[font=comic sans ms]

— ACT ONE: THE GATEWAY TO MADNESS —

[i]Sweet Jade and Hella John[/i] begins with John Egbert and Jade Harley in the former's house, with him suggesting that they should be Mario and Luigi respectivley.

— MARIO INTERMISSION —

—- INTERMISSION ACT ONE: WARPING TO THE WARP ZONE —-

John and Jade's first action after donning their new Mario costumes (although Jade's, in her default sprite, looks like Homer Simpson with a poorly recolored shirt) is for Jade to uncaptchalouge a large yellow ship. They ride it from the window of John's house, which has been transported into World 1-1, through the window of Hank Hill's house. This makes Hank Hill quite angry and lands him a spot as one of John's (and Jade's) enemies.

While still flying through Hank's house, Jade explains the bare basics of the game. Bowser is dead (this wasn't said by Jade but rather stated directly by the narrator), and instead the duo has to fight one "[color=maroon]The Evil[/color]" who has kidnapped [color=magenta]the Princess[/color], and then the [color=magenta]Princess[/color] will give to the a [color=blue]kiss[/color] for saving them. Jade also explains that a certain white texted fellow gave her some of this information, and that the reason why they just trashed Hank's house was because they were trying to get to a hidden portal leading to a warp zone in order to skip the game. While flying, a Yoshi egg is sedificated on the ship from an unknown source. John, after a brief vote from the suggestions, rides the Yoshi, while a lonley Jade decides to read her magazine [i]Boobs[/i]. It is around this point that the ship enters the portal, and ends up in a black void leading to an exclusive Warp Zone area. However, the actual trip to the zone from here takes three hours. During this time Jade attempts to cook the egg that the Yoshi watched in and John somehow gets the egg under the ship, setting them both ablaze. John fumbles around his sylladex trying to get out a bucket of water. However, only being able to take out what's on the first card (also the last item put in, meaning his has a First in, Last Out system of FILO), he holds the first item, a laxative, out on his hand. Before he can put it down, Yoshi eats it, and also sets the ship on crap as well. A combination of this and the fire makes it start to lose control.

Meanwhile, the three hours have nearly passed, and Jade suffers a nosebleed (also the only time in the comic that blood is colored dark red instead of red; that was due to an error) and flies off the ship. To prevent her magazine from getting destroyed in the fire or from losing it, she captchalogues it, and gets punched by the card due to her modus. This modus in question is said to be very usefull, with some of its skills being demonstrated later on in Intermission Act Three. Jade goes flying off, and John starts to lose control of the ship, but he finally arives at the Warp Zone and must crash the ship somewhere.

It is then that the rest of the planets are revealed:

[list] [*] World 1: The grass world. [*] World 2: The desert world. [*] World 3: The beach/ocean world. [*] World 4: The sky world. [*] World 5: The cave world. [*] World 6: The forest world. [*] World 7: The ice world. [*] World 8: The lava world. (Mistakenly reffered to as "Hell," even though that's a different location entirley. More of that later.) [/list]

—- INTERMISSION ACT TWO: TRECKING THE EIGHT PLANETS —-

SPLIT: EVENTS FROM JOHN'S PERSPECTIVE

The Yellow Ship crashlands in the ice world. While on the penultimate planet John and Yoshi encounter Nepeta, who had fallen from a prank done by Vriska. The duo quickly adds her to their party. They then meet Dirk, who was playing an immersive Zelda game as John and Jade are playing an emmersive Mario game. Dirk is added to the party as well.

While messing around with the options, John deliberatley disobeys an order from Jade and clicks "Check Quarterly Earnings," which triggers a dating minigame between him and the next person in line on the party menu. In this case, Nepeta, as John has combined himself with Yoshi so that he can ride on him, as a way to get around the "only three people can fight at a time" rule. The first stage of the date is interrupted when a creepy baby doll head, soon revealed to be created by Gamzee as per a request from Hank Hill in an attempt of revenge for the window incident, chases them away from the restaurant. They meet another foe in the second part of the date, the movies, when Yoshi's evil twin who was still in the egg when John cooked it, wandered around the planet for revenge. Evil Yoshi was just about to shoot fire breath at the two dating kids when John and Nepeta confess their love, kiss, and end the date. They are then teleported back to the main section of the planet. This fire ignites the threater.

