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The Majestics make a brief pit-stop on their Silver Jubilee tour. Clockwise from top left: Vincent Diver, Fud O'Donnell, Danny McGlone, Bomba MacAteer and Suzi Kettles. And Dennis the roadie.

I got a girl. Here's the rub:
she makes me sleep in the tub.
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Cult hit from BBC Scotland and writer John Byrne (not the comic book guy) about the anniversary tour of Rock and Roll band, The Majestics, following the death of their lead singer, Jazza McGlone. Surviving members Vincent Diver, Bomba MacAteer and Fud O'Donnell recruit Jazza's younger brother, Danny, who's just returned from New York for the funeral, to replace him. Also tagging along on-and-off for the ride are Eddie Clockerty, the band's manager; his secretary, Janice Toner; Glenna, Vincent's pregnant girlfriend and Suzi Kettles, Danny's old classmate from the Glasgow School of Art.

Definitely not to be confused with a German Game Show from The '90s where the candidates had to do stripteases.


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This show contains examples of:

  • All There in the Manual: The Novelisation, written by Byrne, adds quite a bit of extra information, as well as more of the artwork that's briefly seen in the credits and on the cover of the DVD.
  • Arc Words: "Whit is it wi' dolls?"
  • Bifauxnen: Kettles, in accordance with the style of the time. The book mentions that, while they were at art school, Danny had thought she was a guy.
  • Butt-Monkey : Vincent. He's involved in a car crash on the way to Ardrossan, bandaged up after said crash and laughed at by Danny, then knifed in Buckie by a girl who believed him to be Bomba and to have fathered her in a one-night stand with her mother.
  • Concert Climax: Complete with a Concert Kiss.
  • Converse with the Unconscious: Danny falls asleep just as Kettles tries to explain to him that she's married, and that her husband beat her up.
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  • Curb-Stomp Battle: Kettles gets beat up by her estranged husband, Stuart, who comes to find her at her flat after he realises that she stood him up in order to go away on tour with Danny.
  • Driven to Suicide: Glenna. Vincent soon follows suit (although according to an in-universe 'where are they now?' story written by Alan Bissett for radio in 2012, Vincent survived). Noreen is believed to have made multiple unsuccessful attempts.
  • Foreign Culture Fetish: For 50s and early 60s America.
  • Foreshadowing: Vincent says that if Kettles spoke to him the way she does to Danny, he would lamp her. Bomba and Fud both look suitably appalled upon hearing this. Later, Kettles gets beaten up by her husband.
  • Glasgow: Features some famous locations like The Burrell Collection, The Eastern Necropolis and The Pavilion.
  • He-Man Woman Hater: Bomba balks at the mere mention of having a woman join the band.
  • Last-Name Basis: Danny and Kettles go back and forth with this.
  • Mama's Baby, Papa's Maybe: Invoked by Danny who finds out that Kettles is pregnant after she leaves the test lying about in her bathroom. Once they do the deed, he tells that he now has no reason to suspect that the baby isn't his.
  • Screen-to-Stage Adaptation: The National Theatre of Scotland adapted it for the stage, updating the setting and changing some of the songs.
  • Self-Immolation: Vincent douses himself in Polish vodka and sets himself on fire with the lighter that Glenna gave to him as an anniversary present as part of the Drama Bomb Finale.
  • She Is All Grown Up: Kettles, since university, if Danny is to be believed:
    "I seem to remember you were a dog at art school."
  • Softer and Slower Cover: Vincent, Fud and Bomba perform an a capella version of Eddie Cochran's Three Steps to Heaven at Jazza's funeral.

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