[In progress I guess? I might not really come back to it.)
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
Berton: You can still call me Bart, but my rank is the general.
Formula-one racing my way through your dream minerals.
I'm an adult! Waaaay more like a man now.
How 'ya gotta try to fight? You can't even leave your house.
King of Duckberg, as surreal as the town gets.
You don't know wheeee-heerenote I am, how I win with my bets!
Like the one that you can't truley think of something as heinous,
As a plane with a SCARY BIG GRIN and a shitting anus!
Madotsuki: I tell worlds of stories from my thoughts, no way someone asnote
WARNING: For anyone interested in this fan comic-adventure, this contains spoilers even after the latest update.
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Recap One (Act One - Intermission Act Three)
[font=comic sans ms] — ACT ONE: THE GATEWAY TO MADNESS — [i]Sweet Jade and Hella John[/i] begins with John Egbert and Jade Harley in the former's house, with him suggesting that they should be Mario and Luigi respectivley. — MARIO INTERMISSION — —- INTERMISSION ACT ONE: WARPING TO THE WARP ZONE —- John and Jade's first action after donning their new Mario costumes (although Jade's, in her default sprite, looks like Homer Simpson with a poorly recolored shirt) is for Jade to uncaptchalouge a large yellow ship. They ride it from the window of John's house, which has been transported into World 1-1, through the window of Hank Hill's house. This makes Hank Hill quite angry and lands him a spot as one of John's (and Jade's) enemies. While still flying through Hank's house, Jade explains the bare basics of the game. Bowser is dead (this wasn't said by Jade but rather stated directly by the narrator), and instead the duo has to fight one "[color=maroon]The Evil[/color]" who has kidnapped [color=magenta]the Princess[/color], and then the [color=magenta]Princess[/color] will give them a [color=blue]kiss[/color] for saving them. Jade also explains that a certain white texted fellow gave her some of this information, and that the reason why they just trashed Hank's house was because they were trying to get to a hidden portal leading to a warp zone in order to skip the game. While flying, a Yoshi egg is sedificated on the ship from an unknown source. John, after a brief vote from the suggestions, rides the Yoshi, while a lonley Jade decides to read her magazine [i]Boobs[/i]. It is around this point that the ship enters the portal, and ends up in a black void leading to an exclusive Warp Zone area. However, the actual trip to the zone from here takes three hours. During this time Jade attempts to cook the egg that the Yoshi watched in and John somehow gets the egg under the ship, setting them both ablaze. John fumbles around his sylladex trying to get out a bucket of water. However, only being able to take out what's on the first card (also the last item put in, meaning his has a First in, Last Out system of FILO), he holds the first item, a laxative, out on his hand. Before he can put it down, Yoshi eats it, and also sets the ship on crap as well. A combination of this and the fire makes it start to lose control. Meanwhile, the three hours have nearly passed, and Jade suffers a nosebleed (also the only time in the comic that blood is colored dark red instead of red; that was due to an error) and flies off the ship. To prevent her magazine from getting destroyed in the fire or from losing it, she captchalogues it, and gets punched by the card due to her modus. This modus in question is said to be very usefull, with some of its skills being demonstrated later on in Intermission Act Four. Jade goes flying off, and John starts to lose control of the ship, but he finally arives at the Warp Zone and must crash the ship somewhere. It is then that the rest of the planets are revealed: [list] [*] World 1: The grass world. [*] World 2: The desert world. [*] World 3: The beach/ocean world. [*] World 4: The sky world. [*] World 5: The cave world. [*] World 6: The forest world. [*] World 7: The ice world. [*] World 8: The lava world. (Mistakenly reffered to as "Hell," even though that's a different location entirley. More of that later.) [/list] —- INTERMISSION ACT TWO: TRECKING THE EIGHT PLANETS —- SPLIT: EVENTS FROM JOHN'S PERSPECTIVE The Yellow Ship crashlands in the ice world. While on the penultimate planet John and Yoshi encounter Nepeta, who had fallen from a prank done by Vriska. The duo quickly adds her to their party. They then meet Dirk, who was playing an immersive Zelda game as John and Jade are playing an emmersive Mario game. Dirk is added to the party as well. While messing around with the options, John deliberatley disobeys an order from Jade and clicks "Check Quarterly Earnings," which triggers a dating minigame between him and the next person in line on the party menu. In this case, Nepeta, as John has combined himself with Yoshi so that he can ride on him, as a way to get around the "only three people can fight at a time" rule. The first stage of the date is interrupted when a creepy baby doll head, soon revealed to be created by Gamzee as per a request from Hank Hill in an attempt of revenge for the window incident, chases them away from the restaurant. They meet another foe in the second part of the date, the movies, when Yoshi's evil twin who was still in the egg when John cooked it, wandered around the planet for revenge. Evil Yoshi was just about to shoot fire breath at the two dating kids when John and Nepeta confess their love, kiss, and end the date. They are then teleported back to the main section of the planet. This fire ignites the threater. Not far into World 7-1 the group of four come across a wereworf (Captain from [i]Hellsing[/i]) with a yellow "9" hat, and John is pestered by one hellishHuntress (HH). HH, who also speaks without typoes, gives John an unusual warning about fighting Captain. After Captain simply leaves to look for a hidden ship with treasure, the group comes across a pit. John and Good Yoshi, whom are still in their "combined" riding formation, attempt to jump over, but it turns out there was an invisible coin block there. John sacrifices Good Yoshi by jumping off of him in order to get to the other end of the pit, only to find out that the pit wasn't that deep. He then trys to get Good Yoshi out by getting a whistle for him to call for help, but it was a warp whistle, which warps Good Yoshi to World 8-4. It is not long after this point that Jade joins them. SPLIT: EVENTS FROM JADE'S PERSPECTIVE Jade lands on Vriska, having landed in Troll Town, an area not a part of the eight other worlds. After calling an ambulance to get Vriska off to the hospital, Jade explores the twelve hives of the trolls hanging out over there. She soon meets Karkat, who tells her that he needs to be in a part of a duel against a trol (a rival race to trolls) named Anger Crabman. It turns out that this duel is one of a Yu-Gi-Oh CCG match, and Karkat hid a powerful card in Nepeta's new hive. They enter the hive, only to find that it's appearantly haunted. They find the card, but are met with a Waterwraith (a creature from the [i]Pikmin[/i] series) with an orange "13" hat. Like John, Jade is also pestered by the mysterious HH. She tells her to run away from the Waterwraith. Her and Karkat do so, and make it outside, albeit still being chased by the creature. Karkat salts the Waterwraith and drinks it to try to stop it. The first doesn't appear to do anything, but the second causes Karkat to pass out and undergo hysteria. Confused, Jade opens a memo, eventually getting advice from Gamzee to try to negate the effects of the Wraterwraith's plasma with some supor slime. This only works long enough to keep Karkat going through the duel match. With this all settled, at least for now, Karkat directs Jade to what he thinks is the pipe leading to World 8-4. Instead, Jade is warped one-way to World 1-1. Infuriated at his mistake, Jade gives a strong hate message to Karkat before quickly navigating to World 7-1 and catching up with John's team. SPLIT: EVENTS FROM OTHER PERSPECITVES Vriska is escorted to a hospital where her Doctor proposes a way to fix her broker legs, but before he can do the operation