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The Majestics make a brief pit-stop on their Silver Jubilee tour. Clockwise from top left: Vincent Diver, Fud O'Donnell, Danny McGlone, Bomba MacAteer and Suzi Kettles. And Dennis the roadie.

I got a girl. Here's the rub:
she makes me sleep in the tub.
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Cult hit from BBC Scotland and writer John Byrne (not the comic book guy) about the anniversary tour of Rock and Roll band, The Majestics, following the death of their lead singer, Jazza McGlone. Surviving members Vincent Diver, Bomba MacAteer and Fud O'Donnell recruit Jazza's younger brother, Danny, who's just returned from New York for the funeral, to replace him. Also tagging along on-and-off for the ride are Eddie Clockerty, the band's manager; his secretary, Janice Toner; Glenna, Vincent's pregnant girlfriend and Suzi Kettles, Danny's old classmate from the Glasgow School of Art.

Definitely not to be confused with a German Game Show from The '90s where the candidates had to do stripteases.


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This show contains examples of:

  • All There in the Manual: The Novelisation, written by Byrne, adds quite a bit of extra information, as well as more of the artwork that's briefly seen in the credits and on the cover of the DVD.
  • Arc Words: "Whit is it wi' dolls?"
  • Bifauxnen: Kettles, in accordance with the style of the time. The book mentions that, while they were at art school, Danny had thought she was a guy.
  • Curb-Stomp Battle: Kettles gets beat up by her estranged husband, Stuart, who comes to find her at her flat after he realises that she stood him up in order to go away on tour with Danny.
  • Drink Order:
    • Danny: Dry Martini
    • Advertisement:
    • Janice: Gin and Tonic
    • Glenna: Barcardi and Babysham
    • Vincent: Bitter
    • Dennis: Corvoisier and Coke
  • Driven to Suicide: Glenna. Vincent soon follows suit. Noreen is believed to have made multiple unsuccessful attempts.
  • Last-Name Basis: Danny and Kettles go back and forth with this.
  • Mama's Baby, Papa's Maybe: Invoked by Danny who finds out that Kettles is pregnant after she leaves the test lying about in her bathroom. Once they do the deed, he tells that he now has no reason to suspect that the baby isn't his.
  • Mirror Monologue: Kettles occasionally does this.
  • Only Known by Their Nickname. Bomba and Fud.
  • Platonic Life-Partners: Janice and Eddie:
    "Him and I's got an arrangement - Ah treat him like and dirt and when he dies Ah get first refusal on the lease of the premises."
  • Putting the Band Back Together: Played with - the plot gets started with The Majestics trying to find a replacement for the band's lead singer after his death.
  • Raised Catholic: Jazza and Danny, and presumably most if not all the funeral attendees, since they all respond to "Lord Hear Us" with the kind of mutter that comes from familiarity, if not repeated use.
  • Screen-to-Stage Adaptation: The National Theatre of Scotland adapted it for the stage, updating the setting and changing some of the songs.
  • Self-Immolation: Vincent douses himself in Polish vodka and sets himself on fire with the lighter that Glenna gave to him as an anniversary present as part of the Drama Bomb Finale.
  • She Is All Grown Up: Kettles, since university, if Danny is to be believed:
    "I seem to remember you were a dog at art school."
  • Softer and Slower Cover: Vincent, Fud and Bomba perform an a capella version of Eddie Cochran's Three Steps to Heaven at Jazza's funeral.

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