red Shirt Army, although they ironically do not go on that many missions with the Crew. They are, however, pretty important to the Pikmin Rebellion Arc, as the name implies.

  • Easily Forgiven: Jake forgives them for nearly castrating them. Then again, he's Jake.
  • Honor Before Reason: Many of them, at least the ones that work under the Crew, seem to care more about what their "god" says and follow it unquestionably, without thinking about why in the world they are asked to attack the Crew.
  • Law of Chromatic Superiority: A Red Pikmin leads, but not because of this reason. It's because Reds are the first race you come across, permanently considering Yellows are found at the beginning of 3 but are unusable between the tutorial and getting to Distant Tundra.


Calliope Stardust

  • All There in the Manual: Aranea's 8ackstories reveals that she and Caliborn are actually counterparts to eachother, and that Calliope formed him by playing the Ballad of Duality while trapped in a cave.
  • Big Good: Chapter 24 already sets her up as this, since she acts as a firm and unambiguous "guide" of sorts to the Rainbow Crew, and greatly helps them out in the final battle.
  • Our Angels Are Different: For one, they aren't angels at all: Cherubim are just considered "another alien race" and have no connection to the afterlife whatsoever.
  • Walking Spoiler: She's generally supposed to be an unexpected, endgame addition to the Crew. Also, her awakening spoils John and Jade's wedding proposal.

For information on Homer and Geno, see the villains and "other" pages repectively.


The Felt


  • Obviously Evil: Their apartment/tower. It's a deep, saturated green in complete contrast to Chicago's grays and browns, which already makes it stick out like a sore thumb. But what's even worse when it's remade into the Felt Tower between seasons one and five, where it now has windows that look like a smile with razor sharp teeth, as well as a pair of "reflector globes/cue balls" that, when combined with the "smile windows," make it resemble Rip's grin. (And, admited to be a coincidence, it also wouldn't look too far off of something Fawful would have.)

    Doc Scratch 

Doctor Baul Scratch

The Big Bad of the overarching plot, Doc Scratch is the leader of a Hitler Revival Group known as the Felt. Despite this, he only even appears in the first, fifth, and seventh seasons. And this was an intentional challenge on Great Pikmin Fan's part.

  • Animate Inanimate Object: He's said to be a puppet brought to life and grown with dark magic in this verse, just with the head cut off and replaced with a cue ball.
  • Badass Decay: This is invoked with him, and how he's considerably weaker and lacks a lot of powers that his canon self has. At least he gets to be a bit taller.
  • Berserk Button: Appearing to have an orgy in his house quickly heats him up more than anything else. (Even his own minions betraying him.) He actually starts showing signs of competency.
  • Beware the Silly Ones: He suddenly gets pissed and starts using what appears to be powers similar to his canon self's First Guardian powers when he thinks that the Crew is doing it in his tower. And despite his oddness, he still manages to almost successfully trap the Rainbow Crew to the Grand Canyon.
  • Curb-Stomp Battle: He's on the recieving end of this in chapter 25, where he's beaten down defenseless as soon as Equius hits him with a light arrow. A similar thing happens to Lord English, only he doesn't even get the benefit of attacking first.
  • Forgot His Powers: In chapter 25, he teleports the entire Felt Tower and the occupants to the moon. While low on magic/life/chakra. If he can effortlessly teleport people around like this, why he never did before and never tried something more harmful like warping the Crew directly over the lava pit from chapter 15 is a mystery.
  • The Napoleon: This keeps in line with the one-off comment that he's four foot tall. While exact heights are not given aside from some general "constants," no member in the Rainbow Crew (except perhaps the leprechauns) is shorter than him, a fact explicitely stated when they are about to begin the final confrontation in chapter 25.
  • Not-So-Harmless Villain: Don't be fooled by how wacky he is and his general incompetance; everytime the Crew tries to fight him prior to the final three chapters, they ultimately fail reaching the man himself. In fact, Rip outright says that the Felt is probably one of the most dangerous Hitler Revival Groups out there, and applauds the Rainbow Crew's dedication to taking them down.
  • Shout-Out: Despite most of the fan fic being based on The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask, he seems to take a lot of cues from the Ganondorf battle in Ocarina of Time. To make it more obvious, the six barriers he has within the lowest floor of the tower that serves as the main focus of the first half of chapter 24 is clearly a derive of the barriers on Ganondorf's Castle. Naturally, Lord English fills in the role of Ganon.
  • Unfortunate Names: As revealed in chapter 24, his full name sounds like "Ball sack."


  • Back from the Dead: Karkat uses Die's doll to revive them all at the tail end of chapter 18. They become semi-regulars from then on.
  • Heel-Face Turn: Sort of. They turn out to share Damara's case, where Scratch forced them into working under him. After finding themselves completely surrounded by the Crew and thus "free," they join on and are accepted without discrimination.
  • Mr. Exposition: Crowbar explains to the Crew just what the hell is going on most of the time, especially when it comes to Calliope and how exactly she helps beating Doc Scratch.
  • Story-Breaker Power: As of the end of chapter 18, the Rainbow Crew now has fourteen time-related (or people who use powers similar to time) people on their side. Naturally, they tend to have some excuse as to why they can't use their abilities to just get around whatever issues the Crew is faced with. Karkat also doesn't revive them earlier because of some hastly-explained reason involving not wanting to risk bringing fourteen powerful time criminals back, and then when the war comes, the doll is knocked into the ocean as Karkat himself was revealed to be the person holding on to it.

    Other Help 

For Damara and Meenah, see their respective entries under the Rainbow Crew page.


Doc Scratch's pet... "dog" of sorts. It attacks the Rainbow Crew after Scratch sends them to its home location, the Grand Canyon.

  • Big Eater: It's implied that he tries to eat the members of the Rainbow Crew.
  • Bizarre Alien Biology: To the extent that it's not really clear just what the hell species he's supposed to be, or even what planet it comes from. Virtually everything else at least has a planet it can be traced to.
  • Call a Smeerp a "Rabbit": This thing looks somewhat like a giant preying mantis made of wood and similar material, with huge eyes. He can also talk. Yet he's called Scratch's "dog."
  • Giant Space Flea from Nowhere: He comes out of nowhere and has no prior mention to chapter 17.
  • Nightmare Face: As revealed in concept art (the chapter 17 picture Fan posted on his Tumblr page), he looks more than a little deranged.

Lewis Scratch

Doc Scratch's adopted son. He makes his first appearance all the way in chapter 24, where Scratch allows him to try to "collect" the Rainbow Crew. He seems to be a little... into them.

  • Abhorrent Admirer: To the whole Crew. He's at least around three years younger than them and damn-near obsessed with their looks.
  • Heel Realization: He learns the error of his ways at the end of chapter 24.
  • Loony Fan: He's not even really part of the Felt, yet he's so crazy for the Rainbow Crew and selfish about it that he's probably a bigger threat than any of the mooks.
  • Take That: Most of the idea behind the Rainbow Crew is a jab at fans who sexualize the Homestuck characters (at least, thankfully, they're aged up if they were unambiguously underage in canon), and this cumulates in this guy, who is basically a jab at either the people who enjoy the works or the people who make them. Which makes his later interest in the 360 to be Self-Deprecation, considering how Pikmin Fan himself made up those guys.
  • This Loser Is You: Again, a deck at the pervy fans. It may not have been the intent at the time (as he was thought up well before said canon events happened), but this guy makes Caliborn's sexualized anime drawings look generous by comparason. This is also a bit of a deck towards Pikmin Fan himself, considering both Calliope's Back Story and how Lewis later starts obsessing over the 360 instead, who are made by Fan himself.


Caliborn Stardust/Lord English

Calliope's counterpart made long ago. While trapped in a cave-in, she seeked assistance from Hank Hill, and learnt the Ballad of Duality. In a similar case to Karkta and Kiriki, the song could not replicate Calliope's "rare mutation" (as it stands in this world) and instead dyed the counterpart's blood a solid red. Quickly growing far more hostile with Calliope than any original/counterpart pair, he seeked a life of crime far away from anything Calliope wanted to be involved with and eventually found Doc Scratch. And became his "go-to guy." Which really just meant that he smuggled drugs for Scratch. In Scratch's final breaths, he used the last bit of his power to swap his position in the place of Caliborn, who had since used time travel to become the much older Lord English. The ensuing fight... is nothing spectacular.