Not far into World 7-1 the group of four come across a wereworf (Captain from [i]Hellsing[/i]) with a yellow "9" hat, and John is pestered by one hellishHuntress (HH). HH, who also speaks without typoes, gives John an unusual warning about fighting Captain. After Captain simply leaves to look for a hidden ship with treasure, the group comes across a pit. John and Good Yoshi, whom are still in their "combined" riding formation, attempt to jump over, but it turns out there was an invisible coin block there. John sacrifices Good Yoshi by jumping off of him in order to get to the other end of the pit, only to find out that the pit wasn't that deep. He then trys to get Good Yoshi out by getting a whistle for him to call for help, but it was a warp whistle, which warps Good Yoshi to World 8-4.

It is not long after this point that Jade joins them.

SPLIT: EVENTS FROM JADE'S PERSPECTIVE

Jade lands on Vriska, having landed in Troll Town, an area not a part of the eight other worlds. After calling an ambulance to get Vriska off to the hospital, Jade explores the twelve hives of the trolls hanging out over there. She soon meets Karkat, who tells her that he needs to be in a part of a duel against a trol (a rival race to trolls) named Anger Crabman. It turns out that this duel is one of a Yu-Gi-Oh CCG match, and Karkat hid a powerful card in Nepeta's new hive. They enter the hive, only to find that it's appearantly haunted. They find the card, but are met with a Waterwraith (a creature from the [i]Pikmin[/i] series) with an orange "13" hat. Like John, Jade is also pestered by the mysterious HH. She tells her to run away from the Waterwraith. Her and Karkat do so, and make it outside, albeit still being chased by the creature. Karkat salts the Waterwraith and drinks it to try to stop it. The first doesn't appear to do anything, but the second causes Karkat to pass out and undergo hysteria. Confused, Jade opens a memo, eventually getting advice from Gamzee to try to negate the effects of the Wraterwraith's plasma with some supor slime. This only works long enough to keep Karkat going through the duel match.

With this all settled, at least for now, Karkat directs Jade to what he thinks is the pipe leading to World 8-4. Instead, Jade is warped one-way to World 1-1. Infuriated at his mistake, Jade gives a strong hate message to Karkat before quickly navigating to World 7-1 and catching up with John's team.

SPLIT: EVENTS FROM OTHER PERSPECITVES

Vriska is escorted to a hospital where her Doctor proposes a way to fix her broker legs, but before he can do the operation he is stabbed by Hank Hill. It is then revealed that the Doctor is a member of a mysterious group of corrupt people known as the Millennium. Vriska, strongly dissapointed, leaves the place in a wheelchair only to find Tavros right outside. Vriska then reveals that she made a karma list and wants Tavros to help her fix everything on it. They attempt to do their first item, Vriska paralysing Tavros (the item in question was added onto the list by Tavros himself), by trying to revive the Doctor and get genetic engineering operation on both of them. They attempt to go to World 8 for an extra life to transfer to Doctor, with Vriska not wanting to find a random 1-up in Troll Town because it's too easy, but Vriska's rocket runs out of fuel and lands in World 4.

Meanwhile, the Silencer (that baby doll head) comes to life and wanders into the movie theater where Evil Yoshi is at. Before Silencer enters, Hydra of the Millennium enters through the flames and extinguishes them with his sea dwelling blue head. Evil Yoshi evolves into a Charhazard, scaring the Hydra into leaving. This is where the Silencer enters, and uses its powers to create real-life copies of three people in the merged movie that is still playing. (The power is [i]not[/i] directly taking them out of the movie; it's just copying their data.) The three taken out were Homer Simpson, a nude bank robberer who highly resembles Problem Sleuth, and an equally nude ghost woman that's said to be immortal. These five band up to form a team with one common goal; attacking John and Jade.

Gamzee and Aradia start up a double date with Terezi and Feferi, but it comes to a quick halt after the two "Ed turkey ala-kings" were really naked Eds. Also, Hank questions as to whether or not the waiter is Walter, another of the Millennium, in disguise. It turns out that he is really the Ice King, who flies over to World 8-4 to try to kidnap [color=magenta]the Princess[/color]. He fails, getting stabbed by a crystal shard from the Crystal King, one of [color=maroon]The Evil[/color]'s forces.