he is stabbed by Hank Hill. It is then revealed that the Doctor is a member of a mysterious group of corrupt people known as the Millennium. Vriska, strongly dissapointed, leaves the place in a wheelchair only to find Tavros right outside. Vriska then reveals that she made a karma list and wants Tavros to help her fix everything on it. They attempt to do their first item, Vriska paralysing Tavros (the item in question was added onto the list by Tavros himself), by trying to revive the Doctor and get genetic engineering operation on both of them. They attempt to go to World 8 for an extra life to transfer to Doctor, with Vriska not wanting to find a random 1-up in Troll Town because it's too easy, but Vriska's rocket runs out of fuel and lands in World 4. Meanwhile, the Silencer (that baby doll head) comes to life and wanders into the movie theater where Evil Yoshi is at. Before Silencer enters, Hydra of the Millennium enters through the flames and extinguishes them with his sea dwelling blue head. Evil Yoshi evolves into a Charhazard, scaring the Hydra into leaving. This is where the Silencer enters, and uses its powers to create real-life copies of three people in the merged movie that is still playing. (The power is [i]not[/i] directly taking them out of the movie; it's just copying their data.) The three taken out were Homer Simpson, a nude bank robberer who highly resembles Problem Sleuth, and an equally nude ghost woman that's said to be immortal. These five band up to form a team with one common goal; attacking John and Jade. Gamzee and Aradia start up a double date with Terezi and Feferi, but it comes to a quick halt after the two "Ed turkey ala-kings" were really naked Eds. Also, Hank questions as to whether or not the waiter is Walter, another of the Millennium, in disguise. It turns out that he is really the Ice King, who flies over to World 8-4 to try to kidnap [color=magenta]the Princess[/color]. He fails, getting stabbed by a crystal shard from the Crystal King, one of [color=maroon]The Evil[/color]'s forces. THE FOX CREW The Fow Crew consits of [color=red]Hank Hill[/color], [color=olive]Cleveland Brown[/color], [color=green]Peter Griffin[/color], and [color=navy]Stan Smith[/color]. As I said before, their enemies are the Millennium, who want to "take over all the politics and economy." They consit of: [list] [*] Luke Valentine (1): Vampire, the self-proclaimed fancy expert with super speed and knive abilities. [*] Jan Valentine (2): Vampire, a totally batshit asshole who can fire "fuck you beams." [*] Tubalcain "Dandy" "Card Guy" Alhambra (3): Vampire, he basically uses razor sharp cards. [*] Schrodinger (4): A catboy that uses wierd quantum shit powers. [*] Zorin Blitz (5): Vampire, a sadist who's able to create illusions. [*] Walter C. Dornez (6): An expert in combat, uses razor sharp wires. Also is adept at disguises. [*] Doctor (7): Mad scientist. The only one killed before the hitlist reveal. [*] hellishHuntress/???? (8): In the first reveal of the Fox Crew's hitlist, the only implication that there's an "8" member is that there's a space between 7 and 9. However, two conversations reveal that HH, John and Jade's myterious patron guide, is a part of the Millennium, and is member #8. [*] Lucky "Captain" Failington (9): Werewolf, the self-proclaimed super natural trumpcard and "good fighter." In contrast to his canon persona, he's extremely talkative and emotional. [*] Janitor (10): The former leader/Major of the team before some unknown event demotes him to the bottom rank. [*] Eric Cartman (11): A moron, but at the same time an evil genius. Also the first person on this list who's not from [i]Hellsing[/i]. [*] Hydra (12): An expert dragon fighter with, as his name implies, three heads. Each head has a different specialty: the blue head can allow the entire dragon to breathe under water, and it alone can shoot out water; the green head shoots poison, flammable gas and can enable the entire dragon to survive extreme heat; and the yellow head (the unofficial "leader" of the three) can shoot out flaming rocks and enable the entire dragon to both turn into a statue and use fire as a gateway through space. [*] Waterwraith (13): A ghost-like plasma/water thing that can only be harmed by very specific materials. [*] Death Mecha (14): A huge robot specifically crafted to kill the Fox Crew. Arguably the real trump card of the team. [*] Darkhorse (15): A half horse, half skeleton monster being. He's cool, at least according to Hank. He's the only one Hank Hill doesn't mind spareing in his Millennium killing spree. [*] ???? (Cue Ball): Very little is known about the cue ball member even from Rip's conversations, much less at the reveal of the hit list. While there is a White Text Guy, the only hint that there is specifically a cue ball member is HH stating that there is a cue ball member who is the second in command of the Millennium. [*] Lord Major Quimby. Not much is known about him as of the hitlist reveal other than that he's "corrupt." [/list] Peter is stationed in World 2. He quickly finds Cartman, who insults him, and then spots Luke running around with his super speed, trailing up a bunch of dust in the desert sand. Peter trips Luke and sends him falling on Cartman. He then shoots them both, but soon after gets blasted by Jan's fuck you beams. Cleveland is in World 5. He, against orders, is playing a game of strip poker against Card Guy. He cuts himself on a card, and thinking it's a trap, he prepares for attack, only to make out with him instead. Zorin notices this and sends Cleveland into an illusion. Cleveland flips the hell out but manages to grab hold of Zorin's scythe, cutting her in half. He is then shot to death by the Janitor, who takes this entire incident as an oppertunity to get a promotion by both eliminating one of the enemy and by killing a traitor. Only have of this applies as Card Guy shortly after cuts Janitor with a card. Stan is inside the yellow ship that crashed in World 7. The Captain is there as well, searching for a ship filled with gold. (It turns out he went into the wrong ship.) Unfortunatly for Stan, he didn't bring silver, so his attacks against the Captain were useless. Schrodinger notices this and flips his coin, summoning the Death Mecha. The Death Mecha kills Stan, but carlessly kills the Captain as well. #8 finally makes an appearance by shooting Death Mecha repeatedly with the same bullet in an act of vengance for the Captain. It is then revealed that #8 is a woman by the name of Rip Van Winkle. JOHN AND JADE'S MEETUP To celebrate first meeting in World 7, John proposes that his team would act as Santa. They deliver a present — through John — to a penguin inside a house, who gladly takes the present and gives him an extra life as thanks. However, once John leaves the house, he is blown up by missles fired by Robosanta, the one of the game's extra bosses. Unknowing of the extra life, Jade picks up John's dead body and finds another random 1-up around the tundra planet (finding 1-ups, in any planet, is by no means a difficult ask) and chucks his body in it. However, the life he got from before started recreating a body for him with his original soul, this body still back with Nepeta and Dirk. The body with Jade comes back to life as well, but in a newly created soul. So, one John (the one by Nepeta and Dirk) has the original body but a different soul, and the other (the one by Jade) has the same soul but a different body. The one by Jade then eats a nearby fire flower, making him FIRE John Egbert/FIRE Mario Egbert and thus making it easier to tell the two apart. Getting around the only-three-party-members-can-fight rule, John, Jade, and FIRE John form a tower, thus being counted as one person. FIRE John, the one on top, creates a huge fire ball, and the tower uses a special drill move to one-shot Robosanta. Rip then appears to congradulate them and explains what happened after the Captain died: she transfered an extra life to him while the Hydra broke into the yellow ship to visit them. It is also explained that Captain touched up the ship, repaired all the burn marks, and got rid of all the Yoshi crap in it. Rip had then suggested Captain to move the ship down a giant warp pipe and into Troll Town. The Mario team goes around Worlds 7 and 8 without much trouble. 