  • Anti-Climax Boss: Invoked. He was intended to look extremely easy to defeat after his reveal. Unlike Doc Scratch, he doesn't even get a real attack in before being light arrow'd and beaten to death.
  • Bigger Bad: Subverted. He was really just a random ally of Doc Scratch's that technically isn't part of the Felt, who Scratch convinced to fight the Crew as a last resort.
  • Brick Joke: Early in Hurrcain, Mituna, Porrim, Latula, and Cronus all mistake the Rainbow Crew for Jehova's Witnesses at first. In Split, guess what Caliborn almost becomes.
  • Curb-Stomp Battle Is on the recieving end of one by the Rainbow Crew.
  • Embarssing Middle Name: Well, his last name. He doesn't really like it.
  • Evil Counterpart: To Calliope, natch and literally as what he is is considered a counterpart. In Housestuck: The Split, he's given an Eviler Counterpart in the form of Dark Caliborn, who is really a transformed state of Marie Kanker that took some DNA from blood she drank.
  • Evil Versus Oblivion: Inverted in Split. He tries to be the oblivion to Marie Kanker/Dark Lord English, greatly opposing her plans to make the entire universe into her slaves (mostly because they would also be naked, and he strongly opposes nudity). But saving the universe from her makes him rethink life and become a devout born-again Christian.
  • Foregone Conclusion: Practically his appearance, ever since Geno mentioned Calliope back in chapter 3.
  • Last Episode New Character: He beats even Calliope (23, if at the very end) and Lewis (24, again at the very end) in being a character with a large part in the final season that's not introduced until pretty late into the story. However, he still gets some expansion thanks to Aranea's 8ackstories.
  • The Last of These Is Not Like the Others: He is the final real villain introduced (not counting the bonus characters in the epilogue, as Section DCLXVI were to Hecksing), and yet he's the only one that was another "player" canonically just like the rest of the Rainbow Crew. He is also the last counterpart introduced (in both Hurrcain Crconikals and the Split), yet he's the only one that definitively exists in canon and the only one that never becomes a member of the Rainbow Crew in either timeline.
  • Outside-Context Villain: He honestly still has no ties to any Crew member that isn't Calliope, unless you count how Geno was her failed bodyguard and John had an obsession with Geno. He was just some guy Doc Scratch knew and set up contacts with, and Calliope didn't have strong ties with the Crew either and only helped them by making a shortcut to the final rooms of the Felt Tower. He's not even officially part of the Felt.
  • Power Glows: He makes everything around him (read: the entire moon) flash his billiard colors when he's first summoned.
  • Take That: An aversion in Housestuck: The Split. You'd think that him becoming a Christian would lead to some hidden Bitch in Sheep's Clothing or that he'd use the religion as an excuse to act the way he always does (John expected this), or a general dig at the religion, but he genuinely becomes a better person and this is treated as a legitamate Heel-Face Turn. Although he still annoys the Rainbow Crew...
    Caliborn in the epilogue of Split: And if you have about forty-five minutes would you like to hear about the Lord Jesus Christ?
  • Used to Be a Sweet Kid: Averted unless you count the fact that he used to be nothing more than a dormant thought or something inside Calliope, or however the Ballad of Duality really works.
  • Walking Spoiler: While it should almost be a given that he's in the story, especially after Calliope's debut, his presense is still something of a spoiler.

Troll Empress and Related

    The Troll Empress 

The psychotic ruler of at least Alternia, and someone who has some pretty strong power over the United States as well. (Word Of God confirms that she has no power in Canada, Mexico, or the United Kingdom(s of London.)) She was actually an experiment created by then-ruler of the troll world Emperor F about three centuries ago to create a person with a combination of all twelve troll castes, including the extinct lime. This was to destroy an even more aggressive alien race that was attacking trollkind, the Zergizocks.

  • A Day in the Limelight: Sprinkled out through the first four chapters of season six. Back in four, she was just some nutjob ruler who served as an excuse to get John and Jade (and the rest of the Crew) on the jury mission. However, chapter 18 reveals the reason for her creation, 19 elaborates on the tension she causes between Condesce and Fuchsian and their mutual hatred towards her actually bonds them, 20 shows how her rule "works," and 21 gives a bit of a look into her past self even though she died the chapter before.
  • A Dog Named Dog: Sentient humanoid example. Her first name is "Troll."
  • Alien Blood: Even by troll standards. She has twelve different blood colors somehow flowing through at once, but when she bleeds, they all mix together to form an inky black. This can only really be created by a very specific, very precice genetic experiment, as attempting to pass this down via sex apparantly just results in the descendants having any of the individual colors at random (heck, based on Vocalist and Signless, said blood can even mutate).
  • Anything That Moves: She fucked a Mother Grub. And this is how the ancestors were born, embarassingly enough.
  • Ax-Crazy: Very little of anything she says makes sense or can be classed as any definition of "sane." The plot of the fourth season is kicked off because she threats John and Jade into forming a jury with death being the threat. And then there's her actions in season six, which are just plain senseless. Seeing as she was raised by the Imperial Drone, who based on his comments probably isn't the most stable person out there himself, her homelife probably only made her for the worse.
  • Death by Irony:
    • Meenah, second to Condesce in being the origin for her expy-wise, is her ultimate murderer.
    • The first thing she does to the Rainbow Crew when meeting with them in the flesh is to split them in two (by their original sex; drafting the guys, then the girls after half of them are dead). Gender segregation aside, how does she die again?
  • Disc One Final Boss: Of season six. Nope, Jaws is the true Big Bad of that season.
  • Evil Counterpart: Probably to the entire Rainbow Crew, but to Karkat in particular. Oddly, she is associated with a rainbow, while Karkat is largely associated with gray.
  • Famous Last Words: "A knife? I don't know whether to laugh or cry... so I'll do both!"
  • Generation Xerox: Subtle, but still there, in that she sometimes shows traits of some of the trolls eventually descended from her. Most obviously is her death sequence, where she mimicks Gamzee's having one half laughing while the other half frowns in shock.
  • God Save Us from the Queen!: Haha, yeah, she's a brutal empress/leader. She has the whole of the troll race under her finger prior to her death, and is heavily implied to have a hold on human/Earth society too.
  • Killed Off for Real: In chapter 20, but she gets to re-appear as her past self in 21.
  • Knight of Cerebus: She is possibly the story's nastiest villain, her introduction kicks off the arc where things start taking themselves a bit more seriously, and she's the direct reason why everyone save for the Leijons dies in the oil rig war.
  • Half the Woman She Used to Be: Bisected by the second generation Rainbow Crew thanks to their newest submarine feature: A giant knife.
  • Hate Sink: Doc Scratch was supposed to at least be mildly entertaining with his Cloud Cuckoolander-ness added to him. A similar case is done for the other villains, who have their own little quirks. She, however, is mostly meant to annoy, and thus make Meenah's kill of her into a bigger triumph.
  • Her Name Really is Troll Empress: She was named as such by the Imperial Drone who raised her. Who also flat-out decided to "Fuck the 6-6 naming system!"
  • Insane Troll Logic: Literally! She's an insane troll, and most of her logic can really only be defined with the three words that make up the trope. Her way of being considered the ruler is the more traditional/figurative form, where the blood colors are equated to numbers (fuchsia = 12; violet = 11; etc), and instead of being judged as a whole or as a mutant, her ranking went somewhat like "12+11+10+9+8..." technically placing her at a whopping 78. By this logic, someone with two lower blood colors can theoretically outrank a mid-blood, but the hemospectrum doesn't even make sense in the first place.
  • Last of Her Kind: To both the limeblood race and, after Emperor F.'s getting killed thanks to his own Imperial Drone system, the fuchsiablood race. She eventually succeeds in reviving them both.
  • Luke, I Am Your Father: She's the direct biological mother to the Rainbow Crew-ancestors, and by proxy the grandmother to all of their descendants. This also means that every single troll in the Crew is related to eachother in some way, and eventually related to her. Which makes for a whole lot of incest.
  • Odd Name Out: Violates the 6/6 naming system by instead going by 5/7. This was given by the Imperial Drone, who himself said to fuck the naming system.
  • Offing the Offspring: After getting desperate, she tries this on Condesce and Fuchsian, and by extent attempts to kill off the other ancestors and descendant-trolls. Who are her children and grandchildren, respectively.
  • Oh, Crap: "A knife?"
  • Parody Sue: While she is a villain and not comitted in a relationship to anyone, she still falls under this for having an unusual blood color (rainbow, at that), having a lot of power, replacing the role of at least one other character, and being "unusual" or "different" in a lot of ways. Plus, her backstory as an engineered super experiment counts her towards this as well.
  • Patricide: Well, matricide. Meenah gleefully bisects her with a giant knife. Granted, she totally deserved it, as she spent the whole story up until this point as an insane, murderous dictator.
  • Really Gets Around: Supposedly, this is how she revived the limeblood race. Despite being batfuck crazy she somehow had a pretty decent collection of mates over the years.
  • Really 700 Years Old: Condesce and Fuchsian may subvert this by the former lying about her age and the latter being assumed to be as old, but she herself was fairly long-lived. Around three hundred.
  • Red Right Hand: Apart from her horn design being ret-conned to be asymetrical, she has a five-fingered left hand yet a right hand with polydactyly. As Meulin also has six fingers, except on both hands, this is the first hint in the comic that they are related.
  • Shock and Awe: Her Weapon of Choice is a taser. Being related to Sollux and Mituna, she might also have natural electric-like powers to some extent too.
  • Slasher Smile: As seen in concept art for chapter 18.
  • Spell My Name with a "The": While not part of her official name, "the" is often tacked on because it feels better for most people to call her "the Troll Empress" and not just "Troll Empress."
  • Stable Time Loop: Her hatred towards the Rainbow Crew involves at least two of these. One is that the Auto Responders were secretly uploading information about them to the server, including her death in the future. Another is that she just happened to cross paths with them in the past.
  • Uh-Oh Eyes: Her irises quickly "splash" around all kinds of different colors, as a result of her twelve seperate pigments wildly flowing around them or... something.
  • Wrong Genre Savvy: She thinks that the second generation would be helpless without the first generation to assist them, so she gets Censorbot to barricade the latter out (and Hecksing). However, what she doesn't realize is that the second generation of the Rainbow Crew has spent the whole story training up to become more badass and able to get through tougher situations, independant from their older relatives. The Crew quickly overwhelms her. (Though this seperation was really just an excuse so as to not also have the guardians and ancestors go back in time and see their past selves; not because Never Shall The Selves Meet (which Great Pikmin Fan always averts), but because Pikmin Fan thought that it would be too exhausting to have two temporal copies of them around in addition to the already massive number of characters, and feel that they wouldn't have quite the impact if their older selves were still around).