THE FOX CREW

The Fow Crew consits of [color=red]Hank Hill[/color], [color=olive]Cleveland Brown[/color], [color=green]Peter Griffin[/color], and [color=navy]Stan Smith[/color]. As I said before, their enemies are the Millennium, who want to "take over all the politics and economy." They consit of:

[list] [*] Luke Valentine (1): Vampire, the self-proclaimed fancy expert with super speed and knive abilities. [*] Jan Valentine (2): Vampire, a totally batshit asshole who can fire "fuck you beams." [*] Tubalcain "Dandy" "Card Guy" Alhambra (3): Vampire, he basically uses razor sharp cards. [*] Schrodinger (4): A catboy that uses wierd quantum shit powers. [*] Zorin Blitz (5): Vampire, a sadist who's able to create illusions. [*] Walter C. Dornez (6): An expert in combat, uses razor sharp wires. Also is adept at disguises. [*] Doctor (7): Mad scientist. The only one killed before the hitlist reveal. [*] hellishHuntress/???? (8): In the first reveal of the Fox Crew's hitlist, the only implication that there's an "8" member is that there's a space between 7 and 9. However, two conversations reveal that HH, John and Jade's myterious patron guide, is a part of the Millennium, and is member #8. [*] Lucky "Captain" Failington (9): Werewolf, the self-proclaimed super natural trumpcard and "good fighter." In contrast to his canon persona, he's extremely talkative and emotional. [*] Janitor (10): The former leader/Major of the team before some unknown event demotes him to the bottom rank. [*] Eric Cartman (11): A moron, but at the same time an evil genius. Also the first person on this list who's not from [i]Hellsing[/i]. [*] Hydra (12): An expert dragon fighter with, as his name implies, three heads. Each head has a different specialty: the blue head can allow the entire dragon to breathe under water, and it alone can shoot out water; the green head shoots poison, flammable gas and can enable the entire dragon to survive extreme heat; and the yellow head (the unofficial "leader" of the three) can shoot out flaming rocks and enable the entire dragon to both turn into a statue and use fire as a gateway through space. [*] Waterwraith (13): A ghost-like plasma/water thing that can only be harmed by very specific materials. [*] Death Mecha (14): A huge robot specifically crafted to kill the Fox Crew. Arguably the real trump card of the team. [*] Darkhorse (15): A half horse, half skeleton monster being. He's cool, at least according to Hank. He's the only one Hank Hill doesn't mind spareing in his Millennium killing spree. [*] ???? (Cue Ball): Very little is known about the cue ball member even from Rip's conversations, much less at the reveal of the hit list. While there is a White Text Guy, the only hint that there is specifically a cue ball member is HH stating that there is a cue ball member who is the second in command of the Millennium. [*] Lord Major Quimby. Not much is known about him as of the hitlist reveal other than that he's "corrupt." [/list]

Peter is stationed in World 2. He quickly finds Cartman, who insults him, and then spots Luke running around with his super speed, trailing up a bunch of dust in the desert sand. Peter trips Luke and sends him falling on Cartman. He then shoots them both, but soon after gets blasted by Jan's fuck you beams.

Cleveland is in World 5. He, against orders, is playing a game of strip poker against Card Guy. He cuts himself on a card, and thinking it's a trap, he prepares for attack, only to make out with him instead. Zorin notices this and sends Cleveland into an illusion. Cleveland flips the hell out but manages to grab hold of Zorin's scythe, cutting her in half. He is then shot to death by the Janitor, who takes this entire incident as an oppertunity to get a promotion by both eliminating one of the enemy and by killing a traitor. Only have of this applies as Card Guy shortly after cuts Janitor with a card.

Stan is inside the yellow ship that crashed in World 7. The Captain is there as well, searching for a ship filled with gold. (It turns out he went into the wrong ship.) Unfortunatly for Stan, he didn't bring silver, so his attacks against the Captain were useless. Schrodinger notices this and flips his coin, summoning the Death Mecha. The Death Mecha kills Stan, but carlessly kills the Captain as well. #8 finally makes an appearance by shooting Death Mecha repeatedly with the same bullet in an act of vengance for the Captain. It is then revealed that #8 is a woman by the name of Rip Van Winkle.