7-4 was lacking a boss fight by the time they got there because Crystal King was by 8-4 at the time. Once they reach the entrance to 8-4, the group encounters Jane and Jake as Wario and Waluigi (written as "Γuigi") respectivley. Jane is John's "evil twin" and Jake is Jade's. John tries to fight Jane into the final castle, but it turns out that Jane was at a far higher level, since they have been training and fighting a lot during the three hours that John and Jade were on the ship. Seeking refuge, the group decides to sleep at an inn that's right becides the enemy's main fortress. While there, and after everyone else went to sleep, it occurs to Dirk that he did not get any rupees/rubys. He uses the Jackpack of Progress — the item used to advance from one world to another, each getting better than the last — from World 7 in order to fly back to World 5 to find them. However, it was late, so he falls asleep. John dreams that a cerulean blooded Nepeta guides him into retracing his steps in order for him to learn something important. What follows is mostly a mini recap of the story up to that point from John's perspective. Oh yeah, and it turns out that it's FIRE John, not normal John, and that there actually is a cerulean blooded Nepeta, plus one Nepeta for each of the twelve possible troll blood colors and Karkat's mutaint blood. Cerulean Nepeta had not been informed by Yellow Nepeta that they were entering the dreams of the FIRE John, so they argue for a bit until Maroon Nepeta (who appears to be half ghost) mediates and calms them down. FIRE John is eventually guided to a strong steal door. He wakes up and then goes to it, getting ready to burn it down... SWEET TROLLS AND HELLA MORE TROLLS Surprize! The penultimate arc of this intermission act will instead focus on the trolls. Kanaya, Eridan, Sollux, and Equius (thought to be the last unseen A2 trolls) were dicking around in the former's house when she notices that Karkat's duel match to settle the dispute between the trolls and trols has already started. They head over there, finding that they make the only audience since nobody else could come there because Troll Town had been moved into the Mario session, where none of the trolls or trols bothered to figure out where it was. (It's accessed through a warp from John's house, or rather where it used to be.) In the middle of the match, we see Jade's heated conversation with Karkat, as well as a pesterlog involving a chartreuse texted person who goes by the trolltag chartreuseGenes. Karkat wins the duel, and Anger leaves the story permanently. However, the sopor slime wears off on him and the Waterwraith he previously drank proceeds to possess him. Waterwraith then leaves to get his hat, while the four trolls hide in the yellow ship, having being warped there from World 7 thanks to the Captain. Meanwhile, Terezi, Feferi, Gamzee, and Aradia are still in the middle of their dating thing with the naked Eds. Terezi takes on how there's two beings that look exactly alike, with them revealing that they are really terminators sent by an unknown source. The terminators cause them to do a 2x kiss combo to warp out of the dating minigame (taking advantage of the game's mechanics), and they hide in the same ship. It is not long before they encounter the first group. Waterwraith finds all eight of the trolls, but Captain, who had still been in the ship, tells him not to kill any of the trolls since it's against Millennium code, and commands him to unpossess Karkat. After that happens, Hank Hill finds the ship and enters it, and then transfers an extra life over to Stan's dead body, which is still in the ship. A chain of opinions leads to the trolls wanting to go over to 8-4 for various reasons, so Sollux, who was the exception to this, leaves the ship and uses his powers to push it over to the direction of the final stage. Early on the ride, Karkat gets trolled twice. Once is by Sollux, saying the ride will take ten hours. The other is by the Other CG, who says that she's coming after him. Also, Stan and Hank encounter the terminators, but Stan manages to reprogram them onto his side. Out of frustration, Karkat gets into a rather heated argument with Equius about Other CG, prompting to Terezi and Feferi trying to set up a mediation using Gamzee. Back on World 4, Tavros stops Vriska's lusis (which is considerably smaller compared to in canon) from eating trolls by making her a vegitarian. Him and Vriska then rest at an inn, and find themselves both able to walk again. Vriska tries to use this in order to pull off some sort of glitch, sending her into the yellow ship, where Other CG is briefly shown once more, debating over something with Karkat and Terezi. She lands by the bedroom, hitting a then-sleeping Kanaya in the face and later getting exposited on by her. Other CG turns out to be a troll who's blood color is in the slot between Nepeta and Sollux, a color that has not been elaborated on in canon as of the time of the writting. Her name is Elitaa Sinois, and she is an equal bloodrights activist who for some reason looks like the troll version of some unholy hybrid of John and Jade. She checks on what the trolls are doing. Aradia was in the middle of trying to keep Gamzee from going sober, Equius was starting to flip the fuck out about the missing Nepeta case, and Karkat, Terezi, Eridan, and Feferi were discussing about racism. Elitaa joined in, but that conversation was almost completely unimportant so I won't go into detail about it. It ends in Eridan trying to duel Terezi over Feferi, but then Feferi slaps him. Karkat, Terezi, and Elitaa also agree to debate over wether or not Troll Town should have a representitive for Karkat's mutaint cast, or one of Elitaa's. Back in the present, Tavros has even worse luck than Vriska. He lands in World 3 instead of the yellow ship or troll town, and uses his commune powers on the boss of the world, the Lurker Shark. He rips the wings off of a paratroopa and puts them on the shark, which is amphibious, allowing him to fly using the shark. While messing around, he finds Indigo Nepeta, who leads him over to a pipe which is supposed to go to 8-4. Vriska explains her karma list to everyone and tries to help with a triple date. The people dating in question are the two couples from before, having never gotten an uninterrupted date before, and Equius and Karkat, since Gamzee was appearantly such a good mediator that he got them to be matesprits. With Vriska trying to help and Kanaya asleep at first, Eridan leaves the party and chats with the Tyrian Nepeta. This talk mentiones something about a "[color=lime]kickass reward[/color]." Elitaa finds him by the entrance to the bottom area, which has been blocked off by Karkat while Hank and Stan are fighting the Millennium. Feeling brave and a little idiotic, the two trolls barge in to try to make themselves be more heroic. However, they are greeting by the two members of the Fox Crew, with Hank grabbing them by the shirt/cape to try to prevent them from getting killed. CONCLUSION Jane and Jake had wandered into World 8-3's inn nearby World 8-4, not knowing that John, Jade, and Nepeta are sleeping there. While Jake's dream is completely unimportant, Jane dreams that she's about to kiss Jake, but gets a swift kick in the ovaries by John, who was dreaming that his "inner female self" was trying to hit on him. This is because John, in his dream, attempts to kick his IFS, but in reality kicks Jane instead. Aware that the two are away from 8-4's entrance, the three heroes run over to the entrance only to find it blocked by Walter. Almost at the point of giving up, John turns to Morshu, who tells him that he can Jade can get into the castle another way through an "inward journey." He does so by setting up portals which link into the kids' respective rooms that they need to go into. In John's room, he finds a nothing in it but as bottle of Gatorade (as well as two doors, one locked and one blocked, and a floor door with a heavy bust on it). Jade's room at first has the same layout. John then drinks the Gatorade and passes out. —- INTERMISSION INTERMISSION: SHITTING ON SHIPPING —- This at first appears to be a completely seperate story. John Egbert is stranded on an island. Shortly after the intermission begins, he is saved by Tavris (Tavros and Vriska "fuse combined" together), which upsets the Auto Responder (also making the Intermission Intermission as what is currently AR's only appearance, since he has yet to be in the actually story itself), who tries to sabataoge the rescue. Dave disagrees with AR's action, and attempts to destroy the shades he's using. Firing his ship's cannons, Dave misses, and the splashes in the water get the attention of Rose, Roxy, Karkat, Terezi, and Jade. AR sends out Brobot to stop this rescue, but it hits Jake's space ship along the way, falling into the ocean and getting destroyed by sharks. Also, Aradia was drowning, and had to be saved by Gamzee on his lusis. Slowly, people start getting on the ship Tavros and Vriska were on (the SS Sprite): Terezi, Jane, Jake, Karkat, Jade, and later Rose and Roxy, and shortly after is where this gets interesting. The shades fire a lazer at Terezi, knocking her out for a few miniutes. She had been in a memo at this time and was accusing Vriska of being the villain, and to cement it Vriska took her computer while she was unconcious and did what could be described as a mild threat. Terezi, fully convinced that she is up to no good, tries to assault her. She succeeds until Vriska and Tavros manage to tie her up temporarly. Soon afterwards, Terezi breaks free and cuts the two trolls in half with her cane while everyone else is distracted, kicking off the murders. Meanwhile, Dave tries to fire a net at the shades during his combat against Auto Responder. He missess and instead it hits Gamzee, knocking him off into the water and leading to him getting eaten by a shark just as with Brobot. Pissed, Aradia gets on Dave's ship (The SS Slasher) and begins haunting him with the ghosts of the three recently dead trolls. In a panic, Dave goes to the SS Sprite. Also, Karkat tries to kill Terezi [i]Of Mice and Men[/i] style, but Terezi doesn't take the bluff and cuts Karkat as well. Kanaya, who had arrived on the Sprite, witnessess this and tries to fight her, but before she can Terezi is offed by Elitaa's weapon. The weapon in question revealed to be flammable pesticides, ignited by her fire powers. Aradia uses Karkat's ghost to kill Dave. Rose gets particularly pissed off and stabs Aradia in the chest with her needles. Jade, getting worried at all the kills, convinces John to go back to her ship — the yellow ship — using the ship Kanaya was on (which resembles a large copy of [i]Ed, Edd n Eddy: The Mis-Edventures[/i]) to show him something. Also, Sollux sees Rose killing his friend Aradia out of context and kills Rose for it. Feferi's there too. Eridan climbs aboard the SS Sprite too and challenges Sollux to a duel, and unlike in IA 2, he kills his opponent. John and Jade get on the yellow ship to find Equius. After telling him the news of Aradia's death, he storms off to the SS Sprite. It is also revealed that Jade wanted to show John a nuke. Clearly distressed, John has to be calmed by Jade telling him that the nuke is only being used as a threat, and it isn't planned to be launched any time soon. They get back, Jade threatens everyone not to kill another person, but then Equius punches Eridan's head off since he wasn't really listening to what they were saying. Jade, at first, decides not to nuke them, but then Eridan's head lands on the launch button and the nuke fires anyway. The shades goes back to the Strider house and they pick up Dirk, who meets the others by the SS Sprite just before the nuke lands on the ship, meaning that Dirk dies too along with the rest of the people there. The blast raduis also wipes out the A1 trolls, who in this fan fic are reffered to as "good twin" trolls, even though usual troll life doesn't involve siblings. Also, Nepeta, who had been observing this for some time, sheds a tear of shipping liquid sorrow at the deaths, and swears to try to get herself involved as much as possible from now on. Too bad she was also in the blast radius, killing her off as well and finishing the chain of deaths. After the explosion, it is then shown that the events of this intermission were all just a fan fiction... by Spongebob Squarepants. In shades. Whom appears to be in somewhere with a golden background. And with who seems to be Drew Pickles with a cue ball hat. —- INTERMISSION ACT THREE: THE LOCKED DOORS OF SELF —- THE INWARD JOURNEY ITSELF (PLUS WHAT'S HAPPENING WITH FIRE JOHN) A young lady known as Jean Egbert wakes up in a room which looks like the room John was in, only lighter in color and without the floor opening. She unlocks the door leading into the backhallway, contacts Jade, explains that drinking the gatorade is supposed to lead to the creation of an opposite sex counterpart that will help them leave the area and thus complete their "inward journey." The counterparts also have a duplicate of the original's sylladex. Since these counterparts do have knowledge of the inward journey area. Also, Spongebob Squarepants contacts her and sends her both the contents of the Shipping Intermission and a fan fic pairing off John with Jade. (The latter of which is something Spongebob always does when he contacts John, Jean, or even Jade.) Jean enters John's room and wakes him up by dancing on him. Meanwhile, John has a dream where he relives this scene of him and Jade sightseeing on the top of her house, and a rock surrounded by mysterious green energy crashlands into Hank's house. This turned out to be a rock with a carved message to John suggesting he should practace using dream self powers, given by one "Jude Harley." Jade did not known of Jude. Once again, the dream is interrupted when John's IFS returns. But before a showdown could begin, John is waken when Jean kicks him. A misunderstanding with John thinking Jean was his IFS somehow transferred into the real world ensues, with Jean getting kicked in the groin as well. Also, Good Yoshi was just outside the doors, finally marking his reappearance. Jean explains to John about the inward journey, and that the first thing they must do is go into the basement area (found by pushing the Mario statue and opening the bottom door). Inside, they find ectobiology equipment, but Jean insists that it's not supposed to be there. FIRE John also came accross an ectobiology station in the hidden door. He encounters Indigo Nepeta, who takes out a cartrige that contains samples of every troll's blood color except the original Nepeta's. She then plugs it into a machine and John slimifies the original Nepeta, except that the monitor shows her in a cave, where she's appearantly not supposed to be in. John slimifies what's on the four monitors without really knowing what he's doing: Homer Simpson (from the data extracted from the theater by Silencer), a plant that looks like a cue stick, she disc of [i]Ed, Edd n Eddy: The Mis-Edventures[/i] that Jade gave him as a gift, and Alucard. (Some dude that's also from [i]Hellsing[/i].) This creates Lord Major Quimby, fulfilling a time loop, that - as Rip and Schrodinger explain - will erase the universe from existance if the loop isn't complete, which would also erase any and all spirits in the afterlife or another universe that were from the "unstable" instance. It is also revealed that instead of having that Genesis Frog stuff in [i]Homestuck[/i], SJAHJ opperates on something similar to the many worlds theory, with every universe sharing an afterlife. We then cut back for a brief moment as Jade's counterpart, Jude, is created. He wakes her up, they get into some dumb argument about double standards, and they move the statue. Unlike in John's room, behind the door was a switch, which flipped over one of the walls to reveal a lock. The two decide to go towards the basement area. Also, Jean captchalogues a key within the basement. Lord Major Quimby startles the four kids for a bit, but then Jade and Jude vacuum him up. On the way to Jade's room, Jane pesters John noting that she is in some predicament where she and Jake are stuck in their inward journey rooms. John suggests a memo, where Jake further elaborates: he shot Walter because he and Jane