    The Imperial Drone 

  • Adult Fear: He gives himself up to protect the Troll Empress in chapter 19, since the Troll Empress is pretty much his adoptive daughter.
  • Couldnt Find A Door: He likes breaking through walls. Even the walls of his own home.
  • The Dragon: To the Troll Empress, although Censorbot ends up outliving him (and the Empress herself, for that matter). He's the one who carries out the threats, and prior when she barges into the hotel in chapter 18, he's the communication link between the Rainbow Crew and her.
  • Really 700 Years Old: He's at least three hundred. Probably older: His history before the Troll Empress was born hasn't been elaborated on yet.


Months after returning to the present, the Crew finds out that the Troll Empress's taser also housed an emergency signal to this giant robot set to go off should the taser break. This bot awoke, terrorizing a nudist collony until the Rainbow Crew stepped in and looked for its hideout.

    The Auto Responders 

Dirk's was very, very briefly mentioned by the narrative where he's used as a communication device, in chapter 22 he is finally revealed to be a computer program that was embedded within Dirk's shades, which he wore even after the Felt stole almost everything else in chapter 15, and thus were cloned in the Ballad of Duality. With Dian having one as well, they silently kept track of and analyzed everything. This is because they were actually made with some spare AI coding originally made by the Troll Empress, and as a result were obedient to her word and used as a "final last resort trump card" in case anything ran by the Empress is killed or destroyed. Thanks to them filling the databanks even when the Crew was in the past, the Troll Empress found out about the Crew beforehand and this started a pretty complicated Stable Time Loop. Once Censorbot was at the brink of destruction on chapter 22, the Auto Responders finally revealed their true intentions, merged with eachother (boosting their power for some reason), and flew off aimlessly to try to come up with a revenge plan. Jaws quickly encountered them, and used their power as a pseudo-Wonder Mask to transform into Wonder-Jaws for chapter 23.

  • Absurdly Sharp Blade: They can cut through Censorbot's extremely tough exterior, which is especially ridiculous since they were conceptualized as ordinary shades.
  • Ambiguous Gender: Individually, the topic of their genders doesn't come up, and after being fused they go by "they" and remain fused until both of them are blown up. Word Of God confirms that Dirk's is male, and Dian's is female, as with their respective owners, and even specifies that their ability to change their shape around pretty freely is mostly derived from the Ballad of Duality's ability to let the user change their own sex at will (in other words, shape-shifting). But this contradicts Dian's comments that things that aren't organic aren't really cloned with differences as with people.
  • Bigger Bad: Of season six and by proxy most of the events leading up to the season six finale. (Though they're dead/destroyed by season seven.) They have spent the entire fan fic recording everything and sending it to the Troll Empress, thanks to a little Stable Time Loop involving the database collection system. They are also the only enemies becides Censorbot who are directly tied to the Troll Empress yet do not become active until after her death. Once they are destroyed, the Rainbow Crew is finally, truthfully free from the Troll Empress for the first time in their lives.
  • Cain and Abel: For reasons unknown, they have a large hostility towards Dian (and not Dirk, even more odd).
  • Chekhov's Gunman: Dirk's is mentioned exactly once really early on, and Dian's isn't mentioned at all until the reveal. Both of them provide a minor but still important role in finding Calliope.
  • Cool Shades: Well, yes. Both of them are sentient shades.
  • Domino Mask: Resemble this when becoming a false Wonder Mask for Jaws.
  • The Dragon: To the Troll Empress, and the final dragon(s) to Jaws.
  • Dragon-in-Chief: Seems to be far more dangerous and physically capable than the Troll Empress herself, effortlessly disabling many Rainbow Crew member's abilities and whooping them in fight when in tandem with Jaws. Played straighter when considered Jaw's dragon, as they enhance him and have their own hacking skills to make him far, far more dangerous than he already is.
  • Hive Mind: Worse than Dirk and Dian is that the two of these appear to think almost the same thing as the other constantly, and do so in unison. Once they merge, it becomes something more of a Mind Hive.
  • Knight of Cerebus: The final four chapters (oddly, the first of them is still part of the otherwise laid back sixth season) are a bit more serious in tone, so it's natural that they would be introduced as a preface to the first of them. After their introduction and the odd plot holes that arise from their existances, their attack in chapter 23 (well, not counting when Jaws broke in, but their solo movement after he's unconcious) is probably the first time something is played completely seriously in this fan fic.
  • The Mole: What's weird is that in both of their cases they are moles upon their own creation. Dirk overlooked the fact that they share technology with the Troll Empress's stuff.
  • Shout-Out: To The Wonderful 101. Once again, this is referencing something that, in our timeline, does not exist in 2011.
  • Sinister Shades: They are sinister shades.

    Lawyer Guy 

Threats Debuing in Season One


    Chief Wiggim 

  • Disproportunate Retribution: His first appearance involves shooting people for speeding. Later on, he takes some lessons to calm himself down, and now he only pulls people over (as Integra learnt within Hecksing Ulumate Crconikals proper).

    Hitler Tattoo 

All members of Hitler Revival Groups have to get a tattoo of Hitler on their rear (or something close to an analogue on people who lack defined butts) when being admitted, even unwilling membes. However, it turns out that they appear to have some sort of sentience, simply being dormant most of the time. They activate whenever fire's around and comes close to burning them (though how Matchstick's was never activated was never explained), as John, Jade, Damara, and especially Geno and the crew of an airship realize the hard way when trying to remove Damara's tattoo.

Damara's tattoo is also the only one not just in HHC, but in Crconikals thusfar to be a threat. It seems to have strange morphing powers.

Threats Debuing in Season Two

    Xenomorph Brothers 

    Hacker Ninjas 

    The Shipperworm 

    The Rainbow Sisters 

A sextet of misogynistic sisters who, for some reason, have had a long rivalry against Porrim.

  • Badass Adorable: As revealed in concept art, they're actually drawn in a rather "cutesy" way. Rainbow Pink, the youngest, especially.
  • Bullying a Dragon: They constantly pick on Porrim, who spent the majority of the story as an extremely powerful rainbow drinker/vampire.
  • Card-Carrying Villain: They don't act subtle at all.
  • Chekhov's Gunman: They start out like generic, unamusing villains, but get much higher roles in chapters 23 and 26.
  • Colorful Theme Naming: They mainly go by Rainbow Red, Rainbow Orange, Rainbow Yellow, Rainbow Green, Rainbow Purple, and Rainbow Pink. During her short time working withthem, Jade was Rainbow Blue for reasons not quite clear. (It was originally her hair, as she was going to take off her Sweet Jade and Hella John design and share Rip's dark blue, but then she is confirmed to be technicolor. Since she has green skin and hair and clothes, it no longer makes sense.)
  • Evil Counterpart: To the Rainbow Crew as a whole, being a band of color-coded villains who go around causing misery to others. In theory. In practice, they start off absolutely pathetic. One additional point is that while all members of the Rainbow Crew (before the addition of the guardians, ancestors, and leprechauns) are almost exactly the same age, each sister is two years apart, with Rainbow Red being older than the second gen at 19, and Rainbow Pink only being 9.
  • Female Misogynist: All six of them hate other girls and women.
  • Not-So-Harmless Villain: They're curb-stomped by Vriska (at the time the closest thing the Rainbow Crew had to a Joke Character) in their first appearance, and the battle wasn't even written at first. It just consisted of "they lost." Later on, they become a lot more competant; enough to duel the ex-Alphas fairly well.


Homer Simpson

The Homer Simpson. He first appeared having already been hired as one of Meenah's top minions, with the other being the Stalfos. He's fired at the tail end of chapter seven, and in chapter eight he forces the Crew to join him in order to complete Kurloz's quest. However, and to the relief of most (if not all) Crew members, he's incapitated in the assault itself. Sadly, that body would become mutated by nuclear waste it fell in, turning him into a mutant that grows as he eats people. He may have gotten killed, but his ghost still haunted the Crew until Equius found a way around it.

