Homestuck high (note capitalisation) is an infamous Troll Fic, in the Homestuck fandom (allegedly). It begins as a fairly bizarre but innocuous High-School A.U., in which John and Gamzee compete to take Rose to the Spring Fling. Then it gets weird. Of course, this fanfic has gained infamy with even the biggest fans of the original webcomic—not only due to its generally poor quality, but because it has very little to do with anything or anyone in Homestuck itself.
After a year long hiatus, during which time it was presumed by many to be a Dead Fic, Homestuck high finally updated with Chapter 9. However, the fic was officially discontinued on its fourth anniversary, when the author posted a lengthy addendum confirming the story's status as a Troll Fic and explaining why it would no longer be updated.
As of May 9, 2020, the fic has been removed by the author from Fanfiction.net. However, it has not been lost, thanks to it having been archived in various locations across the web.
Provides examples of:
- Adaptational Sexuality:
- John (who states in canon that he is "not a homosexual") has a threesome with Gamzee and Karkat at one point. To be fair, though, he's still technically not a homosexual...
- Kanaya (a lesbian in canon) makes out with John's Dad in chapter nine. This is probably the least weird part of the fanfic at that point.
- Alliteative Title: Homestuck as High-School A.U..
- All Just a Dream: The original chapter 10 was to reveal that everything after chapter 1 was thought up by Karkat while he was in his coma.
- Alpha Bitch: Rose."Hi rose" [John] said blankly
"What do you want loser" [Rose] replied coldly
"I wanted to know if you wanted to go to the dance with me?" John said
"Ok" Rose said "But if someone hotter than you asks me then im gonna go with them"
—>"Thats ok" John said
- Artifact Title: Only the first chapter has anything to do with high school, though the second word may be accurate in a different sense.
- Artistic License Biology: Jade gives birth to triplets after a mere two weeks of pregnancy, and each child has a different father. Possible, but very unlikely. (The part about each child having a different father, that is, not the two-week gestation.)
- Battle of the Bands: Eridan defeats demon!Sollux in a musician's duel. Later on in Chapter 9, there is set-up for a climactic final battle between Dave's band and Sollux, but we never get to see it due to the fic's lack of conclusion.
- Big Bad: Sollux, apparently.
- Cliffhanger: At the end of nearly every chapter.
- Composite Character: Tavros is now simply Karkat suffering amnesia after a botched suicide attempt. There's also Eridan and John, as elaborated below.
- Costume Porn: In the first couple of chapters, as part of the usual bad High-School A.U. schtick; Rose wears a leather bikini.
- Crack Fic
- Deus ex Machina: Nepeta suddenly showing up to help Rose while the latter is trapped in Sollux's lair. (Sort of. All she really does is give Rose a lockpick and get some crows to feed her maggots.)
- Dramatic Reading: Can be found here. Alternatively, this one or this one.
- Dream Walker: Aradia being this is probably the only thing the fanfiction gets right. Too bad she only appears once.
- Dull Surprise: The characters respond to most of the crazy happenings with nothing more than "oh okay".
- Everyone Is Bi: Oh yeah. And this is the least weird thing about the fanfic.
- Extreme Doormat: John.
- Extreme Omnivore: Vriska eats napkins and continues to do so after she finds out that Jade peed on them.
- Fat Bastard: Demon!Sollux "probably had fifteen girths", whatever that means.
- First-Person Perspective: Chapter 7 is the only chapter written in first-person.
- Girl on Girl Is Hot: The reason why John is okay with Rose having a thing for Jade.
- Hammerspace: Eridan is able to put his guitar in his pocket.
- Heir Club for Men: Of the three triplets Jade gives birth to, the girl is the only one that is biologically Dave's child, while the two boys are Sollux and Tavros's sons respectively. Dave finds this very distressing.
- Henshin Hero: John is granted the power to turn into Eridan by Aradia.
- Heterosexual Life-Partners: Dave and Karkat, supposedly.
- High-HeelFace Turn: Nepeta, who was working with Sollux for some reason and then decided to go with Rose when she suddenly falls in love with her.