came to the realisation that the Millennium are using the Mario session for some bizzare evil plan. It is here that the kids have formed a truce with their "evil twins" within the Mario session. FIRE John joins in on this memo later on. John from a point in time after the Mario Intermission comes in as well, and trolls his past self, his past FIRE self, and Jean, until Jade comes in from the same point in time bans him and slaps him. Also, a Marge Simpson rap was involved. Jane is eventually convinced to drink her quest gatorate. Her counterpart logs in onto the memo from thirty minutes later and is freaking out, until Jude calms him down. Within Jade's room, the key Jean got is then used to unlock the wall panel, revealing a secret area with half of a flute. Jean captchalogues this as well. (Somehow not causing the bucket to fly out since she already had four items including the key which was still there; I don't know, she combined the key with the flute half?) They look through a grate and see the group of five from the movie theater. After being explained to the Haunted Monster Curser Chick, Jade and Jude look up how to defeat her by watching the original, unaltered-by-John movie. It turns out that only the bible can harm her. They then go back through the basement area, and punch Jane's Mario statue from below, causing it to fly up to the ceiling and break. Then they wake her up instead of letting her counterpart do it, at a poor attempt at sequence breaking. Jane's counterpart is Joan, whom has some really fucking messy hair. As seen from the memo, he spends the next ~thirty minutes flipping out until he joins the memo in rage and Jude calms him down. During this time, John, Jade, Jean, Jude, and Jane all wait until this happens. Joan enters the room and gets along with Jane at first glance, something that did not happen with either John or Jade and their respective counterparts. They then enter the hall to see Jake and his counterpart. Everything's going fine until Quimby bursts out, but Jade and Jude open fire at him with their guns. Unlike one of his ectobiological fathers but like the other, Quimby pussys out of the fight and time/space travels away, hoping to return once he's ready. John, Jean, Jane, and Joan have entered the room that Jake's counterpart was supposed to be in, noting that it was unlocked, and that said counterpart must have already been made at some point. On their way to catch up, Jade and Jude are cheered by uranianUmbra. their conversation reveals that UU (and uu) aren't cherubs in this universe, but Simpsonians. UU is named Edith Quimby in this universe, and uu is named Edmund. Edith, being the exposition fairy she is, tells Jade that from the point where she opened fire on Quimby onward, they are now targets of the Millennium, and that Quimby is looking towards slowly and legally taking over the world so that he can change the laws. Meanwhile, Jane enters Jake's room to see him kicking his counterpart in the groin. (This now means that Jade is the only girl out of the plumber players to not get hit there, and technically/by memory Joan is the only guy who has.) We then cut back to Jake's counterpart, who is Jaka. Jaka, unlike the other counterparts, is actually pleased with her new body at first. She checks out the back hall, explaining why the door was unlocked, and then wakes up Jake. Jake appearantly had a dream similar to John's and thought that Jaka was his inner female self, explaining that kick. With the cast rounded out, the group of eight enter the side area by Jake's room, where the other flute half is found. Jean plays it, causing a bonus boss that is some monster made out of money to appear. This monster breathes molten gold at what's keeping them trapped in the room - Ben Stiller busts - allowing them to escape. Oh, and Tavros was there. OTHER OCCURANCES OUTSIDE OF THE CHARACTER SELECT ARC The white text guy reveals himself as Omega Drew Pickles, a near-omniscient liquid metal robot man who gets out of the court case he was in by killing the judge, whom was appearantly corrupt. Also, when he was seen in the end of the Intermission Intermission, that was him further in the past than this flashback of sorts. Every troll (barring Tavros, who is somewhere within 8-4; Sollux, who is still in Troll Town to presumably work on something with Dave; and the good twins, who's whereabouts are still unknown) is still standing in front of 8-4 when the group of five at the theater arrive there. They have revealed to name themselves the "Revenge Five," in spite of only two of them being motivated by revenge. Curser Woman kills Morshu by phykickly cutting him in two, and Silencer puts a barrier over the trolls. Dirk gets a rude awakening from Mimi (from [i]Super Paper Mario[/i]). Before she can aggriviate him, Jack (the Jack in the Box spokesperson, not Jack Noir) comes in and tells her that The Evil called for all seven world bossess to meet up. Dirk leaves by equiping an ATV mask (since he's Link, Dirk's masks function like masks from [i]Majora's Mask[/i]). It is also revealed that World 5 is only half cave; the other half is a mountain area, like World 6 from [i]New Super Mario Bros[/i] or its sequel. Shortly after Jaka is made and gets kicked in the groin, a Green Dream Dave and Sollux are seen observing the incident like creeps. Dave then gets a message from Aranea (who now goes by the trolltag of internetExplorer instead of a currently unrevealed AG), saying that her and the other good twin trolls have found a possibility in making a weakness for killing Rip. Dave is notably surprised that Aranea is able to directly troll a dreamself, since all of Dave's prior conversations involve him using his dream powers to hack into pesterchum or trollian. Also, Aranea accidentally hits on Dave, with him commenting that everyone loves him. Everyone. INWARD JOURNEY BOSS FIGHT The boss prooves to be a pain. Jane and Joan kill it be revealing their secret weapon: A red feather that can mechanically transform into the powerful, legendary Crocker Blade. Jane uses this to one-shot-kill the boss. Just after, Dirk breaks through in his motorcycle form and offers everyone a ride. Tavros, who still has the Lurker Shark on his side, offers the girls a lift, whereas all of the boys except Jake tower on Motor-Dirk, and Jake himself rides on Good Yoshi. CHARACTER SELECT ARC In "Red Hell," the ghosts of Robosanta and the Ice King are trying to freeze the place over. They are about to get attacked by an expositing demon before Maroon Nepeta reveals herself. The ghosts, along with Bowser's ghost, are sucked into her, as it turns out that she acts as a portal, and she had transfered half of her life to her ghost, giving her two half-alive bodies, one being in the living world and the other roaming the Four Hells. Plus the afterlife waiting room. In the overworld, the other body of the Maroon Nepeta, plus Yellow and Cerulean Nepetas, fly off into the castle and say they need to capture the ghosts in bottles as part of a plan. Back with FIRE John, he sees the creation of the twelve Nepeta clones (not including the original Nepeta but including Karkat's mutaint color) and thinks they're just bugs, having a poor knowledge of troll biology. He attempts to step on them before getting hit in the head by Teal Nepeta wielding a freaking piano. Her and the indigo clone tell FIRE John that he needs to protect them to get them to something called a quantum scatterer, a device that can send things all around space and time. Also, Rose comes out from a hole in the ground, very beaten up. It turns out that FIRE John's fire powers gave him enough confidence to talk to Rose without fainting, so he asks her to help him take the wiggler Nepeta clones. She agrees and tells everyone that in two hours, familiars will overrun the place. Also, it turns out that the Yoshi egg came from Indigo Nepeta sendificating the egg from the hidden lab. In a flashback on the yellow ship, Hank Hill takes out Waterwraith and Jan using the power of Purple Pikmin. Thinking he can handle himself, he sends Stan out on a mission to take the ship's escape pod over to World 2 and bring Peter back to life. He does so, only for Cartman — who had been riding along