JOHN AND JADE'S MEETUP

To celebrate first meeting in World 7, John proposes that his team would act as Santa.

SWEET TROLLS AND HELLA MORE TROLLS

CONCLUSION

Jane and Jake had wandered into World 8-3's inn nearby World 8-4, not knowing that John, Jade, and Nepeta are sleeping there. While Jake's dream is completely unimportant, Jane dreams that she's about to kiss Jake, but gets a swift kick in the ovaries by John, who was dreaming that his "inner female self" was trying to hit on him. This is because John, in his dream, attempts to kick his IFS, but in reality kicks Jane instead.

Aware that the two are away from 8-4's entrance, the three heroes run over to the entrance only to find it blocked by Walter. Almost at the point of giving up, John turns to Morshu, who tells him that he can Jade can get into the castle another way through an "inward jorney." He does so by setting up portals which link into the kids' respective rooms that they need to go into. In John's room, he finds a nothing in it but as bottle of Gatorade (as well as two doors, one locked and one blocked, and a floor door with a heavy bust on it). Jade's room at first has the same layout. John then drinks the Gatorade and passes out.

—- INTERMISSION INTERMISSION: SHITTING ON SHIPPING —-

[BLAH BLAH BLAH]

After the explosion, it is then shown that the events of this intermission were all just a fan fiction... by Spongebob Squarepants. In shades. Whom appears to be in somewhere with a golden background. And with who seems to be Drew Pickles with a cue ball hat.

—- INTERMISSION ACT THREE: SEIGE ON THE EVIL'S CASTLE —-

INWARD JORNEY

A young lady known as Jean Egbert wakes up in a room which looks like the room John was in, only lighter in color and without the floor opening. She unlocks the door leading into the backhallway, contacts Jade, explains that drinking the gatorade is supposed to lead to the creation of an opposite sex counterpart that will help them leave the area and thus complete their "inward jorney." Also, Spongebob Squarepants contacts her and sends her both the contents of the Shipping Intermission and a fan fic pairing off John with Jade. (The latter of which is something Spongebob always does when he contacts John, Jean, or even Jade.)

EVENTS FROM THE TROLLS PERSPECTIVE

Every troll (barring Tavros, who is somewhere within 8-4; Sollux, who is still in Troll Town to presumably work on something with Dave; and the good twins, who's whereabouts are still unknown) is still standing in front of 8-4 when the group of five at the theater arrive there. They have revealed to name themselves the "Revenge Five," in spite of only two of them being motivated by revenge.

[...]

