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Video Game / Ultimate Crab Battle

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A Shmup Flash game by Felix Weisner, available here.

The player controls Bobbeh the magical shark and his boy companion (unnamed) in an Underwater Boss Battle fight to the death against their mortal enemy, the Giant King Crab, in the final-est climactic-est ultimate-est final battle to ever come at the end of anything. The eponymous crab pulls out every stop in this fight, attacking with lasers, swordfish, electrified spikes, helmeted jellyfish, fast-growing coral, and increasingly overelaborate attack sequences, each one sillier than the last. It is, quite simply, a parody of the bombastic, flashy, theatrical Final Boss battles in many recent videogames.


Has nothing to do with this.

You will no longer stand between me and my tropes. Let this be our final battle!

  • Boss Arena Recovery: The "shoot me" fish allow you to recover either Torpedoes or Rockets depending on what color they are.
  • Chainsaw Good: His final special (after which he loops back to the first one if still not dead) uses two rows of chainsaw teeth with occasional conveniently placed gaps.
  • Crosshair Aware: His eye beam has a crosshair that homes in on you until the beam fires at you, which tells you where it's going to hit.
  • Excuse Plot: Bobbeh and his friend are fighting the King Crab to prove that sharks aren't evil; Crabs are.
  • Eye Beams: Bobbeh uses these infrequently.
  • Faceless Eye: His eye transformation.
  • Family-Friendly Firearms: The boy's main weapon is a laser gun.
  • Fluffy the Terrible: A magical, eyebeam-shooting shark named... Bobbeh.
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  • Flunky Boss: The Crab has random electric eels coming to shock you occasionally. He also doubles as a Mook Maker himself since a few of his specials summon diverse mooks, and the only attack he will use multiple times in the battle is the summoning of an small walking robot with a separate healthbar which tries to shoot you with plasma bolts.
  • Giant Enemy Crab: The boss of the game is The Giant King Crab, who is a giant crab.
  • Hammerspace: Somehow, a simple shark can store a lot more Torpedoes and Rockets than it size would suggest. The Giant King Crab also employs this, given that he has a gramophone, poison gas, a pearl, and Rambo, among other things located inside him.
  • Humongous Mecha: The AT-AT he summons at the start.
  • Instant Bandages: When he dies, he gains 2 bandages on his body.
  • Invincible Minor Minion: The electric eels he sends out. They come out regularly and can't be killed at all.
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  • Kaizo Trap: When you kill the Crab, you are immobilized for his ending cutscene, but you do NOT receive invulnerability. Thus, if you kill the Crab but leave one of his walker robot minions alone, you will keep standing in one spot as the Crab begins his monologue and the walker stands right underneath you, blasting you with plasma beams and eventually killing you. You can die during the ending cutscene. I Wanna Be the Guy much?
  • Luck-Based Mission: Some of his attacks can become this coupled with the random electic eel appearing. Standing in a spot waiting for his electric herse or the coral attack to end? Electric eel comes, no space to dodge, you're dead. Spinning around for your life during the Pearl move? Electric eel comes, no possibility to dodge, you're dead. Trapped between the chainsaw blades? Electric eel comes, no space to dodge, you're dead.
  • Macross Missile Massacre: As long as you have rockets, Bobbeh and boy will be shooting them at an alarming rate. Torpedoes are much more infrequent.
  • Musical Assassin: His second special has him bring up a gramophone and plays a visible stream of notes from it. Said notes can harm you if you're in their path.
  • My Death Is Just the Beginning: After he's defeated, he says that "the games have just begin".
  • Not Evil, Just Misunderstood: Or more exactly, Not Evil Just Hungry.
  • Pinball Projectile: The machine gun's orbs that are fired off by Rambo will bounce off the walls and floor of the battlefield multiple times. Fortunately, the pattern is always the same, so safe spots can be found.
  • Pull a Rabbit out of My Hat: One of the ways he summons mooks is by using his crown to summon jellyfish out of it to attack you.