with him — to pop out and kill them both. Before their spirits have a chance to escape, he bottles them and takes them to World 2-4; a pyramid. The boss of the World, a stone gollem, is knocked out [i]Dexter[/i] style by Brown Nepeta, who drags it off so that it's unseen by Cartman. The reason for this is currently unknown. Cartman hooks up the bottles to the planet's Jetpack of Progress, and uses the sheer power to blast the pyramid over to World 7. It's going neck-and-neck with the yellow ship when the Navy Blooded Nepeta clone is blown out of the ship and onto the structure, telling Brown Nepeta of what happened along the way. Once he gets there, Cartman goes into the house in 7-2 and punches the penguin with the present. Rip asks him to give her the present, since that was at one point an order she gave him, but he refuses. Equius punches the ground below them, creating a large hole that extends past the bubble Silencer put the gang in, ending with all eleven of the trolls in a cave system underneath the area. Kanaya gives a recap that continues from Sweet TROLLS and Hella MORE TROLLS: Vriska was supporting the triple date and Karkat's debate with Elitaa ended with Elitaa promising to search for the troll empress in order to get her own house in Troll Town. Eridan and Elitaa earned their spots on Hank Hill's revenge list by blowing up the two terminators, which also blew the Navy Blooded Nepeta outside of the ship and onto a flying pyramid. We'll get to the pyramid in question later. Also Purple Nepeta was there too, and revealed the group to be the creators of the terminators. Then, Roxy dives into the pit from the hell out of nowhere and says that she will show the trolls a secret passage into the castle once John's team arrives. She also gives the same warning as Rose in that the planet will be flooded with familiars in two hours. CONCLUSION Tavros and girls are about to ride the Shark over towards where the other trolls are, with Tavros being dropped off and the rest are planned to continue forth in 8-4, but the commune connection thingy is severed. The orange shark drops all five of them down the pit, and then flys off to The Evil's tower as part of his requests to have all seven of the world bossess joining him. Jade sees Karkat and immedatly tries to beat the shit out of him. While Jean and Jaka are trying to restrain Jade after that, Jane contacts the boys and requests that they go down the hole to rescue everybody. Dirk trips on his way down, losing his rare ATV mask (it gets stuck on a small ledge), and him and the three on him get stuck in the pit as well. Jude also tries to beat the shit out of Karkat. Good Yoshi decides that he'd rather not drop in a pit again, so he kicks Jake into it. After this is all settled, Roxy uncovers a door which is supposed to lead into the castle, as she promised. Also, Jane and Jake are undergoing difficulties in their relationship due to the inclusion of their counterparts. Since Jane and Joan only like guys and Jake and Jaka only like girls, it doesn't perfectly work out at first. Then Joan starts dating Dirk and Jaka starts dating Roxy. Sloppy makeouts ensue... for a short while. Joan and Jaka then just shove the other two off and have a four-way makeout session. Trying to forget this, Roxy reminds everyone of the secret door. It turns out that the door leads to a section of 8-4. Also, Spongebob is appearantly on Prospit's moon. Which has blood all over it. END OF INTERMISSION ACT 3. ...NOT! Rip breaks into the house, releasing one seal and shifting her appearance to be more monsterous. This scares Cartman enough to fire his two pistols at her, allowing her to pull the self-defense card and kill him. To make sure another 1-up incident doesn't happen, she eats him and absorbs him into her, thus making him a familiar. She then reaches into the present to find what appears to be two chaos emeralds. The Green Dream Dave enters the house and tries to fight Rip, but she instead lifts a coffin and opens it. What's inside has yet to be shown, but it causes Dave to absolutley flip the fuck out. The act ends with his shocked expression, which is also the first JPEG I have used in the entire adventure, with many, many more to come later. And then I started typing up a recap for this crap. And wow, is it long. [/font]
Recap Two (Intermission Act Four - Intermission Intermission 2)
—- INTERMISSION ACT FOUR: SEIGE ON THE EVIL'S CASTLE —- SWEET ROSE AND HELLA DAVE Dave's fangirl invasion and whatever Rose and Roxy were doing in finally elaborated here. Roxy, as it turns out, had stolen the tank from Dave's mansion, and used it to blow a hole in the living room of her house. Rose barley manages to avoid getting hit. It turns out that there was a treasure map inside the wall, which Roxy uses to find some treasure chest. She takes Rose along on a mission with her too. To get the key for the chest, the two are mauled by a dog but survive, with the same injuries we see them with later. They make it to the treasure chest, more porn magazine jokes ensue, and they open it to find a green chaos emerald. Roxy then catches sight of Dave floating to them. Also, it's revealed that the Lalondes are black in this comic. From Dave's perspective, he decides to check something out, so he goes to sleep, makes a dreamself, the dreamself uses abstracted thought to split his conciousness, and he wakes up so that his realself can continue updating his comic while his dreamself can check out what's going on. Finding his computer getting several people pestering him at once, Dream Dave instals Pesterchum in himself and splits into three copies, each of them answering three. After one of them is finished with his conversations, he uses temporal replicsimile to split into a greenself that goes into the past by Sollux and Mituna's hive, and the redself that goes into the future at the inn. Also, it turns out that the former Troll Empress the Condesce was hiding out at Dave's house. The other two Dream Daves leave his house, one at first fighting with the dark side of his fanbase before agreeing to go to an appology dinner with them at Olive Garder. The other is about to go into the Mario session before finding Rose and Roxy with the dog's scratches on them, questioning as to what the hell happened. In the wrapup, it turns out that Rose's and Dave's previously hinted at boyfriend/girlfriend were eachother. They share a kiss, and Dave warns Rose and Roxy about the Millennium, before the perspective shifts wildly (mostly around Dave) to see what's going on. Future Dream Dave is training Jade's dream skills; Past Dream Dave has gathered Sollux and together they agree to do a lot of weird background shit in regards to controlling the Mario game and starting up this "SBURB" project. To be honest, this project was originally going to be (as in, before I got to writting IA 4) a mock-up SBURB session which will be the main focus of Act 2, giving SJAHJ from that point more of a "closer to Homestuck" feel, but come on. We already spent too much time on [i]one[/i] immersive game already. Dave also mentions conjuring Prospit. The other non-TR-using Dave we see was still over on the dinner, with more of the fans coming in. Finally, far later down the road, Roxy will take Rose over to the Mario session in an attempt to force-feed Dave some of the quest gatorade so that a female counterpart of him will be made for Jade to fall in love with. But this plan actually wasn't really necessary. After all, everyone loves Dave. Everyone. (Or was it "every[i]body[/i] loves Dave?" Eh...) ASCENT UP THE TOWER [This part is under construction! Sorry!] [...] [...] the gang then places the twelve Nepeta ectoclones on a broke-off chunk of the planet that consists of a large rock with a single, simple building on it. Jean, Jude, Joan, Jaka, and Davosesprite all get on as well to ensure the best possible way to deliver the clones. Also, John, FIRE John, Jean, Jake, and Jaka all toss their PDAs into the QS when set to "random" and they are distributed through random points in time and space. — INTERMISSION INTERMISSION 2: WARPING TO THE REAL WORLD — [...] And then I typed up a recap to explain what the hell you just read for this last intermission act.