SHOWDOWN

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• BFS: Jane's feather/Crocker Blade (It can mechanically change from one to another), by far the biggest sword introduced so far. It's said to be nearly indestructible, so when Joan is created and the Blade, among the other things in Jane's sylladex, is cloned onto his sylladex, it makes you wonder what would happen if both swords clashed eachother.
• Chekhov's Gunman:
  • Silencer and Evil Yoshi. Arguably twice, if you count their reappearance in the character select arc of Intermission Act Two, as well as when they finally catch up to the kids in Intermission Act Three.
• Crack Pairing: Several, mostly played for laughs. It really helps that the author has almost no oppinions on Homestuck shipping or couple prefferences.
  • By the end of the Mario Intermission, we have, in order of reveal: John/Nepeta, Gamzee/Aradia, Terezi/Feferi, Karkat/Nepeta which later turns to one sided Nepeta/Karkat after he finds out that John and Nepeta are dating, Jane/Jake (borderline crack with the popularity of Jake/Dirk and Roxy/Jane), Equius/Karkat, possible Vriska/Tavros, Rose/Dave, one-sided John/Roxy. And that's not even counting the teased couples.
  • This is just between kids and/or trolls. There's also one time when Cleveland Brown was paired up with a side villain from Hellsing but it doesn't work out. They break up shortly after the former is brought back to life.
• Four Lines, All Waiting: Intermission Act Two (and, to a lesser extent, Intermission Intermission) got really bad with this some times. Thankfully, Intermission Act Three begins by attempting to avoid this, by only focusing on the kids trying to get out of their inward jorney rooms ala the beginning of Problem Sleuth, the only perspective change outside of this being the explanation as to why Jane and Jake were sent to their inward jorney rooms.
• Fridge Horror: Lord Major Quimby's Mayoral sash can transform into a copy of Ed, Edd n Eddy: The Mis-Edventures for him to time travel in, just like Lord English's coat becoming a sarcophagus. Not only does this mean that there's a chance he could have been traveling with John this entire time, but since his copy of the game was cloned once Jean was made, it also brings the possibility that there are now two of him.
• It Makes Sense in Context:
  • "You see your BOYFRENDS dreem self floating towards you usin up his imagination gage. You can tell by the colour of his outline that this clone isn't from the futoure and the past." [sic]
  • "You canot use LEZBIAN POWERS becuz lesbainistm is just a sexuality and nothin' more! You can, however, youse the power of your Boobs." *
    The fictional magazine brand, not breasts.
  • The bolded parts here: urgh. look, i had a dreem where my female self tried to kiss me, my own sister also tried to kis me, i drempt she and i were makingout and when i woke up i eneded up seeing said female self and it was weerd and i freeked the hell out, i suddenly lernt there was thirteen vershons of my girlfriend each with different blood colors, spongebob squarepants sent me a fan fiction where you and i both nuked everyone, i'm suposed to get a kiss from som dumb ho who's captured by a fucking skeleton, and roxy, karkat, and nepeta's sister or somethng all wanted to set me up with rose, you, and daev respectivly. so i REALLY don't wanna think about romance right now. @_@
• Mama Bear: Shortly after creating the twelve bloodswapped Nepetas without knowing what he was doing, John's FIRE-version considered spraying them with pesticides because he thought they were just bugs. The original Nepeta's responce, as John was about to spray them? She bursts into the scene and hits him on the back on the head with a piano. It isn't clear wether this was done for the mission to get the "kickass reward" or if Nepeta really does have motherly feelings towards her clones, but there's definitley something there.
• Me's a Crowd: [Blah blah blah] As of the end of the Mario Intermission, here's everyone's stats:
  • John: 3 (normal, FIRE, Jean)
  • Jade: 3 (normal, ICE, Jude)
  • Jane: 2 (normal, Joan)
  • Jake: 5 (normal, EARTH, Jaka, blue Jaka, fiesta Jaka)
  • Rose: 1
  • Roxy: 1
  • Dave: 2 (normal, past dreamself)
  • Dirk: 3 (normal, FIRE, Brobot)
  • Aradia: 1
  • Tavros: 1
  • Sollux: 2 (red-white, blue-white)
  • [...]
  • Nepeta: 13 (a version with each blood color of the hemospectrum, plus a blood mutation)
  • Kanaya: 3 (normal, rainbow drinker, fiesta)
• Mind Screwdriver: Intermission Act Three begins with Jade reading a Game FAQS entry written by the author in conherant text, explaining the mechanics of the game a little.
• Shout Out:
  • MME: Press "superego" button. You are now strandeded in a hoshital IN BLACK SPACE. Game over!
  • Roxy can't talk to boys unless she's drunk.
• Slapstick Knows No Gender: Between Jade having a modis that repeatedly punches her (as well as getting a nosebleed which leads to being punched off a ship), Kanaya getting hit in the face with Vriska's butt (it makes less sense in context), Jane, Jean, and Jaka getting kicked between the legs before anyone else, and just about everything related to Rose and Roxy's treasure hunt, it's safe to say that no female character whatsoever is safe from SBAHJ-esque shinanegans.
• Stable Time Loop:
  • Cobalt Blooded Nepeta (and, to a lesser extent, Gold Blooded Nepeta) lead John's FIRE counterpart into creating all twelve of the bloodswapped Nepetas. Including the two that told him to do so.
  • A few of the intertimeline memoes have some portions which are borderline self-fulfilling. Such as Rip mentioning that John's group was sleeping at an inn during the time she logged on the memo. Later on, this is what gives them the idea to stay at the inn (along with John getting almost killed after being punched by Jane).
• Tom The Dark Lord: The Demoness Rip Van Winkle is serving. While her name itself has yet to be revealed, she also goes by the chumhandle "heavensHeart." Not a very threatening name, but her qurik can convince anyone to think otherwirse.
  • Yo{|UNG MAN.