  • Heel-Face Revolving Door: He starts out as what is implied to be a... decent person, if a little looney. Then after finding out about his death, he goes a little antagonistic and tries to kill the Crew. Then he sides with an unknowing Meenah years later, and then Meenah pisses him off by firing him (as Homer pissed Meenah off with a prank). Homer, in revenge, sided with the then-Rainbow Crew, seemingly forgetting that they were also his entire motivation for joining forces with Meenah in the first place. And once he dies, both his mutant monster form and his ghost are straight-up villains. But being "purified" into Hank Hill also makes him good... in a way.
  • Deader Than Dead: His ghost is reincarnated into Hank Hill, suggesting that the spirit itself was transformed by the light arrow, and that he's never coming back. Fitting, as Fan technically "retired" Simpsons characters from appearing in SBIG unless they already existed in some form and the story has not finished their arcs pre-retiring. Despite this, he still gets to come back in the form of the split timeline.
  • Stable Time Loop: His obsession over trying to Screw Destiny and prevent his death after finding out about it through Hank leads to him teaming up with Meenah in HHC's proper timespan, then dying after pulling a Heel-Face Turn. Oddly, he sided with the exact same people who were against him.


A Stalfos that initially worked under Meenah's wing. While he seemed devoted to her no matter what choices she made, he's killed off before Meenah's Heel-Face Turn, so his reaction to her joining the Crew was unknown for a long period of time.

He later makes a return in chapter 23 as a brief cameo as a ghost.

  • The Dragon: To Meenah, back when she was an actual threat to the Crew.
  • Dropped a Bridge on Him: Gets bridge-dropped by Feferi while the rest of the Crew are distracted.
  • Flat Character: He does not get that much development for an apparant dragon. Kick-starting Homer Simpson's death is pretty much the only thing he does of any note at all, and while it is a very important moment (leading to Hank which leads to a lot of stuff), it's still fairly small and he doesn't do much before being killed suddenly by Feferi.
  • Jaw Drop: His reaction to Meenah's plans to take down the Rainbow Crew.
  • The Worf Effect: He's killed by Feferi once the Crew finally encounters him.

Threats Debuing in Season Three

    Moth Reaper 

    Waterwraith/Plasm Wraith 

The Waterwraith/Plasm Wraith

A michevious ghost-like (but distinctly not ghost; exactly what a wraith is is currently not clear) entity that attempts to manipulate the Pikmin back in season three. After being defeated when the Rainbow Crew call the Onions, this attacks the ancestors back on Alternia for revenge, then absorbs Fuchsian's airship to become the Plasm Wraith. And he leaps back into the Grand Canyon for a re-match shortly after the death of Stickdawg. Before his defeat, however, he calls the Rocket Blaster to finish off the Crew after being defeated in a "bet" where the counterparts and the originals each take on one incarnation of him.

Threats Debuing in Season Four


    The Mummy 


Eric Cartman

  • Jerkass: Probably one of the rudest antagonistic forces the Crew comes across. He pretty much forces the squad at the time to do his bidding for him and only grudgingly joins on the jury as something resembling return. He attempts to imprison the Crew just to use as tools, something no other jury member did.

    Death Mecha 


    Yellow Devil/Purple Devil 


    Haku and Zabuza 

    Ωmega Drew Pickles 

  • Chekhov's Gunman: He's a joke when introduced, but Kyle, Stan, and Kenny looking into Death Mecha results in them accidentally releasing what can best be described as an "Avenge me" will video from him. His video call-out for help might have triggered a few things from the fifth arc. Subverted in that all Scratch accomplishes from Pickle's message is that more of his mooks die.
  • The Worf Effect: All he really does is serve as a way to worf Team Four, just to in turn get worfed by said team's guardians. Even his own minions lasted longer than him, and had flashier battles plus an actual role in the plot (unless you count how he sent the other three out in the first place, but with the way they were presented they might as well be Monsters of the Week anyway).

    The Pirates 


Threats Debuing in Season Five

    Rocket Blaster 

The only original villain of season five, and even that's because Fan wanted a new non-Felt villain introduced there. He was shoed-into the the Grand Canyon to try to help Plasm Wraith gain the upper hand in battle. He later returns in the Hecksing crossover.

Threats Debuing in Season Six


A race of aliens that terrorized the trolls in the past. After the Troll Empress's rise to power, she proceeded to go... overboard in fighting them back, and mercelessly slaughtered even the members that were not part of the warring group, until the entire species was extinct.

  • Fantastic Racism: Discriminated against and later oppressed the trolls for some reason, then ended up getting killed by the Troll Empress.
  • Posthumous Character: The entire species was killed long before the ancestors and guardians were born.
  • The Worf Effect: Species-wise. What's a way to show this race as being full of terrifying badasses? Why, have them conquer Alternia at its highest and reduce it from a galaxy-spanning empire to a single island with terrible economy.


  • Evil Counterpart: In a subtle way, to Nepeta. Both are/were immortals who always outlived everyone they were near, and have a nack for planning along with very Determinator atittudes. The difference being that while Nepeta has developed a large mask and a cynic underside to all the deaths around her, and heavy pity for the Rainbow Crew as a result, Jaws clearly does not give a shit about any of the villains he teams up with.
  • Joker Immunity: Subverted. Each chapter, he returns with different enemies by his side and always survives them, but he's finally killed off in the season finale. And, appropriately, blown up by his assistant at the time.
  • One-Winged Angel: Wonder-Jaws in chapter 23/the tail end of chapter 22.
  • Villain Exit Stage Left: In chapter 19, when Dark Ezekiel takes advantage of his resurrecting abilities to fuse with him yet still have Jaws around, Jaws has no part in the rest of the chapter other than to face-palm at Dark Ezekiel's stupidity. From then on out, the remaining portion of the chapter is about Dark Ezekiel, then saving Gamzee from His Honorable Tyranny and co.
  • Villain Team-Up: With Dark Ezekiel, then Bororo's group, then he mostly goes solo in chapter 21, then again with Censorbot attacking him, and finally he settles with the Auto Responders.

    Sharkweaks and Sharkstrongs 

Jaw's army, although their only major role is in chapter 18, as they are quickly wiped out by the Rainbow Crew during that chapter and Jaws... kind of works solo from there on out.

  • Elite Mooks: Even the Sharkweaks can kill off members of the Rainbow Crew, which is no easy achievement for a single member, let alone droves of them.

    Dark Ezekiel 

Dark Ezekiel Smithy

A strange clone of Ezekiel that the Troll Empress had kept sealed up in Alternia.

  • Ascended Extra: He goes from a one-shot to a minor arc villain for the first half of Housestuck: The Split.
  • Expy: Being sealed in a dungeon in an island-society? He falls under the same plot role as the Curse Women did in Sweet Jade and Hella John. The icing is how the sealer is probably a bigger threat to the protagonists than the seal-ie.
  • Healing Factor: His regeneration apparantly rivals SCP-682's, with the exception of light magic (which greatly slows it down).
  • Informed Attribute: For a guy that's supposed to have a bit of a grudge on the Alphas, he mainly targets Nepeta (a Zodiac) because he's implied to find her hot.
  • Mythology Gag: He seems to have taken a little bit of Kathy's traits, like calling Nepeta "Cutebutt." Unlike her, this guy seems a lot more sincere about it.
  • Palette Swap: He's a pitch-black Ezekiel with a gray hoodie and red eyes and teeth.
  • Red Eyes, Take Warning: His eye color is red.
  • Take That: Mainly at "dark" characters in general, although Fan says that he himself enjoys the trope.
  • Villain Team-Up: He teams up with Jaws because of their shared love of chaos.
  • We Hardly Knew Ye: One of the few villains, along with Jaw's sentient shark soldier army, to die on the chapter he was introduced.

    His Honorable Tyranny 


A random musclebeast that helps His Honorable Tyranny capture Gamzee.


Bororo Sierda

A teenage troll (indigoblood/Gamzee's caste, to be specific) that helps His Honorable Tyranny keep Gamzee at bay. Like in her original story of 496 Reasons, she seems to have an unhealthy fixation on him. After surviving the Rainbow Crew's attack, she teams up with Rocket Blaster and the two of them amass a group mostly consisting of villains the Crew failed to kill, but some of them were original.

  • Yandere: To Gamzee, as with herself in 496 Reasons.

    Anti-Supernatural Fanclub 

An HRG encountered by both Hecksing and the Rainbow Crew during their crossover, and the only one so far that both of them have taken on in actual combat (not counting Jade's bad encounter with Rip in the past meaning that she fought Millennium too, in fact Kanaya and Equius worked with Doctor without even knowing about his organization's dark goal). Basically an organizational-expy of Iscariot, they try to kill vampires and other supernatural forces as per their Fantastic Racism/Van Helsing Hate Crimes.