Recap Three (Act Two Act One - First part of Act Two Act Two)
— ACT TWO ACT ONE: FINALLY BACK HOME — WHAT JOHN AND JADE WERE DOING Very shortly upon returning to John's home neighborhood, the heroes find themselves in the middle of a conflict when two varying ways of paintball matches are proposed after winning some tickets to Springfield thanks to a confrontation from a Space Core. John, being terrible at compromises, says that they should go fishing instead. The fishing group consists of John, Jade, Fire John (who had pimped out his outfit early on), Ice Jade (same as Fire John), Terezi, Feferi, Nepeta, Roxy, and Dirk. They get swallowed by a Killer Bass that's highly unlikley to ever be brought up again (watch as the damn fish turns out to be the final boss or something bullshit like that, prooving me wrong). This scene soley exists to give the Fire/Ice duo some badly done character development, showing that Fire John is willing to harm the animal in order to get it to cough them out, while Ice Jade uses a slightly more pacifistic technique of meerly tickling it with snow. This causes them to puke the group out. This group meets Hydra, who in case you forgot is one of the surviving members of the Millennium. Jade shoots it anticlimatically, just after an exposition as to their exact abilities. This gives them congrats from Dale, Bill, and Boomhauer, making their first appearance since what? A thousand pages? I'm not kidding. Also, we learn that Jade and Jake's hair color is blue from a perspective centered around Hank, who is on his way out of the Mario session. Hank takes normal Jade off of his revenge list. Oh and he got the spirits of Peter, Cleveland, and Stan bottled up. Anyway, John and co. have a paintball match for real, but it's mostly not important. All you need to know is that the Fire&Ice duo can both succeed their normal selves. After it, John explains how he and his family moved to Arlen: Jade was messing around with a model rocket, but launched it from her hometown of Arlen all the way over towards Washington. After the match, Jack, who had been given the Black Queen's ring, which was stolen by Teal Nepeta, who proceeded to break the chain of Derse's Moon and ride it out of the Mario session, had prototyped himself into a hybrid of a dream Rose, a dream Dave, Edward Cullen, the Ice King, and Bowser. One of these prototypings had given Jack a strange urge to kill Jade, so he flew out from Derse using his Ice King abilities to fly, and stabbed Jade with a makeshift icicle. He tries to eat the corpse, but it tastes like dead fish so he doesn't. It still leaves a bite mark, which turns he corpse into Vampire Jade while the extra lives from the 7up still come into play and bring Jade back yet again, meaning that there is still a normal Jade out there. Normal Jade shoots Jack in the groin, and before Jack dies of bloodloss he commands DD, CD, and HB to kill Jade. Vampire Jade eats the corpse, but spits out the ring. Mituna then dated Porrim, which worked out pretty well. KANAYA AND VRISKA Kanaya started hallucinating from all the pot she was smoking, so Vriska decides to take advantage of this vauge dream-like state and tried to manipulate her a little bit better. Vriska helps Kanaya flashback to the Mario session, where she tried to make a remark towards Rose but instead ended up bringing up a sensitive subject (her mother, who is currently dead and familiarized by Rip). Plus she found out that Rose already had a boyfriend, which was the first thing to sink that ship. And trust me, the possibility of Rose/Kanaya will only get lower from there. In rage, Kanaya threw her husktop on Prospit's Moon just before it was sent into the quantum scatterer. Vriska confesses that the reason she reminded Kanaya of this was because she wanted to emphasize that Damara had a crush on Kanaya, and Vriska wanted to hook them up because she felt that Damara was still angry at an unseen incident where Vriska kissed Gamzee in an attempt to make Aradia jealous for some stupid reason. She, realizing now that she actually loves Jade, runs over towards the direction of the group but bumps into Equius (who was there to watch the paintball match) and then asks him to set up a date between the two. Unluckily, Damara starts trolling her to flirt with her. Kanaya realizes that she should be sober in order to work things out, so she uses her jadeblood powers to expand her liver to get rid of the marajuana so that she can think more clearly. Also Robosanta posseses the Space Core, goes back in time to Prospit, and we see that the Sufferer is there. Sollux flies over to Dirk and Roxy and it turns out that him and Dirk are in a relationship. Also we see that Sollux's eyes are blue and yellow, and Mituna's are red and green, but this has little plot relevance aside from symbolism. Kanaya's conversation with Damara quickly turned from why she doesn't like Damara to why she does like Jade, and Kanaya accidentally slips a few things about her family's rivalry with Dave's family, from the ancestor story. Daveosesprite jumps into the conversation, feeling that Jade was confirmed as being evil, then Kanaya starts to get suspicious that Jade might not be the target, but instead Dave and Rose. Davosesprite then mentally (but not physically) lost the "Rose" part as Rose had waken up, and the two are linked since Rose did not use abstracted thought before her dreamself was prototyped. Davesprite...ish, from within Jude's dreams and from the three-hour trip, had contacted Rose and said that the only sollution they can come up with in order to not look like villains is to... kill Kanaya. Yeah, really stupid, I know. STUFF DAVE WAS DOING Since Eridan had been guarding Dave from any and all trolls, John and Jade were at the paintball fields, Jane and Jake were doing nothing but making out at Wal-mart, and the counterparts are still on their meteor trip, Dave has nobody to really talk to without boring himself to death. Luckily, one of his dreamselves from the day before - the one who was dealing with his fandumb - had been on a mission to investigate strange cat sounds from the building behind Wal-mart. These sounds are none other than the Nepetas, planning in one of their 33 secret bases. However, it turns out that Eridan had made an anti-Dave alliance with Meenah and Kurloz! They break in, kill the accompanying dreamself, and Meenah kicks away Dave's sole weapon. Then the Nepetas ambush them, with the Green Nepeta turning out to be in two places at once thanks to bad writting on my part. But that one turns out to be Kurloz in disguise... only for everyone who isn't a Nepeta of one of Dave's fans (the latter of whom ran away as soon as the sea-dwelling duo came in) to be locked in jail. With Tyrian Nepeta guarding to prevent Dave from conjuring another dreamself, all he, Meenah, Kurloz, and Eridan can do it wait. However again! Kurloz had contacted Gamzee to set up a plan in order to free them! This plan was to take Tavros, Cronus, and Karkat onto a trip in a rocket, and crash it into the base so that everyone can break out. This... failed horribly. But luckily Vampire Jade uses her super scent to find Dave and break into the Nepetas' prison, just as Dave was dying because Tavros accidentally stabbed him with his horns upon landing in the cell. Thinking of how to save him, Vampire Jade bites Dave and turns him into Vampire Dave, although I should really be calling him Dave since there's only one of him. JANE AND JAKE Jake decided to mediate between a conflict Terezi and Feferi were having over Meenah deeming Terezi "too good" for dating Feferi. Davosesprite (again with just the Dave part) broke into the resulting memo as well, and vaugly mentioned the assassination mission toward Kanaya. Meenah in turn finally signed into the memo and threatened to kill the waking Dave, Vampire Dave, which greatly set off Jake. He goes to the Nepeta base behind the building and is about to challenge Meenah to a fight, before Jane interveens. Vampire Jade decides to verbally bitchsmack Vampire Dave until Jane interveens [i]that[/i] conversation too. Feferi and Meenah decide to settle their conflict with a duel, which ends quickly as Feferi kicks Meenah in the groin. CONCLUSION The counterparts (and Davosesprite and SD) get to Earth, and Karkat quickly calls John, Jade, Jake, and Jane for a memo about hitting on patron trolls. The memo was at first nothing but ship teasing until (rather ironically, at that) Nepeta joins in and tells everybody that Rose is planned to kill Kanaya. She in question, as well as Karkat and Equius, are at Kanaya's house. Kanaya closes the memo and talks in person to Karkat and Equius about how to survive them until any of the Nepetas get there. Then Rose jumps out, attempts to kill Kanaya, but Kanaya stabs Rose with her chainsaw. — ACT TWO INTERMISSION ONE: THE EXPOSIN 8 OR — FOX CREW & MILLENNIUM Aranea wraps up most of the Fox Crew and Millennium plot, which I shall summarize thusly: RIP KILLS EVERYONE. Well, not everyone. She kills off all of the FC's redshirts. One of them, Dottie (Dotty? I don't know; I Googled "Family Guy nudists" and the first result for the wife was spelled "Dottie") Campbell, a nudist that the Griffin family knew, had survived, and encountered Hank. They were both in World 6, looking for this fabled "life spring" that can revive the spirits of the fallen members and give them all extra lives. Luke, Schrodinger, Zorin, and Janitor all pitch in and form an "alliance" with the last two members of the Fox Crew in efforts to take down Rip, however both groups were planning on backstabbing the other. Luke and Schrodinger use their powers to send Hank, Zorin, and Janitor over to Aranea's house, while Luke and Schrodinger betray the FC right away by smashing the bottles, forcing the ghosts of the fallen FC members towards the Afterlife plain and not giving them a chance to revive. Dottie tries to stop this, but then Rip comes in. Rip disprooves Schrodinger's abilities and shoots him, and Luke gives a message to John about getting the chaos emeralds from her, Dave, Rose, and the Nepetas. Rip both kills Luke and shoots Dottie, but instead of eating them she goes over to the life spring. TROLL ANCESTORS AND PROSPIT The story begins by continuing from the events of the end of the Trip Intermission. Jude writes the note seen in IA 3, then sends it by using a copy of the green chaos emerald from the past. Evil Yoshi, who remember was also hitching along for the ride, sees the beam heading FTL to Earth and tries to follow it, but because charizards (remember that's what Evil Yoshi evolved to) obviously can't fly through space faster than light, he loses track of it. Instead, he find the ship of the Condensce, who trains him for ten years. Now for the other ancestors, who landed on Prospit's moon as soon as it appeared. They all died except Condesce, who would later be exiled into the Strider manor, Desciple, who left the whole conundrum because Leijons are unable to die barring Spongebob's fan fiction until the [i]Simpsons[/i] is canceled (no that wasn't actually revealed in the story, I told you it just now but you don't have to worry about it since SJAHJ is close to ending and I doubt Simpsons will end before that... unfortunatley), and Darkleer and Dolorosa, who fucked eachother once they reached Prospit, sent back in time. It also turns out that the people sleeping in the two towers are Burt and Geromy, the two Prospit dreams from Dave's [i]Coolstuck[/i], which is this multiverse's version of [i]Homestuck[/i]. With Evil Yoshi being there, one of the many curser woman clones directs him to fly over and check out what's inside, since her and Homer were previously having extreme difficulties to do so. Geromy's room is empty. Burt's room, however, has Geromy hiding out in it, and he knocks out Evil Yoshi, then takes Burt out to the core of the moon in order to God Tier when the moon crashes on Earth. Fast foreward to then, PM escapes by riding on a still-prototyped WQ, Omega Drew Pickles survives because he is strong, and the Revenge Five (more like the Revenge Three since Bank Robber and Silencer are dead) survive by the Curser Women protecting Evil Yoshi and Homer using her magic. Spongebob dies, sending his last message from both his and the kids' perspective (aside from the first conversations) by telling Jean that everyone except her, Jade, Jane, Jake, and all of their alter-egoes is evil. Spongebob's behavior is also revealed: He contacted three different Jades created within the Mario Session upon first getting his account, which is an alt of Kanaya's trollian account that she used to use for trolling (the "being a jackass" kind, not a race kind). Through a paradox, Jade, Ice Jade, and Jude were all angry at him for death-threating bahavior born from them being rude to him. The moon had crashed by Springfield, and the Revenge Five/Three start attacking it, only for the Simpsonian race to fight back and lock the curser women in a dungeon. Evil Yoshi and Homer exiled themselves to an island. Robosanta survived this somehow and is waiting on Springfield. CONCLUSION Hank had broken in Aranea and Vriska's hive along with Janitor and Zorin. However, the two Millennium members betray Hank and hold him. It turned out that the reason why Hank wanted to go to the Serket hive was because Aranea was really a secret spy for the Millennium. Aranea kills Hank by using her flourite octet, which she considers "context sensitive" due to how predetermination works in this universe. This makes an AK-47, which Hank is promptly shot at with. Also Vriska now has a moronic karma superheroine outfit. — ACT TWO ACT TWO: EVIL'S ALL AROUND US —
Recap Four (Second part of Act Two Act Two to Act Two Act Three)
FINAL RECAP (Act Three pre-Epilogue)
Future Tropes (Tropes in Possible Updates After the Latest Update; Though More Like Either "Outdated Tropes" or "Trope I Haven't Added Yet")
To Do List
(Basically the only thing that still applies here is adding the image to the B&YT folder!) Folder by folder: Sweet Jade And Hella John
Leg 2 Shinanegans
Housestuck Hurrcain Crconikals is a Homestuck fan fic, the seventh fan fic in the Stylistic Suck SBIG series by Great Pikmin Fan, and is a spinoff to Hecksing Ulumate Crconikals. It takes place in the same universe and timeline, but focuses on some of the people who used to be side characters. John, Rose, and Jade are playing an MMORPG when a strange "white orc" character kills all of their avatars and messes up their gameplay. Irritated (for the second time in Rose and Jade's case), they get Roxy to track down the person responsible and find out that it's Doc Scratch, of the Felt. For some reason. After their first attempt at killing him fails when the entire Felt tries to fight them at once, the eight humans seek help from the trolls, who first train them and then hire them as part of their group. Originally, the trolls called themselves the Zodiacs and the humans the Housestucks, but since the humans make the group not fit the Zodiac theme they rename themselves the Rainbow Crew. Similar to Hecksing Ulumate Crconikals, the main conflict is between two organizations; the Felt and the Rainbow Crew. Completely unlike HUC, however, over half of the fan fic will consist of various side story chapters dedicated to developing the characters and the world. That's right. An attempt at "Character Development" and "World Building" in an intentionally badly done fan fic. This goes about as well as one might expect. Word of God says the relationship between HHC and HUC is similar to that between The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask and Ocarina of Time respectivley, just done really badly. Also, apparantly everyone is a die-hard fan of Futurama. The seasons are: (Warning: Descriptions may contain spoilers)
Leg 1 Tropes...
(...That I didn't put in the main page yet) None right now!Shameless Fanservice Girl http://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/karkats-theme Massive Spoilers!
Page Count & Act Summary
"damn man why do us look like shit? usually in fanarts genderswaps look sexy as all hell but we... don't."