John Egbert/Mario Egbert

The main protagonist, he is often quick to jump into new ideas. During the Mario Intermission, he has to rely on Jade to guide him through the game and explain some of the mechanics (barring the inward jorney arc, where the kids' Gender Flip clones have to guide them all using their programed knowledge).

talks/types using his same quirk from homestuck, but with more outdated slang and swears, bitches!
switched to red text during the mario intermission. but other than that, everything stayed the same.
occasionally (and more often after the mario intermission) he starts talking like jade in runon sentences and with over punctuation!!!! and smilies!! :D

• I Hate Past Me: Early into Intermission Act Three, he starts a memo and invites his female and FIRE selfs to join. Later on, his future self, shortly after the Mario session ends (as evident by him typing in blue text instead of red) joins in and has this to say:
  FEB: ahahaha oh my god.
  FEB: i can't BELIVE i hatted myself so much when i was playing the game.
  FEB: i was so stupid.
  CEB: shut up!
  CEB: it's not like you're THAT beter thin us!
  CEB: your only a day ahead of us!
  CEB: yeah, shut up!

He then proceeds to outright troll his past self and both of their counterparts until Jade (from the same point in the future) comes in and bans him.

• Madness Mantra: "aw hell naw" when he sees his female self for real.
• Ship Tease: He's teased with everyone.

Jade Harley/Luigi Harley

talks/types using her same qurik from homestuck but uses more slang and swears like john!!!
only a LOT more swears than john!!!!! >:D
sometimes uses the word "coitus"
switched to lime green text during the mario intermission (but thats not that much different from her old color!)
for the second half of intermission act one and early into intermission act two she talked in a darker green because yoshi was the one who got the light green color...
but they switched colors early into ia2
after the mario intermission, she starts to use commas and periods once in a while. and overall types like john sometimes.

• The Ace: In the Mario game. She's able to burn through the first six worlds in a matter of only minuites, which while the levels themselfs are pretty easy, it's still an impressive feat.
• Double Standard: In-universe. She, at one point, makes the claim that she can get away with some of the comments she makes due to being a girl. She makes a few tests about this with Jude. With the author of this being GPF, needless to say Jade's theories weren't entirly correct.
• Flanderization: Her pervertedness (which was not a thing in Homestuck) was magnified a bit during early Intermission Act 3. Contrast to IA2, where a misunderstanding results in her posting a large "O_O" emotcon. This has since been undone, getting lampshaded a bit too.

FIRE John Egbert/FIRE Mario Egbert

Originally started as a copy of John created from a misunderstanding regarding extra lifes. Shortly after his creation, he ate a fire flower, making it easy to tell him apart with the normal John.

It turns out that his newly gained fire powers really made him feel more strong. He becomes a more confident character than the original John, all the while trying his best not to lose his fire powers.

[talks/types with john's quirk. he starts out with bracketed white text, to match the color of his new shirt,]
but then he switches to a bright orange after rip asks him do to so.
after the mario intermission, he keeps this style but uses more FIRE puns and capitalizes the word FIRE.
acts more imposing in general.
but still has a soft side! kind of...

• Glass Cannon: He can only take three hits before losing his FIRE powers. That is, until he fuses a Fire Flower's powder with his DNA, giving him near-permanent fire powers.
• Playing with Fire: Obviously.

Inward Jorney Selfs:

Universal tropes:

• Deconstruction: Of Problem Sleuth's Spirit Quest and subsequent events surrounding HD and NB. Played for laughs, though.
• Exposition Fairy: In regards to the inward jorney. They have pre-added knowledge of the layouts of the rooms as well as the basement, two side openings, and the back hallway. Jean acts as this arguably moreso than the rest, even expositing with John in a similar manner than Nannasprite did with him in Homestuck.
• Gender Flip: Well, more like sex flip.
• Mind Screw: Their lock rooms being locked from within behind their original self's rooms is supposed to represent... something. Whether it's each of them imagining themselfs in the opposite sex or getting into a relationship with them isn't really clear. But this gets weirder when you take into consideration the hallways connecting all four sets of rooms, behind even the counterparts' rooms. Pikmin Fan himself has not decided what this means.
• Running Gag: Each of their introductions have a page where the caption consists entirly of "Your name is X," with the next page showing the person frowning with "You are sad because..." being what's at the beginning of the caption.
• Screw Yourself: Averted. John and Jake both have issues with their counterparts (they begin kicking them in the groin as soon as they see them), although that was due to dreams involving them prior to the jorney. Jade and Jude, Jade's counterpart, argue about certain double standards. Jane is the only one who immediatley gets along with her counterpart.
• Wholesome Crossdresser: They dress exactly like their original selfs, given that unlike the Problem Sleuth counterparts, they have all the memories of the kids' lives given to them once they were made, so to some extent they were them. It's complicated.