Despite their name, they insist that they have nothing to do with Supernatural. Some of them are even fans of it.

    The Time Screwer 

This is supposedly a mysterious entity that attacks those who interfere with time, and the idea behind him scares the Rainbow Crew when they accidentally travel to the past. It's later proven that this thing doesn't actually exist, at least not in the form of any mystic being. He's really just a guy named Nick Page (no relation, although John finally shows some of his canon interest in the guy by being displeased to find the name similarity) who wishes that the Crew didn't try to use time travel the way they did.

  • Badass Normal: He holds up on his own against the entire Rainbow Crew — and this is the RC near the end of their badass line, at that! — for quite a while, and he's one of the few villains that doesn't have that much power.
  • Clock Roaches: Subverted. Creatures of this kind do not exist in the Crconikals world, and this rumor is no exception.
  • No Celebrities Were Harmed: Averted, he's clearly his own person and not just a celebrity parody ala Carl. He doesn't even look like Nick Cage.
  • Posthumous Character: He's implied to have been dead by 2011.
  • Real After All: Subverted. Shortly after he's defeated, we see a shot of what looks like another one of them hiding in the shadows, staring meanacingly at the Crew... then Dave happens to notice it, hits it, and it turns out to just have been Roxy stealing his costume.

    Candy Flowers 

Candy Flowers/"The Old Lady"

A seemingly random citizen that the Rainbow Crew encounters in the past shortly after an attack by Homer forces them to leave their job at Hooters/Roosters. Because leaving the premises also caused them to lose their uniforms, the Crew was naked, and Candy took special offense to this. Moreso than anyone else in the vicinty. Determined to prevent them from "Ruining children," she sets out to kill the Crew so that their nudity wouldn't get into the kiddie's eyes.

  • Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: She is described as looking very sweet and harmless and even has an over-the-top passive name, but dear lord don't get her started on what "needs to be done for the children."
  • Double Standard: Her whole character is mostly to parody the one present about views on violence vs views on nudity in certain societies. She think's it's acceptable to turn the Rainbow Crew inside out in front of people than risk letting anymore of them seeing them naked. Naturally, virtually everyone else is horrified at this.
    Dave: Please tell me we're in a state that has a death penalty.
  • Fan Disservice: Walks around in a dress that blows easily and wears no underwear. She's also somewhere in her seventies, as the title "Old Lady" implies.
  • Going Commando: Despite Equius and Nepeta finding nothing wrong with this, it's still played for pure Fan Disservice. She never wears anything under that dress.
  • Hypocrite: Ignoring the obvious of her sheer willingness to try to gut/invert the Crew so that they don't expose themselves to too many people, she not only probably has the biggest pottymouth of anybody in this fan fic (which is saying a lot), but she also goes commando in a dress that's all-too easy to blow up. For the latter, she tends to blame completely unrelated characters for this.
  • Moral Guardians: In-universe, she's a pretty nasty an unambiguously antagonistic example.
  • Never Mess with Granny: A villainous example, she is more-than capable of hopping along cars and shooting up even experienced psychic trolls that have taken down various monsters.
  • Never My Fault: Appears to hold this atittude, everytime she exposes herself it's always because of the driver of a particular car even though she jumped in the middle of a traffic-heavy freeway. But it's totally the Rainbow Crew's fault for being naked because they should have read the entire contract that leaving the immediate workplace area causes their uniforms to yank themselves off and literally run back to the restaurants. Even the Rainbow Sisters admit that they're assholes.
  • Post Humous Character: As with Time Screwer, it's implied that she's dead by 2011, meaning that she's dead by the time the fan fic began.
  • Stop Being Stereotypical: It's implied that her extremist actions is what got rid of what little modesty humanity had in the Crconikals world back in 1993, as the other people uncomfortable with nudity either feel silent in embarassment or changed their minds on account of not wanting to be associated with her.
  • Think of the Children!: Though she does not seem to think that killing a huge group of people in violent ways would at all traumatise her kids. Thankfully, she does not succeed in killing anybody.


Rick Abs

A fairly popular surfer and golf player at the local high school, who Jade worries will end up becoming yet another one of John's dates thanks to a fear that resulted from his recent breakup with Jane. John says that he never felt anything towards him, Jade says she's glad at that — and unknowingly reveals her crush on him to Rick for the first time. Since Rick had secretly held an obsession with Jade, this drives him completely off.

His character is clearly based on the author's Homestuck original villain with the same name, who has appeared in Calliope's Back Story, among other stories.

  • Berserk Button: He starts of laid-back, if showing some signs of slipping at times. But once he hears that Jade is interested in John, he flips.
  • Color-Coded Characters: Confusingly, he has the exact same theme color as Jean. This is noteworthy for an author who goes out of his way to ensure that no two members of the Rainbow Crew have the same colors, and gets very specific hex combinations to enforce this.
  • Humans Are the Real Monsters: In a series with malicious water-beings (Waterwraith), mummies (the Mummy), trolls (Troll Empress), drones (Imperial Drone), robots (Lawyer Guy('s copies), Censorbot, and Death Mecha), vampires (Rip), and weird stuff (Darkhorse), he's still probably the most terrifying villain and the evilest despite "just" being a human. Fittingly, the chapter he appears in also has a virus that "unleashes a person's primal urges," showing that deep down some of the characters (except Karkta) can be real asses.
  • Jerk Jock: A muscular, dual-sport playing asshole that was at least a bully to Tavros (though in most of his appearance this is glossed over in favor for his unhealthy Jade obsession and fighting with John over it).
  • Killed Off for Real: Thanks to a combination of Tavros's thinking and an appearance by Jaws.
  • Knight of Cerebus: Not to the extent of previous contenders like Century. Word Of God is that he was intended to feel like a "gateway" of sorts to season seven, with how it has the highest ratio of emotion to comedy in the whole story. Yes, this point may seem a little too late to have a trope that involves setting the tone for the rest of it, but he captures the transition to a season that's supposed to be more down-to-earth character development and fluff. Despite the guy himself being a terrifying attempted killer.
  • Monster of the Week: Kind of a given when looking at this a certain way: Almost all other villains listed on here got to reappear at least once (save for Time Screwer/Page, because he's implied to be dead in 2011 and there's only one chapter that takes place in the past long enough to have him as a threat), usually in season four or six. This is as they get to be in a later chapter. However, he and Censorbot are both introduced when the story is a stone's throw away from ending. One and two chapters respectively before the final season starts, and the final season only has three chapters, one of which being the showdown and the final one consisting entirely of an epilogue of flashforewards that go up to the year 2041. So, being introduced this close to the end of the story, Fan didn't feel he could bring them back (yes, chapter 24 is intended to be a Continuity Calvalcade, but exclusively limited to heroes or neutral parties), so they were killed off on their introductory chapter while everyone else survived a few more or outright weren't killed, just arrested or something instead.
  • Obviously Evil: The dude sports on a Slasher Smile when he's not giving a pretty grim-looking smirk. His extra forms are related to darkness and his highest one even melts half his face into a skull with a glowing red eye. This guy is obviously not a hero.
  • Testosterone Poisoning: Holy shit. This guy makes Equius look feminine by comparason.
  • The Worf Effect: While he and Jaws do briefly co-exist in the threat spotlight, he's ultimately killed by the shark when Tavros kicks him into Jaw's mouth, bisecting him with his teeth.
  • Yandere: Towards Jade. He starts out being calm, cool, and collected, but suddenly snaps when he finds out that she has a crush on someone else.

Threats Debuing in Season Seven

There are technically none, as all enemies faced there are either characters from before or part of the Felt.

Threats Debuting in Aranea's 8ackstories

    Sburbland — Denizens 

By day, they are the animatronics of the "Singing Beasts" attraction of Sburbland. By night, Cal directs the magic from the tablet into them and the plushies, bringing them to life and letting them roam the park.

  • Could Have Avoided This Plot: Simply giving them and Cal magic/chakra tablets could have avoided their intense desire to be seperated from the Tablet's powers.
  • Disc One Final Boss: They're not the real threats of Sburbland — the plushies are.
  • Elemental Hair: All four of them have hair based on the element that their canon players, and even canon incarnations in general, are tied to.
  • Full-Frontal Assault: Unsurprisingly anymore to anyone familiar with the story, Echidna does in fact charge at any foe topless.
  • Humongous Mecha: Their monster forms are represented as mecha that they ride around in during attractions. They were built by the park staff with a number of real elemental weapons, and you can guess what they use them for at night.
  • Jerkass: Typheus takes the description of "a huge dick" given to him in canon and runs with it.
  • Real Life Writes the Plot: Apparantly, Yaldabaoth not being aspect-specific is the reason why he and the other B2 denizens do not make an appearance, as Fan would rather have ones A: confirmed to be tied to aspects and B: in groups of four.
  • Really Gets Around: Implied to be the case for Hephaestus, as Li'l Cal says that he represents the sin of lust.
  • Ridiculously Human Robots: According to concept art, they look entirely organic save for little black lines indicating parts bolted together.
  • Self-Fanservice: [[in-universe]]The animatronics are given human forms. Subverted in that they're incredibly unnerving at least and outright Fan Disservice at worst, especially Echidna.
  • Seven Deadly Sins: Well, about half of them anyway. Typheus is greed (oil obsession = money), Echidna is sloth (putting snow everywhere and wanting to sleep even more than usual), Cetus is gluttony (eating everything, especially fish), and Hephaestus is lust (this one was not elaborated upon, we'll just have to take Cal's word for itnote ).
  • What Do You Mean, It's for Kids?: In-universe. These characters are supposed to be children's attractions. Of course, considering the world's incarnation of Ren and Stimpy, this is easily ignorable.