- High-School A.U.: It starts out as one, anyway.
- Hypocrite: After declaring "gay stuff" to be "gross", the author writes the heroes engaging in a detailed albeit confusing gay threesome.
- IKEA Erotica: The John/Rose sex scene, as well as the John/Tavros/Gamzee sex scene.
- Informed Attribute: Dave and Vriska apparently really get around, including with each other, and Dave is into virgins.
- In Name Only: It has nothing to do with Homestuck except for characters' names.
- Insane Troll Logic: For the simplest example, we have John falling for Rose after she bit his arm, broke his glasses and made him cry. True love right there!
- Left Hanging: The fic ended prematurely, leaving all of its plots and subplots unresolved.
- Love Dodecahedron: Gamzee and John both like Rose, whose first love was Karkat, who then became Tavros and slept with Jade, who is dating Dave but has also been impregnated by Sollux, who may or may not have also impregnated Rose using John as a proxy. Furthermore, Vriska has a crush on Dave, Jade and Rose have feelings for each other (according to John), and John finds Karkat attractive and ends up having sex with both Gamzee and Tavros (at the same time).
- Love Triangle: Subverted; John/Rose/Gamzee, Jade/Dave/Vriska and Karkat/Jade/Dave are all set up but none of them go anywhere.
- Makes Just as Much Sense in Context: i.e. none.
- Mundane Made Awesome: John develops magical powers because of a blast of dark magic which comes out of a McDonald's burger.
- No Ending
- Official Couple: John/Rose and Dave/Jade. Both couples have the red string tied so tightly around their necks, that it's a miracle that they're still breathing. The Love Dodecahedron described above does not help matters.
- Offstage Villainy: Subverted. Sollux is supposed to be the single most evil being on the planet, yet in his first few appearances his "evil deeds" are only ever talked about rather than shown. Then in Chapter 8 it's revealed that his evil lair has a whole bunch of mutilated corpses hanging from the ceiling.
- Obviously Evil: Sollux.They turned their sweaty heads to see Jade struggling in the grasp of a man who looked more evil than ANY other man they had seen.
- One-Winged Angel: Eridan is now John's demonic battle form, into which he transforms by putting on a pair of plastic horns. Eridan claims that while he inhabits the body John's soul is trapped in Hell; nobody seems overly concerned, when John returns to normal he is unhurt, and this is never mentioned again.
- Our Genies Are Different: Aradia, who apparently has the ability to give people demonic powers through hamburger-induced Dream Sequences.
- Out of Character: Everyone.
- Perky Goth: Gamzee, for some some reason.
- The Power of Rock: This is apparently how Sollux and his equally evil brother Skrollux can be defeated.
- Purple Prose:"I lust johnatan NOT YOU!" she eviscerated softly wilst she cries the velvit tears odf the mennopauses that climacate from the ruens of the reched pedimeants of life.
- Random Events Plot: Not a single thing in the entire fic makes any sense at all.
- Really Gets Around: Dave and Vriska, apparently.
- Rock Me, Asmodeus!: The duel.
- Rouge Angles of Satin
- Split Personality: Karkat and Tavros, and possibly John and Eridan as well.
- Superpowered Evil Side: Eridan is a non-villainous example.
- Suspiciously Specific Denial: The narrator claims that Dave and Karkat were best friends and "did lots of things together", but "no gay stuff tho! that's gross!"
- Teen Pregnancy: Jade gets pregnant by Dave, Karkat, and Sollux. At the same time.
- Troll Fic: Confirmed in chapter 10, which is less a chapter and more a lengthy author's note explaining everything.
- Unexplained Recovery: Gamzee says that Karkat has killed himself; he turns out to actually be alive, albeit injured. The presumed suicide attempt never comes up again.
- What Does He See in Her?: John has liked Rose ever since she bit him and broke his glasses in second grade, and when he tells her he loves her she declares herself to be in lust with him.
- What Happened to the Mouse?: So what happened to Karkat's suicide attempt and why did he want to kill himself in the first place?