Jean Egbert/Maria Egbert

John's counterpart created in the inward jorney and the first copy to be made. (Even though John and her entered their inward jorney rooms at nearly the same time, Jade refused to drink her quest gatorade due to not liking the drink. So her counterpart was not made until John forced her to drink.) Due to a certain dream prior to John's inward jorney, they don't start off getting along.

types with john's quirk, because, you know, they were the same person for almost thirteen years.*

The inward jorney takes place Valentines Day 2012, and the cast's birthdays have all been moved three years later to keep them the same age but still have the story take place in a modern setting.

switched to light red text during the mario intermission.

• Chekhovs Gunwoman: Appears briefly during John's dream late into Intermission Act Two. Except it isn't really her.
• Groin Attack: Rare example of a female victim to one.

Jude Harley/Lugia Harley

talks/types with jades quirk only with a little more depression
does not talk/type like john as often.
switched to jade text during the mario intermission
(fun fact: it was going to be teal at first)

• Stealth Pun: His text/speech color, both before and after the Mario Intermission. It's more jade colored than Jade's color.

Aradia Megido

Tavros Nitram

Sollux Captor

• Locked Out of the Loop: For a huge part of Intermission Act Three, he is the only non-clone troll who does not enter World 8-4.*
  Tavros is warped there by Purple Nepeta and the rest of them get there via the yellow ship and enter after Walter notices that Jane and Jake are attempting to betray The Evil and leaves his guard post.

Elitaa Sinois

An equal-bloodrights activist who constantly pesters Karkat and accuses his mutation of taking the slot in Troll Town that should be her's. Her STRIFE SPECIBUS is set to PESTICIDEKIND. Her trolltag is chartreuseGenes.

Types by capitalising the first letter in a sentence or after a commA And also caps where a period or comma would bE
dOES THE SAME THINg bUT WITH INVERSE CAPs fOR SHOUTINg
Also sometimes capitalizes the last three letters as an ellePSE

• Determinator: It's how she got on the yellow ship, after all.
• Expy: She seems to resemble a combination of John and Jade, in both appearance and intrests. This has yet to be explained.
• Jerkass: Mildly. Especially to Karkat.
• Playing with Fire: Her lowblood phychic powers involve pyrokineses.
• Remember the New Guy: Hey, remember her? Karkat's kismesis? Even though she doesn't exist in Homestuck? Yeah.
• Take That: Her base character is losley based off of Lisa Simpson's feminist tendencies. And given how her extreme anti-mutaint belifes aren't mostly played in a positive light...

Nepeta Leigon (And Clones)

.3 < *rust ac types in a mell0w way alternating "Os" and "0s" because she's half ghost. (but by ch0ise!)*
:1 < *BRONZE AC TYPES 1N CAPS AND REPLACES "I" W 1 TH "1."*
:22 < *gold ac type2 by replacing "s" with "2."*
:6 < *Lime AC types with proper grammar.*
:33 < *olive ac (the original one) types with her quirk from homestuck*
:3= < *Jade AC types using proper caps but still no punctuation*
||7 < *t34l 4c us3s th3 num3r4ls of th3 bl1nd proph3ts*
::::8 < *co8alt ac types 8y replacing "B" with "8."
:% < *indigo ac replaces "X" with "%" and often starts RANDOMLY CAPITALIZING when feeling not so cool*
B) < *purple ac uses this wierd "mellow" smilie and types like olive nepeta BUT SOMETIMES LOSES HER SHIT AND CAPS IT ALL UP*
:V *Violet ac capitalizes "V" and "W" and is generally angry at efurry thing*
:I *fuschIa ac capItalIzes "I" and has a bad halIbut of gettIng VERY PISSED OFF but always calms herself down so Its better!*
her anon/mutaint clone does not roleplay or begin typing with a smiley

Kanaya Maryam

• Pre-Asskicking One-Liner: "Its On Bitch"
• Totally Radical: After much character reworking, she is the only character outside of John and Jade who uses slang that doesn't use it in canon, and that's only occasional.