    Sburbland — Carapase Plushies 

  • Always Chaotic Evil: Unlike the Denizens and Cal, who have some kind of excuse, the plushies admit that they're cruel just for the sake of it.
  • Badass Adorable: They're fierce fighters comparable to the Pikmin themselves, but they take the appearance of small plushes of black or white stick figures, some of them wrapped in bandages.
  • Evil Counterpart: Again, to the Pikmin interns.
  • Irony/Laser-Guided Karma: They pull the same crap on the Pikmin interns as the interns did on Jake back in season three.
  • Killer Rabbit: Easily the most dangerous of the Sburbland lineup despite being adorable little plushes.
  • Shout-Out: As the Denizens are a nod to the animal animatronics, Cal to the Puppet, and Gold Homer to Golden Freddy, these guys are to Sburbland as the plush animals are to Five Nights at Freddy's 2. Except they actually attack. A lot.

    Sburbland — Li'l Cal 

The eponymous puppet in the 8ackstory "the Puppet," and tied to the reason for everything coming to life at night in "the Interns."

  • Bigger Bad: Implied to be the reason for Doc Scratch's coming to existance. Either him or Bill Cipher (or both), depending on which implications are followed.
  • Demonic Dummy: Not to the extent of his canon counterpart, but he's still not the friendliest person the Crew encounters.
  • Woobie, Destroyer of Worlds: He's restrained to be an attraction, barely able to move and get active. Because of this, he becomes a little... desperate, and tries to extend his magic to other characters in the theme park. Sadly, the Carapases are the only ones who try to break him free, and the glass keeping him in is very strong.

    Sburbland — Golden Homer Simpson? 

A strange (metallic) gold-colored Homer Simpson mask-head flying around. It seems to serve no purpose other than to reference Golden Freddy. Even Cal wasn't aware of it.

    Aleucard Badguy 

One of the three major threats the ancestors had to face in "The Puppet," shortly before the time travel arrival of the second generation. He's an alcoholic, fowl-mouthed clone of Alucard.

    The Blood Breaker 

A faux-pro wrestler that actually works under an HRG. He's the next threat the ancestors encounter in "The Puppet," before a quick prequel match with Li'l Cal himself.

    Shadow Hourglass 

An entity that is the main focus of the 8ackstory "The Split." Hank challenged the Rainbow Crew to go into its tomb and defeat it in order to re-earn his trust, as knowingly creating an entirely new timeline pissed him off.

As the 8ackstory title implies, this has only appeared in the seperate timeline so far.

  • Dark Is Evil: Dark purple hour-glass looking thing (at first) filled with only slightly less dark sands.
  • Eldritch Abomination: A lot of it is unexplained and it demonstrates very strange, space-warping abilities while the Crew's fighting it.


The Jury & Associates





Sonic the Hedgehog

  • Back for the Finale: After disappearing after the whole jury incident is solved, he's among the many that is invited to the party in chapter 24, and he sticks around a little at the beginning of chapter 25.
  • Cloudcuckoolander: Shows shades of this in both fan fics.
  • Doomed by Canon: At the very least, the final chapter of Hecksing Ulumate Crconikals means that he won't be involved with the finale of Housestuck. And yes, he's killed within the final season.
  • Exact Words: All the epilogue of Hecksing said was that he died, and does not elaborate further. Since this only means that he's dead by 2041 and didn't die at 2041, it means that he could die somewhere after his last appearance in HUC. And, true to the word, he dies within the events of Housestuck Hurrcain Crconikals saving Jane.
  • Heroic Sacrifice: Invokes this when trying to save Jane from a Vitamin Scratch-powered laser blast by freeing her from being pinned to the wall by what is basically a giant boomerang. He saves her, and true to the trope the laser blast kills him off for real. Had a 50/50 chance of being a Stupid Sacrifice given that Scratch was going to kill either Jane or Jade, whichever one John doesn't pick to save, and no matter what he (Sonic) would have chosen Jane.
  • Killed Off for Real
  • Took a Level in Dumbass: He's considerably dumber in this story than his canonical self, as hinted at back in Hecksing where he fails to recognize the unmistakenly female incarnation of Rip as a woman until she tells him.


See the villains page, as he spends most of his time in the story with an antagonistic role.




    Mega Man 


  • Troll: Mainly to Rose, but he generally does things that annoy the Crew and constantly points out things he could do that will definitely annoy them. At one point this backfires, where he makes a quick appearance in chapter 20 to tell the Crew that he could easily teleport them out of the dome they were trapped in yet wouldn't... when they not only had a functional teleporter, but also someone else just about to break the dome down.


  • Chekhov's Boomerang: Hoo boy does this guy appear a lot. In fact, he has some role in just about every season except three and maybe one. First, he's only mentioned in a card that Geno gives his future students. Then, he trains them and presumably makes them become more badass (though it becomes clear later on that they were already rather competant, especially when they're forced to go without his swords). Then, he's a jury member. And he also makes a cameo closing a portal to Hell that Homer's ghost manages to escape from. He has a quick cameo in chapters 19 and 23, and he shows up one last time pre-epilogue to get into a conflict with Link in chapter 24. Despite all of this and clearly being the most relevant jury member outside of John and Jade themselves, he's still considered "more of a HUC character."
  • The Grim Reaper: He's a friendlier variant of a reaper, tied heavily to his job though.
  • I Am Not Shazam: In-universe, he is called "Bleach" or "Bleech" on his first appearances. The faux-author corrects this by the time he appears in chapter 14.
  • In Name Only: Fan himself admits that he only really saw the first, and maybe the second long ago, episode of Bleach for the majority. He finally buffed up a bit before season seven, but that was a bit too late.
  • Loophole Abuse: In the Grand Finale of Hecksing, Ichigo's fate is revealed as him still "fighting ghosts." You can still technically fight ghosts even while you are a ghost, right? It doesn't technically say that he doesn't make it through all of HHC and lives up in 2041.


Helpers, Trainers, Etc

    Hank Hill 

"Get ready for the Hank Hill experience! Um, not the dirty kind that was embarassingly named after me. The nerve of some people, I'll tell you what."

Appears as a plant/light-fairy of sorts that formed from shooting Homer Simpson's ghost with a light arrow. He teaches the Crew the Ballad of Duality when in a pinch, creating the counterparts.

He later returns in chapter 20, as his past self would join the second generation in going back in time and end up becoming an Animated Actor of the Crconikals version of King of the Hill. Somewhere waiting from the span from 1993 to 2011, he becomes a lot more uptight and old-fashioned than he was when initially created (closer to his canonical self) and as a result a lot less chummy with the Rainbow Crew. While he keeps the leaf outfit for some bizarre reason, when his older self is summoned by Carl he is one of the few helpers who is not initially friendly with the Crew and rather coldly asks that they do tasks for him to get "Hank Tokens" before they can make deals.

  • The Ageless: He does not physically age. Ever. He starts looking like his canonical self (only nearly nude) and stays that way even after going back to 1993 and moving towards 2011 at the rate of one second per second.
  • Ascended Extra: Has a total of one appearance in the entirety of season five, then vanishes. Returns midway through season six and has four successive appearances after that (though his chapter 22 and 23 appearances are more along the lines of cameoes), ending with a heroic sacrifice on his part.
  • Back for the Finale: His ghost returns to Earth just once, in the final portion of the story.
  • Berserk Button: A lot revealed in Split, but not enough to make him qualify as having Hair-Trigger Temper since he's very calm for most of his appearances.
    • Knowingly splitting the timeline. Despite all the vices Carl has that put Buck Strickland to shame, splitting the timeline is the only known thing someone can do than make him cut the offender off from his services until they fight off some Eldritch Abomination of sorts.
    • Calling him a dryad or especially an "alruane." (According to Potale/Unithorn, he's technically the latter, just don't say it within earshot of him.) He's a fairy, goddamnit. Maybe a plant fairy on a good day. Calling him a Pikmin is completely incorrect but he will hold no ill will towards someone who does.
    • Anything out of Roxy Drunkie or (Dark) Ezekiel Smithy's mouth.
    • Charcoal, naturally. When Dave comes up with a "de-summoning rap" (it just annoys him enough to teleport away, it's not an official repellant chant or anything like that) that consists of "Yo yo yo charcoal and tennis and Canada," he admits that only the "charcoal" part gets him.
  • Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: While genuinely friendly to the Rainbow Crew when first summoned, going back to the past and working on King of the Hill for about thirteen years (depending on how, exactly, the show turned out different) has really clouded his judgement and turned him into the same often-considered Designated Hero as he was in his show. He's far more judgemental about the Crew's lifestyle and even when first arriving at 1993, he mocks their heroism and calls them selfish. Further examplified in Housestuck: The Split, where he's openly misogynist and actively embraces moving backwards.
  • Boring but Practical: His deal system. First, before even making a deal, you have to do some rather mundane chore or work-related task to earn a "Hank Token." You can earn as many as you'd like and eventually pay them off by first completing another task, this one from Hank's magic aid. And Hank either uses magic to try to tap into a more mundane sollution (eg to get a dome from the Troll Empress down, Hank wants Carl to first talk to officialls over the phone and try to single-handedly convince them the Troll Empress is worth the effort to disestablish and imprison/possibly execute her) or he does directly solve the problem yet first requries some kind of obstacle course either before or after by teleporting them to a location where he created a sort of space-building.
  • Came Back Strong: Homer Simpson had no abilities outside of his nuclear waste-given powers and the inexplicable ghost ability to fire a double-death beam. Hank, however, is a powerful light magic plant fire fairy thing.
  • Came Back Wrong: Invoked. Doc Scratch intentionally corrupts him via hijacked Kurloz magic to become the Slender Man. Nepeta sticks with him through several multiverses until they get back to HHC's, then casually takes Caliborn's Electron Beamer to the proper timeline. After gaining a wish, he convinces Nepeta to let him remain dead (mostly by threatening to waste the wish by, regardless, keeping him dead, as they must wish on the same thing for it to work). Inverted compared to Homer Simpson, as Homer was far less mentally stable and more of a jerk than HTS Hank ever was, so turning into Hank was the best thing that could happen to the Crew at the specific moment (where Homer was trying to double-kill them).
  • Camp Straight: A literal fairy, who at times becomes a literal flaming fairy. Makes several... odd expressions and acts like the feminine Great Fairies from the Zelda series. Despite this he's one of the few characters in the Crconikals world who is confirmed to be straight.
  • Chekhov's Gunman:
    • First mentioned in the epilogue of Hecksing Ulumate Crconikals. Becomes a key player in the latter parts of season six here, specifically chapters 20-23 and the beginning of chapter 24.
    • In a pretty large spoiler, he's Plank. Not just the Plank in HHC, but also in Eds' EDventure, Zombie Attack!, and Sweet Jade and Hella John. Some retroactive foreshadowing was done here, as in the original versions of the former two, Plank wasn't even mentioned.
  • Fan Disservice: He has an outfit made entirely out of leaves, not unlike Huntress (only Hank has a lot more leaves). Unlike her, who is implied to be a pretty fit and attractive troll, he's a middle-aged and pretty unattractive man. Who has elements of Hank's personality. (Thankfully not his whole personality.) Second, the deals themselves are said to sound lame, but help the dealer grow and later take down obstacles in the future because they put up with whatever it is Hank did (such as the counterparts, the most blatant example).
  • Fairy Sexy: Averted. Despite being classed as a fairy, he is not sexually appealing at all (In fact, quite the opposite.) and looks exactly like canon's nude Hank Hill, only in leaves.
  • Good Counterpart: To Rip. This is best contrasted with their deal system, which goes to great lengths to make themselves as opposing as possible: Hank puts on a leaf-like glove (or a glove-like leaf?) and shakes the person's hand with a reddish flame, while Rip takes off one of her gloves and has a light azure flame by her hand. Hank requires the person to put some effort that develops them before solving the issue, while Rip is a straighter Deal with the Devil case where she solves the issue (or doesn't thanks to careful wording — you can at least garuntee that Hank's tasks will get you what you ultimately want) in exchange for directly solving the problem by herself and warning that it will inhibit your growth. When it comes up, Hank generates obstacle courses in the forms of smooth, blank (aside from a given color) room collections and trials that are orbiting near the Earth and give windows leading outside, while Rip's "tests" leading to the bet are borderline Lotus-Eater Machines that are detailed and look a lot like life, but really just illusions from her blood. Again, to contrast the windows, Hank's have a clear view outside while Rip constantly taunts the person with ways out or to a larger area yet denying them in some way (to the point where the "window" in Dave's room is simply a flat painting/picture on the wall with a frame around it, enforcing a bit of claustrophobia).
  • Good Is Not Nice: Oh boy, is it not. In Housestuck: The Split, it turns out that all that time spent working on King of the Hill got him to embrace some of its more controversal view points unironically. He becomes a complete dick to Hecksing, the Rainbow Crew, and the Spartan squad of the pettiest of reasons, and forces the first of the three to fight an Eldritch Abomination before they can "earn" his respect thanks to knowingly splitting the timeline.
  • Heroic Sacrifice: Performs one in both Hurrcain Crconikals and in the Split. Respectively, this was destroying a Combat Tentacles-armed "Light Barrier" and drilling down a large army of enemies before going after a black hole. Coincidentally (or not), in both cases its in the sixth chapter he appears in of that respective story.
  • Hypocritical Humour: Does not believe in being brought back to life, except unlike Kamina he takes it to such an extreme that he admits he would try to kill himself if someone else resurrected him. Despite this, he's the reincarnation of Homer Simpson.
  • Immortality Begins at 20: Averted. He's clearly in his forties. At least, physically. Temporally it's complicated depending on how you factor in his life as Homer Simpson and some brief time traveling.
  • Light Is Good: He was formed from light magic, which pretty much makes him good. Though he later becomes something of a dick.
  • Luke, I Am Your Father: Split reveals that he's the ectobiological son of John and Nepeta, just transformed at birth into Homer Simpson.
  • Plant Person: He's part-plant to some extent.
  • Politically Incorrect Villain: Averted. While he becomes very politically incorrect in Housestuck: The Split, he's still consistenty portrayed as a good figure and regularly does heroic actions, which infuriates Porrim to no end (who wishes Hank did something evil so that she wouldn't feel bad for hating him). Though he turns around by the end of chapter 6.
  • Real Men Wear Pink: He is a fairy wearing nothing but leaves and is damn proud of it.
  • Sealed Evil in a Can: Nepeta and a corrupted him both get sealed into Plank. Becomes Sealed Good in a Can after the Hat Goddess purifies him/them, where they use their combined strategies to work through universes across several SBIG installments to get back to their proper timeline. Because of the way Sweet Jade and Hella John works with its universes, this also means that via Many World's Theory there are a ton of evil, corrupted Hanks overtaking Nepetas in the form of their Planks.
  • Shout-Out: To the Great Fairies of Ocarina of Time/Majora's Mask/Hyrule Warriors, although retroactively. Fan did not specifically have parodying the Great Fairy in mind when he came up with the idea of a leaf-wearing Fairy Hank Hill, but went with it anyway.
  • Uncanny Valley: Invoked despite being a heroic character. The comic version and many concept pictures usually draws Homestuck and non-Homestuck characters alike with a stylized, simple look that slightly resembles canon's but with arms, noses, and ears, and slightly more realistically-shaped heads. However, Hank goes overboard, and he's the only character with individual facial lines. There's also littler details like the fact that his nose isn't a simple curve/angle on the face but instead made up of an outline. All-in-all, compare his very simple look from the original Sweet Jade and Hella John to this first picture of his new HHC look, and see the uncanny Art Evolution. It really doesn't help that said latter picture has someone who is normally a Perpetual Frowner like him smiling. The only character drawn with similar "realism" is Carl. The implications of that alone are disturbing.
  • Unusually Uninteresting Sight: Not a single member of the Crew points out that he's just barely not naked, though likely because doing so would be hypocritical. This still does not excuse the townspeople's similar lack of reaction.
  • Younger Than They Look: Believe it or not, he's Literally Born Yesterday when it comes to his "past" self, then after going back to 1993 he's technically only 17. He's The Ageless and both born from the reincarnated soul of an adult and given a lot of knowledge, but still,is his years as Homer aren't counted he's chronologically just a teenager despite being an adult biologically.
  • Zombie Ninja Pirate Robot: Fire-themed light magic plant fairy who sells propane and used to be a Simpsonian. Considering how plants only made a small percentage of the arrow that reincarnated him, he might also have a tiny bit of rock and magic string to him, too.

    The 360/Kamina's Spartan Squad 

[You know, they appeared in Dawn but screw it, just for now I'm putting HHC tropes even though they might be better suited elsewhere.]

A squad of 360 women who work with Kamina/the Master Chief and his time-traveling group as part of the Spartan army. Within HHC, they first make a cameo of chapter 20 through an illusion Rip set up when trapping John, Jade, Rose, Dave, Jane, Jake, Roxy, and Dirk. They were initially in Jake's illusion, and Rip's purpose with them was to distract Jake by fanservice so that he doesn't care enough for leaving and continuing his job as a Rainbow Crew member.