Terezi Pyrope

• Poor Communication Kills: In the Shipping Intermission, this is sort of what starts off her killing spree.

Vriska Serket

Early on in the story, Jade fell on her after falling off the ship, breaking Vriska's legs and making her think about karma. While a simple trip to an inn fixed her (and Tavros's) legs, she still insists on righting every wrong she has done.

Equius Zahhak

• Big "WHAT?!": In the Shipping Intermission, after finding out Aradia is dead.

Gamzee Makara

Eridan Ampora

Feferi Peixes

Hank Hill

• Only Sane Man: Compared to the other members. Although compared to everyone else in the series...
  • Not so Above It All.

Cleveland Brown

Peter Griffin

Stan Smith

Luke Valentine (1)

Jan Valtentine (2)

• Foregone Conclusion: In Kanaya's recap, it's certain that he and Waterwraith will die because an earlier page mentioned both of them being killed. And said page also showed Jan's decapitated head.
• Troll: Like in Hecksing Ulumate Crconikals, he prooves as a major annoyance to the Millennium's enemies. Not only is he given a broken power he doesn't have in canon, but then there's how he undoes all the damange done by Cleveland, Peter, and Stan by reviving everyone they killed.
  JV: (singing as he tosses the corpses into a field of 1-ups): i am an asshole, i am an asshole, I AM SUCH AN ASSHOLE!

Tubalcain Alhambra (3)

Schrodinger (4)

Zorin Blitz (5)

Walter C. Dornez (6)

Doctor (7)

• We Hardly Knew Ye: He gets stabbed by Hank in the panel right after his introduction.

Rip Van Winkle (8)

John and Jade's patron guide in regards to the Millennium's forces, she mostly advices them not to fight them.

Communicates in proper spelling and grammar. Uses these stupid vampire fanged smilies a lot. =(:
Does not normally use a number gimmick like the rest of the Millennium, unless something catches her off guard!!!!!!!!

Lucky "The Captain" Failington (9)

Janitor/Former Major (10)

Eric Cartman (11)

Hydra (12)

A three headed dragon being, each head has powers that could either apply to the entire dragon (IE water breathing) or just to that head (mainly firing projectiles)

Waterwraith (13)

Death Mecha (14)

• The Brute: By far the biggest member of the Millennium... not counting Quimby's size alteration powers.

Darkhorse (15)

Very little is known about this skeleton/horse hybrid. He seems to be the only member of the Millennium Hank likes.

[Ωmega Drew Pickles (Cue Ball)]

Whereas Rip acts as the guide for John and Jade, Drew acts as the guide to the trolls in regards to most things.

Lord Major Quimby

Good Yoshi

Silencer

The self-proclaimed leader of the group. Created by Gamzee after being convinced to do such by Hank Hill, it was originally just supposed to break up the date between John and Nepeta. (As revenge for John and Jade breaking Hank's window.) However, it shortly after came to life with the only thing on its mind being to not just to ruin them but to break the two up — by any means necessary.

talks by replacing "o" with "0," just like dead aradia.
uses n0 caps, and ellipses 0ften...

The Curse Woman

One of three agents created by the Silencer after the computer data within the combined movie. This one is supposedly invincible, and has some sort of demonic powers. These include replication and phychic manipulation.

Talks normally.

Homer Simpson

The second of three agents brought to creation by the Silencer.

Talks by coloring the letters that are in his name gold. Everything else is in black.

Bank Robber

The last of the three agents, this man resembles Problem Sleuth to the point where Dave battles him over copyright infrindgement. He is an expert criminal and skilled fighter, who's main motivation for joining the Revenge Five is money.

Talks normally.

Evil Yoshi

Spongebob Squarepants

His trolltag is listed as "suckmydick," but the initials are written as his name in all caps.

TYPES BY CAPITALIZING EVERY LETTER EXCEPT "O," To SHoW HIS FoNDNESS To THE MILLENNIUM.
IN EACH CoNVERSATIoN WITH A KID, HE ALWAYS BEGINS WITH THE SAME oPENING, DIFFERENT FoR EACH KID.