They re-appear in chapter 22, their final and only true appearance before the party-cameo in 24, where they seek out the Rainbow Crew to help them take down Censorbot. (By sending an increasing number of messengers.) More details on Censorbot and his role in the plot can be found in the villains page under the Troll Empress section.

General Tropes/Their Actual Selves

  • Amazing Technicolor Population: Much more technicolor people than the Rainbow Crew.
  • Ambiguously Human: They are still apparantly humans (from the future, if that helps at all) despite having technicolor skin, horns, tails, and retractable wings. And being based off of demon characters from 360 Degree Duck.
  • Amazon Brigade: Aside from Kamina, they are all women. Though each of them has a Spear Counterpart. According to SBIGlets, Simon becomes The One Guy after Kamina's death, as revealed in the epilogue of the little two-part story focused on them (which also takes place in the Crconikals world).
  • Brick Joke: Whenever Real-Red does something Illuso-Red did in the Lotus-Eater Machine Jake experienced, Jake freaks out.
  • Color-Coded Characters: As with their original incarnations and expanding even to names.
  • Fanservice Extra: All of them are used for the usual intentionally crappy fanservice, but not too many of them are important at all to HHC's story, and even the major ones are more-or-less one-off characters. Played straighter with the messengers, who don't have any real role in the story and could have been replaced with the main tricenhexdecuo.
  • Hero of Another Story: Part of Kamina's squad and fights crime across the timeline... yet they still don't have a proper story yet. There is a SBIGlet and it is planned to get a full-blown story sometime in the future... but hasn't so far. Fan even wrote an Expositionary Theme Tune to them (and this specific incarnation to boot).
  • Hotter and Sexier: Compare to 360 Degree Duck, where they are not sexualized at all. The difference is outstanding.
  • One Steve Limit: Averted. They make two Violets and three Roses in HHC alone, the latter thanks to Rose Quartz.
  • Red Is Heroic: As always, the pure red one is coincidentally the leader. She even ranks above Kamina, and is the only one in the squad explicitely stated to do so. (But it's implied that Blue ranks above him as well.)
  • Shameless Fanservice Girl: Their outfits are not as varried as the Rainbow Crew, but on average probably more revealing. They also don't mind charging naked once Censorbot blows away their clothes, as with the entire Crew.
  • Spear Counterpart: Despite not being mentioned in Rip's illusion, male versions of them exist. No direct explanation is currently given, but it's implied that Hank let them have the gender-switching and gender-splitting effects of the Ballad of Duality, possibly without the actual counterparts yet.
  • Stripperiffic: Only when not in missions, where otherwise they go in full Spartan body armor ala the Master Chief. In more private locations and in the nudist colony, they only wear tiny thongs that appear downright invisible from behind. They also occasionally have shirts, but that's on very rare occasions. If forced to, they use star-shaped pasties.

    In their very first (actual) appearance, they are supposedly wearing "Leonidas's New Robes," which are only visible to the honest but are supposed to be neck-to-toe (actually past that) robes. Most of the Rainbow Crew can't see the robes, aside from a surprisingly decent number of counterparts. Eventually they ditch them alltogether.

In Rip's Illusion

  • Flanderization: In-universe. Rip exaggerates their dislike of clothing (which might not even be the reason for them going around mostly-naked), especially bras, to the point where they mention it in every other sentence. You'd think Rip also flanderized the fanservice, but two chapters later when the Crew encounters them they are actually like that, if not worse.
  • Hand or Object Underwear: When Red's thong is destroyed, she uses this trope while conversing with Jake before supposedly getting another one. She uses her hand in most cases, but other roommates return items to her just for another one to borrow it, and she uses these to block the view with her hand in-between, then ends the speech with her tail, which just barely covers the necessary part. When Jake gets a view in chapter 23, he mentions how it was "overhyped."
  • Insane Troll Logic: Red equates nudity in television with nudity in real life, and uses some Double Standard that might not even apply anymore (considering the Ren and Stimpy Show Within a Show'') as a way to "protest" by parading around naked. Though since she was just ultimately Rip screwing with Jake, and Rip is a bit of a troll, this makes sense.
  • Running Gag: Red's habit of telling Jake how she, and of course the rest of them, just hate bras. And pants. And shirts. But mostly bras.
  • Verbal Tic: Red has a tendancy to begin her argumentive statements with "What's wrong?" Her actual self does this once.

Neutral Characters/Other

Chicago Residents

In the United States


Steven Quartz Universe


    Emperor F. 

Standing for "Fuchsia," Emperor F. is a very rarenote  male tyrian-blood who ruled over Alternia (the planet, not the island it is in the present) around the time the Zergizocks attacked. In desperation, he combined the DNA of the ancient fighters/rebel and made the Troll Empress, who would later grow up and comit genocide on the Zergizocks. The man himself would not live to see this: He's the one who established the Imperial Drone system in hopes that it will get him a matespir (or, girlfriend or boyfriend, seeing how often the quadrants are ignored), but this instead got him killed since he failed to provide for the drone. That same drone who killed him would later raise the Troll Empress, and work as her Dragon for at least chapter 19.

  • Hoist by His Own Petard: He's killed by his own law. Even if he survived, he still would have been outranked by the Troll Empress, and there's no telling how she would treat him when she grows up. She's already hostile towards Condesce and Fuchsian.
  • Post Humous Character: Dead long before HHC begins, and possibly before Alucard even gets launched to the UK.

    Distant "Ancestors" 

Not to be confused with the ancestors of the Rainbow Crew, these are instead a band of eleven top-tier fighter trolls and one limeblooded rebel, whose blood had samples taken and then used to make the Troll Empress. Not much was known about them other than that.

  • Expy: They vaguely resemble the canonical ancestors more than HHC's ancestors (with Troll Emrpess being the Condesce stand-in), only much about them isn't elaborated upon except that the limeblood (eventual "cancer") was rebellious. Maybe this is where Signless got his tales from, and it could explain part of Vocalist and Kankri's atittudes?
  • Famous Ancestor: As great-grandparents to the trolls that have been dead for a while, they fit this far more than the ancestors of the Rainbow Crew.
  • Post Humous Character: Even in the flashback 300 years ago that first mentions them, they're all implied to be dead. Yes, possibly even the greenblood.

    Rose (Quartz) 

Has not had a major appearance, but was confirmed to have fought against Alucard and the Troll Empress in the past. This was glimpsed at in chapter 21.

  • Badass: She fended off against Alucard, and the teleporting, nightmare-using, telekinetic, animal-and-people controling Troll Empress, and was implied to fight them both to a stand-still.
  • Hero of Another Story: We don't even see her three-way fight in Hecksing: The Dawn. Fan said this was because he honestly forgot about that plot point. The time travel chapter finally adresses how the fight begins.
  • Posthumous Character: She's dead by 2011, but seen again in chapter 21 thanks to time travel.


Connie Maheswaran

Porrim encounters her in chapter 13, while she's trying to find books to buff up her skills. As this takes place before Steven Universe, it is foregone that she will not meet Steven, although they do come extremely close in the party in chapter 24.

  • Back for the Finale: Even though her introduction and re-appearance in chapter 15 imply that there might be more of her, she completely vanishes for all of season six save for a very small cameo in chapter 22 and doesn't return until the party at the end.



Conker T. Squirrel

Initially appears in a movie John and Damara watched at the beginning of chapter 9, but later has a physical cameo appearance in chapter 16.

    Ren and Stimpy 

Despite also appearing in Hecksing Ulumate Crconikals, they have only half the number of total appearances as they do here.

  • Ax-Crazy: Ren. Similar to his canonical self, except he appears to be enraged almost all the time.
  • Flanderization: The clips get progressively more disturbing and outright as they go along.
  • Long Runners: In-universe, this lasts to the year 2041. The date of its beginning isn't clear, but we see it in 2011.
  • Running Gag: Ren's last name is always mispelled as "Hook." In the space episodes, every single time "Captain Hook" is mentioned, the word Ren is written in parenthesis, as if we forget that every single time.
  • Show Within a Show: Appears in one. Unlike some other examples in HHC like Conker or Peter Griffin (they actually existing yet simply act on the show), this doesn't appear to have a case of Animated Actors.
  • Take That: At Grossout Shows. Despite occasionally dabbing in Toilet Humor and gross things himself (usually in SBIG though), Pikmin Fan generally hates the genre and makes this show, which is what popularized Grossout Shows in the west, as crappy and painful to watch as possible to reflect it. At one point Rose of all people (despite usually being a bit of an Anti-Hero and thus never really fillibusters like this) outright says "Shows are like people: Looks and maturity are nice but that isn't all you should judge them by."
  • Unusually Uninteresting Sight: This is a kid's show. That has uncensored swearing, nudity, all kinds of rather graphic violence by Crconikals standards, and generally disturbing content that only appears to disturb for the sake of being freaky.

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